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Bay December 17th, 2010 11:37 AM

Neiko Star, bobandbill already said what I wanted to know more about your idea, but quick question. Is it going to be moreso like a guide kind of thing, or those books are some kind of plot device? If it's the former, looks like you got a lot of rules to write. XD If it's the latter, seems interesting how those summon books will play out. Sorry if I misunderstood your idea. I'm a bit confused. ^^;

Also while I'm at it, I have a quick suggestion about your plot idea dilemma. I know you said you're lazy plotting out your ideas, but doing an outline of sorts helps. You don't have to plot out the whole story, just figure out a beginning, middle, and end. Also, if you can, figure out how you can mash your ideas together into a story. I would have a thousand story ideas, but I was able to come up with a way to have them connect to one another usually.

Eeveemaster9 December 20th, 2010 5:52 PM

Just like to add this in.

If Pokemon are the animals of the Pokemon world, would that mean they'd eat eachother too? I mean, sure...You didn't see May's Eevee getting eaten by some Charizard, but really! Wild pokemon can't just eat leaves and dirt. Neither can real animals. Some can only eat meat. So, why is it that you don't see a Ninetails trying to catch a Rattata for supper?

Azurne December 20th, 2010 6:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eeveemaster9 (Post 6352266)
Just like to add this in.

If Pokemon are the animals of the Pokemon world, would that mean they'd eat eachother too? I mean, sure...You didn't see May's Eevee getting eaten by some Charizard, but really! Wild pokemon can't just eat leaves and dirt. Neither can real animals. Some can only eat meat. So, why is it that you don't see a Ninetails trying to catch a Rattata for supper?

Actually, I believe Pokémon do feed off each other. For instance, in Pidgeot's original Pokédex entries, it was said to 'skim the surface of water at high speed to pick off unwary prey such as Magikarp'. They just wouldn't show something like that graphically in the games or anime, so that's probably why you haven't seen it.

Also, just my two cents, but I've always thought that both animals and Pokémon coexisted.

Eeveemaster9 December 20th, 2010 7:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azurne (Post 6352389)
Also, just my two cents, but I've always thought that both animals and Pokémon coexisted.

I believe that too...Perhaps not every type of animal and bug, but maybe a few that can thrive in the Pokemon World?

Azurne December 20th, 2010 7:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eeveemaster9 (Post 6352412)
I believe that too...Perhaps not every type of animal and bug, but maybe a few that can thrive in the Pokemon World?

Well I don't see any reason why only a few would thrive. Why not all of them? It makes for a crowded planet, but we're not ever really shown just how big the Pokéworld is.

bobandbill December 20th, 2010 9:29 PM

The anime has been known to have shown non-Pokemon fish, and I believe iirc a dex entry for Spearow mentions it eating small bugs or possibly worms?

As for how big the Pokemon world may be, well we know Kanto/Johto/Hoenn/Sinnoh make up Japan (mostly) and Unova is based on NY in part, so there's a possible way to look at it.

Iqid Loopz January 3rd, 2011 2:06 PM

I had these on my mind for a while but haven't committed on doing these stories but here they are.

Plot Idea 1 - The story is about a man name Ricky a secret agent but disguised as a police officer went to heal his pokemon at the pokecenter. But once seeing the Nurse Joy at the desk. He pulls off a Brock and falls in love. As soon as he can seduce her. Her shift was over and quickly went to the washroom. And a older Nurse Joy took her place. and Ricky gets turned off. He waits for a few more hours but she never returned..

One day later, he goes back to the same center to talk to the Nurse Joy but instead of seeing the young Joy he sees a old Joy. And asked where the Joy he spotted was. In reply she went to the Nurse Joy Convention in Goldenrod City for the weekend.

Thus him and his Pokemon companion Marowak travel to Goldenrod and go to the Convention. Using his Agent skills to seeks out the Nurse Joy he fell in love with and comes across a few major problems while at it.

Plot Idea 2 - This is about a noob trainer name Maxy, who received his first Pokemon at Professor Oaks lab. Oak runs for washroom to take a dump and warns him NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING. But he does...He finds a machine with one capsule on what side a a small platform for a poke-ball. He then activates it and go into the capsule . The machine does it's stuff and teleports Maxy and his Pokemon into the Poke-ball. He is teleported into a world full of mazes and other things. And has to find a way out.

Oak in the other hand comes back from the washroom , lost on where Maxy is then puts poke-ball that Maxy is in into a bucket full of other...wait for it...wait for it...poke-balls!

Yay, out of my mind yup yup LOL...

Spinor January 3rd, 2011 6:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iqid Loopz (Post 6378862)
I had these on my mind for a while but haven't committed on doing these stories but here they are.

Plot Idea 1 - The story is about a man name Ricky a secret agent but disguised as a police officer went to heal his pokemon at the pokecenter. But once seeing the Nurse Joy at the desk. He pulls off a Brock and falls in love. As soon as he can seduce her. Her shift was over and quickly went to the washroom. And a older Nurse Joy took her place. and Ricky gets turned off. He waits for a few more hours but she never returned..

One day later, he goes back to the same center to talk to the Nurse Joy but instead of seeing the young Joy he sees a old Joy. And asked where the Joy he spotted was. In reply she went to the Nurse Joy Convention in Goldenrod City for the weekend.

Thus him and his Pokemon companion Marowak travel to Goldenrod and go to the Convention. Using his Agent skills to seeks out the Nurse Joy he fell in love with and comes across a few major problems while at it.

I want to comment on some of these ideas. First on this one, this beginning sounds a bit of a cliche situation. I'm going to assume these "major problems" would be the plot and conflict, which is actually what would be more important than this scenario you laid out. Depending on those conflicts, this story might be alright.
Quote:

Plot Idea 2 - This is about a noob trainer name Maxy, who received his first Pokemon at Professor Oaks lab. Oak runs for washroom to take a dump and warns him NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING. But he does...He finds a machine with one capsule on what side a a small platform for a poke-ball. He then activates it and go into the capsule . The machine does it's stuff and teleports Maxy and his Pokemon into the Poke-ball. He is teleported into a world full of mazes and other things. And has to find a way out.

Oak in the other hand comes back from the washroom , lost on where Maxy is then puts poke-ball that Maxy is in into a bucket full of other...wait for it...wait for it...poke-balls!

Yay, out of my mind yup yup LOL...
Quick comment, you shouldn't word your plot so 'meanly' :) Also, I am not exactly sure what kind of canon mechanics you're working with, Anime, Manga, Games, or something else. It sounds like an interesting story, but try to bring a bit more of a conflict. But one thing that bothers me is that it doesn't make sense that there would be mazes in a Poke ball.

bobandbill January 3rd, 2011 7:18 PM

With number 1 - I do wonder at the relevance of him being a secret agent - would that job come into the story in any way? Using 'Agent Skills' just to find someone sounds a bit odd too seeing people can use their....normal skills to try to find someone. =p If you mean more by that than do tell, along with the 'major problems'. The idea could work as long as you plan it well and make his interest in this specific Nurse Joy (as they all look the same) believable...

As for the 2nd idea, I do agree that it seems a bit odd for there to be a maze in the Pokeball for some reason - is it a special pokeball, and if so... why is there even a maze anyway, and why was it in the machine anyway if he just puts it in a bucket? Also you say that 'he and his Pokemon' get sucked into the Pokeball... but yet also say he went to get his first Pokemon from Oak which is contradictory. Did he somehow get it first? Oak suddenly having to go like like does sound...unprepared for Oak as well, tbh, especially that he doesn't notice that the machine had been used as well (because I would think a machine that can do that would at least make some beeps and boops and show some indication it did something).

IanDonyer January 4th, 2011 5:20 AM

Rock band "The Glorious Gengar" is successful; they've got a few smash hits under their belt, are being asked to do gigs left and right and are making tons of cash from it all.

But their happiness comes to a halt one day when a group of "loonies" decides to kidnap one of the band members and the remaining three are told not to inform authorities, and instead follow the captor's demands.

Capture the three legendary beasts: Raikou, Suicune, and Entei.

The story will follow the three bandmates with their introduction to Pokemon training, their attempts at learning disguise in order to be out in public without being mauled by groupies -- one of the objectives given by the captor, how they catch their various Pokemon, the search for the three beasts, and eventually a climactic showdown: Band versus Captor for the life of their bandmate.

Characters that will be involved--

The Glorious Gengar Band Members:
  1. Maya Krauser (Drummer)
  2. Emily Pattin (Lead Guitarist)
  3. George "Scooter" Allison (Bassist)
  4. Christopher Evans (Vocalist)


The bad guys:
  1. Richard "Richie" Rancure
  2. Victoria Durham (right-hand woman to Richie)
  3. Various grunts


So, what do you guys think? Please feel free to give suggestions, or ask for clarification on any subjects you might have found vague.

Bay January 4th, 2011 12:32 PM

Hm, quick question. Why those group of loonies specifically want to kidnap one of the bandmembers and what is their purpose for wanting the legendary beasts? Actually, why won't those loonies just get the beasts themselves? I don't know, but I'm thinking they could have just get those legenaries themselves to make things go faster and I don't see how a few bandmembers with little Pokemon training experience will be able to do that kind of work better.

Astinus January 4th, 2011 7:53 PM

Agreeing with Bay here. I mean, it might be interesting to see older characters learning to be Pokemon trainers. But with what you have currently, you have the plot hole of why do these people kidnap a band member? And why is the ransom the three Gerbits? If you remove the entire Pokemon part of the plot, then you're left with a mystery as to finding out who these people are and why they kidnapped a band mate, and there's also the thriller part of if the band mate can return safely.

If you want to include the Pokemon half of the plot, then you're going to have to answer the questions: Why don't the antagonists steal the Gerbits themselves? Why do they go with this plan? Why do they target the band specifically?

Willer January 4th, 2011 9:20 PM

So I had an idea for a fan fic before, and after revising I think I'm ready to pull it off. Without giving out too much...

The story is about a gang of Pirates, the Sea King Pirates to be exact. The story takes place in a Pokemon only inhabited by Pokemon, like in the mystery dungeon games. The plot is set off when the world council ( an alliance of the political leaders of this world, the central Government) strikes a deal with these Pirates. On their end of the deal they must do what they do best, and hunt down the greatest treasures in the world, The Essences.

Why are these lowly sea thieves chosen for the task? In addition to many little political details, this pirate crew was the first to do something many thought were impossible; they've actually managed to find one of these treasures and now have it in their possession.

And that's the basics of it. It'll be very action and adventure oriented with plenty of crew bonding.

IanDonyer January 4th, 2011 10:10 PM

Worry not on those fronts; they will be answered later in the story. Just wanted to do an overview there with as little spoilers as possible.

Chamomile13 January 6th, 2011 7:43 AM

So, recently joined and seeing this forum has got me in the mood to start writing again. And then I remembered a very curious story idea I had a year or two ago, which I think I may finally follow up on...

While playing Pokemon Red (again), I started dreaming up a totally new plot and setting, and radically altered several of the characters, and even the basic premise. There are no Pokemon in this version of Pokemon. Instead, the whole game revolves around martial arts. The main character ("Red") and his starter Pokemon (a Charmander, which means Misty ends up being harder than the Elite Four, but oh, well) are the same person. The other five Pokemon are a team of other fighters the main character picks up along the way.

The Indigo League is no longer just a competition, either. Centuries ago, the people of Kanto and the rest of the Empire it is apart of decided to start a martial arts tradition that would put a stop to the incessant succession wars that raged across the archipelago. Although wars still happen on occasion, they are much less frequent due to this new tradition.

According to this tradition, for one year after the ruler of any of the three kingdoms has passed away (including the Ice Kingdom to the north, the ruler of which is also the Emperor of the entire archipelago), his heir shall not take the throne. Instead, any noble who wishes the throne for themselves may journey to the residence of the king (in the case of Kanto, this is the Indigo Palace) and challenge the current heir to a traditional mock battle between their two Namaka's, small bands of trusted friends, advisors, and fellow warriors. The winner of this battle becomes the new heir apparent. A year after the death of the king, the current heir apparent becomes king.

There is another tradition by which one may join the nobility. In this tradition, one must journey to the stronghold ruling noble of each of the eight cities and fight a mock battle with them. Simply gaining entry to the noble's palace often requires a test of loyalty to the city and the Empire to which it belongs. After defeating the noble's Nakama, the leader of the group shall receive their Seal. The bearer of all eight Seals is made a Knight of Kanto and, thus, is eligible to make a bid for the throne at the Indigo Palace.

There's more to it than just that, of course. Each city has its own sub-plot, sometimes tied to the events in the actual game, sometimes just made up from the kind of trainers who're out and about in the area. There's a character dynamic between the main character, as yet unnamed, and the rival, whose working name is Gary Stu. The main character's Nakama is a whole host of interesting personalities on top of that. A shy, quiet thirteen year old nicknamed Silent Hill who turns out to be a real demon in combat, and her less competent older brother, Noisy Hill. The Tiny Baron, a fiery sixteen year old girl of questionable ethics and impulsive wit. Max Goldberg, a fugitive on the run from the Viridian City Guard who's out to liberate his city from the iron-fisted rule of the Marquis Giovanni. And more, but this is really far too long already.

Now if you've made it through all of that, I'm hardly in a position to ask more of you, but I would like to know if you're interested in seeing this story written out. So, please respond!

Bay January 6th, 2011 9:58 AM

OKay, first off...

Quote:

The main character ("Red") and his starter Pokemon (a Charmander, which means Misty ends up being harder than the Elite Four, but oh, well) are the same person.
I'm totally confused over this part. You think you can explain it a bit more?

As for your idea, to tell the truth, I think it'll work more as an original fic instead of a Pokemon fic. With Pokemon fics, you have to have the basic canon elements in it (the characters, towns, the Pokemon themselves) and not change too much of what's already in the Pokemon world. From what I'm reading, you're actually changing the characters, towns, etc. to make the story fit the plot you wanted. For example, you rid of Pokemon/Pokemon training and have martial arts thrown in. Granted, not all Pokemon stories have to deal with Pokemon training, but that's one of the things common in the Pokemon world and that's one of the ways you're already altering it to have what you want in your plot. I know you already said some events from the game will tie in to this plot, but not sure how that'll work.

And one more thing. I know Gary Stu is a working name, but I advise not to use that name if you're going to make this story a serious one. XD

Chamomile13 January 6th, 2011 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bay Alexison (Post 6383770)
OKay, first off...


I'm totally confused over this part. You think you can explain it a bit more?

Each member of the band of heroes is analogous to one of the Pokemon from the game, which is why the band (inexplicably) never has more than six people in it. So, the role played by Charmander in the game (i.e. fighting things, typically the most powerful Pokemon in the group) and the role played by Red in the game (i.e. the main character) are fulfilled by the same person.

Also, I'm not advertising this as a Pokemon fic. It'd be an original fic, with lots of names/places/geography lifted from Pokemon (the eight ruling nobles are directly named after the Kanto gym leaders, their cities' names and locations are lifted straight from the game, Team Rocket's activities in Mt. Moon, Lavender Town, and Saffron and Celadon Cities are all exactly the same). Because of the obvious ties to the Pokemon world, I decided to pitch it here to see if anyone would be interested in reading it (if it was a Pokemon fic, I wouldn't pitch it, I'd just write it and see how the first chapter goes, since I know people on a Pokemon forum will be interested in reading a Pokemon story).

I could go through and rename everything in order to cut ties with Pokemon completely, and just hope that no one notices that the geography of the world, the activities of the criminal organization, and the basic "defeat eight people so you can defeat four more people so you can be a champion and also your rival shows up a lot" are all copy/pasted. Even then, though, where would I post it? There's not much market for original fiction of non-professional quality, even when given away for free.

JX Valentine January 6th, 2011 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IanDonyer (Post 6381530)
Worry not on those fronts; they will be answered later in the story. Just wanted to do an overview there with as little spoilers as possible.

I'd hate to rant here, but why do people keep doing this? To put it simply, when you write up a concept for us to judge, the main point of doing that is to figure out whether or not it'd be good. If you leave out something pretty important (even by not using the spoiler tags we have for your convenience), the people you're asking will write it off as a plot hole and say your idea won't work.

With that being said, yes, I'm one of those people who are tilting their heads a little at your concept. It's a pretty cool idea to have a band be the main characters, but it doesn't quite make sense for an evil team who wants the legendary beasts to send someone outside of their organization to do it. And the people they're sending have apparently no training experience, either, so it's like sending a drunk frat boy off to perform brain surgery. I'm sure you've got an epic explanation behind why they chose to do this, but without it, it shouldn't be surprising that your proposal strikes a number of people as a little iffy.

And that really goes for anyone who posts an idea in Writer's Lounge/this thread. If you're going to do it, make sure you provide as much information as possible (even using the spoiler tags if necessary) because, really, if you don't, you're not going to get the answer you're looking for.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willer (Post 6381476)
So I had an idea for a fan fic before, and after revising I think I'm ready to pull it off. Without giving out too much...

The story is about a gang of Pirates, the Sea King Pirates to be exact. The story takes place in a Pokemon only inhabited by Pokemon, like in the mystery dungeon games. The plot is set off when the world council ( an alliance of the political leaders of this world, the central Government) strikes a deal with these Pirates. On their end of the deal they must do what they do best, and hunt down the greatest treasures in the world, The Essences.

Why are these lowly sea thieves chosen for the task? In addition to many little political details, this pirate crew was the first to do something many thought were impossible; they've actually managed to find one of these treasures and now have it in their possession.

And that's the basics of it. It'll be very action and adventure oriented with plenty of crew bonding.

It sounds like an interesting premise -- one that reminds me a lot of The Pirates of Dark Water. (Screw One Piece.) And I'd hate to be brief, but for once, there's nothing I can suggest beyond what I've told you in your villain thread.

In fact, in light of this, I encourage you more to think outside the box and figure out a villain who doesn't stereotypically scream "villain." The reason why I say this is because your premise is (despite the fact that it reminds me of something else) pretty original, so you'll want to avoid a cop-out by going with a predictable villain (read: a Pokémon people think is evil). Of course, the villain is all up to you, and as I've said, you'll want to aim for developing the role itself before figuring out which Pokémon would fit it best.

Good luck, and I hope to see it in the main forum soon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chamomile13 (Post 6383819)
Also, I'm not advertising this as a Pokemon fic. It'd be an original fic, with lots of names/places/geography lifted from Pokemon (the eight ruling nobles are directly named after the Kanto gym leaders, their cities' names and locations are lifted straight from the game, Team Rocket's activities in Mt. Moon, Lavender Town, and Saffron and Celadon Cities are all exactly the same).

Considering the fact that your concept is essentially completely original (besides the structure of the league -- which, really, won't necessarily ring many bells in your reader's heads if you put enough creativity in masking it), it would actually be better to just drop all the names. Otherwise, if you label this as original fiction and attempt to use the canon characters (or their names), you'll still be called out for a lack of creativity because people will read that as you stealing characters for your original work.

Beyond that, it has a very Ranma 1/2 feel to the structure, but I get the feeling it should be interesting as a serious fic, too. A little like Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter. It will be interesting to see what kinds of techniques you come up with in this new form of martial arts, particularly to make the battle against Misty difficult (considering you've mentioned that one in particular).

Quote:

There's not much market for original fiction of non-professional quality, even when given away for free.
Yes, there is. You just have to look in the right places.

Chamomile13 January 6th, 2011 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6383914)
Considering the fact that your concept is essentially completely original (besides the structure of the league -- which, really, won't necessarily ring many bells in your reader's heads if you put enough creativity in masking it), it would actually be better to just drop all the names. Otherwise, if you label this as original fiction and attempt to use the canon characters (or their names), you'll still be called out for a lack of creativity because people will read that as you stealing characters for your original work.

I pretty much am stealing and expanding upon what little characterization people get in a Pokemon game. The biggest reason why I wanted to pass this off as a psuedo-fanfic, though, is because that is an epically massive amount of names to come up with. I hate coming up with names. Probably a good idea, nonetheless.

Quote:

Yes, there is. You just have to look in[the rightplaces.
Yay![/nappa]

Bay January 6th, 2011 3:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chamomile13 (Post 6383996)
I pretty much am stealing and expanding upon what little characterization people get in a Pokemon game. The biggest reason why I wanted to pass this off as a psuedo-fanfic, though, is because that is an epically massive amount of names to come up with. I hate coming up with names. Probably a good idea, nonetheless

Actually, a lot of the characters in the games do have personality. You just have to be a nerd and pay attention to their speech, what actions they did, and what others say about them. :P

And actually, I don't think it's a good idea like that. Having an original concept and use the names from a game/tv show/book/ etc. will cause people to say that character is recognizable only in looks and not personality. You're better off taking the time to think names for characters. May I suggest the website Behind the Name to look up at some names if you're stuck in that department?

Willer January 6th, 2011 5:50 PM

It was brought to my attention my Pirate idea isn't really a Mystery Dungeon fan fic as I had thought because it doesn't follow the "Exploring and Rescuing" Formula, though the exploring is 100% still there, there's pretty much no 'rescuing", asides from rescuing crew members. But what you said it right, which is why I haven't started yet. I've planned out the entire crew, the 'good guy' antagonists , the list of 'boss' fights (not including villain fights) and the order they happen but I really want to work on this villainous group alot more to where they're not just doing it for the giggles.

Astinus January 7th, 2011 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chamomile13 (Post 6383996)
I pretty much am stealing and expanding upon what little characterization people get in a Pokemon game. The biggest reason why I wanted to pass this off as a psuedo-fanfic, though, is because that is an epically massive amount of names to come up with. I hate coming up with names. Probably a good idea, nonetheless.

It probably would be. Because if you want to use the basics of the characters from Pokemon in your original fanfiction, then why not just write Pokemon fanfiction? That way, you won't be accused of stealing characters, you won't have to think up names, and you'll have a built-in audience.

But if you want to write original fiction, then you're going to have to put in the work of thinking up names and personalities for your characters. Otherwise, it would just be weird to read about a character named Red from Pallet Town in Kanto who wants to defeat the Elite Four...and not have it be about Pokemon. Everything else about your story is different, though. So that's good.

See, that's one reason why people write fanfiction. Because they want to explore more of a character's personality than what was given in canon.

But yeah, try behind the name which has a random name generator for names.

Chamomile13 January 7th, 2011 8:56 PM

Note: Having now finished this post, I realized that I'm basically taking several paragraphs to say absolutely nothing, since I've already decided to convert the thing into an original fiction and hope for the best. So unless you're really bored and want to hear me rant about the peculiarities of the status of my story as not quite fan fiction or original fiction, feel free to skip this post in its entirety.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 6385844)
It probably would be. Because if you want to use the basics of the characters from Pokemon in your original fanfiction, then why not just write Pokemon fanfiction? That way, you won't be accused of stealing characters, you won't have to think up names, and you'll have a built-in audience.

I considered it, because almost all of the characters are lifted directly from the game, and then fleshed out a bit and occasionally repurposed slightly to fit the altered theme of the world. I could've just altered things back, and changed the Pokemon universe only slightly to facilitate the plot (the biggest change being that the Leagues aren't just a major sporting event but a method of asserting political power, in order to keep the main characters' motivations intact).

But that would also mean drastically altering the party dynamics of Red's team. In the fiction I've ended up outlining, one of Red's biggest roles is that of keeping the party together even though all of its members have different motivations. This falls apart completely if they're all Pokemon. Most of their motivations just don't apply anymore. It doesn't make any sense for fully half the time to be so concerned with personal wealth, fame, or status if they're Pokemon, and Silent Hill's motivation revolves around her parents having been imprisoned for being political dissidents against Giovanni's iron-fisted rule of Viridian City. This stops making sense in context of Pokemon. Pokemon are typically loyal to their trainer by default, and even if I made it an AU where this isn't true, Red would still be more controlling his Pokemon through sheer force of will than manipulating them into sticking together to chase after a shared goal. Not to mention, adapting Silent Hill's motivation to her being a Pokemon is going to sound like a cartoonishly preachy statement about cruelty to animals.

Quote:

Everything else about your story is different, though. So that's good.
Erm, no. Looking back, it sounded like that, but only because I spent most of my time explaining the differences (or really, the one big difference) between normal Pokemon fan fiction and my story. My story is literally just the Pokemon story with nothing but surface details changed. The main plot and the characterization of everyone outside the main party are exactly the same, and that's because the main party doesn't have characterization in Pokemon. Red's literally a blank slate for the player to project on, and his Pokemon are characterized solely by a two-sentence Pokedex entry.

Really, that's the whole problem. This story exists in a sort of a twilight zone between original and fan fiction. It's not just the names that would need to be changed, since the plot and 90% of the characters are also unchanged. I plan to just ignore that completely and hope people don't pick up on the similarities, but anyone who noticed one similarity, just by chance, would probably pick up on the rest very quickly.

Of course, all this could be solved by just taking the original parts of the story and changing the details. Altering the geography and order the cities are visited in, moving certain gym leaders/nobles around, changing the activities of my Team Rocket expies to reflect the newly altered geographic and political landscape...

But I don't really want to go through that much effort, to be honest. I'm still kind of recovering from the burnout that followed from an aborted collaborative writing project two months ago, and I'm honestly looking for an easy project to get me started writing again. Finally putting this odd little idea of mine down into writing seems like a really good idea. The structure of the plot is already written down for me, and I already have a bunch of interesting characters with differing and often conflicting motivations, including one who's dedicated to making sure the whole team doesn't fall apart. All I really have to do is stick them in Point A and watch the protagonist try to get them all to Point B, personalities bouncing off of one another and character growth happening all on its own, without any forethought on my part.

Anyways. /rant I hope anyone who ends up reading all of this gets something out of it all, because I'm worried it may have ended up sounding a lot whinier than it was supposed to.

Azurne January 8th, 2011 11:59 AM

I'm sorry, but I'm really confused now... What exactly did you want to do with this fiction? If i'm reading all of your posts correctly, you want to make a fanfiction with no Pokémon, but stealing the storyline and simply altering it? Can you clarify that for me?

For something that is only supposed to get you back into the groove of writing, you're throwing a lot of problems in for yourself. If you want to write it as you've said, go for it, but I don't recommend posting it here. I just don't see the point since you're ripping out the backbone of this franchise and only slightly altering the story. I can't see anyone reading it because not only are you removing what made this fandom (the Pokémon), but keeping the story mostly the same, ergo we pretty much know how it ends.

You're better off ditching this idea, if this is essentially what you're doing. If you don't want to put a whole lot of effort into a story, I'd recommend simply brainstorming for about five minutes and writing a short story about Pokémon.

Bottom line I suppose is, if this isn't something you want to put a whole lot of effort in, keep it to yourself in a word document. Then when you feel up to it you can work on whatever it is you really want to work on. I just don't understand the point of posting a story where you didn't put your whole effort into creating it.

I don't mean to come off as cold, I'm just slightly baffled. XD

Chamomile13 January 8th, 2011 5:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azurne (Post 6387530)
For something that is only supposed to get you back into the groove of writing, you're throwing a lot of problems in for yourself. If you want to write it as you've said, go for it, but I don't recommend posting it here. I just don't see the point since you're ripping out the backbone of this franchise and only slightly altering the story. I can't see anyone reading it because not only are you removing what made this fandom (the Pokémon), but keeping the story mostly the same, ergo we pretty much know how it ends.

Pokemon didn't have much in terms of plot to begin with. The interesting part of this story would be the character drama, which is the interesting part of pretty much everything I write. And also the easiest part for me. And, if past experience is anything to go by, the character interactions are enough to sustain a good story.

Quote:

You're better off ditching this idea, if this is essentially what you're doing. If you don't want to put a whole lot of effort into a story, I'd recommend simply brainstorming for about five minutes and writing a short story about Pokémon.
No good. If it's not a story that I'm personally interested in, it won't help me get started again. It'll probably just make things worse. I could try to force myself to write something just based on existing audiences, but it'd probably kill the muse just after she's come back. I need a group of characters that I like, and I already have that. I just need a plot to give them.

Quote:

Bottom line I suppose is, if this isn't something you want to put a whole lot of effort in, keep it to yourself in a word document.
Also no good. I cannot write without feedback from other people. Not for very long. I pretty much always give up on a project if I have to write more than ~20 pages of it without hearing at least one or two people tell me what they thought about it.

Quote:

Then when you feel up to it you can work on whatever it is you really want to work on. I just don't understand the point of posting a story where you didn't put your whole effort into creating it.
Well, you might say that I am putting my whole effort into creating this. It's just that, being in recovery from severe burnout, my whole effort isn't nearly as much as it usually is.

Bay January 8th, 2011 8:23 PM

Quote:

Pokemon didn't have much in terms of plot to begin with. The interesting part of this story would be the character drama, which is the interesting part of pretty much everything I write. And also the easiest part for me. And, if past experience is anything to go by, the character interactions are enough to sustain a good story.
Pokemon does have plot if you think about it for a bit. Sure, maybe not the much original, but I say the plots get better and better for a children's game IMO. As for character drama, those are good sometimes, but there has to be some kind of situation first that triggers the character drama in order for those kind of stories to work.

Quote:

No good. If it's not a story that I'm personally interested in, it won't help me get started again. It'll probably just make things worse. I could try to force myself to write something just based on existing audiences, but it'd probably kill the muse just after she's come back. I need a group of characters that I like, and I already have that. I just need a plot to give them.
Real quick, make sure you have the characters work for the plot, not the other way around if you know if I mean. And also, a story is just as important as characters. The events happening is what will shape the development of the characters, so you have to think a bit about the plot you wanted to do and not just how you want the characters to interact. You don't have to think everything that's going to happening, but do have an idea which direction you want to take the plot.

Quote:

Also no good. I cannot write without feedback from other people. Not for very long. I pretty much always give up on a project if I have to write more than ~20 pages of it without hearing at least one or two people tell me what they thought about it.
Well, JX Valentine already mentioned some places you can show you writing in this earlier post. if you're really considering doing this story as original fiction.

Chamomile13 January 9th, 2011 11:22 AM

I said it didn't have much of a plot, I didn't say it had no plot at all. Pokemon is a very good story for this sort of thing, because it has a very basic, but very solid plot, individual pieces of which can be dramatically altered or expanded on a whim without significantly changing the rest of the course of events. If Viridian Forest gets burned down, Red gets framed for the Team Rocket theft in Cerulean, and Lt. Surge turns out to be working for Team Rocket, Red's still going to be going to Lavender, Celadon, etc. etc. to complete his journey.

And yes, I do plan on making it an original fic and making use of the sites mentioned in that post. I just don't plan to keep it on a Word document.

Incidentally, if anyone can think of good names to replace Professor Oak and Pallet Town, I'm kind of stumped on those.

bobandbill January 10th, 2011 9:12 PM

=|

Guys, let's move to a different topic already. This thread isn't for arguing (heck, straight from the first post: 'Don’t argue and be civil'). Any more of that and infractions might start coming.

As it is I'll be deleting all those off-topic posts then.

Otherworld9) January 18th, 2011 2:41 PM

New Story Help
 
Well, I didn't really pay attention to any of these fan fics until now, so I guess I'm a newbie at this. Well, to get things over with, do any of you think a good plot for a story involving a Riolu?
Synopsis:
Deneta was an ordinary teen girl, and a craze over anime. One day, Ron calls her over the phone, wanting emergency over his strange request. He has turned into a Pichu. She doesn't know how he did it, but she goes along with his help. Without knowing what has happened, before she could think of a plan, she is turned into a Riolu, entering the world of Pokemon and meeting many that might be able to answer her question...why did she turn into a Pokemon?

I got the characters, I just need a plot to go along with them....:paranoid:

JX Valentine January 18th, 2011 4:09 PM

I'd hate to be overly blunt, but if you have to ask others for a plot, chances are you're going to have a lot of problems down the line. After all, a lot of creativity goes into writing, so if you can't come up with a general idea for what you want to do, you'll probably end up getting stuck when you try to execute the more detailed version of that same idea.

This is because a story often has subplots that go right along with it. The concept -- what most people call the plot -- is just a very general overview. For example, if you have a concept wherein these Pokémon go on a Mystery Dungeon-like adventure to defeat (insert evil Pokémon here), that's fine, but beyond that, you might have subplots involving them falling in love with each other, them trying to get used to their powers, all kinds of other things. You're going to have to come up with those yourself because, well, we can't really be there for you all the time to write the story yourself. Not to mention it'd be much more satisfying to you if you came up with your own idea and to us to read your creativity at work.

With that being said, my advice is, if you're suffering from a lot of writer's block, to do any number of the following:

1. Look hard at your characters. You've already got a halfway decent plot as it is. Kids get turned into Pokémon. They don't know why. They set out on a journey to figure it out. Just add the reason and maybe (if applicable) some antagonists, and you've got yourself the skeleton of a story.

2. Think about what you want to write about. Yes, what you want to write about. Another reason why we can't give you a plot? Because not everything floats everyone's boats. For example, I hate writing sappy romance a la some romantic comedy film, but I love writing dark fic. If someone asked me to write sappy romance, I'd go for about two pages before someone gets bound and tortured. Short of it is, ask yourself what kinds of genres you're most interested in. Are you more of a fantasy person? Science fiction? Do you like happy endings or sad ones? Things like that. (No, I'm not expecting an answer to any of these. Do not answer these questions to get me to come up with a plot for you.)

3. Tied in with the above, read, watch some TV or movie, listen to music, do a lot of other things that are in the same genres as what you want to write about. That should give your brain a jumpstart in order to think of potential ideas.

4. Read a lot of fanfiction too. Fanfics on this forum are also sorted by genre in the Fanfiction Index. You can use that as a tool to guide yourself to your genre(s) of interest.

5. Open up a blank word processor document or your notebook and write down notes. They can be anything from backstories and more information about your characters to whatever pops into your mind first. Getting the thoughts from your head to someplace where you can see them and go back over them can help you keep track of your ideas as well as add to them later. Something might pop up the longer you go about doing this.

6. When you've got a general concept or few, take it here and put it up. In the Plot Bunny Thread, you can get feedback on your thoughts as well as a few nudges in the right direction. However, remember. Don't go there until you come up with a general idea first.

Tl;dr, sorry to say, but it's a good idea to sit down and push yourself to think of a plot instead of asking others to do it for you. You can, though, if you work hard enough on it. Good luck!

Otherworld9) January 18th, 2011 5:22 PM

A Plot
 
Thank you, I'll work on it. :P
Helps me a lot.

Roxasabridged January 21st, 2011 9:26 AM

I had this idea a while ago. I've not done much with it, but I may sometime in the future:

It's set in a Mystery Dungeon kind of 'verse. Exact locations are still lacking, but anyway...

The story follows 'Team Rio', comprised of a Riolu (Rio), Plusle (Axel) and Minun (Mina). Rio is a bit of an overconfident, unlike-able 'mon, who only teamed up with Plusle and Minun because a team was required to become a Rescuer.

Rio wants to become a Rescuer simply for the fame and recognition. One day, when exploring a 'Dungeon' for himself, he saw the two Pokemon being attacked by a Poochyena. After saving the two, he basically conscripted them as repayment.

The Rescuer Guild is split into three factions who deal with a part of the region: the 'Endless Flame' faction, run by Charizard. 'Infinite Water', ran by Blastoise', and 'Eternal Nature' ran by Venusaur.

After being accepted, the group do various tasks. Rio, of course, is angry that he only gets menial tasks that won't earn him fame, Axel is angry at being forced to accompany Rio and being forced to hang back and let Rio do the work, and Mina tries to settle in with the guild.

However, during one their 'menial' missions, they encounter a mysterious group, who claim to be after 'Apocalypse', stated to be untold disaster that will bring ruin to the region.

After an initial defeat, in which Mina is injured badly, Rio and Axel have a rather serious fight, before Rio decides to accept help from the twin Pokemon (And by extension, other Rescue Teams).

Once Mina recovers, the group's relations increase, as does their fame as they rank up, but the looming threat of 'Apocalypse' still bothers them. The threat was treated as a 'Maniacal fantasy that wouldn't come to fruition', but when Pokemon that live near Dungeons start going berserk, the matter is finally treated seriously.

Again, the group meet with the group (Which they learn is called the 'Acolytes'), as well as their leader. A Lucario, who claims to be Rio's brother.

... Well, not to ramble on about every little detail in the story, it basically follows the adventures of a Riolu who learns to accept help and realise that fame doesn't necessarily mean being an all powerful loner, and just happens to form a group that take it upon themselves to prevent 'Apocalypse' from happening.

And for those curious on some more details on Apocalypse...

Spoiler:
It's basically 'Arceus: Chaos Mode'. A frenzied Arceus whose only goal is to destroy the world it once created. Problem is, once summoned, it's power needs time to build, so if an experienced group happens to confront it... who knows what would happen?

JX Valentine January 21st, 2011 12:14 PM

A Mystery Dungeon fic that isn't actually a cookie-cutter, human-was-turned-into-a-Pokémon Mystery Dungeon fic including a jerkass main character and promises for shenanigans? Yes, please.

Seriously, this sounds like it'll be an awesome fic, just because of your main character.

Spoiler:
I'm a little bit iffy about the Arceus part (because it sounds a lot like Primal Dialga), but on the other hand, you're also not telling us why Arceus is deciding he wants to be axe-crazy now. I'm not saying you have to. Just saying that and how you go about that in general will be the key points in deciding whether or not that'll actually be the one part of the fic that ends up sounding a lot like generic MD fics. Given the rest of the concept, I have a feeling you'll be able to avoid a cookie-cutter feel anyway.


Good luck!

Roxasabridged January 21st, 2011 1:16 PM

I never meant to have similarities to Primal Dialga (Never got that far in the game...) but as for why he's now evil...

Spoiler:
Not worked out the full details, but right now, the reason is currently due to the ritual needed to summon him, combined with the... 'darkness' and immense will of Rio's brother is enough to overpower Arceus (which could be temporary, but enough time to wreak plenty of havoc at least).


Glad you like it, although I don't have the time to really get it written right now. Plus I know I'd screw it all up at some point down the line.

bobandbill January 21st, 2011 2:58 PM

The team attempting this 'ritual' would need their motivations and so forth for doing so established as well, I feel, but I agree with Jax that it certainly seems interesting!

Astinus January 30th, 2011 1:41 PM

Oh, maybe you know about that game that has Professor Layton meeting Phoenix Wright? It crossed my mind when I read what fandoms you were writing about.

Anyhow, speaking of Layton, Phoenix (and Luke, right? Please tell me Luke's in the story), what's their role in the story? They have to figure out what's going on at this hotel? You only talked about the woman. And I have to say... She sounds like she has the more interesting story. Maybe it's just me, but I'd like to read more about the woman. But it'll be interesting to see how Layton and Wright work through the clues to figure out her back story.

But yeah, I can see that the back story itself is a little rough. Maybe...

Spoiler:
Maybe have the machine the father uses transfer the brain waves? They're connected through it, and it seems to make more sense to me than to have twin B transfer after her death. And then twin A is upset that her sister has the ability to take over her mind. (Like, the two sisters don't really like one another, or twin B doesn't like twin A for being better, since twin A continues to grow up and owns a successful B&B.)

Or maybe twin B's just mad that twin A survived. But that would come after twin B died, and it just makes more sense to me personally to have the brainwaves transfer as the two sisters were connected by the machine. And as I sort of demonstrated, that way you can have the sisters be more developed and show a deeper hatred on the part of twin B than just that her twin got to live and she didn't "deserve" to.


If that makes sense.

But this does look interesting, and I'd like to hear more about the parts of Wright and Layton.

Dragonite Ernston January 30th, 2011 7:40 PM

The Cyrus x Giratina shipping needs some love (YES PUN INTENDED).

Somebody should write a story about that shipping. It exists in name only. I mean, come on. They're the only two beings in the Distortion World; something's bound to come between them.

Astinus January 30th, 2011 8:59 PM

@Impo: Yeah, that covers it. Your second spoiler is definitely what I was looking for in terms of back story for the sisters. I like it.

You probably don't want as many puzzles in your story as there are in the game. Really, just have enough to show Layton's skills, and then a few scenes that shows Phoenix's skills. (You'll have to forgive me. I've never played an Ace Attorney game! Only Professor Layton.) That way, there's the basis of what both characters do, and you can use the scenes to have them build respect for one another while solving the mystery.

There's the possibility of using the canon characters' pasts to add to the story. You can always see if there's more to their history that you can use.

But yeah, your post is clear, and I'm liking your story so far.

@Dragonite Ernston: Are you asking for someone to write some Cyrus x Giratina? You do know that there are quite a few ships on that grand shippers' list that don't have fic written for them*. Maybe see if there's even a demand for fic of that ship? I haven't even seen anyone mention it elsewhere, so I don't know how many other people would even think of exploring that ship. But if you start talking about it (like you did now) you might bring someone's attention to it, and they'll start exploring it.

*Baw to no Blazeshipping love.

Dragonite Ernston January 30th, 2011 9:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 6427818)
@Dragonite Ernston: Are you asking for someone to write some Cyrus x Giratina? You do know that there are quite a few ships on that grand shippers' list that don't have fic written for them*. Maybe see if there's even a demand for fic of that ship? I haven't even seen anyone mention it elsewhere, so I don't know how many other people would even think of exploring that ship. But if you start talking about it (like you did now) you might bring someone's attention to it, and they'll start exploring it.

*Baw to no Blazeshipping love.

Well, I've got two people on Bulbagarden hooked on the idea.

Impo January 30th, 2011 9:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 6427818)
@Impo: Yeah, that covers it. Your second spoiler is definitely what I was looking for in terms of back story for the sisters. I like it.

You probably don't want as many puzzles in your story as there are in the game. Really, just have enough to show Layton's skills, and then a few scenes that shows Phoenix's skills. (You'll have to forgive me. I've never played an Ace Attorney game! Only Professor Layton.) That way, there's the basis of what both characters do, and you can use the scenes to have them build respect for one another while solving the mystery.

There's the possibility of using the canon characters' pasts to add to the story. You can always see if there's more to their history that you can use.

But yeah, your post is clear, and I'm liking your story so far.

yay, thank you :)
and you haven't played an Ace Attorney yet :o
bite your tongue ! Go buy it ;)
(and that made me realise i have to describe characters for those who haven't played the series x) )

The story will incude a Magatama, to squeeze the truth out of witnesses and people.
Luke Flora gets one from Pearl in the end.

One problem I'm having, I'm not quite sure how to make the two groups intervene. And how to make them stay as a group. Basically gain their trust. I think I'll do it through puzzle-solving and magatama truth squeezing.

Also, should I let one of the characters do some spirit-channeling? To summon Mia or maybe the Twins Father?

..oh, and here are the characters from the stories I'm going to include;

Professor Layton
Professor Hershel Layton
Luke Triton
Flora Reinhold

Ace Attorney
Pheonix Wright
Maya Fey
Pearl Fey
Miles Edgeworth/Franziska Von Karma
Mia Fey (minor character, channeled)

JX Valentine January 30th, 2011 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonite Ernston (Post 6427845)
Well, I've got two people on Bulbagarden hooked on the idea.

Yeah, but that's Bulbagarden. *shot*

Seriously, though, if you want there to be Cyrus x Giratina, then by all means, write Cyrus x Giratina. We can't really tell you not to go after a pairing, and we can't really help you go for it (in this thread, anyway) if you don't tell us what you want to do with it. After all, this is the plot bunny thread. You kinda have to have an actual plot to help us out with our end here.

As for the pairing itself, sure, there's possibility. There's possibilities for all kinds of hilarity, angst, whatever-floats-your-boat with the shipping in the list. My advice is, though, to just go ahead and post a one-shot to test the waters and figure out how the chemistry between both characters works. Curious shippers might check out your story, and bam. Instant advertising for more one-shots, a longer fic, or the pairing in general.

Dragonite Ernston January 31st, 2011 6:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6427957)
Seriously, though, if you want there to be Cyrus x Giratina, then by all means, write Cyrus x Giratina. We can't really tell you not to go after a pairing, and we can't really help you go for it (in this thread, anyway) if you don't tell us what you want to do with it. After all, this is the plot bunny thread. You kinda have to have an actual plot to help us out with our end here.

Alright. Well, it was supposed to be a one-shot about their experiences in the Distortion World, being the only... well, beings there. And how, you know, after a long enough time spent stuck together by themselves, something would come between them. Perhaps Cyrus gains a heart or something.

Anyway, I am planning on writing something like this myself. I just wondered if anybody else liked the idea.

JX Valentine January 31st, 2011 8:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonite Ernston (Post 6428302)
Alright. Well, it was supposed to be a one-shot about their experiences in the Distortion World, being the only... well, beings there. And how, you know, after a long enough time spent stuck together by themselves, something would come between them. Perhaps Cyrus gains a heart or something.

Anyway, I am planning on writing something like this myself. I just wondered if anybody else liked the idea.

Still sorta vague because it can go either way. You can either have Cyrus just brooding endlessly, or you can do awesome things. (For example, I saw this pairing once on a kink meme. The author had Cyrus transform into Zekrom via Giratina's powers. It was kinda amazing.)

The reason why it's really hard to say whether or not a pairing can work is because the pairing itself doesn't make or break a fic. Sure, it might not be everyone's cuppa. For example, I don't particularly care for the idea of Cyrus and Giratina being in a mutually romantic relationship because I'm not that into Pokémon x human... unless, I guess, one of them is turning into a Zekrom, but hey. It's a similar notion to not everyone being into same-sex pairings. For some people, it wouldn't interest them, no matter how awesome the plot idea was, but that shouldn't really stop you from doing it. After all, when you write a shippy fic, you're not catering to the people who just wouldn't like it because of what they think of interspecies relationships or sexual orientation or whatever. You're catering to the people who would give it a chance, and trust me, there's always going to be people who give pairings like that a chance. Let's face it. If no one gave a crap about that pairing, it wouldn't be on the shipping list in the first place, right?

But back to the point. Pairings don't make or break a fic itself. It's all in what you do with it -- how you handle the plot (if there is one in the case of smut), how you handle the details, and most importantly, how you handle the characters. Namely, treat them as in-character as you can, have them react exactly as they would to a relationship, make the shift in characterization seem natural, that sort of thing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a pairing is not a plot and that every pairing has the potential to be interesting to someone. You just have to take a risk and do something with it, and whether or not it works depends on how you handle the characters and their relationship with each other.

Dragonite Ernston January 31st, 2011 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6428475)
I guess what I'm trying to say is that a pairing is not a plot and that every pairing has the potential to be interesting to someone. You just have to take a risk and do something with it, and whether or not it works depends on how you handle the characters and their relationship with each other.

Ah well. Perhaps I just have the wrong idea of what a plot bunny actually is.

JX Valentine January 31st, 2011 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonite Ernston (Post 6428614)
Ah well. Perhaps I just have the wrong idea of what a plot bunny actually is.

Oh, it's a bit complicated. A plot bunny is basically a story concept. For example, this would be a plot bunny:

"Holy crap! I have this idea about Ash going to get a gallon of milk, but Brock normally buys the milk for the group. So, Ash has no idea how the entire thing works, and shenanigans happen. And I've had it in my head for awhile, and it won't go away."

Notice how the above quote describes what the story is actually about and not just who's involved or what the loose concept is? Basically, a plot bunny is that, particularly if it either refuses to leave your mind or grows into a larger story. (A bunny itself is generally a very loose plot idea. You have the "what happens in this story" part down, but it doesn't have the full shape it would have in a full-fledged story.)

Or, in shorter terms, it's a plot bunny if it answers the question, "What is this story about?" Just having a pairing only answers the question, "Who's in this story?"

Impo January 31st, 2011 9:53 PM

a little more plans with my fanfic,
should i make Phoenix and Layton and they company meet inside the hotel as guests?

my ideas are a couple of posts above, so i don't have to repeat myself

Astinus February 1st, 2011 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6429895)
a little more plans with my fanfic,
should i make Phoenix and Layton and they company meet inside the hotel as guests?

my ideas are a couple of posts above, so i don't have to repeat myself

That'll work. You can pick one team or the other to write about in the beginning. Like, say, Layton and his company are traveling around when they arrive to the town. Looking for a place to stay, they go to the hotel and see Phoenix and his company in the common room. They don't really meet then, but both sides pay attention to one another (since that's what they do). Once the mystery starts, Layton talks to his company to try and figure out what happened. Phoenix and friends overhear him, and the two sides decide to join forces to solve the mystery.

That's how I picture it happening. You might have something different in mind, but to me, this works better and shows what both sides can do.

Impo February 1st, 2011 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 6430571)
That'll work. You can pick one team or the other to write about in the beginning. Like, say, Layton and his company are traveling around when they arrive to the town. Looking for a place to stay, they go to the hotel and see Phoenix and his company in the common room. They don't really meet then, but both sides pay attention to one another (since that's what they do). Once the mystery starts, Layton talks to his company to try and figure out what happened. Phoenix and friends overhear him, and the two sides decide to join forces to solve the mystery.

That's how I picture it happening. You might have something different in mind, but to me, this works better and shows what both sides can do.

i was kinda thinking that while in the hotel Twin A is overcome by Twin B and she takes Flora and Maya (or maybe someone else not in Layton or AA), thinking one of them is her sister.

Then the two parties intervene to help save them both (with a puzzle inbetween) they find Maya and Flora strapped into chairs and Twin B shines a light on them, realizing neither are Twin A, so she runs away and then one more puzzle and they flee from the hotel. (it's about one o'clock, so they try to find somewhere to stay).

They both go to a hotel and stay there (they become friends), then the next morning Pheonix groggily answers his phone, where he finds out he has to defend the woman. The person on the phone (anonymous) states that it's not the girls fault and hangs up. Pheonix takes the job and Layton offers to help him with his case.

Pheonix agrees and they go back to the hotel in the day to investigate.
Some clues they find are;
A diary with different names as entrants;
A photo frame with Twin A and Twin B;
Second Investigation
A phonebook with 'Mum' in it;
The room with the machine;
A safe with the electrical cord used to strangle the father;
"Lady at the funeral words" (where she says a limozine went missing with a coffin in it a day before Twin B's death, the mother returned shortly after with it. Also that the twins death wasn't open casket, which is strange as it is a family tradition of theirs to have it.)

And they find the mothers house and realize that the twins mother killed the father, as what really happened is the mother sold her husbands research and forced him to experiment on the twins. She would say she would murder them as a threat to the father, so he went along with the experiments. The day when Twin B died sent the father insane. When the mother got home she took the father to a mental hospital.

The people at the mental hospital rang and notified the mother that the father had been screaming that: "It wasn't his fault, it was her, she did it!", the mother realised that he meant her and the death of Twin B. So she took her husband out of the mental place for a day and killed him (need to find a way where a clue can be left, i'm thinking she took her back to the place where the experiment took place, strangling him with the cords of the machine). Then on the day before the funeral for the Twin, she took the limozine and placed the body in with Twin B. The funeral took place as planned, no one the wiser.

--

I know i said before the Twin was buried under a false name, but i changed it to she had a funeral, but her father was also placed in the same coffin as her.
I just need some more clues so they don't just take jumps in logic and complete the puzzle with missing pieces.

Bay February 2nd, 2011 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6428640)
"Holy crap! I have this idea about Ash going to get a gallon of milk, but Brock normally buys the milk for the group. So, Ash has no idea how the entire thing works, and shenanigans happen. And I've had it in my head for awhile, and it won't go away."

Dang it Jax, now I want to write a story base on that plot bunny! XD;

But yeah Dragonite Ernston, Jax is right about shipping stories. Plot, details, and the characters are the main things to make sure you're doing it right. One of the main problems shipping fics have is that the characters not being themselves when they're in a relationship. I know when I did my first shipping story (for a different fandom) not long ago, I was pulling my hair over if I did the characters right, oi.

As for your Giratina/Cyrus idea, I'm actually interested over how you're handle the paring. What you have so far is vague, but hey, it's a start! Perhaps you can think of a few situational ideas what would spark the two of them to have an interest with one another (like the Cyrus transform to Zekrom idea Jax mentioned and needs to link me to that kink meme story)?

And Impo, sorry for not responding to your idea. I'm not too familiar with Ace Attorney nor Professor Layton, so I can't help you there. D: I'm sure many people will be interested in that crossover, though!

JX Valentine February 2nd, 2011 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bay Alexison (Post 6432283)
Dang it Jax, now I want to write a story base on that plot bunny! XD;

Oh, please do. XD I'd love to see it myself.

Impo February 2nd, 2011 1:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bay Alexison (Post 6432283)
And Impo, sorry for not responding to your idea. I'm not too familiar with Ace Attorney nor Professor Layton, so I can't help you there. D: I'm sure many people will be interested in that crossover, though!

thats ok :)

i just need to know if it makes sense xD

Otherworld9) February 9th, 2011 6:19 PM

Ideas
 
Well, I got this idea that ain't getting off my head, so I wrote a story on it. I'm unsure wether to post it on the fanfic or not, mostly because I'm a beginner at writing and maybe might need better grammar and such.....but what makes me doubt my writing being read is the fact that is takes place in the digimon world, from a digimon's point a view.

To put it simple, do you think a story of a human that turned into a digimon, not a human for a VERY long time, will be a good idea? I got relatives that like it so far...only a very few though. Any tips or suggestions?

Astinus February 9th, 2011 7:47 PM

There's not much to say without more information on the plot. It would be interesting to see a fic where a human turns into a Digimon, but that's not a lot to go with. If you mention what happens in the rest of your plot, then we can give you more help.

Otherworld9) February 10th, 2011 3:36 AM

DIGIMON
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 6447372)
There's not much to say without more information on the plot. It would be interesting to see a fic where a human turns into a Digimon, but that's not a lot to go with. If you mention what happens in the rest of your plot, then we can give you more help.

Well, I hope you understand it since it involves in digimon, so this is most of it.
Atina woke up being a Lopmon, not knowing why she did nor how or when she did. As she lives/experiences the life of a digimon, then she realizes how fun it actually is, and dangerous.

The plot that drives the story is that when she became a digimon, somehow this affected a sovereign digimon, Zhuquiomon, into madness. Azulongmon, the one of the east and spring, makes his hench men to help her by letting her join to make other digimon not know of her existence and ruin the digital world, yet Zhuquiomon, driven by the sudden madness, wants to capture her via any means necessary.

Theres more, but i'd give away too much. I got more background plots(if you call it like that).

インフェルノの津波 February 15th, 2011 9:56 PM

I need help with my plot
 
I have to make this quick, so I have this basic plot:

A boy in Ecruteak City receives a Pokemon for his birthday, and is pushed out of his comfortable world to traverse the world of Pokemon.

And..that's it. I can't add nothing to it or otherwise I get disappointed in it, or think it doesn't look very good to me, and if I take anything away it seems it's lacking.

So...what should I do?

bobandbill February 16th, 2011 1:26 AM

Merged this with the plot bunny thread as that is what this thread is for - giving advice on story plot ideas. =p

By itself it seems to be a good starting point, and in fact if what you are worried about is whether is interesting enough as-is then it actually can be fine, a simple Pokemon journey story without 'saving the world' or whatnot, as long as the story is well-written, the characters are believable, and so forth.

Anyway, one way to add to a story idea is to consider why or how the world/characters will react to an event. For instance, you mentioned that he 'is pushed out of his comfortable world' - how does the main character respond to the sudden change then? Does he embrace the challenge, or does he somewhat wimp out or fail to for instance set up a tent when he fails to get to the nearest city by nightfall? How would his Pokemon react to him doing so? Try building off points like that - maybe that will help. Check out the 2nd post in this thread as well, maybe something there will help you.

Twiggeus February 19th, 2011 1:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by インフェルノの津波 (Post 6458909)

So...what should I do?

Think of the ending. How do you want it to end? Does the boy's personality change? Does he stay the same? Does something change his life? Stuff like that.

Impo February 20th, 2011 10:20 PM

I have a sequel prepared for my Layton fanfic, just posting it for no reason.
It is based on the city of Atlantis, but takes a different route than the mermaids fable.

Professor Layton and the Sunken City

Professor Layton and Luke are aiding Dr Shrader with his underwater research when they stumble upon the city of Atlantis. They explore and find all the people of the city still in their homes, very peaceful: as if they knew they were going to drown. They also took back some samples of soil back to Dr Shrader, which he announces has some very strange substances in it.
Why did the whole population of this city die, accepting their fate in the process?
How does this strange substance found in the soil relate to this?

Explanation
Spoiler:
Antlantic scientists were busy in a labratory, experimenting with poisons and nuclear waste. By accident and sheer chance, they created a highly contagious (but very slow-activating) poison. The scientists didn't know of their creation, and infected them as they left the laboratory, they infected whoever they passed by. Soon enough, the whole city was infected. There were no known symptoms of this disease, and people only became suspicious when the first scientists died of the illness (which was about three months after the experiment). One surviving scientist, who wasn't present at the experiment, found the error and the virus, realizing everyone was infected.
He alerted everyone in a big meeting, and revealed the only way to neutralize the virus; sea-water. The water's naturally high salt content and vast amount of sea life (which were immune) made the virus completely harmless (the virus also cannot spread underwater). The virus had spread for so long, that every single person and item on the island contained the condition, so the only possible solution of stopping it's growth was sinking the city. One problem has risen though. Sea-water neutralizes the virus, but if anything but earth is taken back above water the virus can return to its' original state. Knowing this, the town nobly sacrificed themselves and the town to rid the world of this virus.

-
I just need to find a plausible way to sink the city


so, critique, comments, please?

Neptune Vasilias February 22nd, 2011 5:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6468674)
I have a sequel prepared for my Layton fanfic, just posting it for no reason.
It is based on the city of Atlantis, but takes a different route than the mermaids fable.

Professor Layton and the Sunken City

Professor Layton and Luke are aiding Dr Shrader with his underwater research when they stumble upon the city of Atlantis. They explore and find all the people of the city still in their homes, very peaceful: as if they knew they were going to drown. They also took back some samples of soil back to Dr Shrader, which he announces has some very strange substances in it.
Why did the whole population of this city die, accepting their fate in the process?
How does this strange substance found in the soil relate to this?

Explanation
Spoiler:
Antlantic scientists were busy in a labratory, experimenting with poisons and nuclear waste. By accident and sheer chance, they created a highly contagious (but very slow-activating) poison. The scientists didn't know of their creation, and infected them as they left the laboratory, they infected whoever they passed by. Soon enough, the whole city was infected. There were no known symptoms of this disease, and people only became suspicious when the first scientists died of the illness (which was about three months after the experiment). One surviving scientist, who wasn't present at the experiment, found the error and the virus, realizing everyone was infected.
He alerted everyone in a big meeting, and revealed the only way to neutralize the virus; sea-water. The water's naturally high salt content and vast amount of sea life (which were immune) made the virus completely harmless (the virus also cannot spread underwater). The virus had spread for so long, that every single person and item on the island contained the condition, so the only possible solution of stopping it's growth was sinking the city. One problem has risen though. Sea-water neutralizes the virus, but if anything but earth is taken back above water the virus can return to its' original state. Knowing this, the town nobly sacrificed themselves and the town to rid the world of this virus.

-
I just need to find a plausible way to sink the city


so, critique, comments, please?

Well, the whole plots seems interesting and I'd love to read. As for your question, I've a question for you too. Do you want the city to be sunk via natural means or the citizens purposely caused their country to sink? If it's the first option, well maybe an earthquake of 8.8 or a deadly tsunami could complete the job. I'm not sure how the people could sink the city, it would take a long long time.

Daughter of Leo February 22nd, 2011 11:00 AM

Opinions on my plot ideas?
 
Hi, I'm kinda new here but I'm trying to start a Pokemon fic.

It's going to be people-based rather than Pokemon-based (so no Pokemorph, Pokemon p.o.v, etc.) and it's going to be femslash, so if you have a problem with that, I guess this is your warning.

My two MCs are:

Jessica, who works for Mr. Fuji in Lavender Town and returns the bones of Pokemon to their original homes so their souls can be reborn. (There is a Pokemon legend saying that when a Pokemon's bones are buried in their 'homeland' or where they were caught, that Pokemon will be reborn.) Jessica doesn't quite believes it but wants it to be true.

Her pokemon are Pidgeot and Furret


Quinn, who I'm not quite sure who she is yet. Originally she was going to be a full fledged Rocket member who trained the incoming Pokemon given to the Grunts. She was going to have the stereotypical 'Don't eff with me' no nonsense personality. Now she's transformed to a druggie who works for Rocket as a kind of messenger girl, who traffics their drugs between Johto and Kanto.

Her personality has mellowed considerably and now is more reserved rather than stoic, with a wry sense of humor. Quinn grew up in Ecruteak City and because of that, she is well versed in Pokemon legends. She ran away from home when she got into the Rocket circle. She only has one Pokemon, a Growlithe.


Since there are no mentions of drugs in Pokemon canon, I have created my own idea of one, from Schuckle Juice. When the juice in a Schuckle's shell matures past being berry juice but isn't quite a rare candy, it can be extracted and used as a hallucinogen (similar to herion). It is known as either Juice, or in it's dried form, Dust. This is what Quinn is addicted to.

Btw, since I only like the first two gens of Pokemon, I'm only using the first to gens.

I wanted to know what people thought of my characters so far (especially Quinn) and my idea of the drug. If you need any extra info, just let me know.

Any comments are appreciated..

Impo February 22nd, 2011 1:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond1304 (Post 6471451)
Well, the whole plots seems interesting and I'd love to read. As for your question, I've a question for you too. Do you want the city to be sunk via natural means or the citizens purposely caused their country to sink? If it's the first option, well maybe an earthquake of 8.8 or a deadly tsunami could complete the job. I'm not sure how the people could sink the city, it would take a long long time.

well, i'm wanting the city to be sunk, but maybe by manipulating natural means or something that sounds... realisticish

bobandbill February 22nd, 2011 5:21 PM

I agree the natural means method would be more realistic, imo.

@ Daughter of Leo - the characters you have there thus far seem to be a decent start. Consider establishing why Quinn became a druggie in your story, I suggest, and also how Mr Fuji can manage to send people to potentially other regions to bury Pokemon (is there a charity, or a network of volunteers, or..?) as those were questions that came to mind for me. The Berry juice idea is neat I feel, and certainly there are a number of different berries out there to take advantage of with that idea as well perhaps, if you so choose. Then you just need to integrate those characters into the plot you have planned. (For the record femslash is not my thing so I doubt I'll have much advice to give in regards to that =p).

Neptune Vasilias February 22nd, 2011 11:50 PM

I'm currently working on a Warriors fanfic and I've gotten most of the characters and plot outline done. Just wondering whether anyone might be slightly interested in the idea of a Warrior Cats fanfiction? I might have a Pokemon fic up in future, but I don't have any outstanding ideas for a plot so i decided to do one for Warriors as I love that book series. XD

Astinus February 23rd, 2011 9:44 PM

I like the Warriors series. I haven't read as many of the books as I would like. (I've only read two. I'm more of a Seekers fan.) You can still post it and see if you can get any interest. And I might still take a look if I'm familiar with any of the characters or ideas.

Neptune Vasilias February 24th, 2011 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 6475600)
I like the Warriors series. I haven't read as many of the books as I would like. (I've only read two. I'm more of a Seekers fan.) You can still post it and see if you can get any interest. And I might still take a look if I'm familiar with any of the characters or ideas.

Umm...well....since I'm doing a fanfic, I'm not exactly using the chraacters from the main series. I'm making up my own clans, characters etc. So it's sorta a new clean version. Anyone, even those who've never read the real fic before can still read through it. xD

Pika-power February 25th, 2011 5:35 PM

I have a fanfic idea:

It is the year 100{the people of Hoenn have re-recorded dates after the takeover} and Team Magma has dominance over the entire planet. Its biggest competitor, Team Aqua, has been defeated. In the bloody war between the two teams, all pokemon have become extinct. The main charecter is a magma grunt convinced of the noble ways of Team magma. In time, however, he begins to notice the rise of the Underground, a rebellion against Magma. He begins to notice the bad things he is doing, and is determined to bring down Magma.

Astinus February 25th, 2011 7:18 PM

It just seems funny that you're planning on writing a Pokemon fic when your plot could just be original fiction, and nothing is lost.

I mean, the idea is interesting, but you're really going to have to work to show how the world has changed without a massive chunk of the world's species. Pokemon make up the whole of the planet. They're what humans have centered their lives around, so if Magma/Aqua killed all the Pokemon, there's going to be some serious repercussions. The whole world's going to change.

It's just... It seems weird to want to write this using the Pokemon world and its characters when you're taking away the biggest part of the franchise. The plot idea you have, given the information that you gave, just seems better suited as original fiction unless you bring back the Pokemon into the world.

Pika-power February 26th, 2011 5:27 AM

No, actually, Team aqua's biggest weapon against magma is that they secretly saved 4 pokemon from the bloody fighting, and they are using them against the evil Power of magma.

I won't completely take away pokemon, I promise.

Neptune Vasilias February 28th, 2011 5:17 AM

Ok, regarding my Warriors fanfic, I might be writing up a second book as a sequel to he first one so should I compile the books altogether in the same thread or have a individual thread for each book. There's probably about 20 chapters in a book, I'll probably won't go more than 24 or 25. I might consider posting a sequel if my fanfic gets alot of audience and feedback and if people tell me to. XD

FlameEntei March 27th, 2011 6:50 AM

My home country in the Pokemon world
 
Just to exercise my brain and writing muscles I have decided to write a fanfic where Ash and Co. visits my home country of Singapore.

I am using the cast of BW season in Pokemon.

Basically Ash travels to an island nation known as Entepore. Odd things happen to Ash and Co. once they land on this island whose people speak Singlish and end with "lahs".etc

Also laws that oppress Pokemon-related activities are abound in this island just as strict laws with big penalties exist in real world Singapore.

However as the 3 part series goes on, Ash and his new friend discovers that there is more than meets the eye with laws that defied those used by the Pokemon Association.

The Plot is still being concocted.

I wonder if I am going to write this in 3rd person in the point of view of a minor Character who comes in contact with Ash. Or maybe from Ash's point of view.

Beechlgz March 31st, 2011 2:37 AM

Original story idea... your thoughts?
 
I was having a really long dream last night and I thought "I cannot waste this because it's such an interesting story idea". Please tell me would you read a story like this? I'm not sure if I'm going to write it or not because it's a difficult feat for me. I don't mind if someone else gives it a bash, but bear in mind if you do I might also attempt it too.

Quote:

main character:

Male, teenager, living alone, final year at high school. The high school is a dump. His education is pretty bad, and he's going to leave with no prospects for his future. He lives alone because he got sick of his drug-abusing parents, and now lives in an abandoned warehouse where he has collected furnishings, a fire, etc.

Lives in a rough neighbourhood, almost pre-apocalyptic. Very dangerous. Police are corrupt criminals. Hospitals are too - they will treat you, but then you will be in debt to them and they will seize all of your assets to cover the cost of the treatment. If you don't have any, they won't even look at you (or if they've already treated you they'll have you thrown in prison).

Our male protagonist is annoyed by the Japanese trio who lark about in class, causing mischeif. A group of high energy teenage boys who are loud, boistrous, fight and play a lot, and generally see life as one big game. Protagonist can't stand them. Protagonist only really sees the serious side of life, worrying about how he will support himself.

These are the 3 Japanese guys: A tough-guy jolly character with a shaven head and tattoos, a calm, caring type character with long black fuzzy hair, and a slightly quiet character with an emo hair cut (shaven at the sides, long and dangly from the top with red streaks). But all 3 have personality traits in common: happy, non-serious, boistrous, etc, surprising since they're living in poverty.

Walking back from school, past the slums (which he hates passing due to safety risk), our protagonist is caught in stray gunfire, with a bullet crossing through his frontal lobe. The Japanese trio catch sight of this as protagonist crashes to the ground.

For a moment there is no movement, then protagonist finally stirs, before sitting up, swaying and clutching his bleeding head. The trio go to his aide, amazed and impressed that he even survived, never mind that fact he got back up. Since going to hospital is financially risky and could land them in prison, the trio take him to their home and treat him with home remedies.

All the trio have is a single shop in a run-down neighbourhood which doubles for them as a home. It seems to sell second-hand home electronics, but is doing poorly, full of only bits and pieces and no regular stock, and hasn't made a sale in a long time. Very unprofessional. It used to belong to their parents, but nothing is said about what happened to them. Our protagonist recovers here until his wounds begin to heal. It's touch-and-go, though. He risks severe infection.

When he is up and about after a couple of weeks he seems a different person, more child-like and innocent and less serious. He seems to be re-learning things and seems to have suffered some brain damage. He doesn't talk at first, even when spoken to he just stares back seemingly confused. His memories do start to come back including his ability to speak, but his personality is permanently altered due to the permanent damage to his frontal lobe. He starts to be less serious and more fun-loving, like the Japanese trio.

They teach him their ways of living, of being free and happy even in the face of poverty and oppression. Protagonist has forgotten about all the worries he used to practically get sick over from stress when he lived alone.

Their idea of fun is getting into fights with each other, running around, stirring some light-hearted trouble (with those who oppress others and the fat-cats), getting drunk, etc. Something at the back of protagonist's mind keeps telling him "this is wrong, I shouldn't be doing this, these people aren't good for me" but it's not clear enough.

One time during the day when they're messing around together and it's hot out, tumbling around on the concrete and kicking a ball with some of the local kids, having a few beers, etc generally a lazy day, protagonist starts to feel dizzy, faint and distant and walks into the underpass for some shade. Very suddenly and unexpectedly he collapses to the ground. Long-hair fuzzy guy runs over while the others haven't noticed yet and turn protagonist's head round so he can see his eyes asking him over and over if he's okay.

Protagonist seems to be staring into nothingness and not responding to anything, only blinking occasionally. Then he starts to fit and foam, causing long-hair fuzzy guy to exclaim something in Japanese. He runs up, leaving protagonist to fit, (clearly not thinking straight due to panic because he shouldn't leave him alone).

Long-hair guy insists to the other guys on an ambulance when they realise protagonist is bleeding heavily from the nose too, even though it means they will need to hand over their shop to pay for the expensive treatment and end up homeless. It's a risk they end up taking, and the paramedics arrive not long after protagonist has stopped fitting and is conscious again. The paramedics just give him some drugs to prevent any future fits, since they have assessed that the guys don't have enough between them to cover any major treatment, they'd need to do scans on him in hospital and stuff to find the exact cause. They squalid little shop wouldn't cover it, they're already going to have to give up their stock to pay for the drugs.

Protagonist seems to be in a bad way, lying on a futon in the back room of the shop, not recognising anyone. He sees lots of people in the room who simply are not there, maybe people from his childhood. He keeps seeing seahorses. He also seems to have a temperature and is sweating a lot. His friends suspect that there's more to these drugs than meets the eye, and decide not to give protagonist any more.

So, I'm thinking later in the story they manage to find an actual proper doctor to come and have a look at him, maybe one who is sympathetic to the needs of the poor, or maybe one of the group get involved with something more dangerous, such as finding a doctor who is involved in an organised gang and who he can do illegal grunt work for in return for treatement and hospital access. Not sure about this. But they do eventually find a doctor who discovers it's the fact he was shot in the head that is causing this to happen to him. Swelling, heat, infection and restriction, causing burst veins and impaired brain activity. Requires surgery to remove the bullet, as well as long and costly treatment to fight the infection, with no guarantee of success.

The gang involved with the doctor need somebody to do something for them, knowing that the job is too dangerous (maybe something that will involve death, or something that will involve imprisonment, basically they need to use someone as a figurative human shield) and now the boys are in a difficult situation because the gang want to use one of them. In return they will treat their freind, but should they refuse, they will kill him.

So we see the boy's happy-go-lucky nature slowly dwindle away. I'm not sure how it might end. I haven't decided yet.
What are your thoughts?

If you're curious this is the dream that inspired it:

Quote:

Some guy who lives alone is shot in a classroom in the forehead (should have killed him instantly) three times, and amazingly gets back up and sits forward. The Japanese trio in the class (who the main character hates) are amazed and think its totally the coolest thing they've ever seen and take him in as their new fourth friend. Why the guy doesn't get medical care, I don't know.

So, the Japanese trio live in what was once a shop in a slummy area (maybe the whole city is like that) and take their new friend there to let him recover. All is well. Main character has a new lease of life and starts to take things a bit more lightly, realising he almost died in misery. He starts having some fun for once. His wounds heal and he seems a different person... maybe because he just had a partial lobotomy!

There are 3 of the Japanese guys: A tough-guy jolly character with a shaven head and tattoos, a calm, caring type character with long black fuzzy hair, and a quiet, emo-ish type character with an emo hair cut (shaven at the sides, long and dangly from the top with red streaks). But all 3 have personality traits in common: happy, non-serious, boistrous, etc, surprising ince they're living in poverty.

However, suddenly out of nowhere the Japanese guys' new friend takes a sudden down-turn, collapses out of the blue, and starts to take fits, while not recognising anyone or anything, and not responding to stimuli (sometimes staring into space, or shaking violently). Long-hair guy freaks out and starts shouting something in Japanese before shouting for an ambulance.

The guy who was shot, now the one having fallen ill (this is long after his wounds are fully healed over), is visited by paramedics who, being from such a run-down slummy city, don't take him into hospital but instead just give him lots of drugs to stop his fitting, especially since he has no money.

Later, somehow, they get a doctor in (who? How? Why? I don't know) who is in amazement that this guy survived from gunshots to the head, and explains that's probably what's causing the fits and loss of awareness and personality. Meanwhile, the guy is having hallucinations that his 3 friends are seahorses floating around the room (and thinks this is totally normal), before they actually enter the room, and is also hallucinating lots of other people in the room who aren't there, maybe people from his past.

Then the dream switches to a woman going into a Channel 4 News station for a job interview. She heads up the building until she reaches the office of the woman who will be taking her interview, only to discover the interviewer has gone completely mad.

bobandbill March 31st, 2011 3:07 AM

Going to move this to the Plot Bunny thread sticky - this is what that thread is for after all. =p

Beechlgz March 31st, 2011 3:16 AM

Plot bunny... what is this I don't even

Just read it. I didn't realise this was for story ideas, maybe you should change the thread title? Plot bunny just sounds like, I dunno, weird. Like some sort of story title.

bobandbill March 31st, 2011 4:08 AM

Maybe it's not clear for people who have never heard of it but it seems to be a pretty common term for 'story idea' as far as I know. At any rate the thread is explained in the first post anyways.

Beechlgz March 31st, 2011 4:20 AM

Yeah I know in my last post I said I had just read it, but what I was suggesting was making the title more obvious because before now it really didn't occur to me that the thread was for plot ideas. I'm afraid in all my time writing fanfics and stories I have never encountered the term plot bunny. As I say I thought it was some story title or fanfiction or a club or something so I really had no incentive to check it out. It's just a suggestion to prevent any further confusion. Maybe type in brackets next to the title (plot ideas go here) or something.

Hope I could be of help.

JX Valentine March 31st, 2011 8:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beechlgz (Post 6546345)
Yeah I know in my last post I said I had just read it, but what I was suggesting was making the title more obvious because before now it really didn't occur to me that the thread was for plot ideas. I'm afraid in all my time writing fanfics and stories I have never encountered the term plot bunny. As I say I thought it was some story title or fanfiction or a club or something so I really had no incentive to check it out. It's just a suggestion to prevent any further confusion. Maybe type in brackets next to the title (plot ideas go here) or something.

Hope I could be of help.

Tip: Google writing terms you're not familiar with. Sometimes, you're going to encounter jargon like "Mary Sue" or "plot bunny," and bluntly put, these are extremely common terms that a lot of people have already encountered, sorry to say. The term "plot bunny" is even common in original fiction.

Not only that, but it's a customary procedure to skim (at the very least) the stickies of a forum before interacting on it because of the potential that one of them might contain vital information for interacting on the board.

As for your idea, you're basically telling us the entire story right off the bat, and I'd just like to say this isn't the best practice to have. Not because someone might tl;dr your idea proposal (although you also have that as a risk) but more because if you tell us most of the story, we'll probably go into your fic thinking we've already read this stuff.

But on to the concept itself, I had the feeling that it was a bit all over the place. Just to make sure I've got it down correctly, let me recap what you're saying.

1. Main character is technically a homeless squatter who sounds like he's orphaned. Sort of makes me wonder about the social programs in that country (because if he's under the age of eighteen in most countries, he'd probably be put in a home of one sort or another by the state).

2. Group of boisterous Japanese guys are involved. It shouldn't be surprising that they're poor, however. Not everyone who's living in poverty is angst-ridden. (In fact, sometimes, the more common outlook on life in that situation -- in some countries, at least -- is to be happy and carefree about it because you realize you're in a situation where your only option is to make the best of what you have.) I'm pointing this out because I'd like to warn you against falling into stereotypes and clichés involving your characters.

3. The main character is shot through the head, and the bullet passes through the brain. At this point, I'd like to recommend highly doing some Google research because, first and foremost, you probably wouldn't get back up from a head injury that severe. Second, the general head area contains one of the highest (if not the highest) concentration of blood vessels in the human body. A cut in your scalp the size of a dime can result in enough blood loss to send you into shock (shock = not good). Then, a brain injury needs some serious medical treatment right away, even if you're probably not going to recover fully from brain damage. I mean, just thinking about the infections and the swelling and the risk of death isn't pretty. (Think of it like this. Go look up Gabrielle Giffords. She had a very similar injury -- shot to the head that passed through part of her brain -- and, well, she was considered lucky that she could still talk. The news stories about the assassination attempt on her, as grim as they are, might be able to give you some insight as to how much of an impact a head wound can have on a person.)

4. As a side note, it wouldn't be expensive for the bystanders to send this guy to a hospital. It'd just be expensive for the protagonist. And even then, in a number of countries, once the hospital realizes he can't pay, there's probably government programs that could help him.

5. I'm also a little surprised that there doesn't seem to be much of a direction towards finding out who shot him and why. It might've been an accident, sure, but I'm just saying don't treat it like a convenient plot point.

6. The frontal lobe doesn't just control memories and personality. It also controls things like motor functions (which means that the main character will have trouble doing things like walking, writing, and other extremely basic skills) and judgment (meaning the character will no longer be able to figure out right from wrong or decide what's best in a social situation). Moreover, brain damage -- especially untreated -- can leave some permanent effects, so if that character doesn't head to a hospital and still somehow survives (keeping in mind that it's the swelling around the brain that's usually the dangerous part, not the initial injury), it's not very likely that he'll function properly.

And yes, the brain swelling usually happens pretty quickly (at least, in comparison with the timeline you're setting up, which seems to imply that the kid's able to get back on his feet and spend enough time to learn the gang's way of life). That's why hospitals tend to rush all over the place in order to treat a brain injury.

In short, while the baseline (a bunch of guys watching as their friend is slowly slipping away) is a pretty interesting concept, you'll really want to go back and make friends with Google before proceeding. Some of the stuff you're covering (like the timeline between the character getting shot and the character getting sent to the hospital) might be pretty vital to the way your plot works.

Beechlgz March 31st, 2011 12:23 PM

I'll answer inside the quote in bold because it takes a long time to make multiple quotes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6546649)
Tip: Google writing terms you're not familiar with. Sometimes, you're going to encounter jargon like "Mary Sue" or "plot bunny," and bluntly put, these are extremely common terms that a lot of people have already encountered, sorry to say. The term "plot bunny" is even common in original fiction.

Not only that, but it's a customary procedure to skim (at the very least) the stickies of a forum before interacting on it because of the potential that one of them might contain vital information for interacting on the board.

Sorry I didn't know this. I actually used to think that they were just optional info, unless it specifically said "read here first". I didn't realise that regular stickies could have vital info to the board too. It seems I'm not familiar with customs and stuff here.

As for your idea, you're basically telling us the entire story right off the bat, and I'd just like to say this isn't the best practice to have. Not because someone might tl;dr your idea proposal (although you also have that as a risk) but more because if you tell us most of the story, we'll probably go into your fic thinking we've already read this stuff.

Well actually all I've given you is an incomplete summary actually, and haven't even decided on how it will end so don't worry about that.

But on to the concept itself, I had the feeling that it was a bit all over the place. Just to make sure I've got it down correctly, let me recap what you're saying.

1. Main character is technically a homeless squatter who sounds like he's orphaned. Sort of makes me wonder about the social programs in that country (because if he's under the age of eighteen in most countries, he'd probably be put in a home of one sort or another by the state).

I should probably have clarified that this is a fictional world. It's not any city or country that exists in our world with a very different system. Pretty much a total lack of social programs (although it used to have them). But I've already decided to change that aspect of his character to instead living with his parents, but they're the type that wouldn't even notice he was gone for days (I have known of some parents who were like this).

2. Group of boisterous Japanese guys are involved. It shouldn't be surprising that they're poor, however. Not everyone who's living in poverty is angst-ridden. (In fact, sometimes, the more common outlook on life in that situation -- in some countries, at least -- is to be happy and carefree about it because you realize you're in a situation where your only option is to make the best of what you have.) I'm pointing this out because I'd like to warn you against falling into stereotypes and clichés involving your characters.

Again, I probably explained it poorly. It was supposed to be surprising to the protagonist more, not so much the reader. He can't understand why they're able to be happy because he's such a misery-guts. It's more to convey the protagonist's character than anything else, but as I said in note form it might not have been very clear.

3. The main character is shot through the head, and the bullet passes through the brain. At this point, I'd like to recommend highly doing some Google research because, first and foremost, you probably wouldn't get back up from a head injury that severe. Second, the general head area contains one of the highest (if not the highest) concentration of blood vessels in the human body. A cut in your scalp the size of a dime can result in enough blood loss to send you into shock (shock = not good). Then, a brain injury needs some serious medical treatment right away, even if you're probably not going to recover fully from brain damage. I mean, just thinking about the infections and the swelling and the risk of death isn't pretty. (Think of it like this. Go look up Gabrielle Giffords. She had a very similar injury -- shot to the head that passed through part of her brain -- and, well, she was considered lucky that she could still talk. The news stories about the assassination attempt on her, as grim as they are, might be able to give you some insight as to how much of an impact a head wound can have on a person.)

Well, I thought I'd put it down already but maybe, as I say, I didn't make it all that clear or maybe I forgot. The point is that it's supposed to be unbelievable. Like "no way that just happened" kind of unbelievable. It's what's supposed to be so surprising about it. In the dream I had the guy's head lit up and blood didn't really pour out for some reason (just leaked), and everyone was shocked that he even lived. I'd hope to expand on this when I come up with an idea for it.

4. As a side note, it wouldn't be expensive for the bystanders to send this guy to a hospital. It'd just be expensive for the protagonist. And even then, in a number of countries, once the hospital realizes he can't pay, there's probably government programs that could help him.

Point was the bystanders were looking out for a fellow human being. They'd know he would be in trouble because he's a classmate and they know he's poor, and because in this place there aren't any government programs to help him. In the dream the bystanders knew the bullets went inside, but in the story it might be better if they thought it just skiffed him.

5. I'm also a little surprised that there doesn't seem to be much of a direction towards finding out who shot him and why. It might've been an accident, sure, but I'm just saying don't treat it like a convenient plot point.

Thanks for pointing it out I'll have a think about that. If there's anything else please let me know because as I say, it's still very incomplete so far and there's still a lot I need to cover.

6. The frontal lobe doesn't just control memories and personality. It also controls things like motor functions (which means that the main character will have trouble doing things like walking, writing, and other extremely basic skills) and judgment (meaning the character will no longer be able to figure out right from wrong or decide what's best in a social situation). Moreover, brain damage -- especially untreated -- can leave some permanent effects, so if that character doesn't head to a hospital and still somehow survives (keeping in mind that it's the swelling around the brain that's usually the dangerous part, not the initial injury), it's not very likely that he'll function properly.

And yes, the brain swelling usually happens pretty quickly (at least, in comparison with the timeline you're setting up, which seems to imply that the kid's able to get back on his feet and spend enough time to learn the gang's way of life). That's why hospitals tend to rush all over the place in order to treat a brain injury.

See previous note about it supposed to be being unbelievable.

In short, while the baseline (a bunch of guys watching as their friend is slowly slipping away) is a pretty interesting concept, you'll really want to go back and make friends with Google before proceeding. Some of the stuff you're covering (like the timeline between the character getting shot and the character getting sent to the hospital) might be pretty vital to the way your plot works.

Thanks you've given me a lot to think about and there is a lot to improve on the plot summary. But you gotta admit it was a really cool idea for just being based off a dream? I mean it's pretty awesome if you consider that. Like something that should never happen happens. I guess it was more hair-raising in the dream itself, seeing that guy get back up after what happened (because I do realise that it's impossible, lol, I'm not daft).


SeleneHime March 31st, 2011 1:45 PM

Hmm ... Penny for your thought.

In all sorts of pokemon canon, we see characters with both natural and unusual hair colors that seem to come about through nature (Bugsy, Karen, Ardos, etc). Would you believe it all right to transfer that into fiction, especially mainly OCs, or do you prefer to use real-world hair colors on no uncertain terms?

Just something I've been tossing about while working on my original region.

JX Valentine March 31st, 2011 2:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beechlgz (Post 6547167)
Sorry I didn't know this. I actually used to think that they were just optional info, unless it specifically said "read here first". I didn't realise that regular stickies could have vital info to the board too. It seems I'm not familiar with customs and stuff here.

Yeah, this is a generally good rule of thumb to keep in mind: that the stickies are generally worth looking over because they usually contain important information of one sort or another. That's why they're stickies, after all: to separate them from the other threads (the ones that are actually optional) and to highlight that they're probably a good idea to look over. This is pretty much true anywhere you go, even on SPPf (where I've also seen you hang around).

Quote:

Well actually all I've given you is an incomplete summary actually, and haven't even decided on how it will end so don't worry about that.
Nonetheless, it's how incomplete it is that's the cause of worry here to be honest. Like, if this was the first 50% of the story, we might be a little put-off by the story itself. Emphasis on might. I mean, if this was pretty skeletal for the first 50%, it still might not be too much of a turn-off and all, but.

Quote:

I should probably have clarified that this is a fictional world. It's not any city or country that exists in our world with a very different system. Pretty much a total lack of social programs (although it used to have them).
*le nod* Yeah, definitely keep in mind that whenever you ask for opinions on your plot ideas, you'll want to provide any and all information that would allow people besides you to understand what's going on. I know that sounds really condescending, but I seriously don't mean it like that. I'm just saying this to help you figure out how these kinds of threads tend to work. Just remember that everyone else isn't you, so we'll need as much information as possible when you ask us these kinds of questions because we just don't know the kind of world as well as you do. I'd suggest putting pretty important information (like a brief summary of what the world is like, considering it's original fiction) behind a spoiler cut to keep your length under control.

That being said, I can understand a lack of social programs in that case, sure. The parents thing could work as well, and it probably would work better than just having him be homeless. After all, giving him a family not only offers up a background (and maybe some free characterization by allowing us to see how he interacts with his family members) but also explains why he's in school instead of scrounging around for food. Or, for that matter, how he can afford school if he's a homeless squatter. (In areas where a public school option isn't provided by the government, there's usually only privately run schools as an alternative. As in, the state doesn't run them, but a church or separate organization does. Which probably means there'd be tuition involved and whatnot. Family explains that away by giving the character a source of support.)

Quote:

Again, I probably explained it poorly. It was supposed to be surprising to the protagonist more, not so much the reader. He can't understand why they're able to be happy because he's such a misery-guts. It's more to convey the protagonist's character than anything else, but as I said in note form it might not have been very clear.
Fair enough there. Personally, I like the way you're building up the main character, and considering that his outlook is that grim, it'll be satisfying to see karma kick his tail. I do have to say, in general, that your characterization is one of your strongest points, so I'm sure it'll be fun to see how you treat his personality roller-coaster (i.e., how he goes from a pessimist to a happy-go-lucky kid to... well catatonia, but hey).

Quote:

The point is that it's supposed to be unbelievable. Like "no way that just happened" kind of unbelievable. It's what's supposed to be so surprising about it. In the dream I had the guy's head lit up and blood didn't really pour out for some reason (just leaked), and everyone was shocked that he even lived. I'd hope to expand on this when I come up with an idea for it.
When you go to write this idea, unless you're outright writing a fantasy or something along those lines, you'll probably have people who will be asking these questions anyway. This goes especially for the fact that he's just shrugging off a head injury because that could be a sign that he's a godmodding Gary Stu. (That is to say, he ignores the laws of science just because he needs to be awesome.) It will probably leave a bad taste in a reader's mouth, just because it's really hard to take a fic seriously when a character suddenly has godly abilities (like one that allows him to ignore serious injuries) for no apparent reason besides "it looks cool."

That and you've got a lot of potential for drama (the good kind) if you treat the wound realistically or introduce the fact that this is a fantasy world. For the first idea, it means that the wound gets treated, and the three guys suddenly find themselves responsible for a kid who's got some serious mental issues as a result. For the second, it means you make the readers wonder just what this kid is and if there's more of him. Right now, it feels like you're not really doing either (in that you're not creating a real fantasy world and you're not really treating it realistically), so it just feels like it has the potential of ending up as an awkward moment of Gary Stuing.

Quote:

Point was the bystanders were looking out for a fellow human being.
So... despite the lack of social programs, why did they think it was a good idea not to get help of any kind? I mean, even the cops, considering he was just shot at. Or even a doctor, considering they eventually found one who would help him anyway? I mean, why didn't they just do the whole "go find a professional" thing to begin with instead of wait until he was foaming at the mouth and bleeding all over the place? After all, he clearly had a head wound (because in order to injure the frontal lobe, I'm pretty sure there's no possible wound that you could inflict that looks like the person was grazed instead), and he collapsed. Wouldn't that trip any mental alarms for them?

Just trying to figure this one out because it's probably going to be your biggest plot point, looks like.

Quote:

See previous note about it supposed to be being unbelievable.
My point about the frontal lobe wasn't just a point about believability. It was a point about what to do with your story thereafter. Put it this way. If you rely on the idea that this is supposed to be unbelievable, you're passing up a lot of potential plot points. There's a lot of drama that could be added to your story and a lot of obstacles that your character could overcome built into the injury you chose to give him. If you choose to give him an injury this serious but refuse to go into the full spectrum of implications that it carries (that is, what it means for him if you decide to give him those obstacles or what it means for him if they're just not present -- the latter on a particularly detailed level for reasons I'll explain in a moment), it's not going to come off as awesome. It's going to come off as, frankly put, a little boring, and an intelligent reader will pick up on the idea that something is missing.

Now, I mentioned earlier something about implications in the consequences just not being there. What I mean by that is right now, it seems like you're focusing a lot on the character not being happy-go-lucky, on his relationship with the gang, on the gang's struggle to pay the doctor, and all kinds of side points. However, you want the nature of the character's wound to go against the laws of reality. If you shrug off science, your readers are going to look at your character and write him off as a Gary Stu, as I've mentioned paragraphs ago. However, if you mention that science just doesn't apply here, you really have to go into detail as to why, especially if the other characters realize that this isn't normal. It probably says a lot about the protagonist himself, and in general, you're going to have to be prepared to explore all the reasons why this is special. Is he a zombie? God? Fairy? Vampire? Alien? Something else? Whatever he is, it's going to open the door for the gang to a world beyond what they're used to, so, yeah, it's going to be a little important.

Short of it is, don't just shrug off science just because you want this to be trippy and cool. In prose, everything happens for a reason. Be prepared to back up your plot points, and don't introduce something major unless you're willing to explore the full impact of that something on the cast. In other words, if you want the story to focus more on the character interaction instead of the character's injury, don't give the protagonist a serious injury. If you do want the injury to be massively important, don't set it aside for the character interactions and then go back to the injury later on in the story as if it's an afterthought.

Quote:

Thanks you've given me a lot to think about and there is a lot to improve on the plot summary.
No problem. Good luck with everything, and I hope this reply helps you develop it a bit further.

Quote:

But you gotta admit it was a really cool idea for just being based off a dream?
Tip: Don't tell a plot reviewer that they should think your idea is cool. It comes off odd.

With that being said, there's a couple of things you have to keep in mind about dreams:

1. What happens in them inherently doesn't make much sense. That's why translating them into writing (or even a visual medium) in a way that makes sense to anyone but you is extremely difficult. It's also why you'll need to make it clear whether or not you mean for it to be fantasy when you go to write it. (Basically, it circles back to what I said about fantastical fiction versus realistic fiction in the paragraphs above this.) If it's not meant to be a fantasy, it's your job as a writer to take that dream and reshape it to make some of the surreal elements be a little easier for the reader to buy. This isn't an issue of whether or not you're allowed to make something unbelievable. It's more of an issue of simply making things make sense to people besides you.

2. Dreams have special meaning to the people who have them. For example, bluntly put, that dream you had seems rather tame compared to most of what goes on in my head while I sleep, but I'm sure that if I told you about some of mine, you'd probably think they're rather stupid. (No, really. Even I can see how anyone but me would think some of my dreams are rather stupid, but they still affect me because I'm pretty sure my brain is smoking weed when I'm not looking.) The reason why is because each of our dreams contain symbols and extracts of our psyche to make them basically be movies custom-made for our brains.

To make it a bit clearer, imagine a magical bread. The first person who touches it decides what that bread will taste like because the magic knows what that person likes the most. So, the first person touches it, and the bread suddenly tastes like anchovies. Now, the first person is thrilled because HOLY CRAP ANCHOVIES THE BREAD KNOWS MEEEE, but anyone else who takes a slice goes, "What the crap did I just eat." This is because the magic is in the person's mind. I swear this wasn't just an excuse for a convoluted analogy, but the point is it's awesome to you because it's your dream. To everyone else, it could go either way.

To me, personally? The fact that it was based on a dream doesn't really affect me that much because of point the third:

3. A lot of people write stories based on dreams. There's Coleridge's "Kubla Khan." The famous Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Stephen King doesn't remember writing Cujo. (Although would that really count?) Lovecraft, of course.

And, of course, a lot of fic writers. There's actually a plot bunny in my head that's based on one, although I don't directly lift it from what happened in said dream. I'm also certain that I'm not the only one who wrote fic based on a dream, but I'm honestly too lazy to look up who might have as well.

Point is... eh. *shrug* Honestly, it really doesn't matter to me whether or not it's a dream, sorry to be blunt about it. It's what you do with it that's more important anyway.

Edit:

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeleneHime (Post 6547361)
Hmm ... Penny for your thought.

In all sorts of pokemon canon, we see characters with both natural and unusual hair colors that seem to come about through nature (Bugsy, Karen, Ardos, etc). Would you believe it all right to transfer that into fiction, especially mainly OCs, or do you prefer to use real-world hair colors on no uncertain terms?

Just something I've been tossing about while working on my original region.

Side note: Not to mini-mod or anything, but it's perfectly okay to ask these questions in separate threads.

Actually, is it at all clear what a plot bunny is in the first post? To quickly define it (if it isn't because I know sometimes bullet point lists might skip information and whatnot), a plot bunny is a plot idea. Concept. Summary of a potential story you're writing. Something like that. It's not a particular detail in the story, and it's not a blow-by-blow summary of everything that happens in it (for the purposes of this thread anyway). It's just a summary of what you plan on doing with all the information we need to get it (in order to help you) without getting spoiled.

That being said, at the risk of sounding biting (and I apologize for that), yes, it's okay to have a character who's pink/purple/green/blue/whatever-hair-colored. There's only two ways where it's not okay:

1. If you proceed to turn that character into a Mary Sue by having her be a vortex of implausible happenings (i.e., have her say, "screw the rules; I'm awesome").
2. If you focus too much on the character's hair color. (Brief mentioning is okay. Paragraphs and repeated references to this color are not unless it's for some reason part of the plot.)

SeleneHime April 1st, 2011 8:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6547426)
Edit:
Side note: Not to mini-mod or anything, but it's perfectly okay to ask these questions in separate threads.

Actually, is it at all clear what a plot bunny is in the first post? To quickly define it (if it isn't because I know sometimes bullet point lists might skip information and whatnot), a plot bunny is a plot idea. Concept. Summary of a potential story you're ducking. Something like that. It's not a particular detail in the story, and it's not a blow-by-blow summary of everything that happens in it (for the purposes of this thread anyway). It's just a summary of what you plan on doing with all the information we need to get it (in order to help you) without getting spoiled.

That being said, at the risk of sounding biting (and I apologize for that), yes, it's okay to have a character what's pink/purple/green/blue/whatever-hair-colored. There's only two ways when it's not okay:

1. If you proceed to turn that character into a Mary Sue by having her be a vortex of implausible happenings (i.e., have her say, "screw the rules; I'm awesome").
2. If you focus too much on the character's hair color. (Brief mentioning is okay. Paragraphs and repeated references to this color are not unless it's for some reason part of the plot.)

I do realize what a plot bunny is, and mine breed like the real things. However, I didn't think it was worth creating an entire thread for one off-the-wall question on opinions. My apologies, though, for posting in this one then.

*Chuckles.* Well, no worries of the numbered options. The closest that could even happen to number1 would be Cecilia (though in this case, it'd be unusual eye colors; though lilac is hereditary in her family as well as being a genetic throwback) having her own amateur powers as a psychic backfire on her without even trying to use them. Nothing like having your senses omitted, eh?

But, yeah. I was mainly just asking out of curiosity.

JX Valentine April 1st, 2011 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeleneHime (Post 6549167)
I do realize what a plot Buneary is, and mine breed like the real things. However, I didn't think it was worth creating an entire thread for one off-the-wall question on opinions.

Just tip for wherever you go: it's best to create new threads for any subject that isn't already covered by ancrazy thread. If it's not a plot Buneary, for example, you don't want to put it in a plot Buneary thread, even if it's a minor question. Besides the fact that it could potentially create more work for the mods (what with separating topics into their own threads -- see note below), it sometimes makes the vets look at you sideways.

Moreover, this kind of question could actually elicit a full hotel room. I mean, despite placement, it's actually a good question because there's different opinions on whether or not this kind of thing would automatically trip Sue alarms, and people's definitions for Sues tend to be widely different from one ancrazy because it's that kind of thing that's more along the lines of "you know it when you see it."

Just as a heads up for next time, really.

But yeah, if you don't have a Sue, you really don't have much to worry about.

SeleneHime April 2nd, 2011 7:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6549510)
Moreover, this kind of question could actually elicit a full hotel room. I mean, despite placement, it's actually a good question because there's different opinions on whether or not this kind of thing would automatically trip Sue alarms, and people's definitions for Sues tend to be widely different from one ancrazy because it's that kind of thing that's more along the lines of "you know it when you see it."

Just as a heads up for next time, really.

But yeah, if you don't have a Sue, you really don't have much to worry about.

Mmm. Well, I suppose I could make a thread specifically for this question. But, I do have a rather valid question relating to plot bunaries now. According to a friend that has and beaten Pokemon Black/White, about a third (timewise) of my plotline for my original region now mirrors canon with the release of GenV. I certainly don't want to have to trash that part of my plot, but I also don't want it to be seen as a cheap ripoff.

JX Valentine April 2nd, 2011 8:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeleneHime (Post 6551079)
Mmm. Well, I suppose I could make a thread specifically for this question. But, I do have a rather valid question relating to plot bunaries now. According to a friend that has and beaten Pokemon Black/White, about a third (timewise) of my plotline for my original region now mirrors canon with the release of GenV. I certainly don't want to have to trash that part of my plot, but I also don't want it to be seen as a cheap ripoff.

Side note: The proper term is "plot bunny." (Note the title of the thread.) The plot Buneary thing was the result of some brilliant ideas involving PC and April Fool's. Just to give you a heads up.

That being said, that depends on what you're trying to do specifically. If your plot is about an evil organization using a teenage boy who they call a king to take control of a legendary Pokémon, all while the teenage boy is harping about how everyone else needs to release their Pokémon because it's wrong to enslave them and if you don't do anything to make it seem like your story is different from that one, then sure, it might look like a rip-off to some readers. (Some; not all.)

However, if your plot just coincides with the timeline of the games, if your plot borrows or references the Gen V events as part of its background, or if that's your plot but you take it a step further and bring something new to the table (as in, it's not a word-for-word copy of the games' plot), then there's really nothing to worry about at all. This is because there's not really much that would cause the reader to look at your story and instantly think, "Well huh. This sounds a lot like the games I just played."

SeleneHime April 2nd, 2011 9:06 AM

Heh, well, no ... I'm not using a teenage boy who calls himself a king. The thing I had a problem with is that the alternate world for pokemon alone plot point is a pivotal part of my story, at least with Minerva. Sure, Minerva is a bit of a well intentioned extremist that's lost a few nuts and bolts along the way, but she's not crazy enough to pose no threat. And honestly, things are better off when she's in charge. >_>

But, no, it's certainly not going to be a carbon copy of Generation V.

JX Valentine April 2nd, 2011 9:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeleneHime (Post 6551222)
Heh, well, no ... I'm not using a teenage boy who calls himself a king. The thing I had a problem with is that the alternate world for pokemon alone plot point is a pivotal part of my story, at least with Minerva. Sure, Minerva is a bit of a well intentioned extremist that's lost a few nuts and bolts along the way, but she's not crazy enough to pose no threat. And honestly, things are better off when she's in charge. >_>

Believe it or not, this plot isn't exactly new to Pokémon canon. Before N was talking about it, the Elite Four in Pokémon Special were trying to decimate the human race because Lance thought Pokémon deserved a better world. After that, this would pretty much be the background of every Mystery Dungeon game ever. (The Pokémon-only world, at least. Apparently, there were humans. There just aren't that many anymore.) Likewise, depending on which canon and how one feels about Cyrus, this could also be what Team Galactic was trying to do by creating a new world free of corruption (read: people screwing things up in Cyrus's view).

This isn't to say that the concept won't work. As I've already implied, it's a base concept. What you do with it beyond that can make or break your story. The "beyond that" part can be provided through a whole host of methods. For example, what's Minerva's beef with the human race? How is she planning on creating this new world? (Are there legendaries involved? Is it science? Keep in mind that every evil organization uses legendaries to achieve their plots, so... yeah.) Where does the protagonist fit in? Why does the protagonist disagree with Minerva? What does that character do to stop her? And so on and so forth.

Keep in mind that these are all rhetorical questions (meaning I don't actually want you to answer them -- especially given the fact that, judging by how you just said your story isn't a carbon-copy of the games, you don't really need too much help in figuring out whether or not the answers to these would help you avoid giving a reader the feeling that your fic is a rip-off). They're just there to provide examples of the kinds of questions you should be asking yourself in order to build your story a bit further.

In short, though, if your story isn't a carbon-copy, then there's nothing you need to worry about.

SeleneHime April 2nd, 2011 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6551236)
Believe it or not, this plot isn't exactly new to Pokémon canon. Before N was talking about it, the Elite Four in Pokémon Special were trying to decimate the human race because Lance thought Pokémon deserved a better world. After that, this would pretty much be the background of every Mystery Dungeon game ever. (The Pokémon-only world, at least. Apparently, there were humans. There just aren't that many anymore.) Likewise, depending on which canon and how one feels about Cyrus, this could also be what Team Galactic was trying to do by creating a new world free of corruption (read: people screwing things up in Cyrus's view).

This isn't to say that the concept won't work. As I've already implied, it's a base concept. What you do with it beyond that can make or break your story. The "beyond that" part can be provided through a whole host of methods. For example, what's Minerva's beef with the human race? How is she planning on creating this new world? (Are there legendaries involved? Is it science? Keep in mind that every evil organization uses legendaries to achieve their plots, so... yeah.) Where does the protagonist fit in? Why does the protagonist disagree with Minerva? What does that character do to stop her? And so on and so forth.

Keep in mind that these are all rhetorical questions (meaning I don't actually want you to answer them -- especially given the fact that, judging by how you just said your story isn't a carbon-copy of the games, you don't really need too much help in figuring out whether or not the answers to these would help you avoid giving a reader the feeling that your fic is a rip-off). They're just there to provide examples of the kinds of questions you should be asking yourself in order to build your story a bit further.

In short, though, if your story isn't a carbon-copy, then there's nothing you need to worry about.

Yeah, PokeSpecial did do the base plot as well. But as I'm sure you know, nothing is completely original anymore. It's making it your own that counts, and doing it well. Your point about the original PMD arc also holds true. Humans seem to have died out in that world.

Mmm. Those are good questions, and I've already gone over them a few times. Sorry that my reply isn't near as long as yours, but I think that we've said pretty much everything there is to say on this without rehashing things. Thanks for your input, JX.

The_Noob April 2nd, 2011 12:34 PM

I know this sounds stupid but... Would a playthrough fic of an OCR (Original Character Reigon), with Serebii-esque details of every-route and encounter (albeit with some humorous, snappy dialouge) be considered a 'good idea'?

I mean, would you read it even if there was a pictures thrown in and a subplot of me being held hostage by GameFreak to play it after a misunderstanding with Ken Sugimori on Twitter?

Noob out.

Bay April 2nd, 2011 3:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Noob (Post 6551681)
I know this sounds stupid but... Would a playthrough fic of an OCR (Original Character Reigon), with Serebii-esque details of every-route and encounter (albeit with some humorous, snappy dialouge) be considered a 'good idea'?

I mean, would you read it even if there was a pictures thrown in and a subplot of me being held hostage by GameFreak to play it after a misunderstanding with Ken Sugimori on Twitter?

Noob out.

The Noob, if you mean making a playthrough like how IGN does with walkthroughs, I don't think I'll be excited about it, even with humorous dialogue. I might get bored after a while.

As for pictures, I tend to not like pics in fanfics as it'll distract me from the writing itself. I'm fine though if the pics are separated from the story. As for the subplot, you'll have to be careful with that as having you as a self-insert like that could either be really funny or it might look like you're forcing the comedy out. I tend to be skeptical over comedic situations like that.

The_Noob April 2nd, 2011 3:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bay Alexison (Post 6552008)
The Noob, if you mean making a playthrough like how IGN does with walkthroughs, I don't think I'll be excited about it, even with humorous dialogue. I might get bored after a while.

As for pictures, I tend to not like pics in fanfics as it'll distract me from the writing itself. I'm fine though if the pics are separated from the story. As for the subplot, you'll have to be careful with that as having you as a self-insert like that could either be really funny or it might look like you're forcing the comedy out. I tend to be skeptical over comedic situations like that.


Heh, I was expecting such things. Maybe I've been doing too much Cracked.com, and I've been wanting to write something similar to one of their (hillarious) articles.

I'll go for a traditional fanfic about how the internet would work in the Pokemon World instead.

Noob out.

JX Valentine April 2nd, 2011 7:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeleneHime (Post 6551530)
But as I'm sure you know, nothing is completely original anymore.

To put it bluntly, yes and no. Yes, I do know that it's difficult (but not impossible, just to encourage a good number of you) to come up with an original idea. In fact, I believe I mentioned in the second paragraph of that other post I wrote that the part I was referring to (Pokémon Special, Mystery Dungeon, et cetera -- or, put it in different terms, the theme of "humans are a detriment to the world"... which, yes, is a theme) is a base concept, not a full concept.

That being said, I will have to say I hate it when people say that no story is original anymore. That's partly because it sounds so much like an excuse (and frequently is used as one when an author decides to write a "same plot, different character names" kind of story) and partly because it's still not entirely true. As I've said in that other post and the above paragraph, I was referring to base concepts, otherwise known as theme. The theme is not the entirety of the story; the theme is the thing that the story is built upon. All of those examples have similarities, but does that mean Pokémon recycles its own plot over and over again? Nope. Does it mean that its own storyline isn't original? Nope. What it means is that all of those examples attempt to answer the same question of whether or not humans are forces of good in that world. Those people say no, and they plot to do something about it. As you can also tell, they had completely different methods of going about and solving this problem. Lance had the Elite Four attack cities with legions of Pokémon. Cyrus attempted to use Dialga and Palkia to create a new world without humans and move on over (leaving this one intact). No one's quite sure what happened with the Mystery Dungeon universe, but it's implied that humans simply mass-migrated somewhere else (because there are still humans, just not there). For that reason, each story called for the protagonist to do something a little bit different. PokéSpe had the main characters team up with Team Rocket in order to defeat the Elite Four one by one. DP has you capturing the legendary at Spear Pillar to stop Team Galactic once and for all (and even then, in the anime, the story and manga differ completely from this still). Mystery Dungeon doesn't even bother solving the problem because it turns out their world really is better off without humans. So, each one isn't really unoriginal. It just so happens that they share some very basic concepts.

Is it possible to avoid sharing very basic concepts (like themes, character types, settings, and so on)? Probably not, and in that sense, sure, nothing is "completely original." However, this is like saying everyone is the same person because we share parts of our personalities and interests with other people. This is really no reason to call every story unoriginal.

And I'm sorry for being biting, but this topic comes up now and then, and it gets really frustrating because, as I've said, it's usually from people who want to defend a bland story idea. Not saying yours is. Just saying I'm really, really tired of hearing that phrase "no story is completely original." It's original when you build your plot in a way that doesn't make it sound like it's just a rehashing of an already trite storyline.

[/rant]

FlameEntei April 2nd, 2011 8:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlameEntei (Post 6537895)
Just to exercise my brain and writing muscles I have decided to write a fanfic where Ash and Co. visits my home country of Singapore.

I am using the cast of BW season in Pokemon.

Basically Ash travels to an island nation known as Entepore. Odd things happen to Ash and Co. once they land on this island whose people speak Singlish and end with "lahs".etc

Also laws that oppress Pokemon-related activities are abound in this island just as strict laws with big penalties exist in real world Singapore.

However as the 3 part series goes on, Ash and his new friend discovers that there is more than meets the eye with laws that defied those used by the Pokemon Association.

The Plot is still being concocted.

I wonder if I am going to write this in 3rd person in the point of view of a minor Character who comes in contact with Ash. Or maybe from Ash's point of view.

Just some updates on the Entepore chapter, the Ash and the protagonist discover that the reason behind the laws that indirectly make Enteporeans somewhat Pokemon haters was because the opposition team believes that one of the governers of Enterpore is part of Team Plasma. The protagonist believes that the only way to save Enterpore is to find the pokemon, Entei.

SeleneHime April 3rd, 2011 7:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JX Valentine (Post 6552786)
To put it bluntly, yes and no. Yes, I do know that it's difficult (but not impossible, just to encourage a good number of you) to come up with an original idea. In fact, I believe I mentioned in the second paragraph of that other post I wrote that the part I was referring to (Pokémon Special, Mystery Dungeon, et cetera -- or, put it in different terms, the theme of "humans are a detriment to the world"... which, yes, is a theme) is a base concept, not a full concept.

That being said, I will have to say I hate it when people say that no story is original anymore. That's partly because it sounds so much like an excuse (and frequently is used as one when an author decides to write a "same plot, different character names" kind of story) and partly because it's still not entirely true. As I've said in that other post and the above paragraph, I was referring to base concepts, otherwise known as theme. The theme is not the entirety of the story; the theme is the thing that the story is built upon. All of those examples have similarities, but does that mean Pokémon recycles its own plot over and over again? Nope. Does it mean that its own storyline isn't original? Nope. What it means is that all of those examples attempt to answer the same question of whether or not humans are forces of good in that world. Those people say no, and they plot to do something about it. As you can also tell, they had completely different methods of going about and solving this problem. Lance had the Elite Four attack cities with legions of Pokémon. Cyrus attempted to use Dialga and Palkia to create a new world without humans and move on over (leaving this one intact). No one's quite sure what happened with the Mystery Dungeon universe, but it's implied that humans simply mass-migrated somewhere else (because there are still humans, just not there). For that reason, each story called for the protagonist to do something a little bit different. PokéSpe had the main characters team up with Team Rocket in order to defeat the Elite Four one by one. DP has you capturing the legendary at Spear Pillar to stop Team Galactic once and for all (and even then, in the anime, the story and manga differ completely from this still). Mystery Dungeon doesn't even bother solving the problem because it turns out their world really is better off without humans. So, each one isn't really unoriginal. It just so happens that they share some very basic concepts.

Is it possible to avoid sharing very basic concepts (like themes, character types, settings, and so on)? Probably not, and in that sense, sure, nothing is "completely original." However, this is like saying everyone is the same person because we share parts of our personalities and interests with other people. This is really no reason to call every story unoriginal.

And I'm sorry for being biting, but this topic comes up now and then, and it gets really frustrating because, as I've said, it's usually from people who want to defend a bland story idea. Not saying yours is. Just saying I'm really, really tired of hearing that phrase "no story is completely original." It's original when you build your plot in a way that doesn't make it sound like it's just a rehashing of an already trite storyline.

[/rant]

I understand your sentiment all too well. However, as you have mentioned, many do use that line to defend bland and overused works. I suppose I should've saved you the rant and expanded upon what I was thinking. My apologies.

I was underlining the fact that every work is inspired by something, or in some cases, many things. People take inspiration from some of the most random things, and usually every author has someone they look up to. So, while it is up to the author his/herself to make sure their work is original, it will carry a hint of flavor of something else in it. However, while you are right that to call everything unoriginal is a bit cynical and lazy, it is only as original as the storyteller makes it.
I'm not trying to start a debate and/or dissection of writing with you, and while it seems to have already happened, rest assured it was not my intention. Perhaps I'd best bow out before I dig myself into a deeper hole, eh?

Dialga's Song of Time April 3rd, 2011 4:41 PM

I have an idea for a future fanfic

Right after completing my current fanfic, I plan to write another crossover of pokemon/mario. It will be a novelization of paper mario and another which will be paper mario: the thousond year door. It will include several of my main characters of my current fanfic, link, zelda, kirby, and possibly sonic, and of course mario. And when I get started, I want someone to work with on this fanfic. Any ideas on how to get started.

The_Noob April 3rd, 2011 5:05 PM

Hey! Thought bubble!

I'm in a sort of 'I wonder what N's childhood was like?' mood. It would be interesting to make a quick oneshot about a day in N's life, specifically one where he meets Pokemon for the first time, or he gets beaten up and mentally tortured by Ghetsis and his Pokemon, etc.

I've seen a few before on FF.net, but they're usually Harmoniashipping, which means that Ghetsis rapes him, often times while N is playing with blocks. The description these fangirls go into to describe how it would feel to be cornholed by a family member with children's toys digging into your chest makes you wonder what happened to them as children.

As such, I'd rather have Ghetsis be more of a verbally, psychologically, or physically abusive father than a sexually abusive one. I don't even think he would be monstrous enough to rape N.

Also, I think he's an immortal sorcerer, and has had a crapload of kids before N, one of them being Hunter J, if you go by anime canon. But that's just my thoughts regurgitated onto text.

Noob out.

Meinfoo April 16th, 2011 1:46 AM

I have a -er- bunny to pull out of a hat.

I have explored this idea in the past, back when I failed to understand what a 'paragraph' was. I'm hoping to get some feedback!

Title: Nyu Jirando

Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama/Comedy

Meet Auster. He is a university student, slacking off with his research, partying, setting couches on fire and pretty much anything besides studying for his exams. When he falls just short of the mark to pass he receives an offer from the head Evolutionary professor to study evolution in the field and recording it. The problem is, in order to do this, Auster has to take the Nyu Jirando league challenge.

Auster hates Pokemon trainers, and being around Pokemon all together. He sees them as souless beasts, growing up on a farm has desensitized him to the fact that they have emotions too. He detests wannabe try-hard trainers, running about cities and the countryside like they own the place, commanding their powerful creatures for the bidding.

But he has no choice, in order to make the cut to pass (he has no money to try again next year) he takes three Pokemon from his fathers farm, a Ponyta, a Mareep and a Spoink and heads out into the harsh world of Pokemon training. Not an easy thing to do for someone an 'attitude' and the inability to accept defeat.

Trouble is brewing in Nyu Jirando however. The uprising "Mongrel Mob" are causing havoc throughout the country. They are bent to steal as many Pokemon as they can, and the testing they perform on them... is not pretty. If they succeed, evolution around the entire world will change forever, infact. It will never occur again if the Everstone Bomb is released.

Their gang-like intimidation is forcing even peaceful people to join their ranks. They are operating in secret and attacking using terrorist strategies. If this continues, the entire country will fall into chaos.

Meet Sue. A french Evolutionary Studies student who corresponds with Auster. She is beautiful and has a great singing voice. She has a wealthy background and never hesitates to splash out on bizzare and beautiful outfits. Her true passion is Pokemon and evolution. She is travelling to meet Auster and help him record his journey and any evolutions he may witness, she is going to compete in the Nyu Jirando league too. She carries with her specially bred Pokemon gifted to her from her father to aid her quest. However, with the Mongrel Mob controlling the airport she lands in, things could turn ugly quickly.

Meet James. A runner up of the Kanto league losing narrowly to his rival. He specializes in combination attacks and can often tutor Pokemon to use techniques they cannot usually learn. All of his Pokemon are unevolved despite their huge power and speed. It was the only thing that stopped him from becoming champion. There isn't a day when he doesn't wonder why none of his companions had changed form yet. After hearing that Nyu Jirando boasted the top evolutionary professors he travels there, on the same plane as Sue to compete in the Nyu Jirando league and hopefully discover the secret planted deep inside his Pokemon.

These three lives all meet, and they realise one shocking fact.

They need each other.

A heavy weight rests on the shoulders of these three individuals. If one falls, the other will crumble.

Unless they can defeat the demons inside themselves, put aside their personal issues and focus on the bigger picture...

Nyu Jirando will fall into chaos.

Experience action, humour, and a burning passion for sucuess as these three unique personalities travel this young land in search of strength, wisdom and the most important thing of all... truth.

Featuring new Pokemon, new evolutions, an evil group that is prepared to shoot, and kill and the greatest power struggle that threatens to tip the balance of all energy into oblivion.

If the bomb is created... and the bomb is set off...

Not only will evolution cease to exist...

But so will all people

so will all places

so will all Pokemon

so will...

everything...


^
Just a rough idea, can I please have comments and if anyone has questions I am happy to answer. There is plenty I haven't covered but that is just because I would have an even bigger text wall for everyone to trawl through =D

Squirtle. April 24th, 2011 8:03 AM

Here are a couple of plots which I have had in mind. I would like to get some criticism on each, and hear what people feel would be the best fanfic to go with. I'm fond on both ideas, and at some point plan to complete both, I'm just unsure as to which I would like to go fourth with right now. So here are my two plot summaries for the fanfics, "Pokémon Fossil" and "The Melodic Mare". A t the moment I am leaning towards "The Melodic Mare" but I'm open to opinions.

Pokémon Fossil
Adio was an atypical kid, while other children his age began their journeys as Pokemon trainers, he instead would spend his days visiting the nearby ruins. Adio studied as ruin maniacs would scan the area, searching for fossils of ancient Pokémon. He would watch as dust gather, and slowly drifted in the air as the prospect of finding something was all to real. The ruins went without much of any findings for an extremely long period of time, to an extent where all the ruin maniacs packed up and left the site. Adio was disheartened, the site where he had spent a tremendous portion of his time was never to be touched again- unless.

Adio ran back to his house and gathered numerous objects, a brush used to comb the fur of Pokémon, a toothbrush, some steel objects and a few gardening tools from his mother's garden. Day after day, Adio would proceed in where the ruin maniacs had left off, he would patiently scrub the gorund to an extent where his fingernails became tattered and his hands rough as the ground that he would dig through. With his clothes dirty and tattered he would leave the ruins depressed. The day that he had almost completed the dig was a depressing day, not a single fossil had been found. Adio stared at the final plot of land, questioning as to weather he should even bother to finish the dig. As he stared, he turned to see someone else enter the ruin site. Adio watched, guessing it was just another passer by, was he ever wrong.

This unknown figure made his way towards Adio, almost as though he was inspecting the job he had done. Adio shied away from him, but the guy was persistent in starting a conversation. He complimented his work, and was appalled by the fact that he had accomplished so much with such makeshift tools. The man introduced himself as Bill, a researcher who has had a grand amount of experience with Pokémon paleontology and had an immense conversation dealing with his findings, but was disappointed to hear he had no findings. Bill noticed the patch of land untouched and questioned why it was untouched. Adio explained that he was going to leave it as he believed there to be no point. Bill was shocked by what he had heard, and was sly in convincing Adio to continue fourth. The duo spent the entire day, and most of the night searching, nothing was found until an orange glow emitted from the ground. The two stared at it, amazed. The two became hysterical, dancing and frolicking in the dead of night.

Bill made an inquiry, asking Adio to come to his lab with him, as he was impressed with his drive and uncanny ability. In Bill's lab, Adio learns an extensive amount of knowledge. The most amazing thing Adio witnessed was this machine that Bill had claimed to be able to resurrect fossils in present day, as well as a certain invention that when finished would presumably allow travel to a Pokémon region, in the past. The two continue their studies, eventually completing both machines. The Amber found back in the ruins was taken and inserted in the machine. Both of the ruin loving boys gazed, bewildered, as an Aerodactyl emerged from the machine. Amazed with the fact that the machine worked, the two began to extensively work with the machine that would allow time travel -along with extensive research of, and immense playing with Aerodactyl-

Work continued, and finally the machine had been finished, ready to engage in something none other had every attempted, time travel. Both Bill and Adio entered, Aerodactyl at their sides. The switch flicked and they watched as the world around them transformed, they weren't in Johto anymore, they found themselves in the Mesozoa region, surrounded by the Pokémon unseen before, besides in fossil form. The two travel throughout the Mesozoa region, studying, sketching, battling and foiling a huge dilemma that plagues the region.

The Melodic Mare
Many years ago, in the Melodic Mare (A region East of the Orange Archipelago that consists of floating paradises.) there existed a group of Pokémon trainers who were referred to as PokéMinstrels. They would train Pokémon as normal trainers do, but also would aid in developing a Pokémon's musical ability. Throughout the region people would gather in the numerous colosseums that were found in each town, in order to hear the beautiful melodies that the PokéMinstrels would teach their Pokémon. A PokéMinstrel's goal was to become the Master of Melody, receiving the greatest positive response from the crowd at each of the colosseum shows.

Brighton, a boy with an undeniable talent, a true ear for music has recently turned 12, the age at which people begin their journeys as a true PokéMinstrel. Along with his lifelong companion, his beloved Chatot he looks to achieve his dream of becoming a Master of Melody. Brighton finds himself encountering numerous hardships, from an easily distracted, thick skulled Chatot, to a rival who seems to be the epitome of perfection when it comes to PokéMinstel standards. Brighton is determined, but his quirky fun loving personality, mixed with his seriousness that is associated with music leads to some crazy situations.

IanDonyer April 29th, 2011 8:44 PM

Okay, MayNoWriMo Novel.

- Six years prior to the start of the story, Sarah Scott falls asleep in her home while only her son, Terrence, is in the home, sick- she is watching over him. Father Christopher Scott and daughters Elizabeth and Sierra are out to go see a movie. Sarah is a known insomniac, and has not slept for two days. She makes the mistake of falling asleep with a cigarette in her hand, and the house goes up in flames. Sarah and Terrence are burned badly, and in the ICU ward of Azalea General Hospital, the next morning, Terrence passes away. Sarah passes away just three hours after.

To escape the town in which the tragedy occurred, as well as find a new home, they move to Pallet Town, Kanto.

Six years later, single father Christopher Scott spots a story in the Pallet Gazette, a local newspaper. ANTI, the Annual New Trainer Initiative is coming to Pallet Town! Normally, ANTI travels around the region, going in the "traditional" order set up in order of gyms by Red, a local legend from about eleven years ago, thus making trainers in any other town either catch their own Pokemon, or go to the town ANTI is in. This year is their restarting, having been in Cinnabar last year.

He decides to enroll his daughters in the initiative. This is for two reasons; one, he hopes for them to see the world, find new, fun experiences. Second, he thinks they would be better off. Training in these days was a way for people to make a living, even young ladies like themselves, and Christopher Scott needed to see that. He had a bit of difficulty holding down a job, and thus money was always kind of tight around the Scott House.

So, he does, and tells them: Elizabeth, who has chosen by now to go by the name Beth, is awestruck, but excited. Sierra was a lot closer to their mother than Beth ever was, though, and had been struck by it harder - she was still acting out to this day. So of course daddy dearest's decision didn't sit well with her.

So he leads them to the area where ANTI starts, and they go through it, Sierra forcibly.
On the way, they run into Matthew Joyson, part of an established family: the Joysons were better known for their female members, with their curly pink hair and medical skill. Called Nurse Joys, who tended to volunteer in the local Pokemon Centers, and Pallet Town's Daisy Oak Nursery was no exception. Matt battles both Beth's Squirtle, Shelly, and Sierra's Bulbasaur, Venus, with his Charmander, Blair- and loses against both of them, interestingly enough. He declares them his rivals, then runs off.

The story is basically running off typical journey fic-isms for a while. The two sisters travel together for a bit, then drift off while Beth decides to take a detour for exploration and experience purposes, and Sierra wants to go on with the flow. One more rival fight with Matt Joyson.
At Cerulean City, Beth runs into a woman in all black, leather clothing. On the front of her shirt is a pink label - TR.

She identifies herself as being from Team Rocket.

Beth, of course, recognizing the name, is shocked. Team Rocket was supposed to have disbanded nine years ago with their total defeat by Johto's famous trainer, Ethan. So she figures this must be a hoax. She battles the girl with all three of the Pokemon she has by this point and loses horribly against the girl's single Pokemon, an odd steely thing with blades for arms.

She identifies herself as Tierra I, and says to Beth to spread the word. Team Rocket is coming back strong, and will make their first move soon- and it will deal a devestating blow to Kanto's economic system.

Sierra, in Vermillion, and Matt in Mt. Moon run into similar circumstances themselves, against a man identifying himself as Tierra II, and a woman identifying herself as Tierra III, respectively.
Things run smoothly again for a while at this point. In Vermillion (once again, this 'traditional order' most trainers follow, thinking, 'Hey, if RED did it and got so good, maybe I can too!'), Matt and Beth join together to travel, figuring it to be a good money strategy as well as a bit of safety, they both figure- though the latter, neither tells the other.

Now, in Celadon City, an attack on the Department Store occurs. Local Gym Leader Erika comes to defend the place, but is overriden by the sole numbers. Beth, Sierra and Matt are all in the city at this point (Sierra, admittedly, has a bit of a gambling problem; was in the local game corner, wasting her time away), and with Beth swearing and frightened, are all drawn into the fight.

But of course, they all recognize that pink "TR".

They run into Tierra II ater fighting through a few lower grunts of the team, and fight him in a triple battle. They win by a thread, more than anything by a lucky shot by Blair, now a Charmeleon, and his Flamethrower, and of course, a bit of last minute aid from Erika.

The Rockets retreat. The Department Store is devestated, and closed down for a while; which is bad, as it provided most of the supplies to Kanto's Pokemarts, forcing them to import from Johto. But suddenly, a woman calling herself Arianna Dupree comes up and offers assistance. The Pokemarts accept it, and they are given what seems to be a limitless amount of supplies.
The next Rocket incident is in Fuschia City. The Safari Zone is a large, untamed patch of wilderness which has only recently been reopened to the public, and it gets invaded by Rocket Grunts, as well as Tierra III. Beth and Matt only take this one on, and lose this time due to the powerful, rare Pokemon that Tierra III seems to have control over- even though they aren't in Pokeballs. T

Now of course, two major blows to the economic system occur. A major source of Fuschia City's income for its government programs was planned to be the Safari Zone, and due to the incontrollable wild Pokemon, it is closed down. Guess who comes to the rescue with donations to Fuschia City? Arianna Dupree.

This is starting to grow serious. A Police Investigation of Team Rocket is started, and Beth, Sierra and Matt are asked for assistance due to their involvement in the Celadon Incident.

But, they decline, claiming themselves to just be children wanting to get their Pokemon Journies onward. So, the investigation goes on without them.

Normality 'till Sierra's visit to Cinnabar. Sierra finds out that a rampaging Nidoking is going through the island, and even Gym Leader Furn is unable to stop it. So Sierra goes to check out, battling it intensely, and catches it, adding it as the final member of the team.

Furn offers her a treat to dinner and a battle, free-of-charge (Gym Battles in these days cost a bit of money), for her help. She agrees, and says she'll meet him in the gym later that night.

She does not show up.

Guess who shows up to fund the reconstruction after the Nidoking rampage, by the way? Arianna Dupree.

Later, Beth and Matt show up to the gym, challenging Furn. He makes an offhand remark about Beth’s resemblance to a girl who had saved the town, so Beth asks her name; Furn responds with Sierra, and mentions that she went missing.

Beth and Matt finish up the battle, then go to fervently search for their disappeared sister/friend, of whom they cannot contact over the phone or through any other possible way. They manage to locate a old detective who speaks in strange language and calls himself, “Looker”. Looker is a local retiree, but has come out of his rest for the new Team Rocket case, and locates through some old friends an old abandoned base that suddenly came back to life in the Sevii Islands.

So with their gratitude (and a bit of their money) toward “Looker”, the two rush off toward that base. They are convinced that the new Rockets have kidnapped Sierra. In this base, they run into the three Tierras, who try to stop them.

They are captured and thrown into a jail, while their boss, acclaimed as, “Tierra Radiance” (TR! It was all a ploy, the Team Rocket part, to scare people and generally leave them with as little competition as possiable), tries to decide what to do with them. They recognize this face as the world-famous Arianna Dupree. Arianna decides in the end that their punishment is to be executed. Tierra I, who Arianna refers to as Nicole, and her Bisharp are given the job.

Tierra II is left to guard them while they wait for Nicole to come. He introduces himself as Roy Undelle, and offers them a chance to escape and go after their Pokemon. Roy, who in the past worked as a behavioral analyst for the Guardia Civil, Kanto’s FBI, tells his own profile- an organized narcissistic psychopath. He loves the thrills. Such an organized execution is revealed to be, to him... boring. So he hands Matt the jail cell keys, makes Matt punch him in the face to break his nose, and watches them escape.

They manage to sneak round the underground jail cells a bit and find their Pokeballs, only to be confronted by Nicole, Tierra I. Matt offers himself to battle her. They nod to each other, and Beth sneaks off with a bit of distraction from Matt.

Matt’s battle is difficult. Pretty much because of that Articuno Nicole is using. He manages a win, but is down to one, exhausted Pokemon because of it. He rushes off after Beth.

Beth, in the mean time, manages to find the cell in which Sierra was indeed being held, an early capture for disrupting their plans on Cinnabar with a certain rampaging Nidoking. After defeating a grunt in charge of guarding the cell, she frees Sierra; but the noise draws in Tierra II, Roy Undelle. Sierra offers to do this one, while Beth reluctantly agrees, as she knows her sister and sees no point in arguing with a stubborn personality.

Sierra’s battle is also difficult. She had her Pokeballs in the desk drawer of the room that her cell was in, so they were an easy find, but the not-so-easy part was that Zapdos Roy has. He reveals that Team Radiance, or TR- or, Team rocket-, used control chips that Tierra III, their technology expert, created. They have control of all three legendary birds. Sierra wins also, but with the same predicament as the last one to go through this trial.

Beth is the one to finally encounter Tierra III, who reveals her name to be Victoria. Of course, she has Moltres, and Beth and her fight fiercely; it ends in a tie. Beth's Blissey helps heal two of her team members, at the cost of basically draining all of her energy, leaving her unable to battle.

Being the only one with more than one functioning Pokemon, Beth is left to battle Arianna Dupree. The backstory of this rich girl is revealed.

Arianna Dupree was the daughter of Richard Dupree, a man who once monopolized all of the Kanto region's 'marts. Richard was a cold man who's thoughts were business; and sex, so much to the point of using his daughter for it. She was molested by him, and her mother did nothing about it. She left home at an earlier age than most did of her class, at around thirteen. She was living the life of a normal trainer for a while, conditioning her to that lifestyle; but when her father died of 'mysterious' circumstances, which she identifies to be her own fault, the inheritance money is just about enough to feed her for life.

She wants more.

So, bitter and angry with the world, and greedy, she begins to gather people. The first major promise of this group was Nicole Hendricks, a single mother with a three-year old son. She offers her a spot in a criminal gang for protection of her son, consistent pay, and the mother-daughter relationship in which this girl craves. She lost her mother early, and her dad was a deserter. The girl all-too-eagerly plain ol' ditches her son, and agrees.

The next person she confronts is a man named Roy Undelle. A former cop gone bad, she digs in some dirt and realizes that this man has taken quite a few lives- not all in justifiable spirit, either. Both with this dirt as bribery and using this man's thrill seeking wishes, she convinces him to join.

Finally, the third and most important person was Victoria Smith. Victoria grew up in relative normalcy- except for the whole, 'Hey, daddy hits mommy some nights when his breath stinks and she apologizes for it. That's weird' trauma. Victoria simply fell in love with technology, and that's what gave her the appeal that Arianna sought out. She joins with little to no problem.

With these three people as underlings, she begins to plan. Plan, grow and plot for her revenge against the world.

The battle is long and difficult. While she holds no legendary Pokemon, Arianna is an excellent battler with skilled and strong Pokemon. Beth loses.

Sierra comes into the picture next. Manages to defeat one or two of Arianna's Pokemon with her exhausted Venusaur, but ends up getting all of her team taken out, too.

Matt also defeats one or two of her Pokemon. This narrows it down to one Pokemon on Arianna's side, and none on the kid's.

What saves their lives then is simple. Furn, hearing about this base from Looker, gathers Erika and Janine, the two leaders also affected by the plans of Team Radiance. They, having had the opposition cleared, rushed through easily and found the children on their last leg, about to get their butts stomped into the ground by a Rampardos.

Arianna Dupree is defeated. In the typical cliche of a badguy, she pulls out the good ol' self-destruct button.

Within three minutes, the old base will self-destruct. With the help of Janine's two Scythers and their agility attack, they make it out in time.

And from here on out, story is typical rip-off from Kanto plotline. Matt and Beth fight one more time, Matt loses; Beth goes onto the Indigo Plateau after winning the eighth badge, and gets through Victory Road (barely), fighting the Elite Four and finding...

dun dun dun, Sierra as the champion, having reached the position just an hour before her. The two fight intensely, and the only plot-twist is that Beth does end up losing. Beth goes back to Pallet to live as quietly as possible (beating up a major organization sort of puts some press on you, though luckily Sierra's championship does take some of the spotlight) with her father, letting Sierra have her fun up at the Indigo Plateau.

End of story.

So, any major kinks? I would appreciate quick response if possible, as you know... I only have 'till Sunday in order to really work out the majority of the stuff. =p Then I gotta get 'ta writing. Kinks in the later plot, though, can be done a few days after, of course...

Any feedback at all would be appreciate, though. :p

*phew* Spent all day writing all this up.

Konekodemon May 4th, 2011 5:51 PM

I'm confused about my Pokemon Adventures story. I don't know what should happen when Paul and Kairi get to the Viridian City Pokemon center. I don't want it to be what happened on the show. My sister suggested that the Center loses power and there's a Pokemon that's real sick and could die if power isn't returned soon. And Kairi and Paul help Nurse Joy treat it. Is that a good idea? Would Paul really do something like this?

Astinus May 4th, 2011 5:58 PM

That's still rather close to what happened on the show. Team Rocket's attack cut the power to the Center, and the characters were worried about the Pokemon at the Center. The same thing happened in another episode of the show, where the power of the city went out, and there were plenty of sick Pokemon at the center. Ash and friends had to go to the power plant and return power to the city, or else the Pokemon would not get better.

I'm not really sure how Paul would react in that situation. I want to say that he'd scoff at the idea of helping a Pokemon that's weak, but then again, I'm really not an expert on Paul's character.

What result do you need from this chapter? I mean like what information do the characters get from this event, or how do the characters change, or how does the plot need to move on from this? Because there might be a way to get the result you want without using an attack on the Pokemon Center. If that makes sense.

Konekodemon May 4th, 2011 6:00 PM

There is no attack. I was thinking Team Rocket didn't cut the power. It just went off cause of a huge storm. And my point is I'm trying to show readers that deep down inside even though Paul can be a jerk sometimes, he does really care about people and Pokemon.


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