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-   -   The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club] (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=252766)

Shining Raichu May 22nd, 2011 5:52 AM

The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]
 
http://i.imgur.com/ZYmaa.png
Updated March 2012


What is The Rainbow Connection?



The Rainbow Connection is essentially The PokeCommunity’s version of a Gay/Straight Alliance. It is a place for people who are gay, bisexual, transgender or whatever else you may be to come and share your stories, get advice, and discuss everything from developments in the fight for equality to what it means to live day-to-day in our shoes. Supporters of the LGBT community are more than welcome (in fact, encouraged!) to come and join in the conversation – so really, it’s a club for everybody except bigots!


Rules and Guidelines



We’re a pretty well established community now, so we know that it’s a fairly lax place to post and we know by now what’s OK and what’s not. But for the new people, lets take it from the top:

  • Follow all forum rules. Failure to do so will result in you being dealt with accordingly by a member of staff.
  • You do not have to be a supporter or member of the LGBT community to join, but you must still be respectful. No bigotry will be tolerated.
  • If somebody asks a question, answer it seriously. If somebody has a real issue, the last thing they need is to be trolled.
  • If you have any questions or problems concerning this club, PM me. I’m very good with getting back to people quickly.


Key Terms



We use a lot of words here that you might only understand if you've paid much previous attention to the LGBT community. Here's a handy list of some of those words in case you get stuck, provided to us by Scarf.

Heterosexual
A person who is sexually and romantically attracted to a person of the opposite sex.

Homosexual
A person who is sexually and romantically attracted to a person of the same sex.

Bisexual
A person who is sexually and romantically attracted to persons of the same and opposite sex.

Demisexual
A person who is only sexually attracted to someone with whom they share a deep emotional connection.

Pansexual
A person who is sexually and romantically attracted to any human being, regardless of orientation, gender identity, or sex.

Asexual
A person who does not feel sexual attraction to any gender or sex. An asexual person can still have romantic attraction to other people, just not sexual attraction.

Heteroromantic
A person who is romantically attracted to a person of the opposite sex, but not sexually attracted.

Homoromantic
A person who is romantically attracted to a person of the same sex, but not sexually attracted.

Biromantic
A person who is romantically attracted to persons of the same and opposite sex, but not sexually attracted.

Demiromantic
A person who is romantically attracted to someone with whom they share a deep emotional connection, but not sexually attracted.

Panromantic
A person who is romantically attracted to any human being, regardless of orientation, gender identity, or sex, but not sexually attracted.

Aromantic
A person who does not feel romantic attraction to any gender or sex. An aromantic person can still have physical attraction to other people and desire platonic relationships.

Transgender
An umbrella term for several types of gender identities.

Transsexual
A person whose gender is inconsistent with their biological sex. They may or may not have undergone sexual reassignment surgery.

Cisgender
A person whose physical body matches their gender.

Genderqueer
A person who does not feel they fit into either a female or male gender.

Gender fluid
A person who moves between genders

Intersex(ed)
Having elements of both genders. For instance, a person who has XY-chromosomes and develops female secondary sexual characteristics or a person who has ambiguous genitalia.

Gender dysphoria / Gender identity disorder
Feeling uncomfortable with the gender or sex one is assigned at birth.





A
Aeon
Airbourne Bubblun
Akio123
Alakazam17
alehizzle
Alessi_sys
Alexial357
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Alternative
Altix
an illegible mess.
appletechGodjuice
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B
Barrels
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BlahISuck
blaziken25
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C
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D
dango989
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dream's-epilogue
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droomph

E
Eeveon
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F
Fallentheangel
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G
Game Over1375
GFA
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GreatTornado
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H
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I
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Impo
Ineffable~
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J
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K
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コナンくん

L
Lady Gaga
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M
Magdalena~
magma_wolf
METHOD_REPLEKIA/.
Merak
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Mew~
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Moogles

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Nakuzami
Nurse Barbra

O
ohHeyVaporeon.
Oshy

P
Pachy
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Physco
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QT
QueenMadz
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R
Radio Rebel
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roen52
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Rossay

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Sap Sipper
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Scarf
SchwarzRozen
Shiarra
solarowl
Somniac
[Snivy Baroque]
Snivy063
Snow Phoenix
Space Cowboy
Starstruck★
Sydian
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シーツー

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-ty-
Tailsko
Team Fail
tehGDS
ThatWhiteKid
TheWeirdBadger
Timbjerr
TomSucka
Torchick08
ToriSora
TornZero
Toujours
tropios
trotz59
TwiDragon
Twihiki_Amias
Twilight Sky
twistedpuppy

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U_Flame
umbryan
Unknown#
Usagi-Chan~

V
Vato
VentusSkies
Victini
Virgilin
vizarod
voltianqueen
Vrai

W
wcdaily
World King

Xadvid

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YungKnowledge




Steven May 24th, 2011 2:05 PM

Gay headlines (May 24th, 2011)

Hybrid Trainer May 24th, 2011 3:12 PM

Totally joining
The one in social groups was so interesting and popular i'm sure this'll explode with members :D

Ok wait, what the hell? raising a genderless baby?
Isn't being a transgender like being gay where your born like that? how will this benefit the child in anyway apart from make him less sexist?
also so annoying that transgender isn't in the default dictionary on chrome -.-

Alakazam17 May 24th, 2011 3:34 PM

Sign me up as well. I was a member of the Social Group, and I thought it was a good experience. Twas sad to see it erased, but I'm glad to see it back here in another form. ^_^

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hybrid Trainer
Isn't being a transgender like being gay where your born like that?

No, I'd say it's not, using myself as an example. I am transgender, but I am not gay. I'm not interested in malexmale or femalexfemale, just malexfemale.

I don't know how I feel about that story. On one hand, it does kind of appear like an experiment, but it doesn't seem any worse than the alternative of assigning a sex to a child who knows nothing about what that'll mean further down the road.

NurseBarbra May 24th, 2011 3:38 PM

Yup, Joining, totally joining.
http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/kathymenaregay.gif
.....Emm....Is this true? I hope so....Just saying~

Also,I've been listening to Gaga and for some reason I keep saying "Born this Gay" instead of "Born this Way".... Still works~

Steven May 24th, 2011 3:41 PM

More News
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hybrid Trainer (Post 6658288)
Totally joining
The one in social groups was so interesting and popular i'm sure this'll explode with members :D

Ok wait, what the hell? raising a genderless baby?
Isn't being a transgender like being gay where your born like that? how will this benefit the child in anyway apart from make him less sexist?
also so annoying that transgender isn't in the default dictionary on chrome -.-

Welcome!

All gay people are born like that, excluding the bisexual people who chose to live exclusively heterosexual or homosexual lifestyles.

Transgender is when your biological unimportant sex doesn't match your mental actual sex.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6658298)
Yeah, sign me up too, it sounds like it's going to be an interesting ride. Lets get our LGBTQIAA on!

I'm absolutely disgusted with Tennessee right now, but I have to say I doubt that legislature will be there for long. Gaga will be on the case before you know it...

Welcome! <3

Tennessee, seeing as it's..well..Tennessee, I don't care. xD
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alakazam17 (Post 6658327)
Sign me up as well. I was a member of the Social Group, and I thought it was a good experience. Twas sad to see it erased, but I'm glad to see it back here in another form. ^_^

No, I'd say it's not, using myself as an example. I am transgender, but I am not gay. I'm not interested in malexmale or femalexfemale, just malexfemale.

I don't know how I feel about that story. On one hand, it does kind of appear like an experiment, but it doesn't seem any worse than the alternative of assigning a sex to a child who knows nothing about what that'll mean further down the road.

Welcome! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6658333)
Yup, Joining, totally joining.
http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/kathymenaregay.gif
.....Emm....Is this true? I hope so....Just saying~

Also,I've been listening to Gaga and for some reason I keep saying "Born this Gay" instead of "Born this Way".... Still works~

That'd be a nice surprise. xD (I love Kathy Griffin)

I was Born this Gay. <3

FreakyLocz14 May 24th, 2011 3:45 PM

Can I join? I was a GSA Senator at my community college.

Steven May 24th, 2011 3:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6658347)
Can I join? I was a GSA Senator at my community college.

Welcome Freaky! :D

Ooh! What was it like?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Team Fail (Post 6658349)
OMG That Afghanistan one was too good.

I'm joining this group. Definately. I wanted to join the last one, but I wasn't compelled to. I'm only joining now, not because I want to, but because I have friends that are gay, and that I don't see why they are so looked down upon. After all, they are just people, like you and I.

Haha, welcome to the group Nyan Cat. o3o

Alakazam17 May 24th, 2011 3:52 PM

I think the question of activity has been answered already. :P

I just read that article on Afghanistan, and I thought it was awesome. It's funny how our symbols often tend to get lost and/or twisted in translation, eh?

NurseBarbra May 24th, 2011 3:55 PM

I think I just laughed my lung up.... Ow...
Back onto topic, Just found this (Nsfw-ish):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPvVnrV1tow

Shining Raichu May 24th, 2011 4:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6658333)
Yup, Joining, totally joining.
http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/kathymenaregay.gif
.....Emm....Is this true? I hope so....Just saying~

Also,I've been listening to Gaga and for some reason I keep saying "Born this Gay" instead of "Born this Way".... Still works~

I LOVE KATHY GRIFFIN! When she comes on the TV I become a squealing fanboy. And yes, she is correct. Though I believe the statistic is actually 94.2%.

NurseBarbra May 24th, 2011 4:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6658391)
I LOVE KATHY GRIFFIN! When she comes on the TV I become a squealing fanboy. And yes, she is correct. Though I believe the statistic is actually 94.2%.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6658391)
94.2%.
94.2%.
94.2%.
94.2%.
94.2%.

.... WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE

GFA May 24th, 2011 4:16 PM

Because it's a complete, blatant lie created to empower those who aren't hetero-normative.

Steven May 24th, 2011 4:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6658370)
I think I just laughed my lung up.... Ow...
Back onto topic, Just found this (Nsfw-ish):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPvVnrV1tow

I love him <3
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6658391)
I LOVE KATHY GRIFFIN! When she comes on the TV I become a squealing fanboy. And yes, she is correct. Though I believe the statistic is actually 94.2%.

Speaking of Kathy Griffin, my second favorite gay-idol next to Lady Gaga and my favorite comedian, I am so mad she canceled My Life on the D-List. :(
Quote:

Originally Posted by GFA (Post 6658420)
Because it's a complete, blatant lie created to empower those who aren't hetero-normative.

>:3

Shining Raichu May 24th, 2011 4:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6658401)
.... WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE

Haha it's not true, relax, you weren't left out of a big secret or anything :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by GFA (Post 6658420)
Because it's a complete, blatant lie created to empower those who aren't hetero-normative.

No, it's a joke which someone took a little too seriously :P


Quote:

Originally Posted by Landorus (Post 6658436)
Speaking of Kathy Griffin, my second favorite gay-idol next to Lady Gaga and my favorite comedian, I am so mad she canceled My Life on the D-List. :(

I was devastated, it took me a while to forgive her for that one. She's my favourite gay icon, even above Lady Gaga, and I can't accept that I'll have to live my life without a yearly fix of D-List antics :( - my new dream is for a show called "Kathy Lately". Think about how awesome that would be - it can air straight after Chelsea Lately lol

Alternative May 24th, 2011 5:43 PM

I would like to join this club under the ally precident please. I'm not any of those things which make up the club, but I do support gay rights and whatnot. You can thank Lady Gaga for that. <3

Merzbau May 25th, 2011 1:09 AM

I think Lady Gaga's a cissexist, arrogant, white lady who thinks she speaks for everybody gay and otherwise, but hey. I can be a radical and ruin all your fun some other time if I want to.

As for me?

Androgynous, bigender, pansexual, queer, gay, trans*, genderqueer, unicorn, repeat. In any order.

I can be whatever I want to be, you got that, lovebirds? I'll be the Queen of Faeries if I want to be. As if I wasn't already that already.

Hybrid Trainer May 25th, 2011 2:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alakazam17 (Post 6658327)
No, I'd say it's not, using myself as an example. I am transgender, but I am not gay. I'm not interested in malexmale or femalexfemale, just malexfemale.

I know that transgender doesn't mean that the person is gay/lesbian (thank waterloo road for that xD) I meant isn't it something your born with and not something you just pick up somewhere along the line.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merzbau (Post 6659136)
I think Lady Gaga's a cissexist, arrogant, white lady who thinks she speaks for everybody gay and otherwise, but hey. I can be a radical and ruin all your fun some other time if I want to.

Well all lady gaga is doing is standing up for what she believes is right, it's the fact that she's a celebrity that makes everything she does epically huge and important.

EDIT: OMG how did i miss that last time, GAY STUDIES! :D At first i laughed thinking it would be easy, but now that i think about it. It would actually be pretty difficult to teach, with laws being passed all over the place things are always changing.
But nevertheless i would still totally take that class x]

Shining Raichu May 25th, 2011 2:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alternative (Post 6658605)
I would like to join this club under the ally precident please. I'm not any of those things which make up the club, but I do support gay rights and whatnot. You can thank Lady Gaga for that. <3

*is a co-owner* Welcome aboard, Alternative! We owe Miss Gaga so much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merzbau (Post 6659136)
I think Lady Gaga's a cissexist, arrogant, white lady who thinks she speaks for everybody gay and otherwise, but hey. I can be a radical and ruin all your fun some other time if I want to.

As for me?

Androgynous, bigender, pansexual, queer, gay, trans*, genderqueer, unicorn, repeat. In any order.

I can be whatever I want to be, you got that, lovebirds? I'll be the Queen of Faeries if I want to be. As if I wasn't already that already.

I'm not sure what to do with this post, but if it means you're joining us also, then welcome! And you don't have to like Lady Gaga, it's just something most of us share :)

twistedpuppy May 25th, 2011 9:38 AM

May I join please? I fall into the gay catergoy.

The Afghanistan story was quite interesting. Maybe they shouldn't have spread the truth about the flags meaning. Who knows what could have happened if they continued hang the pride flag all around. There could've been a disco revival in that country. XD

Steven May 25th, 2011 12:23 PM

Gay News for May 25th 2011
Quote:

Originally Posted by Merzbau (Post 6659136)
I think Lady Gaga's a cissexist, arrogant, white lady who thinks she speaks for everybody gay and otherwise, but hey. I can be a radical and ruin all your fun some other time if I want to.

Don't post anything that is insulting to a group of people, it kind of defeats the entire purpose of this club.

And, for the record, I am not talking about your Lady Gaga hating, I am talking about how you list a bunch of qualities you believe she has, then say she's white. Whether or not you meant anything by it isn't the point, it's how other people conceive what you said. When you list a group of bad characteristics, then in the same sentence directly afterwards you say that they're white, it gives the vibe that that's something you don't like.

What if I said, "I think Oprah is a cissexist, arrogant, black lady.." Kind of gives the vibe of me not liking her because of her race.

Racism is a two-way street, just like any other form of hatred. It's also not a very bright idea to openly say some very hurtful things about someone other people in the club care so much about. You're entitled to your opinion, but it will cause a flame war, and no me gusta.

Welcome.
Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedpuppy (Post 6659580)
May I join please? I fall into the gay catergoy.

The Afghanistan story was quite interesting. Maybe they shouldn't have spread the truth about the flags meaning. Who knows what could have happened if they continued hang the pride flag all around. There could've been a disco revival in that country. XD

Welcome pup! :D

Taemin May 25th, 2011 2:04 PM

I was wondering when something like this would be made, after the social groups died. D:
I'd like to join.

Maybe I'll be active in something besides the one or two clubs I'm in. =w=

Charizard★ May 25th, 2011 2:23 PM

I'd like to join as well! Let's see if I can be active in this club. :3

Shining Raichu May 25th, 2011 2:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drew (Post 6659940)
I was wondering when something like this would be made, after the social groups died. D:
I'd like to join.

Maybe I'll be active in something besides the one or two clubs I'm in. =w=

Hey Drew, welcome! People have told me about the LGBT social group, but it was before my time and that sucks because I really wanted to read it as part of my PokeCommunity history research :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charizard★ (Post 6659964)
I'd like to join as well! Let's see if I can be active in this club. :3

Hey there Charizard! I think this'll be an easier group to be active in, there's only so much you can say about something you're a fan of, but this is far more broad :) Welcome!

solarowl May 25th, 2011 4:55 PM

I'm not Gay, but I am a Supporter of being one, so I guess it's only natural I join. XD
YES THATS RIGHT ANOTHER ALLY. DEAL WITH IT.

Hopefully I can remember to be active enough. ^^;

Ctrl.Alt.Geak May 25th, 2011 5:40 PM

You can sign me up, I'll try my best to be active.

Steven May 25th, 2011 5:45 PM

Welcome to Drew, Charizard, solarowl, and Ctrl.Alt.Geek!

Here is a nice news story where Franken (Minnesota senator) speaks out against the proposed anti-gay marriage amendment

Alternative May 25th, 2011 5:48 PM

I hope we do get more people being active, as this is a serious issue, and people really support it. I don't even know why people are against homosexual, bi-curious or anything of the like for that matter. They're still people, and they may have the same interests as you, and you could become good friends without one or another falling in love or anything.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

Steven May 25th, 2011 5:49 PM

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

I simply just don't want people to go through what I had to go through. That is all~

Merzbau May 25th, 2011 6:56 PM


If you didn't comprehend my last message, this is my official request and intent to join this group and offer my support. Now, for the big question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alternative (Post 6660304)
What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

When I was about fourteen years old, I learned that my best friend was gay. At the time, I was a very religious kid, and very heavily homophobic. Learning this was a huge shock to me, and I had to choose between the two. I chose my friend, and left my absurd religion behind.

Later on, in my first year of university, something really bad happened. One of my friends still in high school, after a long period of abuse, harassment and beatings at school, shot himself. He was gay and physically disabled. I was hurt, depressed, scared, confused, and I had no clue how to deal with this news. I had experienced death, but never of a friend, and never of anyone younger than me. It took a year of crying, failed counseling, and talking with my partner at the time, to get through it.

On the heels of this terribly painful event, I got to tell my friend's story at an anti-bullying rally a year later, and once again at an open mic event put on at my school. But something I am more proud of happened soon after - ten days after the death of my friend, I marched. I marched in the National Equality March in Washington, D.C. and ended up on the Capitol lawn. In my mind, I marched in his stead.

Today, I am an executive board member of my campus' LGBTQ group, and the chair of the committee on gender education. I've still got a lot I'd like to do, but the future looks promising for my campus, our population, and my new family.

twistedpuppy May 25th, 2011 7:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alternative (Post 6660304)
I hope we do get more people being active, as this is a serious issue, and people really support it. I don't even know why people are against homosexual, bi-curious or anything of the like for that matter. They're still people, and they may have the same interests as you, and you could become good friends without one or another falling in love or anything.

It's homophobia. I don't understand it either & part of the problem is they don't want to make the effort & educate themselves. We have to keep proving to them that homosexuality, bisexuality, transgendered people & so on, are not bad people.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

I'm gay. I think that answers both questions. :P

Sydian May 25th, 2011 7:31 PM

I enjoyed (lurking) the GSA social group, so I think I'll just hop in on this one as well. I hope I can stay active, haha. Haven't joined an actual club since...2008, probably.

Also, Merzbau, your story is inspiring.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

I too was very religious, however, I wasn't shoving my Bible in peoples' faces and telling them that they were wrong for being gay or any of that. I've always felt that all people should be treated fairly, no matter what. So I guess in that regard, I've abandoned my religion...or something to that extent, lmao. But my best friend during high school was that Bible face-shoving person, mainly during 10th grade. She started a lot of drama, and I couldn't take that. It was seriously embarrassing. I set out to be different than her, and show that not all Christians hate gays. It wasn't til really this year that I figured out my stance on the whole deal, which is that I support gay rights (if you haven't gathered that).

Oddly enough, when I realized that I could love someone over the internet, I realized that someone's sex shouldn't have to be a factor either. I know that's a weird way to finally realize something, but that's how I gathered it together, haha. Because you don't choose to have feelings for someone, whether they're here, online, the same sex as you, a different race/nationality, or any of that. That's probably the thing. As for an inspiration...I don't know if I have one. I love Lady Gaga, but I wouldn't really call her my inspiration as far as gay rights go.

tl;dr HI GUYS. :)

Timbjerr May 25th, 2011 7:33 PM

Skimming through the thread, I think I'm the first asexual representative. :D

As for the topic of the day:
What got me into gay rights? My Catholic upbringing ironically enough. The biggest value my parents instilled in me is based on one of Jesus' Commandmants: "Love your lord my Father and love one another as I have loved you. These are the greatest commandments."
Humanity is vastly diverse and we have to share this planet together, so we might as well understand and accept our differences peacefully. XD

In closing, here's something that one of my cousins linked to on Facebook and I thought it would be appropriate here. :D

Taemin May 25th, 2011 9:10 PM

Good to see this place gaining such activity. Yay. :D


This might get lengthy! I apologize in advance. orz

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
A lot of people in my life have either been supporting of, or a member of the LGBT community. It started off with finding out that a few friends of mine were gay, back when they had first figured it out, and I never even blinked an eye at it. Let alone thought about being against it. That never crossed my mind, so I guess I was a supporter of the LGBT community before I knew it as being such. xD;

Also, from a real young age my mom taught me that people love who they love, and to not judge them on it. She pretty much just shrugged it off as being okay, and so I did the same. As I got older I was able to judge for myself, but it ended up being no different. My grandpa was against the gay / transgender community, but I'd never paid him much mind in that respect. n n;

Oh, and I've had gender issues of my own for my entire life. I'm physically female, but I've always identified more as a guy. I don't dress girly, or act super girly, etc. There's some there, but y'know. It was only really recently that something clicked, and I sorta just became okay with who I was as a person, no matter what my physical gender was. I am who I am, and I don't care that I'm not a guy, I also don't care that I'm just boyish girl. -shrug- I couldn't have said that a couple of months ago, but I'm not complaining.

I still consider myself a part of the LGBT community though, as I'd still call myself transgender in a way. Even if I weren't, I'd still prefer dating girls to dating guys. So hurray.

Shining Raichu May 25th, 2011 9:56 PM

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

There was an out gay guy in my early high school years who was bullied a lot by the 'jock' stereotypes. He wasn't bashed or anything (to my knowledge) but I distinctly remember them chasing him around with a stick, poking him in the behind, chanting "He loves it, he loves it!" I was physically no match for them, so there was no way I could help him, but I remembered thinking "That's... not right." One time, after they'd finally left him alone, I went over and asked if he was OK, and we've been friends ever since. I just remembered seeing those disgusting excuses for human beings and NEVER wanting to be like them.

Before that, which is what possibly influenced my reactions above, was Will & Grace. It's just a sitcom, but people underestimate how powerful it was in de-stigmatising everything about the gay community. Growing up with it since I was 8 years old really made me believe there was nothing strange or even uncommon about being gay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timbjerr (Post 6660417)
In closing, here's something that one of my cousins linked to on Facebook and I thought it would be appropriate here. :D

That was absolutely beautiful. I was surprised when that man high-fived the waitress for throwing the gay men out though, but on reflection I don't know why I was surprised. Overall though, that was such an amazing video. Welcome, Timbjerr!


Finally, Sydian and Merzbau, your stories are incredible and inspiring. You're amazing people, welcome :)

FreakyLocz14 May 25th, 2011 11:51 PM

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

It just came to me naturally as a part of my political philosophy. I'm a conservative. When I say that; I mean a real conservative. I believe in a small, limited government that doesn't infringe on the civil liberty of the people. Liberty is the right to be left alone by the government. That includes keeping government regulation out of people's private lives.

The religious right and the Tea Party always use small government and less regulation as talking points; yet, they don't adhere to them. They want to use proactive government interference in order to regulate the private relationships of consenting adults. That expands the size, scope, and power of government.

That, my friends, is what we call a RINO.

Sydian May 25th, 2011 11:53 PM

I love that video, Tommy. I've always been one to stand up for people. I'm actually a very shy person and won't stand up for myself, but I can't stand seeing other people get picked on and I have a mean temper. So yeah, I've stood up for a lot of people, no matter what the cause. I don't think it would have been any different in this situation either, for me anyway. I would have said something, even in my little conservative area of Alabama. Which, with that in mind, like I said in my first post, I sought out to prove not all Christians hate gays. I don't mean to get all religious here, but I've grown up in church all my life, and if there's one thing I can say I've learned and stuck with is that I shouldn't judge people, and neither should anyone else. My dad taught me that everyone is different in many different ways, and that's okay. Doesn't make them a bad person.

I am pretty shocked that no one did anything in New York though! But then again...southern hospitality? XD; idk. I wish this would happen in Alabama!

/mushy rant lol

Quote:

Finally, Sydian and Merzbau, your stories are incredible and inspiring. You're amazing people, welcome
Bawww, my story is anything but inspiring really. ^^; Thanks though. That's awful what they did to that boy in your school btw. :<

Vrai May 26th, 2011 2:56 AM

I'm not gay or any of the above, but I'd like to join and throw in my support. :)

...not that I'll post much. XD;

Shining Raichu May 26th, 2011 3:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydian (Post 6660650)

Bawww, my story is anything but inspiring really. ^^; Thanks though. That's awful what they did to that boy in your school btw. :<

Well I beg to differ, you saw something bad and strived to be something else :) And yeah it is, it's really awful, but hey - high school's over now, he's a lot happier. And he got off easy compared to a lot of gay high schoolers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vrai (Post 6660753)
I'm not gay or any of the above, but I'd like to join and throw in my support. :)

...not that I'll post much. XD;

That's cool, thanks for joining anyway :D You can never have too much support.

Hybrid Trainer May 26th, 2011 3:33 AM

Stupid time zones ¬.¬ why am i always asleep when this club gets replies...

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
Well my parent's had this mutual friend who was always over who was openly gay so i was brought up knowing that being gay was nothing wrong and shouldn't be hated.
But then i went to school and around 8/9 ish i learnt how people were so homophobic stupid catholic schools teaching kids bullcrap, and me being a total hipster cat http://webservice.imagesauce.net/image/479348/80x80.jpg went the oposite way and preached about how being gay was the same as being straight, the only difference is that the person falls in love with someone of the same gender.
And then i hit 10/11 and i realised i was gay so it would've been pretty weird if i was a homophobe whilst still checking guys out xD

also the omastar in my signature is now linking to this club because he looks fab-u-lous

Charizard★ May 26th, 2011 5:16 AM

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

My cousin and my friend. They both told me how they were bi and that they were scared of coming out of the closet due to family and peers. I decided that whenever they do decide to come out, I'll be there supporting them and protecting them from any negative things that people had to say to them. I mean, everyone deserves to love who they want, and marry who they want, they shouldn't be judges just because they're bisexual girls.

Timbjerr May 26th, 2011 8:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydian (Post 6660650)
I love that video, Tommy. I've always been one to stand up for people. I'm actually a very shy person and won't stand up for myself, but I can't stand seeing other people get picked on and I have a mean temper. So yeah, I've stood up for a lot of people, no matter what the cause. I don't think it would have been any different in this situation either, for me anyway. I would have said something, even in my little conservative area of Alabama. Which, with that in mind, like I said in my first post, I sought out to prove not all Christians hate gays. I don't mean to get all religious here, but I've grown up in church all my life, and if there's one thing I can say I've learned and stuck with is that I shouldn't judge people, and neither should anyone else. My dad taught me that everyone is different in many different ways, and that's okay. Doesn't make them a bad person.

I am pretty shocked that no one did anything in New York though! But then again...southern hospitality? XD; idk. I wish this would happen in Alabama!

Surprisingly, I've lived in Texas all my life and I can probably recall one, maybe two times where openly gay friends of mine were bullied or harassed because of it. Granted, I do live in a large metropolitan area that is considerably more liberal than the rural areas like where that hidden camera scenario took place.

Like you, I also like to set out to prove that religious people aren't entirely bigoted. The actions of the more infamous branch of Conservative Christians directly contradict Jesus' teachings after all.

Taemin May 27th, 2011 1:43 PM

It's cool that some of you went against the grain of what so many others believed, as far as religion and homophobia is concerned. I can't relate to that.. because my grandpa and myself went to church when I was very small, but other than that, I wasn't around friends or family that were very against homosexuality. So when I figured out that I fell into the LBGT community myself (in two different ways, apparently! orz), I really didn't have any one around me to give me a super hard time about it.

Except that I did lose two friends, both of whom I was real close with, and both were highly Christian. For both of them, it wasn't so much their own choice to break out friendship as it was their entire family telling them that they had to break contact with me. They were scared, because we were teenagers at the time, and of course they didn't want their family disowning them at that age, etc. I can't blame them. xD; It just bites that their religion controlled that choice for them.

Because there are people here who don't let religion influence their beliefs on the LGBT community, and it's a shame the rest of the world can't think the same way, religious or not.

Sydian May 27th, 2011 4:39 PM

Quote:

It's cool that some of you went against the grain of what so many others believed, as far as religion and homophobia is concerned. I can't relate to that.. because my grandpa and myself went to church when I was very small, but other than that, I wasn't around friends or family that were very against homosexuality. So when I figured out that I fell into the LBGT community myself (in two different ways, apparently! orz), I really didn't have any one around me to give me a super hard time about it.

Except that I did lose two friends, both of whom I was real close with, and both were highly Christian. For both of them, it wasn't so much their own choice to break out friendship as it was their entire family telling them that they had to break contact with me. They were scared, because we were teenagers at the time, and of course they didn't want their family disowning them at that age, etc. I can't blame them. xD; It just bites that their religion controlled that choice for them.

Because there are people here who don't let religion influence their beliefs on the LGBT community, and it's a shame the rest of the world can't think the same way, religious or not.
It really is. :[ I remember when my group at church would talk about it sometimes (we got off topic a lot!) and it was just so awkward being the only one there that was in disagreement with nearly everything that was said. I just felt so uncomfortable. And not like I'm perfect or anything, but I mean, at least I didn't act like it at church. People there would be completely different people outside church and I'm just like ._.; the whole time. Sooo when my mom invites me to go on Sundays, I'm just like "no thanks those people are crazy :)" That's like so unrelated it's not even funny.

One thing that always bothered me in those discussions was when people would say it's a choice to be gay. Who in their right mind CHOOSES to go through that kind of stuff though? The bullying, confusion, and teasing and such...no one would just say "k guys i'm gay now" and WANT to put up with it. My friend tried to experiment with that "choice" thing our junior year (the Bible person yes lol) and she was like "K I'LL BE BI NOW" and I'm thinking "...you can't just...ugh...WOMAN! v_v" but the point was proven. Just cause she said she was gonna be bi at that point didn't mean she actually liked boys and girls. She couldn't do it, lol. She settled down with her gay bashing after that luckily. I don't associate with her anymore though, so I don't know where she stands on it now.

I'm sorry if I'm stepping on any toes here. ;-; I can get really ranty and say things without thinking sometimes, so I apologize in advance if that ever happens. 8D; Or if that happened just now...lol

Oryx May 27th, 2011 4:56 PM

I think I'll join. I'm not gay myself, but I have plenty of friends who are, as well as being part of the GSA at school...which is interesting because Notre Dame won't accept it as an actual student organization even though it's applied 15 years in a row.


What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

I never really thought about gay rights when I was younger, not until I transferred into Catholic school in 10th grade. In fact, I kind of have to say that the only people I had met that even mentioned it were the kind of people that I knew only did it for shock value, so all my experience was with people that were gay/bi as a joke pretty much, not taking it seriously and only doing it because it was cool among our group of friends. When I transferred though, I met one of my friends from middle school that came out while we hadn't been talking as being bi, and I had a huge crush on a boy that came out that year as being gay. Both of these people were in the top 10% of our class. They were honors students with big goals and big dreams, and just happened to be bi/gay (although the girl admitted later that she's actually gay as well, she just hates the word lesbian haha). From them I met a lot of people in my school who were either bi or gay, including a very popular lesbian couple.

Despite the fact that it was a Catholic school and everyone automatically thinks "oh, it's Catholic, that means everyone hates gays, right?", it mostly wasn't that way, even among the few nuns that still taught there. The principal was in love with my gay guy friend, and he would visit her for long talks about why same-sex couples can't buy couples tickets to proms, and any problems he might have with other guys messing with him. I had to visit her once with him myself because of an issue with a few guys that I happened to know, and she embodied the true Catholic spirit towards these kinds of things: she didn't think of him as an evil gay, but just as a person who's having trouble with bullying.

So after meeting more gay people in Catholic high school then I had met in my entire life (lol), I graduated and now I go to Notre Dame, where the students are...interesting. I had one friend who expressed interest in me, and one of the main reasons I would never date him is because he thinks being gay is "wrong". Meanwhile, there's a strong GSA who has applied for club status every year for 15 years straight and has been denied, and a school who refuses to add sexual orientation to their non-discrimination clause. So that's about where I am with LGBT issues right now, lol.

Sorry for the tl;dr. >_>

Hybrid Trainer May 27th, 2011 5:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydian (Post 6663165)

One thing that always bothered me in those discussions was when people would say it's a choice to be gay. Who in their right mind CHOOSES to go through that kind of stuff though? The bullying, confusion, and teasing and such...

Not that being gay is a bad thing though x]

The amount of people I've had to try and convince that being gay isn't a choice has gone way past being funny. I'm even having constant arguments with one of my best friends who refuses to believe that being gay isn't a choice simply because he said he tried to be gay at one point. Which makes no sense at all ¬.¬

Is it just me who has no idea what these GSA clubs are all about? I find it funny that even though my college does an adult course that specialises in 'Sexual Minority Therapy Counselling' (which deals with coming out, oppression and the general life style) we still lack to have one x]

Taemin May 27th, 2011 9:05 PM

15 years of denying a GSA club? Ugh, that's so wrong. Can't say that I'm surprised, though.

Also, yeah, I've never understood the people who think being gay is a choice. Like Syd said, what sane person would choose to just wake up one morning, decide to be gay, and go through all the suffering just for the heck of it? xD; Some people. -shakes head-

Likewise, I feel bad for the people who go through 'cleansing' or whatever, to try to get rid of their homosexuality. Like "Do these steps, repeat these actions daily, etc etc - and you will no longer be gay! The demons will be out of your body!", and then some of the people actually go with it, and say they aren't gay anymore, just to get people to leave them alone. Makes me feel bad for them. :/

FreakyLocz14 May 27th, 2011 9:05 PM

Well, this makes me even more glad that I never became a member of the Human Rights Campaign. They are more concerned about their liberal politics than LGBT rights.

http://www.goproud.org/hrc-officially-ends-charade-of-%E2%80%9Cbipartisanship%E2%80%9D-with-pre-emptive-obama-endorsement/

donavannj May 27th, 2011 9:54 PM

Totally joining.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Landorus (Post 6660298)

This marriage amendment is an embarrassment to the state of Minnesota. Many people voted the Republicans in for their financial policies (which I think are stupidly uncompromising in and of themselves, but I'll keep that out of here) and because they were sick of nothing getting done, not their social policies. Although we certainly do have our fair share of social conservatives here now, especially with the considerable number of transplants moving to the Twin Cities suburbs.

@Freaky: As it stands right now, Democrats are more likely to be friendlier to general human rights than their GOP counterparts.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
My personal views of what basic human rights consist of and exactly how far those should extend, as well as highly liberal teachers in elementary school teaching about accepting people for who they are.

Sydian May 27th, 2011 10:17 PM

@Drew: WHAAAAAAT. That's so weird. :( Reminds me of a member (don't think they're here anymore) that said he was gay, but was gonna marry a woman and have kids. I don't remember his reasons, but I felt so bad and concerned. He shouldn't have to hide who he is to make...whoever he was trying to make happy.

FreakyLocz14 May 27th, 2011 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donavannj (Post 6663580)
@Freaky: As it stands right now, Democrats are more likely to be friendlier to general human rights than their GOP counterparts.

I think it's unfair to endorse Obama until we know who the GOP candidate will be. I say that especially since we have two moderately pro-LGBT candidates running and an openly homosexual man running, as well.

I don't want to turn this thread into a debate, though. I'm just saying that this endorsement is pretty premature.

Impo May 28th, 2011 12:00 AM

I'll join this.

I think I am asexual, but I can't be sure (after all, I'm only young).
But despite my age I support in gay rights and believe if two people love each other their gender shouldn't matter.

Shining Raichu May 28th, 2011 4:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toujours (Post 6663201)
I think I'll join. I'm not gaymyself, but I have plenty of friends who are, as well as being part of the GSA at school...which is interesting because Notre Dame won't accept it as an actual student organization even though it's applied 15 years in a row.

Hey Toujours, welcome! Have they given an actual reason for not accepting the group? It may not be appropriate given it's a Catholic school (gay-friendly as the school may be, it's not exactly in the official Catholic party line and may be hard to explain to higher-ups?)

Quote:

Originally Posted by donavannj (Post 6663580)
Totally joining.

Welcome, donnavannj!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6663674)
I'll join this.

I think I am asexual, but I can't be sure (after all, I'm only young).
But despite my age I support in gay rights and believe if two people love each other their gender shouldn't matter.

Welcome Impo! Well, I think as an asexual you're represented by one of the A's at the end anyway, so you fit :D


OK. Now the official business is over, I can actually get discussing stuff :P

On the "who chooses to be gay" line, I've actually come across a lot of parents who perpetuate this with their denial. Like, "oh he's just doing this to be rebellious" etc, simply because they can't get their head around the fact that the life they had envisioned for their child will not be the life their child gets. I think the worst thing a parent can do for a child is to want things for them. Let people want for themselves.

Impo May 28th, 2011 4:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6663874)
On the "who chooses to be gay" line, I've actually come across a lot of parents who perpetuate this with their denial. Like, "oh he's just doing this to be rebellious" etc, simply because they can't get their head around the fact that the life they had envisioned for their child will not be the life their child gets. I think the worst thing a parent can do for a child is to want things for them. Let people want for themselves.

I don't like how some parents won't accept their child's sexual orientation. My mother is always telling me that I can be whoever I want and she'll always love me, which I think is great (I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm gay though, but it's nice to know if I was she wouldn't try to change me).

I'm a closeted asexual, particularly because during my age (school mostly) people will consider you rather... disorientated.

Shining Raichu May 28th, 2011 4:45 AM

Ah, parents. This has actually given me inspiration for a new topic to introduce.

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?

Hybrid Trainer May 28th, 2011 5:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6663874)
On the "who chooses to be gay" line, I've actually come across a lot of parents who perpetuate this with their denial. Like, "oh he's just doing this to be rebellious" etc, simply because they can't get their head around the fact that the life they had envisioned for their child will not be the life their child gets. I think the worst thing a parent can do for a child is to want things for them. Let people want for themselves.

Well that's really one of the biggest fears of anyone really, gay straight or whatever is for your parents not to accept who you are or who you've become. Yea it'll be harder for gay kids because being gay is still a fairly rare thing compared to being straight and there are so many different opinions its near impossible to know exactly how your parents will react to such news.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6663900)
Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Well i'm not offically 'out' so to speak as there are still a large quantity of people that don't know yet but i did come out to my friends last summer. I only came out to one of my friends first because i thought that we'd got to know each other so well that i felt like I wanted to tell him about me. I was having a conversation with him over facebook through comments on some status, about half way through this conversation I got this urge to tell him. I can't really explain it but it was a bit like an epiphany moment x] So we moved the conversation over to MSN. Here i did this weird build up of making him promise he wouldn't tell anyone until i said he could, so after he swore he wouldn't i finally told him. It kinda killed the whole moment that he didn't read over the message properly and i had to tell him to go and read it again ¬.¬ But after that he went quite and we didn't talk much until we went offline. So unfortunately he wasn't really cool with knowing it and lets just say we don't talk any more.
But in-between all of the drama with the last guy i told i also told another one of my close friends. This time i wanted to see if it was any easier to tell someone in person rather than have that horrible part of silence over IM when the other person is typing. To do this when i met up with him i said i had something to tell him, because he was the really annoying noisy friend i knew he wouldn't let it drop until i told him. So we went the whole day and we met up with one of his friends and by the end he was starting to loose it because i'd still yet to tell him lol. After walking his friend home i thought i'd say it, this was actually a billion times harder than doing it over IM xD i was so nervous when the words came out of my mouth my entire body went tense. My hands went into fists so tight that my finger nails drew blood from my palms. But after that we decided to take the long way back to my bus stop so he could ask questions and such. He actually took it quite well which was a relief. He still finds it funny to take the mick out of me because of it though ¬.¬
And then after that i thought i'd try getting someone else to tell them, so i got the friend who i told in person to tell two of my other friends that i was gay. To be quite honest i found it amusing as usually they don't stop arguing and never shut but after he told them they went completely mute. There ok with it too, so everything worked out fine there.
And then finally i thought i'd tell the rest of my friends via facebook. I posted a status that someone on PC helped me write because my english skills suck xD At first people thought it was a joke and someone facebook raped me but once it finally sunk in i got a few messages saying that they were cool with it, and even better not a single message saying something negative :D about half my friend list did un-friend me over the next few weeks but still, at least they did it discreetly :D

Alternative May 28th, 2011 6:12 AM

As an ally of this place, I have known people who are gay, but no one has really come out to me. I'm not exactly the person who is everyone's best friend. I've known people who are gay and stuff, but I haven't had anyone come up to me and tell me that they are gay.

Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.

Impo May 28th, 2011 6:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alternative (Post 6663991)
Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.

...That sounds like a blockbuster-movie idea. It does sound interesting, sometimes I wonder why people think it's wrong to be gay. Considering I don't see anything wrong with it and I'm not gay, I don't see any reasons for others to see it as wrong.

Ctrl.Alt.Geak May 28th, 2011 7:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6663900)
Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I tried to tell my mother about 6 years ago, she literally said "No you're not" and I agreed with her and made like it was a joke or something (so I basically re-closeted myself), a few years later she asks "If you were gay you'd tell me right?" to which I said "Of course! But I'm not so don't worry". When I first hit high school she sent me to an in-school program, that was run by the church which basically shoved gender stereotypes in our face and told us to act and look a certain way.
I did tell a friend of mine a few months ago, he didn't take it well, he has nothing against gay people but he wasnt exactly happy about it, we dont talk to each other anymore.
I met an FtM recently who just assumed that I had no interest in the opposite sex however I dont really plan to tell anyone else for a while now.

Bloo May 28th, 2011 7:54 AM

Hi, I've been lurking this thread lately, but I'd like to join. I support the LGBTQ community 100% :). Anyway, I'll answer some of the new topics here so that I can keep the conversation going.

No, I haven't come out of the closet, but I've told two of my friends. I knew one of them wouldn't accept me, so I had to explain to her that homosexuality wasn't a choice, and that it is the way people are. I remember she said something about an "It Gets Better" video that she was looking at, and she had kind of set me off. She didn't know how hard it was for some people, and she asked me why I knew about all this, and I said it was because I'm gay, because I wanted to be honest. I told her that she was the first person I had told, and it was fine, but it was kind of a shock for her. It had caused a little anger with me from her, but we made up again. Then I told my other friend. She doesn't like inappropriate jokes, and is mostly set off from the other kids, so I told her, and she was completely fine with it. So far, these are the only people I've told.

FreakyLocz14 May 28th, 2011 8:45 AM

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?


I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.

Charizard★ May 28th, 2011 8:48 AM

I'm trying to convince two people that are close to me (friend and family member) to come out of the closet and tell people. But, it's not working out to well, they're both girls, and they don't really want to be judged. My friends mom and dad are deeply against gay/bisexual marriages and people. I don't understand why they do, but they don't let any of her gay friends come into their house or at least while they are there. She once asked her parents what they would do if she was a lesbian and they told her that they would probably disown her. I really thought that was horrible, but I highly doubt her parents would do that.

As for my cousin, my family judges. A lot. But, I'm trying to get her to tell her mom, not her dad tho. I'm pretty sure her mom will be more understanding than her dad. Her mom is nice and all, but she's a bit suspicious because she overheard a part of our conversation. Her dad on the other hand is strongly against it. He even said all gay people should go shoot themselves because it's unnatural. He's the type of person who wouldn't be scared to beat his kids, and he even said 'If I end up killing one, I'll just make another one.' So yea, I don't know if I should still help them some out with it, but I told them I'm here for them.

Oryx May 28th, 2011 9:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6663874)
Hey Toujours, welcome! Have they given an actual reason for not accepting the group? It may not be appropriate given it's a Catholic school (gay-friendly as the school may be, it's not exactly in the official Catholic party line and may be hard to explain to higher-ups?)

Their "explanation" is that we have something called the Core Council, which is a panel of 8 students that's like a GSA, except without open acceptance of everyone since it's a panel. They try to tell the GSA that it's unnecessary because it's redundant due to the Core Council, as much as the Core Council itself tries to explain otherwise.

Shining Raichu May 28th, 2011 3:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlooMilk C. (Post 6664119)
Hi, I've been lurking this thread lately, but I'd like to join. I support the LGBTQ community 100% :).

Welcome, BlooMilk C.! It's great that we're attracting lurkers XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6664191)
I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.

I totally agree, I've often thought this. If we stop making it a big deal, then it will stop being a big deal - but unfortunately, talking about it and actually being in the situation are two different things, so this change will be very slow and gradual at best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ctrl.Alt.Geak (Post 6664082)
I tried to tell my mother about 6 years ago, she literally said "No you're not" and I agreed with her and made like it was a joke or something (so I basically re-closeted myself), a few years later she asks "If you were gay you'd tell me right?" to which I said "Of course! But I'm not so don't worry". When I first hit high school she sent me to an in-school program, that was run by the church which basically shoved gender stereotypes in our face and told us to act and look a certain way.
I did tell a friend of mine a few months ago, he didn't take it well, he has nothing against gay people but he wasnt exactly happy about it, we dont talk to each other anymore.
I met an FtM recently who just assumed that I had no interest in the opposite sex however I dont really plan to tell anyone else for a while now.

Wow, you seem to have had a rougher time of it than anyone ever should! That's terrible what your mother said, I can't imagine how you'd react to someone saying "No, you're not." I think I'd get defensive and be all "uh, excuse me, I think I'd know!"

Also, your friend - if he didn't take it well and doesn't talk to you anymore, are you sure he doesn't have anything against gay people?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toujours (Post 6664260)


Their "explanation" is that we have something called the Core Council, which is a panel of 8 students that's like a GSA, except without open acceptance of everyone since it's a panel. They try to tell the GSA that it's unnecessary because it's redundant due to the Core Council, as much as the Core Council itself tries to explain otherwise.

Ah, I see. So basically they're trying to tactfully squash the group, using the Core Council as a scapegoat?

Astinus May 28th, 2011 8:07 PM

I'm joining. I wasn't a part of the social group, so hopefully I'll be active in the club. As for how I identify: genderqueer biromantic asexual

I haven't come out as anything in real life. My parents are very religious (my mother particularly so), and they're really not open at all to anything different than "normal". Especially trans* issues. Anytime they're presented with an opportunity to learn, they ignore. So I'm keeping my identity as much of a secret as I can from them. It's also from their raising that I wasn't even aware of gays until I entered high school, which was the experience that completely opened my mind to...everything. (That, and the Internet, of course.)

Plus I know a lot of other close-minded people who assume that I should act more of how my sex says I should act rather than the way I'm most comfortable being. (To give some insight, I'm a female assigned at birth, who has a fluid gender, presents as androgynous, and prefers either gender-neutral pronouns [zie and zir] or male pronouns.)

Then there's the fact that some of the people that I spend my days with don't have good views on people who are bi. And asexuality isn't that well-known. So if I do come out, there's a lot of explaining I would have to do, and some days I'm just so tired of explaining everything every time.

On the plus side, there are a few people that know what I am. Only one person in real life knows, and he accepts me no matter what I do, so knowing him helps me get through my days. And all of my friends online have some idea about me because I'm more comfortable online. Which is quite obvious from this post.

Taemin May 29th, 2011 1:03 AM

Hi, Asty! :D Good to see you joining. Also.. biromantic? Haven't heard that term. Sounds it would be something like dating either gender, depending on the person, even if you don't have any physical spark with them. Like.. a mental type crush, or something. That might be just typical asexuality, though.

&Ctrl.Alt.Geak, sorry about how your mom reacted some years back.
I feel bad for anyone who's parents either deny, ignore, or try to talk them out of it. My mom did a bit of the ignoring the issue for awhile, but apparently it was still on her mind a lot, even if she didn't want to bring it up with me, and pay attention to it. She eventually did, though. I can't understand how some parents would disown their own child, or deny their feelings, etc. It's depressing to think about.

Shining Raichu May 29th, 2011 3:27 AM

I've never heard the term biromantic either, I'd love to hear more about it. The more diversity the better. Welcome Astinus!

Impo May 29th, 2011 3:56 AM

I think biromantic is when someone enjoys the romantic side of a relationship, like cuddles and love-notes.

I'm only guessing though,

Hybrid Trainer May 29th, 2011 4:01 AM

Well google says biromantic is when an asexual person is attracted more than one gender but without physical attraction.

I love this group so much, i seem to be learning more and more about these things every day :D like i didn't even know there were gender-neutral pronouns x]

Welcome to the group Astinus!

Timbjerr May 29th, 2011 6:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6665630)
I've never heard the term biromantic either, I'd love to hear more about it. The more diversity the better. Welcome Astinus!

Since asexuals don't have any sexual attraction to any gender, we further identify mainly by who we become romantically and aesthetically attracted to. A biromantic like Astinus is open to having romantic relationships with either gender, heteroromantics like myself are primarily attracted to the opposite gender, homoromantics are attracted primarily to the same gender, then you've got panromantics and aromantics as well. XD

Just because an asexual doesn't feel the need for sex doesn't mean we don't have the same emotional needs as everyone else. :P

For further study, here's a good resource for a lot of the terminology used by asexuals: [link]

Steven May 29th, 2011 6:53 AM

Hello everyone, and welcome to the new members (which I finally added to the list!)

Sorry for not posting, been getting ready for graduation.

Ctrl.Alt.Geak May 29th, 2011 7:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6664895)
Wow, you seem to have had a rougher time of it than anyone ever should! That's terrible what your mother said, I can't imagine how you'd react to someone saying "No, you're not." I think I'd get defensive and be all "uh, excuse me, I think I'd know!"

It would take a strong willed person to get defensive, but at the time I figured it would be easier to just agree with her. Most of my family have a very misguided view on what a homosexuality is.

On a lighter note; welcome to BlooMilkC and Astinus! :)

twistedpuppy May 29th, 2011 3:15 PM

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told an uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & gave me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alternative (Post 6663991)
Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.

There's a musical with the same premise. It's called Were the World Mine.

Sydian May 29th, 2011 3:56 PM

Quote:

I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & game me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)
Awww, that's touching. :'( Sucks that your friend went around and told everyone though, omg. What a chatter box.

I dont' have a "coming out" story, but the closest I can get to it is breaking away from my religious family in that they don't agree with it. It shouldn't be too difficult, considering I have a very liberal aunt and grandmother, but still, it's a weird feeling to finally have an opinion way different than how you were raised to think.

Quote:

I'm joining. I wasn't a part of the social group, so hopefully I'll be active in the club. As for how I identify: genderqueer biromantic asexual

I haven't come out as anything in real life. My parents are very religious (my mother particularly so), and they're really not open at all to anything different than "normal". Especially trans* issues. Anytime they're presented with an opportunity to learn, they ignore. So I'm keeping my identity as much of a secret as I can from them. It's also from their raising that I wasn't even aware of gays until I entered high school, which was the experience that completely opened my mind to...everything. (That, and the Internet, of course.)

Plus I know a lot of other close-minded people who assume that I should act more of how my sex says I should act rather than the way I'm most comfortable being. (To give some insight, I'm a female assigned at birth, who has a fluid gender, presents as androgynous, and prefers either gender-neutral pronouns [zie and zir] or male pronouns.)

Then there's the fact that some of the people that I spend my days with don't have good views on people who are bi. And asexuality isn't that well-known. So if I do come out, there's a lot of explaining I would have to do, and some days I'm just so tired of explaining everything every time.

On the plus side, there are a few people that know what I am. Only one person in real life knows, and he accepts me no matter what I do, so knowing him helps me get through my days. And all of my friends online have some idea about me because I'm more comfortable online. Which is quite obvious from this post.
Welcome mommy! :) <3 idc you're my mommy always lol ;;

Had a lot of reading and catching up to do, but I agree with Hybrid Trainer. It's so great to learn about all this stuff. :)

Also, about parents having difficult reactions, I'm not a parent, and don't really intend on being one (or well, at least not soon), but I am a sympathizer. I imagine it's hard to accept when your child has become something you disapprove of, or something that you would have never expected or wanted from your child. In all honesty, if I had a child that came out as being gay, I would have a hard time accepting it too, however, I wouldn't go as far to disown them and/or stop loving them. I'd learn to accept it eventually. I guess the whole "disowning" thing is just a weird way of trying to deal with it for them. This is just what I'm assuming though, judging from the stories here and stories I've heard elsewhere.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?

I have never had anyone come out to me. But this does remind me of another story. My Bible face-shoving friend (yeah, I'll mention her a lot) dated a guy for three years that was using her as a cover up. And she had noooo idea. Figured she would have caught on by the fact he wouldn't kiss her or anything, but then again, they were younger so idk. But anyway, he eventually broke up with her after coming out and pretty much everyone in school thought she made him gay. Even she was convinced of it at one point, and just thought she turned guys gay. People wouldn't even talk to her and it was pretty much impossible for her to get a boyfriend for about a year.

Yeah, I've jumped topics like four times in one post. D; My bad, lmao.

Hybrid Trainer May 29th, 2011 4:01 PM

Omg twisted that is amazing that you could take something positive from such a negative experience. Its great about how your uncles reacted but to hear that from your own father must've been a horrible.

twistedpuppy May 29th, 2011 5:43 PM

I think that anyone here who has ever had estranged relationship with a parent, sibling, or extended family member would agree that family isn't just a blood relation. It's something you form through relationships with people. It hurts when the family you were given at birth rejects you, but you have to realize you're not alone in this world. Your family is bigger than you think it is. /cheesy speech over.

aRedMoon May 29th, 2011 7:46 PM

I remember the days when such a topic was taboo here at PC, even though a majority of us would admit to our not-straight sexualities on MSN or such...

Hi, I'm Greg. I'm gay, and moreorless out. My family knows (they just fail to acknowledge it, most of the time) and if anyone asks, I'm like "Oh, yeah."

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
Uh, well, I'm gay. o/ It's also seemed like the right thing to do. I went through school in a "worldly" curriculum, and that basically opened me to the idea that everyone should be equal. Combined with my own personal bias, I don't see why adoption/marriage should be limited to just a man/woman. :-D


As for the Minnesota bill... grrrr. As a kid that's been born and raised here, it seriously pisses me off that my state would even consider that bull. I know it's already in the books that I won't be able to marry, but we should be going the opposite way!!! >O


Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.
My parental story is the same blah story of tears, hugs, and screams, so I'll ignore that.

My fun one is actually the first person I came out to IRL. (I've been a gayfag online forever, but not so much IRL. I was a closetcase) I had a serious crush on this boy a year younger than me, and my friend kinda had... access to the computer system, where information is stored.

She was bugging me to find out who I liked, and I made a deal - if I told her, she'd have to get the information for me. :D She was a little surprised when it was a boy, and I got my piece of paper with his full name, address... and *_* his picture. This was in like, November, way before the yearbook would come out - so this was my best bet. ;) Stalkerish, bad, but it made me life. I called it "Pretty Paper" and I kept it close to my heart.

---

I won't likely be active in here, but I may pop in from time to time :D I'm not active on PC at all (except in my Webbies section, where I post every few weeks to all the updated threads...) but I'll try. ;D

Shining Raichu May 30th, 2011 3:29 AM

Welcome, Greg! Thanks for sharing your stories with us :) I look forward to your future pop-ins :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedpuppy (Post 6666612)
Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told an uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & gave me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)

Oh my God! So, your father... how are things with him now? If you're now 'out' and your father knows it, does that mean you're no longer allowed to live at home? I personally find him to be a disgusting excuse for a human being (there are more expletives I won't use because he's still your father and you may not like people talking badly of him :P)

Your friend I'm not so surprised by, but your parents' reactions break my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

twistedpuppy June 1st, 2011 8:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6667439)
Oh my God! So, your father... how are things with him now? If you're now 'out' and your father knows it, does that mean you're no longer allowed to live at home? I personally find him to be a disgusting excuse for a human being (there are more expletives I won't use because he's still your father and you may not like people talking badly of him :P)

Your friend I'm not so surprised by, but your parents' reactions break my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Things with him are ok. He's learn to tolerate my sexuality. Sort of.
He thinks that me being gay is my problem not his. Interpret that however you'd like.

I'm out & I'm still welcomed under 'his' roof. I'm just not allowed to bring any guys over. Gay ones at least. It's something to do with their religion & I have to respect that.

Shining Raichu June 1st, 2011 4:08 PM

Ugh their religion, I think people use that as a cop-out because they know religion is the one thing people feel they have to respect. I get that you have to abide by it because it's their house (and I say house, not home, because it's your home too and you should be able to be yourself in it), but you do not have to respect it. I know I don't. So, they're never going to want anything to do with that part of your life? Even if you fall in love and decide to get married, you're never going to be allowed to bring your husband into their home? That's just disgusting.

FreakyLocz14 June 1st, 2011 4:32 PM

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself?

As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

Hybrid Trainer June 1st, 2011 4:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6672141)
As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

I'm confused doesn't to bear arms mean to have weapons?

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.
Not once have i ever gay bashed. i've always been like, whats the problem with gay people?
but i have friends who casually gay bash against me as a joke, sometimes they go a bit to far by calling me something like ******, which is where i draw the line, and i end up flipping out at them and give the whole speech about me calling them some sort of racial word.
I also know a few people who are all like 'ZOMG JESUS WASN'T GAY SO GAY IS WRONG HERP DERP' which is just stupid so i usually avoid them and let them go and play with all the other bigots who believe in all that bull.

twistedpuppy June 1st, 2011 5:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6672141)
As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

I get it, but doesn't that add fuel to the fire if the victim & the basher know each other?

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

I've never been gay bashed, but I do know someone who has. A friend of mine was coming back home after a book signing with his boyfriend. They stopped at gas station to refuel & while they were there they noticed a group of men giving them strange looks. My friend Larry knew something was wrong & immediately told his boyfriend to get back in the car. Before Larry could get back in the car & drive away, the group of me ran over & started beating him. The police were called, but the men had left the scene before they could arrive. Larry had suffered some serious head injuries. It was so bad that he had learn how to walk & talk all over again. He was like a blank slate. He's fine now, but there are still a few things he doesn't remember. He does carry a firearm with him at all times because of this incident.

If you ever run into a situation where someone is verbally harassing you, just walk away. If you want to talk some sense into that person then always maintain a sense of dignity. Don't make it into a screaming contest because things will just escalate into violence. But if you should ever run into a situation like my friend Larry did, protect yourself. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe & whoever is with you, but also try your best to get out of it & call the authorities. Don't try to solve this on your own.

Esper June 1st, 2011 5:25 PM

Is this a private party or can anyone join? I don't know if I'd be very active, but I'd like to be.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so? Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Just gonna mix the questions together in one tl;dr answer. My story is that I was always a quiet boy, a boy because when I was really young I didn't think you could be anything but what you looked like and what people treated you as, and quiet because I didn't always feel comfortable doing things with other boys so I kept to myself a lot. So, yeah, I'm transgendered, although I'm not totally keen on using labels because I don't fall totally within the bounds of what that typically means since I'm also bisexual in the sense that I've been attracted to guys and girls, but I'm also not bisexual because I'm not generally attracted to the male or female body specifically. I'm also not completely sure I want to have surgery either. I'm actually fairly certain I don't want to.

I guess I got into the whole community/rights thing in high school. Before that I was just trying my best to keep people from pushing me to do boy things so I put on the guise, did a few token things here and there so no one would worry too much, and just didn't think too much about anything. Then I had this one teacher who was totally outside of what you expect from teachers, trying to get us to think and care about things in the world. That's kind of where I got into supporting people, standing up for rights, and all that. It wasn't really about gay rights per se, but it turned out that one of the first friends I made in high school (and you have to understand that until HS I had, like, 2 friends and they were both Mormon, so yeah) came out to me and eventually I got into the GSA and got to meet all the other queer kids who were out. I suppose it was all of them, my teacher included, who were my inspiration.

I guess I came out, sort of, at homecoming where I was on the GSA's float and I wore a dress in public for the first time. That whole night turned out badly and I went back into hiding, letting everyone assume I was just a troublemaker, until after high school. Even then I've been mostly quiet about it, or at least low key. I don't often wear skirts or dresses or anything that's not 'gender neutral' because I don't feel I *need* to prove my identity to people, but also because I'm still scared of loosing my job, some of my friends, and generally having bad reactions. I know, stupid, but hey, that's where I am. Still, I'm pushing the limits of how a 'guy' is supposed to look and act anyway and even little things like that make me happy.

Oh, that wasn't as long as I thought it would be. lol

Shining Raichu June 1st, 2011 5:27 PM

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

No, I haven't, and I don't know anyone in real life who has been physically bashed because of their sexuality.

Freaky, as against guns as I am, I can't help but partly agree that it would help the gay community to be able to pull something out of your jacket and say "back the hell off or I will kill you." But, satisfying as that image is in my head, I know that it would only escalate the contempt some feel for the gay community and make the overall problem worse.

Sydian June 1st, 2011 5:38 PM

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

Hmm, I wanna say that I've been around when a bunch of guys were gay bashing, and I got tired of hearing it and just blurted out "You know, gay people are people too. And don't act like you don't enjoy lesbians, I know you do. They're gay too. How you like them apples?" lmao I tend to have horrible insults to people. :(

And actually, I don't know if this really counts, but I sorta have been gay bashed, or rather, accused of being gay. I went to this really horrible school in 6th grade. Like, if you hung out with someone of the same sex all the time, like I did, then OMG YOU WERE GAY. So I was trying to read this guy's shirt after lunch one day, but my far off vision isn't the best, so I mean, it looked like I was all into staring, but I was just trying to read his shirt was all. Then he took notice and loudly blurted out "Stop staring at me, you little gay freak!!" :| I was too embarrassed to even say that I was just reading his shirt. Oh well. v_v

NurseBarbra June 1st, 2011 6:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6672141)
Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

As much as I'd hate to interject politics into this, I firmly believe that the right to bear arms would benefit the LGBT community because of bashing.

But you can't have that, because if the LGBT community gets guns, then anyone with half a braincell could get a gun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hybrid Trainer (Post 6672164)

I'm confused doesn't to bear arms mean to have weapons?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U36CML-ngpg/TazviQB5W0I/AAAAAAAAABE/NZ2PLcXLb2o/s1600/family+guy+bear+arms.jpg
This.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.
Yes I have been "gay bashed". When I first came out in my school during first year, everyone whispered behind me as I walked by, I got different types of milkshakes trown at me and was even beaten up once, And when I told the teachers they said they needed hard proof that the bullying was because I was gay. At the start of summer I decided to take up shotokan karate (A tradition in my family when you hit the age 14/15 mark), It boosted my confidence, and eventually when some idiot (I'm using the phrase "Idiot" lightly...) decided he'd try fight me, He wound up with a broken wrist and 2 bruised ribs (I don't encourage violence BTW). I also lost a few friends just because I was gay, and a guy in my class hates me because I am who I am, He screamed In my face that being gay was sick and wrong and that I should go die, But ever since then up to a point he said that I was the A-hole.
At the end it turned out that he was gay and that he hated me for the fact that I had enough confidence to be who I am (Surprize surprize...).

As for advice, I'd find 2 or 3 girls to just hang around with so you don't get bullied as much (Breasts work in MAGICAL ways... *InsertKatyPerryJokeHere*), And If you do get bullied remember to not give a reaction, that's all they want from you. (I'm not really good at giving advice at 3:40am)

Astinus June 1st, 2011 6:40 PM

I'll admit that NurseBarbra's reference to Family Guy made me laugh.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

I've been harassed due to being genderqueer, instead of for my sexuality. I'm more open with my gender, not dressing or acting like how people thought I should. So all through my years at school, I was insulted or physically attacked (in petty ways) for being comfortable with myself.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for avoiding it. What I did was ignore who was doing it and count down the days until I was out of school.

Ctrl.Alt.Geak June 1st, 2011 7:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedpuppy (Post 6672217)

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

I've never been gay bashed, but I do know someone who has. A friend of mine was coming back home after a book signing with his boyfriend. They stopped at gas station to refuel & while they were there they noticed a group of men giving them strange looks. My friend Larry knew something was wrong & immediately told his boyfriend to get back in the car. Before Larry could get back in the car & drive away, the group of me ran over & started beating him. The police were called, but the men had left the scene before they could arrive. Larry had suffered some serious head injuries. It was so bad that he had learn how to walk & talk all over again. He was like a blank slate. He's fine now, but there are still a few things he doesn't remember. He does carry a firearm with him at all times because of this incident.

That is absolutely terrible what happened to your friend Larry. I would not wish that upon anyone. I'm glad to hear he is fine now but it is quite scarey to think it happened in the first place.

FreakyLocz14 June 1st, 2011 7:42 PM

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Originally Posted by Hybrid Trainer (Post 6672164)

I'm confused doesn't to bear arms mean to have weapons?.

Yes, that's what it means.

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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6672234)
Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself?

No, I haven't, and I don't know anyone in real life who has been physically bashed because of their sexuality.

Freaky, as against guns as I am, I can't help but partly agree that it would help the gay community to be able to pull something out of your jacket and say "back the hell off or I will kill you." But, satisfying as that image is in my head, I know that it would only escalate the contempt some feel for the gay community and make the overall problem worse.

A person isn't worried about contempt when they're at risk of becoming the next Matthew Sheppard. If someone was to get physically bashed, I'd fully support their right to shoot their assailant(s). Hell, I'd shoot them if I were to see that happen. I'll be legally carrying one of these around once I turn 21, so they better not let me catch them.

Shining Raichu June 2nd, 2011 1:31 AM

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Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6672316)
At the start of summer I decided to take up shotokan karate (A tradition in my family when you hit the age 14/15 mark), It boosted my confidence, and eventually when some idiot (I'm using the phrase "Idiot" lightly...) decided he'd try fight me, He wound up with a broken wrist and 2 bruised ribs (I don't encourage violence BTW).

This is easily the most satisfying thing I have read all day. I'm so sorry all that happened to you, but what you made of it put the hugest smile on my face :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6672230)
Is this a private party or can anyone join? I don't know if I'd be very active, but I'd like to be.

Of course it's not a private party! Welcome, thanks for being here :) and thanks for sharing your story!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6672230)
I don't often wear skirts or dresses or anything that's not 'gender neutral' because I don't feel I *need* to prove my identity to people, but also because I'm still scared of loosing my job, some of my friends, and generally having bad reactions. I know, stupid, but hey, that's where I am. Still, I'm pushing the limits of how a 'guy' is supposed to look and act anyway and even little things like that make me happy.

That's not stupid, that's unfortunately where a lot of us are. That's why groups like these are created :)

Impo June 2nd, 2011 3:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6672316)
At the start of summer I decided to take up shotokan karate (A tradition in my family when you hit the age 14/15 mark), It boosted my confidence, and eventually when some idiot (I'm using the phrase "Idiot" lightly...) decided he'd try fight me, He wound up with a broken wrist and 2 bruised ribs (I don't encourage violence BTW).

....That was great. I hope you stuck it to him good. It's nice to know you are proud of who you are and won't stand for bullying :) .

professor plum June 2nd, 2011 10:11 PM

I'll be joining this, of course. I'm gay, y'all & I'm the president of my university's Gay/Straight Alliance.

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What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
Being gay and not having my voice heard/represented. I can't exactly say who my inspiration was. It's quite a conglomeration of people.

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Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.
Yes, I have.
The first idea that my parents had I was gay was when I was thirteen and wrote about it in a spiral. They told me it was just a phase, and I was too young to be certain.
Time went on, and things would happen, but they'd continually say it was a phase.
I got my first boyfriend in the fall of my senior year of high school [around November 2009], and well . . . due to them finding something (;]) on my computer, I blurted out to my mom, "Well this makes it easier for me to tell you: I have a boyfriend."

We didn't talk about it much until the summer of 2010, when I entered my next relationship. There was a lot of crying on both ends, but yeah. She told me she still loved me.

My mom told my dad at my request in December of 2010. He was really upset at first, but by the end of the month . . i actually brought my boyfriend home from college during the week of New Year's and they met him.

After certain recent events in my life [early april 2011] [which effected my activity on PC, which is why remaking the group wasn't my number one priority], my parents and I have actually gotten a lot closer. My dad and I had a rather long conversation about me being gay, and yeah. He's pretty much okay with it. He just thinks flaunting it everywhere is tacky - and I agree. I'm not going to shove my sexuality down anyone's throat. I'm the same person I've always been, I just like guys.

Regardless, my parents, over time, have come to accept it, and yeah. while it took a few years, it happened. :]

With my friends . . . well it was awkward.
When I told my closest friend [at the time], she thought I was asking her out. Needless to say, we weren't very close afterwards. She later told me that she prayed for me to change back. [we've hence made up, though]

Most of my other friends were pretty okay with it. I either told them, or they found out because I was dating this guy who went to school with us. It was actually kinda funny - even the teachers were talking about us XD;

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I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.
I agree, to an extent. However, the fact of the matter is that we still live in a hetero-normative society where most people are assumed to be straight. I know if I didn't come out to my parents, life would be absurdly weird, and awkward.

Quote:

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.
Bashed? Not particularly. I've been called fag, and whatnot, but other than that, nothing physical occurred.

and, yeah.
hi.

Steven June 3rd, 2011 7:38 AM

Hey everyone and welcome to all the new people!

Sorry for not posting, I've been busy again but most stuff is out of the way so I will start posting regularly with news.

GAY NEWS--

Hybrid Trainer June 3rd, 2011 7:55 AM

Hiya Erik!!! :D i was wondering when you'd pop up here xD

It actually makes me feel sick reading about how people think they can 'cure' any other sexuality different than hetero. The only thing that is special about being straight is that you can breed, yet most of this hate is coming from a religion where if you completely dedicate yourself to the religion your not allowed to have children.
It just doesn't make sense to me.

Sydian June 3rd, 2011 10:40 AM

Hi Erik<33 :)

Quote:

It actually makes me feel sick reading about how people think they can 'cure' any other sexuality than hetero. The only thing that is special about being straight is that you can breed, yet most of this hate is coming from a religion where if you completely dedicate yourself to the religion your not allowed to have children.
It just doesn't make sense to me.
Haha, never thought of it that way, that the only advantage to being straight is that I can breed (though, I don't really wanna).

Also, what is intersex? It's the I of the group, but I don't think anyone has joined as that, so I was just wondering what it meant exactly. ^^;

FreakyLocz14 June 3rd, 2011 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydian (Post 6675234)
Hi Erik<33 :)



Haha, never thought of it that way, that the only advantage to being straight is that I can breed (though, I don't really wanna).

Also, what is intersex? It's the I of the group, but I don't think anyone has joined as that, so I was just wondering what it meant exactly. ^^;

So are they saying that only hetero's should or can be cured?

Esper June 3rd, 2011 12:41 PM

Intersex covers a lot of things, usually people who have anatomy that isn't clearly male or female. It can also be something like a person with male chromosomes who develops outwardly as female. (I've actually met someone like this.) And it can also be used by people who don't want to be identified as either female or male.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself.

Yeah, I have. On top of occasional slurs and things I had rocks thrown at me and the other people I was with by a bunch of hicks at my high school's homecoming while we were on our GSA float. That part was actually not so bad, but tt got kind of dangerous after when I didn't have that (somewhat) safe distance and was on my own. I got confronted, threatened and so I ran away as fast as I could. Lucky for me a teacher noticed and followed me before I could do anything stupid.

I really don't know how to avoid it. To some degree it's just going to happen. Trying to physically defend yourself isn't a great idea because usually things happen when you're outnumbered. The best thing to do is never be alone anywhere you feel unsafe.

I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of using weapons because that could escalate things to a very dangerous place very quickly and I'd rather be beaten up than killed. Like I said already, there are usually more of them than there are of you so even a gun wouldn't necessarily keep you safe. You can't always rely on bystanders to intervene either. Sometimes they will, but most people don't want to get involved.

Kevin June 3rd, 2011 2:19 PM

May I join also? It'd be cool to rejoin the alliance again from the social group.

PartiallyInsaneWhimsicott June 3rd, 2011 4:24 PM

I need something like this! I'm a closeted MtoF transgender (for those creepers who really need to know,) and I'd be absolutely devastated if anyone found out; mostly because I'm not sure how they would handle it. And because I'm going through the later stages of...physical maturity, and my dad would say it's just a part of my "who am I?" phase.

In answer to all of the questions adressed previously:

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

I would say that no one really "inspired" me, per se, just the fact that I'm someone who seeks equal rights and treatment for all, justice, etc. etc. But really got me into the supporting was when my mom brought home this gay/lesbian/general homosexuality documentary, and at the time I was twelve and I thought I was gay, and was actually thinking about coming out as gay to my mother. This should be saved for later, though. Anyway, after that we all (except my obnoxious brother) became avid LGB (no "T" at the time; I didn't really know anything about them) Rights supporters. And so.

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I have not ever come out of the closet, not once. I actually have been thinking about it as a whole, though, recently, and I'm just bursting to tell someone (as I have now); instead, I'll tell you the story of how I came to identify as female, despite what was in my pants...

I was thirteen, and I had overheard the word "transgender" in a heated debate on television or whatever. Using my superior spelling skillz, I decoded the word as meaning "cross-gender," but looked up, anyway, on Google, "transgender."

I was shocked at what I found. I found something stating that a transgender youth may or may not be uncomfortable with various or all stages of puberty. That being read, I learned more, and found out that I was, in fact, a mildly gender-variant child earlier in life, always wanting to play with my cousins' Barbies and kitchen sets. Whenever I played "made-believe" as a younger child of about five to eight, I would always play from a female perspective and play a female-empowering woman right in front of everyone else. I was also always hovering over skirts and my mom's and cousins' hair, always wanting to comb it or put it up in a ponytail (I actually did live through my mom at one point while I was seven) and actually once prance around in my mom's shoes.


And then I could identify, on further analysis, with many...hints, for lack of a better word, and found that my gender identity differed from my physical sex. And so I came to identify myself as a Male to Female transgender.


Now ain't that a lovely li'l anecdote?


Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself?

Luckily, neither I nor any of my friends have been gay-bashed, because no one knows about my...condition, and because of the fact that my school is somewhat gay-friendly. And while acting gay is a popular joke among kids my age around town, I hardly ever partake for the sake of respect.

And if you or anyone around you is being gay-bashed, if it's verbal, I suggest to ignore it and, if that doesn't work, confront whoever and tell them that something to the effect that you are a person too, and that you have rights, and from your eyes, what they do is unfavorable. In a physical case, though, stand up for yourself and don't let them hurt you. Or, at least try. And, if all else fails, just go and tell an authority figure that you are being harassed; no need for the reason. Harassment is enough of an...immoral act, if you will?

And in regard to anyone who might need it, if you are being told you dong belong or shouldn't exist, or what you are is unnatural, if you believe in a God and if they believe in a God, then inquire, "Why, then, if I'm not meant to be here or am unnatural or undesirable, did God make me the way I am? And don't say He made a mistake, because He doesn't make mistakes." Or something to that effect.

I hope to be active here and to gain positive feedback, help, and just people like me to talk to. :3


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