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Seven Destiny
The Gathering Of 7
Prologue: Armonia heard the whip before it hit her. Then a vile laughter immediately followed. “Surrender to me, Armonia. You know you won’t win this battle after all.” a deep voice boomed across the cavernous dungeon. Armonia risked opening her eyes. Six robed forms lined the grey, blank wall. Another hit from the whip forced her to shut her eyes again. “Open those eyes, Armonia! I want to see the pain you are feeling!” A rough hand grabbed her face, and she felt the stale air from her captor’s face. She opened her eyes and saw her arch enemy, Baraonda. The man’s face was scarred, carved by some inexperienced hands. Armonia could see the fire burning in those already dead eyes. And yet, she could also feel his ecstasy. The feeling of triumph. “No pain yet. Perhaps another one? Invidia. If you please,” Another crack of the whip. Then another. A barrage of whipping assaulted the bruised body of Armonia. But she didn’t scream. “No pain. Why? Accept defeat! Feel the pain!” Baraonda shouted. The whip sounded again. Finally, Armonia spoke. She opened her eyes, and stared directly at Baraonda. “I don’t know pain. And never will I feel it. As long as harmony is in the word, bedlam will never make me feel any pain.” “Cease the explanations! Your last warriors were defeated by my army. My seven person-army!” Baraonda swept his scarred hand across the room, acknowledging the robed figures, including Invidia. A voice echoed from one of the six. “Perhaps, Master Baraonda, she needs more ‘pain’,” the figure said. “Silence, Voglioso,” Baraonda said. “Invidia, join your mates and let me deal with Armonia.” Invidia retreated to the wall. Armonia looked at Baraonda and said, “I will never give up.” “Ah. We will come to that,” a Pokeball appeared in his hand. It was marked by a green symbol. “Can you see this, Armonia? With this, I can conquer the world!” Baraonda laughed. “Soon, the world will be mine!” Baraonda’s figure slowly melted, as with the seven robed person, and the cavernous room. In a second, everything disappeared. Armonia looked down at her feet, and sobbed. She cried for a while, then looked straight ahead, towards the mountain, towards the sunset. She closed her eyes, sending the last tear falling down her cheeks. The war cost her terribly. She lost her family, lost her belongings, lost her friends. She remembered the times she was fighting Baraonda’s army. It had been a decade already since Baraonda declared war against the Pokemon world. Armonia, as its leader, led the fighting, but it was a losing battle. All her comrades have been banished to another dimension, one after another. Baraonda don’t need recruits, as the Seven Claymaker are the strongest trainers still living. All had been previous gym leaders, and became the Pokemon Master for at least three times. According to the rumors, Baraonda tricked them to join him in the war. And since then, Baraonda never lost a single battle, as Armonia felt defeat after defeat. But now, Armonia thought, everything would turn to her side. She will relay her last message to seven chosen trainers from all over the world. No, the whole universe. It will be her last chance. But last chances should be taken. With that thought, Armonia retired to her relaying room. Seven chosen trainers. Seven destiny. Seven paths. One goal. One enemy. One bright future for the Pokemon world. And, Armonia, she would gather the Seven. Please suggest improvements and comment! Thank you! Next Chapters: ARC I: Brandon Halzen, the bulky boy of Gurlap Chapter I: Opportunity Chapter II: The Path to the Great Beyond Chapter III: Reunite Chapter IV: Revelations Chapter V: Retreat Chapter VI: Ambush Chapter VII: Decisive Battle Chapter VIII: Armonia |
The story seems... interesting. However there isn't too much playful imagery. Stuff that pops out and makes you get excited. With the character of Armonia, I am finding it slightly unrealistic for her while getting whipped to shout
"I don’t know pain. And never will I feel it. As long as harmony is in the word, bedlam will never make me feel any pain" I dunno. It just feels a little Mary Suish to shout out truth and honesty while getting tortured. |
I agree with the previous person about the whole perfectly lucid and calm while being tortured. and she didnt show much emotion at all, even the words were more or less emotionless. It'd flow a lot better if she was more defiant. and i got rather confused at the "Baraonda’s figure slowly melted, as with the seven robed person, and the cavernous room. In a second, everything disappeared." part. i cant tell if she was having a flashback (which seems unlikely) or if there was some magic, or a pokemon used some move or something. also, i got confused at the beginning with it starting with the whipping. I wasnt really expecting it so it caught me off guard. but the plot seems interesting and ill be looking forward to the next part of the story. good luck! ;)
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Armonia, Baraonda, and the 7 claymaker's real identities, their role etc. will be revealed later in the story. I meant it to be confusing at first, because I don't want to spoil my surprises.
EDIT: I will probably post the Arc 1.1 in a week or so. |
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