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I kind of owe my current life to Grindr. I'm sitting here in my nice apartment with two gay roommates all thanks to the magic that is Grindr. Without it I'd still be sitting at Mum's house waiting for some opportunity to find me instead of going out and seeking one.
And if my roommate would have just said yes, I could have said "I found my boyfriend on Grindr" too :P |
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Sooooo. Grindr and I don't really like each other xD |
My experience on both Grindr and Jack'd (the only two gay networking apps on my phone) haven't been the best. They've made me a little hesitant when it comes to the dating scene. I know some have had a good experience on them, which I was hoping would happen to me too, but it hasn't.. at least not yet lol. There seems to be two sets of people on the apps (at least from what I've experienced).. those who just want one-night stands, or those who really are sincere, but won't really continue any conversation you have with them. You ask them open-ended questions but the conversation ends up becoming very narrow. :\ It sucks for me especially because I'm already very introverted as it is. Obviously this isn't always the case with everyone on there, but I'm just some speaking from what I've experiened. GAHHHHH. I just want a LTR. Is that so hard to ask for? lol
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It's def too much to ask for these days I guess :( Just a PokéCommunity observation I'd like to make! I was so impressed by the option of genderqueer on gender! It really made me feel that much more comfortable knowing that this must be a very accepting site when I first registered! So kudos to PokéCommunity!:D |
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Also, PC is very LGBT friendly if anyone hasn't noticed yet, so yay? :D <3 |
I should really post more in here.
Anyways, as many of you here may not know, I'm trans (MtF, pre-everything). Even though I'm not transitioning at the moment (I'm too much of a wuss to outright tell my mother), I've been doing various things over the past six or seven years to help me look more girly. I've grown my hair out (and it's now currently just past my shoulders due to donating much of it some time ago), I stopped a nasty nail-biting habit by way of painting and filing, and I was blessed with a generally feminine figure. Today was the best of these past years, between school troubles and my mother's emotional abuse, as I got ma'am'd, even while dressed in cargo pants and a loose T-shirt. I couldn't be happier, for hopefully obvious reasons, and now my mother is confused as to why I don't mind being called a girl. She's started making jokes (after a short insistence that I shouldn't feel complimented over being called a girl), but not in a mean manner. I feel like I should be able to tell her soon, but I still can't find the courage necessary to do so without breaking down since her reaction is too unpredictable. T_T |
Songbird, I know how it is. I waited until I was 26 to come out to my parents because I was a giant coward. Telling my parents was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life thus far. Here's the thing, though: waiting doesn't make it any easier and there's no such thing as waiting for a "good time." Eventually you'll realize that you need to just bite the bullet and go for it. Here's the unfortunate thing: when someone is just homosexual, they don't have a time limit but trans people do. Every single day that goes by, hormones do more irreversible damage. It sucks, but it's the truth.
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I wouldn't call it damage though. People aren't usually ready, although you will never be ready.
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It is damage. It can kill how you feel about your body when you finally decide to take action you may be happy with the results, but there could be regret of not starting sooner. I'm nineteen and I dunno how hormones were to me. My voice is rather deep (though noted as attractive by some), shoulders are kinda broad, and my hands/feet are pretty big. Right now all I can do is save what there is left to save (though it is a bit), which is a bummer. So yeah, it pretty much is damage.
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Most people, regardless of their sexual identities, don't have control over the way they look. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, but it is great power to have such a will to define your physical form. Most people won't even go there. I think it's a certain privilege to say that x body part is flawed and then go to say this is how it "should" look.
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It's not to say that certain types of bodies are flawed, but that there are certain body traits (shape and size of shoulders, hands, hips, etc.) that are big identifiers of masculinity or femininity. A transwoman isn't saying that women can't have any facial hair (which, for the record, most women have to some degree), but that they don't want facial hair for themselves as it is a sign of maleness.
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I'd definitely consider certain parts of being a man along the lines of damage, such as in terms of growth. Through hormone replacement therapy, some parts of a man's body is feminized. Fat and muscle will readjust themselves; skin will become softer; body hair will start growing thinner and less noticeable, though it will still take a procedure like electrolysis to get rid of it for good; their body in general will become more sensitive and feminine. Hormones can do quite a bit given time and dedication.
However, HRT isn't a miracle cure, just like sex reassignment surgery. A couple things about being a man are completely irreversible, at least without surgery (penis notwithstanding), and can be crucial to being seen as either a woman or a man as it's not how most women would ever develop. This is especially true for transwomen, as transmen typically only have to worry about a mastectomy and such.
To rectify these issues, some transwomen go through facial feminization surgeries and vocal training; transmen grow into these through testosterone's influence. They can also get a tracheal shave if their practiced voice isn't convincing, or they just want their neck to bulge less, but this is still a rather unsafe procedure, and can have permanently damaging effects on their throat and voice alike. |
Anyone else feeling lonely lately?? :(
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Sort of. I mean, my interest in wanting a relationships kinda fluctuates. I don't get real lonely though, being quite an introvert and all.
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I wish I could snuggle my lady >__< She is so beautiful. I hope I can visit her next summer, or as early as spring. If my parents will let me... e__e
I dunno if I'd say I'm lonely exactly, just...wanting to be near! |
I for one think that everyone should be self-sufficient/independent and have realistic direction in life (not become a rockstar or live on disability), that is, know what their aspirations, and some, even if they are vague, goals in life, prior to starting a serious relationship.
I for one am not into the whole ephemeral relationships that are carefree and artificial "love yas" are thrown out there the entire month, if that, the relationship lasts. Though, these types of artificial relationships may last much longer, and that it especially why, for those who don't want this, to establish themselves in the ways described above to avoid being stuck in a one of these! Also, never date out of loneliness, that is another sure-fire way to end up here! I am enjoying my two-year hiatus from dating, as of this month, and I feel as if I am more able to establish and accomplish my goals without having to deal with another person. This time in my life is about me, only. I would suggest others do the same at this juncture, assuming you are just a few years out of high school. Though, I totally get what you guys are talking about. Having that physical contact with another person is a great and comforting feeling. I just know it's best not to rely on someone else for my happiness just yet. Though, the time is getting there. I will be ready by April, graduation. Classes started today, and the thought of graduating and moving has just become so much more real. I have devoloped this mindset over the duration of the past two year, and it's just a few more months, 8 or so, until I will be ready for a commitment, after diving back into the whole dating thing. The prospect is exciting. I have realized, it's not about raising your standards in those you date; rather, it's about raising the standards of ourselves first, and dating someone we feel that we deserve. I had a lower opinion of myself then, and dated accordingly, to what I thought that I deserved; though he was attractive, everything else was abysmal! So, that would be my ultimate advice. Date someone you feel like you deserve, and make yourself more deserving! |
May I join? I'm pro LGBTS all the way. I'm a heterosexual male but can't find myself romantically right now. Well, I'm not sure of anything right now.
BTW, after reading, reading a lot xD, back in the thread I've concluded that you are all very intelligent, I' ve seen very intelligent discussions and arguments. Hopefully I can get some help here and help others as well. :) |
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I knew/dated my current boyfriend for about a month before we were 'in a relationship' and now, 7 months later, we still are. Meanwhile, my friends who rushed too quickly are now doubting themselves. One lasted two months and the other got to about five. Of course, everyone is different with that they want in a relationship (or if they want one at all) but I think there is way too much pressure to label someone your boyfriend/girlfriend preemptively... which can just lead to disappointment. Welcome Omicron! :D |
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And I love yous are fine, you just need to get to a point where you mean it. |
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Heck, I know a few people in their 20s and 30s who still don't have their futures figured out and are having dating issues because of it. |
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Hi, I was wondering if I can join this club. Been looking at it on and off for a while. I support and all for it. I'm not sure I'm heterosexual but anything can be possible. (Though always been heterosexual ) But I like to chat here and meet others. I love helping and I care for others a lot. Nice meeting you all. :)
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I'm seriously starting to think I overestimated that puddle earlier. >:\
ANYWHO Question for people that now live in areas that allow gay marriage. My state, Minnesota, just legalized gay marriage, with the starting date August first. How has allowing gay marriage effected the LGBT community in your area? Are people being more open? Because I'm sort of noticing that. People are being way more open with their orientation, I mean, someone flirted with me at the grocery store, and I'm pretty sure I've seen that woman before, since I go to the same store every week. She must live in the area. Just something tells me that she would not have done that a month ago. Quote:
Welcome to the club, Shining will now sing you the theme song. *waits* |
We have a theme song? o.O I've never had anybody flirt at me before :\ dunno what that feels like :P
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I've been lurking for a while now without posting but I felt the necessity.
Our theme-song; |
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I'm still confused as to which areas allow gay marriage and which areas don't, it's all happening so fast! I actually had a gay marriage discussion with a friend of mine. He said he doesn't have anything against gays but is against gay marriage for complicated reasons. Basically, he thinks it will result in a population decrease. I believe marriage is just a title and won't affect the number of homosexuals nor the amount of couples that want children. There's no reason it shouldn't be legalized.
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Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D. |
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That's what I would say anyway. |
I just... don't understand. The mind boggles so much that Australia wants Tony Abbott. They all know he's mad as a cut snake, it's ridiculous. There is no alternative so bad that Tony Abbott is the correct option. The worst part of it is that Kevin Rudd finally changed his position on gay marriage, just when it was too late.
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Come to Canada, bro. We're pretty much the same country - Anglo, immigrants, population, economy, huge amounts of territory where nobody lives, the natives we forget about, proud military traditions, and plenty of uranium! Same-sex marriage included.
----- So I'm cruising along the internet and PC and find myself on r/genderqueer. Then I read this: Quote:
rant over. More serious and controversial question: We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people? If not - when is it appropriate not to take someone seriously? I know this is a touchy subject for those of us personally invested, but it's not targeted at anybody in particular and if we can agree "all" is an overstatement, is it wrong to doubt the others? http://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/1lqfqj/so_theres_nothing_wrong_with_me_after_all/ |
I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.
I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support. Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o |
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For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made. Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter. Did that even make sense?... |
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You mentioned that you know gay people who claim to be bi, well I know straight people that claim to be bi or even gay to get attention. (In my opinion these people are sick, but I digress) There are cliques where being gay is interpreted as not really cool, but attention grabbing. Where people see you as different and want to cling to you because they think its cool. Part of this is why when I told my mother I was questioning, she asked if it was someone elses' influence. She said I was just saying it because so and so was doing it. Every situation is different though. But support is what everyone needs. Encouragement, discouragement... they make it sound like there's an option, like they're making a choice on whether to try out for the 'insert sport' team. You need to support them, not their change. Don't point out there differences, they are who they are, they are just discovering who they are. Speaking of discovering. So... My heads a bit swirly right now. Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it. But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap. And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's. Demi romantic kept coming up. Anyone willing to offer assistance? |
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At first, I thought I was straight, then realized I was gay, then I decided that I'm probably just bi, then realized I must be homoromantic polysexual gynephiliac, who's actual preference changes every few months. I think you can see why I stopped trying. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's how I'm dealing with the exact same situation. I also have Asperger's as well, although I don't know if that has anything to do with it. This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it. |
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Though demiromantic seems to be the answer... this week. >:/ |
I'll butt into this conversation as well.
Being a gay man with virtually zero sexual attraction to women whatsoever. Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those. The hypocrisy of it all for gay individuals that harbor this sentiment against bisexuals, "how could a person possibly be attracted to both genders" is that these sort of sentiments mirror ignorant comments about homosexuality. For instance, a good number of people still believe that being gay is a choice of lifestyle, when, in most cases, it is an inherent quality of which the only choice is either to suppress the quality or not. Essentially, like a straight person choosing to suppress their attraction for the opposite sex in place of someone of the same sex. We don't see many straight people making that choice now do we? (Though, there is always the exception) The only sexual identification I sometimes question the intentions are for those that claim to be panromantic while simultaneous not being pansexual or asexual. For instance, if someone is only sexually attracted to men, I am not quite convinced that dating a woman is good for either person in the relationship. So, this criticism is not coming from a place of disgust or condemnation, but rather, as a voice of concern that the implication of this behavior engenders needless disappointment and hurt feelings. Though, it is troubling and even frustrating to an extent when people want to be different or stand out by being a sexual minority when it's not completely genuine, like my cousin who is a die-hard liberal stating, "Oh, I was very moved by Brokeback Mountain...now I'd really be interested in trying out being a lesbian." (Might I add, she is a 30-year-old grown woman). I really think many of these people just don't understand the complexities of sexuality, even if they are extremely tolerant and accepting of others. So no, I don't harbor disgust for those that falsely represent their sexuality, rather it's just a nuisance. I will most likely ignore this behavior or gently advise them to reconsider how their actions affect others, especially those that they are romantically involved with on a false pretense if I know the person well enough. |
Ehh, nuisance, disgust, tomato, tomato. I feel you.
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Honestly I take people seriously depending on how themselves are serious about their sexual orientation/gender identity. Most folk here seem to, so I don't see it as an issue. I am a tad bit skeptical of how seriously people take demi- into question though, kind of as if they haven't challenged themselves about it. It's particularly a description that I merely see as a preference for plenty of people, myself included. If it seems like I'm attempting to put some people down, I'm not, it's just my two cents. Maybe it's just my personal preference, since I seem to prefer to use definitions instead of labels, I don't know. |
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Uh, well, my gf is not my gf anymore, but she's still lovely -w-
Maybe hope for the future, but then maybe not, who knows, but she's still a valued friend no matter how it goes. About bisexuality...for some reason...I don't feel right if I say I'm bi o_o I feel like it doesn't explain enough or something, though I don't know what else I'd have to explain. Like it sounds too broad..? Or not broad enough? Actually, I have no idea, I just like people sometimes. |
Maybe you should just avoid labeling yourself. After all, there aren't enough labels out there to describe everyone and if you're not comfortable with the constraints of the label then you shouldn't force yourself into it. "I just like people sometimes" might be the most appropriate label for you.
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While I do see the need for labels, in this instance I'd have to agree with Scarfy. Sometimes it's better not to think too much, especially in situations that shouldn't necessarily be about thinking. Do what you want, be attracted to who you're attracted to and let that be that.
Or if you really feel the need to say something, then something I often find helpful is saying "I'm a boy who likes boys." That way I'm not saying I'm gay, but I'm describing my gender and my attraction. Then there's no need for a label or a pigeonhole, just a description of what's up. |
I'd have to agree with Scarfy too, Sometimes it's better not to think too much\\{XD}
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Oh, I don't think you can ever think too much. :D
But you don't need to dwell on certain things. Like, if you have a door to open and none of the keys you have work, it doesn't help to keep trying them, but you should think about how else you can open the door or whether opening the door is really what you should be doing. |
The solution to that problem is climbing on top of your roof and breaking into your own house through a window. Been there, done that. Tangent, I know. I guess the analogy would be - do something original!
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Ah, I was just adding my thoughts about bisexuality :3 I'm pretty comfortable with it myself, but I was just meaning it's difficult to explain exactly how it is if someone else asks or if it comes up in discussion somehow lol
Most of the time it's just with friends so I can tell them whatever I want, but it's still weird when someone's like, "Oh, so you're bi?" I just...no. I just don't like the word! Kinda like how I'll always say "I'm from the US" rather than "I'm American" because the word "American" reminds me of the taste of American cheese by itself. :P |
Oh, goodness, I would never say to someone "Oh, so you're _____?" Really awkward. It's, like, what would you expect as a response? "Nope, not really. I just wanted to confuse you."
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I'd like to join please, what are the requirements?
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It's not all that rules-intensive. Just chime in to whatever discussion is going on or bring up whatever you feel like. Well, as long as it's not breaking the rules of course. You can tell us about yourself, ask questions - whatever. No pressure to talk about yourself though. Respectin' boundaries and all that. |
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I just moved to a city I've more or less never been to... don't know anyone at all. I've been trying to find get-togethers for games and stuff, but there's just... nothing. Are there LGBT clubs, or anything that aren't associated with a school? Haven't been able to find anything unfortunately, but I'm gonna go crazy just sitting alone at home. lol
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Phantom's back!
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If you can't find a group, and surely there has to be one SOMEWHERE if you dig deep enough. If not, well, what's stopping you from creating one? Sometimes, if groups are hard to find, maybe it's because those that run them aren't advertising enough, or they need people who are willing to be out there and be active. ANYWHO, guess who finally had a total sitdown with her family today? This person. It was... Not bad. My mom cried a bit and my dad was quiet. My grandma, well I'm not sure, she's a really good actor... but they aren't mad, that's a plus. I think I finally got through to them that it isn't a phase, or something I am going through. They agreed, saying, according to my mother that when I mentioned being bi (back in the day I labeled myself that because I was in that stage of discovering myself) they knew that there was a 95% chance of being totally lesbain. So my mom said she was only 5% shocked. I think that works. They said they love me because I am a good person, that I'm theirs, not because of who I love. My mom was actually upset I didn't say anything sooner. Anywho, I didn't go into big labeling, I just said that yep, I like woman. I've dated women. It's a happy feeling. Like... it feels like it's my birthday. It's just that excitement you feel just under your skin and you just feel like nothing can go wrong. Like I have exciting news to tell everybody. I think it's the best thing I've done in a long time. |
You know, it's funny. We humans are so fixated on fitting in that we often assign ourselves labels even when we don't intend to. And sometimes the things we label ourselves as can be quite humorous.
I don't so much label myself as I accept that who I am closely relates to a particular definition of a certain word. But even that similarity isn't 100% accurate. I am a man who is most definitely attracted to guys, and in fact am in love with one of the most amazing guys I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. But even so, I am quite capable of recognizing and even appreciating the attractiveness of someone of the opposite sex. I have no interest in sexual relationships with women, but I would be foolish to deny that I find someone, regardless of gender, to be attractive... or not. I think there is a very small percentage of people who are exclusively attracted to someone of the opposite sex, and a very small percentage of people who are exclusively attracted to someone of the same sex. There is something called a Kinsey scale, which, through testing, measures a person's orientation. I think a lot of people would be surprised to discover that they're not a 0 or a 6 (0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual) on the scale. I, myself, am between 4 and 5 on the scale. I find it also very fascinating that of all of us, females tend to exhibit the most varied range of sexuality. Theirs is more fluid where males are more rigid (no that is not a pun). So, a label certainly helps us to fit in with a certain group, I think we should all be willing to accept that our labels are not absolutes. We have to accept that throughout our lives changes will occur that can and do make us question the labels we've assigned ourselves. |
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You guys are so hardcore, with game plans and tech and all.
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I just don't like Grindr because there is less information to judge a person on. I don't like to waste my time when I know myself and another person have incompatible goals. Based on a brief bio and pictures, I can really only tell if I am physically attracted, well assuming the pictures are an accurate depiction of what the person looks like currently.
Anyway, though I am abstaining from dating for several more months while I am finishing up undergrad, I would suggest to others to ALSO give okcupid a try. Though, be cautious. With more information you need to be careful how you use that information. Also, filters in general can cut out people that you might be really compatible with, so make sure to try various search methods. I just never had success finding a compatible person because of geographical location, which should change relatively soon. Okcupid is the best FREE site. Since, you actually get to compare questions and the bios are more complete. Again, be careful not assume anyone is completely ingenuous, that is what the in-person dating is for! Rather, it's a nice way to filter out people that state incompatible goals or traits and provide a basis for date discussions (given you know a bit about their interests), and even a way to slip in some followup questions for any potential red flags. This person may have a great justification. But the more options the better. I would say, try both. See which one works best for you, and put yourself out there. -- So, I have a bit of interesting things to say after class today. Apparently, women are significantly more likely to have homosexual children after extreme stress. The study was conducted on women that were pregnant during WWII, in Germany. That study, with some of the other studies, that indicate that women are more likely to give birth to homosexual males if she has already given birth to male offspring (progressively with each birth). Biologically, it makes sense. In order for a women to ensure her genes success, she needs offspring that will reproduce. Upon having several boys, it becomes less likely that she will be able to provide not only enough, but more resources for her sons than other mothers. Therefore, homosexual offspring are more altruistic for their relatives, reproductive success, and thus, their own genetic success (siblings share on average 50% of the same genetics). They are less invested in their own reproductive success putting forth more energy into relatives. Likewise, during war, or any sort of stress, it may be more advantageous to have a homosexual child of either sex that will invest more into the family and siblings than on parental investment of their own children. Therefore, mothers that had this trait, were more likely to survive and produce children that would produce children, and thus why homosexuals exist today, as well as other animal species. It's simply a very advantageous trait to possess from a biological standpoint and has survived the process of natural selection. Thought that would be 'fun' to share. |
I read of another theory.
Basically, male proteins are foreign to a female's body. As a result, it's possible for the mother to create antibodies that would attack these male compounds. Every time a woman has a male child, her immune system is primed with the presence of foreign protein and her response would increase with each child. So each subsequent male child is subject to a higher concentration of anti-male antibodies. Oh, and antibodies are designed to neutralize the antigens they correspond to. So each subsequent male child is subject to a higher level of destruction of their male compounds. It would give an alternate explanation to the observation listed above. |
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Actually this is a proximate cause. These are the biological effects of having more male children. Every time a woman has a male her immune system will produce more anti-male antibodies. However, the ultimate phylogenic outcome, to explain why women would possess genetic information that would instruct the immune system to react in this manner, can be explained by natural selection, in that women that didn't possess this physiological reaction would have had more male offspring competing against each other and therefore not yielding as many offspring, as the women that did inherit this trait. So, we both could be right. It's just a matter of synthesis of the two, proximate and ultimate, causes. I am glad you brought that up! It helps better explain the ultimate causes. |
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I wonder how he's doing that thing with his eyebrows. Is it fine muscular control or does he just have that emotion or expression set? He looks permanently edgy, like you're expecting him to do something interesting every moment.
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So gay marriage in Australia is in a bit of a precarious position right now. The ACT, which is a tiny tiny state in the middle of New South Wales, is passing a bill legalising same-sex marriage, which will make it the first state in Australia to do so. However, the new homophobic Federal Government in power has said that it will challenge the new laws in the High Court of Australia, which has made the ACT lawmakers amend the bill to create a separate status of marriage for same-sex couples to give it a better chance of surviving the challenge.
I don't know whether to be happy or enraged... |
Same-sex marriage is now in New Jersey though - gotta take the bad with the good :P MURCA!
They can always amend it in the future. I don't think things like this tend to be set in stone, just a feeling. Once it gets passed it'll be a political victory having obtained some change, but the people affected by the law won't be satisfied. My calculation is that they'll score the victory now while they can, and then just ride along popular support as it grows. It's all gain, no loss. |
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Australia doesn't seem like the kind of place that would backslide and start becoming more hostile to gay rights so it could be a halfway victory. (But what do I know about Australia?)
It's okay to feel annoyed and upset that you're not getting what your rightfully deserve while also feeling a little accomplished if you get something that's imperfect but still better than what was before. Just gotta keep it up. |
The thing is though, I don't actually care so much. Australia is nothing. It always has been and always will be. It simply doesn't matter, so I don't care too much what happens here. My happiness/rage is more on principle, the way you get pissed off when the wrong person gets evicted on Big Brother.
I know gay marriage will be legal here by the time I actually manage to hunt myself down a man lol |
Have you guys heard about Russia's policy regarding gay rights?
I didn't know much about Russia but I was completely shocked when I read a newspaper article about the situation of homosexuals in Russia. The government is constantly restricting gay rights. For example, at the beginning of this year, a law was passed that prohibits showing homosexual relationships openly in the public, as "to protect" minors. In the article I read, some homosexuals were quoted who can no longer live without fear. One of them said that she can't hold hands with her girlfriend on the streets anymore because people will stare with disgust. There has been a clear increase in violent attacks against gay people as well. What shocked me most, though, was a comment made by the state television's Vice-Secretary-General Dmitri Kisseljow during a TV show. He said something like: "I think it's not enough to punish gay people because of gay propaganda around minors. Gay people should not be allowed to get semen or blood donations and after a fatal car accident, you need to bury or burn their hearts as they are unsuitable for a prolongation of life-no matter for whom." Reading all that, it's impossible to think that just about 10 years ago, the famous (apparently) lesbian duo "t.A.T.u." was Russia's contribution to the Eurovision Song Contest. |
Yeah, Russia is a bad place. I can only suppose that there is enough unrest among people that the government has chosen gay people to be a scapegoat and work up the dregs of their society to support Putin and his crowd.
It's been in the news a bit since they're hosting the Olympics and there's been talk back and forth about whether people should boycott, or how safe it would be for gay athletes or visitors. I know I'm not going to watch the games this time. |
^ After reading the above, I think I'll be boycotting the Olympics as well. That's horrible. No one should have to live in those conditions. That's psychologically damaging. :(
Does anyone else get tripped up by labels? I just realized that I have recently described myself as pansexual (because my romantic attraction to people is based on their personality), bisexual (because I tend to be romantically attracted to both genders), but also asexual (I don't seem to be sexually attracted to anyone ever.) It's confusing. After looking at the term bisexual, I guess I can't really apply that to myself because it implies sexual attraction. Bi-romantic would be more accurate? I know a lot of people kind of hate these extra labels, but I personally love them - I need that extra nuance or else I'm just misrepresenting myself. |
To be honest I feel like labels should either be kicked out entirely or they should be really nuanced. If we stop using them then we'll have to get to know people individually, but if we keep them then we give everybody the chance to find something that works for them.
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I guess if people use labels and how they use them is entirely up to them. I personally don't see a point in looking for the "right" orientation desperately. So, I wouldn't overuse (is this even a word?) labels like Magic Christmas Lights does but if you feel best that way, then why not? I just call myself bisexual but sometimes, I think it'd be best to go without a label. I just like people. That's it. It doesn't really matter to me if I'm attracted to guys more romantically and to girls more sexually. I don't see a point in making a fuss over my orientation like that. It took me long enough to realize that I like both anyway XD
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Well, I don't know. Most people I know have never heard of the term "bi-romantic" so if it applied to me, I'd probably not use it as it would stir up more confusion than it'd help to express myself. But that's just me. Just because a term is not so well-known, it doesn't mean, it can't be used. So, if it helps you, then it's totally fine :3
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Sounds like there needs to be a big push to educate the people about all these terms we've got. I can just see it: billboards and youtube ads all over the place.
That might scare a lot of people away though. |
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It would make things so much easier if people were, you know, not intolerant.
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Maybe intolerance isn't the best word to describe it, more like apathy :\ The absence of interest doesn't necessarily mean hostility.
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No, I mean intolerance. I don't care about apathy (haha) but people who are intolerant just make any environment a little toxic to even bring up topics like this. With apathetic people you can be "Hey, I'm actually bi-romantic, etc. etc." and they'll be like "Okay."
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I can understand and respect a polite level of expressed apathy. Though I will admit that it is deflating at first when you find someone who really doesn't really care or mind who it is you love. Once you realize it's not a bad thing, it's pretty easy to accept actually. It's sad that so many people choose to remain ignorant though.
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This is a question for all transgender people.
How did you find out that you were transgender? You see, I feel that the whole issue of transgender is very difficult to understand for people who are not concerned. I just can't imagine what it's like. When you're a guy and not satisfied with it and just want to be a girl... is that what it is? I suppose as a guy, you could be girlish, even though it's not what society expects from a guy. There's more than sterotypes. But I guess, with transgender people, it's more than just not fitting in with these sterotypes. Do you feel that you were born in the wrong body? Have you always known that you're "different"? I'm looking forward to your replies :3 |
I'm straight and cisgendered and I don't always fit in the stereotypes so that answers one of the questions. Maybe it doesn't have to do so much with stereotypes like you've said? Not so sure myself, good discussion point though! Let's show and tell XD
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I feel like I am indeed a girl, but nature gave me the wrong chromosome. I wound up finding it out when I felt like I had no sense of fitting in, and asked myself, "who am I?" I figured out what transgenderism was, and I was appalled by how it described how I felt so well (I was twelve.) I went with living like a boy until I was about 18 and a half, then it got to the point where I was unable to take it for much longer. I don't have the answer on exactly how I knew, in part due to that period of time is one I try so hard to forget.
For me it's not as much about stereotypes as much as it is as much as others perceive me. I just wish to be recognised as the person I see myself as: a woman. Even to myself, considering I'll look at a mirror and be unhappy with what I am seeing. I'm hoping to change that though since I'm just about to begin hormone therapy (which in itself makes me happy.) |
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We all want recognition and acceptance, of course, but it can't be forced on others. Only when you are truly happy with yourself will others recognize and accept you. Take your time, enjoy the journey, and like I said, I offer my best wishes to you and my congratulations for having the courage to be true to yourself. I wish others could be more like you. |
So sometimes when the conversation lags here for a while, I just Google "gay" and see what happens. There's always something gay on Google News.
Today I accidentally clicked Pictures instead of News and pretty much every picture is of men in public in their underwear. How do we feel about this being the dominant image? |
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Squeaky wheel gets the oil. It's the pride parades and attention-grabbing stuff like that which gets the most attention from the mainstream. It's probably not as bad as it seems. If you do the same thing for "lesbian" you get mostly stuff that is borderline inappropriate for a website like this: half-naked women kissing and grinding and that sort of stuff. Very clearly there for straight men.
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I don't think it's too late to join, so may I? I'm bi, and I don't care what sexual orientation anyone is--I support them all.
To be honest, I've known only recently that I was bi... and recently I feel like I lean more towards women, but yeah, it's what makes me happy in a relationship, right? |
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We welcome you with open arms~ :D |
You never welcomed me with open arms :< How many months is this overdue? hmmph
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Then again, some of my gay friends have tumblr blogs, and that's what they blog all day - hot guys in their underwear in stupid poses. Because that's what they like. xD; So maybe the biggest search on the internet in relation to the term "gay" is that sort of thing? I've actually never looked. Kinda like how searching lesbians probably gives you flawless females models all up in each other's grills lookin' sorta tacky. |
I thought this was so awesome I just had to post this here. It's an Op-Ed in the form of an open letter from Sarah Trumble, a policy counsel at Third Way, a moderate think tank in Washington, D.C.:
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