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1,000 ways to be kicked out of Walmart
Just post a way to be kicked out of Walmart.
1. Put on a Batman costume, and run around screaming "To the Batmobile!" EDIT: I am Australian, but I put Walmart to suit all you Americans. |
Pick up all the yoghurt you can open it all and poor it all over the nearest employee :P
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3. Get caught shoplifting.
It's a sure-fire way, plus you may even get to meet the police! |
4. Drive a car through the front door. Lol imagine that.
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5. Put on a Police Outfit, and smash down the door (though it would be hard to smash open a automatic door) saying "Police, open up!"
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Rest your balls on the manager's bald head and claim that he must do you bidding or you'll "spill" on him.
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Use the different aisles as "dominos"...
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Flush away Flushed Away toys inside the toilets literally, clogging them in the process.
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9. Play Mario Kart with the shopping carts. Make sure you take advantage of the bananas and turtles in the pet section.
And I'd suggest for everyone to make sure they keep track of what number they are on (accurately), or the "1000" part of the game loses its meaning. |
#10: Get a megaphone and announce to all the shoppers where cheaper prices of their popular products are.
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11. Take everything off the shelves and throw it at people xD
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12. Ride the shopping carts into other people on purpose.
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13.
Open all the cereal boxes and hurl them at the floor in disgust and claim they didn't have the prize you wanted. |
Head to the Lawn+Garden section to get a shovel.
Knock out the manager. |
#15 Demand to speak to their CEO with a confrontational tone and a small media scrum.
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#16
Trip over on purpose and demand they hand over the company. |
#17 Throw potatoes at the service manager
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18. Create an fortress within the toys section.
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20. Name and shame the fatties in the store
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21. Throw meat and fish at everyone. XD
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-Get your book and go into a worker room. When the workers try to throw you out you say "Shhhh!!! I am reading!"
-Open up candy bags and then throw the candy at people. |
24. Find the candy aisle and lure children there, saying you'll give them candy for free if they just help you with one thing.
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25. Reenact the rumble scene from West Side Story
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26. Find a bluetooth stereo, and use your phones bluetooth to start blasting random load music when people walk buy. Preferably Death Metal or Screamo.
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27.
Go to the diet section and start throwing cakes at the people buying. |
28: Steal everything and not letting 1 little peice of a dot!
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Go to the back and yell at them for not hiring you.
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#30- superglue everything you see.
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31.
Steal the polish and start polishing the bald customer's heads. |
(my sister posted this one on her FB wall lol, idk where she got it from)
32. Hide in one of the bathroom stalls and when someone opens the door shout "Welcome to Narnia"!!! |
33. Go to the fitting rooms and try on a ton of womens clothing (if you are male. If you are female, you could do the same with mens clothing, though that's not as uncommon as a man in womens clothing.)
Bonus points if you bring a friend so you can step back out into the store wearing them and ask if they look nice on you :P |
32. Start beating a random employee with a dead fish.
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35.
-release the fishes, and when they ask why, say they were going to drowned!!! -grab a thong or something like that and ask a female(or male O_o) employee if you can watch them put it on -steal all the women's bathroom toilet seats |
#35 or 36, WTF
Play "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton through a large Ghetto blaster. |
37. Swith the fire alert to "ON"
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#38
fake a stroke to get a hot woman to put her hands on you, if it's a ugly woman or a dude, get up and say, never mind im fine |
39--Run into the store with all of your clothes on backwards and inside out, riding a plastic broom, screaming in everyone's face, "THE BRITISH ARE COMING, THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"
40--Eat all of the frozen coconut shrimp, and scream, "I can't help it; I love PEANUT BRITTLE!" in all passerby's faces. 41--Take all of the hair-care products, spill them all over the floor, and slide through the mixture to the end of the isle. When you stop, say bluntly to the nearest employee, "sometimes I do what I want." :3 |
42 - Start a labor union.
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43 -- Put on a puppy costume and follow people around begging with a puppy face for food.
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44?
Go into the store shirtless and yell "GIBBY" |
45. Getting invisible spray (if there is at life) and get all food.
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46.
Go around putting things in other customers trolleys when they aren't looking. |
47. Go around licking all the bottles of hand sanitizer.
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48. Start to rip off pages from the book section.
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49: Dress up like a famous badass swordsman, like Link or Sephiroth. Not only will you have no trouble getting kicked out, but they'll NEVER let you back in. :laugh:
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50--Switch people's babies and kick people's carts out of their hands and into the parking lot. After all of this is done, start singing "We Are the Champions" and smear banana paste in your hair.
51--Stand in a toilet and try to flush yourself down it. When you find that it doesn't work, scream, "Damn you, Ministry!" 52--Scream that the chupacabras is right outside over the loudspeaker. Then pull out a goat's horn you got from who-knows-where and scream, "EVIDENCE!" That'll getcha kill--I-I mean, kicked out of WalMart. |
53. Get a soccer ball, shoot it on a checkout/desk and run around with your shirt over your head.
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54. Get an airsoft gun or BB gun (preferably a bb gun cuz it has no orange tip) and point it at your own head infront of an employee and say "Can you tell me what this does?"
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55: Dress in drag, visit the isle of the opposite genders' clothing and shout your complaints about lack of things in your size(es) loudly at passersby. This is most effective for men.
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^ That's tons of fun actually.
56. Be unaware of the products in Walmart and walk through the hygiene section, notice the love gloves, and suddenly yell about them then run down the isle. This totally didn't happen to me. |
57: Ladies - Wear a cute outfit with the shortest possible skirt you can buy. Make sure your panties are printed with something really girly, walk around the store and take every opportunity to give passersby panty shots as you "shop".
Pretend to always be interested in something on the lowest shelf and bend down to examine it for maximum upskirtage. :P Don't forget to chew out anyone who complains to you about it. Maintain your "Right to be cute" *shot* |
58. If you are a guy, then take lots of viagra and walk into the store wearing the smallest and tightest pair of shorts you have. Pretend not to notice if anyone stares or comments.
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59. Walk in the store with some friends dressed as the Russian Military with pellet guns and say that you are invading Wal-Mart for their low prices.
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60, getting caught spraying youself with all the AXE bottles they have in the deodorant section.
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63. Go into the electronics section, pretend you're a "Corporate Associate" and install Slackware Linux on all the demo computers. Sit back and enjoy the lulz when the computers fail to sell. Be sure to wipe the "Recovery" partitions off the computers so they can't just go back to windows. XD
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64. Stand at the front of the store and hand out Target giftcards
65. Run into the Gardening Section and scream "There's people living back here!" |
66. Randomly shout out on the intercom:
Code Red (store fire) Code Blue (bomb threat) Code Green (hostage situation) Code Black (really freaky weather, like lightning storms every 5 seconds, or fast tornadoes) Code Orange (chemical spill, usually dangerous) Code White (bad accident) And of course, Code ADAM. We all know what that is. |
What's code ADAM? I forgot that one. :\
67. Play cowboys and indians with all the employees. Make sure eveybody is armed with whatever weaopns the store has on hand. HAVE FUN!!! :) |
68.
Run around spoiling whatever movie recently came out on DVD. |
69. Kick the Walmart manager.
70. Burn that place. 71. ????? 72. PROFIT!!! |
73-Hide behind huge pile of merchandies wearing tipical russian outfit, and when someone approach jump out yelling "CAPITALIST!!!!111!!" be sure to put "1"
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LOL @ 73.
74. Get a Goofy hat on, take off your belt, and whip people with it after jumping out, screaming "IT'S GOOFY TIME!" 75. Go on the intercom and say "I KILLED MUFASA!" |
76.Change the Price tags around. Ex.$8.99 to 9.98
77.Go inside the freezers and hand out the stuff inside. 78.Turn on the Water Dispenser with no water jug underneath. 79.Turn off the water Dispenser when someone is using it (By the Plug,of possible) |
80. Impersonating a doctor and giving people fake prognoses, saying they'll day in a moment.
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81. Get a bunch of hookers and get them to shake their rumps dramatically as you rap about "wally wally wally wally world."
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82. Super glue EVERYTHING to the shelves... Ah good times. Good times... Did I mention I'm banned from a multitude of stores?
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83. Fill a cart completely full with random stuff, go to a register that seems to be fairly busy, and leave when you're next in line. Don't take the cart with you.
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84. go to the alarm clock sectoin and ser all the alarms to go off exactly 1 minuet inbetween eachother, do this at reguler intervles
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85.Scream hail Hitler! in the intercom really loud
86.Get a hammer and try it on the nearest employee 87.Scream I've hidden a bomb! in the intercom 88.Get ice cream and throw it at everybody 89.Break everything |
90. Walk into the store in a banana suit and start having a very loud argument with the produce section over an affair that may or may not have happened with a banana's wife, resulting in you curb stomping a banana.
That was a good day... |
91. Go to the most middle of Walmart where people most gather and say some random words then do a very gay ballet dance.
92. Wear your headphones and listen to Linkin Park then headbang like a freak like you'd never before. 93. Go to the computers and open 10 tabs then type to all of those tabs all the Pronz and Hantei sites you know. |
95. Convince small children to race bikes with you around the store
96. Take the giant balls out of the bins (they ALWAYS have giant balls for sale) and start throwing them at people as they pass you, claiming that they are trespassing on your property. |
97. Randomly propose at random fat ladies then show off your abs.
98. Go to the elevator with a police. Then get near his face and evil stare. 99. Find a police and say "Sir, someone having a seizure in the bathroom!" Once your in the bathroom, act like you're having seizure. 100. Use a megaphone and say "Justin Bieber Is Gay" many times 101. Go to the highest floor and shout i'mma suicide!! |
102
Do what my classmate proposed: Scratch the barcodes LOL. xD |
103
Shout COME AT ME BRO to anyone and anything. |
104
Attempt to bring a Reese's out of the store, then throw it at the person who comes up to investigate. |
105. Bring your mate and have sex in one of the aisles. Be as loud and messy as possible.
106. Take a crap in the checkout lane. Be sure to eat something from Taco Bell before you do. 107. Bring a foulmouthed parrot to a children's aisle. 108. Shout "LEEROY JENKINS!!!" at full volume. 109. Go to the electronics section and hang up posters that advertise your favorite site for pirating. |
(I'm sorry, but I just fell out of mai chair reading the one above)
110. Chew gum and stick it on to one of the checkout aisles's conveyor belt, while it is being operated. |
111
Read one of the greeting cards they sell and after reading it yell out, "THIS SUCKS!" Repeat for every single card. |
113 Super glue the phone's used by employees and/or their work station mouse to whatever surface you can (bonus points for upside down phones.)
114 Using a pin/needle, make tiny holes in balloon packets so they cannot be inflated. 115 In the aisle with the haircare products, fill the bottles which are blacked out (eg. tresime) with the food condiment of your choice, (Heinz ketchup is very watery and works quite well.) |
116
Build a pillow fort in the Toy section and use the Transformers toys as guards. |
117
Use all of the strawberries in the produce aisle in an attempt to make the donuts in the bakery as jelly filled donuts. |
118 Streak.
119 Put uncensored rap and have it on blast in the children's section (Bring your own because walmart only sells censored music) 120 Collect at least 50 stray cats, let them free, then release the fish and sit back and watch 121 Break all the freezer doors off 122 (The walmart i go to has fresh live lobsters) Grab all the lobsters, cut off the restraints, and put them in the toy section |
#123
Use the store's eggs to egg the manager's office. |
124:
Take bags of Ice and put it in the pharmacy, on top of open bottles of tylenol. |
125. find a girl and have.......in the clothing racks
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126. take a bag of adult magazines and pass them out to kids
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127 put on adult movies in the electronics department
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128
Surf on the conveyor belts at the registers. |
129- Open up all the cerial boxes and start stuffing them in the casheir's mouth.
130- Put your hands in the air and start screaming: "I can fly, watch me soar through the air" 131- Carry a bunch of shampoo bottles and empty them in your hair, then pretend to be walking out, hahaha, that'd really get them. |
132: Walk in wearing nothing and claim that they kicked you out before for being a nudist.
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133. Put on a lion costume, hide in the clothes racks, and when someone walks by jump out and say "Welcome to Narnia!"
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Quote:
134. Go into the girls' restroom when you're a guy, and the guys' restroom for girls. 135. Gorge on the candy in front of the register, just pig out. 136. Camp out in one of the display tents. 137. Play Hide & Seek, and wreck the place trying to find the players. |
138. Cut the top off of a small pineapple and toss it into a crowd, screaming "Fire in the hole!"
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139
Cover yourself in flour and haunt the toys section. |
140. Walk into the fitting room, sit down for 5 minutes, then scream "Where's the damn toilet paper?!" Then angrily storm out.
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Describe, in depth, the names that you've given to your body parts and how it helps their function to a member of staff.
141 |
142. Get a toy gun out of the toy department and hold up a cashier with it.
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Correction/expansion to 142: Hold up ANYONE with it. ._.
143. No matter what age you are, go up to every woman you see (within reason, such as 16 or older, and do note that this includes staff, too), and pull out all the pick-up lines you see on T-shirts, like, "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?" |
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