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Izanagi's Film Reviews
This thread is dedicated to reviewing any and all films, regardless of genre and age, (unless it violates guidelines). I'm always open to requests, and critique. Please critique. It's the only way I'll get better. Without any further adieu, my rules and reviews.
Guidelines - No Horror films, unless it's a parody or satire, or comedy of the genre (ect. Zombieland). - No pronographic movies, obviously. - This is all purely opinionated. Don't go ape crazy if you disagree, but do feel free to post your rebuttles, disagreements, and debates. - I'll review both independent and corporate films. - MY REVIEWS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. List of Reviews Completed Zombieland The Princess Bride Review #1 - July 27, 2010 http://z.about.com/d/horror/1/0/o/8/0/-/Zombieland15.jpg Our heroes of this film, in order from L to R, Wichita (Emma Stone), Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenburg), and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Zombieland Review I’m not a fan of Zombie films. I’m not a fan of Horror films in general. Luckily this is more of an action comedy that aims to overall entertain instead of strike fear. My reason for disliking horror films? It was just never my thing, mostly because I’m easily frightened, something I apparently have in common with the protagonist of this movie, a college aged boy named Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), named such because of his current destination in this film, Columbus, Ohio, to find his family that he never really had. Why else is he heading there? Well, apparently a breakout of Mad Cow disease eventually broke out into Mad Human disease, and next thing you know, America is literally overrun with zombies and riddled with the aftermath of said breakout, including abandoned cars, homes, and corpses. Seems like your generic zombie post-apocalyptic film right? You know, lone survivor looking for other survivors and a new, zombie-free, home. Sure, that basic concept has been beaten like a dead horse, but, hey, it works, and feels fresh and successfully executed in this film, so I won’t put it against it. As I previously stated, Columbus is afraid of everything, and consequently, super cautious. In order to survive this zombie outbreak, he has prepared some guidelines for surviving, including such rules as rule number one, Cardio, which he does to remain quick enough to outrun the sprinting zombies of Zombieland (what survivors refer to America as after the breakout), and rule number two, Double tap, which means to hit your target twice to ensure a successful kill. However, the biggest of Columbus’ fears is his phobia of clowns, an inner demon he’ll find himself confronting sooner or later. After losing his ride in a zombie ambush, Columbus finds himself a new partner in the form of gun-toting, hot-tempered Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), who picks him up. Tallahassee apparently has no other goal in Zombieland but to locate a Twinkie. Nevertheless, he too suffers from inner demons, as he is in remorse over his “puppy” that was supposedly killed when the zombies appeared. In order to find some Twinkies, the two of them stop at the nearest grocery store to locate them. After fighting their way to the back of the store, they are met by a young woman who asks them to help her kill her younger sister, at her request, since she has apparently been infected by a zombie. This turns out to be a trick, and the sisters escape with Columbus and Tallahassee’s weapons and ride. http://www.seanax.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/zombieland-500x331.jpg "Don't swing, don't swing, don't swing, don't swing... SWING!" The two guys continue their travels on foot, and eventually come across a Hummer, with a plethora of weapons found in the backseat after Columbus decides to check (Refer to rule number thirty-one, check the backseat). However, they are once again conned out of their equipment by the sisters, who reveal themselves as Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), and the older one being Wichita (Emma Stone). At this point, the girls decide to take the boys as “prisoners” and the four of them drive off together, and though they initially start out sort of rough, they slowly come to an understanding with each other, and using one another begin to mend their inner demons, including their mutual lack of trust in each other. The girls are on their way to California so that they can go to the Pacific Playland amusement park, but unfortunately, Columbus comes to the realization through Wichita that Ohio has been completely destroyed at the hands of the zombies, and has to give up on his search and hope at having a family. After finally arriving in California, Columbus informs the others of his concern that they aren’t getting enough sleep, so at Tallahassee’s suggestion, they stop and take refuge in the apparently abandoned mansion of actor Bill Murray, much to everyone’s shock and awe, save for young Little Rock, who doesn’t know who Bill Murray or anyone his work’s are, much to Tallahassee’s distain. To remedy this, Columbus takes Little Rock to Murray’s home entertainment theatre, where they proceed to watch Ghostbusters, but also so that Columbus can obtain some Intel on Wichita, who he has found himself infatuated with. Meanwhile, Tallahassee and Wichita explore other parts of the mansion, only to find that Bill Murray is still alive and well, but in zombie drag in order to be able to walk outside without fear of attack. After the three of them converse, they plot to play a prank on Columbus, but things go wrong, and, shockingly, he shoots Bill Maury! You can tell I like this movie, and I like Bill Murray, cause out of this entire film, this is the only part that made me wanna stop the movie for a split second! After a quick ceremony in Maury’s memory, the group continues to reside in his home, and though Columbus and Wichita appear to begin to hit it off, the mood is ruined when Tallahassee calls for Columbus. As Columbus and Wichita begin to bond, so do Tallahassee and Little Rock. Little Rock finds appears to find a father figure in Tallahassee, and Tallahassee seems to be able to use Little Rock to fill the gap where his “puppy” once was. Later that night, Tallahassee reveals to the others that said puppy was actually his son, who was presumably killed by the zombies. However, the team is split up when, once again, Wichita and Little Rock run off with the ride, heading to the Pacific Playland. Refusing to give up the closest thing to a family he’s had, Columbus opts to follow them, much to Tallahassee’s disagreement, but eventually gives in, as he realizes that he’s grown attached to the others as well. And not a moment too soon, as meanwhile back with the girls, their activation of the previously shutdown park resulted in the alarming of every zombie within a few miles radius, and the guy’s have to show up to save the day. By hacking their way through waves of zombies, and through Columbus standing up to his fears and ironically defeating a zombie clown, the team is reunited as Columbus comes to the realization that Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock are his family now, and after Tallahassee obtains a long sought after Twinkie, the group hits the road again. This film is drop dead, pun intended, funny, and the action, future pun also intended, is to die for. The film successfully glosses over many of the clichés of this genre, but revives them, (and, no, I can’t get enough of these), to make them fresh and appealing, even to viewers like me, who can’t stand zombie and other horror films. With the recent confirmation of a sequel soon to be in the works, and a 2011 release planned, I’m ready for a return to Zombieland. 88 out of 100 |
Great review, I really enjoyed this movie as well! You're really good at this!:D
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Thanks. I plan on reviewing The Princess Bride next, but do you have any requests?
Review #2 - July 27, 2010 http://www.reddyzoo.com/uploaded_images/sminigo1-731847.jpg His name is Inigo Montoya. You killed his father. Prepare to die. The Princess Bride Review The Princess Bride. This is a very peculiar film. I’ve seen this movie a plethora of times throughout my life, starting from a very young age, but it seems that every time that I see this movie; I can’t remember a darn thing about it! It’s not that it’s a bad movie, and it’s not a boring movie, but for some reason, it just never stands out in my head. Whenever someone mentions the legendary lines, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die”, it’s like my mind resets! I know that it’s a line from a famous movie, but I don’t know who says it, or what movie! With the name Inigo Montoya, and the context of his statement, I usually presume that it’s from some movie with a ninja, usually affiliated with Ninja Gaiden’s Ryu! That is far from the case. The Princess Bride is an adventure, slash romance, slash comedy. What else could you possibly ask for? The film opens with an ill young, bedridden boy (Peter Falk), who is visited, much to his distain, by his grandfather (Fred Savage). Savage’s character greets the boy with a book which has been traditionally read to all of the men in their family for the past couple generations, so Savage takes it upon himself to read the story to the boy, again, to the child’s distain. The book is respectively entitled “The Princess Bride”, and Savage begins. The book itself begins with the introduction of a woman named Buttercup (Robin Wright). I instantly though of the Powerpuff Girls, but don’t hold that against me. Anyway, Buttercup lives on a farm where she is assisted by a farmhand named Westley (Cary Ewles), who is known for his statement, “As you wish”, and eventually the two of them form a strong love for one another. Unfortunately, Westley is dirt poor, so the only way he would be able to afford to marry Buttercup is if he sought his fortune abroad. His plans are cancelled when his ship is attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts and he is apparently killed since he holds no hostages. Buttercup is heartbroken, and claims that she’ll never love again. This won’t stop her from turning around and being engaged to the renowned Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon) in five years time, though. While out riding, Buttercup is kidnapped by three goons, Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), Fezzik (Andre the Giant), and Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), the poster boy of this movie. Vizzini plans on killing the princess, though Inigo and Fezzik have their doubts about the plan overall. They are pursued to an island by a masked man in black, who proceeds to defeat both Inigo and Fezzik, but kills Vizzini via a poison trick. He rescues Buttercup, revealing himself to be Westley, who survived his encounter with the Dread Pirate Roberts and returned after a few years of fencing training. Westley is sad that Buttercup did not wait for him, and when she brings up the fact that he was presumed dead, he tells her that not even death can stop true love. Yes, this is truly a fairytale indeed, which the ill boy from before will not stop reminding us enough. The lover’s reunion is cut short when Humperdinck and his band of merry men arrive and “rescue” Buttercup, promising to leave Westley be, when in reality he is taken to the castle’s torture chamber. A depression on Buttercup’s behalf is noticed by Humperdinck and his vizier, Count Rugen (Christopher Guest), so Humperdinck further secures his title as Humperdick, (you’ll have to excuse my puns), by lying to Buttercup, telling her that he’ll send for Westley. Little does Buttercup realize that Humperdinck plans on murdering her and using her as a vehicle to trigger war with the distant land of Guilder. Eventually Buttercup calls Humperdinck out on his lie, and in rage at being demeaned, tries to kill Westley through torture. Meanwhile in town, Fezzik and Inigo are recuperating and decide to invade the castle to kill Rugen, as Rugen is the man with six fingers who killed Inigo’s father many years ago, and Inigo has dedicated his life to finding and killing him ever since. However, they decide that in order to pull off such a feat, that they’ll need the assistance of the masked man, whom is Westley. Westley’s punishment at Humperdinck’s hands is so great, that the entire country of Florin can hear it, and the two of them set out to the castle to find him. When they initially recover Westley, he appears dead, but after taking him to the local Miracle Man, Inigo is revived, and they storm the castle together, Fezzik and Inigo for Rugen, and Westley for Humperdinck and Buttercup. Eventually, all three of them successfully achieve their goals, and escape the castle, apparently living happily ever after, after sharing the most passionate kiss known to man. No, seriously, they did. With the book completed, it appears that the boy has a new found respect for his grandfather, and wishes that tomorrow he returns and rereads the book. His grandfather responds with “As you wish”, concluding the film. It was about the time that I got half way through this movie that I finally realized why I never remember it. The movie doesn’t really seem to stand out! It plays a lot of classic fantasy clichés to a T, but that doesn’t distinguish this movie much. The movie is MEANT to be that way. It’s a literal fairytale, meant to reference the classics! The damsel in distress, the suave hero and his bumbling cohorts, it’s there, but it’s played so well! The acting is sharp, the comedy is entertaining, and the movie isn’t boring! Everything is executed so well. It’s an undeniable classic. And, I know this is sounding crazy, but even when I mention clichés, the movie is also full of fresh innovations to the movie world that for every thing you recall, there is something new to learn. It’s just an enchanting movie overall, and every time I see it I remember a bit more and more. Maybe it’s the nostalgia filter, but who cares. See the movie. As if you already haven’t. 79 out of 100 |
You may not want to do another horror parody so soon, but I'll suggest Shaun of the Dead
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I don't mind. I'll post a review soon. What do you think of the others?
EDIT: Actually, could you provide a link to the movie online? |
:s Linking to or hosting movies online is illegal and is not permitted at PC.
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