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You'll probably think I'm crazy, but whaterever.
I'm a fourteen year old and in grade 9, and have a bunch of problems. Problem #1 I was bullied really bad in elementary school, so bad that in grade 8 I changed schools. I loved my new school so much! Everyone was so kind, and accepted me. Compared to my old school were people called me fat, an ugly beast and no one would want to be caught dead hanging out with me at break time. Like I said, my new school was way better. Then highschool came, and I lost most of my new friends and made almost no new ones. I remember in grade 8 on the last day of school I told a few of my friends how nervous I was because of all the new people in highschool, and everyone told me not to worry, because we'll all stay friends. They were half right. It seems everyone else stayed friends with eachother (and made new ones), and whenever I see someone I know in the hall they don't notice me. Even though I share a few classes with some of them, they don't say hi or wave back when I greet them. I have no idea why no one cares to notice me, and quite frankly I feel like I no longer have a place in anyones heart. Problem #2 I am completly fake in personality. I always act happy, smile and don't show anger or much sadness (at school). Everyone always tells me I'm so nice and that the wish more people could be like me, and then they go straight back to their friends and forget about me. I only act nice and happy all the time, because I'm afraid that someone won't like me. I know that it's impossible for everyone to like me, but thanks to my bullying, I HAVE to get on everyones good side, or else I feel like they might turn on me. I used to try to show different emotions in grade 8, because people told me to get a backbone and stop saying sorry so much. I tried to act angry over something once, and someone called me an inapropriate name, so now I'm stuck being happy for six hours at school all the time, when I feel quite the opposite. The worst part of this problem,, I take all the anger I gain over the school day and release it at home. I get into screaming wars with my mother, and they end when my mother calls me a really bad name that I can't put here, and then tells me if she new having a child would result to this, she wouldn't have had me. I know my mother loves me very much, but she isn't always the best to talk to for help, because she gets angry too easily. Problem #3. I know I have depression. I feel so alone and sad all the time. I feel as though nobody cares about me and nobody would care if I died. I'm going to be honest and say in grade seven, I started to think about killing myself, and tried once, by tying my belt around my neck, but I chickened out at the last second. I told my mom about this, and she started to cry and after that we never talked about it again. For a really long time I didn't have these types of thoughts, but since highschool they came back. I can't tell you how many nights I lay awake thinking about hanging myself. I also always think about how easy it would be to walk to my medicine cabnet and swallow some pills. I try to give hints to my mom when we fight how I feel, because I yell to her that I'll swallow pills when she's not watching. I used to think that she didn't care, but one morning when we were fighting I ut a can of gum in my bag to bring to school and she heard it rattle and asked me what it was and yelled at me to give it to her, but when she saw it was gum she turned away. I have to take special pills for private reasons, and one of the side effects is possible depression. I've taken them for a little less then a year, so I'm starting to think they might have something to do with my feelings. Some people that I try to talk to say I should get professional help, but no way! I'm so sorry that this is such a long post, these are just a few of my feelings I've kept locked away since september, and I have no friends to tell anyone of how I'm feeling. Please help :( |
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I too was bullied in middle school and had trouble making friends. 8th grade was a low point for me as well, since I was also on the verge of ending my life. However, I was never diagnosed with clinical depression, although I still believe I have some symptoms of it. My few friends supported me until that year. They claimed that I was trying too hard to look cool, which I admit I was. I gradually got better, though. I'm still not fully recovered, but I've come a long way these past two years. All I had to do was put myself out there, and that's exactly what you need to do as well. Be assertive if someone pushes you down, but in a nicer way. Instead of shouting expletives, try ignoring them. If they can't get a reaction out of you, then it's merely a waste of time on their part. I'd recommend talking to someone you trust, like a school counselor, your doctor, or any other family member. They can give you a few options on how to improve your personality and your depression. My mother told me this when I told her about my social problems, and I think that this could apply to you as well: It's impossible for every single student at your school to hate you or look down on you. There are plenty of people who are searching for friends as much as you are. There are other students who are in your position as well, no doubt. The main reason why some people don't make friends very easily is because they're not involved in any sort of extracurricular activity. Since you're in high school, there's plenty of things open to you. If sports isn't your thing, try joining a club your interested in. It'll let you meet new people who share the same interests as you. Try not to let what others say bring you down, no matter how upsetting or vulgar they are. If they take their time to put you down, then they shouldn't mean anything to you. Chances are, they do it to others as well. You seem like a nice person on the inside. Appearance shouldn't mean a thing. A good personality is what people should look for. I apologize if this isn't much of a help, but it's late here. PM me if you want to talk more. Remember, you're not alone. |
@ YouMadBro?
I don't usually post here but this is something I can relate to you. Im the same age as you Im in the same grade as you and I have the same problems as you, I also get bullied alot and I know its not easy but you've got to perservere. Like NamelessGuy said you have to talk to somebody, anybody. When Im feeling really bad about myself and I feel like my parents just dont understand I always call my uncle, because I feel he understands me. You also need to think Positive get those horrible toughts out of your head I mean think about are you gonna let those bullies in your school drive you to suicide... Look just think about OK and if need be like Nameless guy I'll be here to talk if you need it. |
@YouMadBro?
I've had such a similar problem when I was your age. I was also very depressed in high school. I felt as if no one liked me, and if I died, nobody would care. At your age, you're susceptible to pretty much everything, especially at school. You can't let those negative attitudes persist or else you'll just keep getting sadder. There's nothing bad about seeking professional help. Any help is help, and if it works, go for it. High school is a phase. One day you'll look back and wonder why all of it was worth so much trouble, but you must persevere and not give up. You also should never consider suicide. I know from experience from having to watch my friends - pills don't work as easily as you want, please don't ever try. I would go into detail but I don't think it's necessary. I know it seems like the best way out sometimes, but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's not worth it. I also had to take pills, initially for my depression, but they just made it worse. Sometimes, all you need is a friend to talk to, something to look forward to in school. I remember whenever I had a hard time in school, I excused myself to go to the counselor and rant. Anyway, if you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me as well. I sincerely hope you get better, I really do. It breaks my heart even more because you remind me so much of what I went through. Trust me when I say: life can and will get better, just don't give up, okay? |
I went through many of the problems you are currently going through. I'm not going to pretend that it will be easy to sort them out, because it isn't, and you will come out scarred. I remember people telling me to chin up and all that crap, and it was more frustrating than helpful; however wonderful their intentions.
Problem #1 I'm sorry to hear about you being bullied. I was bullied on-and-off for many years. The thing is, you solved the problem by changing schools, but psychologically, you haven't quite "defeated" that demon. You can change places as many times as you like, but if you don't get something that serious addressed, it will eat you slowly and painfully. When I was your age, it was one of my worst years. If I could give any good advice to you now, I strongly advise seeing a professional or calling a crisis line of sorts just to vent the frustration. I'm sure those memories come every time you get rejected, or things don't go your way. That only lowers your spirit, and you end up in a vacuum of emotional self-destruction. Problem #2 Again, this is a defence mechanism rather than a genuine personality trait, as you have observed. The thing is, when an always-peachy person suddenly gets mad, it's far more noticeable than the school ***** throwing the 238th fit of the day. People weren't used to you showing anger like that, and perhaps retaliated out of shock. About your mother, my mum is like that too. Some people just don't understand where people like us come from, and only get frustrated with our inadequacies rather than being wholly empathetic. It's good that you understand that your mother still loves you, because I'm sure she said those things in anger rather than substnce. Do you have a different relative more appropriate for these kinds of talks? Perhaps you could speak to the people I suggested in #1. Of course your mother cares. She just doesn't know what to do. She's frightened and anxious. From my understanding, it doesn't sound like she's familar with what you're going through. She loves you, but honestly, has no idea what to do. The onus is completely on you to get better; nobody else. Quote:
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If you posted here, my understanding is that you wanted help. Sorry, but none of us here are qualified with problems like yours. An internet forum can't possibly equal the inmeasurable amount of help a counsellor would be. Please take a chance, and at least try seeing a professional. I'm speaking as a clinical psychology student AND somebody that has received professional help of this kind. If it helped me enough to get my life back on track, of course it can with yours. Please PM me if you need to, I check into PC everyday. |
"I have a voice!"
That quote from The King's Speech sums up this post. So, in a way, that's the tl;dr on the first line. But seriously. IRL and OL, I'm... Well, I'm annoying as all hell. Yeah, I get that. I'm awkward, I screw up, I make stupid jokes, and I talk a lot. I still have a godsdarned right to speak. People can be so vitriolic when they gain nothing by sheer cruelty towards others. Would it kill a man to listen to what someone else is saying? Or, at the very least, to not feel the constant need to beat the speaker into the ground? Because, honestly, it's just ridiculous. Is human nature so dark and so twistedly hateful that sadism has spread so far? Okay, so people have problems. I have problems too, and I vent them out like a human being should. It's healthy to talk when you're upset, and to try to work out your upsetness. It's not healthy to lambast anyone who tries to vent grievanges, while being a general jerk-off in general. I have bad handwriting, I stutter over my words, and I'm hard to understand. I have a friggin' voice, you know? I have thoughts. I have a brain. I'm not demanding that everyone stop and listen to me. I'm demanding that this twisted concept of fate give me the courtesy of a listening ear, when I spend time to listen to the problems of others. I hate my speech problems. I hate them. I hate my awkward appearance and personality. I hate my neck pains that make me look like I have a tic. I hate my eye problems. I hate the fact that I suck at everything athletic. I hate my emotional instability. I hate how thin-skinned I am. I hate how I freeze up whenever someone insults me. I hate how I'm the one that people can pick on without ramifications. I hate how I don't fit in. I hate how I can't cheer myself up, or distract myself. I hate the fact that I swing between moods so much. I hate the fact that I'm so hateful. I hatehatehatehatehatehatehate. I'm not angry in the least. I'm just... despairing. But whatever. Life's life. It sucks, and it sucks harder when you aren't enough of a total something bad to cut down everyone that gets in your way. There are winners, and there are losers. Such is the nature of life. |
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Losers only stay as losers if they resign themselves to the title. Often it's self-appointed, too, which does nothing for one's selfesteem, or "escaping that fate". Winners are winners because more often than not, they put effort into the field they would like to win in. |
Hi. I am college student and at this moment, I live in the dorms inside the University I attend. My best friend goes to the same University as me. Last semester (Fall 2010) I asked him to become my roommate for this semester (Spring 2011). He said no becuase his old roommate asked him before to be his roommate again. I was ok with it. Then during this semester, I found out that his old roommate is leaving this semester so that means that my friend will not have a roommate next semester. I asked him like 4 or 5 times during this semester if he wants to become my roommate. He always tell me that he is not sure because he was applying to become an R.A (Resident Assitant) and that if he doesn't become an R.A then he will try to be a R.A's roommate to not have room checks (since he is a kinda messy guy). Ok, then time passed by, and he got rejected of becomeing R.A. Then, he try to be an R.A's roommate, but all the R.A's already had roommates, so he could not become a R.A's roommate. He now (almost at the end of the semester) is asking me to become his roommate, but I already have 2 roommates for next semester because he rejected me like 4 or 5 times. I really wanted to become my best friend's roommate but I constantly felt bad because he rejected me a lot, and now I don't know if to become his roommate or to stay with the 2 people that already accepted to become my roommates some days ago. What should I do?
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What's the standard social protocol..?
How long do I have to wait from my girlfriends birthday before I can break up with her without out it ruining any future birthday's? We've been dating for 7 months, if that makes a difference?
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Just break up with her now. Think of how much more devastating it will feel if she knew you were only tagging along for the last few weeks because you didn't want to ruin her birthday.
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Any other opinions on the matter? |
I'm not sure what to say,
there are valid points on both sides of the argument. I suggest doing what you feel is right. (a fun fact, my first girlfriend broke up with me just before valentine's day and her birthday. thank god, i still have my money now :P ) |
Really 2-3 weeks as you think said be fine. Maybe even slightly less, but no less that one week imo. Mainly because if you two were very close and you want to end this relationship then she'll be picking up on that and things will get awkward; better end it sooner rather than later, to be honest.
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My idea is that you break up with her ASAP. For the most part, there is no such thing as a good time to break up. I would break up before the 7 months, because my impression is that she will celebrate thinking that nothing is wrong. If you break up with her later, she would realise you were lying and you would put yourself into a mess.
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I don't mind if I get in trouble, as long as I don't wreck anything on HER side... Though I've never had an ex not like me after we end it, and I don't plan on starting now.
Quite the predicament. I thinking breaking up before the 7 months would be a bit mean, though, since it's 3 days after her birthday. Also, I won't actually get to see her until the anniversary. :\ And anything will be in person. |
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If your partner is understanding of you (though I'm assuming a decent reason on your part), as one ought to be, there should be no problem whatever time you break up.
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Alright, my plan is end it sometime before next weekend, then. FANTASTIC! |
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Might as well...
For the last couple of months, I've been feeling pretty down. I've also been pretty lonely. None of my friends make an effort to hang out or anything. I find myself a lot of the time having nothing to do, so I either sit in front of the computer or watch TV. I hate it. Believe me, im not that kid that has no social life or that kid that sits in the corner all the time staring at the wall. I have a social life, it's not great, but I have one. I also have things to do sometimes, so im not bored all of the time. Something happened to me yesterday night. I was in my room when my parents walked in and sat down. They started to ask me a series of questions that I had a hard time answering. They asked me if I were depressed, if I were sad, if I wanted to get counseling, if I were thinking of hurting myself, etc. This came as a surprise to me, because I know that I haven't been myself lately, but I didn't think it was that noticeable or serious. I can't even look at my parents, knowing that they think all of that about me. I feel like nothing will be the same now. I don't know what to do. Should I maybe go for counseling? Or should I wait it out until High School graduation in two months. Honestly, I think that my sadness is coming from High School, not because I get bullied or anything, but because my friends could care less about me. I also have one friend who has noticed that I haven't been myself. I want to tell him what happened to me last night, with my parents, and tell him about how I might be depressed, but I don't want him to think i'm annoying or anything. Should I tell him? I don't want this to mess up our friendship though, but I feel like I should talk to him about it. He's my best friend. So yeah, any feedback? I'd appreciate it. (Sorry if some things are hard to understand) |
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Even if your sadness is coming from high school, I don't think your problems would end when you leave, because you'd still feel lonely without your friends even if you didn't have school to remind you of it all every day. The friend you want to tell - I'd tell him. It won't mess up your friendship, if he's really your friend anyway. And the fact that he has noticed means that he does care about you, which means your problems may not be as bad as you feel they are right now. I've never been in this situation, so I don't pretend to know what you're going through, but whenever someone does have a problem like this the people always advise talking to someone. I know what you mean about your parents, I'd find it hard to look at mine knowing they were thinking that about me, but they just love you and want you to be happy. So, I say try counselling, or even just tell your friend - but talk to someone. It's never good to let these things fester, and it could get worse if you just leave it and hope it goes away. |
Am I Normal?
Hi everyone... I just want to share my predicament. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 5 months now :) Every time we're not together I miss her so much! It hurts being away from her, it sucks :( Is it normal to miss your girlfriend so much? I see her every weekday, just when she leaves all my sanity seems to go with it. :(
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For a 17 year old, yeah, that's completely normal.
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Yeah that sounds about right. =)
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