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-   -   Say it to my Face! (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=206186)

BHwolfgang January 21st, 2010 4:29 PM

Say it to my Face!
 
It's really sad to know that someone, especially a friend talking behind your back. It's even more sickening to know that they're never really were your friends in the first place.

Have you ever found out that someone you know or have never met in your whole life speak rudely about you? Would you rather let them whisper behind your back or have them say it in front of you, person to person?

I would rather want them to say what they're thinking directly. It would waste the trouble of me looking for the sly one and only connecting the dot to him/her. Besides, honesty hurts, but slander kills.

Axєl January 21st, 2010 4:32 PM

I've really only had anything like that happen once.. at least with someone who was actually friends with me. She didn't just pick me out though, she dissed our entire group of friends. :/ Then none of us spoke to her for over a year.. Anyway, I don't want to start rambling.

I'd much rather be told to my face, outright, instead of them talking behind my back.

poopnoodle January 21st, 2010 4:39 PM

Oh sure, and I can't say I'm innocent in partaking in that sort of mean-spirited gossip myself. :I I'd much prefer for people to be straightforward with me, about everything.

.little monster January 21st, 2010 4:56 PM

Bunches of times.

But meh.

Esper January 21st, 2010 5:03 PM

I've never had friends, or people I thought of as friends, say mean-spirited things behind my back (that I know of), but if they had I'd certainly want them to tell me up front. But if it were something like nonsense gossip or rumors... eh, I wouldn't care much either way.

Honest January 21st, 2010 5:09 PM

Yes I have. And it ended a bit badly.

Course face to face. I'm no chicken, and if he wont say it to my face, then it's a fight... which is exactly what happened with me.

Ayselipera January 21st, 2010 6:41 PM

Yes it has happened to me. As much as it would hurt I would rather them just tell me to my face. I would feel like a fool if they were talking about me behind my back while I'm thinking that they are my friend. Especially if they fooled me long enough that I began to trust them.

Guillermo January 21st, 2010 10:52 PM

Oh, it happens to me all the time. And I'm not innocent. I've spoken about people poorly behind their back. I've learnt to deal with it.

curiousnathan January 21st, 2010 11:16 PM

With me, I am in a group of 5 best friends and I know they are my friends!
We stick together in everything not matter what. But just this year our group is sort of broken a bit into two groups each talking about each other. Guess who is stuck in the midddle of it? Of course me.

Droidz January 22nd, 2010 2:16 AM

I have 3 best friends that i trust and they've never talked things about me behind my back, but i have had other people do it to me but it wasn't a huge deal because it was pretty pathetic.

Miz en Scène January 22nd, 2010 3:14 AM

Nope, my friends don't betray me.

But I have found people spreading rumors about me.

Anxiety. January 22nd, 2010 10:14 AM

People always talk about me. Thats what you get for being hormonal, aggressive, bisexual, abusive and androgynous.

And I would much rather people said it to my face. But hey, maybe its best I don't know what they say about me.

Ellie January 22nd, 2010 10:17 AM

Ugh, I just had to deal with this for yearbook staff not too long ago. Some girl on the staff was talking crap about me behind my back calling me annoying and a horrible staffer and I couldn't do anything right because the advisor had asked her to help me with a spread (without asking me if I needed it). I still don't know what I ever did to this girl to make her hate me, but I'm guessing she's jealous because she likes to kiss up to the teacher but I'm the most experienced member, so she can't push me out. Lol high schoolers acting like middleschoolers :|

sabapple January 22nd, 2010 10:41 AM

Hm.... I do know that people talk behind my back, there have been obvious clues, such as people that I have never seen before coming up to me and if I'm -Insert my name here-. I really don't know anybody in my school though, I'm a loner.... But it is obvious that there are rumors going on about me, I just wish someone had the guts to say it to my face. I really don't like how people will say just about anything behind someones back and not be able to say it to ones face. It's... Annoying... But I don't bother anyone, hm.... What could they possibly be saying about me? =/

Uecil January 22nd, 2010 10:50 AM

yes i've had it done to me loads of times and it really annoys me, and when they whisper so i can't hear what they're trying to say about me.
it makes me angry and upset but in the end i just have to look at who my true friends are.....

king totodile January 22nd, 2010 10:50 AM

yeah i hate that
it happens rarely to me since i seem to be one of the popular kids
i dont know why.xD

Alexithymia~ January 22nd, 2010 10:54 AM

I've heard that people say stuff about me..

I was even right behind someone and they said;
"Y'know [insert name] .. she was being a right.. [insert other stuff here] at lunch and guess what else..?" and then their friend pointed out where I was. They hadn't even noticed I was there. Jeez. -.-

I just went: "No.. carry on." .. But of course they didn't. I wanted to know what she was going to say.
I'd rather know what people were saying about me.

Guy January 22nd, 2010 11:52 AM

I can't say it hasn't happened to me before, because there have been quite a few moments when I discovered some of my close friends (or at least friends I thought were close) were talking behind my back rudely. There have also been cases with people I don't even know who've talked behind me back. Though, I never understood why when you can't really judge someone until you meet them personally.

...Anyway, I would much rather them say it to my face rather than keep it like a secret. The truth hurts, but I wouldn't want to be made a fool thinking the one person I care about is actually talking about me behind my back.

Rogue planet January 22nd, 2010 1:10 PM

Nope, probably because I've never done anything 'interesting' enough for people to gossip about.

Tsuki.Blossoms January 22nd, 2010 1:23 PM

That's happened to me once, but I didn't really care 'cause it wasn't something really bad.

I would prefer if someone said it to my face, rather then hear it from someone else.

ArcanineOod January 22nd, 2010 1:41 PM

I sometimes speak about people behind their backs - my own friends, but not in a malicious way. They're my friends and I still love them, but there are some things about them that irk me. Sometimes, when I'm very annoyed, I say it to their face, too. I try to avoid it, though, because I think to myself:
If I'm talking about people behind their backs, what are other people saying about me behind my back?

If there's someone I know doesn't like me, I'm alright with them talking about me like that behind my back. I mean, I already know they're not fond of me. I don't want to hear their poor opinions of me as well.
However, if it's someone I thought was my friend, and they don't actually like me, just pretend to, then talk about me like that behind my back, that's where I draw the line. I'd rather they said to my face that they don't actually like me than fool me into thinking they're a friend of mine. It would break my heart, but better to find out sooner from them, and deliberately, than later on because someone let it slip.

It's an interesting topic, because I'm actually quite insecure about friendship. I'm always worried my friends actually hate me and only hang around with me because they feel sorry for me or something like that. ^_^;

xX

Anxiety. January 22nd, 2010 3:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowwy (Post 5491915)
I've heard that people say stuff about me..

I was even right behind someone and they said;
"Y'know [insert name] .. she was being a right.. [insert other stuff here] at lunch and guess what else..?" and then their friend pointed out where I was. They hadn't even noticed I was there. Jeez. -.-

I just went: "No.. carry on." .. But of course they didn't. I wanted to know what she was going to say.
I'd rather know what people were saying about me.

Aha. Yeah this. It happens all the time, I guess if you keep your head down and just draw people forget you're there.

Sadly, this is how I found out most my 'friends' don't actually like me.

Friend 1: Ugh. I think *My real name here* wants me to come to his house. He's such a *insult here*, I really can't stand him
Friend 2: Yeah, I know what you mean. Why does he even hang around with us? I don't even know if any of us like him.
Friend 1: He should just get over himself, he's so angsty, it's not like anything ever happens to him (Oh if only they knew)
So I leant forward and whispered in Friend 1's ear "Y'know I can hear you, right?" and then I got up and walked out.

Honestly? I've never felt so hurt in my life.

Sucks really, doesn't it?

ArcanineOod January 22nd, 2010 3:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anxiety. (Post 5492430)
So I leant forward and whispered in Friend 1's ear "Y'know I can hear you, right?" and then I got up and walked out.

Honestly? I've never felt so hurt in my life.

Sucks really, doesn't it?

Indeed, it does. I think, though, that unless I was feeling so hurt that I was about to cry or something and didn't want to do it in front of them for pride reasons, I wouldn't walk out. After all, they wronged you. if anyone should leave, it's them.

xX

Cheesymitten January 22nd, 2010 3:43 PM

They've said it to my face and behind my back.
I can't do anything about it.
I'm the kind of person that won't say anything back or start a fight.
I get over it..
But it still hangs over my head.

Cold Fusion January 22nd, 2010 4:00 PM

Heh, people do it too me quite a bit. I'm not exactly 'popular' (Not like I care about being popular) as it would be put. People say these things and usually I don't do anything - but if it is in my face well, I stand up for myself much more than I used to. If people do say it behind my back I shrug it off, at least they know I'm there and I'm not miss invisible, yeah they may think I'm deaf or something but at least they can SEE me.

I know one person who I've known since I was 4 has done it for the 10 years we have known each other and she says that she never does it, yeah right, I do have ears. I don't talk to her much anyway she kinda lies about most things.

My friends we just do it about each other fun between our little group and have a laugh out it, not taking it too personally seen as we don't argue often.

But I would prefer it if they said it to my face.

Heart~Bunny January 22nd, 2010 4:14 PM

Yeah, people talk behind my back. But I don't talk about them behind their backs... I can't expect people to do unto me how they would like done to themselves. But.. I can (and do) DO unto others like I would like done to me. I just can't expect everybody to treat me with the same respect. Which is OK.

Saltare. January 22nd, 2010 4:26 PM

I did that today. One of my friends Marissa was talking about me and I turned around and said "SAY IT TO MY FACE, B****!"

It sucks when you get talked about behind your back. I'm a blunt person. My friend asked me if I wanted to be friends with the new girl and I was like "No. She's a snob"

I'll tell the truth.

The truth hurts. Life sucks. Get over it.

Anxiety. January 22nd, 2010 5:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArcanineOod (Post 5492464)
Indeed, it does. I think, though, that unless I was feeling so hurt that I was about to cry or something and didn't want to do it in front of them for pride reasons, I wouldn't walk out. After all, they wronged you. if anyone should leave, it's them.

xX

I left because of a pride thing. I'd never admit it to them, but I was about to cry. And I did, in solitude in the toilets. But just a single manly tear.

But I have a very good sense of revenge. I got them back and it was worth all the trouble I got into for it.

Ghostdragon January 22nd, 2010 5:24 PM

At some point I think everyone has that one person they pretend to be friends with just to get by. I understand you want people to tell you stuff to your face, but the reality of it is... they won't 80-90% of the time.

aurevesque January 22nd, 2010 8:25 PM

Thank goodness I haven't had anyone seriously talk behind my back.
And I do prefer them to tell it to my face. But, when i do catach them saying something, i usually just say really loudly, "THanks guys1 Really appreciate it! " usually shuts them up...

but, no, i'm not really into drama, so hopefully, i dont' 'cause any reason to be talked about...

Idiot! January 23rd, 2010 6:57 AM

I never liked describing anyone to anyone. Saying it straight to my face lets me get over it much better and faster.

PKFL_531 January 23rd, 2010 4:47 PM

Hmmm... Sometimes I use that power to my advantage. I can manipulate them by telling them something completely wrong about me, they'll spread the rumor, and sooner than you know it, nobody will be able to look at you the same way again.

But then again... I choose to be alone... I choose to be hated...


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