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-   -   The "Infinite" "Wisdom" of Shanghai Alice (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=222095)

Dogboy2709 October 13th, 2010 3:46 PM

oh great Shanghai, when will a few of my old friends want to re-become friends with me?

Shanghai Alice October 13th, 2010 3:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogboy2709 (Post 6221584)
oh great Shanghai, when will a few of my old friends want to re-become friends with me?

Nitori: Why would you want more human friends...?

Reddo October 13th, 2010 4:44 PM

Oh great Oracle of Misteries... XD
I have a few questions!

1 - When will the sky become green?
2 - It's true that Deoxys is thy favorite pokémon?
3 - When will the word Twilight be cleansed of evil?
4 - What's the meaning of life, universe, and Mudkips?
5 - I have $2500,00. What do I buy?
6 - Can someone have a wisdom like thine?
7 - Art thou tired of replying my questions?

Thank thee, Great Oracle!

Dogboy2709 October 13th, 2010 6:27 PM

That didn't anwser my question. I'll re-ask that one later. i have another matter.

I found a spell that could put me inside any video game i choose. Will it work?

Shanghai Alice October 13th, 2010 8:15 PM

What the? You morons don't get it, do you?

Okay... I'll spell it out.

Shanghai Alice is... not here right now. I've locked him out of this little connection. I, Nitori Kawashiro, am the one speaking to you.

Get it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reddo (Post 6221696)
Oh great Oracle of Misteries... XD
I have a few questions!

1 - When will the sky become green?
2 - It's true that Deoxys is thy favorite pokémon?
3 - When will the word Twilight be cleansed of evil?
4 - What's the meaning of life, universe, and Mudkips?
5 - I have $2500,00. What do I buy?
6 - Can someone have a wisdom like thine?
7 - Art thou tired of replying my questions?

Thank thee, Great Oracle!

1. When you drink enough cucumber flavored beer.
2. Deoxys? Oh, yeah, Sanae told me about that thing. Uhh... I prefer Squirtle. You know, water creature, has a shell...
3. When our local lazy miko gets off her butt and purges the horrible sinner responsible for it.
4. The meaning? I don't know, as The Question hasn't been given to us Kappa yet. I know The Answer, though. It's 42.
5. A checkbook so you can donate the rest of it to Nitori Tec.
6. Obviously, I can. Kappas, they're awesome.
7. Yes, human, I am. Now go away, unless you want to tell me about the outside world.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogboy2709 (Post 6221863)
That didn't anwser my question. I'll re-ask that one later. i have another matter.

I found a spell that could put me inside any video game i choose. Will it work?

You mean those simulated reality things?

Spells typically aren't good for that. You want one of Eirin's drugs, or Kappa technology if you're gonna poke around inside your head.

-Nitori

Reddo October 14th, 2010 8:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanghai Alice (Post 6222015)

7. Yes, human, I am. Now go away, unless you want to tell me about the outside world.


Oh.. of course! The outside world is full of wind, leaves and some water too...

What do you look like? From your name, it seems that you're something green...

Are you a kappa?

Shanghai Alice October 14th, 2010 3:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reddo (Post 6222559)


Oh.. of course! The outside world is full of wind, leaves and some water too...

What do you look like? From your name, it seems that you're something green...

Are you a kappa?

Only the best, human boy! I, Nitori Kawashiro, have perfected several brilliant kappa inventions, bringing Gensokyo's technological level in line with your twentieth century.

But... I'm really glad to hear that the outside world still has leaves and water. From Yukari's baseless propaganda friendly and loving pamphlets, I thought that you people had turned the Earth into one big city.

Not that that would be a bad thing, but maybe the local gods upstairs (Literally upstairs. Kanako is a bad neighbor, especially after feasts) would get upset.

More outside information! Feed it to me!

Reddo October 14th, 2010 6:04 PM

Do you like Mudkips? When I think of a Kappa, I imagine a Mudkip or a Golduck...
Will someday I get wise like you?

Shanghai Alice October 14th, 2010 7:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reddo (Post 6223399)
Do you like Mudkips? When I think of a Kappa, I imagine a Mudkip or a Golduck...
Will someday I get wise like you?

When you think of a kappa...

You...

...

RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU? OH! LOOK! NITORI'S NOT A KAPPA! SHE LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN! HAHA, WHAT KIND OF KAPPA LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN?

I DO. You think I'm HAPPY about my appearance? You think I want to look like a human? Is that it? Do you really think I'm that dead to my emotions, that you can make fun of me at your leisure?

Listen here, human. I might not like your kind in Gensokyo, and I might try to avoid physical contact at all costs, but...

YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG KAPPA.

Garouga! Bare Your Fangs! October 15th, 2010 3:35 AM

I just have one simple question.

If Taco Bell is made from dog food-quality meat, why do I love it so much?

Dogboy2709 October 15th, 2010 6:20 AM

okay Nitori, Do you know about the Legendary Ra's Mirror? This mirror is said to reveal the truth. and i happen to have it right here in my very possession! *holds Ra's Mirror to Nitori's face*

Reveal your trure form! (Yay for Dragon Quest Reference)

Pokestick, good times. October 16th, 2010 3:02 AM

O Alice of China's biggest city, how's my theme?

Shanghai Alice October 17th, 2010 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garouga! Bare Your Fangs! (Post 6224023)
I just have one simple question.

If Taco Bell is made from dog food-quality meat, why do I love it so much?

Because the "Secret Ingredient" is controlling your mind, human boy. After all, when the kappa are asked to make food addictive, we don't do things halfway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogboy2709 (Post 6224116)
okay Nitori, Do you know about the Legendary Ra's Mirror? This mirror is said to reveal the truth. and i happen to have it right here in my very possession! *holds Ra's Mirror to Nitori's face*

Reveal your trure form! (Yay for Dragon Quest Reference)

...*GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH* NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay, okay, okay. Sheesh, you've got me. I, Cirno, have been discovered, but I, Cirno, shan't allow this to continue! On your guard, fool! I'm the strongest! I shall- *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, WINGSHOT* MY WING! CURSE YOOOOU! *Flies away*

...*Reloads* Yeah, just fly away, little fairy. That's what I thought.

....you have no idea what I've had to do to get here. I've had to crawl through twelve miles of raw sewage, beat up Yukari Yakumo to punch through the Boundary, and break past Youkai Mountain's defenses.

Rage.

Anyway, I'm back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pokestick, good times. (Post 6226023)
O Alice of China's biggest city, how's my theme?

Personally, it needs more Alice, and needs more Shanghai. Yes, rework it in my image! MINE!

Dogboy2709 October 17th, 2010 6:27 PM

Oh, Great Alice, When will Virtualization into a virtual world where monsters try to massacre us with lasers become possible?

Maraala October 17th, 2010 6:54 PM

O Great Shangy, will there be a zombie apocalypse?

Shanghai Alice October 19th, 2010 6:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogboy2709 (Post 6230259)
Oh, Great Alice, When will Virtualization into a virtual world where monsters try to massacre us with lasers become possible?

When Code Lyoko becomes a half-decent show. :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammyskitty (Post 6230322)
O Great Shangy, will there be a zombie apocalypse?

No, there will not be.

Not another one.

For Sammyskitty...

You are the zombies.

Garouga! Bare Your Fangs! October 19th, 2010 6:59 PM

Oh great and powerful...erm...mystic, why do I delude myself by thinking that the crap I write is good?

Akita October 19th, 2010 7:08 PM

Shanghai Alice, why don't people listen to Nick and "wait before they hate"?

Maraala October 19th, 2010 7:26 PM

Mr. Alice, what is the TRUE purpose of cucumber-flavored beer?

Pokestick, good times. October 20th, 2010 8:55 AM

Oh Arisu, why can't I come up with anything creative to ask?

Shanghai Alice October 20th, 2010 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garouga! Bare Your Fangs! (Post 6234154)
Oh great and powerful...erm...mystic, why do I delude myself by thinking that the crap I write is good?

...

You mockin' me, boy?

JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE GOOD FANFICTION DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO RUB SALT IN THE WOUND, DARNIT.

Also, probably because you're using a Cursed Pen, which is unequippable, so you have to write, no matter how much you suck. :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akita (Post 6234183)
Shanghai Alice, why don't people listen to Nick and "wait before they hate"?

Because hatred is such a joyous emotion that holding it back would be foolish.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Why wait? Hate today!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammyskitty (Post 6234248)
Mr. Alice, what is the TRUE purpose of cucumber-flavored beer?

...cucumber-flavored beer? What nonsense is this?

*Psst, Azure, you there? I need you to toss this guy offa my expensive-looking balcony.*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pokestick, good times. (Post 6234960)
Oh Arisu, why can't I come up with anything creative to ask?

...Arisu-chan?

I don't want to deal with her, but, because you asked...

No. I'm not bringing Arisu into this. Bad stuffs will happen. She'll open her head and eat someone.

*Shudder*

((Yes. That's an actual meme. The Arisu-chan yukkuri is really creepy.))

Haunted House of Onyx October 20th, 2010 7:44 PM

Who will I haunt when I die?

Shanghai Alice October 20th, 2010 7:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haunted House of Onyx (Post 6236342)
Who will I haunt when I die?

Yuyuko, if you live in Soviet Russia.

Haunted House of Onyx October 20th, 2010 7:49 PM

Okay, How do I get an attractive woman to love me?

Garouga! Bare Your Fangs! October 20th, 2010 7:51 PM

Should I go down to Florida this weekend to waste all of my money at the dog track?


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