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Poetry & Songs
Well ... Time to chance posting some of my non-literature work here ... I don't really write as much of poetry as regular literature, so take it as you will. Any opinions will be much appreciated, though. The thread will be updated as I write them after I'm caught up on what I've already written, so it is questionable as to how often new ones will be posted.
Original-Base Poetry Form Missing You How Can I? Soaring Blue Eyes Lost Promise Fox Fire A Spring Tale Horse's Love (Present) Unnamed (Present) Wanderer (Present) Sage of Fire (Present) - Character Perspective (Fanon/Original Both) Dividing Lines Scarlet Stars Freeform Universe [Below] Haiku Kitsune Moon Kitsune Moon (Draft II) PKMN: Light PKMN: Mighty Mouse Fanpoetry Legend of Zelda: Into the Shadows Legend of Zelda: Warrior of Shadows Legend of Zelda: Shroud to Light Yugioh: Envoy to the Moonlight Maiden Elemental Gelade: Katana no Kaze (Sword of Wind) Songs Sparrow's Call Sapphire Skies Selena's Lullaby [CLC Base] Based off of a combination of astrological myths, though the idea randomly appeared. ^_^ Universe Gentle caress of the moonlight, harsh brand of the sunlight. By the star's light, plight of the solar system ignites. People of the sun, people of the moon. War and strife, or peace and light? Stand and fight, or leave from sight? Stars and planets unite, but for what right? To defend the universe, a common enemy born. Rest not, or risk the fate of the torn. |
It read this poem about three times until I understood its meaning.
It is well written, especially for one who has little experience. Flaws? ...Nothing major. Well done! Keep going. |
*Smiles.* Much appreciated, TJgamer. That poem in paticular is about a year old, but I seem to be opening most of my poetry threads with it now. Probably because its my only freeform one. My earliest poetry dates back to 2008 (Missing You through Blue Eyes), before I started writing regularly. You'll probably see a steep change in quality with those.
But I'm glad that you liked this one. There will be plenty more to come. ^_^ |
While the one that this poem was written for isn't on this forum; here it is -
Promise From tides in the dark, Shrouded in fear, Comes a glimmering arc, Someone held dear. Though we are worlds apart, It is naught, For two lone hearts, A love sought. Forming a gentle dream, Rarity of blissful peace, For a perfect team, Something to never cease, But a dream it is no more, Becoming a reality, A time in which we soar, From hope to actuality. We are different but alike, For our souls react as one, Capable of such unusual sight, Hearts forming our own shimmering sun. It is on this night I make a promise, To devote my heart, Only to you, Thomas, In this journey we start. |
This is just classic!
I always enjoy reading such original poetry. It's patterns are a tad uneven, but still acceptable. ...Who is this Thomas? A special friend you know? |
*Smiles.* I was rather nervous about that poem ... It was only the second one I'd written for him. (The first being the one titled "Lost" in the table of contents.)
As for your question ... Yes, he's very special to me. |
I really enjoyed both works, you can feel the emotional passion in both. I unfortunately am unable to write works involving someone close, so I couldn't really connect yo the second as much as I could the first with its more wordly connection.
I look forward yo reading more of your poetry. |
*Smiles.* Thank you for reading them, TWL. Its not often that I manage to write poetry based around the emotions such as "Promise", though (hence the small list in the table of contents). But, there will certainly be plenty more later on. Hopefully, I'll post one a day or so. ^_^
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Promise is beautiful :3 I love the rhyme scheme. Great job! You are very talented.
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*Smiles.* Thank you, Rai. I'm glad that you liked it - Its certainly one of my most personal poems yet.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Ren x Cou Elemental Gelade: Katana no Kaze ~ Sword of Wind ~ Gentle winds dance through the air, Creating tenderness and care. Zephyrs coiling with growing might, Gracing the world with both power and light. So few desire to truly combine, Never looking to your unique shine. You are but a mere power sign, To those who seek a weapon divine. Do others see this emotion? The chance of everlasting devotion? Or just a gleaming sword? Something to rend a painful chord? As plain as it may be, The blessed blade is wielded free. Look past my eyes and you will see, A promise to be fulfilled by you and me. So few truly know, Appreciate your purity of snow. Only seeing you as a tool of destruction, Causing much strife and interruption. Yet one does not have to feel, To form a preserved appeal, This creating a peaceful seal, Still so perfectly real. We are different but alike, Capable of such an unusual sight. For our souls react as one, Hearts forming our own shimmering sun. |
That was very lovely!
I really enjoyed it! Now there are a few stanzas in which the lines aren't even. You know, the syllable count. But the descriptions of everything are just gorgeous. And the rhyming is very well done too. Keep up the good work! |
*Smiles.* Hehe, thanks for another comment. I think that the above poem is definitely one of my best, even if it's not precisely inline. *Huggles.* Will do!
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My first attempt at Haiku, XD. Based off of the Kistune myth, and the minor myths connected to it. Also inspired by Buson's single haiku:
"Was that a fox" "or a prince in disguise" "this hazy spring evening?" I'm not sure if standard grammar for regular poetry applies to haiku, so I used Basho's and Buson's general grammar, XD. Kitsune Moon - Haiku Quartet Moonlight graces a gently lapping sakura blossom cast pond. Lady of change, loyalty and deception. Myth surrounds thee. Nine graceful tails, eyes of amber light, gleam this spring night. Love, fox or princess? Winding trails of fate, mists of the moon. Well, I asked the help of my online Oneesan since she's written more haiku than me, and I'm back with the second draft. ~Edited with help of Kazea Tetsujen~ Kitsune Moon (Draft II) - Haiku Quartet Moonlight graces a gently lapping sakura blossom cast river. Known myth surrounds thee, O wandering shapeshifter Only chasing light. Nine beautiful tails, Gentle eyes of amber light, Gleaming this spring night. Love, fox or princess? Winding the long threads of fate, Within veiling mists. |
This haiku is truly beautiful. I wish I had written it! Great job :3
The only thing that got to me was "sakura blossom cast river." Do you mean a river with blossoms on the surface? If so, I would make it "sakura blossom-cast river." It makes the meaning a little more clear that way. But either way, this poem is stunning~ |
*Smiles.* Sorry about my late reply, Rai. I'm glad that you liked it, although you do make a good point. *Huggles appreciatively.*
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Light Gentle Espeon, granting life of the spring sun in depths of dusk. |
I like this haiku, I get a good visual plus Espeon is one of my favorite Pokemon. The only thing I am really noticing is that I am only coming up with 4 syllables in the last line, I may be miscounting though.
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Hmm ... I'm not sure ... Haiku isn't my strong point because of the syllable count. (Not sure why, but its harder for me to pick out every single syllable in a word.)
But, I understand your point of view. Espeon is one of my favorites too. ^^ |
I love how you can make a poem about pokemon so beautiful! I've never tried writing a poem about pokemon, but I feel it would come out really corny. You can make anything sound beautiful, it's a gift!
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XD, thank you, Rai. I honestly didn't think my haikus were that great (aside from grammar, my literary/poetic weakness, XD). But, I'm glad that you enjoyed this little snippet. *Smiles and huggles.*
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Quote:
העלא These characters brought to you courtesy of Google Translate. And now to you, Mizan. Thank you, alternate personality. Our story tonight, Mizan reviews a haiku and uses a non-standard greeting: Well hi there. This is going to be a really short review for just one of your Haikus because I’m trying to meet a quota before the 28th. Hope you don't mind because yo get a review in the process. So anyway, overall, I enjoyed the visualizations in the haiku, partially because Espeon is one of my favourites, and partially because of how you used the medium, that is to say haiku, in order to evoke a very succinct sense of natural harmony, the cycle of dusk and dawn also accentuating the notion of peace. The poem wasn’t too superfluous and delivered an exact picture of the scene you were trying to convey without delving too deep into specifics, allowing the reader to paint a picture with their own mind rather than have the poet do it for them, as is the convention. That’s the beauty of haikus I suppose… So yes, I quite enjoyed the poem and may also return to do the rest of your poetry if I feel like it. Best of luck. |
Heh, quite the review you managed for such a short poem. Nonetheless (yes, I am surprised you managed it, xD), I certainly appreciate it. ^_^
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Okay ... So after going through a period of inactivity (Yay for real life), here is a little something to hopefully get back into the forum. A poem based from one of original character's perspective, the fandom in Sailor Moon:
Scarlet Stars In a quiet but breathless night, A stain spreads to the sky. Tainting red the star’s light, Another left to die. Crimson makes a flash, Strife leaping abound. With a warrior’s slash, Forcing a harsh rebound. It is but a war, A merciless strike. A future to become nevermore, Digging into my psych. There is no choice, Even if I do not want to fight. Naught to rejoice, Spilling a bloodstained plight. This Katsumi, A foe in the night. One strike through me, At a fell handed knight. Kill if I must, Another life on my hands. Nary to trust, As barren desert sands. A life unwanted, A wish for the past. A future undaunted, For the next breath may be my last. |
I was never a Sailor Moon fan, but this poem was still pretty nice to read.
The rhythm is slightly uneven, but the rhymes really make up for that. I also found the format interesting. Good job! |
Seems like the internet also messed up my posting format (the blanks between each line in the stanzas), but I'm glad that you liked it. The setting was AU, where my own character Sailor Sidus is pretty much alone in a war. *Pats her.*
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Well, what do you know? First time I have a chance to get on here in a while, I actually have a song to post. Mind you, it is just a rough draft ... But it did turn out rather well since I'm only a novice song-writer. ^^ Selena’s Lullaby Mmmnnmmhmm, mmmhmmmnn, Mmmnnmmhmm, mmmhmmmnn. Lay your head down and I’ll sing you a lullaby, Should gentle waves carry you to the sky, May they grant wings to fly. For you to find love and peace For them to never cease, Is my one true wish. Sleep sweet dear one, Sleep soft in this hour done, Quiet may we go. An angel watches over you in the Golden Land, In these meadows of heaven, blessed by one’s hand, Where our Sisters stand. Mmmnnmmhmm, mmmhmmmnn, Mmmnnmmhmm, mmmhmmmnn. I’ll sing you to sleep and I’ll sing you to tomorrow, Back through the years and sorrows, Giving life to borrow. May you find your path, May it be free of wrath, And keep you from harm. May you find a dove, May it be singing of love, To find kindness in all you meet. Fall off to sleep, I’m not meaning to keep you, I’ll just sing for a while, a wish to go through, These deep blue skies. Mmmnnmmhmm, mmmhmmmnn, Mmmnnmmhmm, mmmhmmmnn. |
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