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-   -   The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club] (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=252766)

Oryx September 7th, 2011 9:58 AM

My school....is Catholic. Let's start there, lol.

There's a very large, very active unofficial GSA on campus. They've been applying every year consistently for about 15 years, and have been rejected every single year. The reasoning the school gives is that we already have a "Core Council", which is a group of 9 people that decides how LGBT issues and events are handled on campus. The GSA has tried to convince the school that 9 people hand-picked out of a crowd isn't the same as allowing an official club, but I think they're afraid that the older Catholic crowd won't donate anymore if they start supporting a GSA (since being a club means that they get a set amount of money every year from the school).

There was also that scandal the spring before I came here where the school newspaper completely messed up in the comic section...they drew a few characters (a pitchfork and a shovel I believe) making an extremely homophobic joke that I'd rather not repeat. The point of it was that those characters were "tools" for doing so, but people misunderstood and the entire thing was a huge debacle.

Then there were the gay shirts, which were before my time as well...for a few days a lot of people went around campus wearing shirts that said "Gay? Go to hell." That's when the GSA started the campaign of giving away free shirts that say "Gay? Fine by me." and asking us to wear them on certain days, lol.

Alice September 7th, 2011 11:43 AM

I'm not in school anymore, and I really had no interest in LGBT issues when I was, but we did have a GSA, and I know for a fact there was at least one openly lesbian couple in school. I'm not really sure how things were otherwise.

FreakyLocz14 September 7th, 2011 12:02 PM

I'm Catholic, and my church is a lot more tolerant than most. They can't perform same-sex wedding or domestic partnership ceremonies, but they have openly LGBT church leaders and don't ever preach that "You're going to Hell" stuff. They also don't partake in any of that conversion therapy stuff.

Ctrl.Alt.Geak September 7th, 2011 6:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6839579)
How is your school (or the school you used to go to) in terms of LGBTetc. issues?

I am out of school, but the performing arts school I used to go to was very LGBT friendly. The principal herself was a lesbian and a large amount of teachers were also gay. I remember seeing a lot of posters around the school about support networks and things like that, but we never had our own club. Still I couldnt have asked for a better school. Unfortunately I only stayed for half a year.
My other school was just apathetic to bullying in general so they couldnt care less if someone got called a f** or anything like that.

deoxys121 September 7th, 2011 7:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6839579)
How is your school (or the school you used to go to) in terms of LGBTetc. issues?

My school did not have any GSAs that I knew of. I went to high school in Florida, and as most of us know, homosexuality isn't very widely accepted in the south. But, I saw many openly lesbian couples on campus, one of said couples were two of my best friends. I never saw male gay couples, but there was one guy there who I knew was openly gay. As far as homophobic actions, the only thing I remember is a fellow student getting on my bus and shouting, "Ew, I just saw the grossest thing ever. I just saw two guys kiss." I didn't say anything, but I was thinking that person's reaction was very inappropriate.

Shining Raichu September 7th, 2011 9:01 PM

In Australia, schools don't really have any official organisations that I know of, so we had nothing like a GSA. Pretty much outside of sporting teams and a fairly unofficial yearbook committee, I knew of no clubs or groups or causes or anything. I never really dealt with the homosexuality issue in school at all actually, though my out gay friend did get bullied a fair bit. Nothing physical, just your garden variety teasing and taunts.

aRedMoon September 7th, 2011 11:40 PM

My school had a GSA-type thing, and it for some reason got broken up last year. So now we have two new competing ones that are out to get the spot, and they're not very friendly with each other. It's kinda amusing, in a way. One of the reasons is that one of the groups is much more political than the other, which sparks its own issues.

But otherwise, my school is really great. (Remember, I'm a college kid :P) This year they've really ramped it up too. We have "SafeSpace" which all the RAs are trained in, and a bunch of other little resources. Move-in weekend, we also had a BIG party/picnic type thing about it too.

<-- Trying to get more involved this year :)

Renii September 8th, 2011 6:18 AM

I'm in the last year of high school. My school doesn't really have clubs like that, we have a math club, a computer club, a science club but nothing like GSA or even something like a sports club. Even if we did, we probably would not have an LGBT related club, I hear they do have one here in the university (I live in the university campus)

I very rarely get bullied or anything tbh, I did however get verbal and physical abuse when I was still not out and just another effeminate guy.
(The fact that I don't get bullied anymore has nothing to do with whether I was out or not, it just stopped; I guess people grew out of it.)

I have heard stories like, one of my seniors was humiliated by the principal for having told a straight guy that he crushed on him. He was pretty much a big joke, it makes me sad how everyone used to treat him. Sigh.

Apart from that, the number of out gay guys is increasing, I guess I can expect a revolution in a few years :)

Mew~ September 8th, 2011 7:47 AM

It hasn't really ever come up in our school a lot, I don't think anyone has ever admitted to being whatever, as far as I know that is. But teachers do always get involved when someone is using the term gay as a insult.

There have been these red signs put up in nearly every class room, these are them actually;
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50502_209819909505_3625381_n.jpg

This was even put out on a billboard just outside our school;
http://www.beforeiforget.co.uk/images/2008/somepeoplearegay.jpg

FreakyLocz14 September 8th, 2011 8:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mew~ (Post 6840693)
It hasn't really ever come up in our school a lot, I don't think anyone has ever admitted to being whatever, as far as I know that is. But teachers do always get involved when someone is using the term gay as a insult.

There have been these red signs put up in nearly every class room, these are them actually;
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50502_209819909505_3625381_n.jpg

This was even put out on a billboard just outside our school;
http://www.beforeiforget.co.uk/images/2008/somepeoplearegay.jpg

I did a blog similar to this. http://www.pokecommunity.com/blog.php?b=11165

We have a GSA and SafePlace at my school. Most people have no problems with LGBT students. I'd say it's a pretty friendly campus.

Gothitelle. September 9th, 2011 4:28 PM

To live up a discussion, do you let it known that your gay or do you just keep it to yourself? (by let it know meaning, post it in your sig or wear a shirt that says "Im gay!" etc)

-ty- September 9th, 2011 5:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gothitelle. (Post 6842531)
To live up a discussion, do you let it known that your gay or do you just keep it to yourself? (by let it know meaning, post it in your sig or wear a shirt that says "Im gay!" etc)

Like most straight people, I do not where shirts that proclaim my sexuality. Also, like straight people, when they talk about guy/girl interests, I would do the same, and not exclude myself from the conversation b/c I am fearful of revealing my sexuality. Also, although straight people do not proclaim their sexuality, they let us know by talking to us about their significant others, so I do not feel like I am flaunting or declaring that I am gay if I do the same by describing a guy I like, or holding hands with my bf or whatever else may indicate sexuality. If outright asked if I am gay, I will, in most cases, say that I am...Unless it's a creepy guy that wants to get in my pants, then I just say "nahh". lol

I like to keep it a balance between the two extremes of hiding and flaunting, like most people who are heterosexual. Some heterosexuals, men in particular, flaunt heterosexuality by trying to reaffirm to others that they are not gay, and flaunting "manliness"- insecure much. Homosexuals would be flaunting if they inappropriately kept reaffirming to others that they are gay by unnaturally forcing attention-seeking behaviors, but I would not include gay pride events/pride t-shirts as a form of flaunting in the case of homosexuals.

Btw... I have included the iconic color spectrum in my avatar mugshot as a subtle way of showing my pride, but I am not going to put " I am gay" and nothing else, simply because I am much more than just gay. Some people have given me back-handed compliments on my avatar simply because they thought the coloring was gay, but other than it was good - I could really care less! XD

Shining Raichu September 10th, 2011 6:27 AM

This question bewilders me. Are there actually shirts available that say "I'm gay!"? Well, I'm sure there are - you can make a shirt say anything you'd like, I guess. Also, how is this supposed to 'liven up' a conversation? Random proclamations of sexuality would (to my mind at least) make things awkward if anything.

EDIT: lol, you meant to liven up the discussion here. I thought you meant "oh I'm in a conversation and it's lagging, I might mention that I'm gay to make things interesting". Derp.

Star-Lord September 10th, 2011 11:47 AM

Oooh boy. A few interesting questions.

Would you change anything about your sexuality/gender?

Yep. I'd be straight in a second. I can't find an actual reason to continue being gay if there was a choice in my sexuality.

What does your school do concerning LGBTQ issues?

Admittedly, my school is a little funny on this subject. The thing is that my town only really has two GSAs. It's a small town, there's only five high schools and some of the people in town have rather conservative mindsets so people are afraid to say anything. My school doesn't have a GSA. The justification or reasoning I suppose is that nobody really tried to make one, and that there aren't a lot of kids that are open with themselves. The administration at my school is incredibly helpful to LGBTQ students, from what I've heard. One of the ones last year didn't help me out at all. Whatever.

The biggest high school in town is incredibly helpful to their students. I've seen it first hand, as they thought a trans* student had been beat up and went full scale in getting down to the source of this. It turned out that they weren't beat up, but the reaction and steps made sure to make sure that the people would have been punished was great to see. The principal is incredibly open minded, and this is where the largest GSA in our town is. It had students from all of the schools come in, and it's starting up for this year pretty soon actually. They were also promised a room (since they just lost a ton of kids) for the GSA, which they are able to furnish and decorate properly. I'm impressed at what that school did.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gothitelle. (Post 6842531)
To live up a discussion, do you let it known that your gay or do you just keep it to yourself? (by let it know meaning, post it in your sig or wear a shirt that says "Im gay!" etc)

Not really. I don't see why it's anybody's business for who I am. My close friends all know and I'm comfortable with making cracks at myself with them. Random strangers? No not really. I mean I dress how I like, which isn't to flashy or "stereotypical" so whatever.

However I do own a shirt that says "Some dudes marry dudes, get over it." I wear that on the anti-bullying day we have though.

Astinus September 10th, 2011 4:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gothitelle. (Post 6842531)
To live up a discussion, do you let it known that your gay or do you just keep it to yourself? (by let it know meaning, post it in your sig or wear a shirt that says "Im gay!" etc)

The only thing that I wear that's in any way related to my sexuality are three bracelets that together make up the colors of the asexuality flag. Other than that, I don't flaunt my sexuality, but I don't hide it either. Like -ty-, if the discussion that I'm having with my friends turns to people we're attracted to, I don't mention anyone, or I might mention that one person that I am attracted to. Other than that, I don't run the streets singing about my asexuality, panromantic side, or about how I'm non-binary. Though I have dropped hints that I do prefer more gender-neutral ways to refer to me in real life.

Well, and I can't really hide that I shop in the men's department even though I'm female-sexed, so...

What does your school do concerning LGBTQ issues?
I believe my high school might have had a GSA when I first started going there, but it ended and was never revived. And my college really had nothing. If they did, I wasn't aware of it.

Shining Raichu September 10th, 2011 4:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moogles (Post 6843655)
Would you change anything about your sexuality/gender?

Yep. I'd be straight in a second. I can't find an actual reason to continue being gay if there was a choice in my sexuality.

What if you were really in love with a guy when the choice was made available to you?

Star-Lord September 10th, 2011 5:36 PM

If I became straight I wouldn't be in love with them afterwards though.

TornZero September 10th, 2011 6:05 PM

What does your school do concerning LGBTQ issues?

They don't do anything that doesn't happen to non-LGBT students. The straight kids actually suffer more because they tend to get into (really petty and really unnecessary) fights with each other (probably just to kick each others' cans) instead of with the LGBT students they don't even know.

Shining Raichu September 10th, 2011 6:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moogles (Post 6843996)
If I became straight I wouldn't be in love with them afterwards though.

Yes, this is what I'm saying lol - if you were in love with someone, would you be willing to sacrifice them for heterosexuality?

Actually, you know what? I like this question lol - I'm going to open it up to the whole community:

If the choice was made available to you to become straight, would being in love with someone of the same gender impact on your decision?

Personally, I couldn't. I have no interest in changing my sexuality regardless so I'm writing this response as though I do. If I were madly in love with another man and suddenly the 'miracle drug' (lol) became available to cancel out the gene or whatever it is that made me gay, I would not take it. I'd just hope he'd love me enough to make the same decision.

Star-Lord September 10th, 2011 6:31 PM

I'm well aware of what you're saying. I'm saying that if I was in love with them, after changing I wouldn't have feelings anymore so it would be null. Even then, if I was "in love" with them I would expect them to have a great understanding of what I'm going through and who I am. I would have a discussion with them on why I would do my decision the way I'm doing it. I'd obviously still remain friends with them, but I wouldn't be romantically or sexually attracted to them. In the end I would expect a great friend out of it all.

I want equal rights and to be looked as like equal from the social standpoint. Period.

aRedMoon September 10th, 2011 8:20 PM

Going back a few pages...
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6828103)
In straight relationships, it's generally accepted that the man will propose. In a homosexual relationship, there are either two men or no men at all. Would you rather be the one to propose, or would you prefer to be proposed to?

I would love to have the opportunity to do either. I would love to be proposed to, surprise me with that sort of question. On the other hand, I would also love to be able to plan out the perfect proposal. So I guess my answer is: doesn't matter. I'd love to be on either side. It'll be a competition with my future partner. :3

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6826299)
Does anyone else think that it is more difficult for LGBT people to date? And that there are more strains in relationships than in heterosexual relationships generally?

It's harder to find someone. =o= Even if you find another gay person, it's like "Erm, ewww." and srsly don't wanna date them. Or a man*****. The two gay guys I actually know fall into those categories. Sigh.

Here's a question...

Does anyone do something to "advertise" their sexuality?

I've taken to wearing a rainbow wristband. Nothing big, but it does say something. It made my heart-a-flutter when the guy I'm seriously crushing on complimented me on it. Heh...

-ty- September 10th, 2011 8:29 PM

If the choice was made available to you to become straight, would being in love with someone of the same gender impact on your decision?
Yes. I hate homosexual dating; it's more likely I would find love if I were straight. I would be less insecure, and feel less judged.

However, Andrew(I am horrible at remembering names, I hope I'm not mistaken) expanded upon the question; if I were to be in love and know that a guy loves me and doesn't want anyone else besides me, then I would not change my sexuality. Because the big problem "gay dating" would not be a huge issue if I had a good guy, the insecurity does not trump love.

BTW...has anyone watched the A-list on LOGO, what do you think? ( I don't know if we consider this to be a LGBT question, but the show is pretty much like the gay version of the real world, and that is rare to find on tv.)

I am not too big on reality tv, but I love this addicting show - it's pretty damn "juicy" haha

I watched the whole first season today, and I have to say that I am moving to New York City after I obtain my degree! Anyone that watches the show is going to think that i am crazy for this next part, but I have a huge crush on Austin.

Taemin September 10th, 2011 8:57 PM

Wow, I always forget to check this place. I'm so horrible with clubs. lol

If the choice was made available to you to become straight, would being in love with someone of the same gender impact on your decision?
Oooh, interesting. -answers-

Uuumm, yes, yes it would. Hope I'm understanding the question. I'd imagine if I were already in love with someone of the same gender, then the opportunity to become *~*magically straight*~* would be unappealing. Chances are I'd be happy with that person, and content enough in the relationship that I wouldn't care much at all to change my perspective and ruin whatever I had with them. Plus, being straight would be easier, but certainly not as interesting as swinging both ways. -shot-

Melody September 10th, 2011 11:39 PM

If the choice was made available to you to become straight, would being in love with someone of the same gender impact on your decision?
Give up being Bi for that? No way!

To be honest...I don't care about gender. If I love someone, that's how I feel. The only thing that can stop me is that person. If they don't feel the same, that's fine...I'll pick myself up and move on. :3

Astinus September 11th, 2011 4:40 PM

If the choice was made available to you to become straight, would being in love with someone of the same gender impact on your decision?
It would impact my decision, but I still wouldn't go through with it. I wouldn't give up the happiness and time I spent with that person just to be straight. I mean, if I'm with someone who means that much to me that I take their feelings into consideration while making a decision that affects me, then I'll say that that person means enough to me to not give them up for any reason.

NurseBarbra September 13th, 2011 1:26 PM

http://www.rainbowdelegation.org/ Just gonna leave this here. they're free and I'm getting 2

aRedMoon September 13th, 2011 5:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NurseBarbra (Post 6848159)
http://www.rainbowdelegation.org/ Just gonna leave this here. they're free and I'm getting 2

I have one! They're really good quality ones, and I've gotten ~so~ many compliments on it. :D

TornZero September 13th, 2011 6:20 PM

I checked it out... and I ordered two. o3o

deoxys121 September 14th, 2011 1:29 PM

Just ordered two wristbands. Hope they get here soon.

Alice September 14th, 2011 2:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wcdaily (Post 6849414)
I want to get one, but I wonder what my parents would think if they saw it in the mail.

This.

I wouldn't wear it anyway. Not a good idea around here...

TornZero September 14th, 2011 4:12 PM

Just turned eighteen today, but I don't exactly feel any freer compared to seventeen. I'm still weird to any classmates that notice my behaviors; I don't smoke; and I don't feel like voting between the candidates we have right now.

Does anyone do something to "advertise" their sexuality?

Since last year or so, I've been somewhat more open with my interests regarding sexual attraction, though there isn't much of a change since it's difficult to be interested in most of my classmates (the most of which are potheads, party-lovers, and the gamers are generally boring because they only care about first-person shooters). But I digress. Basically, I've been more open about it, but it's gone overly unnoticed.

Who's Kiyo? September 14th, 2011 5:37 PM

Does anyone do something to "advertise" their sexuality?

No, I suppose not. But, if I like someone like a crush; I tend to smile a lot, give them subtle hints. If that counts at all whatsoever. >.>"

But it's not like I'm allowing myself to get crushes anymore.

Um.... being open about it if someone asks is about as far as I can note.

aRedMoon September 15th, 2011 6:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wcdaily (Post 6849414)
I want to get one, but I wonder what my parents would think if they saw it in the mail.

IIRC, it comes in a normal envelope... parents probably wouldn't notice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by deoxys121 (Post 6849426)
Just ordered two wristbands. Hope they get here soon.

They won't. It takes a few weeks. (:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear (Post 6849736)
No, I suppose not. But, if I like someone like a crush; I tend to smile a lot, give them subtle hints. If that counts at all whatsoever. >.>"

Cute <3

I totally do the same thing.

This one guy in my theory class makes my world right now.

Who's Kiyo? September 15th, 2011 6:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aRedMoon (Post 6850219)
Cute <3

I totally do the same thing.

This one guy in my theory class makes my world right now.

I have this attraction to this one guy recently who's friends with my best friend Laura- he acts so awkward near me (other people in general too I suppose, but shut up I'm fantisizing) and it makes me wonder if he finds me attractive. He kind acts like it, taking notice to things I had no idea he'd know about and making a bit of conversation even when Laura is not around and smiling.

I wouldn't mind grabbing a hamburger or somethin' somethin' you know.

AREN'T I FREAKING ADORABLE <3

Hm.... in addition to the recent question:

How do you (regardless if you're Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Trans, Straight, Pan, Questioning, WHATEVS) handle a crush?

Shining Raichu September 15th, 2011 6:04 PM

I'm normally too shy to say anything if I'm crushing irl, which is something I guess I'll have to work on if I ever wanna find me a man :P but online I just tell everybody when I'm crushing on them - even the straight guys :P

twistedpuppy September 15th, 2011 6:31 PM

How do you (regardless if you're Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Trans, Straight, Pan, Questioning, WHATEVS) handle a crush?
Same response as Shining Raichu, except I don't tell them I have a crush. I just flirt a lot. It's tough in real life. Sometimes you don't know if they're the same orientation as you & if they're not there may be a chance they won't react well to your confession.

TornZero September 15th, 2011 6:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear (Post 6850854)
How do you (regardless if you're Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Trans, Straight, Pan, Questioning, WHATEVS) handle a crush?

I would normally drop random hints on it, but they're usually too oblivious to pick it up, or it just seems like I'm doing it naturally. T_T I'm too timid to go up to my crush and blatantly tell them, "I freakin' love you!"

aRedMoon September 15th, 2011 7:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear (Post 6850854)
I have this attraction to this one guy recently who's friends with my best friend Laura- he acts so awkward near me (other people in general too I suppose, but shut up I'm fantisizing) and it makes me wonder if he finds me attractive. He kind acts like it, taking notice to things I had no idea he'd know about and making a bit of conversation even when Laura is not around and smiling.

I wouldn't mind grabbing a hamburger or somethin' somethin' you know.

Then you SHOULD. Just see if he wants to go to Starbucks or something. Datish, but not too much so :D
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear (Post 6850854)
How do you (regardless if you're Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Trans, Straight, Pan, Questioning, WHATEVS) handle a crush?

Well, I kinda already said it... but I am SUPER timid. I normally am a rather quiet guy, but around him, it's like I squeak if he's around.

It's kinda sad, since I'm too old for such silly crushes. :P
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6850858)
I'm normally too shy to say anything if I'm crushing irl, which is something I guess I'll have to work on if I ever wanna find me a man :P but online I just tell everybody when I'm crushing on them - even the straight guys :P

E-crushes.

Just make sure you don't start edating one of those straight guys o/

*made the mistake once
Quote:

Originally Posted by TornZero (Post 6850894)


I would normally drop random hints on it, but they're usually too oblivious to pick it up, or it just seems like I'm doing it naturally. T_T I'm too timid to go up to my crush and blatantly tell them, "I freakin' love you!"

GO FOR IT!

*cheerleader*

Alice September 15th, 2011 9:13 PM

I never really have had any crushes tbh... I've always avoided relationships, even when asked out, because I felt like they were a waste of time.

I wouldn't really know how to handle a crush now. I'd probably just do the same as before... try and ignore them, and act as cold as po--oh crap I'm a tsundere. I never even realized. wtf

Esper September 16th, 2011 9:23 AM

When I'm crushing on someone I just act friendly with them. Since I don't really crush on anyone I'm not friends and friendly with in the first place the only real difference is in how much time I spend, or want to spent, with them. At some point I might tell them how I feel and then all bets are off as to my behavior.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aRedMoon (Post 6850914)
It's kinda sad, since I'm too old for such silly crushes. :P

You're never too old for that.

Who's Kiyo? September 16th, 2011 11:58 AM

Can't stop laughing after I found out that guy I just previously mentioned was actually my friend Laura's boyfriend.

PTHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA.

Oh goodness me. XD;

Snow Phoenix September 17th, 2011 4:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear (Post 6851461)
Can't stop laughing after I found out that guy I just previously mentioned was actually my friend Laura's boyfriend.

PTHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA.

Oh goodness me. XD;

Ohmygosh @[email protected] That's terrible xD And I was rooting for you. There's always next time ;P

Well I feel safe to post here again :3 I finally got around to announcing my accepted homosexuality on PC @[email protected] I've internally accepted it for the last two months now, but now it's officially out in public and it's a bit of a relief ^-^ Now I can say how much I enjoyed watching this guy on his date xD

But, yeah. I've already been making some progress :P I admited to myself that I thought these two guys were attractive, I made moves on both of them (I actually got to rub one their backs which was nice :P), and I gave up on both ^-^ One of them is pretty much straight, but I can still admire him and hang out with him ;3 And the other is a butt -.- I hand the guts to ask him to go to a nice resturant with me, but he never showed and he never even explained to me why he didn't come. That kind of rudeness... pshaw... I'm through with him. Pretty boys suck -.- *continues watching the goofy straight guy from in front of his face* Oh and I've also asked my openly bisexual friend to take me to the GLBT :3 So overall! I think I'm doing well.

As to answer the one question about the crush thing... I'd just try to get closer to the guy, hang out with him, then eventually ask him out o.o I've dated plenty of girls and I've had to be the one to ask them out, so I'm used to it :P It's just a little more nerve-wrecking since I'm not good at talking with guys and I don't understand them as well >.< Being "straight" was so much easier, but it was also a cop out :/

ohHeyVaporeon. September 17th, 2011 5:04 PM

So I'm popping in because 1. I'm gay, and 2. Snow Phoenix just VM'ed me the link.

Major props to him. ^^

In terms of handling crushes, though... I don't. I am very laid-back, casual kind of guy... I usually tend to make the other person make the first move (douche-ish, I know), unless I REALLY like the person. That was the case with my last boyfriend... He pursued me for so long, and when I didn't give, he gave up. Then, in a douche-ish wannabe superhero kind of way, I asked him to be mine.

Not the best handling, but hey... I made him mine. ^^

Shining Raichu September 17th, 2011 5:54 PM

Welcome, ohHeyVaporeon! I don't think it's douchey to let the other guy make the first move, right now for me that's the only way a relationship would start irl - I'm too timid otherwise lol. The superhero asking-him-to-be-mine thing is adorable :P. And hey, whatever works, right?

The weird thing about me is sexually I'm not shy, it's only when it comes to real relationship material that I start to freak and get all timid.

ohHeyVaporeon. September 17th, 2011 6:01 PM

Thank you for the welcome!

And yeah, I guess it was pretty cool of me... Haha. ^^ And nah, sexually I am not shy at all... I'm a bit of a panther, actually. Always ready to pounce.

Her September 17th, 2011 6:03 PM

dropping in because i am a massive ...

I've never asked out a guy myself, I'm simply too shy. Although there is no one right now who I'm particularly 'into', when a guy comes along that I'm interested in, I think I'll be the one who asks him out. Hooray for me, I guess?
I've only been asked out by one guy in my life, and that was through THE INTERNET OH YEAH!

TornZero September 17th, 2011 6:54 PM

Moving on from the crush question and onto the topic it's drifted into...

Are you usually the one to ask someone out, or is it the other way around?

I'm typically the one waiting to be asked out unless the other person is the one dropping hints.

Alice September 17th, 2011 9:32 PM

I don't really care tbh.

I've been asked out twice, which was fine. I just said no, and that was that, so I don't mind being asked out. I've never had the guts to ask someone else out myself though.

U.Flame September 17th, 2011 10:40 PM

You know, in my age and area, there are hardly any virgins, and I STILL haven't gone out with anyone yet. If I end up liking someone, I'd ask them out. I don't know why people would wait for the other way around.

FreakyLocz14 September 17th, 2011 10:53 PM

The funniest thing happened at school. One of the county board members who is known for her extreme homophobia came by our campus to discuss something about taxes. She used a public restroom there, so some lesbian students who live in her district decided that they'd ask her why she is homophobic. She stormed out of the restroom yelling that they tried to rape her. The woman is like 80 years old.

Alice September 17th, 2011 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6853404)
The funniest thing happened at school. One of the county board members who is known for her extreme homophobia came by our campus to discuss something about taxes. She used a public restroom there, so some lesbian students who live in her district decided that they'd ask her why she is homophobic. She stormed out of the restroom yelling that they tried to rape her. The woman is like 80 years old.

Wow really? That's just sad.

ohHeyVaporeon. September 18th, 2011 1:04 AM

Unfortunately, people can sometimes be a little narrow-minded. Not my place to judge, however. I just hope that she can one day at least come to terms with the fact that we will always be here (and always have been). If not... Bless her little heart. Not everyone can be convinced.

TornZero September 18th, 2011 2:03 AM

Nice of you to join in, Impo, and I hope your gaydar is working correctly.

ohHeyVaporeon. September 18th, 2011 2:19 AM

The gaydar never fails. Just saying. ^^

Snow Phoenix September 18th, 2011 4:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohHeyVaporeon. (Post 6853469)
Unfortunately, people can sometimes be a little narrow-minded. Not my place to judge, however. I just hope that she can one day at least come to terms with the fact that we will always be here (and always have been). If not... Bless her little heart. Not everyone can be convinced.

I've been waiting for someone to say something like that :3 Gwaah *huggles you* I dislike how I keep seeing so many people who bash homophobes :/ I've never found it appropriate to judge people on such things >.< And it's nice to see someone who may possibly agree. The only thing I usually have a problem with are those people who parade on people's grave >.< But, that's a personal issue.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6853510)
Wow, I'm used to silently stalking this thread - feels weird to post.

I remember I thought I was asexual - pretty sure I'm homosexual now. Tada.
I'm having this huge crush on a guy at my school he's hot. And what's better is that my gaydar's going off.

That's all xD .

I know exactly how you feel o.o I never post in this thread because it's intimidating sometimes >.< And I felt bad about hiding @[email protected]

ohHeyVaporeon. September 18th, 2011 4:15 AM

Parading around on someone's grave is indeed a big issue. It's not something that I can even really stomach.

Shining Raichu September 18th, 2011 4:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6853510)
Wow, I'm used to silently stalking this thread - feels weird to post.

I remember I thought I was asexual - pretty sure I'm homosexual now. Tada.
I'm having this huge crush on a guy at my school he's hot. And what's better is that my gaydar's going off.

That's all xD .

Welcome, Impo! I was a little surprised to see you here, but I'm very glad you are :D

Be wary of the gaydar, it can take a while to properly hone, but I hope for your sake it's right!

Shining Raichu September 18th, 2011 4:41 AM

Well I've been around you in IRC a few times and my gaydar never went off haha

And yeah you mentioned he's hot ;), if it weren't totally unethical I'd ask for photographic evidence :P

Snow Phoenix September 18th, 2011 4:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohHeyVaporeon. (Post 6853584)
Parading around on someone's grave is indeed a big issue. It's not something that I can even really stomach.

I personally see death as one of the few things that is truly equal xD It's not how we die, but the fact that we all die that unites us. It makes us all human ;) Wither you're a homosexual, homophobe, or clueless third party ^-^

And pshaw... If I have any gaydar, I ignore it o.o It's fun admiring all the shining stars :3 I just have to remind myself that no matter how hard I try pushing all the sands together to force a diamond out of me, I'm just going to get coal :P Be yourself, right? It's just so interesting to do o.o'

Who's Kiyo? September 18th, 2011 6:40 AM

Are you usually the one to ask someone out, or is it the other way around?

Well, I would die if someone asked me out and they were hot had a good personality and it would help if they were hot, too. :3

But as I mature, I find it's more in my nature and more effective for myself to make the "move." I'm hot, too, so it's not like anyone would say no.

In other news, not to seem shallow or anything, but while I had my eye on what turned out to be my friend's boyfriend, I also had my eye on a guy who's younger than me. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of him and me. So with the other one proven straight, I can focus on this guy more.

And he has the same name as me, which would make us Joey and Joe. Freaking adorable, right?

But the only thing is- he's only questioning; or, as he said, "still figuring it out." (I know this because he was at the first GSA meeting in our school and he said this when he introduced himself.) He shown some interest in me (and knows I like dudes because that's what I said in the GSA), but....

I don't want to confuse him at all, because that's the last thing he needs.

Although I probably know the answer, advice and/or thoughts?

Alice September 18th, 2011 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohHeyVaporeon. (Post 6853521)
The gaydar never fails. Just saying. ^^

I don't have a gaydar. rofl

FreakyLocz14 September 18th, 2011 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6854048)
I don't have a gaydar. rofl

What is a gaydar? Are they expensive?

FreakyLocz14 September 18th, 2011 1:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wcdaily (Post 6854114)
It's a metaphor, and it's very expensive.

Really? How much do they cost? Where can I buy one?

TornZero September 18th, 2011 2:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6854193)
Really? How much do they cost? Where can I buy one?

I'm pretty sure you have to buy them from someone else or make them yourself.

aRedMoon September 18th, 2011 7:52 PM

I hear you can buy them on eBay.

Esper September 18th, 2011 9:31 PM

Topic hijack!

Vague, open-ended and somewhat philosophical question now, something I'm sure many of us have thought about: what is sexuality for you? Not "what is your sexuality?" but what is it in general, or what is it to you? Did we do this question already? Well, if we did then just ignore and talk about gaydar or whatnot.

TornZero September 18th, 2011 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6854715)
Topic hijack!

Vague, open-ended and somewhat philosophical question now, something I'm sure many of us have thought about: what is sexuality for you? Not "what is your sexuality?" but what is it in general, or what is it to you? Did we do this question already? Well, if we did then just ignore and talk about gaydar or whatnot.

I don't think it's been asked yet.

To me, "sexuality" is the broad term that refers to sexual orientation, gender identity, and romantic orientation. However, unless people strictly ask about my gender identity, I'll leave that part out. The reason behind this is the fact that most people only care about sexual orientation, and few outside the LGBT community (and plenty in, such as my little brother) have no clue what a gender identity is.

Oryx September 18th, 2011 10:27 PM

This is an interesting question that I feel like I view different than most people.

To me, your sexuality is who you want to be with. If you're a man that's sexually attracted to both men and women, but only romantically attracted to men so you'll only ever be with men, I would consider that gay. That's a point that I feel I disagree with some people; a lot of people tell me that sexuality is only what you're sexually attracted to, which is why we need the terms to describe who you're romantically attracted to. But imo, if you're never going to be with someone of a certain gender, it doesn't matter if you're romantically attracted to them or whatever.

/controversial xD

Her September 18th, 2011 10:31 PM

I guess my opinion is quite bland on this situation. To me, sexuality is simply what gender you're attracted to and how you choose to act on that attraction.
Short and concise is the best way for me to explain my feelings on the situation.

Kura September 18th, 2011 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6853404)
The funniest thing happened at school. One of the county board members who is known for her extreme homophobia came by our campus to discuss something about taxes. She used a public restroom there, so some lesbian students who live in her district decided that they'd ask her why she is homophobic. She stormed out of the restroom yelling that they tried to rape her. The woman is like 80 years old.

Hold on.. how do you know what actually happened in the restroom? ._. They're not allowed to put cameras in there..
@[email protected] Though if that is true.. it's quite ridiculous. I'm very sad that homophobia and discrimination exists.. :c..


As for sexuality.. I like TornZero's response with "To me, "sexuality" is the broad term that refers to sexual orientation, gender identity, and romantic orientation."
However, I would even go so far as to say someone's identity.. and not just their gender identity. Sex is natural for humans and therefore that's why/ how I can see it is part of their identity.
I guess to better understand what I mean.. take Samantha from Sex in the City for example; her sexuality plays a huge role in her character.. and although sexuality doesn't necessarily has to be public, I feel it still affects who you are as a person :3

Just my thoughts <3

FreakyLocz14 September 18th, 2011 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kura (Post 6854779)
Hold on.. how do you know what actually happened in the restroom? ._. They're not allowed to put cameras in there..
@[email protected] Though if that is true.. it's quite ridiculous. I'm very sad that homophobia and discrimination exists.. :c..


As for sexuality.. I like TornZero's response with "To me, "sexuality" is the broad term that refers to sexual orientation, gender identity, and romantic orientation."
However, I would even go so far as to say someone's identity.. and not just their gender identity. Sex is natural for humans and therefore that's why/ how I can see it is part of their identity.
I guess to better understand what I mean.. take Samantha from Sex in the City for example; her sexuality plays a huge role in her character.. and although sexuality doesn't necessarily has to be public, I feel it still affects who you are as a person :3

Just my thoughts <3

I don't know. That's just what she says happened.

Shining Raichu September 18th, 2011 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6854193)
Really? How much do they cost? Where can I buy one?

Freaky, you're in luck! As a woman, you have one pre-installed, and at "that time of the month", it's even more powerful.


Also, to my mind sexuality refers to physical attraction and physical attraction alone. Most people are lucky enough that who they are physically attracted to and who they are romantically attracted to match up, but for those that don't, I'm happy to use the extra term.

FreakyLocz14 September 19th, 2011 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6854792)
Freaky, you're in luck! As a woman, you have one pre-installed, and at "that time of the month", it's even more powerful.


Also, to my mind sexuality refers to physical attraction and physical attraction alone. Most people are lucky enough that who they are physically attracted to and who they are romantically attracted to match up, but for those that don't, I'm happy to use the extra term.

Too bad my birth control medication causes me to only have four periods a year.

oocyst September 19th, 2011 10:02 AM

So many 'LGBTQIPAAOS' people here on these forums!

To me, sexuality is just physical attraction. Like Shining Raichu said, you're lucky when physical attraction and romantic attraction match up. I'm gay, I'm only physically attracted to men, but I can feel attracted to women for their personality (though it doesn't happen that much).

Squirrel September 19th, 2011 10:16 AM

I could get in on this... Joining. ^^

I reckon sexuality is mainly about sexual attraction but definitely does take emotions into account too. I'm a gay guy and am only really attracted sexually to guys. I've felt for women before in the past but never as anything more than a friend, and have only ever felt more than that towards guys. It just seems that sexual attraction isn't enough to define a sexuality... If that makes sense? You have to be able to love the person too, in my mind.

U.Flame September 19th, 2011 11:09 AM

I can't imagine being attracted to guys. I love everything physical about women!

Esper September 19th, 2011 11:18 AM

I was hoping some of these responses would help me word my own reply to the question I asked, but it’s still just as difficult to describe.

I sort of agree with Toujours that there’s a practical aspect to it. It doesn't feel right to call yourself something that you’re not, except I’m on the fence about whether I feel it’s more important to explain sexuality in terms of what you do or what you are. It’s common to say that sexuality means “attracted to _____” but does it apply if you’ve never acted on your attractions or accepted them? And with someone’s sexual identity, does one have to do something to be that identity or can they simply exist in it?

Like, say you're a guy and you were attracted physically to men, but you felt more comfortable actively engaged in relationships only with women. Are you gay because that's what your attractions are, regardless of what decisions you make? And is your identity completely subject to your biology then, or do you allow for personal decisions to be part of your identity? I don't like the idea of having my identity being completely out of my hands so I feel like there's got to be some level of choice involved in saying "I am _____."

Snow Phoenix September 19th, 2011 2:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6854792)
Also, to my mind sexuality refers to physical attraction and physical attraction alone. Most people are lucky enough that who they are physically attracted to and who they are romantically attracted to match up, but for those that don't, I'm happy to use the extra term.

AND THIS IS WHY ANDY IS SO SKETCHY @[email protected] My gosh ;.; Get a boyfriend :P


Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6855301)
I was hoping some of these responses would help me word my own reply to the question I asked, but it’s still just as difficult to describe.

I sort of agree with Toujours that there’s a practical aspect to it. It doesn't feel right to call yourself something that you’re not, except I’m on the fence about whether I feel it’s more important to explain sexuality in terms of what you do or what you are. It’s common to say that sexuality means “attracted to _____” but does it apply if you’ve never acted on your attractions or accepted them? And with someone’s sexual identity, does one have to do something to be that identity or can they simply exist in it?

Like, say you're a guy and you were attracted physically to men, but you felt more comfortable actively engaged in relationships only with women. Are you gay because that's what your attractions are, regardless of what decisions you make? And is your identity completely subject to your biology then, or do you allow for personal decisions to be part of your identity? I don't like the idea of having my identity being completely out of my hands so I feel like there's got to be some level of choice involved in saying "I am _____."

Exactly what confuses me sometimes @[email protected] I've enjoyed my relationship with all of the girlfriends I had. I just never wanted sex or really... any fluid exchange ^-^' From them. But, I personally realized that I was mostly using my ability to form "actively engaged" relationships as a cop out because I don't understand men and they scare me o.o' That's why I've decided to at least try men for a while. Maybe @[email protected] I have a conceptualized theory of what I'd like in a GUY at the very least :P

Shining Raichu September 19th, 2011 3:06 PM

Welcome, AlexOzzyCake!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snow Phoenix (Post 6855496)
AND THIS IS WHY ANDY IS SO SKETCHY @[email protected] My gosh ;.; Get a boyfriend :P

Huh? Sketchy...what? I don't understand lol. What do you mean?

Snow Phoenix September 19th, 2011 3:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6855565)
Welcome, AlexOzzyCake!!!



Huh? Sketchy...what? I don't understand lol. What do you mean?

Oh *hides* I was sure that I had at least another hour until Andy woke up from his bat cave :3 Nyeh... Is got a lot of esplaining to do the next time I see you on msn :3 We'll just keep it at that ;)

And welcome Mr. Cake guy :D *tends to be careless sometimes* I totally misssed that x3

-ty- September 19th, 2011 5:24 PM

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I tend to like more masculine men, but I think it is a MAJOR turn-off when they go on to say that they don't look or appear gay, and they hate how other gay's flaunt their sexuality by acting effeminate. I think that like other minorities, this group wants to put another group beneath them. We see it with other minority groups. I think that it reveals a lot of insecurity with the person's sexuality. I have not seen much with lesbians though. Has anyone heard of "straight acting" lesbians? Lipstick lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that they are actively against masculinity in woman. I guess us gay guys are more b**tchy and mean to each other, haha.

Snow Phoenix September 19th, 2011 5:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6855748)
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I tend to like more masculine men, but I think it is a MAJOR turn-off when they go on to say that they don't look or appear gay, and they hate how other gay's flaunt their sexuality by acting effeminate. I think that like other minorities, this group wants to put another group beneath them. We see it with other minority groups. I think that it reveals a lot of insecurity with the person's sexuality. I have not seen much with lesbians though. Has anyone heard of "straight acting" lesbians? Lipstick lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that they are actively against masculinity in woman. I guess us gay guys are more b**tchy and mean to each other, haha.

A lot of things here raised a few furs on my back. I quite frankly am one of those more masculine men xD Or supposively some type of "natural switch" thing or something o.o' But, my "masculinity" stems from my desire to be protective. I want to be strong so that I can back up my hubby and kids and so that I can take care of them. I'm also one of my school's poster child because I'll be graduating with 74 college hours and have a clear and distinctive collegiate path -.- And because of that pressure, I don't really get a chance to act "weak." I would never insult someone based on their own pride, although, I probably wouldn't go for a husband that's too effeminate ^-^' I like tough guys too ;.; Or goofy and plucky kiddos xD But, the point is that not all gays are jerks -.- Though I know plenty who are xD

And for the actual topic: Eh. It's how they choice to act. I won't question their reasoning for it because it's their own choice to act how they wish. Not my type of guy to stress something so unimportant (imo), but I can somewhat relate to wanting to act manly o.o Just because I like being manly and consider it a part of my character xD I just don't go out bragging about it and knocking others around o.o

Saturday's Child September 19th, 2011 6:32 PM

Hi, I'd like to join. OH, obvious intention is obvious. I'm all gay and stuff, and I love it. Short and sweet.

In response to the current topic:
Ugh..."straight-acting gay men?" ABSOLUTLEY annoys the hell out of me. I'm sorry, but if you're gay, you should know you're no less of a man as the next (straight) guy. Don't take it personally, but...yeah. That's it.

I'm done.

Alice September 19th, 2011 6:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6855748)
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I tend to like more masculine men, but I think it is a MAJOR turn-off when they go on to say that they don't look or appear gay, and they hate how other gay's flaunt their sexuality by acting effeminate. I think that like other minorities, this group wants to put another group beneath them. We see it with other minority groups. I think that it reveals a lot of insecurity with the person's sexuality. I have not seen much with lesbians though. Has anyone heard of "straight acting" lesbians? Lipstick lesbian doesn't necessarily mean that they are actively against masculinity in woman. I guess us gay guys are more b**tchy and mean to each other, haha.

I don't think you can really call that a 'group'. There are just a huge number of different personalities one can have, and being gay really doesn't change that, even if it does conflict with the general gay stereotype. I think that may be part of why people are like that too. They dislike the stereotype, and people who prove it to be true.

Side note:
I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

oocyst September 19th, 2011 10:02 PM

Oh I'd like to join by the way.

I can understand why people feel the need to point out that they're masculine. There have been situations where I've been considered less of a guy because I'm gay. Because of that I do sometimes get annoyed because some gay people act effeminate. Some people really are effeminate and I can respect that, but there are exceptions. I sometimes go to these meetings for gays under 18, and more than half of the guys there act b*tchy and I feel like they're being that way because of the stereotype that gay men are effeminate. I feel like they think it's easier to live towards the stereotype because that's how gay men are portrayed. The girls there usually act effeminate, there are a few exceptions to that but not as much as the guys.

Not trying to offend anyone

Renii September 19th, 2011 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6855853)
[...] I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

You won't believe how true this is and not just for kids, like my English teacher, she explained the meaning of 'pervert' as someone who is gay or effeminate =_=

On the topic of straight acting gays... I don't really think I can judge people by how they behave. I personally think that, while your sexuality does affect your behaviour, behaviour doesn't necessarily have to conform to a stereotype.
On the other hand, when guys (straight acting or straight) really go out of the way to prove their masculinity, it just shows how insecure they are.
For gay guys to do that, it is almost like being closeted.
I've had people tell me to stop acting gay, and to control my hand gestures because that is effeminate (back when I was closeted). It just isn't worth it, feels miserable to stop yourself from behaving in a way that you feel is natural.

Shining Raichu September 20th, 2011 3:32 AM

Welcome to Saturday's Child and Rednael!

Saturday's Child, I lol'd very hard at "I'm all gay and stuff" XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6855748)
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I think this all started from fighting stereotypes. The gay community (as a generalisation) became so obsessed with making the ignorant people think that we are not exactly as they think we are, so the more effeminate gay guys that do fit the stereotype began to even be looked down on by others in our very own community. That's my take on it anyway.

Other than that, I think it's no different to straight guys trying to affirm their masculinity. It speaks about insecurity more than anything else. I don't hate them for it; to each their own.

Briar September 20th, 2011 3:56 AM

hello, i would like to join. i guess you can call me genderqueer as i set my gender here as "male" instead of "female"... but that was a decision made on random. i'm not really genderqueer; just pansexual.

anyway...
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

hnnh. no.
i think personality has nothing to do with sexuality. so what if a gay man acts "straight" (i'm even surprised that this term can be interchanged with the term "masculine"), or effeminate? although i do understand that, since most gay men act effeminate, those who aren't [effeminate] want to free themselves from this stereotype; it can't be helped if people make assumptions about you with their only basis being your sexuality.

Snow Phoenix September 20th, 2011 4:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6856157)
Welcome to Saturday's Child and Rednael!

Saturday's Child, I lol'd very hard at "I'm all gay and stuff" XD



I think this all started from fighting stereotypes. The gay community (as a generalisation) became so obsessed with making the ignorant people think that we are not exactly as they think we are, so the more effeminate gay guys that do fit the stereotype began to even be looked down on by others in our very own community. That's my take on it anyway.

Other than that, I think it's no different to straight guys trying to affirm their masculinity. It speaks about insecurity more than anything else. I don't hate them for it; to each their own.

Ugh! That reminded me of an essay that I remembered reading in my English book on whether or not the legalization of gay marriage would be a good thing for the gay community. It touched on that. I tried finding it real quick this morning, but I ran out of time and could only find the essay from a few sketchy sources -.-

-ty- September 20th, 2011 6:21 AM

I think I should clarify a bit.

I prefer masculine men, but I don't like when they use the phrase "straight-acting".
I also do not like when they put down other gay men that are "effeminant" or transgender people. Basically the guys that put down everyone else to make themselves look more normative and acceptable.

But yeah, being masculine and accepting of all type of other LBGT people is completely fine, and is a turn-on. And as far as friends go, I don't like hanging out with other gay guys that feel the need to scrutinize other's sexuality and behaviors, because it just shows how negative and insecure they are.

Oryx September 20th, 2011 6:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6855853)
Side note:
I've noticed something rather annoying recently. Kids know nothing about Gays. At all. Every single one I've heard talk about the subject either knows absolutely nothing about it, or is extremely homophobic. Usually both. I know they're just kids, but that really reflects badly on their schools/parents. I don't really have a specific question based on this... it's just something that I noticed that annoys me.

Kids tend to know nothing about anything for the most part. Kids can make fun of the fat kid when they're 10 years old and then grow up a completely normal kid. Although part of it I would say is because LGBT issues are still somewhat viewed as "adult" topics, that have to be either ignored or tiptoed around for kids. When in reality, it should be just as naturally ingrained into a child as the idea of a heterosexual relationship.

Edit: Don't Ask Don't Tell was officially repealed at 12:01 AM today. Enjoy this image of a man who can finally stop lying about who he is and still defend his country.


Alternative September 20th, 2011 6:43 AM

With the current topic, I don't personally think that your traits, which may seem more common in your average straight man would show off your personality. Same thing for straight people who do things which are usually done by what we define as a stereotypical gay male. Your personality doesn't define your sexuality. But it seems like the question is asking what I think of people who try and wear these "straight" traits just to break the stereotype. My view on that alone would be don't let other people decide who you should be. If people really cared, they'd want you to be you, gay traits or not, rather than someone who isn't into those sorts of things.

confused myself there

Now if you don't mind, I would like to ask a question for those people who would fit the "ally" part better, since we're not all gay here, and some of us stand up for their rights.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

-ty- September 20th, 2011 6:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alternative (Post 6856333)
With the current topic, I don't personally think that your traits, which may seem more common in your average straight man would show off your personality. Same thing for straight people who do things which are usually done by what we define as a stereotypical gay male. Your personality doesn't define your sexuality. But it seems like the question is asking what I think of people who try and wear these "straight" traits just to break the stereotype. My view on that alone would be don't let other people decide who you should be. If people really cared, they'd want you to be you, gay traits or not, rather than someone who isn't into those sorts of things.

confused myself there

Now if you don't mind, I would like to ask a question for those people who would fit the "ally" part better, since we're not all gay here, and some of us stand up for their rights.

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

I would not draw the line, well unless they invited me to an orgy :/

Squirrel September 20th, 2011 7:22 AM

Haha, thanks people! To the topic on hand, I agree with -ty- that gay guys who assert their masculinity like that are pretty much a turn-off, although not always. It can sometimes be attractive having such a manly vibe to them... Yowsers ;3 Even so, effeminate guys do it more for me, it's a mixture of their bodies and their behaviour... They almost seem to need someone rather than want someone - if that makes sense. Of course that's a huge generalisation, but I'm mainly talking from the experience of guys I've met and how they've acted. I don't think there's any real reason to act like that unless it's who you actually are, but it's certainly never okay to make fun of others for their personalities.

By the way - is 'ofcourse' a word...? :L

deoxys121 September 20th, 2011 7:38 AM

How far would you go for supporting a friend who is gay? Like if they were going to a gay bar for the first time and wanted you for moral support, or they invited you to a Marty Gras parade. Where do you draw the line?

Being not gay myself, I obviously would have to draw the line somewhere. As far as the going to a gay bar, I would have to make it clear that I am only there for moral support, that I am straight, and that I am already in a relationship. With the Mardi Gras parade, I would do that, too, no question. As far as where would I draw the line... if they start to get "into it," I'm leaving the room.

Esper September 20th, 2011 8:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toujours (Post 6856330)
Kids tend to know nothing about anything for the most part. Kids can make fun of the fat kid when they're 10 years old and then grow up a completely normal kid. Although part of it I would say is because LGBT issues are still somewhat viewed as "adult" topics, that have to be either ignored or tiptoed around for kids. When in reality, it should be just as naturally ingrained into a child as the idea of a heterosexual relationship.

Yeah, kids are just ignorant about lots of things so I wouldn't be too upset if they're ignorant about... anything. I bet you could ask them about what heterosexual couples are or something like that and you'd get lots of weird and incorrect answers there, too.

And DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell) is gone now in America. I guess that's good news. I don't personally care much about the military and don't know anyone in it so it's not as meaningful to me as something like a repeal of DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) would be. And while I'm throwing out acronyms I'll just mention how ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) ought to become law here in the States even though I'm lucky to be in one of the states that already bans discrimination based on orientation and identity and it wouldn't change things for me, but at least others, especially those living in the not-as-good parts of the country would get that protection.

Kura September 20th, 2011 8:52 AM

How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

Esper September 20th, 2011 9:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kura (Post 6856468)
Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

Shining Raichu sort of brought this up, how there's a general vibe around the gay community to show the world that "hey, we're just like you" and that some people took this message to its extreme. I dunno, I won't judge someone for wanting to assimilate into the dominant culture if they want to. I just hope it's not because they feel they have to.

FreakyLocz14 September 20th, 2011 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kura (Post 6856468)
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

Being gay should not be about an act. I don't understand people (gay or straight) who go out of their way to pretend they're someone that they're not. Why don't they just be themselves?

"Straight-acting" is an unfortunate term that refers to homosexual or bisexual men that simply don't act in a stereotypical "gay" way. They're not necessarily going out of their way to act that way. That's how the majority of guys who like guys are. They are being themselves.

twistedpuppy September 20th, 2011 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ty- (Post 6855748)
How do you feel about self-proclaimed "straight-acting" gay guys who go out of their way to explain or show that they are manly, not effeminate, and even show disdain for transgender related things? Are they trying to seem less pejorative?

I don't know. It feels like they're mimicing the same behavior as a stereotypical effeminate gay man would. Doesn't make them any more attractive or acceptable in behavior in my eyes. They just need to chill & not let society dictate who they should be. Although I have to be honest, I've never run into this type of person.


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