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"It's bittersweet."
When you lose something, or come to an end of a lasting chapter in your life, a lot of the times you feel happy and sad about it. Even with the loss of a loved one. Whether you're religious or not, you recognize that they are in a better place and don't have to deal with all the troubles in the world that affect you and so many others on a day to day basis, but still, you can't help but be upset about it.
The two words that make up bittersweet speak for themselves, actually. So my question to you, how do you deal with the lasting feeling of bittersweet moments in life? I'd say they're much harder to deal with than straight forward feelings that don't come with anything mixed, and I'm interested in how people, other than the ones I know, cope with such bipolar happenings. |
There's a difference in the balance of emotions depending on the situation. Like you said, there is that slight happiness that a loved one who has passed away no longer has to deal with the troubles in the world, but it's only a very small emotion when compared to the great sadness one can feel.
Although I find that I can never put my mind on the positive aspect of a situation, it will always wander to that negative side and focus on that instead, regardless of the weight on each side. Even a mostly positive situation will get downplayed in my mind if there's even a slight negative side. Guess it's just a part of my pessimistic/selfish nature. So I don't have a way of coping really, because I can't cope. |
Ideally I will eventually let them, the bittersweet feelings, become part of my past rather than lingering fragments of my present. It's like when you look back on yourself when you were 7 and something seemed so awful back then and now you can barely remember why you would feel that way. I start to think of them as experiences I can learn from and which brought me to where I am at the moment. I don't really know how a person can manage the feelings or try to change them so sor as long as it takes to get past the bittersweet taste I try to focus on something I want for the future, something I can aim for and enjoy and put my energy into.
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It would depend on the situation of the 'bittersweet'
If it is a death of a loved one, then I normally lock my emotions up and don't speak about them. I have had a lot of family and friends die through my life and the best way I deal with it is just lock it up and don't show it. There is only one time when I have cried at a friends funeral, is when my best friend died and me and my friends sang at his funeral because we were all, including him, were in an amateur dramatics group. It was when his coffin was bring brought out after the mass and we were singing the final song, half way through, it just got too much for me and I broke down. I have never been in such a emotional situation in my life. |
I deal with this particular situation by holding in my feelings, then when I just can't take it anymore, then I talk to a teacher or a parent about it.
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'Bittersweet' was my favorite phrase until a few days ago (you might have seen my themes XD). I used it to express the rush of abstract feelings I felt. Happiness and Sadness; a mixture of both. When I have to bid someone goodbye, I feel profoundly sad, which doesn't normally compare to the feelings I have about the times spent. Sometimes people can give you so much joy, moments to look back on, but they leave you with the feeling of sadness conveyed in your heart. It's an abstract concept to me.
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Usually I keep my feelings to myself, as I don't know how I would express them publicly because of all the mixed emotions surrounding the loss of a loved one. Funerals are more confusing than outright sad for me, as it is trying to weigh me missing them versus them not suffering anymore in this world.
I did cry my eyes out, however when my parents traded in our 1995 full-size Chevy luxury conversion van for a 1999 Suburban with significantly less legroom and less comfortable seats. |
;____;
omg! this is making me so depressed, I have to graduate soon and I don't wanna.. I'll probably deal with it through unconventional methods like having bouts of severe depression and drinking cheap vodka. |
Well.. a lot of things are bittersweet in life.. but that's what makes life what it is. Without those moments there is no potential for change, appreciation, or intra- and inter- recognition (self-actualization and a higher awareness for people around you.)
Live and let learn. It can be a positive experience if you have the assets to overcome it.. and that's how I see it as. There is time for mourning, but then there's also time for action. Each situation should be treated accordingly. |
I think that reason these feelings are bittersweet is because you know that they will be in a better place. Yeah, you are going to be super sad that you can't spend any time with them physically, but you will in time get over that. You will cope with that due to the fact that you know they are going a better place, you know that they are going to be a tons more happier. The sadness is on part of you actually losing them, the happiness is that you know they are far better off.
I can't say that I've ever had personal loss, so I've not much in the way of coping. But still, I am a very emotional person, and as a result, cry when other people cry. Call it empathy. I think that sometimes I am even sadder than those who the loss actually affected. I think that the best way to cope with it is to move on. The person usually wouldn't want you to go on moping about their death. Whether one believes in a heaven or not, they still typically respect the final wish of the dead, as long as it isn't too inane. Even if they don't verbally communicate it, or write it down, they still wish you happiness. If you are coming to the end, you are sad because you won't be able to live anymore. There are so many more things that you wish you could do in life, but you can't. There are so many more lives that you could have touched, yet now you can't. But, in the end, you have no real reason to be sad. You lived your life, you made your impressions. Everything is finally at its end. There will be no drama, no more fights. You can usually forgive people more easily. I honestly think that death is kind of a good thing, rather than bad in the end. Although you might live a considerably good life, you will always have times of suffering. When it is over, you don't have that anymore. |
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