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You, as a new Pokémon trainer explore the Kanto region in the events preceding Fire Red. But as you begin your adventure into this brand new world, you soon discover that there is a new threat against Pokémon, Team Aurora. It is your duty to discover the secrets of Kanto and the mysterious Pokémon Jirachi in this exciting and fresh story.
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Okay, interesting idea. You could probably develop it a little, with a bit of backstory, explain what Kanto is like now, hint at what Team Aurora's aims may be (some effects they are having on the region). It's probably not the best idea to start a sentence with "but," but I digress. Oh, and it's spelled "preceeding." :D
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- New maps - I'm sorry, but this is to be expected in a new hack - it's hardly a feature.
- New story - See above.
- All custom scripts - See above.
- Several Generation IV Pokémon - I guess that's cool, though isn't this Kanto?
- Choose a starter from any of the first 3 generations - Okay, I'm not a fan of such a huge choice of starters. I think it's better to make only three available at the start, and then make others available throughout the hack.
- Darkness Pokémon - Kay...not sure where you're going with this. Is this like the darkness Pokémon of Colosseum, or what?
- Chuggaaconroy is a trainer, featuring his entire Fire Red team! (if you don't know who this is, then look him up on youtube, best lets player and Fire Red walkthrough ever) - Okay, that's a...nice, idea. Though I probably wouldn't call him Chuggaconroy, maybe something like Roy, and then have an NPC near him saying that "he's a great trainer!" or something. Idk.
- More coming soon! - Okay, this doesn't really get people interested - it says that you've got no more ideas/came up with these features on the spot. Just say "and many more," or nothing at all :D.
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Crit in
italics.
Okay, first question: Which titlescreen is the right one? I'm guessing the first is the one you
want to insert, as that Pokémon logo looks like it's raising the palette way over 256, and the second is the one you
have inserted. Anyway, that text's gradient doesn't help at all, is hard to read (especially that text in the bottom-left corner of the first screen (I actually can't read it)). It's also been resized improperly in the first screen which looks really tacky - as does the Jirachi, which not only looks bad stretched, but has large white spaces which should be transparent. As for the second screen, well, it's essentially a recolour of the FR titlescreen with some tacky text and a Jirachi sprite thrown in there. I'd probably get a spriter to sprite a larger version of Jirachi for your titlescreen.
Isn't it "
Punch-Out!!!"? Anyway, average screens. It doesn't really tell me much about the hack though, does it? Except the fact that the carpet in the second screen is just empty. I doubted it was possible to have too much empty space in a house map, but you've managed to. Bring back that table!
Okay, there're two tile errors at the mountain part going to the right - it's missing two "tops". I'm not really a fan of making the player walk on that mountain tile, or walk down a one-tile-wide path, so this screen doesn't really help I'm afraid. Try to always give the player
at the very least two tiles to walk, though generally spaces should be
about four tiles wide.
Like I've said, I'd rather have only three choices, and then have all the others available throughout the hack through other means of getting them (sidequests, game corner, trades, etc.).
Okay, it seems a bit odd receiving your Pokédex in a cave, but I'm not sure how you want your hack to go so I guess it's near the beginning of the game anyway. The maps not too great though, there are one-tile-wide paths again and it could do with a bit more detail (craters, sand, water, different rocks, rock smash/strentgh boulders (they don't always need a purpose), etc.).
Text colour would be nice - it's a male talking, so make it blue coloured text.
The entrance doesn't seem to connect to the cave properly though that could be fixed with three simple block edits, though you probably should have noticed that before screenshotting it.
The turquoise palette could be mellowed a little.
This looks more like a Pokécenter to me. You should probably stick with the Mart's tiles and add in the staircase. Also, I don't really think I'd be a happy clerk having to be squashed in like that. Give it more space (though, again, this would look better in the Mart's tiles) and put only one of those statues - and move it out of the way.
I don't know if this is the first dialogue that the characters say, but if not it'd probably nice to put something like "GRUNT: I didn't realize we had visitors!" (yeah, that "that" isn't really needed). The map looks pretty mundane and is symmetrical, which is a big no-no when mapping. Try and make it a bit more curvy etc., and more like an island. Even Game Freak maps aren't this square.
cool story bro.
Anyway, good luck with this hack.