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-ty- September 20th, 2011 12:33 PM

I think that men that are gay and are masculine are great. I just don't like when they PROCLAIM themselves as being "straight-acting". I understand that they do not want to be known for having stereotypical gay traits, but I also see it as an insecurity, and SOMETIMES as sign of disrespect for other LGBT individuals. I am masculine and I am not "straight-acting" - I am gay (no acts attached). I actually used act like feminine gay men and transgender people were beneath me in a sense; that was a long time ago. I just think that we as minorities like to throw someone else under the bus, after we have been throw under it. Now, I don't need to assert that I am anymore masculine than anyone else, nor do I think that I should be cautious of hanging out with someone if they appear to possess feminine qualities - it's so hypocritical. Also, I am less insecure of who I am. Although this is my personal anecdote, I think many others have shown their insecurities in a similar fashion.

Snow Phoenix September 20th, 2011 1:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6856679)
I think that men that are gay and are masculine are great. I just don't like when they PROCLAIM themselves as being "straight-acting". I understand that they do not want to be known for having stereotypical gay traits, but I also see it as an insecurity, and SOMETIMES as sign of disrespect for other LGBT individuals. I am masculine and I am not "straight-acting" - I am gay (no acts attached). I actually used act like feminine gay men and transgender people were beneath me in a sense; that was a long time ago. I just think that we as minorities like to throw someone else under the bus, after we have been throw under it. Now, I don't need to assert that I am anymore masculine than anyone else, nor do I think that I should be cautious of hanging out with someone if they appear to possess feminine qualities - it's so hypocritical. Also, I am less insecure of who I am. Although this is my personal anecdote, I think many others have shown their insecurities in a similar fashion.

I used to be a bit of a bully when I was younger ^-^' I'd pick fights all the time while I was in elementary school and I'd pester the special needs kid who was in my class. Twas mad and everything and I was never particularly popular. After a while I just started feeling bad about it and I changed. So I guess I already went down that path :P I'm not planning on hating anyone now except for my sister and my mother of whom I give myself permission to hate.

As for the topic of how far you would go... well... I've been really asking for a lot of help from friends lately xD So I don't really see myself right now as the type of person who'd be able to "help" anyone, but maybe it'd be nice to help a guy together as buddies :3 Though that type of plotline usually ends up... @[email protected]

-Jared- September 20th, 2011 2:35 PM

I don't see any join form or anything, so I suppose I'll just post here, asking to be a member of the club! ^__^

Shining Raichu September 20th, 2011 3:20 PM

Welcome, Pikapal642, of course you can join! To be honest I thought you'd already joined haha - there are so many people now!

As for the topic, I think those who go out of their way to proclaim that they're straight acting probably deserve some compassion. I think it means that they're having a harder time with the whole gay thing than those who don't feel the need to do so, and we should be mindful of that. Most of the time it's not easy to accept oneself as gay, so they're doing what they can to feel like this doesn't change who they are and they're overcompensating. I'm sure this isn't a life-long behaviour, they just need time to grow happier with who they are as a person.

Who's Kiyo? September 20th, 2011 3:39 PM

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Currently, I could give two [ohmycensorships] about if anyone considers me masculine or effeminate, but I'm more masculine so.... yeah. That's cool. I like it that way. :3


But before, I was totally one of those insecure guys. But I've learned just to not care. And I say that with the upmost emphasis on exasperation. Masculinity and being manly isn't everything, and you know what? What's me is me and I have better things to do then freak out about something as silly as masculinity.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

To the point where if I wasn't interested in them, I would make sure our relationship was purely platonic and understgood mutally to be such.

If the tables were flipped though, I wouldn't ask a straight guy.... actually, I don't know. I have a couple of straight guy friends who would probably take of their shirt and dance.

But most likely I'd take my best friend, most likely female, for moral support. No weird "should we be advancing romantically" feelings that way. Or better yet, a boyfriend if I had one!

-Jared- September 20th, 2011 3:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6856903)
Welcome, Pikapal642, of course you can join! To be honest I thought you'd already joined haha - there are so many people now!

As for the topic, I think those who go out of their way to proclaim that they're straight acting probably deserve some compassion. I think it means that they're having a harder time with the whole gay thing than those who don't feel the need to do so, and we should be mindful of that. Most of the time it's not easy to accept oneself as gay, so they're doing what they can to feel like this doesn't change who they are and they're overcompensating. I'm sure this isn't a life-long behaviour, they just need time to grow happier with who they are as a person.

You just posted exactly how I felt about the topic. :\ I was gonna think what to type up but then this happened. XD

Her September 20th, 2011 10:09 PM

You can join? I thought it just a 'post-here-if you're-interested' sort of thing. Oh well, sign me up!

Taemin September 20th, 2011 10:30 PM

Hey, Chris. xD Thought you were already a member here, but welcome.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Kura (Post 6856468)
Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

I think some people are just afraid, either because of their own issues, or afraid of what others will think of them. All comes to people judging and perceiving others. D; I think a lot of people who are of the LGBT group go through a point where they try to be something they're not.

Feels like I jumped around between all the letters in the title of this thread before I was actually okay with accepting things. xD;
For awhile it say "MAYBE I'M STRAIGHT. MAYBE I'M GAY. OR WAIT MAYBE I'M ASEXUAL. MAYBE I'M TRANSGENDER."
In the end, I'm a couple of things wrapped together and I've stopped labeling it, because I'm just myself.
Though, it took a lot of denial, and acting like someone I wasn't for some time to be able to get there.

Her September 20th, 2011 10:34 PM

As someone who has only come out of the closet to three people (my parents and one very understanding friend), I've spent a lot of time hiding my true self from people left I go through the same experience that happened when I came out to my parents. To be blunt, they did not take it well and practically disowned me.
I just want to wait until I'm not afraid to be judged by those around me who don't agree with my sexuality.

Ctrl.Alt.Geak September 21st, 2011 12:44 AM

Hope you dont mind if I leave this here, my fellow Australians may particularly be interested.
Tasmania Same-Sex Marriage Vote Succeeds


Shining Raichu September 21st, 2011 3:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harlequin (Post 6857345)
You can join? I thought it just a 'post-here-if you're-interested' sort of thing. Oh well, sign me up!

Well it is, more or less, but we keep a list of all the members anyway lol

Now, onto Ctrl.Alt.Geak's article. This is absolutely fantastic, it makes me so happy! There's still a lot of ground to cover, but at least someone has finally done something. There were quite a few things that bugged me in this article though:

Quote:

But the motion has disappointed others like the Anglican Bishop of Tasmania, John Harrower. "I think it's good to keep marriage to mean what it means, and for their relationships to have another term," he said.
"I can't see that that's discrimination. I can see that it's a description of a different sort of relationship.
"A loving relationship between same-sex couples, which is a civil union, a committed partnership, whatever term they might like to have, is a descriptor of that sort of relationship, as marriage is a descriptor of a relationship between a man and a woman."
That made me literally shake with rage. I hate that distinction he drew between the type of relationship. IT'S THE SAME TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP. Also, you jackass, it just so happens that marriage is the term we might like to have. Spheal with it, YOU LOSE. This 'us and them' attitude he's adopted carries a particular note of superiority to which he, of all people, has no right. It also shows the disdain with which "they" see "us".

The bottom line is this; I've said it before and I'll say it again: Separate is not equal, and it's not good enough anymore.

Snow Phoenix September 21st, 2011 3:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harlequin (Post 6857371)
As someone who has only come out of the closet to three people (my parents and one very understanding friend), I've spent a lot of time hiding my true self from people left I go through the same experience that happened when I came out to my parents. To be blunt, they did not take it well and practically disowned me.
I just want to wait until I'm not afraid to be judged by those around me who don't agree with my sexuality.

And I haven't told my mother and I don't plan on telling my mother :3 She's already abandoned me 6 times and is making a 7th atempt to abandon me... and that's without being gay :/ Pretty much if my mom loses this lawsuit, she's planning on staying with her brother who hates me and won't allow me into his house. So that would make me homeless and on my own... again. There's no way on plan on pushing things ^-^ Even though I want nothing to do with my mother when I'm finally an adult.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drew (Post 6857366)
Hey, Chris. xD Thought you were already a member here, but welcome.




I think some people are just afraid, either because of their own issues, or afraid of what others will think of them. All comes to people judging and perceiving others. D; I think a lot of people who are of the LGBT group go through a point where they try to be something they're not.

Feels like I jumped around between all the letters in the title of this thread before I was actually okay with accepting things. xD;
For awhile it say "MAYBE I'M STRAIGHT. MAYBE I'M GAY. OR WAIT MAYBE I'M ASEXUAL. MAYBE I'M TRANSGENDER."
In the end, I'm a couple of things wrapped together and I've stopped labeling it, because I'm just myself.
Though, it took a lot of denial, and acting like someone I wasn't for some time to be able to get there.

*claps hands* Yay for you :3 It's great that people are coming to terms with things xD

Ctrl.Alt.Geak September 21st, 2011 5:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6857550)
The bottom line is this; I've said it before and I'll say it again: Separate is not equal, and it's not good enough anymore.

Couldnt have put it better really. I'm hoping this will be a step forward though and that it does actually succeed, then hopefully other states will follow suit. I'm not getting my hopes up though.
Still it was a pleasent suprise (even if a few tossers like to play the "marriage is between a man and a woman" card amoungst other empty arguments) and I will be interested to see where this goes.

Hiidoran September 23rd, 2011 12:41 AM

Oh, the separate-yet-equal argument. Mhmm, 'cause that worked out so well before the civil rights movement of the United States, and all over the world for that matter. I really wish religious zealots would just realize that their "sacred institution" is no longer about religion at all. It's a legal term. To be married comes with financial and legal privileges that should be shared between all couples who wish to make that level of devotion. No, we shouldn't have to call it something else. Why? Because our relationships aren't any different than that of a heterosexual couples'. No less important - therefore the same. Why should we call it anything different?

Honestly, I don't even think it's about defending the definition of the institution anymore. It's just about discrimination. People can justify it by any means they want, but the bottom line is they're just doing it out of hate. Only difference is most of society looks down upon outright hatred so they need an excuse. Not that this reason stops everyone...

About the whole "acting straight" thing...

Really, just be who you want to be. If you're naturally more masculine and like to do more characteristically, and I use that term lightly, "straight" things, then by all means do. If you like to express your more characteristically feminine side, then do so. However, it's not really okay for the gay community to turn on each other over something so petty. Personally, I find masculine gay guys more attractive, so I've run into my fair share of guys who think it's wrong to "act gay," even though they clearly are themselves. How exactly can you "act" to be something you are...? You mean don't "act effeminate." Still kind of hurtful to say so, but at least use correct, not-so-stereotypical syntax.

...and on a more friendly note. Hey there! o/ Larry would like to join, please~

Shining Raichu September 23rd, 2011 5:03 AM

Hello Larry, welcome! I've been hoping to get to know you for a while now, hopefully this will present the opportunity! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hiidoran
No, we shouldn't have to call it something else. Why? Because our relationships aren't any different than that of a heterosexual couples'.

This randomly reminded me of a really touching moment on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. I'm not sure if any of you have ever watched it, but yeah lol. In an episode in Season 5, she visited a home for LGBT teenagers who had been thrown out on the street by their families for being gay. There was one scene where she was sitting with them in their bedroom talking about gay marriage (because they were to attend a rally the following day). One of the boys said to Kathy, "It's just love. I mean, sure, it's a different kind of love, but..." to which Kathy just shrugged and said, "Well... maybe not so different." That scene always gets to me.

If anyone's interested, the episode is called "Norma Gay", I'm sure you can find it somewhere. The episode was nominated for an Emmy which it should have won, it's a really good hour of television.

Also,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hiidoran
their "sacred institution" is no longer about religion at all. It's a legal term.

This.

Esper September 23rd, 2011 8:36 AM

Self-Proclaimed Prophet Links Repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell with Mass Bird Deaths.

Did I get your attention?


Oryx September 23rd, 2011 8:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6860417)

Looool. I like how she just ignored the fact that birds died in Louisiana days later. Also, I find it amusing that they're using the term "American Way" - if the law now says something different, isn't the law the American way now? :P

U.Flame September 23rd, 2011 10:37 AM

Damns this place posts so often I can't keep up. ^_^;
So, how do kids with same sex parents address them? Mommy 1 and Mommy 2?

Alice September 23rd, 2011 1:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6860417)

Say wuuuuuuuut?

I actually laughed out loud at that.

TornZero September 23rd, 2011 3:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by U_Flame (Post 6860549)
Damns this place posts so often I can't keep up. ^_^;
So, how do kids with same sex parents address them? Mommy 1 and Mommy 2?

They could get rid of the "mom and dad" thing altogether and call their parents by their first name. Or they could even both just be "Mom", or both "Dad".

twistedpuppy September 23rd, 2011 3:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6860417)

Her views & her leopard print coat are so outdated. And since when are Christian beliefs considered "the American way"?

-Jared- September 23rd, 2011 3:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6860417)

Lolwut? I mean, I am Christian, so of course I believe it could be possible, but I think there would probably be lots of other instances where this could happen, but as far as I know (which is admittedly little) this hasn't happened before sooooo, this isn't likely. XD

Squirrel September 23rd, 2011 3:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TornZero (Post 6860853)

They could get rid of the "mom and dad" thing altogether and call their parents by their first name. Or they could even both just be "Mom", or both "Dad".

I have a friend who has two dads and he calls them by their first names. But he refuses to tell most people at school about this... It's a shame, they're perfectly lovely people, he's just embarrassed about them. He did have a mum till he was 10 though, so I suppose that could be something to do with it. Do you guys think it'd be harder to adapt to having two dads after years of having a mum, or do you think it doesn't make a difference?

oocyst September 23rd, 2011 3:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6860417)

I get so annoyed when Christians act like they created the concept of marriage and therefore have the right to define what marriage is. Marriage exists all over the world in many different cultures and it's different everywhere. I'm so happy to live in a country that just celebrated their 10-year anniversary of gay marriage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TornZero (Post 6860853)

They could get rid of the "mom and dad" thing altogether and call their parents by their first name. Or they could even both just be "Mom", or both "Dad".

That's not even that weird to me, I'm used to calling my mom and dad by their first names.. I suppose that would be the best solution, but calling them both Mom or Dad should work too.

Alice September 23rd, 2011 4:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pikapal642 (Post 6860866)


Lolwut? I mean, I am Christian, so of course I believe it could be possible, but I think there would probably be lots of other instances where this could happen, but as far as I know (which is admittedly little) this hasn't happened before sooooo, this isn't likely. XD

I'm a Christian too, and there's no way God did this, regardless of the reason. He does not do or create bad things, in fact, 9 times out of 10 he will bring as much good as possible out of bad things that happen. (At least, on a large scale, like 9/11 etc.)

So he would never create a storm, or kill people/animals over... well, anything. That's just my belief though, I guess it could be different in other denominations.

Hiidoran September 23rd, 2011 4:21 PM

My sister is actually gay as well and has a son. He's still pretty young, but he's always called my sister "mom" and her partner by her name. I mean, he knows his dad, so he knows the situation a little bit.

-Jared- September 23rd, 2011 4:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6860951)
I'm a Christian too, and there's no way God did this, regardless of the reason. He does not do or create bad things, in fact, 9 times out of 10 he will bring as much good as possible out of bad things that happen. (At least, on a large scale, like 9/11 etc.)

So he would never create a storm, or kill people/animals over... well, anything. That's just my belief though, I guess it could be different in other denominations.

Actually, I agree completely. All God does is use bad events to create good things. Although this is probably getting off topic a little, so...>__>

For same sex parents, I remember an episode of Law and Order had a child call her mothers "Mommy Jane" and "Mommy Clarice" (making up names here. XD). That would work, I think.

TornZero September 23rd, 2011 4:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlexOzzyCake (Post 6860870)
I have a friend who has two dads and he calls them by their first names. But he refuses to tell most people at school about this... It's a shame, they're perfectly lovely people, he's just embarrassed about them. He did have a mum till he was 10 though, so I suppose that could be something to do with it. Do you guys think it'd be harder to adapt to having two dads after years of having a mum, or do you think it doesn't make a difference?

I'd say it's difficult to adapt since you'd be accustomed to opposite-sex parents, but once you start to get used to it, it wouldn't be as hard.

Shining Raichu September 23rd, 2011 5:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6860951)
So he would never create a storm, or kill people

Bible says different lol.

Anyway, I watched that video and I have two words:

"Lol religion"

I try not to be that way, I try to be open-minded but then I see something like that and it just catapults me right back lol. I could not stop laughing the whole way through. That woman is ridiculous. I would go searching for a "Haters Gonna Hate" gif, but it's so ridiculous it's really not worth that, and y'all know how I feel about right-wing Christian nonsense anyway :P

As for the what do you call two same sex parents thing, I remember Ellen interviewing Wanda Sykes once and her saying that her kids call her and her wife "Mommy" and "Mama". Her wife is French which helps that but there is more than one way to say Mom.

Alice September 23rd, 2011 5:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6861028)
Bible says different lol.

I assume you're talking about the Great Flood. After that happened, God created rainbows as a promise that it would never happen again in the future. Things are just different now anyway. Back then he was very much a part of the everyday lives of people, but nowadays he can't do anything directly unless specifically asked to do it through prayer.

Nick September 23rd, 2011 5:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6861028)
Bible says different lol.

The bible is a conspiracy to overthrow the government and promote terrorism. I thought everyone knew this? Surely you of all people were aware of this, Andrew!

Nick September 23rd, 2011 5:45 PM

<script type="text/javascript">
var d=d. getSenseofHumorousIrony();


if (SenseofHumorousIrony=true)
{
post.write("OMG THAT'S SO FUNNY!!!");
}

else (SenseofHumorousIrony=false)
{
post.write("I think this comic strip might help explain what I think of the previous argument.

[IMG]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png[/IMG]

Now before this thread goes off in the wrong direction, lets just stop and carry on...

[B]It seems now people are starting to accept gay rights, gay marriage, etc, but it seems that it isn't not completely accept, and is not considered the norm. How do you feel about the world's current acceptance on the subject?[/B]");
}
</script>

-ty- September 23rd, 2011 5:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by U_Flame (Post 6860549)
Damns this place posts so often I can't keep up. ^_^;
So, how do kids with same sex parents address them? Mommy 1 and Mommy 2?

Well, think of other relatives that share similar titles.

Options for same title relatives:

1) Grandma/Nana and Grandpa/Papa
2) Uncle Mike/Uncle John
3) Todd/Emily (siblings)

Equivalent Options for same-sex parents:
1) Dad/Papa/Daddy and Mom, Mama, Ma, Nana, Mommy, Mum
2) Father John and Father Mike (this one doesn't bode well in my opinion unless you have priests/priestesses for parents, haha)
3) John/Mike and Jen/Sara

Option 1 seems like the best option. Allows creativity, but many couples find success in doing this without confusion.

Option 2 is bad!! haha

Option 3 is all right, but I don't think it is very interpersonal.

-Jared- September 23rd, 2011 5:48 PM

It seems now people are starting to accept gay rights, gay marriage, etc, but it seems that it isn't not completely accept, and is not considered the norm. How do you feel about the world's current acceptance on the subject?

Good enough to want to come out in real life. ^__^ I would still like to see it more accepted, to the point that this something I can just casually say it to a complete stranger, but as it is, I am glad we are where we are.

twistedpuppy September 23rd, 2011 6:18 PM

It seems now people are starting to accept gay rights, gay marriage, etc, but it seems that it isn't not completely accept, and is not considered the norm. How do you feel about the world's current acceptance on the subject?

It's not perfect, but it certainly has gotten a lot better considering the past millennium. Oh you wacky religions I feel we're closer to obtaining our rights but it'll still take some time to achieve our goals. Especially in countries where there are still laws severely punishing homosexuals and/or homosexual activity.

Shining Raichu September 24th, 2011 6:55 AM

lmao Nick, you can't go around saying things like that before there's enough of a following to believe it! It's just like when Dumbledore and Harry went around saying "Voldemort's back!" and noone believed them for like a year until they all saw him themselves.

It seems now people are starting to accept gay rights, gay marriage, etc, but it seems that it isn't not completely accept, and is not considered the norm. How do you feel about the world's current acceptance on the subject?

I think we have a long way to go but we are making leaps and bounds even in just recent years. I think the world is finally coming around and we really need to 'strike while the iron's hot' as they say.

Saturday's Child September 24th, 2011 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6861859)
It seems now people are starting to accept gay rights, gay marriage, etc, but it seems that it isn't not completely accept, and is not considered the norm. How do you feel about the world's current acceptance on the subject?

I think that many people are taking a good first step into accepting us as we are, and my prime example is when I came out to my best friend; he was surprised for a second, and after that he was totally cool with it. He was even sympathetic when he asked me what was bothering me when I was bummed while thinking about the fact that my crush is probably not gay. He treated it just like if it were a girl, and if my crush weren't one of his other close friends! I was just so jubilant when he was totally supporting, and that's how I feel the majority our generation is growing into society, with in accepting, but sometimes misunderstanding, of homosexuality and to an extent all other aspects of the LGBTQIPAAOS society. This may seem naive, but sometimes the world isn't as bad as it seems. :D

Snow Phoenix September 24th, 2011 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saturday's Child (Post 6862109)
I think that many people are taking a good first step into accepting us as we are, and my prime example is when I came out to my best friend; he was surprised for a second, and after that he was totally cool with it. He was even sympathetic when he asked me what was bothering me when I was bummed while thinking about the fact that my crush is probably not gay. He treated it just like if it were a girl, and if my crush weren't one of his other close friends! I was just so jubilant when he was totally supporting, and that's how I feel the majority our generation is growing into society, with in accepting, but sometimes misunderstanding, of homosexuality and to an extent all other aspects of the LGBTQIPAAOS society. This may seem naive, but sometimes the world isn't as bad as it seems. :D

SO CUTE <3 Gwaah. I wish I had friends like that -.- My friends were surprised because apparently I never even seemed close to the fence @[email protected] Or something like that. But, then they were just like... okay... and passed it off. I feel so unimportant ;.;

As for the topic... Well... I guess pretty much the same thing as everyone else o.o I've had an interesting experience with homosexuality. In my younger years it was just something that was brushed off and never spoken of. Then when I entered High School... I attended a weird charter school with a high population of homosexuals xD So I've never really seen any of the intollerance that everyone else has seen :x That's why my shades are colored in a particular light that makes it impossible for me to accurately judge, however, just from that alone... that would appear to mark a significant change o.o

Esper September 24th, 2011 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saturday's Child (Post 6862109)
I was just so jubilant when he was totally supporting, and that's how I feel the majority our generation is growing into society, with in accepting, but sometimes misunderstanding, of homosexuality and to an extent all other aspects of the LGBTQIPAAOS society. This may seem naive, but sometimes the world isn't as bad as it seems. :D

You know, this kind of makes me wonder. If, in the future, being queer isn't considered abnormal would we appreciate what it means to trust someone enough to come out to them, if we'd loose something in our ability to come out to someone in the face of adversity and uncertainty? I'm not saying I don't want us to have that kind of future, just that we've got a particular situation that sort of challenges us that maybe not everyone else has.

Shining Raichu September 25th, 2011 1:43 AM

That's an incredibly interesting point you bring up, Scarf. As stressful and horrible as it is to come out to people, it does indeed have that advantage. Once the adversity is stripped away, it may turn the future generations of minority sexuality people more superficial, because they haven't had to go through what we have. Though I do believe that the greatest luxury we have in life is the ability to be superficial and worry about petty things, so honestly, I can't wait for that future.

Impo September 25th, 2011 2:00 AM

I was mauling over a question that came into my head in the car ride home today, and I thought I could share it with you guys... if I can.

I assume that every here is for same-sex couples, but what about opposite-sex couples that are may carry some controversy. For example, people say we should be able to marry who ever we want, but is there boundaries on that matter?

I believe you can marry the same sex, god bless if you do. I don't think you should marry your parents, or family, I find that ...odd, to be honest. I saw an article in the paper about parents being in love with their children, and frankly it does strike me as odd. Also, couples that have quite a large age gap also strike me as ... odd, shall we say. Not that I'm telling you not to fall in love with someone who's older than you or family, I don't have that kind of authority.

So, if same sex marriage is okay, what are your views of relatives and people with large age gaps being in relationships (any sexual orientation)?

I understand my views may be deemed immoral, but I thought I would still speak them. please don't troll me
So, does anyone else have any thoughts on the matter?

Shining Raichu September 25th, 2011 2:44 AM

So, if same sex marriage is okay, what are your views of relatives and people with large age gaps being in relationships (any sexual orientation)?

Don't be so timid, Impo! This is a very good question!

My view on this is essentially the same view I carry about everything in life lol - everybody is too focused on what everybody else is doing. Everybody just needs to mind their own business, focus on what they're doing and leave everyone else alone. I also find it strange for somebody to marry one of their parents, but I would never dream of trying to stand in their way if that's what they want. My motto is to live in whatever way makes me happy, and not prevent others from doing the same.

In my mind, something is only immoral if it hurts somebody else. If they're not hurting anybody, what right do I have to pass judgment? It doesn't affect my life either way.

oocyst September 25th, 2011 7:43 AM

So, if same sex marriage is okay, what are your views of relatives and people with large age gaps being in relationships (any sexual orientation)?

I feel the same about this. It's not my life, so why should I care about it? As long as they're not hurting anyone and it's just two people in love then it's fine by me.

-Jared- September 25th, 2011 8:06 AM

So, if same sex marriage is okay, what are your views of relatives and people with large age gaps being in relationships (any sexual orientation)?

I am perfectly fine with large age gaps. assuming of course that one of them isn't under 18 or anything. >__>

But with familial relationships, the fact that genetically speaking, any child they have will most likely be born with birth defects or other disorders. If they didn't have children, then I wouldn't mind at all, but once they bring a child into the world, that is a person who didn't ask to b born, suffering from problems that their parents caused for them. So, I wouldn't necessarily do anything to oppose it, but I probably wouldn't do anything to support it, either. >__>

Just my opinion. I hope nobody takes offense to it...;-;

Blue Rose September 25th, 2011 11:37 AM

Hi, I'd love to join this thread. I don't know if I need to fill out anything in order to do so, but I assume not...?

So, if same sex marriage is okay, what are your views of relatives and people with large age gaps being in relationships (any sexual orientation)?

Both I'm fine with. Less so on the incest part, but that's due to my fear of birth defects that often are products of heterosexual relationships like those. However, I heard arguements that that's not actually true...but I seriously doubt that. Regardless, as long as both candidates are of age and are consenting, it shouldn't matter.

-ty- September 25th, 2011 2:45 PM

So, if same sex marriage is okay, what are your views of relatives and people with large age gaps being in relationships (any sexual orientation)?

If there are two consenting adults then I don't care who you are, because your marriage doesn't affect me, and there should not be any limits on who can be married as long as the two criterion are satisfied.

First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

FreakyLocz14 September 25th, 2011 3:00 PM

I personally wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone a lot older than me, with a relative, or with multiple people, but I would not limit the liberty of others who have different views and are consenting adults.

Esper September 25th, 2011 3:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Rose (Post 6863607)
Hi, I'd love to join this thread. I don't know if I need to fill out anything in order to do so, but I assume not...?

Everyone who wants to join just posts and you're automatically part of the club. So congrats!

First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

I think a lot of people kind of unconsciously let themselves fall into a more dominant or submissive role with their partner based on what kinds of personalities they have. Really, it's not a bad thing if it works for any two people. It can even be kind of freeing because it can cut down on arguments and problems because you each sort of fall into certain roles that work for you. Of course, if it gets to the point where someone doesn't want to be in one role then it starts to be a problem if the other person doesn't want to change. Like, if I were in a dominant position and started to feel like I didn't always want to be making decisions I'd hope that the person I was with would be okay with taking charge sometimes.

Alice September 25th, 2011 3:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6863832)
First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

Hmm... I've never really thought about it past sex. I guess I would expect us to be equal in all other matters. That's just what I would want though. If someone is more comfortable filling one of those roles, then that's fine. It's up to them.

I guess I don't really have an opinion on it. lol

FreakyLocz14 September 25th, 2011 3:11 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with conforming to traditional gender roles if both partners wish to do that.

Blue Rose September 25th, 2011 5:06 PM

First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

Lol, well in the end...somebody's got do it. Now, hopefully they can split it evenly so not one doesn't have to be the bearer of burdens in the relationship, and it shouldn't necessarily follow over based on who has what position in bed, it's entirely up to the couple themselves. But it's important that they recognize it early on.

deoxys121 September 25th, 2011 5:09 PM

Quote:

First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.
Well, I'm straight, so I don't know a lot about gay couple etiquette. But, as far as my girlfriend and I, we've both taken "top" and "bottom" roles, from each perspective that statement can be seen from.

TornZero September 25th, 2011 5:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6863832)
First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

I really have no trouble with this, though I would prefer my own partner and myself being more versatile with our activities, taking various responsibilities from both positions that suit us best.

Shining Raichu September 25th, 2011 6:35 PM

Welcome, Blue Rose!!

First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

I would expect total equality. Not to be too graphic, but sexually I am neither an exclusive top or bottom, and I would expect the same in the other aspects of the relationship. I would not want a dominant partner, nor would I want to dominate a partner. That said, I have zero cooking ability lol

EDIT: gdi I got ninja'd like 3 times in the time it took me to write and post this lol

Saturday's Child September 25th, 2011 7:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6863832)
First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

I feel that if a couple wants to assume "top" and "bottom" constant roles, then that's totally fine by me, but I wouldn't approve if they felt like they had to. I mean, if you want to be equal or switch up roles from time to time, go ahead. You don't have to conform to anything "traditional." Or anything, for that matter.

leo33wii September 25th, 2011 8:37 PM

could i join? i'm bisexual and in the army.

Shining Raichu September 25th, 2011 8:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leo33wii (Post 6864241)
could i join? i'm bisexual and in the army.

Absolutely you can join! Welcome!

Have you had any negative (or positive) experiences relating to your sexuality in your line of work?

Saturday's Child September 25th, 2011 9:30 PM

Okay, this might seem off-topic, and was probably brought up ages ago by someone else, and might seem a bit childish, but I have a question for all of you;

If you're gay/lesbian, have you ever had a crush and not known if they were gay/lesbian or straight (or someone had a crush on you and not known that you are gay/lesbian)? And if you're straight, has anyone gay/lesbian had a crush on you (or vice versa)? For both sides, how did you handle it?

I'm just curious. Also, I have a crush on this one guy...and it's weird, because I get mixed signals from him. I looked at him for a couple of seconds once, and when he looked at me, neither of us looked away for a considerable amount of time. And then another time, I was sitting by him in the cafeteria, and some girls came over and pretended to flirt with me to try to embarrass me (not knowing that I am gay), and one started to shove me away periodically. Now, my crush and I have a sort of small friendship, but this next thing was different; He called me stupid, playfully. I did the same back. And we went back and forth like this, how many times I don't know, all the while this girl behind me shoving me within inches of his face, of his eyes that had something different about them. They weren't fun and goofy; they looked more serious...more--greedy, maybe? Idk. :nervous: But that was just...electric. And when I rocked forward, he never pulled back...

EDIT: Of course, I am totally freaking out because I'm still unsure. It's not my life depending on this, but I just can't imagine him not liking me...but I can't imagine him liking me.

And if you don't want to answer, go ahead, not like you have to. Just asking. ;p

-ty- September 26th, 2011 7:38 AM

If you're gay/lesbian, have you ever had a crush and not known if they were gay/lesbian or straight (or someone had a crush on you and not known that you are gay/lesbian)? And if you're straight, has anyone gay/lesbian had a crush on you (or vice versa)? For both sides, how did you handle it?

I had several crushes, but they were mainly by appearance.
I was pretty sure that they were all straight, but you never know.
I think that you should never flirt with someone unless you know their sexuality. High school was interesting, since I was "straight" I didn't really think about acting on crushes, but I felt like a perv when I was on the basketball team, because I showered with all these guys that I thought were cute, lmao.

The one thing that I cannot stand is when gay guys think that you will sleep with them just because they know that your sexual orientation is the same as theirs. Sorry, but I have a lot of standards, and I don't do "hookups."

-Jared- September 26th, 2011 9:30 AM

If you're gay/lesbian, have you ever had a crush and not known if they were gay/lesbian or straight (or someone had a crush on you and not known that you are gay/lesbian)? And if you're straight, has anyone gay/lesbian had a crush on you (or vice versa)? For both sides, how did you handle it?

Yeah, mainly because in real life, I am still in the closet. :\ So yeah, there was a guy in high school that I had a crush on, but the only evidence in my favor here was that I wasn't sure if he had ever had a girlfriend, and THAT'S certainly not conclusive in any way. -__-But essentially, I handled it by keeping it to myself, and never tellling anyone. XD

Alice September 26th, 2011 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6864664)
but I felt like a perv when I was on the basketball team, because I showered with all these guys that I thought were cute, lmao.

Haha, that'd be kind of scary to me. Don't get caught looking. >.>

-ty- September 26th, 2011 4:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6864982)
Haha, that'd be kind of scary to me. Don't get caught looking. >.>

Nah I pretty much looked where ever with good peripherals. haha
But, the real challenge was not to indicate any signs of attraction...Need I explain? lol

I should have never came out, now I can't get away with anything :(
jk

Shining Raichu September 26th, 2011 5:17 PM

Haha a change room is the place I first figured out I was gay; it was lucky I didn't get caught looking or I would have been in massive trouble.

FreakyLocz14 September 26th, 2011 6:40 PM

Some guy said some homophobic things to me today.

I was wearing a sticker on my shirt that was of a rainbow-colored GOP elephant, so he called me a dike.

So, when was the last time someone made ignorant remarks directed at you?

Shining Raichu September 26th, 2011 6:43 PM

You should have smacked him with your fannypack and then kicked him with your sensible shoes.

FreakyLocz14 September 26th, 2011 6:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6865439)
You should have smacked him with your fannypack and then kicked him with your sensible shoes.

If he would have gotten physical, it would have been vey bad day for him because he did not know about my concealed carry permit.

I just flipped him off and said "[censored] you, you [censored] square."

Melody September 26th, 2011 7:19 PM

lol

One time a friend asked me "Why do you paint your nails" to which I simply replied "Because I'm that way." He immediately began reacting phobically, but I made it clear in no uncertain terms that I didn't chase straights. Probably a little roughly but still. :<

Alice September 26th, 2011 7:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6865451)
If he would have gotten physical, it would have been vey bad day for him because he did not know about my concealed carry permit.

I just flipped him off and said "[censored] you, you [censored] square."

What kind of weapon do you carry? Hopefully you're not actually able to fire a gun on campus.

Hiidoran September 26th, 2011 7:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6863832)
First off, this is not meant to be too explicit, but what do you guys think about gay couples and roles like "top" and "bottom"? Again, this is not exclusive to sex, but beyond that the relationship roles like who pays for dinner, who cooks, who proposes and who cleans.

Felt I had to answer this one because I find myself thinking about it all the time...

Honestly, I always imagined my future relationships would be versatile. I just thought it was a more modern idea to not fall into adopting these roles. I like to consider myself a progressive person, and keeping with that, it just didn't seem like maintaining "gender" roles in a homosexual relationship was a step forward. However... I've fallen into it all the same. Whenever I'm out with my boyfriend... it's very rare for me to pay for anything. I usually make him make decisions, and he's usually the one who initiates affection. That is, he's pretty much a top. Although I won't get into bedroom rules, let me just say they don't follow this...

But perhaps I think about it too much. Yeah, most would say he looks more domineering than me based on outward appearances, but I'm thinkin' age and income might certainly be a factor here. I'm beginning to think he pays, and won't let me when I offer, because he's older than me... and he's aware of how much less money I make. Plus, he does try and get me to make decisions all the time... though we just end up sitting there. Haha. Still, it's an interesting thing to stop and think about. Never imagined myself as a bottom...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saturday's Child (Post 6864270)
If you're gay/lesbian, have you ever had a crush and not known if they were gay/lesbian or straight (or someone had a crush on you and not known that you are gay/lesbian)? And if you're straight, has anyone gay/lesbian had a crush on you (or vice versa)? For both sides, how did you handle it?

Yeeeeeah... and it broke my heart. I'm honestly still not sure whether the flirting and compliments were genuine or just said person trying to be a good friend... and they went on for a long while. I mean, it's not like I didn't have pretty good evidence to believe they might have been interested in me, but most of it could just be considered hearsay now... and the rest could be taken ambiguously. Besides, if he was, I feel he would never come out enough to date another man. Knowing his personality, that just doesn't seem like a possibility.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6865451)
I just flipped him off and said "[censored] you, you [censored] square."

Just wanna say that "square" is like my new favorite insult. I wish people around here would say it more often.

Sydian September 26th, 2011 7:28 PM

Quote:

I'm just curious. Also, I have a crush on this one guy...and it's weird, because I get mixed signals from him. I looked at him for a couple of seconds once, and when he looked at me, neither of us looked away for a considerable amount of time. And then another time, I was sitting by him in the cafeteria, and some girls came over and pretended to flirt with me to try to embarrass me (not knowing that I am gay), and one started to shove me away periodically. Now, my crush and I have a sort of small friendship, but this next thing was different; He called me stupid, playfully. I did the same back. And we went back and forth like this, how many times I don't know, all the while this girl behind me shoving me within inches of his face, of his eyes that had something different about them. They weren't fun and goofy; they looked more serious...more--greedy, maybe? Idk. But that was just...electric. And when I rocked forward, he never pulled back...
that is so cute haha

If you're gay/lesbian, have you ever had a crush and not known if they were gay/lesbian or straight (or someone had a crush on you and not known that you are gay/lesbian)? And if you're straight, has anyone gay/lesbian had a crush on you (or vice versa)? For both sides, how did you handle it?

Uhhh I don't think anyone has had a crush on me and been disappointed b-- OH WAIT. I know someone that liked me and was disheartened by ~something~ about me. lol And I had a huge crush on someone that didn't swing my way. I didn't even know they were gay til like, they got a bf and came out to me. lol Everything is all good with me and said person now though, if not better. :)

Quote:

Yeeeeeah... and it broke my heart. I'm honestly still not sure whether the flirting and compliments were genuine or just said person trying to be a good friend... and they went on for a long while. I mean, it's not like I didn't have pretty good evidence to believe they might have been interested in me, but most of it could just be considered hearsay now... and the rest could be taken ambiguously. Besides, if he was, I feel he would never come out enough to date another man. Knowing his personality, that just doesn't seem like a possibility.
don't get me started ugh. btw, "square" is not going to catch on, I'm sorry.

Also UMMM YUMMM are we talking about looking at men in the dressing room? n___n jk I don't like looking at all that junk. I'm weird. :(

Hiidoran September 26th, 2011 7:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydian (Post 6865487)
Also UMMM YUMMM are we talking about looking at men in the dressing room? n___n jk I don't like looking at all that junk. I'm weird. :(

I, um, can't help myself from looking sometimes...

I try to be respectful! But the locker room at the gym... D;

Sydian September 26th, 2011 7:36 PM

at least you have a place to look!! it's not like i get to. ~_~ WELL TBQH. on hot days at band practice, the view is nice, especially in the saxophone section. ;)

Alice September 26th, 2011 7:43 PM

I've never been on a sports team or anything, so I've never had such an opportunity... Maybe I should join the swimming team in college. :P

-Jared- September 26th, 2011 7:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6865434)
So, wehn is the last time someone made ignorant remarks directed at you?

Well, I heard about some comments that in a sense were directed at me, but not directly, and more to a group of people that I am a part of, so I hope this qualifies as "on topic" lol. XD

Anyways, in order to understand this, you need just a little background info. My church is Lutheran church, in the ELCA denomination. That is the Lutheran denomination that recently voted to allow gay people to become pastors. Soon after, a large chunk of our members left the church, dissatisfied with the decision.

Then, we had the option of hiring a local gay man to be an unofficial, temporary lay minister to help tide us over until we got an official pastor. I am on the church council, so I was involved in the decision to hire him or not. We decided against hiring him, since he has, in the past, lambasted our church in the paper, so we feared more retaliation in case something went wrong.

So, there was this one time in church where we didn't have a pastor to preach one Sunday, so this one other guy in our congregation essentially volunteered to do it. Well, when he got to the sermon, instead of an informative message, it was essentially a hate filled speech about how all the people in our church were homophobes. Never mind the fact that everyone who was left at this time actually stayed BECAUSE they agreed with the Synod's decision.

And I am a member of this church. SO yeah, I am TOTALLY homophobic. >__<

And I ended up with a rant. Sorry about that. >__>

Alice September 26th, 2011 7:51 PM

I love how as soon as we started talking about looking at guys we got a ton of posts. lol

Quote:

So, when is the last time someone made ignorant remarks directed at you?
Well, it wasn't directed at me, but I was playing Guild Wars a few days ago, and a girl mentioned that she was bi, and 3 of the guys there said "That's hot" or something along those lines, and the other said "Why are you bi? That's weird." and made some stupid joke about doing both sexes at once.

After hearing that, I mentioned that I was bi, and as I expected, they didn't think it was so hot. To them a girl being bi just means she's willing to have a threesome.

Meh, not that big of a deal, but it was actually the only thing I could think of. lol

Sydian September 26th, 2011 8:02 PM

So, when is the last time someone made ignorant remarks directed at you?

Oh I didn't know this was a for real topic lol. It's not the latest remark that's been made towards me, but in 6th grade, I was at a new school and I only had one friend (who I had known because her grandmother lived across from mine so yeah) who was a girl. And people would accuse me of being a lesbian all the time. And this one thing sticks out to me all the time. But I was trying to read some girl's shirt, but she was far away and I mean I'm only 11 so it's not like I thought to be discreet about it or anything, so I squinted and it was OBVIOUS I was concentrating on something, and she was accusing me of staring at her boobs when I was reading her shirt. v__v; And of course she did it loudly so everyone looked at me like a freak. I went to the bathroom for a while and ripped up paper towels to vent, lol.

FreakyLocz14 September 26th, 2011 8:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6865478)
What kind of weapon do you carry? Hopefully you're not actually able to fire a gun on campus.

Smith and Wesson 9mm pistol

I can fire it if it is in legitmate self-defense or defense of another. I would also have to give at lewst two warnings: one alerting the assailant that I am armed, and firing a warning shot before shooting the assailant (unless the threat is so immediate that it is unreasonable to do so). For safety, a locking mechanism must be used or the weapon must be unloaded, but ammunition may be carried fr quick access if it is needed for self-defense. You must also shoot below the waist.

Shining Raichu September 26th, 2011 8:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hiidoran (Post 6865491)
I, um, can't help myself from looking sometimes...

I was like 13 when this was an issue for me, and it wasn't so much my eyes I was worried about them seeing when I was perving on them lol.

One thing is for certain: being gay is far easier after you finish high school. In so many ways

Alice September 26th, 2011 8:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6865543)
Smith and Wesson 9mm pistol

I can fire it if it is in legitmate self-defense or defense of another. I would also have to give at lewst two warnings: one alerting the assailant that I am armed, and firing a warning shot before shooting the assailant (unless the threat is so immediate that it is unreasonable to do so).

I'm amazed that that's actually possible in a school. I would understand something like pepper spray, or maybe even a tazer, but not a gun. (I know I was around when you were talking about passing this, but still gun + school does not add up to me.)

Also, 1000th post in this thread. :D

FreakyLocz14 September 26th, 2011 8:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6865556)
I'm amazed that that's actually possible in a school. I would understand something like pepper spray, or maybe even a tazer, but not a gun. (I know I was around when you were talking about passing this, but still gun + school does not add up to me.)

Also, 1000th post in this thread. :D

The bill we passed hasn't been overturned by high authorities... yet. I'm pessimistic that it will eventually.

Alice September 26th, 2011 8:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6865559)
The bill we passed hasn't been overturned by high authorities... yet. I'm pessimistic that it will eventually.

It may take someone actually getting killed on campus for that to happen.

Melody September 26th, 2011 9:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6865513)
I love how as soon as we started talking about looking at guys we got a ton of posts. lol


Well, it wasn't directed at me, but I was playing Guild Wars a few days ago, and a girl mentioned that she was bi, and 3 of the guys there said "That's hot" or something along those lines, and the other said "Why are you bi? That's weird." and made some stupid joke about doing both sexes at once.

After hearing that, I mentioned that I was bi, and as I expected, they didn't think it was so hot. To them a girl being bi just means she's willing to have a threesome.

Meh, not that big of a deal, but it was actually the only thing I could think of. lol

Ok I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I find it hard to take it seriously when an actual girl claims she's bi because of that. XD

That doesn't mean girls can't be Bi, it's just a stereotype of being bi. :<

Alice September 26th, 2011 9:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pachy (Post 6865575)


Ok I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I find it hard to take it seriously when an actual girl claims she's bi because of that. XD

That doesn't mean girls can't be Bi, it's just a stereotype of being bi. :<

I doubt it was a girl anyway. Guys do that all the time to troll or get free items. lol

Heck, I practically had a mini-relationship with a guy on that game, when I was like 13, to get stuff... and I've played female characters ever since. lol

-ty- September 26th, 2011 9:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6865434)
Some guy said some homophobic things to me today.

I was wearing a sticker on my shirt that was of a rainbow-colored GOP elephant, so he called me a dike.

So, when was the last time someone made ignorant remarks directed at you?

I hate that. Heterosexual people often do not want to support LBGT rights because of the backlash. I just want to let you know that I am glad that there are people like you that exist. Gay people cannot be accepted by alienating themselves from the rest of society (straight people). Without support from straight people as yourself, would not be able to be incorporated. I loathe that you should have to put up with that.


The last remark that I really remember, was when I hugged my ex. His cousin said, that it was the most disgusting thing he had ever saw. Then he wanted to fight me; I met him 3 minutes prior (I will spare you the whole story after that). I really don't get it. But I am from the redneck capital of the world, lol.

aRedMoon September 26th, 2011 10:07 PM

So.

Who else just hates the feeling that you get when the guy (or, for our lesbian friends, girl) you have been crushing forever decides to rant about their opposite sex love interests to you?

._.

Shining Raichu September 27th, 2011 2:38 AM

Haha, it's no better than when they rant about their same-sex love interests to you. It might even be worse, knowing that you could have a shot but don't.

Squirrel September 27th, 2011 6:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aRedMoon (Post 6865619)
So.

Who else just hates the feeling that you get when the guy (or, for our lesbian friends, girl) you have been crushing forever decides to rant about their opposite sex love interests to you?

._.

Ahah, ohhh yes. But we can still hold out hope..! I agree with Raichu though, at least they're not talking about same sex crushes - that way it's because of you rather than because of their sexuality. :/

Sydian September 27th, 2011 6:57 AM

Quote:

So.

Who else just hates the feeling that you get when the guy (or, for our lesbian friends, girl) you have been crushing forever decides to rant about their opposite sex love interests to you?

._.
Bahaha. Any of my love interests in general, I do NOT want to hear about who they like! idk if anyone else gets this way, but I don't really cry about things anymore. I just get really, really sick. I've vomited because of stuff like that. :| I just don't wanna hear it. But at the same time, I'm one of those people that tend to like my best friends, so v___v; As much as I don't want to hear it, I'm compelled to. Otherwise I'm being a bad friend, ya know? But yeah, I think we can all agree here, gay or straight, we just don't wanna hear about that haha.

Quote:

I hate that. Heterosexual people often do not want to support LBGT rights because of the backlash. I just want to let you know that I am glad that there are people like you that exist. Gay people cannot be accepted by alienating themselves from the rest of society (straight people). Without support from straight people as yourself, would not be able to be incorporated. I loathe that you should have to put up with that.
The backlash eh...I haven't dealt with it too much, other than being alienated and people thinking I'm gay because I support it. That's like saying if I was alive back when African Americans were slaves and I supported their emancipation, then OBVIOUSLY I must be black! (Maybe that was the wrong example but YOU KNOW!)

Ctrl.Alt.Geak September 27th, 2011 7:51 AM

By god it feels like I've been gone for quite a while
I still want to throw in my answer though.
Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6864664)
If you're gay/lesbian, have you ever had a crush and not known if they were gay/lesbian or straight (or someone had a crush on you and not known that you are gay/lesbian)? And if you're straight, has anyone gay/lesbian had a crush on you (or vice versa)? For both sides, how did you handle it?

I did crush on someone who I didnt know their orientation at the time, I found out in the end though when they began to talking about the who they are crushing on (gutted!). I have a few people crush on me too though who didnt know I am gay, it really did not end well for one of them which I find really quite sad. Thats life though I guess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6864664)
but I felt like a perv when I was on the basketball team, because I showered with all these guys that I thought were cute, lmao.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who did this. In that situation I always thought I was pretty disgusting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aRedMoon (Post 6865619)
So.

Who else just hates the feeling that you get when the guy (or, for our lesbian friends, girl) you have been crushing forever decides to rant about their opposite sex love interests to you?

._.

I concur. It especially doesnt help when they seem to have a new love-interest for every season. I guess I should be thankful to at least spend the time with them.

Sydian September 27th, 2011 2:31 PM

Have you ever been the 'Gay Best Friend'?

YES ODDLY ENOUGH. My best friend thinks I am secretly a gay black man, namely Kingsley from YouTube. He seems to be quite convinced. Coincidentally, my gay best friend is around here somewhere. And he is probably embarrassed by this post now<3

Kura September 27th, 2011 2:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6866345)
I used to play for a basketball team, but everyone on my team were annoying idiots so I didn't really like them as friends or anything else.

and can I ask anyone here who is male and homosexual, Have you ever been the 'Gay Best Friend'?

I'm closeted, but one of my friends keeps nagging me, saying that she thinks I'm gay (is it that obvious?). Anyway, she practically begged me to be gay so we could be gay best friends. She moved schools, so that's over with, but I don't think she would have got what she expected. For starters, I hate shopping.

I think that's really superficial.. you're either friends or your not.. being gay shouldn't have anything to do with it unless they're wanting to take that friendship to the relationship level.
>_> Why would you want to be labelled anyways? I thought we were moving away from that.

Sydian September 27th, 2011 3:25 PM

Quote:

I think that's really superficial.. you're either friends or your not.. being gay shouldn't have anything to do with it unless they're wanting to take that friendship to the relationship level.
>_> Why would you want to be labelled anyways? I thought we were moving away from that.
You say that like it's a terrible thing or something. I don't see why you have to make it a big deal. I don't think it bothers gay men to be the "gay best friend." It's like being the token black guy, or the Jew of the group, etc. It's not meant to be offensive. Just one of those terms that use stereotypes in a funny way, not offensive way. Like learning to laugh at yourself. That's just what I think though. I can't speak for everyone. But you seemed to overreact at the term.

Alice September 27th, 2011 3:44 PM

I think people generally don't like it when you make assumptions about them based on stereotypes. If you don't fit that stereotype, then someone trying to treat you like that may be really annoying.

Shining Raichu September 27th, 2011 3:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ctrl.Alt.Geak
In that situation I always thought I was pretty disgusting.

Haha aww, you shouldn't feel disgusting. It's normal, everybody perves lol

Have you ever been the 'Gay Best Friend'?
Good question! No, I haven't, myself. I don't think I'd like to be either, it's just not really the sort of person I am. What Kura said is technically true I guess, but the term 'gay best friend' is one of those more fun affectionate labels that doesn't really mean any harm. I wouldn't be offended if someone called me their gay best friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo
one of my friends keeps nagging me, saying that she thinks I'm gay (is it that obvious?)

I wouldn't stress too much about this if I were you. I doubt that it's anything you're doing that makes her pick up on the fact that you're gay. If you're more comfortable staying closeted for now, don't come out just for fear that everybody knows anyway (although coming out is something that's of course recommended :P)

I went through the same thing. I'm not an effeminate person, and before I came out I had everybody fooled except for one friend who made it clear that she knew and was waiting for my 'gay confession'. I think some people just have an impossibly fine-tuned gaydar and could pick up on things that normal people cannot. So don't worry, I doubt you're being obvious, it's more likely her than you lol

Hiidoran September 27th, 2011 3:56 PM

I can see where both Kura and Syd are coming from.

Yeah, no, I'm not your "gay best friend." I'm your best friend who just-so-happens to be gay. I don't really like labels like that, honestly. HOWEVER, I understand we sometimes need to take things halfheartedly. Like Syd said, it's just a moment where you play into the stereotype a bit; it's term made out of friendship, not of discrimination.

Does that mean I'm gonna go shopping with you and gossip about our friends in a sassy demeanor? Probably not. For one, I know nothing of women's clothing. You don't want me along... I'll get bored... :]

But to answer the question, yes, I've been the "gay best friend." Both online and offline. Haha.

Sydian September 27th, 2011 4:07 PM

Quote:

I went through the same thing. I'm not an effeminate person, and before I came out I had everybody fooled except for one friend who made it clear that she knew and was waiting for my 'gay confession'. I think some people just have an impossibly fine-tuned gaydar and could pick up on things that normal people cannot. So don't worry, I doubt you're being obvious, it's more likely her than you lol
I have a terrible gaydar. v_v There can be a guy doing the most stereotypically gay thing ever and I will still assume otherwise. We had a guy on colorguard/danceline at my old high school, and people would make fun of him and call him gay and I would defend him and be like "just because he's on guard doesn't make him gay" but lol he was gay so I'm silly. :<

Quote:

Does that mean I'm gonna go shopping with you and gossip about our friends in a sassy demeanor? Probably not. For one, I know nothing of women's clothing. You don't want me along... I'll get bored... :]
Um excuse me Larry, what did we JUST get done with the other night? Well we weren't shopping but the sassy gossip we were all on that. :| hmph.

Quote:

Yeah, no, I'm not your "gay best friend." I'm your best friend who just-so-happens to be gay.
Wife.

Kura September 27th, 2011 5:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sydian (Post 6866428)


You say that like it's a terrible thing or something. I don't see why you have to make it a big deal. I don't think it bothers gay men to be the "gay best friend." It's like being the token black guy, or the Jew of the group, etc. It's not meant to be offensive. Just one of those terms that use stereotypes in a funny way, not offensive way. Like learning to laugh at yourself. That's just what I think though. I can't speak for everyone. But you seemed to overreact at the term.

Oh! It's certainly NOT a bad thing within the lines of friendship- however it IS a bad thing when others outside that friendship catch on and want to discriminate for it. :/ It's a sad thing to see and it happens often when people want to see you as "the GAY friend" instead of just "the friend." I don't think that should stop ANYONE from having fun and wanting to label themselves as a lighthearted thing.. but I can also understand that others may want to take it the wrong way... soo.. one way to deal with it is to just be yourself.. :3 being gay is certainly part of your identity but there is no need to deliberately publicize it unless you are ready to deal with the negativity that may come from it. (publicize= different than coming out of the closet)

All in all no one wants it to be a hurtful thing. Right? ;o;

Ctrl.Alt.Geak September 27th, 2011 6:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6866345)
Have you ever been the 'Gay Best Friend'?

I'm too am closeted myself, so I dont really think I can qualitfy, but whenever my best friend had LGBT related questions she would only ever come to me to ask. I dunno maybe she was onto me haha.

Oryx September 29th, 2011 10:51 AM

I was just sitting in the student center and saw a news clip about an app that's now out on the Android market: "Is My Son Gay?"

Quote:

The app itself is a 20-question survey of "Yes" or "No" questions designed to identify your son's sexual preference. Via rue89, and translated into English by resident HuffPost French speaker Alice Hines, these questions are:

Spoiler:
1. Does he like to dress up nicely? Does he pay close attention to his outfits and brand names?

2. Does he like football?

3. Before he was born did you wish he would be a girl?

4. Has he ever gotten into or participated in a fight?

5. Does he read sports magazines?

6. Does he have a best friend

7. Does he like team sports?

8. Is he prudish/modest?

9. Does he like diva singers?

10. Does he spend a long time in the bathroom

11. Does he have a tongue, nose or ear piercing

12. Does he spend time getting ready before being seen in public?

13. Have you asked yourself questions about your son's sexual orientation?

14. Are you divorced?

15. Does he like musical comedies?

16. Has he introduced you to a girlfriend ever?

17. Is the father (you) very strict or authoritarian with his son?

18. In your family is the father absent?

19. Was he shy as a child?

20. Is he close to his father?

Source

I like how if you wanted a girl before he was born that affects his sexuality. e___e;

U.Flame September 29th, 2011 11:21 AM

Those stereotype questions are messed up. Nobody can determine sexuality by behaviour. Only when they actually fall in love. Besides, why wouldn't they just ask their son? Things like this piss me off!


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