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psyanic February 26th, 2012 2:34 PM

I'm supposed to be studying chemistry, but screw that. Numbers are floating out of my ears at the moment. Besides, this is studying English isn't it?

Spoiler:

Team Plasma is a funny team. Not like clowns or the Harlem Globetrotters, they're just the weird ones. I really applaud the Pokemon company for making them because of how deep they have the potential to be, but simple enough for the childish players and all. Some parts of Unova actually support them remember? But the reality morality vs fictional morality is a good standpoint. Maybe people will start to realize how different Pokemon is, and just how freaking awesome it is.

I think Hunter J would be really easy to incorporate. Remember the musketeers are legendary, and someone would want them, or want them gone. In this case, someone would probably hire Hunter J to capture them, where Greg gets saved or something and tries helping her maybe? Then this could lead to an encounter with N, because he doesn't like poachers. Just some food for thought.

I think Zoroark is actually a good match, mainly because it can change into a human and Greg could possibly sympathize? I think it would be funny if Greg decides to travel with the "human" until he figures out that it's actually an illusion. At least that's for an initial meeting so Greg can slowly start warming up and get used to it. Even more, it could pose as a assistant to Professor Juniper because she wants to study its illusions, and Greg could meet it there. Oh the endless possibilities. The only problem is Zoroark are supposed to be rare, but who cares.

N and Greg have potential to have some awkward chemistry. We'll see what happens, since it looks like you have that part pretty much set.

A missing piece tied in with the dragons? I think a dragon stone or whatever it was in the movie would be a perfect fit. It's Zekrom and Reshiram, so that'll fit. The stones are kind of like Dialga's and Palkia's, so the stones probably hold a lot of power or dimensional energy or something. That way, Greg has a desire to go about and look for the stones, and he could ask N about that. And he could explain more about dragons, etc. Or he could deny him and conflict ensues. Either way, using the stones sounds solid.

Yeah, overall the story wouldn't really be "you don't know what you're missing", mainly because Greg is running around Unova like the Odyssey. If you wanted that though, you should probably have Greg worry about his family missing him, and other references. Don't do it in excess though, that'd be too emo and exaggerated.


Well, glad I could help! Now I can go back to "studying", whatever that means.

dbcification February 26th, 2012 5:29 PM

I have two questions.


Spoiler:
I'm very new to the whole fanfic thing... But sometimes when I'm playing through a game, or reading a good book, or heck, even listening to some music, I'll get an idea that usually only has a tentative link to the trigger. Most of the time, I ignore it because I'm lazy and don't want to spend hours on end or even days or weeks writing out something, but this time was a bit different.

See, I was listening to the HGSS soundtrack last night, and this idea popped into my head, sort of a expansion into the world of GSC, from a more realistic and much darker standpoint. I don't really want to give away my plot since I haven't gotten it into the final ordering yet (I imagine what to write in stages rather than starting from the beginning and working to the end (in the example I gave above, this scene that floated into my mind would be about 2/3 of the way through the story)).

My biggest concern is length. Do people get turned off by long stories? This story is going from before my protagonist even got the desire to set out up to when said protagonist finally accomplishes the goal he's been striving towards, framed by the protagonist (at a much older age) telling the story. I envision him to be sitting in an armchair next to a fire telling his grandchildren, approximately. That said, it's a long story. I wrote for nearly two hours straight before getting to the night before the protagonist left on his journey. I guess that could be a prologue, or maybe the first chapter, but I still have all of Johto (with my own spin) to go through, not to mention building up the conflict and tension subtly enough that it's not like "Oh, herpderp I'm walking around OHMAIGAWDTEAMROCKETISEVIL," and other stuff that would have to happen before the halfway point. Not to mention all the stuff after the halfway point. I would anticipate if I split it into chapters it would take at least twenty to tell the whole story.

So, would it be better to split it into that many chapters, or perhaps take three or four chapters at a time and post them up as Acts or Sections or something like that?


and

Spoiler:
My protagonist is essentially a transplant/refugee, who ends up moving to Cherrygrove City after his home is Saffron is made unavailable by the main driving force of the plot, headed by my antagonist. He was given a Pokemon egg for his birthday contemporaneously with Red's journey through Kanto, though he wasn't going to go on an adventure while they were living in Saffron. The egg hatched into a Sneasel, and he's essentially raised it to ignore the darker tendencies that Sneasel and Weavile are known for, albeit unknowingly. The way his Sneasel acts intrigues Professor Elm, who invites (I guess I'll give his name, because writing out the protagonist is getting old) Ethan to help him with his research as his old Assistant is not around anymore. He's also going to meet a really close friend and possible love interest (though I have zero inclination to take the story down any romantic roads), who will also be a bit of a driving force in the plot.

I haven't decided on his morals yet. Obviously he's going to be a nurturing Trainer, due to the relationship he had with Sneasel, but he's going to get motivation spurring him on to revenge on the antagonist three times in the story, and I'm trying to decide how to turn an almost Ash-like moral set into something a bit more jaded without losing the original good that I had in mind for him... Maybe I can't, and he'll have to change. I really don't want to change him, but I don't really see any other options.

So, I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas on the moral values side of this. Also, before I forget, I'm worried that I'm overusing the egg idea, since the supporting protagonist is going to get a very rare Pokemon from an egg later in the story. Any thoughts on that would be appreciated as well.


If anyone can help me out on either of these points, I'd be much obliged.

psyanic February 26th, 2012 7:51 PM

Are spoiler tags the new trend or something?

Welcome to FF&W as well as the world of Fanfiction, dbcification! It's an exciting world, writing is. Length is not a concern. If people criticize you for length, it would be about how you rushed this, or it didn't flow like this, or this wasn't shown to be important enough, or anything else. Overall, it shouldn't matter. Long or short, as long as it's good writing, it's fine. People do not get turned off by long stories, trust me. I mean people read books all the time. I read the last Harry Potter book the day it came out because I was so excited, despite it breaking 700 pages. It did take me all day to finish it, but that's okay. It was a really good read and a satisfying ending. The same applies for fanfiction. Write as much as you need to get your story across, that's all that really matters.

The protagonist leaving isn't a prologue, I'll tell you that right now. A prologue would be some big event that sets your story into motion, like 9/11 caused the war on terror. Yeah, that's not exactly a story example but you get the point. Preferably, you should write in chapters. A lot of authors have acts, but that's just to separate the chapters. Not many release their story in acts. Use chapters. It's neater and easier to track, posting each chapter one at a time.

So now, onto the egg and Sneasel. Yes, they are known to be seriously vicious, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. I don't see why that would be so important to Professor Elm; it's just one Pokemon. It's temperament is a bit more mild, but overall it's still a Sneasel. It doesn't have three arms or an extra head, so why he'd be interested is beyond me. Professor Elm studies eggs, right? It would more canon if Professor Elm wanted to study the aging of a Pokemon hatched from an egg in captivity versus one in the wild, so he could ask Ethan about that and his help in research that way. In this case, you can mention how different its nature is from other Sneasel because of the way it was raised, you might mention egg moves, there are a lot of things you could do in that case. It's far more interesting rather than, "This Sneasel wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I want to study why!" If he studied people like that, he'd study everyone. He'd wonder why some people like this type of music and not this, because that's the standard kind. He'd survey what their favorite hairstyle was, and he'd be running around the world with a lot of questions. He'd wonder why some people can solve math problems, whereas others can't without a calculator.

Ironically, Ash is like that. I mean the way you're describing the character, since you want to use his mindset. AKA, being a complete doofus, can't tie his own shoes without yelling Thunderbolt, can't put 2 and 2 together (literally), etc. He also loses his temper easily, like when he met Paul in Sinnoh. I swear every time they met, Ash tried to act cool and Paul called him a loser and voila, Pokemon battle! The same goes with Trip, because that prick calls Ash a hick all the time. Come on Trip, get some new insults. Red neck jokes get old. Anyway, your character wants revenge? That's a different meal. Revenge is a meal best served cold. That's a big tone, in my opinion. The antagonist would have to do something more than just piss him off. It would be interesting to see his demeanor change as he continually meets his rival and his Sneasel feeds off that dark personality. And then they keep adding their negative influence, so you get some really messed up character. And that's freaking awesome. Now that does complicate things since you want that goody goody stuff in him. I mean, the only thing you can really do is change him. Don't make him be like Ash, a snot-nosed, selfish kid, and make him really chill or something. Either way, you'll figure something out.

Oh, one last topic: Eggs. Nah, that's not a big deal. Pokemon are practically worshipped in their world, so receiving a Pokemon egg is like catching one without the effort. The problem is how they receive the egg, but you won't reveal the plot so there's nothing else I can say.

Yeah, I finished! I'm so happy. Well, now I wasted about 10 minutes typing and doing nothing but help other people, when I should study. But studying is really boring and I prefer writing and reviewing and that stuff. Oh well. Big woop. Good luck with your story and I'll be looking forward to reading it!

dbcification February 27th, 2012 5:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7064087)
Are spoiler tags the new trend or something?

Yes. Yes they are. :D

Spoiler:
Welcome to FF&W as well as the world of Fanfiction, dbcification! It's an exciting world, writing is. Length is not a concern. If people criticize you for length, it would be about how you rushed this, or it didn't flow like this, or this wasn't shown to be important enough, or anything else. Overall, it shouldn't matter. Long or short, as long as it's good writing, it's fine. People do not get turned off by long stories, trust me. I mean people read books all the time. I read the last Harry Potter book the day it came out because I was so excited, despite it breaking 700 pages. It did take me all day to finish it, but that's okay. It was a really good read and a satisfying ending. The same applies for fanfiction. Write as much as you need to get your story across, that's all that really matters.

The protagonist leaving isn't a prologue, I'll tell you that right now. A prologue would be some big event that sets your story into motion, like 9/11 caused the war on terror. Yeah, that's not exactly a story example but you get the point. Preferably, you should write in chapters. A lot of authors have acts, but that's just to separate the chapters. Not many release their story in acts. Use chapters. It's neater and easier to track, posting each chapter one at a time.


That's good. I was worried that people would just click away after they saw the length. Chapters do certainly sound more manageable, so I'm taking your advice there, even though it means I'll have a ton of posts to write them all up on here. :/

Spoiler:
So now, onto the egg and Sneasel. Yes, they are known to be seriously vicious, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. I don't see why that would be so important to Professor Elm; it's just one Pokemon. It's temperament is a bit more mild, but overall it's still a Sneasel. It doesn't have three arms or an extra head, so why he'd be interested is beyond me. Professor Elm studies eggs, right? It would more canon if Professor Elm wanted to study the aging of a Pokemon hatched from an egg in captivity versus one in the wild, so he could ask Ethan about that and his help in research that way. In this case, you can mention how different its nature is from other Sneasel because of the way it was raised, you might mention egg moves, there are a lot of things you could do in that case. It's far more interesting rather than, "This Sneasel wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I want to study why!" If he studied people like that, he'd study everyone. He'd wonder why some people like this type of music and not this, because that's the standard kind. He'd survey what their favorite hairstyle was, and he'd be running around the world with a lot of questions. He'd wonder why some people can solve math problems, whereas others can't without a calculator.


Well, the reason behind Sneasel's nature being such a big deal is that
Spoiler:
in my story, essentially, Team Rocket has returned to power in Kanto to the degree that people had to evacuate, and that caused the Gym Leaders, the Elite Four, and any competent adult Trainers to go stand guard over an area, namely from Indigo Plateau to Route 26. Professor Elm's research has changed from studying the particulars of Pokemon evolution to studying how Pokemon can rise above the norms of their species, which is what is needed to defeat Team Rocket, since they are much, much stronger this time around, and a lot less, well, Team Rocket-ish (i.e no more "Oh no I dropped the Lift Key!").

So, I've payed a lot of attention to it because it sets up a line of communication for Ethan to take his mind off the situation that brought him to Johto, and it allows Professor Elm to get some much needed help on his research, since his assistant
Spoiler:
who, in my story, has gone off to the blockade to keep Team Rocket out of Johto (his daughter is my supporting protagonist as well)

isn't around anymore. It also allows for Ethan and the supporting protagonist (who I'm calling Lyra (may change, not sure on it yet) to meet and for some kind of bond to start between the two of them.

Spoiler:
I'm really trying to capture the awkwardness of being a teenager trying to fit into adult problems in an adult world in this spot in the story, because the thing that sparks Ethan and Lyra's friendship is Lyra being chased by Sneasel (who Ethan told to hide in the woods and play sheepdog after seeing Lyra sneaking peeks into the Lab and disappearing if she saw Ethan see her) up into the lab, and revealing that her father's been killed in the fighting at the blockade. Ethan, being a real bonehead (much like I was at that age) doesn't know how to comfort her properly, so he blurts out his ambition to become strong enough to wipe Team Rocket out someday, which gives Lyra the support of a comrade, if you will, and she begins training with Ethan so they can both become stronger and take on the Johto League (which is an Elite Four I set up so that Trainers in Johto still have a shot at the Pokemon League).


So that's why I focus on Sneasel and Professor Elm's interest in it. I'm sure I could find another way to do what I'm trying to do, but that's the one that made the most sense in my head.


Spoiler:
Ironically, Ash is like that. I mean the way you're describing the character, since you want to use his mindset. AKA, being a complete doofus, can't tie his own shoes without yelling Thunderbolt, can't put 2 and 2 together (literally), etc. He also loses his temper easily, like when he met Paul in Sinnoh. I swear every time they met, Ash tried to act cool and Paul called him a loser and voila, Pokemon battle! The same goes with Trip, because that prick calls Ash a hick all the time. Come on Trip, get some new insults. Red neck jokes get old. Anyway, your character wants revenge? That's a different meal. Revenge is a meal best served cold. That's a big tone, in my opinion. The antagonist would have to do something more than just piss him off. It would be interesting to see his demeanor change as he continually meets his rival and his Sneasel feeds off that dark personality. And then they keep adding their negative influence, so you get some really messed up character. And that's freaking awesome. Now that does complicate things since you want that goody goody stuff in him. I mean, the only thing you can really do is change him. Don't make him be like Ash, a snot-nosed, selfish kid, and make him really chill or something. Either way, you'll figure something out.


That's really good advice, yeah. In light of what's above in my spoiler'd sections, I wanted to sort of keep Ethan friendly enough and outgoing enough to not alienate the supporting protagonist, even though both of them are motivated by revenge. I haven't really imagined any sort of rival for Ethan except the supporting protagonist, and it's not one of the Gold/Silver type of rivalries where the rival is someone who is the polar opposite of the protagonist, regardless of their reasoning.
Spoiler:
I do plan on having parts of Johto be more Rocket-friendly, such as Mahogany Town, but it'll definitely be a subsurface support, because I'm making Pryce a part of the Johto Elite Four, and having Silver take his place at his Gym. I don't see how an evil rival would do the story any good though, since I already have a friend/rival in Lyra for Ethan.

I definitely want the situation they're both in to slowly change him, but I guess I'd rather him turn into a rather dark hero who still knows where he stands on his values and beliefs (they can change, I just want him to know them) even though he's become so jaded and hurt by all the stuff that will happen to him over the story rather than turn from a mostly happy character to a sort of anti-hero (if that made any sense whatsoever). So this paragraph is mainly a sounding board. XD


Spoiler:
Oh, one last topic: Eggs. Nah, that's not a big deal. Pokemon are practically worshipped in their world, so receiving a Pokemon egg is like catching one without the effort. The problem is how they receive the egg, but you won't reveal the plot so there's nothing else I can say.


Okay, so how about
Spoiler:
Ethan and Lyra becoming horribly lost in Ilex Forest, only to be found and rescued by a very badly injured Celebi, who, upon teleporting them to the exit of the forest, gives Lyra its egg, and then fades away (still working on a way to not make that sound cheesy. Maybe a bit of time travel is needed?)

Because that's how I've envisioned Lyra getting the egg of said rare Pokemon. Does that sound too cliche or too... I don't know, badfic-y?


Yeah, I finished! I'm so happy. Well, now I wasted about 10 minutes typing and doing nothing but help other people, when I should study. But studying is really boring and I prefer writing and reviewing and that stuff. Oh well. Big woop. Good luck with your story and I'll be looking forward to reading it!

Bah, time's never wasted when you're doing something you enjoy.

FourCartridge February 27th, 2012 7:35 PM

Well, thanks psyanic. But now that that I think about it, I need a few final things solved before I feel I'm ready to continue with the fic:


Spoiler:
Well, I have the basic plot charted out: Greg lands in Unova, encounters Juniper and Fennel who try to get him home, Greg treks through Unova to get parts for the portal, ultimately needing a part that Team Plasma and N needs to fulfill their plans of awaking the dragon and separating humans and Pokemon, and opposes them to get the final piece for the way home. I'm worried about the thought that it's going to be anti-climatic. Greg really doesn't give a care about Pokemon, as his only real experience of them before he meets his Zoroark sidekick are several creatures trying to maul him, and because of this he really only opposes Team Plasma because they're more or less "in the way". I choose to set the fic in Unova because there's a lot of potential for tension between an organization dedicated to liberating Pokemon(though Ghetsis plans otherwise) and someone who's experience with Pokemon is pretty much like Greg's.

The whole reality morality vs. fictional morality is a good central theme now that the hero doesn't battle with Pokemon, with the knight in shining armor Zoroark sidekick providing a good POV from the other side of Greg's reality morality views, but because Greg in this fic doesn't really care about them, I need the moral to be something different. I have an idea about the conflict between the two sets of morals amounting to the lesson being "your right to wave your fist in the air ends where the other man's nose begins", going by psyanic's fangame quote about hypocrisy in stopping other peoples beliefs, and the other reason being that it's basically the moral of Team Plasma when you take out Pokemon in my opinion, because even though Team Plasma has support for their goals, there's a good amount of people in Unova that cherish their relationships with Pokemon. Because this theme of the fic basically amounts to a moral argument, How do I set this up to a satisfying emotional climax? An idea comes to mind about Greg teaming up with Kyurem because he realises that if the sturggle between Truth and Ideals continues, it will just end up tearing Unova apart and tries to end it once and for all, but I don't think that ties in well with the planned moral above. Ideas? Comments? Help?

Then, I kinda want to stick to Greg's original stick of him braving Unova more or less without the help of Pokemon. I realize that whenever a human gets involved in a fight it instantly turns dark, but Greg's going to run into trouble sooner or later. I realize that wild Pokemon won't attack him if he leaves them alone, but the bad guys are a different story. Say for example the little Hunter J arc I have planned out as a conclusion for Greg's encounters with the Musketeers: J unintentionally saves Greg during one of Greg's run ins with them, and thanks to his lack of knowledge about the Pokemon world, agrees to help her out. Juniper and Fennel contact him about how she's a callous poacher, and Greg basically spies on her for the next chapter or so in order to get another piece for the portal. When he finally gets it, he decides to let the airship's captured Pokemon out to wreck up J. She finds out about his actions, and this leads into an encounter. Basically what I'm asking is, how does Greg fight those types of encounters out while still keeping tone? I understand that by doing this I'm walking a very narrow tightrope here, and I could use some help about this.

And last, I'm kinda worried about this being not really a Pokemon fanfic. When it comes down to it, the fic is focused on Greg, who isn't a trainer. Because I plan on him giving out the moral I wrote about, I want him to learn one in return. Like I wrote before, I want it to be 'you don't know what you have till it's gone" because Greg has pretty much been yanked out of his life that he kinda took for granted. How do I balance out the fic having that special Pokemon touch while simultaneously being the story of a man struggling against a strange and dangerous world in order to get back the things he holds dear?


Once again thank you for the help you guys have been giving me.

psyanic February 28th, 2012 8:09 PM

My, my, my. My. So many people to help! Yes, two is a lot in my book. I don't have very high standards. That's just depressing... These spoiler tags are annoying me now. Boo~

Okay, so first at dbcification:

Your Sneasel idea is still a bit off. I think the point of training Pokemon is to make Pokemon stronger. Being different doesn't necessarily help it. Looking for the perfect Pokemon is like finding your special other. Your special other is not perfect, I'll tell you that right now. It's all about looking for the person you can see in the perfect light. Stop looking for the perfect thing, make it perfect for you. The Sneasel should be perfect for the trainer. It should be like a match. Studying abnormal behavior (which is really subjective in my opinion) in Pokemon is, like I said before, trying to figure out what a normal person is like. It's impossible to do that because everybody is different. Honestly, making Sneasel so "special" makes the idea of it seem forced. Try to work in the canon. I know I mentioned this before, but I'm really starting to like the idea of Professor Elm wanting to study how Pokemon born/raised in captivity differ from those in the wild. It's just more logical.

I know you want Team Rocket to be stronger than usual, but taking over regions just isn't realistic. Team Rocket is as strong as they are depending on your world. That's part of world building. Make them how you want them to be, don't judge them based on the games. Look at a few other works of fanfiction. If you can't find any decent ones, just message me or Google, or even Bing if you're feeling lucky. A few have Team Rocket and they're not exactly wimps, but trainers aren't looking for the perfect Pokemon. They just battle them or fight against them the way they always do, with their normally trained Pokemon.

Okay, so for the whole Ilex Forest thing. I mean, that's not a bad idea as long as the writing is solid. Then again, that's the case for anything really. I never heard of Celebi laying an egg to begin with. What's more important is why is it injured? And why would it trust the duo with an egg? It's not the fact that it just disappears, but more of the fact that its introduction and its behavior act more in canon.

Yeah, no spoiler tags. I'm being a rebel.

And now for FourCartridge! Yay! Even though he's probably getting tired of my rants... Oh well. He'll just deal with it.

Spoiler:

The emotional climax will definitely be the battle with N. Not sure what dragon's hero he'd be, but I think it would definitely set a tone. Even more, Ghetsis controlling one would show the hypocrisy of Team Plasma. There is the truth about Pokemon's nature and their abuse, whereas there is also the ideal of living without Pokemon. So you have a few options to go with here and I'll leave that to you. And stories can have multiple themes, though these morals are a bit unrelated. Zoroark could remind him of his wife or something, since it could probably change forms to his wife and he'd miss her, emotions here, etc. We're just assuming Zoroark can read minds or saw Greg's wife in a picture that was in his wallet. That could be an underlying theme.

For the Hunter J ordeal, using a Pokemon as a sidekick would pretty much balance the really negative tone. I mean, Greg wouldn't go up to her and hit her would he? If that happened, this might as well not be a Pokemon fic but more of an original fiction. Using Pokemon would balance the mood and remind readers that it is, in fact, a Pokemon fic. Greg doesn't really look like the type to learn that moral. His values are really ambiguous. He seems really bored with his life, which I'm think you're trying to get this across, but knowing what he's missing would require some interaction with things he is missing. That sounded backwards. He has to miss something. That's all the emotions and all, but it's actually not that relevant with the overall plot. He wants to go home. He wants what he is missing. He'd have to have some epiphany later on, and he wouldn't want to go home to begin with. Maybe he'd realize that this world was perfectly fine because nothing too bad happened, until Team Plasma entered his world so he tried changing that, but realized that what he really wanted was his life again. Changing Unova made him realize that he could change his own life as well.


Geez, you ask some hard questions. It makes my brain shed a few pounds, which isn't good if you think about it literally.

Gothitelle. February 28th, 2012 9:33 PM

I had an idea here and I'll write it out;

(this one is very weird so bare with me)

Out of revenge for being the main reason for hating herself, Palkia wraps the moon to a different dimension. As Palkia sits back and enjoys her suffering, Cresselia is distraught over the moon's disappearance and angrily orders her underlings to search for it. While Giratina and her friends try to help her cope through this unfortunate situation, the moon goddess feels that she should get to the bottom of the situation. Who would be so vile as to steal the moon?

So she seeks the strongest Pokemon of Unova to use her Psychic powers to align the stars and trace the moon and figure out the culprit.

psyanic February 29th, 2012 6:19 PM

I'm pretty sure you mean "warps" instead of "wraps" here. Now, I'm not entirely clear on Palkia's motive. You word it a bit awkwardly, making it seem like Palkia hates herself out of revenge. I think you mean Cresselia hurt her feelings, but then again, I'm not sure. You might want to clear that up before the story starts though.

I didn't think Cresselia really had a following or grunts or underlings. She's pretty much solo, just like Darkrai. They're both alone for good reason though. Cresselia is like the dream keeper of the Pokemon world, so all she does is fly around. I'm assuming she uses the moon to do her rounds, like Santa Clause flies around all night and only during the night. I think immediately, she'd assume the culprit to be Darkrai. So the story should start around there, accusing Darkrai, while he continually laughs like a cynic. And stuff like that, ya know? Totally a random suggestion, but who knows?

I'm always wondering why people try to make their characters find this Pokemon because it's so powerful. So I hope you do satisfy when it comes to explaining what it is and why it's wanted. It is kind of cheating for Palkia, since she can just hide in one of her dimensions for a while, so I'm interested to see how that'll turn out.

Other than that, I can't say too much. It's a good idea, though a bit quirky, but that's fine. Just make sure to stick to a bit of canon. One thing I appreciate in stories is logic. Good luck!

dbcification March 1st, 2012 3:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7067021)
My, my, my. My. So many people to help! Yes, two is a lot in my book. I don't have very high standards. That's just depressing... These spoiler tags are annoying me now. Boo~

Okay, so first at dbcification:

Your Sneasel idea is still a bit off. I think the point of training Pokemon is to make Pokemon stronger. Being different doesn't necessarily help it. Looking for the perfect Pokemon is like finding your special other. Your special other is not perfect, I'll tell you that right now. It's all about looking for the person you can see in the perfect light. Stop looking for the perfect thing, make it perfect for you. The Sneasel should be perfect for the trainer. It should be like a match. Studying abnormal behavior (which is really subjective in my opinion) in Pokemon is, like I said before, trying to figure out what a normal person is like. It's impossible to do that because everybody is different. Honestly, making Sneasel so "special" makes the idea of it seem forced. Try to work in the canon. I know I mentioned this before, but I'm really starting to like the idea of Professor Elm wanting to study how Pokemon born/raised in captivity differ from those in the wild. It's just more logical.

I know you want Team Rocket to be stronger than usual, but taking over regions just isn't realistic. Team Rocket is as strong as they are depending on your world. That's part of world building. Make them how you want them to be, don't judge them based on the games. Look at a few other works of fanfiction. If you can't find any decent ones, just message me or Google, or even Bing if you're feeling lucky. A few have Team Rocket and they're not exactly wimps, but trainers aren't looking for the perfect Pokemon. They just battle them or fight against them the way they always do, with their normally trained Pokemon.

Okay, so for the whole Ilex Forest thing. I mean, that's not a bad idea as long as the writing is solid. Then again, that's the case for anything really. I never heard of Celebi laying an egg to begin with. What's more important is why is it injured? And why would it trust the duo with an egg? It's not the fact that it just disappears, but more of the fact that its introduction and its behavior act more in canon.

Yeah, no spoiler tags. I'm being a rebel.

Geez, you ask some hard questions. It makes my brain shed a few pounds, which isn't good if you think about it literally.

I've thought on this for a couple days, and I'm going to have to take a few more to figure out my direction with this additional input...

However, I want to ask about my ending/ending third of the story. I just want to say, this is heavy, heavy spoilers ahead. Sorry. :/

Also this is a ridiculously long part, so don't feel as if you have to read it all at once and comment all at once.

Spoiler:
So, the last third of the story is ignited by the death of Lyra. I really don't want to spoil exactly how she dies, because that's one of the most poignant moments in the entire story, but just giving background. Ethan is reeling from her death, and thinking about what to do next. Giovanni has been somehow cranking up the power of his Pokemon to dangerous levels, to the point where Weavile (who evolved from Sneasel during the fight with Silver in Mahogany Town's Gym) can't even hurt Giovanni's Nidoking with Ice Punch.

Before she passes, Lyra gives Ethan her Celebi, who he resolves to release in her honor when the rest of the adventure is over. He releases her other Pokemon on the Routes she found them, after another tearjerky scene of her burial back in New Bark. I'm just going to say, I already wrote those two scenes, and I cried like a sir reading it back. He spends a while in a kind of depressed stupor, then Celebi starts tugging on his arm and he follows it out to Lyra's grave, where it Teleports him to a very dark cave. Celebi starts emitting a soft light, and Ethan follows it. Eventually they come to a sort of conclave.

The powerful Psychic Pokemon, legendary and non-legendary alike are all represented at this meeting. Their minds meld as one, and they telepathically speak to Ethan about the source of Giovanni's power. Time for a history lesson.

When Arceus created the world, it created powerful gemstone eggs, which held the forebears of every type of Pokemon, the common animals, and humans. These early humans, in honor and reverence to Arceus, gathered up the shards of these eggs and forged tablets, pleading with Arceus for its continued favor and protection. They built a temple to house these tablets, which were as big as a full-grown man, and Arceus itself manifested in the temple and set power in the tablets to keep balance over the world while it slept. Some generations later, a group of evil-minded humans stole these tablets, awakening the fury of Arceus. They knew they were as good as dead, but they hated Arceus for the way they were made - equal to Pokemon, which they regarded as mindless beasts. Even so, Arceus spent the energy and fury it had built up in its sleep eradicating these humans, but the damage was done, and Arceus needed to sleep again to rebuild its strength. Its last action before falling into the slumber it has been in ever since, it split the tablets and scattered them across the world.

The plates were lost to time, as was the language used to plead with Arceus. But by an devastating trick of fate, Giovanni stumbled across one of the plates, an Earth Plate, as it were. He studied it, and concluded there must be more out there. He spent countless years tracking them down, but the year of Team Rocket's takeover, he finally found the second half of the Earth Tablet, as well as the Poison Tablet and the Normal Tablet. With those under his control, and Arceus safely slumbering as it had for eons on end, he used the tablets to gain control over the Pokemon governed by said tablets. Not control in a literal sense (something Ethan will have trouble comprehending), but control in that no Pokemon governed by a tablet in Giovanni's possession can put a scratch on him, or on any of his Pokemon.

The Psychic conclave will suggest that Ethan go look for the one Psychic type who's single-handedly stood up to Giovanni and won before, and has the all the same motivations as Ethan does to exact revenge, Mewtwo.

To make a long portion of the story short, Celebi teleports Ethan and co out of the conclave, and Ethan sneaks across the border to Kanto by crossing Mount Silver. In the process, he convinces Red to come out of solo training, and in the ensuing fuss over Red's reappearance, Ethan gets out past the blockade. He makes his way through Mt. Moon, and, guided by memories Red imparted to him, sneaks his way to Cerulean Cave, which the Rockets have sealed off. Ethan's Sandslash (captured in Union Cave in between the first and second Gym challenges) tunnels beneath the Rockets' sealing stone, and Ethan descends to the depth of Cerulean Cave, avoiding the wild Pokemon, who exhibit the full strength that wild Pokemon can attain. At the very bottom, Ethan meets Mewtwo, who is surprised to see another human in its home. It tells Ethan that he is distinctly more powerful than the feckless little Rockets that sealed off the Cave, and asks why Ethan came here, to his doom.

Ethan tells Mewtwo about Giovanni and the tablets, and Mewtwo flies into a rage. It agrees to come with Ethan if Ethan shows it "the power of one worthy to be my partner in my last bid for revenge on my creator." After a very intense battle, Mewtwo calls for Ethan to stop, and teleports them to the outskirts of Saffron City, or, what's left of it. Giovanni destroyed most of the outlying buildings and homes, including the Magnet Train station and Ethan's old neighborhood. He's taken the old Silph Co. building as his headquarters, and Rockets are swarming the place.

Mewtwo, always one for intimidation and flashy tricks, teleports them to the top floor of the building, at the same time releasing a shockwave that blows the roof off of Silph Co. Ethan and Mewtwo meet Giovanni there, and Giovanni reveals that he's collected the Psychic Tablet, and quickly wipes the floor with Mewtwo and turns his attention to Ethan. However, Celebi flies out of its Pokeball and teleports Ethan and the badly injured Mewtwo to a far-off ruined temple, which turns out to be both the Sinjoh Ruins and the Temple where the Tablets were kept. Celebi, however, is overwhelmed by Giovanni's Pokemon, and is captured.

Once in the Sinjoh Ruins, Mewtwo understands the true nature of Giovanni's threat, and tells Ethan how to get out of the ruins to the Sinnoh side, and where to find, and hopefully awaken, Arceus. Mewtwo stays behind, and uses the residual energy in the Temple to amplify its psychic power to send out a telepathic message to all the legendary Pokemon, informing them of Giovanni's plot and Ethan's mission. Meanwhile, Ethan emerges in a crypt beneath the Solaceon Ruins, and after a few moments of confusion, emerges into the Library itself. He goes to the Pokemon Center to look at a map of Sinnoh to find out how to get to the Hall of Origin, without success. He decides to stay the night in said Pokemon Center, only to be visited in his dreams telepathically by several Pokemon, ranging from the Lake Guardians, to Darkrai and Cresselia. None of them mean him any harm, and appear to him in the dream to speak to him about the Hall of Origin, and moreover, the key to the Hall, the Azure Flute.

The next morning, word of his emergence from the ruins attracts Cynthia, who, upon hearing the full story of his journey and dream, leads him to Celestic Town, where she retrieves the Flute. However, she won't give it to him without putting him to the test, and their original Pokemon square off (Garchomp v Weavile). Weavile, being both a very strong Pokemon and an Ice type, easily defeats Garchomp, but doesn't strike it when it's downed, instead waiting for it to get back up before resuming the battle without being told to by Ethan (not the first time Weavile/Sneasel shows mercy, but one of the few he does so without input from Ethan). This strikes Cynthia as noteworthy, and she gives Ethan the Flute in exchange for taking her to the Hall of Origin as well, to ensure he means absolutely no harm to Arceus.

They make their way to the Spear Pillar, where Dialga and Palkia are waiting. This surprises Cynthia, as she clearly was expecting the Spear Pillar to be empty. She then admits that if they weren't there, the Flute wouldn't have worked anyway, since it needs their song in harmony with it to open the way to the Hall of Origin. Ethan plays the Flute via impulse, and Dialga and Palkia begin humming along in harmony. As the song goes on, their song varies, and they take on a mournful sound. Eventually, Ethan finishes, and opens his eyes to see a glowing stairway leading up beyond the clouds where previously there had only been a sharp drop to the bottom of Mount Coronet. Ethan begins to walk up it, but stops as Cynthia doesn't follow. He begins to ask, but a Voice tells him that only the one who played the Flute and has been admitted can enter. Cynthia, upon questioning, admits she knew it, and that it was another test.

Ethan marches up the stairway, going up past the clouds to beyond the edge of the atmosphere, even higher than Rayquaza flies. And there, he meets Arceus. Arceus appears as every Pokemon ever seen and recorded, as well as many Ethan's never seen in any database, as well as a swirling mist, a raging fire, and Arceus' true form, with its many arms curled around it. Arceus judges Ethan there on the spot, and wakes up, descending and manifesting itself in the form shown in canon. Arceus then speaks to Ethan, and I haven't worked this conversation out, but it ends in Arceus destroying all the plates and reassembled tablets, transporting Ethan to the top of Mount Silver, giving him the authority to remove Giovanni from power, and returning to its slumber.

Ethan then descends, and passes through the blockade, marching down from Cerulean to Saffron. Then comes the final battle, which I haven't decided on how to execute. However, Giovanni will die. That much I've decided on.


Any thoughts on this massive amount of text would be appreciated.

psyanic March 1st, 2012 5:09 PM

Haha! Long things to read fills me with glee. That sounded better in my head. And no! Another spoiler tag... Nah, who cares. I'm wondering how long it'll take for me to fully respond to everything. Here I go!

Spoiler:

Interesting thing with Lyra and all. Although, now I'm starting to wonder why you're even using Ethan/Lyra since you could just use an original character. I don't really know. It's just something that somehow bothers me at times. Sure, they're technically you in the games, but it's just so overused and so many personalities, I don't see the point of using them anymore really. I guess it's easier to identify with readers, but whatever. If you don't want to use them, it'll be pretty easy to use an original character because of how their personalities are pretty much the same since they don't have any. That's just my opinion in there, totally not relevant with the monster post.

I'm wondering how Giovanni made his Nidoking so strong. In that case, all his Pokemon would be that way. It's probably the tablets, which actually do boost a Pokemon's attack, depending on type though. Woo-hoo, canon!

I can't say much about the whole history thing. That's really up to you. I'm a bit worried about the whole "Psychic Pokemon all morph to talk to Ethan" thing. It's better to use a single character, partially because that is totally freaky. Not exactly in a bad way, but it's just really farfetched. It would be better to just introduce Mewtwo. Celebi would know, since Mewtwo could just tell it telepathically and Celebi would know its cave (Cerulean Cave? Maybe? Yes?!), and yeah. Mewtwo is smart too, at least that's how I thought of it. Now, that does screw up your whole going into Cerulean Cave ordeal. But honestly, Mewtwo already aware of the whole Rocket situation makes more sense. I mean come on, in a few parts of the anime, Mewtwo is shown running around a few cities and watching them, making sure they're safe. I'm sure it would notice something odd if Giovanni suddenly rose to power. Think about it. Its creator is running around destroying everything, and Mewtwo hates its creator. And the whole "proving yourself" thing is getting overused, especially since you use it again when you have Cynthia doing it too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a Pokemon asking for help, even if it's Mewtwo. Also, meeting with Red looked pointless. I know he's really cool and a badass, but if he doesn't do anything important, keep him out. He's just a dude on a mountain, and probably hungry. Nothing really special about it. If you want other people to take notice, and they totally will, try using some other trainers who want to do good, or Gym Leaders, even the Elite Four and the Champion. Most fics present Gym Leaders/E4/Champions as pivotal figures in fighting crime, and that makes sense. They're role models and that's just what they do. Don't forget the local police too. They need some love, even though Giovanni would probably take them apart.

What happens with Celebi when they teleport from Silph Co.? I'm guessing that Celebi doesn't teleport with them. In that case, I think it really adds to the tone if Celebi dies. Being captured.. yeah not too much. But if it dies, it really gives the story a sense of hopelessness and tragedy. As for Ethan's dreaming, I think it would be best if only Cresselia/Darkrai appeared. They both represent dreams and nightmares, so it makes more sense if they just appear. The Lake Guardians would look too forced if they were present. Anyway, Cresselia gives good dreams, Darkrai gives nightmares, so I think they'd cancel each other out to give Ethan a regular old dream, if that makes sense.

Okay, onto Cynthia. It's best if Weavile and Garchomp are more evenly matched. Remember, Cynthia has trained for who knows how long, but she's a Champion. Ethan has been a trainer for maybe a year. A type advantage is nothing compared to battle aptitude. Look at the anime: Ash wins a lot even with type disadvantages, and loses with advantages. I think it would contribute more to the fic if Garchomp and Weavile are so evenly matched and just duke it out for a bit. You know, they're both pretty darn fast and hit hard, just Garchomp is more bulky and Weavile is more agile, so then eventually maybe Weavile comes out on top and doesn't deliver a final hit and instead, collapses next to its combatant. More suspense is in there, and a lot more emotion into the battle, which is what you really want to get across. It's like coming of age in full bloom at the scene.

And now with the Hall of Origin. Don't keep trying to force in those legendaries. Sure, Dialga and Palkia are important, but it's better if they just aren't there. It's too forced and they don't do anything, except really minor plot devices. Take 'em out. It's all Arceus's show now. And in the real game event, they don't appear either. And being picky here again, but why are you using a voice to tell Ethan that only one can proceed? Cynthia is a history junky and I'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy to tell him why she won't follow him into the hall. And what's with Arceus? I know that it's a God and all, but the description is really weird, given that it actually has a physical appearance. And the appearance is also static. Arceus isn't a doppelganger, just a sleepy creator. Keep it in context so you don't seriously freak out readers with your arms and flames and everything. It's fine if you want to make his resting place all special and crazy, but not Arceus itself. Arceus doesn't really have arms. Other than that, the plot idea is all right, except Arceus needs the tablets to fully utilize its powers, evident in the Arceus movie. It's a different story if the plates are already there though. Or you know, whatever you want to do. I'm mainly thinking in canon here, but it's fine if you don't want to use it, just don't stray too far off.

And the final battle. Game time, baby. It's all seriousness here. The final battle is the climax. It's everything you've worked on. This is the big moment. The actual battle? It surely wouldn't be a full battle. The Pokemon world is resting on Ethan's shoulders and the pressure is everywhere. It's emotional, dramatic, and destructive. It could work if they were on top of Silph Co., so Giovanni could fall and die. But Silph Co. is getting overused I suppose. Another thing that could work would be battling at the train station, and somehow either Ethan's or Giovanni's Pokemon sends the magnet train flying at Giovanni and kills him. These are just a few random ideas. Hopefully, they gave you something else to work with.

Ah, didn't take too long. Only about thirty minutes, the writing process anyway. The plot certainly thickens but it all means nothing if the prose or something is off. Remember, plot isn't all of writing. While it is a good idea to plan, too much planning may cause you not to write much at all. Well, that weird advice aside, I hope that my input gave you some new ideas and that you're more prepared to start your story!

dbcification March 1st, 2012 5:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7069130)
Haha! Long things to read fills me with glee. That sounded better in my head. And no! Another spoiler tag... Nah, who cares. I'm wondering how long it'll take for me to fully respond to everything. Here I go!

Spoiler:

Interesting thing with Lyra and all. Although, now I'm starting to wonder why you're even using Ethan/Lyra since you could just use an original character. I don't really know. It's just something that somehow bothers me at times. Sure, they're technically you in the games, but it's just so overused and so many personalities, I don't see the point of using them anymore really. I guess it's easier to identify with readers, but whatever. If you don't want to use them, it'll be pretty easy to use an original character because of how their personalities are pretty much the same since they don't have any. That's just my opinion in there, totally not relevant with the monster post.

I'm wondering how Giovanni made his Nidoking so strong. In that case, all his Pokemon would be that way. It's probably the tablets, which actually do boost a Pokemon's attack, depending on type though. Woo-hoo, canon!

I can't say much about the whole history thing. That's really up to you. I'm a bit worried about the whole "Psychic Pokemon all morph to talk to Ethan" thing. It's better to use a single character, partially because that is totally freaky. Not exactly in a bad way, but it's just really farfetched. It would be better to just introduce Mewtwo. Celebi would know, since Mewtwo could just tell it telepathically and Celebi would know its cave (Cerulean Cave? Maybe? Yes?!), and yeah. Mewtwo is smart too, at least that's how I thought of it. Now, that does screw up your whole going into Cerulean Cave ordeal. But honestly, Mewtwo already aware of the whole Rocket situation makes more sense. I mean come on, in a few parts of the anime, Mewtwo is shown running around a few cities and watching them, making sure they're safe. I'm sure it would notice something odd if Giovanni suddenly rose to power. Think about it. Its creator is running around destroying everything, and Mewtwo hates its creator. And the whole "proving yourself" thing is getting overused, especially since you use it again when you have Cynthia doing it too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a Pokemon asking for help, even if it's Mewtwo. Also, meeting with Red looked pointless. I know he's really cool and a badass, but if he doesn't do anything important, keep him out. He's just a dude on a mountain, and probably hungry. Nothing really special about it. If you want other people to take notice, and they totally will, try using some other trainers who want to do good, or Gym Leaders, even the Elite Four and the Champion. Most fics present Gym Leaders/E4/Champions as pivotal figures in fighting crime, and that makes sense. They're role models and that's just what they do. Don't forget the local police too. They need some love, even though Giovanni would probably take them apart.

What happens with Celebi when they teleport from Silph Co.? I'm guessing that Celebi doesn't teleport with them. In that case, I think it really adds to the tone if Celebi dies. Being captured.. yeah not too much. But if it dies, it really gives the story a sense of hopelessness and tragedy. As for Ethan's dreaming, I think it would be best if only Cresselia/Darkrai appeared. They both represent dreams and nightmares, so it makes more sense if they just appear. The Lake Guardians would look too forced if they were present. Anyway, Cresselia gives good dreams, Darkrai gives nightmares, so I think they'd cancel each other out to give Ethan a regular old dream, if that makes sense.

Okay, onto Cynthia. It's best if Weavile and Garchomp are more evenly matched. Remember, Cynthia has trained for who knows how long, but she's a Champion. Ethan has been a trainer for maybe a year. A type advantage is nothing compared to battle aptitude. Look at the anime: Ash wins a lot even with type disadvantages, and loses with advantages. I think it would contribute more to the fic if Garchomp and Weavile are so evenly matched and just duke it out for a bit. You know, they're both pretty darn fast and hit hard, just Garchomp is more bulky and Weavile is more agile, so then eventually maybe Weavile comes out on top and doesn't deliver a final hit and instead, collapses next to its combatant. More suspense is in there, and a lot more emotion into the battle, which is what you really want to get across. It's like coming of age in full bloom at the scene.

And now with the Hall of Origin. Don't keep trying to force in those legendaries. Sure, Dialga and Palkia are important, but it's better if they just aren't there. It's too forced and they don't do anything, except really minor plot devices. Take 'em out. It's all Arceus's show now. And in the real game event, they don't appear either. And being picky here again, but why are you using a voice to tell Ethan that only one can proceed? Cynthia is a history junky and I'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy to tell him why she won't follow him into the hall. And what's with Arceus? I know that it's a God and all, but the description is really weird, given that it actually has a physical appearance. And the appearance is also static. Arceus isn't a doppelganger, just a sleepy creator. Keep it in context so you don't seriously freak out readers with your arms and flames and everything. It's fine if you want to make his resting place all special and crazy, but not Arceus itself. Arceus doesn't really have arms. Other than that, the plot idea is all right, except Arceus needs the tablets to fully utilize its powers, evident in the Arceus movie. It's a different story if the plates are already there though. Or you know, whatever you want to do. I'm mainly thinking in canon here, but it's fine if you don't want to use it, just don't stray too far off.

And the final battle. Game time, baby. It's all seriousness here. The final battle is the climax. It's everything you've worked on. This is the big moment. The actual battle? It surely wouldn't be a full battle. The Pokemon world is resting on Ethan's shoulders and the pressure is everywhere. It's emotional, dramatic, and destructive. It could work if they were on top of Silph Co., so Giovanni could fall and die. But Silph Co. is getting overused I suppose. Another thing that could work would be battling at the train station, and somehow either Ethan's or Giovanni's Pokemon sends the magnet train flying at Giovanni and kills him. These are just a few random ideas. Hopefully, they gave you something else to work with.

Ah, didn't take too long. Only about thirty minutes, the writing process anyway. The plot certainly thickens but it all means nothing if the prose or something is off. Remember, plot isn't all of writing. While it is a good idea to plan, too much planning may cause you not to write much at all. Well, that weird advice aside, I hope that my input gave you some new ideas and that you're more prepared to start your story!

Geez.... Replying on my iPod, so the spoilers are really acting up.


In general, I'm glad I posted this because you can help temper my ideas. I was worried about the amount of legendaries, and upon thinking it over, I don't know why I wrote that Celebi was caught.


Spoiler:
As for Arceus, I took the arm thing from the Pokedex entry about it forming the world with its thousand arms, the fire part from a the description of God from.. Well, somewhere in the Bible, I thought it fit. Anyway, I guess having a static image works, but I want to show that Arceus is pissed, so that's why I chose the freaky description. I'm also going to read a few final battles from other stories/fics to get a few ideas, but I think this should really ultimately be my last expression of the whole story.



I see your points on Cynthia and the Psychic type gathering, it does seem a bit odd... In my defense, I barely played Gen IV except for Heart Gold, so most of my knowledge of Cynthia is hurriedly Bulbapedia'd.


As a last note on the Ethan/Lyra name choice... It actually started off as a set of placeholder names, but as I wrote and imagined and experienced the story with and through them, I really got attached to them as characters in their own right, and I think after I start posting the story, you'll see that as well. This may be a bit weird, but on occasion, I will sort of get in character and answer for/through them to sort of flesh them out. If its weird... Meh, I don't care, it works. :P


Whew, that took about twenty minutes on my iPod.

Gothitelle. March 1st, 2012 8:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7068136)
I'm pretty sure you mean "warps" instead of "wraps" here. Now, I'm not entirely clear on Palkia's motive. You word it a bit awkwardly, making it seem like Palkia hates herself out of revenge. I think you mean Cresselia hurt her feelings, but then again, I'm not sure. You might want to clear that up before the story starts though.

I didn't think Cresselia really had a following or grunts or underlings. She's pretty much solo, just like Darkrai. They're both alone for good reason though. Cresselia is like the dream keeper of the Pokemon world, so all she does is fly around. I'm assuming she uses the moon to do her rounds, like Santa Clause flies around all night and only during the night. I think immediately, she'd assume the culprit to be Darkrai. So the story should start around there, accusing Darkrai, while he continually laughs like a cynic. And stuff like that, ya know? Totally a random suggestion, but who knows?

I'm always wondering why people try to make their characters find this Pokemon because it's so powerful. So I hope you do satisfy when it comes to explaining what it is and why it's wanted. It is kind of cheating for Palkia, since she can just hide in one of her dimensions for a while, so I'm interested to see how that'll turn out.

Other than that, I can't say too much. It's a good idea, though a bit quirky, but that's fine. Just make sure to stick to a bit of canon. One thing I appreciate in stories is logic. Good luck!

Yeah I meant to say warps lol

In my Pokeverse here, Palkia was teased by Cresselia because of her powers. So in the current story I'm writing now, Palkia got to see just how powerful she really is. So in this idea, she starts to get angry with Cresselia for teasing her all this time. That's why she warps the moon in this idea.

Oh as for the Pokemon being sought out, it's not only because she's powerful but she has the ability to align the stars and feel the dimensions with her psychic abilities.

Iceshadow3317 March 15th, 2012 2:29 PM

Hey guys for a long time I have wanted to write a pokemon story. I have tried many times,but was never successful in finishing it. So this time,I came with a diffrent approach. Having 2 main characters who start and travel together. I also finaly have a more pokemon anime like style,but also a real storyline. Of course their will be rivals,but haven't gotten that far yet. So I help in seeing if this will be any good. And hopefully it doesn't follow any movies.

Spoiler:

Name: Ayliara
Age: 15
Appearence: Ayliara is a 15 year old teen girl. She wears purple most of the time. She is a tomboy,but can be a girly girl when she wants to be. She has long dark brown hair and baby blue eyes.
History: Ayliara has always loved pokemon. She has dreamed of becoming a pokemon trainer sense her father and mother told her about them when she was a year old. Here goal is to become a pokemon master. She starts her journey side by side with her bestest friend in the world she can tell anything to.

Name: Dalex
Age: 15
Appearence: Dalex is a 15 year old teen boy. He wears crimsion red most of the time,but will sometimes wears blue. He is a normal boy who plays many sports, but with his torn muscle in his leg,he hasn't been able to play them much. He is a little big,but also fairly muscular. He has very dark brown hair that is almost black and Hazel eyes.
History: Dalex has loved pokemon sense as long as he could remember. He is best friends with Ayliara. Dalex was suppose to have started his journey 6 months ago,but promised to wait for Ayliara. Dalex is also known as one of the nicest people in the region and mostly all the people in the region know and love him. Dalex's dream is to become a pokemon master and try his best to help people and pokemon in need. He also loves taking photos of his friends and family and landscapes and pokemon.

Setting: Dalex and Ayliara live is a small region far south of Unova. It is a mainly woodland area. The capitol of the region has a river that goes right through the city, There is a lot of hills and not much major water sources other the the lake and the river,which both are fairly big. There are many ponds and creeks. There is one mountain to the north part of the region. But,a group named Team Shadow has formed and is getting ready to attempt to take over the region by attacking towns at night and stealing pokemon. There really is only a Summer and Winter in this region. It's eather summer weather or winter. Althought they go through all 4 seasons. History of the Region: Celsinic Region is home to Ayliara and Dalex. The evil orginization known as Team Shadow has formed in order to rule over the region. Not much is know other than they use Dark.Psy,and Ghost type pokemon to attack other trainers and steal pokemon from the trainers. Their real ambition is unknow at this moment in time. There was also a Civil War that tore the region into 4 parts. Althought there has not been any problems in over 100 years. Old rivals still burn deep. And with the movement of Team Shadow. The Region is on the breack of another war.

History of the Region: Celsinic Region is home to Ayliara and Dalex. The evil orginization known as Team Shadow has formed in order to rule over the region. Not much is known other than they use Dark.Psy,and Ghost type pokemon to attack other trainers and steal pokemon from the trainers. Their real ambition is unknow at this moment in time. There was also a Civil War that tore the region into 4 parts. Althought there has not been any problems in over 100 years. Old rivals still burn deep. And with the movement of Team Shadow. The Region is on the breack of another war. All this happens as the Dalex and Ayliara start their journey. There is a reason for Dalex waiting for Ayliara,but not know to them. Dalex and Ayliara must win the badges of the region and win passage through the city that has been split into 4 parts. In the middles lies the arena. They must win and face the leader of Team Shadow. Fights break out among the people of the region as old hatreds boil to the surface. The region thrown into turmoil and it is up to Dalex and Ayliara and all their friends to save the region from a Civil War that will destroy the region.

psyanic March 15th, 2012 3:22 PM

Glad to see you want to write stories! Welcome to FF&W and the magical world of writing Pokemon fics!

Before I say anything about what you wrote down, you might want to check your spelling and grammar and basic mechanics. Just from what you said, you don't space after commas, don't spell things correctly, using the wrong "their, they're, there", etc. So before you post, save readers the trouble of those errors so they can read it enjoyably and without too much of a hassle.

Sorry to tell you but having not one but two trainers traveling together is not something unspeakably new. It's a slightly different approach, but it's still pretty darn close to standard anyway.

Okay, so now you outlined us the characters. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes new writers tend to make. Do not save readers the trouble and try listing out random facts about your characters. You have appearances, and in stories, you usually don't bother with them. They're not important. Readers don't read because the main character is sexy. They read because the characters are interesting and have some kind of personality, which supplements a good ole plot. When you start telling us Dalex is 5'11, the first thing people think will be, "So what? Who cares?" Don't make that mistake. The same goes with the history. Unless it's completely vital to the plot, don't bother. It's also unimportant. Of course, if it somehow shapes how the character interacts because of a bad experience, then yeah, say something about it. But don't give us an biography on all the useless information.

And finally, you don't tell us much about the plot at all. You tell us everything but the plot, actually. Characters, setting, no plot. So there isn't much to say about that. I can only guess the two characters will travel Unova, get badges, conquer the Pokemon league while they beat Team Shadow.

Fixedthe_Fernback March 17th, 2012 9:56 PM

So, I'm new to these forums and relatively new to writing fiction as well. More or so, re-introduced to writing. It's been years since I've actively applied my thoughts creatively into any literate format. However, I recently found myself ready to write and have had a lot of ideas being thrown around in my head with an equal amount of difficulty bringing any of them to full form.

Anyways, one of the ideas I'm working on is a tragic comedy about a wanna-be/would-be superhero named Char Man. Whether or not this man will be a Pokemorph or some deprived lunatic running around in a Charmander suit wielding a flamethrower, I haven't decided. I'm currently planning on it being a one-shot, but depending on how much I enjoy writing it and how much more story I can put into it could potentially become a series. The following is a summary for one idea I have related to the character:

Spoiler:
Tentative titles: Charman Origins or The Origins of Charman
39-year old Jonathan Watkins is a brilliant, yet also unstable scientist employed at Silph Co. for most of his adult life. Under achieving and never progressing in his career, he is eventually laid off. He immediately begins plotting his revenge against his former employers, deciding he would become the ultimate villian, he creates a make-shift Pokemon costume and an elaborate flame-thrower technology which accurately allows him to use fire-type Pokemon attacks. However, as he stands in front of the Silph Co. building he finds himself interfering in a mugging and perhaps finding a new purpose for his life, he re-directs his motive for revenge and instead becomes the protector for the city of Saffron. Following months of successful hero work, he will find that the life of a hero comes with great rewards and even greater consequences.


There you have. My love-letter to comic book heroes in all of their glory. Sound off and let me know what you think of my idea!

psyanic March 19th, 2012 6:27 PM

Seriously, what's with the spoilers? :c

The story is quite weird. And different. Very, very different. I can't help but wonder where the logic is in this story. He wants to kill his boss? Okay, I guess that's kind of sensible. I mean, who doesn't? But it's a tad extreme. Next, it's the fact that he's a human and any Pokemon can launch a Hyper Beam or Water Gun at him and he's screwed. Super heroes? Those are your justice trainers or whatever. Come on, trainers take down Team Rocket. Not even the police seem to do their job, so ten year olds with a Squirtle travel around and beat up a crime syndicate. For a person to run around with a flamethrower? What's the good in that in a Pokemon world? It would be slightly more plausible if this story took place in the real world, if at all.

And I'm wondering where the plot actually comes in. He's a lunatic who wants to save the world, whatever. Not my problem. Where's the adversity? People trying to chase him down?

One more question, what kind of idiot is mugging a person in front of Silph Co.? It's obviously populated there and quite a busy street with all the employees coming and going, so I guess you're implying that he sees the mugging way before Silph Co.

Fixedthe_Fernback March 24th, 2012 4:33 PM

@psyanic
Wow, you really tore that idea apart but that's good. You gave me honest critique and it is greatly appreciated, however I disagree with some of your points...

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
The story is quite weird. And different. Very, very different. I can't help but wonder where the logic is in this story.

Yes, it is different for the Pokemon world, at least. I'm simply playing off of things we see more often in the real world, and less in the Pokemon world. Super hero stories are a dime a dozen in real life and it seems strange to me that it isn't a genre explored within Pokemon, especially since there are so many cool creatures and concepts that could be used to create a legitimate hero within the Pokemon world.

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
He wants to kill his boss?Okay, I guess that's kind of sensible. I mean, who doesn't? But it's a tad extreme.

The goal was sabotage, not murder. I'd elaborate further, but that would be a bit spoiler-ish, if the story were to come to fruition anyways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
Next, it's the fact that he's a human and any Pokemon can launch a Hyper Beam or Water Gun at him and he's screwed.

Very, very good point. I'll admit I hadn't considered that yet, but it gives me something to think about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
Super heroes? Those are your justice trainers or whatever. Come on, trainers take down Team Rocket. Not even the police seem to do their job, so ten year olds with a Squirtle travel around and beat up a crime syndicate.

Super heroes, why not? I've honestly always wondered where the logic was in young children battling crime syndicates, and it's seen in every OT/journey fic written. It's over-used and highly unfitting for the kind of story I have in mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
For a person to run around with a flamethrower? What's the good in that in a Pokemon world? It would be slightly more plausible if this story took place in the real world, if at all.

That's why this story won't take place in the tradition Pokemon world. It isn't a traditional Pokemon fan-fic, so I'll likely create my own alternate universe for it to exist within. There aren't any rules against that, as far as I know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
And I'm wondering where the plot actually comes in. He's a lunatic who wants to save the world, whatever. Not my problem. Where's the adversity? People trying to chase him down?

Perhaps you aren't as familiar with the super hero genre as I am, but all self-respecting heroes have a villain of either equal or greater match. He'll have one, and it will ultimately be his un-doing, but I've yet to really decide who or even what it will be. Also, there are matters of the public and law enforcement, and whether or not they will support him or think of him as a menace. They could easily become enemies themselves


Quote:

Originally Posted by psyanic (Post 7091219)
One more question, what kind of idiot is mugging a person in front of Silph Co.? It's obviously populated there and quite a busy street with all the employees coming and going, so I guess you're implying that he sees the mugging way before Silph Co.

Good point, but I pictured that particular scene happening late at night/early in the morning. Perhaps one of the employees from Silph Co. on their way to work or leaving for home. It's definitely a plot point that can and will have a bit more thought put into to it.

Anyways, thanks a lot for giving your insight. While I didn't agree with some of your points, you did offer me a few things to think about, and those are things that will greatly attribute to the story's overall quality.

Kung Fu Ferret April 14th, 2012 9:02 PM

"The Rocket Wars" drawing board.
 
I am planning a new fanfic that I will work on during my Spring Break.

It will be based off an old RP called "Deadly Alliance" from PE2K, created by Dark Amethyst.

In the plot. Ash Ketchum turns to the side of Team Rocket, after Giovanni tricks the ten-year-old into believing that he is Giovanni's son.

Meanwhile, Giovanni has power in the mainlands of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova, having some of his agents eliminate Teams Magma, Aqua, Galactic, and Plasma, then brainwashing the remaining members to join Team Rocket.

Giovanni wants to, obviously, rule the world with an iron fist, killing those who oppose him, and enslaving those who can't stand up to join the growing rebellion.


On a remote Island, victims of the Rockets' tyranny are starting a rebellion, ordered by Arceus. They call themselves "Pokemon Crusaders". So far, the small subgroups in the Crusader base are the White Ninjas (Normal and Flying specialists), the Brown Berserkers (Fighting, Rock, and Ground specialists), the Red Gladiators (Fire specialists), the Green Samurai (Grass and Bug Specialists), the Yellow Spartans (Electric specialists), the Purple Gurus (Psychic, Ghost, and Poison specialists), the Blue Pirates (Water and Ice specialists), the Black Knights (Dark specialists), the Silver Hunters (Steel Specialists), and the Gold Vikings (Dragon specialists).

The two founding leaders of the Crusader rebellion are a young couple whose wedding was forced to be postponed in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy involving a war on the Rockets. Eric Damon watches over the activities of Brown Berserkers, Green Samurai, Purple Gurus, Black Knights, and Gold Vikings. Peggy Owen does so for White Ninjas, Red Gladiators, Yellow Spartans, Blue Pirates, and Silver Hunters.

Each chapter will have two sides: The Rockets and The Crusaders.

Will good triumph over evil? Or will Giovanni finally achieve his goal of world domination?

Read "The Rocket Wars" to find out. Coming soon to PokeCommunity!

Astinus April 15th, 2012 4:28 PM

I don't know where to put this. I would put it in the plot bunny thread, but you seem willing to go with writing this already. And it's not just an announcement for a fic, because you haven't posted it yet.

I'll move this to the plot bunny thread so if you would like opinions on the plot, you can get it there.

But as a general rule, you can't post a thread in the Writer's Lounge just saying that you're going to be posting a fic soon.

Gothitelle. May 25th, 2012 7:16 PM

revenge fics
 
I asked this question on serebii and bulbagarden and got different responses. How can you pull this off?

I had an idea of one. The story takes places a few weeks after a story I'm currently working on called Space lives on my breath. In this upcoming one, Palkia wants to seek revenge on Cresselia, a girl who has been tormenting her for her abilities for the past 3 years. The reason Palkia did this? When Palkia started school, Cresselia has always made fun of her and made her school life miserable. She would call her names, make fun of her spatial abilities, and throw things at her, and even get the other Pokemon to join in. And for those 2 years even when she was at home, Cresselia's words hurt Palkia to the point that she thought she was worthless. When in reality, Cresselia makes fun of Palkia because she dislikes that Palkia was technically the strongest female Pokemon in class when it has always been her. If the other Pokemon knew that then she wouldn't be popular anymore. Plus she felt that she had a better life and better boyfriend than she did. Darkrai mostly comes at night to that's the only time she gets to see him that is until he had to be enrolled in school. During that time in this story, he learns that the time he spends with Cresselia means alot not only to her but it starts to make him better as well.


How she does this is that when Cresselia, her servants and her friends are having a party, she warps the moon to her dimension. Or another revenge plot I had was her messing her up for her party, like ruining her beauty.

Also, she does this because Cresselia has been saying all this time that space was nothing, but in another fic, you'll know that it's not the case.

I know with the moon there are tides involved but will this be reasonable for a revenge fic?

bobandbill May 25th, 2012 10:00 PM

As, tbh, the thread is asking for advice on your story idea rather than discussing revenge fics in general, I'll merge this with the Plot Bunny thread sticky.

Can't say I have anything to add that I didn't see mentioned in the sppf thread either.

y stri June 2nd, 2012 8:23 AM

So . . . I have a small idea for a fic I'm going to write, which is kind of loosely based on the history of Unova. Hopefully, I won't write myself into a corner this time like with all my other fics. For this one, I'm going to write a vague outline / timeline first so the plot doesn't just randomly stop.

Spoiler:
In Unova, they worship three dragons: Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem, known for being extremely destructive. The people don't really revere them but rather fear them because the dragons destroyed the region before, and so they try to satisfy them so they don't raze Unova.

The way to do this is sacrificing people and Pokemon to the dragons. Before any old person or Pokemon can be thrown to Reshiram, Zekrom, or Kyurem, they have to be prepared in an extensive, months-long ritual. In charge of this ritual are three high priests. They are Hilda, Cheren, and Bianca, high priests/esses
in charge of Zekrom, Kyurem, and Reshiram respectively.

Of course, due to their line of work, the three of them don't have any problems at all with dressing up people and Pokemon and giving them to the dragons to eat. In fact, the first rule they learned when trying to become high priests was: "Under no circumstances shall you form a bond with anyone you work with, be it human or Pokemon." They were taught that so the three of them don't get emotionally devastated by sacrificing someone they care about, yes, but it was mostly made so no high priest would try to save one of the sacrificial victims.

And then Hilda has to go off and break that rule. She falls for Cress, one of the people she's in charge off. Yeah, it's pretty much a crack pairing. (Side note: Cress is one of the most vocal about protesting the sacrifice.) With that, she slowly begins to accept the fact that no, what's she's doing is not okay. Meanwhile, Cheren has been studying the dragons and finds something interesting: the God Stone, a legendary artifact that purportedly can tame the feral dragons (Watch it do something totally ironic in Black 2 and White 2 now that I've said it). The location of this strange God Stone is just as legendary, said to rest at the island in the center of Unova, a place where many strange things are reported to occur.

Ever since her revelation, Hilda is hung up on getting there and finding the God Stone. Cheren decides he'll come with her if it works. And Bianca is still a faithful High Priestess, working diligently since The Feeding (yes, it's in all caps) is coming up. Oh, that's right, The Feeding's coming up! They've got what, a month or so until Hilda's love interest and the other plot points die. It's a race against the clock! And what if the God Stone doesn't tame the dragons? Well . . . we'll find out later, since that's all I've figured out.


So, what do you guys think? Please give me feedback on my story idea!

Zayphora June 29th, 2012 5:55 AM

I've got a weird idea for a story that may or may not fail.

Spoiler:
In this story "Hilda" is the main character, but I hate that name, so her name will be Maria. Additionally, "Red" is in this story but I also don't like that name so he will be known as Asher.


Spoiler:
Maria is BORED. She's beat the League, taken down a criminal mastermind, and even helped to round up his followers. So it's not so surprising that a year later, she's feeling a bit of a letdown.

Then Looker comes to call...AGAIN. At first Maria is annoyed. What does he want? He is the last person she would think could cheer her up, but when he tells her his problem, she becomes intrigued. Interpol has sent him to investigate the disappearance of the enigmatic former Kanto champion Asher Red. It's a well known fact to most Trainers that Asher waits atop Mount Silver for powerful trainers to battle him, but a few years ago, he was finally defeated by a girl named Lyra. He hasn't been seen by anyone since, and Interpol has only just noticed this and sent Looker to investigate. And Looker wants Maria to help him.

Feeling like her hope for another adventure has been answered, Maria eagerly sets out for Interpol headquarters with Looker. But all is not what he promised. When they arrive, Maria discovers that Looker was only asking her to accompany him because he didn't want to do it with another girl, known as Midnight. Midnight is experienced in this sort of thing, unlike Looker, but also extremely bossy and a control freak. She insists on coming along, and she and Maria are instantly rivaling.

With Skyla's help, they fly to Kanto, and discover that someone knew they were coming. It seems as if Asher has been leaving clues for them- clues that he knows only they could decipher. What is he trying to do here? And what is Maria supposed to make of the rumors of a super-powerful Ghost-type and a mysterious string of murders happening across the region?

You'll have to read the story to find out!


If you haven't figured it out yet...
Spoiler:
This story is loosely based on what would happen if Hilda and Looker were a part of the legend of Creepy Black.


So, does it have a chance of getting read? Or is it an epic fail?

dracoflare June 29th, 2012 6:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Electricmudkip (Post 7201689)
So . . . I have a small idea for a fic I'm going to write, which is kind of loosely based on the history of Unova. Hopefully, I won't write myself into a corner this time like with all my other fics. For this one, I'm going to write a vague outline / timeline first so the plot doesn't just randomly stop.

Spoiler:
In Unova, they worship three dragons: Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem, known for being extremely destructive. The people don't really revere them but rather fear them because the dragons destroyed the region before, and so they try to satisfy them so they don't raze Unova.

The way to do this is sacrificing people and Pokemon to the dragons. Before any old person or Pokemon can be thrown to Reshiram, Zekrom, or Kyurem, they have to be prepared in an extensive, months-long ritual. In charge of this ritual are three high priests. They are Hilda, Cheren, and Bianca, high priests/esses
in charge of Zekrom, Kyurem, and Reshiram respectively.

Of course, due to their line of work, the three of them don't have any problems at all with dressing up people and Pokemon and giving them to the dragons to eat. In fact, the first rule they learned when trying to become high priests was: "Under no circumstances shall you form a bond with anyone you work with, be it human or Pokemon." They were taught that so the three of them don't get emotionally devastated by sacrificing someone they care about, yes, but it was mostly made so no high priest would try to save one of the sacrificial victims.

And then Hilda has to go off and break that rule. She falls for Cress, one of the people she's in charge off. Yeah, it's pretty much a crack pairing. (Side note: Cress is one of the most vocal about protesting the sacrifice.) With that, she slowly begins to accept the fact that no, what's she's doing is not okay. Meanwhile, Cheren has been studying the dragons and finds something interesting: the God Stone, a legendary artifact that purportedly can tame the feral dragons (Watch it do something totally ironic in Black 2 and White 2 now that I've said it). The location of this strange God Stone is just as legendary, said to rest at the island in the center of Unova, a place where many strange things are reported to occur.

Ever since her revelation, Hilda is hung up on getting there and finding the God Stone. Cheren decides he'll come with her if it works. And Bianca is still a faithful High Priestess, working diligently since The Feeding (yes, it's in all caps) is coming up. Oh, that's right, The Feeding's coming up! They've got what, a month or so until Hilda's love interest and the other plot points die. It's a race against the clock! And what if the God Stone doesn't tame the dragons? Well . . . we'll find out later, since that's all I've figured out.


So, what do you guys think? Please give me feedback on my story idea!

Eh, I don't know if you'll check this thread after a month or something, but I wanted to post something for myself and I felt it is wrong for me to post while no one answered your request yet, so.....
I don't know how helpful I would be but just throwing in my two cents.

Spoiler:
Do the characters have to be Hilda, Bianca and Cheren? I mean you can base them off these three but considering they are high priests in this they must be totally different.

Now this plot can be splendid, but at the same time if you can't convince how a high priestess, who is not supposed to and have not emotionally attached themselves to anyone fall in love with a random guy who protests the ritual which they treat it with utmost respect and all it could fail. But if you can create Hilda's character in such a way that it is possible, like maybe she acted like a rebel among the priestesses when she was a child but was then forced or something like that you can convince in making her fall in love with the hero.

So first and foremost I think you need to develop Hilda's character rather well.
And now let's go to Cheren. He is a priest, and it is fine with a priest doing research(anime do that a lot, IDK about irl priest though). Then why would he give a suggestion as stupid(in a priest's eyes) as taming the dragons itself?

If someone like Cheren got that idea itself won't the people who made the ritual or the people who wanted the inhuman ritual for hundreds(possible eh?) of years?

As a writer you need to fill these holes if you want your characters with that particular background/ Instead you can introduce Cheren as a casual guy who is friends(?) with Hilda.

----------------------------------
With that addressed, there is something I want to try.

I got this idea when I was reading the electric tale of Pikachu--A manga version of the Pokemon anime.

Although it is a manga version of anime,it is quite different. First Ash shows interest in older girls(like Gary's sister) which makes his interaction with Brock more awesome(who is the same). And Misty is slightly more extreme Misty than the anime Misty(from the OS of course).

The best part is they address real life issues like school etc.

Overall the character interactions are funny and Ash does catch few cool Pokemon like Fearow etc.

Now based on this I had an idea.

Spoiler:
Ash is a 10-year old kid who wants to be a Pokemon Master. His first Pokemon will be Pikachu of course, except it won't be the same thing as in the anime or in the manga.(I haven't planned it out yet.)

The character Ash will be the same as the manga. He will mostly be travelling alone instead of a group of three. But Misty, Brock and the other gym leaders and few more characters will keep popping up. And most of all Team Rocket.

I am not planning to have Jessie, James and Meowth but instead Giovanni himself will have several encounters with Ash.

Also Gary will appear a lot more and will be seriously involved. Basically it is a complete rewrite of the OS, except it will have a conclusion.


But the thing is, I am not confident of my writing, so if anyone else wants to take on the project, feel free to inform me. But otherwise, I will write the story by myself(with the help of a beta maybe?)
So do you guys think it's an idea worth trying?

Drgons90 June 29th, 2012 6:35 AM

Ideas?
 
I want to write my stories gere too, so that I may have something to share(I have 3 different stories with 2 notebooks for each, and I wish to write another story here). Well the plot goes like this.

It's a new chapter for Hoenn region. You are a newbie pokemon trainer(let's name it you until I think of a good name). Pokemons from Sinnoh region have weirdly appeared all over, but it wasn't that much of a serious problem. In the midst of peace, a new organization rises. Unlike Magma and Aqua who attempted to control Groudon or Kyogre, this new organization seeks 6 pokemons, the Regi Trio and the Weather Trio.

Well that's all I have to say, I will be the one up to twist it up. I need some feedbacks and the name of course XD. Also, I shall write it in a diary form, but dialogs are something like this:
You: Go Mudkip! Tackle!
Trainer: Uh Poochyena...um..block?

Zayphora June 29th, 2012 6:47 AM

For the name...I'm assuming your character is male, so for some unknown reason I'm going to suggest "Evan". If it is female, I'd suggest Anya, again for the sake of randomness.

Personally I don't think it's a good idea to do dialogs that way. It sounds kind of amateur, like you're cutting corners. Just my opinion :D

Drgons90 June 29th, 2012 6:58 AM

Hmm, it actually takes me longer of I "make the dialogs like this", I don't even know where to place the commas!

"And it's too repetitive", said Evan.
"How certain?", said Anya.
"Very certain.", said Evan.

dracoflare June 29th, 2012 9:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drgons90 (Post 7232725)
Hmm, it actually takes me longer of I "make the dialogs like this", I don't even know where to place the commas!

"And it's too repetitive", said Evan.
"How certain?", said Anya.
"Very certain.", said Evan.

Spoiler:
"And it's too repetitive,"[B]said Evan.
"How certain?"[B]Anya said.
"Very certain,"[B]said Evan.

Well I actually don't know the rules correctly either, I somehow managed to correct them by taking suggestions from people who reviewed my stories.

Also Googling it can help, there are lots of websites to help you.

Don't worry about repetition while writing the word 'said' again and again. It is better than finding the synonyms of 'said' in the dictionary and writing them.

When people read 'said', their brain automatically registers it as a part of the sentence and ignores it most of the time.

But then again don't overuse it, in fact you need not use the action verb more than once or twice unless the speaker doesn't mean what he says or the action is significant.

In a conversation "Go to hell!" can automatically be taken as shouting based on the previous dialogues, you need not say 'she shouted' after the sentence.

Atleast that's what I have realized from reading few novels and some guide books on writing.....


I think I am correct, if I am not then correct me!

Astinus June 29th, 2012 12:26 PM

You're right, Dracoflare! As for the whole using "said" part of your advice, it really depends on the writer. I rarely use any dialogue tags (using action to tell who is speaking), and the ones that I use I mix up instead of just using the same ones. But others like using "said" for each dialogue tag. It's up to the writer, and it's much like everything else. Just know how to use it.

As for your plot, right now it's very basic. It just seems like a usual original trainer fic with only one trainer and fighting off against the boss of the evil team, helped by the rival. It sounds almost like the other Pokemon manga, Special, in a way. Do you have any more details on the plot to mark it different from other OT fics?

But really, a large part of the Electric Tale of Pikachu manga was the humor in it. Capture that humor, and that will make the fic pretty unique in itself.

Well, that and no one seems to remember that Electric Tale of Pikachu exists. So just having a fic based on that is rare.

Drgons90, you do have an interesting idea. Exploring why Sinnoh Pokemon suddenly appear in Hoenn will make for a good plot right there, but with the new team trying for six legendary Pokemon, that's six chases you can make exciting. You say that you have ideas to twist up the plot, and that's good. With the idea to write it as a diary, you just have to remember that that's how you really catch your character's voice. By the way they write and react to things after the fact.

For the dialogue, I'm going to have to agree with Zayphora. Personally, I like the quotation marks over script. But if you want to do script, than that's fine. If you do want to change to the quotation marks, I can certainly help you with any questions you may have on punctuating dialogue tags.

Zayphora June 29th, 2012 3:32 PM

Everyone seems to have forgotten my idea, so I'll post it again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zayphora (Post 7232672)
I've got a weird idea for a story that may or may not fail.

Spoiler:
In this story "Hilda" is the main character, but I hate that name, so her name will be Maria. Additionally, "Red" is in this story but I also don't like that name so he will be known as Asher.


Spoiler:
Maria is BORED. She's beat the League, taken down a criminal mastermind, and even helped to round up his followers. So it's not so surprising that a year later, she's feeling a bit of a letdown.

Then Looker comes to call...AGAIN. At first Maria is annoyed. What does he want? He is the last person she would think could cheer her up, but when he tells her his problem, she becomes intrigued. Interpol has sent him to investigate the disappearance of the enigmatic former Kanto champion Asher Red. It's a well known fact to most Trainers that Asher waits atop Mount Silver for powerful trainers to battle him, but a few years ago, he was finally defeated by a girl named Lyra. He hasn't been seen by anyone since, and Interpol has only just noticed this and sent Looker to investigate. And Looker wants Maria to help him.

Feeling like her hope for another adventure has been answered, Maria eagerly sets out for Interpol headquarters with Looker. But all is not what he promised. When they arrive, Maria discovers that Looker was only asking her to accompany him because he didn't want to do it with another girl, known as Midnight. Midnight is experienced in this sort of thing, unlike Looker, but also extremely bossy and a control freak. She insists on coming along, and she and Maria are instantly rivaling.

With Skyla's help, they fly to Kanto, and discover that someone knew they were coming. It seems as if Asher has been leaving clues for them- clues that he knows only they could decipher. What is he trying to do here? And what is Maria supposed to make of the rumors of a super-powerful Ghost-type and a mysterious string of murders happening across the region?

You'll have to read the story to find out!


If you haven't figured it out yet...
Spoiler:
This story is loosely based on what would happen if Hilda and Looker were a part of the legend of Creepy Black.


So, does it have a chance of getting read? Or is it an epic fail?


Astinus June 29th, 2012 8:57 PM

Yes, that would definitely get read. At least by me.

I never read any creepypastas before, so I had to look up what Creepy Black is. That alone is a good story. To see that a fanfic is going to go deeper and turn the idea into a horror/mystery story is even better.

Personally, I can't think of any advice to give. But in answer to your question, as I said, the fic will be read by at least one person.

bobandbill June 29th, 2012 10:35 PM

As a side note, I am a bit iffy on your decision to rename them. The protagonist maybe not so much as they are namable in the games, I suppose could be argued, but Red to Asher? That seems a somewhat unnecessary change to a canon character (given it seems you're working from the HGSS canon in which is name is established), and might confuse some people too (after all, that's mighty close to Ash, who Red already bears similarities too as well in Pokemon choice etc).

Drgons90 June 30th, 2012 8:31 AM

Well, I'll try to do my best to make it unique. Also, I might not be able to post everyday since I am very busy in real life, but I'm really hoping that the fic can go on endlessly.

As for the humor part, I'm not sure if I can give it some lols, but still I will do my best. I better get started then, you post it at the main forums right?

Another question, I looked through the examples of fanfic written, they all had that [Pokemon] or [Other]. How do you put that? Is it automatic?

psyanic June 30th, 2012 8:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drgons90 (Post 7234124)
Another question, I looked through the examples of fanfic written, they all had that [Pokemon] or [Other]. How do you put that? Is it automatic?

When you start your own thread, you'll notice that there's a thread tag next to where the 'Title:' is. It should be a drop down menu.

y stri June 30th, 2012 9:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dracoflare (Post 7232700)
Eh, I don't know if you'll check this thread after a month or something, but I wanted to post something for myself and I felt it is wrong for me to post while no one answered your request yet, so.....
I don't know how helpful I would be but just throwing in my two cents.

Spoiler:
Do the characters have to be Hilda, Bianca and Cheren? I mean you can base them off these three but considering they are high priests in this they must be totally different.

Now this plot can be splendid, but at the same time if you can't convince how a high priestess, who is not supposed to and have not emotionally attached themselves to anyone fall in love with a random guy who protests the ritual which they treat it with utmost respect and all it could fail. But if you can create Hilda's character in such a way that it is possible, like maybe she acted like a rebel among the priestesses when she was a child but was then forced or something like that you can convince in making her fall in love with the hero.

So first and foremost I think you need to develop Hilda's character rather well.
And now let's go to Cheren. He is a priest, and it is fine with a priest doing research(anime do that a lot, IDK about irl priest though). Then why would he give a suggestion as stupid(in a priest's eyes) as taming the dragons itself?

If someone like Cheren got that idea itself won't the people who made the ritual or the people who wanted the inhuman ritual for hundreds(possible eh?) of years?

As a writer you need to fill these holes if you want your characters with that particular background/ Instead you can introduce Cheren as a casual guy who is friends(?) with Hilda.

I saw this post, and thanks for your input. I guess it's time for me add more stuff to the "character development" list. Eh, I have notes for a reason.

Lavaridge July 3rd, 2012 8:58 AM

Maylee and The World of Pokemon
 
Hi everyone - this is my first post on PokeCommunity and will hopefully lead to my first Pokemon fan fic. I usually write fan fics as screenplays, so I'm quite excited to write this one in story form. I'm trying to write a sort of series of episodes (each a story in itself but with a continuing arc) from the point of view of the main character, Maylee (though in 3rd person). I have the bigger picture sorted out, but the first episode/story is tricky. The plot idea for it is in spoiler tags because I've written a lot and don't want to fill up the page.


Spoiler:
It begins with a prologue – Jake is a trainer battling the Alola Town grass gym leader, Aria. Aria knows she's the first gym leader, there only to separate the weak from the utterly useless, so is more interested in making her gym pleasant on the eyes than she is in appearing intimidating, which later gym leaders will no doubt attempt to be. Aria battles well, but Jake defeats her first Pokemon. Despite the weather outside having been sunny when the battle started, it quickly becomes a storm. Jake and Aria continue to battle but eventually become distracted when thunder, lightning, and objects being carried by the wind become too scary to ignore. The two stand by the huge glass window in awe, before a gust of wind blows through the window and sends them both plummeting to the ground at least a storey below. The reader can assume they are either dead or unconscious by the chapter ending.


Then chapter one begins quickly with Maylee being strangled by a mysterious figure. She is weak and confused, but tries to fight him off in the mud, wind and rain. She does a decent job, but eventually collapses after a few strong blows. Luckily, a Growlithe jumps seemingly out of nowhere and bites the attacker, who Maylee then goes on to knock out cold. She looks around and sees two bodies on the ground - a boy and a young woman. They desperately check to see if they are alive, (the boy just about manages to open his eyes) and then start shouting/barking for help as they hear emergency services in the distance, though they are themselves weak.

In chapter two, Maylee wakes up in the Pokemon Centre in a bed with Growlithe by her side and the boy she helped rescue in the bed next to her. He is already awake, and speaks to her. She finds out he is called Jake - a Pokemon trainer who was injured when the gym was hit by the storm. He says Aria is in much worse shape than he is. Maylee looks a fool when interacting with Growlithe as she refers to it as a 'dog' and believes it to have dog-like intelligence. She has no idea what a Pokemon is. We also find out that Maylee has no memories of who she is or why she woke up where she did - Nurse Joy says they had to find clothes for her because she had nothing on her, nor any possessions or identification, when they found her. Jake decides to take her to Professor Linden's lab.

When they arrive, they are introduced to Professor Linden and his daughter, Monica, who is an aspiring physicist (though with an interest in Pokemon). Linden gives a Gameboy-style speech about Pokemon and is astounded that Maylee has no memories but still has knowledge of her name and how to speak etc - he does a search and finds no record of her anywhere. Linden notices Growlithe's attachment to Maylee and encourages her to try battling – because being a Pokemon trainer is a good way to learn about the world. It's also mentioned that the storm was very unusual, and that Linden is analyzing data from it as they speak. As they leave, Maylee notices that one of the lab assistants looks awfully like the man who attacked her.


Maylee and Jake have a practice battle, but it doesn't go well for her – she doesn't feel a connection with Growlithe and finds it hard to command him. Jake talks to her about it and she tells him about the attack and about Linden's assistant. Jake has trouble believing her, and reminds her that, as she was found almost passed out naked in the mud and rain, she could very well have been hallucinating and, even if she wasn't, she's not even sure herself that it's the same person.


<- Gap


Maylee sneaks into Linden's Lab at night and without Jake's knowledge with Growlithe and finds two Team Rocket grunts looking around. Without any idea how she developed the skills, she sneaks up behind them and effortlessly knocks them unconscious. As she proceeds further, she sees all sorts of boxes and computers, all stealing data. She eventually reaches the main lab, where Linden (and Monica perhaps, depending on gap) are being held hostage by a Rocket duo and a few guards. Maylee is forced to battle them and, during the fight starts to bond with Growlithe – understanding it and feeling what it feels. It is about to be knocked unconscious by the powerful Rocket pokemon, but Jake's pokemon intervenes from nowhere and distracts it long enough for Maylee to get Growlithe to use a fire attack. The Rocket pokemon is defeated, but the duo escape with the stolen data. Linden explains he'd found very strange readings from the storm, some almost resembling Pokemon and some he just couldn't understand at all. He's convinced Team Rocket are up to no good, but also that the information may concern Maylee and how she got where she did – perhaps why his assistant (who was working for TR after all) wanted to kidnap her.


Linden suggests that Maylee stay with them – they are about to travel to the next town where they can go to the research centre there. It's also the direction the Rocket agents were heading. Jake interrupts and points out that, after Maylee's impressive battle performance, he'd be happy to accompany her to the next town and show her how to be a trainer. Maylee seems far more happy with the second option and the pair decide to hunt down the rocket agents, recover the data and visit the research facility as well.


As for the characters:

Spoiler:


Maylee will come across as arrogant and aggressive, though not necessarily selfish; but quick to act and often unwilling to listen to reason. Nethertheless, we will find that she has keen instincts and, over the course of the series, hidden knowledge and abilities which may be key to stopping the Team Rocket plan. One of the main points will be Maylee discovering herself and bettering her relationship with people and pokemon.


Jake is much more calm and much less aggressive. He's actually more interested in learning about Pokemon than he is in battling them, and he's only really a trainer because it's a fantastic way to learn and discover. Maylee will become the serious trainer/battler over time. I really want to find a way to make sure that Jake doesn't come across as the main character in this story despite appearing first. I also want to make sure that he is the one following Maylee on her journey – as Maylee is the Ash of this series and Jake is the Misty :D


A third character will probably be introduced in the next story (assuming I finish this one) to make a trio - and I'm sure some romances and stuff will come into it at some point. The stories themselves will probably feature more conventional violence and less pokemon battling than the games and anime, though there will obviously be some battling as well; after all, Maylee is going to become a Pokemon trainer and will end up in gyms etc when not saving the world.

So I ask for your help:

Firstly and mainly in working out what to put in the gap - something which leads Maylee to think something's wrong at the lab (but which no-one else takes as good enough evidence) and break in to investigate. If you have any ideas on changing the other bits to better fit this better, that's totally fine with me. I'm not a pro at this so any advice is appreciated!
Secondly if any, more experienced, writers have any ideas for scenes or methods of writing to make Maylee's personality come across better to the reader - any tips are also appreciated.
Thirdly, I worry that I don't have a way of making sure that Maylee is very obviously the main character despite her appearing first and
Fourthly, if someone could perhaps help me pick a good pokemon for Jake - I was going to go with Pikachu but since that's really common I thought I'd give Marill a try, but Marill's a little bit odd. I'm not too familiar myself with the newer generation pokemon so perhaps one of those is Pikachu-like (small and feisty-looking, and preferably not normal or psychic or ghost type).

bobandbill July 4th, 2012 4:45 AM

Firstly, the general story idea is fairly interesting, so that's a good start.

Now... I will respond to this first:
Quote:

A third character will probably be introduced in the next story (assuming I finish this one) to make a trio - and I'm sure some romances and stuff will come into it at some point. The stories themselves will probably feature more conventional violence and less pokemon battling than the games and anime, though there will obviously be some battling as well; after all, Maylee is going to become a Pokemon trainer and will end up in gyms etc when not saving the world.
On the first point; how necessary is this? The way that's worded it seems that you're thinking about a third main character just to make a trio, and maybe introduce a romance, etc into it, but I'd warn against doing it just for the sake of that. Be sure that if you add a third main character that they would be relevant to the story and add their own impact, rather than just add a romantic sideplot. Also note that in fact the trio set-up with Pokemon fics with some romance, etc is very common. This doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, but it does mean that if you do it then if it feels just like a repeat of how those other fics do it readers may get turned off from it.

For the second point, just be sure that it makes sense for Maylee to want to take on gym leaders and has time to do that and it makes sense/is realistic for her to do so in-between 'saving the world' - don't try to rely too much on following the formula of the games after all.
Quote:

Secondly if any, more experienced, writers have any ideas for scenes or methods of writing to make Maylee's personality come across better to the reader - any tips are also appreciated.
Well, that depends on how exactly you want the reader to see her or rather what you mean as 'come across better'. =p On that note; don't try to overdo it. If you have this character be protrayed as far better than anybody else despite her flaws then the character will actually suffer for it and seem boring. Nobody really wants to read about the person who does well at everything, and sometimes a likeable protaogist is still one which has their flaws show.
Quote:

Thirdly, I worry that I don't have a way of making sure that Maylee is very obviously the main character despite her appearing first
I wouldn't worry too much about that, as long as you don't focus too long on Jack beyond the prologue. You could also say try to soften the amount he is involved in the prologue; for instance, keep description of him vague, don't yet name him, etc, and leave that for later after you establish Maylee's character.
Quote:

Fourthly, if someone could perhaps help me pick a good pokemon for Jake - I was going to go with Pikachu but since that's really common I thought I'd give Marill a try, but Marill's a little bit odd. I'm not too familiar myself with the newer generation pokemon so perhaps one of those is Pikachu-like (small and feisty-looking, and preferably not normal or psychic or ghost type).
There's not too many right or wrong Pokemon, frankly. I would suggest however against Pokemon that are very rare or unlikely for a regular trainer to start with (say a Dragon type or Eevee) without a solid explanation, and that'd extend to legendaries too. Marill as a side note is not too odd a Pokemon to read about; if a canon example of HGSS's pseudo rival having a Marill exists then I doubt there should be many problems with it, and it's also not a rare Pokemon for many regions, etc.

There's a bunch of Pikachu-like Pokemon as well that'd fit that bill; Plusle/Minun spring to mind as does Pachirisu and Emolga from 5th gen in particular. As for non-electric types... well, the list is long! Try some research into it and see what appeals to you to write about; there's the likes of serebii, bulbapedia, etc to use for that.

Nemesis51 July 7th, 2012 11:36 AM

PokeBox Game Site Story Line
 
I am working on a pokemon adopt site and I have just finished an outline for the story line. I am more of a coder than a writer so I am looking for some feedback and maybe some creative help. So I got my ideas down but there's probably a better way to present it. Thank you so much for looking it over :) note: I removed the images in post that are on site.


Story

Welcome to Poke Island soon to be trainer. You had to come here to recieve your very first pokemon and join the initiative to repopulate the world we live in with pokemon. To fix the mistakes of our past. As you know there are no more wild Pokemon to obtain! They have all been caught or battled for training till fainted. But there is still hope! It has been noted that no pokemon has fully gone extinct and that some one somewhere has it. As such it is everyones duty to level the pokemon, care for them, breed them, and then trade them to other trainers. For doing such work you will be paid for your efforts to buy items and new pokemon eggs to raise.

Battling Forbiden


That's right, Pokemon battles are now outlawed and illegal to partake in. This decision is to stop the loss of more wild pokemon that are brutally trained on and never recieve medical aid, but are left fainted in the wild. This also stops trainer negligence who push their pokemon to hard. This will also free up a lot of recourses as medication, status healers, and free healthcare will not be overburdened. We understand your conce with the issue of leveling your pokemon so please read on to our scientific findings.


Prof. Oak's Findings


Professor Oak has been studing pokemon for many years. He came up with the theory that pokemon do not need to battle to evolve or level up and get stronger. But rather it is social interaction that enables them to develope and live a healthy life. Many were astonished at this fact but many of the other scientist confirmed it to be true. Even though battleing does drive up a pokemons experiance, it is just social interaction, experiances can be achieved through safer means. This obviously helped push the laws that eventually outlawed battling completely.






New Technology


With humans and pokemon sharing the same world space began to run out pretty quick. But a new Poke Box has also been developed, one that can theoretically hold an infinite amount of pokemon. As such pokemon are not allowed to wonder about without a trainer. This keeps everyone safe from wild pokemon attacks, or illegal pokemon training battles. Pokemon are also tagged convienanlty to their owners and can not be easily stolen. This allows any trainer to take out a pokemon even if they do not own it. What they can do with the pokemon is limited to only social interaction but this way trainers can work together to take pokemon out of the box system and help them develope. However the owning trainer is in full control if their pokemon evolves, recieves an item, is used for breeding, or is traded.





We Hope You Enjoy Your Social Adventures Here at PokeBox

Astinus July 7th, 2012 7:21 PM

Moving this to the Plot Bunny thread, since you're just asking about your plot.

Gothitelle. August 1st, 2012 12:17 PM

I had an idea for my plot as well but I'm having a hardtime putting it down. Basically, I'm trying to base of on an moment in Heartgold/Soulsilver to where the female Team Rocket grunt was telling you, the player, that she thinks Proton is this and that and how she thinks he's cool and that he's all she needs. Well, I am trying to make it to that that when he sees that Team Rocket has come back in the Unova reigon (well the team was recreated by that same girl with her friend and they have renounced their criminal ways and wanted Team Rocket to be a detective agency) and sees that same girl (because yes he remembers her), he wants to meet her.

So he meets her and the Team and start talking etc and in the end they get together. Problem is that when I put them in a relationship, there's something I'm not doing right and it's to do with Proton. Can this plot *still* be doable?

Astinus August 3rd, 2012 11:13 PM

Depends what your problem is with Proton. If you're keeping him in character, and his canon characterization is as someone who can't be in a relationship (for whatever reason), then you might have to consider the story a no-go.

But it all depends on what your problem with Proton is. Do you mind giving us more details?

Gothitelle. August 4th, 2012 5:07 AM

The story isn't a no go, I just posted part of it right now. Besides I see other people put him in a relationship so you can't just count me out.

Problem is, temperamental is a feeling I fail at trying to convey.

Astinus August 4th, 2012 12:54 PM

Just because other people write about a couple in fanfiction still doesn't mean that it will work. People write out-of-character couple fics all the time, so it's still possible that this couple won't fully work no matter how or who writes it.

You asked if the plot is still doable. I said it might not because Proton might not want to be in a relationship even if you want him to be. That's how I answered because that's what you asked.

Instead you wanted to know about a part of his characterization, which could only be answered if you posted the story in question. While you did today, it wasn't posted yesterday, and I couldn't use it to answer your new question.

This thread isn't for characterization help. It's for plot help, which is how I answered. The only way to get an answer for your current problem is to wait for someone to read and review your story.

EvilSkittles August 29th, 2012 1:30 PM

Well I have two plot bunnies I've been putting some work into and one that just popped up while I was asleep last night.

1. A young Nurse Joy gains her first Pokecenter. Her experiences as she learns how everything can and will go wrong and just how idiotic trainers can be. Told in letters and conversations with her older Joys.

2. The life of a Pokemon Trainer is greatly romanticized but few travel and even fewer make it very far. 17 year old Emile is now old enough to become a trainer. He is expected to one day take over his father's, Norman, gym. For this reason he is being sent out on a journey to become a stronger and well respected trainer. Emile is ecstatic, being the only one of his friends able to go, but little does he realize that reality differs from the stories.

3. The Isham region is in turmoil, the region's legendaries are slowly destroying the land. Researcher Issac is part of a taskforce to stop this. He and his partner find that there is a common link between legendary pokemon incidences. One trainer named Ash. The taskforce is sent to capture Ash and have him quell the powerful beasts.

PhanpyFan August 30th, 2012 11:26 AM

Pokemon: Obsidian City setting
 
Hi guys!
I'm coming up with a futuristic, dark Pokemon setting that takes place in Kanto, which I will use in both a tabletop RPG and (hopefully soon) in a fan fiction that I am planning. I've always wanted to see the Pokemon world portrayed this way, as it seems like in reality it would be a horrifying setting to live in when people could carry huge monsters in their pockets.

This is what I have so far on the history of Kanto and how the Pokemon world developed before and after the events of Gen 1-2:
Spoiler:


It’s funny to think that at one point Pokemon and humans coexisted
peacefully. The memory of such a time has all but faded through the course of
history.

Pokemon have had a long history of collaboration with human
interests. Throughout most of history, the possession of Pokemon was an
indication of high status and these domesticated monsters were used for military
purposes. Approximately 500 years ago, a social transformation began. At the
turn of the Industrial Age, new technologies were developed that allowed for the
easy storage, transportation, and upkeep of Pokemon. As these technologies
became available to the public, Pokemon began to be employed as bodyguards and
mercenary units for private interests.

However, it was Silph Co, military manufacturer of Pokemon
technologies, which forever changed the relationship between Pokemon and people.
It began with a simple idea: to make Pokemon training more accessible to the
public. So they introduced a groundbreaking solution: Pokemon made Pokemon
products. Pokemon were remarkably good at being trained for general labor. Their
natural hard work ethic and low cost of living meant that they could hold longer
hours and be compensated with only food and shelter. So for a time, the hobby of
Pokemon training exploded into the mainstream. Now even those on a modest salary
could afford Pokemon made Pokemon products and even some children were
financially able to maintain a journey dedicated to their Pokemon. Soon, Silph
Co. took its idea to its natural progression; they began training Pokemon for
other enterprises, resulting in Pokemon staffed hospitials and Pokemon made
automobiles, even Pokemon artisans. For a period of about 300 years, Pokemon
became integral with every aspect of human society. Pokemon were raised as pets,
business partners, and even friends. However, the most common use for Pokemon
was Pokemon battling, a cultural retention of the aggressive, military image of
Pokemon. However, unlike in previous times, Pokemon were no longer involved in
feudal disputes and civil wars. The introduction of Pokemon into human society
led Kanto to 150 years of peace and prosperity in a world where Pokemon provided
sources for renewable energy, advanced medical skills, and cheap labor.

It was the human-owned businesses that went first. Pokemon
could work longer hours than humans with greater efficiency. Nobody wanted to
buy human-made cloth anymore when they could buy a Silph product at half the
price and twice the thread count. Even small shops that owned one or two Pokemon
to assist them were soon overwhelmed by the high demand for the cheaper Silph
made products. Silph Co. quickly had a monopoly on all Pokemon-related
manufacturing and was quickly gaining dominance in other markets. Its business
model constantly evolved; taking on all competitors. The Machoke that once took
the industry far beyond its competitors became obsolete. Experimentation with
Pokemon technology gave Silph researchers the ability to force Pokemon to
evolve, meaning Machamp became the standard for competitive labor.

Pokemon became more and more specialized to their tasks:
Tyrogue had small fingers, useful for making complex mechanical machines with
small parts. Ivysaur were ideal for their ability to manipulate and accelerate
the growth of plants. Soon, Silph Co. controlled virtually all markets, as it
alone had the resources to breed and train Pokemon for specific industrial
purposes.

The world economy began to crumble under the weight of this
new market. Pokemon worked for only food and shelter, so they had no capacity
for paying taxes, despite being the primary workers of the Kanto and Johto
regions. In Kanto and Johto, people flocked to Saffron and Goldenrod cities
looking for work suitable for humans, leaving the outer cities to dwindle into
small towns and in leaving some in ruins. Saffron and Goldenrod cities expanded
from the center of their continents, reaching out and enveloping small towns as
their suburbs and ghettos grew in population. As they enveloped neighboring
towns, Saffron became known as Obsidian City and Goldenrod became known as
Gainsboro City.

It was at this point that the Johto government pulled the plug on Silph Co’s
expansion. They saw the damage that the industry had on their economy and
ordered them to hire human workers for certain types of labor and leave these
human work markets alone. Through this policy, Johto was able to maintain the
last of its large cities and some of its cultural heritage of Pokemon training,
but as a result isolated itself from the world market, which it could no longer
compete in as a result of this decision.

Meanwhile, Obsidian City grew bigger and bigger until the only reputable jobs
in all of Kanto could be found there. The wealth disparity skyrocketed. Society
broke down into three basic classes: The upper class, the trade class, and the
trade-less.

As we approach the conditions of the present day, the trade class in Kanto is
all but obsolete. There are so few specialty markets left. The small, family
owned business struggle to do anything they can to pay their high cost of living
and hold back the steady creep of the slums into the foreclosing suburbs. Nobody
knows much about Pokemon anymore, except for those with specialized educations.
Only the upper class has the means to study them and afford the purebred
specimens.

Years of propaganda has led the public to believe that wild Pokemon are
violent and dangerous and that only specially bred Pokemon could be compatible
with human society. Wild Pokemon were pushed further and further out of their
home territories and engaged in frustrated, sometimes violent reclaiming of
their old territories. This and public opinion shifting away from protecting
wild Pokemon, led to the building of the Great Retaining Wall to protect
Obsidian City from wild Pokemon attacks.

The hierarchy of society was complete; the upper class and what was left of
the Kanto government protected the lower classes from wild Pokemon and the lower
classes kept in their place out of fear of both the corrupt trainers that
protected them and of the wild Pokemon that they were protected against.


I'd appreciate any feedback on realism and whether or not this political/economic explanation works well with what Pokemon fan base already knows about the Pokemon world. I'm really excited about the concept and would like to make it really in-depth. Thanks!

bobandbill August 31st, 2012 11:58 PM

It's a decent basis imo, and could be interesting to explore as well (I've seen some neat fics with varying ideas of Pokemon world setup going wrong later one as well so it's something that I'd be interested in reading too). Seems fairly well thought out too, and atm I don't see any notable flaws with this what-if; seems belieable enough. Exploring how the working Pokemon felt about it, etc would be something to consider btw; seems like it could be a waste to ignore that side of the history.

PhanpyFan September 16th, 2012 9:30 AM

Thanks, Bobandbill! I'll be sure to add that in there somewhere for you as the story develops. I've just finished the first chapter of the fan fic and the url to my Tabletop RPG's website is on my home page.

SanityStealer September 26th, 2012 5:32 PM

I've been playing around with an idea for a while and I'd love some feedback.

A wild SUMMARY has appeared!

Sasha, a lonely little street rat with a talent for stealing things, is picked up by Team Rocket and trained. Years later, Red destroys Team Rocket and sends Giovanni into hiding, leading the police force to capture and imprison many Rockets, including Sasha. Playing nice with the other kids gets her out on good behavior after two and a half years - but it also gets her a cranky parole officer that she has to report to constantly. When news of Rocket's resurgence reaches her, Sasha leaves Saffron to go find out what her old teammates are up to, and ultimately goes on a quest to get revenge on Red, who has recently secluded himself on Mt. Silver, for landing her in jail - and to teach him some lessons about how the real world works while she's at it.

Thoughts? Comments? Anything that needs to be brutally torn apart and burned?

psyanic September 26th, 2012 6:24 PM

Psyanic uses Feedback!

Is Sasha literally a rat? It gets slightly confusing because I thought Sasha was a Rattata at first given that she's picked up my Team Rocket, which made it sound like she's a Pokemon.

Anyway, I don't find that 'playing nice' would get her out of jail. Given that she's stealing (and I don't really see that as a talent; stealing is like art or plumbing - you have to build your skill) and working for a nefarious organization such as Team Rocket, I can assume Sasha is not young and would be in an actual prison or some juvenile correction facility. In either case, 'playing nice' wouldn't exactly earn her parole, but because she seems to be a bit low-ranking, I suppose she could get off early. However, there won't be too many nice kids to play with in a prison (using this interchangeably from juvenile correction facility). Her parole officer may provide a lot of interesting situations since Sasha has to report to the officer, so there's that. I can only say that it might be difficult to go to Mt. Silver when you have an officer to report to considering that Mt. Silver isn't a little hike in the woods.

Another thing is that Sasha has very little motivation to go after Red. First, you have to remember that Red practically took down the organization by himself. That alone should show how powerful of a trainer he is. Of course, it's your story and the situation could be virtually everything, but it's important to note that Red is not going to roll over. Sasha's old 'teammate's should also be in jail, so she wouldn't exactly check up on them all that frequently. Also, Sasha doesn't have a good reason to get revenge. I mean, she got picked up by an organization and it fell. So what? It's like landing a job in a company that goes bankrupt the next day. It's not your fault or anything. That sort of happened. You'll just get a new job. Sasha, to me, should move on away from crime, because look where it got her. She got in jail, not a place of unicorns and cotton candy. Your idea is fine. I like the idea of revenge fics, and I've tried playing with them myself but never get around to it, but in a story driven by revenge, there has to be a legitimate reason for revenge. Besides, if Team Rocket was on a revival, what drivers her to go after Red when she could just melt into Team Rocket once more?

SanityStealer September 27th, 2012 12:34 PM

And that's pretty much exactly why I wanted feedback! I wasn't even sure if the idea was plausible, let alone a good one. Thanks for your input!

I may rework the idea later, I may not, but for now it looks like this one's going to be set aside.

Abyssolwind October 13th, 2012 5:28 PM

Too many plot bunnies
 
Okay… since the plot bunny thread is “dead”, I’m under the impression someone will tell me off since it’s been a month, so I’ll put it here and hope I don’t get hammered for it.

I’m mulling over several plots for what I should work on. All of them different – although all of them rather dark. They span from mystery dungeon to conquest to completely original, but I like to think they’re all original, and the kind of thing that hadn’t been done yet. I’m just so unsure which one I should do…

Doom and Desire.
The Protagonist named “Ark” is a ranger. Not a Pokémon ranger – he’s an unofficial caregiver for Pokémon who live in a wildlife preserve – which he lives next to . Two weeks before the story, he nearly died – but was brought to life with a machine. Problem is – Ark is a technophobe, and fears his spirit has died, even though his body was brought back. While exploring a forest (not in the preserve), he finds a trainer attacking an Absol. Seeing as Absols cause disasters, the trainer is socially justified in his actions. But before the Absol is killed, Ark asks to capture it first. That way he can return the body when its dead, and carry it home so he can skin it and make a cloak. The trainer agrees and sells Ark (who carries no pokéballs, being afraid of them) a pokéball, which he captures the Pokémon with. The other trainer then kills the Absol. Ark brings the Absol to the Pokémon centre, and revives it.
While the Absol is somewhat grateful, she is also stubborn. Seeing she isn’t fully healed, Ark keeps her in his house overnight so she can heal – whether she likes it or not. During the night however, the Absol inadvertently casts a curse on him – using doom desire (I know that’s inaccurate, but it’s fiction). Ark has two weeks to live – then he will die. So he and a reluctant Absol set off on a journey to find the wish-granter Jirachi – the only one who can save him.


Way of the warrior.
Every pokéball in the world is connected to the grid. A giant network which is connected to every ball in the world via satellite uplink. This keeps track of every capture and prevents any pokéball tampering as well as allowing lost trainers to be located via GPS by pinging their pokéball. A brilliant system. Simple. Effective. Genius. Totally safe. If all goes to hell and Pokémon somehow become compromised and lose control – there’s even a failsafe. Total Recall. But it’s all safe… Until Team Plasma gains acess to that grid
What happens when they initiate failsafe Total Recall – returning every Pokémon in the world to their pokéballs and locking them in there? What happens when only Team Plasma can unlock their pokéballs? When only they have any Pokémon power? Someone has to fight back – and those someones are the Pokémon rangers. But their capture stylers can’t control Pokémon as effectively as a trainer with a pokéball. Fortunately for them – there is another way. Long before the time of pokéballs, the secret rested… In Ransei. The way of the warrior. The ability to link with Pokémon. It’s the only way to stop Team Plasma, and Celebi’s going to show the rangers how to learn this ability.
Rangers travel back through time to learn to link with Pokémon, while all the while their friends form a resistance against team plasma – trying to combat their movements with wild Pokémon being controlled. The rangers (and former-team-plasma-leader N, whom has defected) in the past must learn to link with Pokémon, gather a team (or a small army), find Dialga and then return to their own time to fight back team Plasma.


Sixty-four-squares.
Three years ago, the war between Johto and Kanto came to an end. But not before sixteen Johto soldiers entered celebi’s sacred temple – which also happened to contain sixteen Johto soldiers in hiding. Celebi saw this opportunity as a way to settle his conflict with his rival – mew, and called him. Together, they captured and erased the memories of all the humans in the temple. The humans were reverted to young ages (thirteen or so) by celebi, and given extraordinary powers by mew.
Three years later, three orphan children are brought together by fate, and by their mysterious necklaces – each adorned with an onyx chess piece. They soon find themselves caught in their own private war with the white team from Johto – and are forced to wage the final conflict between mew and celebi. They can run, they can hide, or they can die.


Lowbrid.
Emile is part-Pokémon, part-human. Life as a scientific experiment is never easy – especially when all the bad guys seem to want to get their hands on you. So what do you do? You fight… seems easy, right? Wrong… because wherever there’s a hybrid human with awesome Pokémon power, there’s someone like Emile. A hybrid Pokémon with miserable HUMAN powers… oh joy…
This is because the “pokémorphs/hybrid” story is all too cliché. So to mess with the cliché, I turned it upside down. Emile is a Riolu who lacks any Pokémon power, growing up as an experiment and leashed to a mad scientist by his drug-dependency. He just wants to train and live – his scientist creator seems too concerned with his DNA, and Team Rocket, for god-knows-what reason – want him too.
He’s been told he’s genetically unstable – so when he evolves, anything could happen. He could possibly gain Pokémon power. But what he doesn’t expect… it to evolve into a FEMALE Lucario…


Pit dog.
Grail is a human pit-dog. A warrior who fights for the amusement of Pokémon. Kidnapped at 14, his beloved Lucario was taken from him and held hostage by psychotic wild Pokémon. If he wants to keep her alive – he must fight. He must fight and win. Because if he loses a fight – his mate loses her life.
Grail has survived for an entire year. The longest anyone has ever survived in the pit… ever. He is allowed to return home after every fight – bloody and bruised and unable to tell his parents the truth – but he is monitored. His master’s step-daughter, an Absol named Aash, and her master’s servant Hypno monitor him – alerting him when it’s time to fight, and making sure he doesn’t tell anyone about his secret life.
The pit is more dangerous than it used to be. Grail is becoming stronger with each fight, but lately, his opponents have begun to… change. Freakishly distorted humans, itching and writhing in pain, but wielding mighty and unexpected strength. They have been mutated.
Soon Grail’s master fears his opponents have become unacceptably strong. When he learns the source of his opponents’ strength, he implements the same procedure on Grail – transforming him into a part-Pokémon chimera.
Grail’s part of an underground human-fighting league, fighting other captured humans in order to save himself, and his Lucario – who is used as a bargaining chip to keep him fighting. When he finally escapes them, he soon learns that his is not the only “pit” in the league. He also learns that the league will stop at nothing to kill him.


Contras Umbra.
Pokemon mystery dungeon story. After an exchange student dies mysteriously in his sleep, a class of schoolmates inherit mysterious orbs in accordance with his will. Nek minnit - they find themselves trapped in a world of mystery dungeon as pokemon, and are forced to fight their way to the centre of the realm against evil shadow pokemon. Next day they wake up as humans again, confused and unsure about what happened. But the next time they sleep - they're back in there...
Pokemon mystery dungeon with a twist. The protagonists keep their memories upon entering the pokemon world, but they also return to their own world, jumping from one to the other, and having to defend BOTH from evil pokemon.



Any suggestions, comments or anything of the like? I'd like to hear opinions - which would you rather see? Wha could be some pros and cons of above stories?

bobandbill October 14th, 2012 3:19 AM

Quote:

Okay… since the plot bunny thread is “dead”, I’m under the impression someone will tell me off since it’s been a month, so I’ll put it here and hope I don’t get hammered for it.
Actually, it's fine to post in that thread even if the last post is a while ago when you want to share your ideas. No worries though, I'll just merge your thread with it.

Taking a quick glance at the first two for the moment... firstly, kills, or faints? If the former how does the reviving thing actually work then, to bring things back from the dead?
Quote:

During the night however, the Absol inadvertently casts a curse on him – using doom desire (I know that’s inaccurate, but it’s fiction).
Not so, actually. You'd want to keep things accurate, as a reader who knows the basics about Pokemon when reading that would surely have a double take at an Absol suddenly using Doom Desire like that. It's like a Chikorita using Water Gun suddenly in a battle; it doesn't make sense.

Of course, it doesn't mean it can't happen, but if you don't have a buyable explanation for it then it's going to hurt the believability of the story. (There's more about that in the first post). Alternatively I'd suggest thinking up some other event if you want the guy to be cursed and then search for Jirachi with an Absol (which is a neat premise in itself, imo).

Way of the warrior sounds interesting, certainly; mixing rangers with conquest certainly is different (and as far as I know there is little in the way of conquest fic out there compared to the rest too). One thing that came to mind though; if Celebi can take them to the past, why not just take them to just before team plasma appear so they can stop them?

Abyssolwind October 14th, 2012 8:19 PM

Firstly - kills. Yes. My pokeball theory is that when a pokemon in a pokeball is taken to a pokemon centre, it can be re-healed to a previous stage - much like a computer's backup - even if it's dead. The dying and reviving creates a connection between them - they're alike in that regard.

Doom desire - i do have a reason for that. Asbol's pokedex entry states that it causes (or predicts in some cases) disasters. My fictional theory is that an absol enters a cursed state while asleep, and casts doom desire upon an individual - or a town - which is nearby.

Celebi... okay, i'll have to think around that. That's a good point...
Thanks for the help, btw. ^_^

Bounsweet October 15th, 2012 2:13 PM

Honestly, I really like Way of the Warrior. I'm a little into scifi dystopians so there's probably some bias in there, though.

Sixty-Four-Squares is interesting as well, it never occured to me that there could be a war between the regions... That actually gives me quite a few ideas, personally :p As far as the story though, you definitely have a lot of options with just that general plot.

For Lowbrid, you can branch off this significantly with the new Pokemon ReBURST series, I don't know the details but it's on Bulbapedia if you want to use it for any reference or just for ideas.

Abyssolwind October 15th, 2012 8:37 PM

There's not much on ReBURST - but i get the general idea. Sixty-four squares is rather alike it, plotwise. The idea for 64 squares though, is that each human with a chess piece has two pokemon moves they can use. When they get together with another human who has a chess piece, the first of them can transform into pokemon form, while the second maintains the first's form. The pokemon is dependant on the two's moves.

So the main three have:

1: Razor wind, psychic.
2: Psycho cut, detect
3: Teleport, agility

1 and 2 can come together and make absol
1 and 3 can come together to make gardevoir
2 and 3 can come together to make gallade.

Two pokemon can be active at once - as long as one remains to maintain the other two's transformations.

Thanks for replying. I'm still thinking them over - possibly i will combine a couple of them into one...

Pppgggr October 16th, 2012 6:31 PM

Ok, I've been toying with this plot idea for a while now, but so far, I've been completely unsure as to how I can go about organizing it and turning it into a basic Chapter-based fan fiction. I've attempted to put together a decent plot for several fan fictions in the past, but I could never properly set the bits of information, character-histories, and interesting ideas into a proper plot that I could go about writing. I feel I've come the furthest with this one when it comes to setting up basic character histories and the world the events take place in, but I still have -VERY- little and I was hoping that someone more experienced when it comes to writing fan-fictions could tell me what they think about the basic premise for my Fan-fiction and hopefully assist me in getting it off the ground.


Anyways, Here it goes:

Spoiler:
The story takes place just before the events of pokemon emerald, fairly close to the start of Brandon/May's journey. Team Aqua and Team Magma are still fairly un-heard of in the region, yet they've been in existence and plotting their rise for several years.

It centralizes around a pokemon Scientist/Professor by the name of Haruza and his aide, Ethan. I've yet to establish what town in Hoenn that their story begins in, but when I do, this is how it'll go.

Haruza is a well-established pokemon Professor living in the town of [input Hoenn Town here]. He had been conduction studies in the town for at least a decade and to the inhabitants, he was a fairly mysterious character, leaving his lab on very few occasions, and even then, for short periods of time. One day, much to people's surprise, he reached out to the town in search of a budding young training to become his aide and assist him in his various projects. This is where Ethan comes into play.

Ethan had lived in the town all of his life, and though he had been given his partner, Poochyena, two years back, his mother had been struck with a very rare condition and he had been forced to stay home to take care of her. When he learned of the Professor's search, he saw it as his chance to interact with and meet new pokemon-- The next best thing to actually traversing the region.

After meeting the Professor and taking the job, he was instantly put to work on simple jobs such as running errands, cleaning up after the pokemon, and cataloging the Professor's findings. Though he showed up for every day for a while, the Professor never really opened up to him and he remained a secretive and mysterious character for Ethan until one day, while the professor was out in the field, a couple of Magma grunts raided the lab in search of his findings.

With difficulty, Ethan and his Poochyena managed to defeat the grunts in a pokemon battle. When pushed into a corner, however, the two men pulled out a pair of bright blue gems from the inside of their uniforms. From those gems, brand new pokemon were created, seemingly out of nothing....A pair of Slugmas were the created pokemon, yet for some strange reason, the pokemon were made up of water as opposed to the usual magma. Ethan and his already weakened Poochyena were overwhelmed until the Professor returned from his studies, and using his trusty Blaziken, he managed to fight off the attackers who left the pokemon behind. Within minutes, the new pokemon began to destabilize and die.

At this moment, while standing over the bodies of the dead pokemon, the Professor finally revealed a bit of his past to Ethan. A decade earlier, before he'd arrived in town, the Professor had been a scientist and an archaeologist working with several of the founding members of Team Magma, long before the idea of the idea of the team had even been conceived. They'd had a great interest in the Legendary Pokemon, Groudon, and using several ancient texts, they located a cavern deep below the Earth where they believed the pokemon to rest deep below the surface of the Earth. Instead of the pokemon, however they discovered a large cache of never-before seen crystals of assorted colors, each color representing a specific type of pokemon. After some experimentation, they realized that the gems could be used to CREATE pokemon, an act that they had originally thought to have been solely within the domain of Arceus. Each gem could create a pokemon of a specific type, but they weren't limited to pokemon that were already users of that element. Each gem could be embued with the image of any pokemon in existence and create a duplicate of it made up of the element that the gem represented. These type-spliced pokemon were incredibly powerful, though unstable. Pokemon created through this method died as quickly as three minutes, the oldest of them living to be an hour in age.


Finding this practice to be cruel, Haruza sealed off the cavern with several of the more-informed scientists still inside and destroyed most if not all of the remaining gems, leaving with all of their research and equipment. Only a few managed to escape and go on to create Team Magma.

Somehow, the Team Magma of their day had either discovered a new batch of Gems, or found a way to mass-produce them.

Ethan left his mother in the care of some of the townsfolk and then set off with the Professor in order to learn how they were obtaining the demonic artifacts, and how to stop them.


As you can see, I've only plotted out the ughtmost beginning of the Fan-fiction, and there are plenty of holes in what I do have. The characters I have pulled together are fairly vaguely developed and I haven't fully worked out their personalities. I was hoping that a more experienced writer could assist me in solidifying what I do have and turning the concept into a full-fledged story. I think Team Magma's reasoning should revolve around Groudon, though I'm unsure as to how that'll fit in, and I still haven't worked out the origin of the gems, though I'm thinking of tying those in to Arceus.

Astinus October 16th, 2012 7:27 PM

One small comment I could make is that you might want to change the name of your main trainer. "Ethan" is the name of the male trainer from HG/SS, and some readers might automatically insert him in the story instead of your own original trainer.

To help with the starting location, think about what Haruza would do after leaving Magma. If he's still interested in archaeology, he might be near the desert where the fossils are located. Maybe even in Rustboro with the guy that's trying to revive fossils. Or he might be near the volcano if he wants to keep his eye on Magma and thinks/knows that they could always strike the volcano area for Groudon (which they do in the games). Or he might be in a bigger town so he could hide better in case Magma is looking for him.

As for the personalities, the way that works for me is to just write the story. Or just write random scenes. That way, you'll get some idea of how the characters will react to certain situations, and work from there. Or if you wanted to, you can find character creation questions online that ask details about the characters you want to make up, and supposedly that helps you learn more about them.

Magma could use the gems to create a mass amount of Pokemon that could help them fight and get Groudon. Or just to fight back against anyone who tries to stop them by using surprising Pokemon. I'm not clear on how the gems decide what Pokemon to create. Like why Slugma made of water? Are the gems controllable (can the person choose in any way what the Pokemon species would be?) and will Haruza study the bodies to find out more about the gems? He left Magma in a hurry after the gems were discovered, so like maybe he could study them a bit to find out a weakness or even just how they work.

And I don't know what's the point of Ethan's mother being deathly ill. If he leaves her anyhow, why didn't he do that before? And does her illness mean anything to the plot overall? Or was it just a way to keep Ethan in town long enough for him to be chosen by the professor and then picked for the plot of the story.

That's just some questions you can try to figure out to get more details on the plot. It's just what I noticed that could help you fill in details and maybe get started.

Pppgggr October 16th, 2012 8:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 7375009)
One small comment I could make is that you might want to change the name of your main trainer. "Ethan" is the name of the male trainer from HG/SS, and some readers might automatically insert him in the story instead of your own original trainer.

To help with the starting location, think about what Haruza would do after leaving Magma. If he's still interested in archaeology, he might be near the desert where the fossils are located. Maybe even in Rustboro with the guy that's trying to revive fossils. Or he might be near the volcano if he wants to keep his eye on Magma and thinks/knows that they could always strike the volcano area for Groudon (which they do in the games). Or he might be in a bigger town so he could hide better in case Magma is looking for him.

As for the personalities, the way that works for me is to just write the story. Or just write random scenes. That way, you'll get some idea of how the characters will react to certain situations, and work from there. Or if you wanted to, you can find character creation questions online that ask details about the characters you want to make up, and supposedly that helps you learn more about them.

Magma could use the gems to create a mass amount of Pokemon that could help them fight and get Groudon. Or just to fight back against anyone who tries to stop them by using surprising Pokemon. I'm not clear on how the gems decide what Pokemon to create. Like why Slugma made of water? Are the gems controllable (can the person choose in any way what the Pokemon species would be?) and will Haruza study the bodies to find out more about the gems? He left Magma in a hurry after the gems were discovered, so like maybe he could study them a bit to find out a weakness or even just how they work.

And I don't know what's the point of Ethan's mother being deathly ill. If he leaves her anyhow, why didn't he do that before? And does her illness mean anything to the plot overall? Or was it just a way to keep Ethan in town long enough for him to be chosen by the professor and then picked for the plot of the story.

That's just some questions you can try to figure out to get more details on the plot. It's just what I noticed that could help you fill in details and maybe get started.

Dang, I really need to make an effort to learn the names of the trainers from the games.....I wouldn't have caught that one on my own.

As for the gems, I've put a great deal of thought into them. Each gem starts off as a blank slate with an empty soul within, the element its attributed to being the only defining characteristic of the gem. The gem can have both the mental and DNA imprints of any one pokemon implanted into it and from that, the soul stored within the gem takes the form of that pokemon. Then, whenever activated, the gem gives birth to that pokemon and infuses it with the element of the gem.

Why water-Slugma? That took some careful consideration as well, but I've decided that because the original stash of gems were destroyed, they can't be too choosy on the elements of the pokemon they use. Since both the DNA and mental imprint of an existing pokemon is required, and these men are only grunts, they were tossed the water-type Slugma as scraps leftover from their testing of the Gems; simply a back-up in the case that their regular pokemon fail.

Another thing about the gems that I'm adding in to justify not making an army of one pokemon from a single gem is that every time a gem is used, the soul of the gem is implanted to the pokemon. That soul then returns to the gem as its new body destabilizes.

As for his mother, that's exactly the case.....But I didn't see the logical fallacy there until you pointed it out. I guess I could say that his love for her kept him from leaving her alone in her physical condition. When he realized the gravity of the situation, he went home and explained everything to her....And she convinces him to go? I guess both her permission and the tug of the urgency of the mission would be enough to push him to go.

When it comes to studying the bodies, there wouldn't be a need. The professor made the initial discovery and did a substantial amount of research before shutting the operation down. There'd be no point in studying the pokemon because at the very least one of the two knows how they work. The real mystery is how Magma's getting ahold of the Gems after the initial quarry was destroyed.


I've also given their reasoning some thought, so tell me what you think of it.....

Spoiler:
What if the gems gave a bit more freedom than simply creating a new pokemon and changing its type? What if the gems could contain multiple pieces of DNA to build up the pokemon's body? More than one mental imprint would drive the thing insane and render it useless, but mixing together a series of DNA strings within the gem and creating the perfect body for the spirit could create a force to reckon with. Perhaps the research the professor took from them contained the details needed to mix pokemon or switch around mental imprints in such a way, so that gives them them motivation to attack him. Their goal could be to gather DNA from the legendary pokemon Groudon and mix it with the DNA of a legendary pokemon that's much more prone to leaving traces, such as mew(Mewtwo was made up of a trace of mew), or Ho-Oh?(I could have sworn there was an item in game that was Ho-Oh's feathers or something similar.). Heck, even finding Kyogre, Rayquaza, and Groudon and mixing their DNA into one body, then giving it an intelligent mental imprint could create the ultimate being. Their original goal before they discovered the gems was to find and control Groudon, so it'd only make sense for them to include him into their plans. In the future, once their plan fails(Because it will have to for the fanfic to fit into the storyline properly), they could simply resort to controlling Groudon with the blue orb, as they had originally planned.

Astinus October 17th, 2012 9:40 PM

OK the gems make more sense now with how they work. It works better. And now Haruza not needing to study the bodies makes sense. So I can't see any holes in that right now.

Your new spoiler gives information to move the plot along. It gives Magma a reason to attack Haruza and a reason for Haruza and the trainer (in case you change his name) to chase down Magam to stop them from creating a stronger Pokemon.

Quote:

such as mew(Mewtwo was made up of a trace of mew), or Ho-Oh?(I could have sworn there was an item in game that was Ho-Oh's feathers or something similar.). Heck, even finding Kyogre, Rayquaza, and Groudon and mixing their DNA into one body,
I know that Ho-Oh and Lugia have their feathers from the games/anime. (The silver feather from Lugia is actually a big item to move my own fics' plot along.) You could maybe make use of the Red, Blue, and Jade Orbs (the summoning items in the games) for Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza for their DNA. The orbs are said to contain an ancient power, and they summon the respective Pokemon (and possibly control them which I think happens in the anime?). Magma (and maybe Aqua) could go after those items.

Spoiler:
But yeah, when Haruza and the trainer stop Magma from using the gems, they could think that their goal was too big for them to handle and go back to just chasing after Groudon. That would leave you open for allowing the events of R/S/E to happen so you'd be okay there.


I think you've got enough to get the beginning written out. Good luck!

Pppgggr October 18th, 2012 2:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 7376179)
OK the gems make more sense now with how they work. It works better. And now Haruza not needing to study the bodies makes sense. So I can't see any holes in that right now.

Your new spoiler gives information to move the plot along. It gives Magma a reason to attack Haruza and a reason for Haruza and the trainer (in case you change his name) to chase down Magam to stop them from creating a stronger Pokemon.


I know that Ho-Oh and Lugia have their feathers from the games/anime. (The silver feather from Lugia is actually a big item to move my own fics' plot along.) You could maybe make use of the Red, Blue, and Jade Orbs (the summoning items in the games) for Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza for their DNA. The orbs are said to contain an ancient power, and they summon the respective Pokemon (and possibly control them which I think happens in the anime?). Magma (and maybe Aqua) could go after those items.

Spoiler:
But yeah, when Haruza and the trainer stop Magma from using the gems, they could think that their goal was too big for them to handle and go back to just chasing after Groudon. That would leave you open for allowing the events of R/S/E to happen so you'd be okay there.


I think you've got enough to get the beginning written out. Good luck!

Ok, thanks. I'll spend a few days getting that set up....

Heracles4 November 6th, 2012 8:31 PM

I'm in the very early planning stage of a fic...Don't have a plotline yet, just a partial general idea..

There is a person that is not a trainer. Said person for some reason, travels around their region(Preferably a region with a higher amount of forests or rivers) Said person has colleagues in his/her proffession. Said person, while going about their way in the normal going-ons of their profession, stumbles upon an illegal organization. Said organization, though illegal, is intertwined with goverment and popular society. Said person, along with several colleagues, has to find a way to dismantle the organization, without help of of the public or the goverment(Or rest of the goverment, in case said person is a goverment official)

bobandbill November 7th, 2012 4:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heracles4 (Post 7400111)
I'm in the very early planning stage of a fic...Don't have a plotline yet, just a partial general idea..

There is a person that is not a trainer. Said person for some reason, travels around their region(Preferably a region with a higher amount of forests or rivers) Said person has colleagues in his/her proffession. Said person, while going about their way in the normal going-ons of their profession, stumbles upon an illegal organization. Said organization, though illegal, is intertwined with goverment and popular society. Said person, along with several colleagues, has to find a way to dismantle the organization, without help of of the public or the goverment(Or rest of the goverment, in case said person is a goverment official)

There is potential in having a Pokemon fic based on a character who is not a trainer, given it is not often seen in general. I would warn to make sure that the story itself is something that wouldn't work fine if you removed all references of Pokemon in it (ie as an original story); if it's a Pokemon fic it's got to involve stuff that is relevant to Pokemon itself, be it say a set up of how you think the Pokemon world would work (what with government and all), the organisation doing something illegal that relates to Pokemon, etc.

What sort of profession does 'said person' have, do you think?

Heracles4 November 7th, 2012 7:32 PM

Yeah, the illegal actives DO have to do with pokemon.

I'm not sure what said person's proffession would be. It'd have to be something that would make them going all over the region.

bobandbill November 10th, 2012 6:18 PM

Please don't double post by repeating the same thing you said; sometimes forums move slowly is all and you need patience. If you want more attention to questions you ask the only way to possibly help it is to post about in the community some more (e.g. review fics, answer other people's questions, make a discussion topic, etc, so people may be inclined to help back, so to speak).

Maybe you should consider approaching what the profession should be with what it has to do with the illegal activities/the organisation doing them. What sort of people would such an organisation typically deal with, and then consider from that what roles would involve someone travelling a lot to be in that profession. After all it also has to fit the story as well.

Kung Fu Ferret November 10th, 2012 6:29 PM

I am trying to write a Pokemon fic based off Power Rangers...

I am thinking of either making ten Rangers with the Energy Types from the TCG, or maybe something else. I'm totally open to ideas.

The TCG Rangers and possible first "Zords"

Green Grass Ranger: Leavanny
Red Fire Ranger: Magmortar
Blue Water Ranger: Walrein
Yellow Lightning Ranger: Ampharos
Purple Psychic Ranger: Gengar
Brown Fighting Ranger: Rhyperior
Black Darkness Ranger: Umbreon
Silver Metal Ranger: Klinklang
White Colorless Ranger: Staraptor
Gold Dragon Ranger: Haxorus

Heracles4 November 10th, 2012 7:12 PM

Okay, I'm sincerely sorry for that Bobandbill :/

Oooh, I could make a goverment agency related to what the illegal organization is doing...hmm..the region'll be Hoenn...Thanks!

bobandbill November 10th, 2012 9:47 PM

That's alright, just keep it in mind for future is all.

@ Digimon Kaiser: My memoris of PR is...fuzzy at best, even if I watched a lot as a kid, heh.

Idk how'd you'd make it work given you havn't given any details on that... but with a PR, I'd think this guy already looks like one in a way:
http://www.serebii.net/blackwhite/pokemon/625.png
Not quite sure how some of those other Pokemon would work as a PR... depends how you protray it but I don't really...'see' it yet. Also, why ten; just because that's the number of TCG types? Would that be too many a number of main characters if you intend them to be that, I wonder? (It won't necessarily be if you can handle them, but it's more than what I recall the team being, and would be harder).

imevil November 16th, 2012 7:57 PM

I've got this idea for a fanfic. It takes place in between the times of Black and Black 2. It's from the eyes of an ex-Team Plasma who now has realized his mistakes and changed his ways. He has now dedicated his life to the dangerous path of fighting Plasma. He knows much about the organization, as he worked for it, and he uses his knowledge to help destroy there plans. I haven't seen to many fics from the evil side, especially one like this. What do you guys think about it?

bobandbill November 16th, 2012 9:21 PM

Worht a shot, certainly; could be interesting seeing it from the perspective from an ex-team member (I suppose ala Pokemon Colosseum with its protagonist actually), and you'd have a lot of things to play around with that way too. Any plans to show/explain why/how he realised his mistakes? I know there's a few members of plasma who felt they were wrong 2 years back in the B2W2 games.

imevil November 17th, 2012 4:04 AM

He realizes his mistake due to realizing that what Plasma was doing is wrong. And that there true plans where to just steal Pokemon and build an army. He believed they where actually working for the good of the Pokemon like many believed.

Kung Fu Ferret November 17th, 2012 12:26 PM

I was recently inspired by Pokemon Conquest to totally redo my Pokemon and Kingdom hearts Crossover. It will take place only in worlds of Kingdom Hearts, but with Pokemon, and traveling through the Lanes Between. It will be focused on three main characters that are Keyblade wielders, and all friends with each other, that are training with Masters Eraqus, Yensid, and Nomekop. Each hero will come with their own unique story and some worlds are exclusive to a particular one's plot. But Master Xehanort wants to control all worlds, and Pokemon, for himself, and is unleashing the Heartless, and also closing the door to some Pokemon's hearts, to achieve his goals.

Trava is a young woman, with her Knowledge, and a Chikorita, alongside a great sense of justice, she will do anything to protect her friends, Pokemon, and allies. She has green armor, red hair, and blue eyes.

Ogon is an adolescent male, with his Emotion, and a Cyndaquil, alongside a childish attitude, he will persist at his goals until the end. He has red armor, blue hair, and green eyes.

Vody is a great man, with his Willpower, and a Totodile, alongside a poor sense of Light and Darkness, he will do just about anything to prove to others that he is worthy of a Keyblade. He has blue armor, green hair, and red eyes.

All three start out with a Kingdom Key. Trava's is colored like Palkia, Ogon's is colored like Dialga, and Vody's is colored like Giratina.

(Fun fact: The names of our heroes are Russian for the type of Starter they have chosen.)

The worlds are (brace yourselves for a long list of worlds)

1. Land of Departure (all)
2. Twinkling Town [Traverse Town and Twilight Town combined] (all)
3. Enchanted Dominion (Vody only)
4. Dwarf Woodlands (Ogon only)
5. Castle of Dreams (Trava only)
6. Wonderland (Vody only)
7. Beast's Castle/Fabled Countryside (Ogon only)
8. Agrabah (Trava only)
9. Olympus Coliseum/Underworld (all)
10. Radiant Garden/Hollow Bastion (all)
11. The Land of Dragons (Vody only)
12. Prankster's Paradise/Monstro (Ogon only)
13. The City of Bells [can't type it in French] (Trava only)
14. Disney Town (Vody only)/Disney Castle (Ogon only)/Timeless River (Trava only)
15. Atlantica (Vody only)
16. Pride Lands (Ogon only)
17. Space Paranoids (Trava only)
18. 100 Acre Wood (all)
19. Neverland (all)
20. Keyblade Graveyard (all)

Prepare for Pokemon Xrossed: Kingdom Hearts! Coming soon to Pokecommunity! VM or PM me with critique and praise!

Astinus November 17th, 2012 7:36 PM

It kind of sounds like BBS only with Pokemon and different characters. There's really not much to say beyond that, since there's not much of anything else to critique. I am wondering where the "Pokemon" part is going to be explained. How did worlds based around Disney suddenly wind up with Pokemon everywhere? Does everyone in the world own Pokemon? Or is it only certain people, like how it is with the keyblades?

Kung Fu Ferret November 17th, 2012 8:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 7414344)
It kind of sounds like BBS only with Pokemon and different characters. There's really not much to say beyond that, since there's not much of anything else to critique. I am wondering where the "Pokemon" part is going to be explained. How did worlds based around Disney suddenly wind up with Pokemon everywhere? Does everyone in the world own Pokemon? Or is it only certain people, like how it is with the keyblades?

That will be explained as the plot goes on.

Kroso November 19th, 2012 10:05 AM

I haven't done anything writing in a long time, so I'm completely rusty. I'm trying to think of a plot I'm thinking of implanting this in a Pokemon game, but I might convert it to a original IP.

"It's over, they've won. In a region in which the government isn't a hierarchy, in which opinions are respected. Now, all that is gone. The government has been overthrown and destroyed.
The streets are patrolled by goons at every turn, the folks are afraid to leave their homes. Neighborhoods have been torn down, and residents have evacuated out of the city. I never thought this would happen, yet it has.
Call me cryptic, but this is the start of a war. It has been planned for months, and they did it. The ones that were laughed at for years, they become the emperors of the city. In hopes that their disease doesn't spread through out the once respected nation, I plan to join the revolution."

Volcanix769 November 23rd, 2012 11:43 AM

Click on Pokemon Johto Adventures

My story is set like 15 years into the future after the BW events occurred. Unova Pokemon migrated because of various people traveling across the world for boats and how others just fly there.

Ok, so I got this. Well there's this boy name Blake Chambers, a 10 1/2 year old ambitious boy that strives to beat the Pokemon League like any other amateur trainer. He's inspired by me actually, but I will make him age though and have character development for his hot headed characteristics.

He can be kind of hot headed that can let people think of him as a kid however, but he is quite intellectual and skilled in fighting. But he has this father that was like him and left him at the at age 5.

His partner, Quil the Cyndaquil, is like aggressive. He has a bad past of how his parents were lost and how people were meant to abuse him, even trainers that tried to own him or that owned him would hurt him harshly. That made him quite a monster though, especially with his massive power.

Well, I tried making a team named "Team Earth", this evil organization that tries to get some special type of gem(s) so they can control the legendary Pokemon Lugia, Celebi, and Ho-Oh. But like Team Rocket, they get to steal Pokemon and they would test and experiment them for power.

They also want to have world domination. Team Rocket that was disbanded 15 years back, returns back to business to fight Team Earth for that same purpose.

Like I am planning on letting Team Earth make an appearance somewhere around the time Blake gets his 1st or 3rd badge of Act 1, where things slowly gets interesting while he goes his journey and get one of the sacred jewels that both of the evil organizations have by the monks of Sprout Tower.

Anyways, I kind of need help with this. Like for fighting styles for Pokemon, how do I seem to make them interesting? Because like I was planning on Blake's Elekid fight a trainer's Lampent that is strong and fast that knows Will-O-Wisp and Hex.

Astinus November 23rd, 2012 7:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volcanix769 (Post 7420011)
Like I am planning on letting Team Earth make an appearance somewhere around the time Blake gets his 1st or 3rd badge of Act 1, where things slowly gets interesting while he goes his journey and get one of the sacred jewels that both of the evil organizations have by the monks of Sprout Tower.

Anyways, I kind of need help with this. Like for fighting styles for Pokemon, how do I seem to make them interesting? Because like I was planning on Blake's Elekid fight a trainer's Lampent that is strong and fast that knows Will-O-Wisp and Hex.

I'm interested in learning why Blake gets one of the sacred jewels. If it has the ability to control a legendary Pokemon, I would think that the gem would be more guarded then, and not readily given to a ten-year-old boy. I'm sure you have a reason for it.

As for the fighting style, there's a few basic pieces of advice. Remember that the Pokemon don't just stand still during battles. Describe how they move when dodging attacks or performing their own. As for attacks, use them in different ways. Like in this thread, where Quick Attack is used to move around the battlefield, and not just as a quick dash to ram into the opponent.

Pointblank November 24th, 2012 10:26 AM

Hello, I am Pointblank, I am relatively new here, and I am planning on making my first fanfic. Here is the gist of the idea hope you like it:

The story takes place slightly ahead into the future, say 5-6 years. A "world war 3" has broken out, and involves everyone this time. The viewpoint will be of a 23 year old Martin Sharp, a part-time soldier who was called out when the fight breaks out. From what I have written down so far, the story begins in Turkey, one of the major battlegrounds in the early stages of the war.Through Sharp's perspective, the war would be chronicled through his and a few other characters eyes, although the story fixates around Sharp.

What do you of the fanfic forum think?

Volcanix769 December 3rd, 2012 4:03 AM

I'm taking a break from Pokemon Johto Adventures since my motiv is going down, so I'll try working on another fan fiction.

In addition to how I planned the Marowak story in May 2011, I tried writing a story based off how a Shuppet's life as a doll when she was with her master. I got inspired by this story in May about a Yamask. And see the synopsis in the spoiler, since it's long.

Spoiler:
So, I am writing this in Shuppet's point of view. It starts off as how she felt when she was alone at this store in Virbank City.

She couldn't even speak or talk at the time, but when people would see her, they wouldn't even pick her up and they prefer other dolls.

That made her pretty lonely, until she found a little girl named Lucy with her family visiting there for her 7th birthday.

She was searching around until she wanted that doll. Her parents asked if she wanted the other one since it looks better. But that girl pleaded that she wanted the Shuppet doll instead.

Then when they bought her, Lucy used to comb her pretty much and use her all the time for grooming with her annoying singing for the past year. That pretty much annoyed the Shuppet, until when she brung her to Pokemon School.

Normally Lucy would get teased for having light skin and purple eyes that don't fit her blue ponytail that they would call her a fish. She would cry and hug her doll. But the doll realized by how sad she would be and how lonely.

But soon her favorite cousin that she looked up to died in a huge fire. She would cry every day, every night, all the time.

But when she was 11, she started to treat the Shuppet as a family member now and stuff. She would take care of the doll and give her compliments.

But when Lucy was 12, the doll was put beside the window. She saw Lucy leaving with her backpack and an Oshawott. She wanted to cry out for her, but she couldn't and that made her sad.

She felt so lonely for the past month that she wanted to leave, but suddenly, she turned into a Shuppet. She was shocked at first, but she decided to find Lucy to reunite together.

TrainerTori January 6th, 2013 10:54 AM

Hi all. I'm really new to the forum, and though I'm not new to pokemon, as it's been part of my life since I was just a kid, I'm returning after a good near decade and a half of not caring.
One of the things I've been into between then and now is character development and script writing. I know scripts aren't everyone's cup of tea here, but I do put a lot of effort in to make sure that they're a performance and story, rather than just back and forth dialog. Hopefully you all will enjoy them, once I get around to starting to write.

Now we're onto my plot. It's still being thought over, but my mind's eye is enjoying it :)

Recently I've gotten into post apocalyptic stories (I know, I know - boooo overdone!) More the Book of Eli and Jericho type Apocalypse more so than zombie type that we see in Walking Dead.

My plot is a pretty heavy mash up of taking pokemon and dumping it in the world that was the over all scenery for The Book of Eli. I hope that doesn't lose me any credit as a writer (obviously my scenery inspiration credit goes to that movie) - it's just what /really/ inspires me.


The setting is some few decades past the year of the "last" pokemon league, as the were disbanded as the economy crumbled and resources were thin. Pokemon were now used as workers, and any type of recreational battling that wasn't purely for self defense was frowned upon. However, there still are some people who refuse to believe it's over.
In the "new world," pokemon are divided into 3 categories: Inedible Defense, Inedible Worker, and Edible.
So, unfortunately, if your pokemon is not rock, ghost, or steel - it's food, and if it's not your food - someone else is going to make it theirs. The regions have been too built up with new towns to fit any large sustainable farms.


sooooooooooooo, that brings us to my main character - Tori.
Tori is a mid-twenties female "trainer" who was raised by a gardener mother and fighting pokemon trainer father. Her mother, being a gardener, raised her family, as well as the family's pokemon, to be mostly herbivores.
Tori, at her introduction, is at the beginning of her "adventure" and has two pokemon:
Growlithe: a pokemon given to her by her father to "keep her safe - keep her warm" (his words to the growlithe)
and
Torterra: Her grandmother's pokemon that was passed down to her mother, and then to her. It is a very old pokemon, an though it can still get around just fine, and fight when need be, it is much happier dozing off. This pokemon is mostly used as a portable garden, as it's back can sustain plant growth.

I've toyed with ideas of what exactly she's going on an adventure for, and what I've come up with so far is that, similar to book of eli, there is a city of "elders" way off. I've considered it being the original elite 4 + red, and Tori's attempt is to convince them to restore the pokemon league and bring their powerful pokemon out of hibernation and attempt to restore order and convince the masses to find ways to rebuild civilly.

But ^ that is way off, and will probably take me forever and a decade to actually get to 8D....


Some random tidbits of things that are different in this world.

Large structures like pokemon centers and gyms were forced into makeshift shelters when disasters forced people out of their homes. Similar to the scenery at some shelters after the US's hurricane katrina - some were far less than safe and thefts, rapes, and murders run rampant. This caused most "good" people to be forced out of the shelters, and what is left is colonies of criminals waiting to prey on naive travelers thinking that the pokemon center or gym is their sanctuary.

Most of the good people, including pokemon center staff, have now been forced underground and there is an elaborate network of messengers that have created ways of passing medicine, vegetation, and injured pokemon undetected. (note: Electricity is still available but it is rare. Thieves [team something? who knows] will often use their own electric pokemon to follow electrical pulses of other electric pokemon being used to sustain power - so it's best to do without, or if you need it, to use very little very quickly)

umumumum.... .___. yeah. I hope it's not too cliche? ^^;

MichaelSK16 January 8th, 2013 9:57 PM

Hii PC FF&W community~!

I'm Michael and I'm brand new here. Fan Fiction and writing are going to be my main thing in my time here at PC and I'd like to begin my first project ASAP, so I'd like to get some input on an idea that's been floating around in my head for the last few days. A brief disclaimer: I typically don't do all OC or mostly-OC stories, but this one has really got me thinking and I'd like to give it a shot.

Basically, my plot begins in the real world for a brief period of time. Grady Myers, the story's protagonist, is a seventeen-year-old guy and just beginning his senior year in high school. He's still a huge Pokemon fan and a bit of a "geek." He's shy and kind of socially awkward. He's not very popular and doesn't like large groups of people. He used to have a close group of friends and they all used to love all things Pokemon: Battling and trading each other in the games, watching the anime, playing the trading card game, reading the manga. They are all vastly different in personality now and have grown apart through the years.

One common childhood love reunites Grady and his three one-time friends in the strangest of ways when a twist of fate brings these friends together in the same place, at the same time. An inexplicable accident knocks them out cold and sends them to an undisclosed location. When they come to, they're sprawled out in the middle of a forest. A series of events (to be left alone until I actually right my story) leads them to realize they have somehow ended up in the Pokemon universe.

This, however, is not the Pokemon universe they thought they had known in their childhood. It is far from it. Things don't always turn out well. People die. Pokemon run rampant. Sometimes Pokemon don't just "faint". Pokemon deemed good for food are bred for slaughter and harvesting. A real crime syndicate by the name of Nightshade epitomizes evil. They don't just steal Pokeballs from trainers. They kidnap, take ransoms, run the black market, and turn to excessive violence. That's the other thing, they come armed. Fully automatic assault rifles, handguns, and explosives are common loadouts for the typical NightShade grunts. They encompass the true criminal, and the worst part is their connections to high-ranking officials leaves them completely free from the law. Becoming a Pokemon trainer is not an ideal occupation here and is certainly not something for a 10-year-old kid like Ash.

Seeing as they have no way home, and being completely unaware of their area, they wander off and come across a man by the name of Dayan Aspen. They make up a story about how they're from another region and that they're lost. When Dayan begins to question them, Grady tells him they're looking for the local Pokemon professor and wish to receive their first Pokemon. Dayan, being that professor takes them back to his lab and their journey begins.

Basically, my idea here is still in a draft-type stage. I just wanted to get out the few ideas I'd strung together for this story and plan on building on it from here. I figure I want to make it kind of dark and ominous, but at the same time I want it to have its lighter moments. I plan on using a lot of sarcasm and humor throughout. I still haven't thought about what to call this region yet, but I am working on that. This will have mostly the same basic gym leader thing but it will have the tournament-based league championship like in the anime. Battles will be a lot more violent and gory. People and Pokemon alike will die. People will experience trauma and psychological issues. It will probably have adult themes and will have strong language.

Anyway, the actual story will basically keep swapping around between their quest with the pokedex/gym badges, their altercations with Nightshade, their in-group issues, and a few side story things. It may or may not have a romantic twist added to it. I just haven't decided that yet. The story will probably be pretty long. In prior experience, my writing will start of with a like 800-1000 word first chapter, and each chapter will get longer and longer, so this could turn into a pretty huge story when I actually start it.

I don't know if I've done a very good job with this post. I usually just start writing, so I'm not sure if Idid a good job communicating my idea. I hope to get at least some kind of response, though, even if it is negative!

Thanks~!

bobandbill January 9th, 2013 1:47 AM

@ TrainerTori, can't comment much on it being based on the Book of Eri or whatnot due to not having read it. =p Nonetheless:
Quote:

However, there still are some people who refuse to believe it's over.
What reasons would they have for this? Any attempt to try to set up the League of old, for instance? And who are said people? Any general trends? (e.g. offspring of former gym leaders/etc?)

That's also concern why Tori wants a Pokemon league again as well. The motive is fine, but there needs to be a strong reason/reasons behind it.
Quote:

In the "new world," pokemon are divided into 3 categories: Inedible Defense, Inedible Worker, and Edible. So, unfortunately, if your pokemon is not rock, ghost, or steel - it's food, and if it's not your food - someone else is going to make it theirs. Fire types may be so to speak self cooking (heh) but I imagine a source of fire would prove very useful.
It seems a touch narrow here; wouldn't it be better to judge a Pokemon species by species in what it can do? Say if there's any chance for electricity to be used, electric types would be great workers if they can figure it out. (And I doubt the like of say Voltorb would be good to eat, haha).

@ MichaelSK16:
Quote:

An inexplicable accident knocks them out cold and sends them to an undisclosed location.
Would this just seem an accident to them and actually be a reason behind said event, or really just be some incident? If so then be careful it doesn't come off too much as an event for the sake of getting them into the world.

The premise of them being in the Pokemon world but 'not as they know it' is one that holds potential but also one that has been done before. You'd also want to think through how come the league system is running as before when everything else is going so badly, and Pokmon frequently get badly injured/die, etc. I don't think it'd be at all easy to pull that off, so it may require some brainstorming. Just in case I'll say to try not to have it just dark for the sake of it (and same for you debating having that 'romantic twist' or not too).

Also: be sure that if you're having people from the real world teleported to this Pokemon world that this theme is consistent through the story. Otherwise you might as well just be using characters from the world, and it is as said something that has a fair bit of potential in it.

TrainerTori January 9th, 2013 10:42 AM

Quote:

@ TrainerTori, can't comment much on it being based on the Book of Eri or whatnot due to not having read it. =p Nonetheless:
8D it's a movie. A really good movie!

Quote:

What reasons would they have for this? Any attempt to try to set up the League of old, for instance? And who are said people? Any general trends? (e.g. offspring of former gym leaders/etc?)
Well, I'm thinking like in the games - you can't get certain things until you have gym badges. I'm sure there is some old hag somewhere holding on to the ever essential Surf HM, and refuses to give it to you till you can show you have whatever badge.

The specific scenario I had in mind is where Tori needs Fly, but the person who has it refuses to hand it over without a whatever badge (previous generation badge).
So, being naive, she stomps on over to the pokemon gym and is greeted by squatters rather than the gym leader she's looking for.
Well it turns out that the "current gym leader" (or who should have been) has basically given in to these squatters, allowing them to abuse the gym as long as they basically offer them protection from others. (Gym leader could defeat these squatters, but would rather not spend the rest of his life just defeating people to keep out of his gym, so he'd rather make a deal with one group, and let them fight his battles)
I imagine it's something like a grass gym, but it's been so destroyed that Tori walks in thinking it's ground/rock.
Anywho, she gets attacked and basically captured by the squatters and is kicking, screaming, and flailing like mad. Mr. pathetic "current gym leader" is all "let her go, she's here to talk to me"
viola, quick battle, she gets whatever "badge" which actually doesn't even physically exists anymore, so she grabs his jacket in an attempt to drag him out to the person with the HM. He slips out of it but she figures his jacket is better proof of a defeat than nothing, so she takes that as proof and he chases her, so when she gets back to the person with the HM, they're all like "you have no gym badge" tori is all glare-face at "current gym leader" and he makes the person hand over the hm.

*hufhufhuf* sorry if that was really wordy.
Everything is still up in the air, so that may be kinda confusing as you read it, but hopefully it makes a little sense at to why that clause was there?


Quote:

That's also concern why Tori wants a Pokemon league again as well. The motive is fine, but there needs to be a strong reason/reasons behind it.
Yeah, This is one thing I'm toying with. I kinda developed bits and pieces of the plot without having a goal in mind :X
So if you've got any suggestions, shoot them my way!

The only thing I can think of is just horridly cliche and I hate it. Basically, unlike the games, I imagine that the "elite 4" have all of the powerful legendary pokemon. Not some random kid who just happened to catch it :B
With the fights for resources, people are turning on each other and destroying what is left.

Tori, being raised a vegetarian and "farmer/gardener/whatever" is wanting the world back with farms, reserves, etc.

And she's always wanted to be a pokemon trainer, and she's just pissed that the world has come to a place where that's not an option anymore XD so she's just like FINE THEN, ILL JUST MAKE YOU MAKE THE POKEMON LEAGUE.

In her "life" right now, she can't do anything. She can't be a pokemon trainer like her dad, she can only farm these teeny little space on the back of a torterra with her mom, so she's just had enough.

So she's thinking she can convince the elite 4 and their super magical pokemon to basically "settle" petty disputes between cities, destroy dilapidated areas and rebuild them with renewable resources. (ie: put in "pokemon-made" lakes, feilds, etc)

Because currently, Elite 4 and a small town of people are just cooped up in their little happy city with their teenie gardens, sustaining their tiny sanctuary, and just ignoring the current state of affairs outside.

so, in short, she's doing this because she has nothing better to do...
Which is REALLY weak :/ so I really need help here, and if that involves changing a bit of Tori's back story - then I'm completely open to it.

I'd also considered, on a fleeting whim - though I don't want to include any deep relationships in my story line - I had considered her having had a relationship with one of the elite 4 at some point. (Before they were elite 4, then they became part of it and vanished) And thinks she's going to go convince them.
Though I would rather not shed light on that in the story and rather leave that till she gets face to face with him.

Quote:

It seems a touch narrow here; wouldn't it be better to judge a Pokemon species by species in what it can do? Say if there's any chance for electricity to be used, electric types would be great workers if they can figure it out. (And I doubt the like of say Voltorb would be good to eat, haha).
That's just a general breakdown ^__^, there's exceptions to everything.
So no, like voltorb and such wouldn't be eaten and would be used for electricity - worker, but at the same time, they could be used as defense.

However, like you were saying, in the case of a fire pokemon. It isn't completely white/black. A growlithe would be edible, yes, but it's also a worker. It would be a worker until food was needed.

but for pokemon like onyx, voltorb, etc - you can't eat them so they're always going to be defense/worker.

So a less than honest pokemon center is going to be more willing to heal your onyx than they are your bidoof, they'd more likely tell you that your bidoof is now of "food quality" and that their resources are going to cost more than his worth in "food"

MichaelSK16 January 10th, 2013 9:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandbill (Post 7481463)

@ MichaelSK16:
Would this just seem an accident to them and actually be a reason behind said event, or really just be some incident? If so then be careful it doesn't come off too much as an event for the sake of getting them into the world.

As I said, I really haven't put all that much thought into this one. I'm still working out the kinks and this is one of them. I've considered both possibilities and still need to think it through more thoroughly. I am glad that you noticed it, though. At least that means I'm not focusing on unnecessary things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandbill (Post 7481463)
The premise of them being in the Pokemon world but 'not as they know it' is one that holds potential but also one that has been done before.

The 'not as they know it' concept is more or less saying not everything goes as conveniently as it does in the 'normal' Pokemon world. People don't exactly live in harmony with Pokemon. The element of people For example, if somebody falls from a high place, they most likely won't go unharmed. (this is just the first thing that came to mind) I planned on using this in multiple ways.

My main plan for this would be that, especially in the beginning, the protagonists would need to realize the world is less-than-perfect. Seeing as though actual inhabitants of the world would be aware that doing stupidly heroic things won't necessarily turn out well, I could see one of the protagonists getting caught up in the moment and doing something of such a nature and somebody that is actually from the Pokemon world would make a snarky and condescending comment, scolding them for their stupidity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandbill (Post 7481463)
You'd also want to think through how come the league system is running as before when everything else is going so badly, and Pokmon frequently get badly injured/die, etc. I don't think it'd be at all easy to pull that off, so it may require some brainstorming. Just in case I'll say to try not to have it just dark for the sake of it (and same for you debating having that 'romantic twist' or not too).

I never even considered this part before. Thanks for pointing that one out to me. I think that I could make it work if there were like a referee/match judge kind of official who ends the battle at a certain point in official battles like a league battle. I planned on the protagonists encountering some pretty deranged people who would probably disregard this type of safety precaution anyways. Not to mention wild encounters + unofficial battles wouldn't really have a referee-type figure.
This is what the drafting stage is for, I guess. lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandbill (Post 7481463)
Also: be sure that if you're having people from the real world teleported to this Pokemon world that this theme is consistent through the story. Otherwise you might as well just be using characters from the world, and it is as said something that has a fair bit of potential in it.

I'm not really sure what you are implying here. By consistent, do you mean that EVERYONE in the world should be alien/from a different world, or that the protagonists just should be the only ones? I could definitely see making sure they aren't the only ones, but if EVERYONE was from a different world, I just don't see how that would work.

Anyways, thanks a lot for the critique! It has definitely got me thinking~!

Astinus January 11th, 2013 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelSK16 (Post 7485677)
I'm not really sure what you are implying here. By consistent, do you mean that EVERYONE in the world should be alien/from a different world, or that the protagonists just should be the only ones? I could definitely see making sure they aren't the only ones, but if EVERYONE was from a different world, I just don't see how that would work.

I think he's saying that the characters from the real world should act like they're from the real world. Like they shouldn't be used to being in the Pokemon world. You'd have to have a plot reason as to why these characters are brought in from the real world instead of being, for example, really sheltered native citizens of the Pokemon world from a canon region.

bobandbill January 11th, 2013 5:11 AM

That, and the fact they are from the real world shouldn't be a theme that's forgotten later in the story and just used as a beginning. Do they have any inclination to try to get back? What if some do and some don't? How do other pople act towards them acting potentially out of place? And so forth.

Didn't mean for everyone to be from the real world, haha. That wouldn't really fit what you are going for... although then again it's not something that doesn't have its own potential in a story, hmm.


Quote:

so, in short, she's doing this because she has nothing better to do...
Which is REALLY weak :/ so I really need help here, and if that involves changing a bit of Tori's back story - then I'm completely open to it.
Yeah, that would need some working on.

Try thinking on aspects of her backstory then. Why does she want to be a Pokemon trainer so much? Also, what benefits does the Pokemon League offer? As in not just to her but other people too? Maybe that can be examined and used as a motive for her to go request it (not just for herself but for other people/on other people's request as well). And maybe it doesn't have to be exactly 'like it was' as well - maybe she just wants a hybrid League, or one that offers something different that fits this setting better.

MichaelSK16 January 11th, 2013 6:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astinus (Post 7485874)
I think he's saying that the characters from the real world should act like they're from the real world. Like they shouldn't be used to being in the Pokemon world. You'd have to have a plot reason as to why these characters are brought in from the real world instead of being, for example, really sheltered native citizens of the Pokemon world from a canon region.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobandbill (Post 7486143)
That, and the fact they are from the real world shouldn't be a theme that's forgotten later in the story and just used as a beginning. Do they have any inclination to try to get back? What if some do and some don't? How do other pople act towards them acting potentially out of place? And so forth.

Didn't mean for everyone to be from the real world, haha. That wouldn't really fit what you are going for... although then again it's not something that doesn't have its own potential in a story, hmm.

That makes a lot more sense. I kinda figured that them acting out of place would be a constantly recurring theme from the start. I didn't, however, think much about motivation to get back, homesickness, etc. but it's definitely something that will be on my mind more now.

Abyssolwind January 12th, 2013 12:38 AM

Well, i'm back and my mind's still wandering.

A couple of ideas are really set solid now, but alas indecision cripples me still...


The first is called "Of the Dead".
It's a darker pokemon story with a little mix of reality, played on Yamask's pokedex entry. The human protagonist is a boy of about 18 who is assigned as "Death" by Arceus or giratina (i'm not sure just how much of a "demon" figure giratina is). He was once regarded as the most promising young trainer of the generation due to his skill - and he raised his pokemon without going on a journey. But when Team (undecided) attacked him and came after his prize pokemon after he had been interviewed on a news program, his pokemon sacrificed themselves to try to save their trainer. Rather than seeing this as an act of faith and loyalty, the boy though the was a horrible trainer for letting his pokemon die (yes, die - not faint) and refused to keep another pokemon ever again.


The secondary protagonist is an immortal hybrid lucario with a difference. As opposed to the usual and cliche "human with lucario's powers" he's a "lucario with no powers", fighting using a sword. He was respected due to his hardcore training and his perseverance even though he was weak - but shunned because he was slowly growing more human like. In a rivalry battle over a potential mate, he was killed by his opponent. But in death and as he approached Arceus, Arceus told him he was neither a pokemon or a human, and had no place to put him without causing damage in the afterlife's delicate hierachy. Thus - Arceus sent him back to the land of the living, essentially ignoring the fact that he died and pretending it had never happened. Since then he's been immortal - but he's still powerless. When he was revived, his clan thought he was cursed and he was exiled.

The human becomes the reaper in exchange for one of his dead pokemon to be returned to him - but in a cruel twist of fate, he is given a mask. It's much like a mask of a Yamask - but it is shaped like an absol's face. When he puts it on, it merges with him and his own personality is merged with his dead-absol - thus he has the memories of both, as well as his absol's dark powers and a big scythe. He is slapped together with the lucario at Arceus'/giratina's request - the lucario being drawn in by the promise of power as a reward and the human being bound by his soul to do as Arceus/giratina bids. Their quest is essentially to hunt down Yamask which have broken out of their ruin prison and possessed people. The yamask have possessed people and turned them into ghostly demon-like monsters, and the human and Lucario have to stop them. The Yamask may even be not human souls, but pokemon souls who have broken free of death and manifested themselves within Yamask. Thus when a human is possessed, they become a hybrid of whatever pokemon that yamask used to be

Pokemon actually "die" in this story. It works on a principle that all pokemon have natural armour - much like "shields" in a sci-fi film or video game - which is an inner energy which coats the body. The same energy that lets pokemon harness super-strength and generate special attacks. A pokemon's natural armour absorbs serious damage from attacks. When the pokemon "faints" its natural armour falls, and it becomes as frail as a human - allowing it to be killed by anything as simple as a knife. Normally when a pokemon faints it is returned to keep it safe, but if it isn't returned then it can be killed permanently and cannot be brought back.



The second is called "Stasis".
It follows the story of a boy who's a genius. He once fell into a coma after an accident, but was conscious the whole while and spent two entire years simply thinking about how the world worked. Through his intelligence and the time he spent, he gained a comprehensive understanding of how time and space works - thus allowing him to manipulate it to an extent.

He was then approached by a man who paid him to reconfigure a master ball, claiming his brother was dying and he needed a ball that could capture a human - thus keeping his brother intact until a cure could be found for him. Immediately after the boy fixed the ball - the man captured him.

The story begins 2500 years in the future, when the ball is finally opened again. Humans have become extinct all but for him. After his dissapearance, a breakthrough in genetic science meant people and pokemon began interbreeding - resulting in fertile offspring and thus interweaving pokemon and human over the course of a few hundred years. 2500 years later, there are no pure humans left, and all pokemon are anthropomorphic (humanoid).

The jist of things is - the human is being hunted by an "imperial" type force led by a dictator, and so flees to a rebel army to remain safe. Since he's stuck, he's forced to work with the rebels in their fight against the imperials. But what he doesn't realise, is that the "evil dictator" is actually a clone of himself - formed from a freak accident after he was captured - who has used his power to stop his process of aging. The evil him is the bastion of all that is logic, and it is after the boy's pokeball so he can use it to clone himself. The boy from the past stands for logic also, but as he progresses on his adventure he learns the value of ethics and morality - even when they aren't logical solutions. So then there's a big rebel/imperial war scenario that he's caught up in. He's frail - being human - but he can manipulate time/space around inanimate objects which he uses offensively.

The "Stasis" title refers to the pokeball system. That a pokeball freezes the pokemon's body and mind inside it - so a pokemon could be returned and then released a million years later, but the pokemon would only feel like it has been an instant.

Also, abstract nouns are personified as auras and living forces. Luck, love, time, space - they're all cosmic entities which can be communicated with and controlled if a person knows how they work. Partway through the story - his intelligence and a chance occurence come together and he has a sudden realisation. He wakes up the next day with a complete understanding of luck and chance, and he can use it to his advantage - winning poker games, generating improbable circumstances that favour him - so forth.

Also, many pokemon tend to be "half this and half-that". Eg. A mightyena that's a child of a mightyena and houndoom may be able to use flamethrower and other fire attacks due to slight adjustments in its anatomy as a result of its parenting.


Trying to think of something that hasn't been done before. I'm quite big on the "pokemon with no power" idea.

happyviolence January 24th, 2013 9:39 PM

Pokemon Fanfic Idea up for grabs
 
Hey guys, I joined the pokecommunity today to offer a pokemon fanfic idea that I've had for quite a while and have developed quite a bit myself. I used to write my own stories, and I would do this myself if I had an infinite amount of time in a day, but since that is not the case, I would like to "pass down" this idea of mine, so to speak, to someone who is interested. I'm someone who thinks of ideas/stories randomly and sticks with them for months at a time, always imagining out scenes and aspects to the story when I'm bored and have nothing to do. So, if any of you are active pokemon fanfic writers and have a passion for it, and would like to have an idea to give you quite the headstart, you just might have found what you are looking for.

So let's get to it. What is this idea of mine? It is quite lengthy if I tell you all the details, but I will list the most important and interesting parts immediately.

Remember the trailers for Pokemon Black2/White2, showing a more serious, badass, and dramatic side to Pokemon? One that is more truly to, I guess you could say, traditional mainstream Anime standards like Naruto, Bleach? Well, this story would embody that exact same feeling and energy (as it was inspired from the trailers).

The story takes place as an alternative pace of events to Black2/White2, 2 years later after the events of Pokemon Black and White. There is a group of three that make up the major characters (two guys, one girl), and one main. Team Plasma has succeeded much more than one would think - they now are well in the process of controlling all Unova - that includes the pokemon, and the trainers. Their goal is the cliche rule Unova but in addition, to have every trainer and pokemon (even the wild) under their control, so that all Unova's future generations of pokemon and people will be under the Plasma Empire. This Team Plasma is more serious than the one presented in the games, and they've been so successful because - get this - they are working in conspiracy with the gym leaders!

The Gym Leaders are bad guys in this story - each ruling over their city or town, carrying out the plans of Team Plasma in their area, conducting studies on how to effectively control wild pokemon, and inducing fear into their citizens.

From here, I will list more things for the sake of trying to keep it short( I know I can ramble on)
- Gym Leaders working with Plasma
- Elite Four, and Champion in on it as well, the strongest trainers.
- Select trainers from the past (Hugh, Cheren, Heartbreaker Charles, Alder, N) part of a small and relatively weak resistance organization, with their own stories of what's happened since Hero v. N (Zekrom v. Reshiram)
- Gym Leaders from other regions included (Flannery, Jasmine, Brock!)
- Infiltration and Mission-Style invasion/combat of Gyms instead of "walk in and fight"
- Increase of physical strategy in fights than normal pokemon games/show
- Some moves tweaked a bit to add greater, cooler effects
- 17 Gym Leaders - One for each type, included, which must be defeated
- Kyurem, Ghetsis all still there
- Drama between and among characters, ie. main girl character is Grimsley's little sister.

This will be like an undercover sort of effort to overthrow the growing effects and success of Team Plasma, the team sort of stumbling in on it at first and then gaining momentum and support along the way.

The team: (names can be changed, up to you) and their pokemon:

[note that they all start with one pokemon, and catch more pokemon and evolve them as they go on]

1. Pierce
- Arcanine (Ace) - lifetime companion
- Lucario (Roy) - noble brawler
- Sharpedo (Wrecker) - frenzied aggressor
- Metagross (Nixon)- courageous protector
- Gliscor (Raymond) - mischievous prankster
- Braviary (Hunter) - confident warrior

2. Jackson (Best Friend and Competitor at times)
- Floatzel(Rich) - lifetime companion
- Gallade (Ambius) - reliable soldier
- Houndoom (Hellhound) - cocky fighter
- Skarmory (Noblewing) - Sharp-minded one
- Rampardos (Spike) - Vicious Ripper
- Beartic (Zero) - fights to protect Jackson

3. Rina (found along the way, rich girl who knows how to fight herself in ninja-like combat. Royalty and Bad-ass)
- Roserade (Walter) - lifetime companion, like a butler to her, fulfills her every need. The only male on the team. Her trusty servant.
- Lopunny (Valencia) - trusted pokemon when Walter's strength just isn't cutting it
- Crobat (Shuriken) - High-energy pokemon, known to spin wildly while using steel wing, night slash, cross poison and the like to create a spinning shuriken effect, striking many enemies while hurling itself through the battlefield.
- Weavile (Kunai) - Sneaky feline, known to use ice shards from its claws, and throwing them as projectiles.
- Starmie (Lustra) - valuable jewel, psychic and water attacker.
- Chandelure (Delura) - Vicious specialized attacker, will-o-wisping and phasing through walls and electronic devices to render them useless.

I hope I haven't been too specific and haven't bored you all by now, but if anyone is interested in learning more, or has at the very least any further questions, please feel free to contact me via pm here or my email address [email protected]

y stri February 11th, 2013 7:45 PM

Well, it's me again, the person who starts projects but never finishes them. And yes, I'm thinking of starting another project.

I've decided to call it Fiore 2.0, and it's set a few years after the events of Pokemon Ranger. The idyllic Poke-paradise has fallen apart, and Pokemon have started attacking and killing humans, since most of Fiore is untouched nature, the Pokemon are more "wild". Many people have fled, even most of the rangers. The only ones still there are the rangers in Fall City, Fiore's largest and only city.

To make matters worse, the Go-Rock Quads decided their superstar status was getting boring and decide that while Fiore's weak, they'll take over.

And so it falls to the completely mismatched group of Fall City Rangers to save the region.

Then, just because everything wasn't confusing enough, the alternate universe versions of the rangers who are part of Team Dim Sun appear in their universe. (I can't tell if Palkia or Giratina would have the powers to send them there).

This will be a comedy, as it really won't take itself seriously. For one thing, one of the characters was raised by Mudkips, her AU version was raised by Tepigs, and three of the AU characters are a background character from Wreck-It Ralph and two Vocaloids.

FenrirDarkWolf February 11th, 2013 10:43 PM

I have this, odd idea, in which Leaf, Kris, Lyra, May, Dawn, Hilda and Rosa have a girl's night out, i.e. they try to pair their best guy friends together with other guys. Oh, and apparently Leaf's a magician, Kris likes swimming, Lyra's a gamer girl, May's into girly, cute stuff, Dawn likes to sit in fridges, Hilda's a tomboy, and Rosa likes to eat pie...
I don't understand either, it just happened....

StinkomanFan March 19th, 2013 3:35 PM

I had this idea.
What happens when you put down that Pokemon game? To the character you're controlling? Does the world just stop, or does only the character?
One day, a trainer just stops. He stops moving, he stops talking, he stops everything. They've seen this before and know their master tends to do this, sometimes for days on end.
Three years pass and their master hasn't awoken. They are naturally disturbed, trying to get him to do something, anything. The Pokemon's bonds with their human is tested, as years pass and wild Pokemon keep trying to kill their master for food. The psychic Pokemon says he has very little brain-wave activity, confirming that he is essentially a statue. As each Pokemon remember fond memories, they struggle to decide to leave him or move on.
Genre: Horror/Tragedy
POV: Multiple, usually first person
Length: About eight chapters including prologue and epilogue
OC's: Yes, the trainer and his team of six

bobandbill March 20th, 2013 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StinkomanFan (Post 7588406)
I had this idea.
What happens when you put down that Pokemon game? To the character you're controlling? Does the world just stop, or does only the character?
One day, a trainer just stops. He stops moving, he stops talking, he stops everything. They've seen this before and know their master tends to do this, sometimes for days on end.
Three years pass and their master hasn't awoken. They are naturally disturbed, trying to get him to do something, anything. The Pokemon's bonds with their human is tested, as years pass and wild Pokemon keep trying to kill their master for food. The psychic Pokemon says he has very little brain-wave activity, confirming that he is essentially a statue. As each Pokemon remember fond memories, they struggle to decide to leave him or move on.
Genre: Horror/Tragedy
POV: Multiple, usually first person
Length: About eight chapters including prologue and epilogue
OC's: Yes, the trainer and his team of six

It's a unique concept in part. I have seen the odd story of say a trainer saying goodbye to Pokemon when a new file on the game is being created, but nothing along the 'trainer stops moving because the game isn't being played' style deal.

Few questions that come to mind - do the Pokemon know anyone else with the same 'ailment' as their trainer? Do other trainers notice during the three years, or indeed in the past? And does the trainer maintain the same appearance when staying on the spot like that for so long?

Could certainly make for an interesting read, and indeed a rather unique set up. Worth a shot!

Cutlerine March 20th, 2013 3:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StinkomanFan (Post 7588406)
I had this idea.
What happens when you put down that Pokemon game? To the character you're controlling? Does the world just stop, or does only the character?
One day, a trainer just stops. He stops moving, he stops talking, he stops everything. They've seen this before and know their master tends to do this, sometimes for days on end.
Three years pass and their master hasn't awoken. They are naturally disturbed, trying to get him to do something, anything. The Pokemon's bonds with their human is tested, as years pass and wild Pokemon keep trying to kill their master for food. The psychic Pokemon says he has very little brain-wave activity, confirming that he is essentially a statue. As each Pokemon remember fond memories, they struggle to decide to leave him or move on.
Genre: Horror/Tragedy
POV: Multiple, usually first person
Length: About eight chapters including prologue and epilogue
OC's: Yes, the trainer and his team of six

This reminds me of an awesome story I once read (but now cannot remember the name of) in which a Trainer is trapped in the little segment of story leading up to fighting Brock, because the player keeps quitting when the battle goes wrong and restarting. Slowly, he starts to gain awareness of the situation, and... I don't remember the resolution, actually.

Actually, it's entirely possible that I dreamed that story rather than read it, but the point stands: that's the closest thing I can think of to this, and it was fantastic. Your concept is the same flavour of awesome, and I'd love to see it come to fruition.

I would have to point out, though, the high likelihood - assuming other people in the Trainer's universe are of the same independent mind as the Pokémon - that someone would find him and attempt to move him, or interact with him or his Pokémon. Perhaps that could be avoided by putting him in some kind of deserted location - or maybe you want to explore that, I don't know. Actually, you probably don't want to explore that; it's too much for such a tightly-constructed story as this one seems to be.

F.A.B.

Konekodemon May 24th, 2013 4:23 AM

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=7636085#post7636085
I am having writer's block on my InuYasha story. Can someone help me out here?

Astinus May 24th, 2013 11:20 AM

What specifically are you stuck on? Are you not sure where the plot is going next? Or is it that the wording doesn't work for what you're trying to say?

If it's the plot, do you have an idea of where you'd want your characters to end up? The end goal, if you will. Did you make an outline of the plot before or while writing to get an idea of what would happen?

Before someone can help you, you need some more information on what the problem is. The advice could change depending on what's giving you writer's block.

Konekodemon May 26th, 2013 6:39 AM

The problem is I don't know what should happen next, at all. You would probably need to read what I got so far to help me out.

moon May 26th, 2013 7:07 AM

Plan ahead a bit and try to figure out a goal that you want your characters to accomplish. Perhaps you want them to meet a certain enemy, maybe share a kiss, or maybe end up in some special place (or time!). And then - daydream and really feel what the characters are like. What would you do if you were them, and had a higher power (the author) nudging them to get to a special goal?

It's in times like these that having a baggage of roleplaying comes in handy ^^

Just my tip.

Konekodemon May 26th, 2013 3:45 PM

Well that only works when someone will roleplay with me. I don't like the way this site roleplays. I like roleplaying one on one. And I like R rated roleplaying.

Astinus May 27th, 2013 11:42 AM

You don't have to roleplay. You can think over the direction your story went and where you want it to go. If you have an idea how you want the story to end, you can look at where your characters are now and think of some way to nudge them back in that direction.

You say you don't know what will happen next. Is it just what will happen immediately next? Or the entire future plot is unknown?

Konekodemon May 28th, 2013 2:38 PM

I'm having trouble with what should happen in the next chapter. I don't know what to do with it. All I know is it is leading up to my OC Sakura dying in the same way Midoriko did.


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