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RMXP - Pokemon Shiny Diamond (improved)
http://i487.photobucket.com/albums/rr240/RavenRescueTeam/sd.png ScreeniesThanks for elaynii to give me the logo.. The legend of Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina is beginning.. Introduction Finally! After four grueling years, you -being either Dawn or Lucas- are going to graduate high school! The excitement is in the air as your mother and all of your new friends achieve most prominent things you've ever done. Well, aside from stopping a deranged man from destroying the world in order to create a new, pure one.. graduating high school is pretty close though! As the principle calls your name, you feel your heart thudding in your chest as your make your way up to the stage. As that simple, yet unimaginably important piece of paper is laid into your hands, you can hear the crowd, along with your friends going wild! The ceremony is over, and now, all of the thrills of high school are as well. Now, all there is to do is go home and find a job. Right then and there, you decide that you are definitely not going to work. There's got to be something else you could do! You could always hand around the house, right? Wrong. Your mother would probably urge you to go out and get a job. As you lay in bed, deciding what to do, you hear a small purr. It was your mother's Glameow. At that moment, you knew what you had to do. Sinnoh wasn't the only region out there, right? There was Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Unova.. There had to be somewhere else! Wait, there is that newly discovered region of Ueno! That is where you will be going to Ueno to become a Pokémon Trainer once more and make some new friends and allies along with some new Pokémon! Story As you enter the new new region of Ueno, you will see many familier faces... Team Plasma, now have a new boss, N, a crazed worshipper, of Giratina, who is determined, to put the world under his feet. As he try's to perfect his new super weapon, the only way, which is to summon Arceus and absorb his powers, he releases an army of mutant Pokemon upon Ueno, to stall the military. Then he sets out to the other regions and starts killing gym leaders. After awhile, he comes back, having been spoken to by Giratina, he is determined to capture you, for you hold the key to Ueno's fate. In the end you will have to choose, will you join Team Plasma, and be a ruler of the world, or will you fight and resist, the choice is yours. Spoiler:
[CENTER]Credits Poccil ~ Pokemon Essentials venom12 ~ Pokemon Essentials DS & OWs Neo-Spriteman ~ New BW Tiles Neo-Spriteman ~ Resized Tiles and Trainer Sprites ~~~~~Pkmn essentials DS credits~~~~~ Luka ~ VS Seq. and mouse model and etc... Cybersam and Astro ~ Mouse model CNG ~ Battle moves select menu Help14 ~ Pokedex Wichu ~ Sprites FL. ~ Eggs Change and Unova Pokemon ~~~~~Help with Neo-Spriteman~~~~~ Dewitty, Kymontian, Calis Project, Bulbapedia.net ~ Help Dewitty, Bulbapedia.Bulbagarden.net, Nintendo, Chocosrawloid, Kymotonian, milomilotic11, and Neo-Spriteman ~ Pokemon BW Trainers ~~~~~Inner Tiles~~~~~ Thurpok ~ Inner tiles Lost to credit Thurpok cuz i lost his name. -----Other----- tebited15 from deviantart ~ Lucas' sprite! (He said no need for credit..) Team Me ~ Everything None ~ Mapper (HIGHEST NEED) 3 places None ~ Scripter (HIGHEST NEED) 3 places Me ~ Spriter (HIGHEST NEED) 2 places Me ~ Beta Tester 0 places Elaynni ~ Introduction and Logo, hope you like them! Flamemaster ~ Story Support Bar: http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/1720/ubd9282.png HTML Code:
Pokemon Shiny Diamond: Playing means fun! Here, visit this link to see new features! http://pokemonshinydiamond.wordpress.com Features Archivements iPhone instead of Pokegear New Region VS sequences BW Tiles A bridge that connects between Ueno and Miho regions ------------ Archivements Name: Poke-Kick HowToGet: Kick a Caterpie at Sunring Town Prize: Potion Name: Gimmie-A-Gift! HowToGet: Get a Ditto from the Mystery gift man at Bigcorn's Pokecenter Prize: Tiny Mushroom Name: xD HowToGet: Answer Vinertion's Man that ask questions all wrong Prize: RageCandyBar and Galactic Key Name: Eevee HowToGet: Get back the Stolen Eevee from Team Plasma Prize: All Eevee evolutions |
the 2nd gen starters for sure!
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Tell me, is my story okay now or still boring?
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Also, you credit them for their tiles, not their help unless they specifically told you how to do things. And use image tags, please |
WTh, your other thread was closed, because of not given the right credits... so you go make another one?
Atleast this time you have the right credits. Although bit a of a improvement... with the tiles.. but mapping and grammar still need a massive improvement... Your mapping style is very weird, try copy the style Nintendo, GAMEFREAK use.. |
At least you gave credits now. Your maps look awkward and too spacious. The houses in games aren't that big. I suggest looking at some mapping tutorials, or hire a new mapper. Capitalization, grammar, and spelling are my main pet peeves. Fix those things and your game looks decent graphic-wise.
As for your story, Code:
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Here is my opinion:
Your plot doesn't sound interesting. I agree with the others by saying your maps are too wide open. I suggest condensing your maps and either A) Add depth to your current plot( You have a starting point but you need to make it interesting) B) Create a new and more interesting Plot or C) Recruit someone else to write a plot for you. The Yagerbomb has been dropped. |
1 Attachment(s)
http://www.pokecommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=60224&stc=1&d=1303714865
The 2nd leader, Drake, a Water Type! |
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Here's the trainer maker i used:
<object width="450" height="386"><param name="movie" value="http://backend.deviantart.com/embed/view.swf" /><param name="flashvars" value="id=75399413&width=1337" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://backend.deviantart.com/embed/view.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="450" flashvars="id=75399413&width=1337" height="386" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/75399413/">Pokemon Trainer Creator</a> by ~<a class="u" href="http://magicalgirlyossy.deviantart.com/">MagicalGirlYossy</a> on <a href="http://www.deviantart.com">deviant</a><a href="http://www.deviantart.com">ART</a> Here's the trainer maker i used: http://www.deviantart.com/download/75399413/Pokemon_Trainer_Creator_by_MagicalGirlYossy.swf |
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So I'm going to make a comment that's going to be wholly ignored, but what do I care. The story is dull, boring and in no way make any sense, whatsoever. PLEASE read these comments and improve, because it seems like you might have some ideas, but you're not presenting them. |
@lx theo
@ProdigyX @xCalierz I updated the story. What do you think guys? Oh my! I forgot the Features! New Region New Attacks Some Fakemon Meet Trainers, Leadera, and Elite 4 from the other 4 regions! And Progress! UENO [||||________] 25% Releasing Beta soon! BETA 1 [||||||||||||||___] 97% Editing things! Download link will be at first post or some posts! |
But still, where was the first adventure?
The story has more plot holes than the movie Devil. |
@xCalierz
The first adventure is at Sunring Town. btw. carmaniac didn't post here! |
Then what happened there?
explain |
You get to Mt. Gold and battle team Galactic and they escape. But that's not the last time, it's the first. And you go to an Adventure and go to the Victory Road and you see them the last time. and then they escape, and battle Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, the grunts, and Cyrus and then you see Mark, your rival. The last time. His sprite at my avatar.
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That's pretty much just splicing different official game stories together.
It still doesn't make much sense. |
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KingSnivy, the only way you're going to improve your game, is by listening to other people's criticism. They're only trying to help you, and you ignore them.
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this whole thread is confusing.
storyline is probably less impressive than the official storylines. and that's saying something. Quote:
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What happended to your post that said you were leaving the PC.. and making your own new pc lol?
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Beat Cyrus until he gives up? Lol, thats actually funny. No, its not any better now. A few more sentences that didn't help at all.
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Look, KingSnivy, you truly need to take the advice of those that offer it. They aren't being rude, per se, they're just giving your some constructive criticism; which is vital for a developing game to become successful. I've taken notice that you support my game, Pokémon: Ironed Heart, which I thank you for. Let me ask you this: how do you think it has gotten this far?
It's simple. I have taken the advice and criticism that the other members of this forum have given me to make it a semi-successful game! Now, let me too give you some advice. Just focus on one thing at a time. I can tell you're getting ahead of yourself by adding in features and exciting yourself. While that's all well and good, you haven't put in much thought on the story. I'll help you all I can. You're eager to make a game, and I like that. First thing is first, I'll try and help you with your story. Send me a private message and we'll see if we can't clean this messy thread of yours up. |
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