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Livewire December 2nd, 2010 9:39 PM

The Post Your Problems Thread
 

Post Your Problems 3.0



The former thread was getting rather large and old, so time for a fresh start.

  • Adhere to the standard OC rules.
  • Same as before. Post your problems, but avoid unnecessary drama.
  • This thread is designed to genuinely help people. If you have nothing constructive to add, do not post here. As simple as that. Respect others and their viewpoints. Perpetual trolling/flaming will result in disciplinary action.
  • Don't post trivial problems, like "I forgot my phone at home" or something to that effect. Post here because you have a legitimate problem that can generally be solved.

These are subject to change, depends how the thread turns out. Any questions, don't hesitate to contact either myself or a member of Higher Staff. That being said, post your problems. b"b

Alice December 2nd, 2010 10:48 PM

Hmm... this is something that I've always just ignored, but it really is annoying... my parents have the worst image of me in their heads, while I'm like a freaking saint or something. (Epic exaggeration is epic.) But yeah, I always do my best to be a good person, and I think I do a pretty good job of it.

Still, they have this really negative view of me. Any ideas on how to change that? I don't want to just come out and say what I'm thinking, and there's literally no way to demonstrate it through my actions, since I'm already doing everything right afaik.

(Yay 1st post!)

Livewire December 2nd, 2010 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6321363)
CHANCE! I better come up with a problem quick. (Yay 1st post!)

Hmm... this is something that I've always just ignored, but it really is annoying... my parents have the worst image of me in their heads, while I'm like a freaking saint or something. (Epic exaggeration is epic.) But yeah, I always do my best to be a good person, and I think I do a pretty good job of it.

Still, they have this really negative view of me. Any ideas on how to change that? I don't want to just come out and say what I'm thinking, and there's literally no way to demonstrate it through my actions, since I'm already doing everything right afaik.

Well, If they have such a negative view, maybe ask why? Or go to them and ask them what they're looking for, so you know exactly what you need to do to patch up their opinion of you. This might sound kinda lame, but sit down for awhile and talk it out.

Bay December 3rd, 2010 6:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6321363)
Hmm... this is something that I've always just ignored, but it really is annoying... my parents have the worst image of me in their heads, while I'm like a freaking saint or something. (Epic exaggeration is epic.) But yeah, I always do my best to be a good person, and I think I do a pretty good job of it.

Still, they have this really negative view of me. Any ideas on how to change that? I don't want to just come out and say what I'm thinking, and there's literally no way to demonstrate it through my actions, since I'm already doing everything right afaik.

(Yay 1st post!)

I think Live Wire's advice is good as indeed you should talk to your parents over what they expect of you. However, in the end, don't be so hard on yourself if they still have a negative view of you. Parents tend to have very high expectations of their children and it's not easy changing their views of you. It's annoying, yes, but in the end it's you that knows yourself more than your parents.

Livewire December 4th, 2010 8:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bay Alexison (Post 6322521)
I think Live Wire's advice is good as indeed you should talk to your parents over what they expect of you. However, in the end, don't be so hard on yourself if they still have a negative view of you. Parents tend to have very high expectations of their children and it's not easy changing their views of you. It's annoying, yes, but in the end it's you that knows yourself more than your parents.

That's true, it's sort of their job to have lofty expectations, but you should be proud of that. It means that they think your capable of great things. ^^

Headfirst For Halos December 5th, 2010 12:14 PM

I'm not feeling so well.

Lately...

Spoiler:
I've been thinking of self-harm [which I haven't had the thought of doing so for about 3 years]. Nothing is enjoyable to me anymore... in fact, I don't even know what I LIKE because I hate everything... the problem is if I mention this to someone, they'll make fun of me/call me an attention *****/tell me to "go ahead and kill yourself". These are the kind of people I'm around, sadly, so I do not know where to go. My parents won't understand so I don't tell them anything.

PlatinumDude December 5th, 2010 7:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Headfirst For Halos (Post 6326223)
I'm not feeling so well.

Lately...

Spoiler:
I've been thinking of self-harm [which I haven't had the thought of doing so for about 3 years]. Nothing is enjoyable to me anymore... in fact, I don't even know what I LIKE because I hate everything... the problem is if I mention this to someone, they'll make fun of me/call me an attention *****/tell me to "go ahead and kill yourself". These are the kind of people I'm around, sadly, so I do not know where to go. My parents won't understand so I don't tell them anything.

Self-harm is definitely not the way to go. You're going to make things worse for yourself. For me, the best solution is to tell some form of authority your problem and what you/they can do to fix it.

I experienced something similar to you, and was originally keeping it a secret at first, but I eventually gave in and told my teachers and parents about it. Trust me, once you've talked to a few people about your problem, it gets easier telling other people about it.

Enigma December 5th, 2010 8:11 PM

Well, erm, here I go.
Spoiler:
I suppose that I have a few problems, so if this sounds too rant-like, I apologize.

I guess the first thing I should mention is...well, I can't really describe it. I really hate how my life is right now. I have so many projects, quizzes, etc. I know I'm sounding like some little immature kid that thinks life will never be any worse, but I can assure you that I don't mean that.
You see, I'm a 4.0 honors student. Everyone, from fellow students, to teachers, to parents, have repeatedly told me how much of an intelligent person I am. They all expect me to get 100% on everything. I do my best, but I always fell like I let someone down. If I get a 3.9, I think I'm going to go insane.
I'll try to talk to other people about it...but that's also a problem. My family thinks I'm just a naive kid, like I mentioned earlier, so they don't listen. Also, I have one friend in RL left, and even she isn't one you talk to about these things. She's moving next year anyway, so after that, I'm on my own.
I'm not motivated to do anything anymore. Honestly, what I look forward to everyday is coming home and sleeping at night, since you escape from reality while you are unconscious. I'm always under the impression that nothing will ever get any better. I'll graduate from school one day, get a job, and die.
I know, I sound like I seriously need some mental help.

Jolene December 7th, 2010 9:46 AM

Do you have to buy presents for your boyfriend's family? I don't really want to but I go to their house a lot so maybe I should?

Stratos99 December 7th, 2010 2:26 PM

jolene, i don't suppose you are married so i wouldn't worry about it. heck, i don't suppose your relationship is all that serious so i really wouldn't even entertain the thought. n_n

but if you want to be courteous (read: slightly over invasive) you can always get them something cheap from a dollar store. or even just a holiday card for the whole family. personally i wouldn't though, i bet they aren't even going to get you anything lol. you'll just make them feel awkward because they don't have anything for you. if they do however, keep that card in your back pocket and if they give you something worth more than a dollar, act as if you don't appreciate it and you're mad because you only got them a card. then it will be their fault and not yours.

Dooonerz December 7th, 2010 3:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfernoRogue (Post 6327061)
Well, erm, here I go.
Spoiler:
I suppose that I have a few problems, so if this sounds too rant-like, I apologize.

I guess the first thing I should mention is...well, I can't really describe it. I really hate how my life is right now. I have so many projects, quizzes, etc. I know I'm sounding like some little immature kid that thinks life will never be any worse, but I can assure you that I don't mean that.
You see, I'm a 4.0 honors student. Everyone, from fellow students, to teachers, to parents, have repeatedly told me how much of an intelligent person I am. They all expect me to get 100% on everything. I do my best, but I always fell like I let someone down. If I get a 3.9, I think I'm going to go insane.
I'll try to talk to other people about it...but that's also a problem. My family thinks I'm just a naive kid, like I mentioned earlier, so they don't listen. Also, I have one friend in RL left, and even she isn't one you talk to about these things. She's moving next year anyway, so after that, I'm on my own.
I'm not motivated to do anything anymore. Honestly, what I look forward to everyday is coming home and sleeping at night, since you escape from reality while you are unconscious. I'm always under the impression that nothing will ever get any better. I'll graduate from school one day, get a job, and die.
I know, I sound like I seriously need some mental help.

I see where you are coming from here. I'm not too good at giving advice but I'll try. Ok, do you feel that your life is too dull? From what you're saying, it looks like it might need something new in your life, to 'spice it up' if you like. This could be in a certain hobby that you enjoy, (eg. I use that through art, by just doodling or something like that, because I'm terrible at art, and don't have the skills to be a natural.) or it could be a person, that you may have feelings for. Or, it could be that you just need a holiday! Please don't take that seriously.

And when you are doing your tests, don't think about letting anyone down, or letting yourself down; just do the best you can. By the looks of it, you have, which is awesome. Just remember: these are YOUR grades, your marks, no one needs to tell you that you didn't do well in your test because *goes into cliche mode* you tried your best. And because you tried your best, you can then not feel the way you do, because you know that you have gone to your full potential.

Hope this helps!

<3

Jolene December 8th, 2010 9:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stratos99 (Post 6329833)
jolene, i don't suppose you are married so i wouldn't worry about it. heck, i don't suppose your relationship is all that serious so i really wouldn't even entertain the thought. n_n

but if you want to be courteous (read: slightly over invasive) you can always get them something cheap from a dollar store. or even just a holiday card for the whole family. personally i wouldn't though, i bet they aren't even going to get you anything lol. you'll just make them feel awkward because they don't have anything for you. if they do however, keep that card in your back pocket and if they give you something worth more than a dollar, act as if you don't appreciate it and you're mad because you only got them a card. then it will be their fault and not yours.

Yea I decided I am just going to get them an Audrey Hepburn calendar.


Quote:

Originally Posted by InfernoRogue (Post 6327061)
Well, erm, here I go.
Spoiler:
I suppose that I have a few problems, so if this sounds too rant-like, I apologize.

I guess the first thing I should mention is...well, I can't really describe it. I really hate how my life is right now. I have so many projects, quizzes, etc. I know I'm sounding like some little immature kid that thinks life will never be any worse, but I can assure you that I don't mean that.
You see, I'm a 4.0 honors student. Everyone, from fellow students, to teachers, to parents, have repeatedly told me how much of an intelligent person I am. They all expect me to get 100% on everything. I do my best, but I always fell like I let someone down. If I get a 3.9, I think I'm going to go insane.
I'll try to talk to other people about it...but that's also a problem. My family thinks I'm just a naive kid, like I mentioned earlier, so they don't listen. Also, I have one friend in RL left, and even she isn't one you talk to about these things. She's moving next year anyway, so after that, I'm on my own.
I'm not motivated to do anything anymore. Honestly, what I look forward to everyday is coming home and sleeping at night, since you escape from reality while you are unconscious. I'm always under the impression that nothing will ever get any better. I'll graduate from school one day, get a job, and die.
I know, I sound like I seriously need some mental help.

You should get some colorful drapes. That way when you wake up and the sun shines through your drapes it will project colorful colors onto your wall and you will start the day in good cheer.

Percy Thrillington December 8th, 2010 9:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jolene (Post 6329358)
Do you have to buy presents for your boyfriend's family? I don't really want to but I go to their house a lot so maybe I should?

instead of the calender, maybe you should do something simple but personal like a poem or perform a song with a musical instrument. that'd be p. cool.

tehGDS December 18th, 2010 1:30 PM

Meh I'm feeling really bad about the past.... and only friends I made here are 2 people, >< , and I try to be happy and everything but things get in the way, I join sports and clubs but I feel I'm never great, I went real depressed to the point where I want to hurt myself I actually did, I'm scared and I don't know what I can do.. my parents don't appreciate my talent, nor that they care I'm learning another langusge, they only want what's "best", but that path will eventually make me hurt myself, I don't want to become a doctor or anything, but they don't understand me, sorry hahahah this is just too depressing but they don't really even let me see the psychiatrist anymore,


yikes I read some of the posts, it looks like it's the same problem. heheheh, darn I also need help on a hack but I am still having a hard time trying, I'm not very mathematical :(

Kura December 18th, 2010 3:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tehGDS (Post 6348457)
Meh I'm feeling really bad about the past.... and only friends I made here are 2 people, >< , and I try to be happy and everything but things get in the way, I join sports and clubs but I feel I'm never great, I went real depressed to the point where I want to hurt myself I actually did, I'm scared and I don't know what I can do.. my parents don't appreciate my talent, nor that they care I'm learning another langusge, they only want what's "best", but that path will eventually make me hurt myself, I don't want to become a doctor or anything, but they don't understand me, sorry hahahah this is just too depressing but they don't really even let me see the psychiatrist anymore,


yikes I read some of the posts, it looks like it's the same problem. heheheh, darn I also need help on a hack but I am still having a hard time trying, I'm not very mathematical :(

I'd say sit down and try to talk to your parents about what you're feeling. Maybe all they know is that you don't want to be a doctor.. but don't know WHY you feel that way. If you could explain to them how you're feeling and that you need help, perhaps you can come up with a compromise.
Self hurt is never a good idea, and I know that school councilors or school psychologists are always free. Perhaps you can ask the front office to speak to one. (Don't ask to speak to a guidance councilor because they don't know anything about psychiatric problems) but try to speak to the school therapist.

You need to let your problems out on someone who can physically help you with it. As much as venting on PC will help you feel better, it wont solve the root of the problem and wont help to get communication with your parents back on track.

I hope this advice doesn't sound negative, but I think that no one here can really offer insight into psychological disorders such as depression. You need to continue talking to a trained professional, and perhaps try and talk to someone who can help you get through to your parents and be able to communicate effectively to them to solve all the feelings that you seem to be going through.
Good luck and let us know how it goes. <3 I'm rooting for you!

Fever December 18th, 2010 4:07 PM

The best advice I have for you few people above with similar sorts of problems is that you need to be who YOU are, not how anyone else wants you to be.
If you worry too much about what others want you to be, or want from/for you then you will never be happy.
You need to stand up and say this is who I am, this is what I want.

Parents and teachers will always want what they think is best for you, that might not always be what you want though. They need to understand that.
Communication is key. If you never stand up and say something then nothing will ever change.

One thing I don't understand is how self harm would fix anything or make anything better, how is that a solution to any problem? People who do that or even contemplate it do need some sort of psychological diagnosis.
[I'm allowed to say that because I'm on half a dozen different pills for my own personal mental health]

Shiny December 26th, 2010 4:45 PM

What do you do if you more than like somebody, but they might be confused about they're sexuality? : S

kidpunk December 26th, 2010 5:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jubilation (Post 6362190)
What do you do if you more than like somebody, but they might be confused about they're sexuality? : S

Ask this person if they like somebody that you both may know personally. Try to start up a topic with them about relationships, but don't do it in such a way where they'll feel uncomfortable with you. If they don't want to really press the issue, don't go forward with it. But if you listen intently to the person, you might be able to get a sense about their sexuality.

Kura December 26th, 2010 6:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jubilation (Post 6362190)
What do you do if you more than like somebody, but they might be confused about they're sexuality? : S

.. ._. Ask them out? lol.. or tell them how you feel? Unless you feel like you'd be ruining your friendship.. but you didn't mention that they were friends..

Shiny December 26th, 2010 8:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kura (Post 6362321)
.. ._. Ask them out? lol.. or tell them how you feel? Unless you feel like you'd be ruining your friendship.. but you didn't mention that they were friends..

I have told him how I feel, but the thing is, he never said anything, like at all and that's what makes me curious...

Kura December 26th, 2010 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jubilation (Post 6362465)


I have told him how I feel, but the thing is, he never said anything, like at all and that's what makes me curious...

Why don't you then ask politely? You can say that they don't need to answer you because it's personal.. but say that you were just curious if it was because they weren't (or were.. I don't know the situation) interested in you specifically or if it was a gender thing .__.
I don't see any harm in it.. it's just asking.. ._. Say that you don't mean to press them but it's been on your mind and you just really wanted to know..

rainbow December 28th, 2010 12:01 PM

This may sound overexaggerated or something but here I go.
Spoiler:
I used to have people I could trust.
I used to ask them for help.
But something happened when a "friend" of mine came round.
Cut a long story short he created an account on someone else's site pretending to be the site's owner. He also professed this fake accounts love for a girl.(who the site owner loves in real life)
He then pinned it all on me.
To make things look worse, I had recently had a fall out with the site owner.
All the evidence proved it was me and I had a concrete motive too.
I lost all my friends because of this.
I then became, how shall I put this, emotionally unstable.
To make matters a hell of a lot worse, the girl I love shouted a load of crap at me and told me I had made her life a misery and said I should leave her alone.
Also my teachers started calling me useless.
I am now an emotional wreck and I just want my friends and my love back.
Help me someone please!

Kishijoten December 29th, 2010 5:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Explorer Of Destiny (Post 6365176)
This may sound overexaggerated or something but here I go.
Spoiler:
I used to have people I could trust.
I used to ask them for help.
But something happened when a "friend" of mine came round.
Cut a long story short he created an account on someone else's site pretending to be the site's owner. He also professed this fake accounts love for a girl.(who the site owner loves in real life)
He then pinned it all on me.
To make things look worse, I had recently had a fall out with the site owner.
All the evidence proved it was me and I had a concrete motive too.
I lost all my friends because of this.
I then became, how shall I put this, emotionally unstable.
To make matters a hell of a lot worse, the girl I love shouted a load of crap at me and told me I had made her life a misery and said I should leave her alone.
Also my teachers started calling me useless.
I am now an emotional wreck and I just want my friends and my love back.
Help me someone please!

There's not much I can say that might suddenly change thing around but maybe this quote will give it a whirl!

“Family is other people. No matter how close your blood relationship is…no matter what your relationship may be…anyone other than you is not you! And so you have to think it over and decide for yourself! Take away other people’s wants and needs, and decide if this is something that is necessary for you! It may cause hardships to others…but you want it. That’s your free will right there! But you ignore that and decide based on someone else’s advice, because decency demands it, because people say it’s awful, you will fail to quit. No one could succeed that way! You don’t understand what you’re trying to do. With that as your background, how do you expect to make a promise to yourself? But the opposite way…there are risks there, too, of course. If you decide to take the action that best suits you, there will be people who won’t understand…people will be saddened by your actions.” -Yuko Ichihara

Hassan_Abdillah January 8th, 2011 11:11 PM

Help required: Microbiology
 
Hey awesome people ^^

Look Ive got a subject for my university: Microbiology. I do not have any knowledge as to what this is. I could use a brief intro if any of you please. (semester starts months later so still got time for a basic education)

Also, in High School my Biology was my weakest subject. So at a basic level, many things arent clear to me. To cope with undergrad microbiology education, what parts of high school biology would you suggest I go back and study? I.e. Cell structure etc?

Cheers ^_^

donavannj January 9th, 2011 1:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hassan_Abdillah (Post 6388366)
Hey awesome people ^^

Look Ive got a subject for my university: Microbiology. I do not have any knowledge as to what this is. I could use a brief intro if any of you please. (semester starts months later so still got time for a basic education)

Also, in High School my Biology was my weakest subject. So at a basic level, many things arent clear to me. To cope with undergrad microbiology education, what parts of high school biology would you suggest I go back and study? I.e. Cell structure etc?

Cheers ^_^

Microbiology sounds like it deals with microorganisms. Cell structure would probably help some, but I think reviewing viruses, bacteria, and microbes and the like would probably help considerably more, since those are all microorganisms.


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