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Feathers and Poetry
I'm not sure what my fascination with feathers is all about, so don't ask.
Anyway, yes, there's a reason I'm posting this right now, and it's the same reason I posted that Breaking the Fourth chapter in the ducking forums. :D As always, most of my works are found on my deviantArt account. But whatever. Less talk more (free) verse. St. Valentine's Ego (Nothing to do with Jax, totally.) Allow myself, as in moi, To present to you, as in vous, A most malevolent machination Truly quite the sensation. A red string of carnations, Life drips from their spines. Fantastic treacle delights, Sweet cavities and more! A worded gift from mouth to ear, Of a poem so sappy, you doth shed a tear. Quite the charmer, I am. Or so you agree. A trip to Paris so we shall go. Then gaze upon the lighted city, where romantics are artists. It’s you and I, girl, we’re in this together. All this for what, you ask? A simple response is thus: If it would please you, Would you be my second half? On this day of capitalist greed? Author's Notes: Idk what I was doing when I wrote this. There's probs no rhyme scheme, probs no meaning, and probs no semblance at trying to have a proper flow. All I know was that I wrote it on Valentine's Day, and I was laughing at all those who celebrated the holiday and gave away their money to those big companies. ---∞--- Capitalism (This one's for you, Eric Arthur Blair a.k.a. George Orwell) I once had feelings. Sold them. Author's Notes: Is this poetry or is this flash fiction? I don't know, nor do I care, but for the moment let's just assume that it's free verse, minimalist poetry regarding my feelings for capitalism. Though... that's not to say I'm Communist. If you're as big a fan of Orwell as I am, you should be able to guess which economic system I'm for. |
That Valentine's Day one was much better than you think. At least I liked it.
True the rhyming and patterns don't seem to make much sense, but it has a very nice concept and flow. I enjoyed how it's read. And Valentine's Day is probably the best holiday ever to write poetry. I speak from experience. Well, glad to see you here with your own thread, and I hope you write more! |
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Overall, a good poem. I like your mentioning of a red string of carnations, and the worded gift from mouth to ear. :3 It's a little too stiff and formal for my taste, but that's just my personal opinion. I'm not one for too many fancy words or shakespearian prose. Now, as for your short 'Capitalism', I lol'd. Not much to say other than that, aside from a clever use of wit. It's too short to comment on. :p Quote:
tl;dr, that's nice if you don't share the holiday sentiment, but don't go labeling the rest of us who spend money on it as sell-outs. Again, not directed at you personally, I've just seen this too many times. Nnnnrgh, this rant turned out to be longer than my review. Sorry about that, I'll try to make up for that next time. :/ |
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Also, a humorous side note: Being a non-Christian, non-Western, I don't actually celebrate any of those holidays. xD |
Update!
Our Chilren (No, not mine!) In the deserted city of our fathers, whose towering spires did wound the sky, whose bountiful rivers now bleed dry dust, whose elegant quarters reminisce of their masters, we awoke a hidden fear. Or rather, we discovered the truths that were hidden, or rather, our assumptions were false, or rather, our arrogance melted away. Lies of a different age, now a tale of despair, resonating through empty streets. And regret became our companion that day. Thus in the deserted city of our fathers, our worst fears were faced. For we found that it was not He who forsook us, but our fathers who made it so. Our fathers who left us a decaying city, crumbling ruins, a life of death. Under a domed sky, we pray for forgiveness, for our fathers who destroyed a gift, for our fathers who we remember not. Author's Notes: This is an environmental poem? Possibly? |
This one leaves me in the shadows. Not a bad thing, but, makes me think a lot.
It's so mysterious that even I have a hard time understanding it. And no, I don't think it's an "environmental" poem. It's hard to see why it would be. Sorry, I really wish I could say more, but, this poem is very puzzling. A real mind bender. Impressive work, though. |
Haha yeah. This came to me out of nowhere, and I wrote it down quickly so I wouldn't lose it.
Basically, the idea in my head is that a group of explorers in the distant future discover the ruins of an ancient city. There, they find out that it was their ancestors which destroyed the earth (via pollution) and not Nature/God as they had originally thought. Hence, domed sky, meaning that they're living in some kind of artifical habitat. It's vague, yeah, but it made sense to me when I wrote it. In retrospect, however, it's not incredibly obvious and it's really up to the interpretation of the reader. |
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