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To be honest I don't think I'll ever be convinced that you can become gay. I had a similar experience to QuilavaKing in that I grew up in a homophobic household. It wasn't seriously homophobic in the "gay people are abominations and must die" sense, but it was just vaguely homophobic in the "ew they have buttsex" sense and of course, when you're a kid you just take on the opinions of your parents. It was watching Will & Grace that made me realise that there was nothing wrong with being gay and really normalised the idea.
So when I was 12 and discovered I was gay, it really wasn't all that big of a deal to me. But that doesn't mean I credit Will & Grace for influencing my sexuality. Now, everybody's experience is different so I will try to keep an open mind, but there are any number of explanations for those people who realise they are gay later than most, and I'm more inclined to believe any of those than their sexuality 'changing'. I do agree that the idea that we could 'choose' to be gay is harmful to the community in all the ways Scarf said - though the two issues are not the same thing, so I don't think that the arguments as to why we wouldn't want to believe that people can choose to be gay really apply all that well to whether we believe people can become LGBT later. |
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Besides, it may not be a choice to be attracted to someone of the same sex, but you do still have free will to choose whether or not you actually sleep with someone of the same sex, so it benefits everyone to stop caring whether or not it's a choice. |
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My grandmother, on the other hand, is still expecting me to get married and have children. But my grandmother is very narrow-minded in her views on people. Quote:
I do like what Scarf said. And since my command of English isn't the best, I'll leave it at that for now. |
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Up until I joined PC, I literally had zero contact with any LGBT people. I was raised in a Christian home, and genuinely believed that Gays were evil. Once I was exposed to them for the first time, I realized... hey they're normal people just like me... but I was still fairly homophobic. After awhile I started to think, why is it so wrong? They're just normal people, and as far as I can tell what they're doing isn't really any different. But I'm still a Christian so I can't support their lifestyle. (I remember thinking this exactly, when people were talking about joining the GSA at school.) After graduating from high school at some point, while talking to my mom about it (she talked to me about religion all the time, to make sure I would stay Christian I guess) I decided that there was nothing wrong with it, and that we're wrong to hate gays. Whether they go to hell or not, we don't have the right to treat them badly. Now, throughout all of this, I'm still 100% straight, and had never once thought about being gay or bi myself. This progression just continued until I eventually found myself noticing guys here and there. And it wasn't until I met a friend online, when I was planning to go to anime expo last summer, that I truly felt something for a guy. I found myself wishing I could ask him out, but I was still straight in my mind. A couple months and a lot of confusion later, I started posting in this thread, and here I am now. I know this was kind of long and pointless, but since no one seems to believe me, I want to explain as well as possible. Plus, I kind of feel like some of you don’t want to accept that others did choose/change because it undermines your own belief of what a sexuality is… and this may sound really weird to you, but I don't even really think there is such thing as a sexuality. It's just a label we made up to understand it better. Your sexuality is really more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy ball of... stuff, that is never set in stone, until you set it there yourself. Which is why I think all three ways of 'obtaining'(couldn't think of a better word lol) your sexuality are possibilities. (This seriously took me like 2 hours to type by the way... and I kind of want to take out that last bit... but I can't bring myself to delete the Doctor Who reference. lol) |
Hey Quilava.. I'm curious. During your straight period, as you so put it.. did you actually like girls? Or were you like a "meh" towards them? ._.
Just wondering .O.;; [/randomquestion] |
Well, I'm actually still more or less bi now, not truly Gay, but yes, I did.
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:3 Ah okay~ I was curious~
.O. I don't know if you guys remember Paul (Pokejungle) but I knew him when he was still in the closet.. and back then I remember him genuinely liking girls. Now he leans towards guys.. (not sure if he's fully gay now) so I was curious about you, Quils :3 Thanks for sharing <3 |
I personally think this would have been a perfect opportunity to come out. Not only was it an opening to the subject, but it would have also shocked them and shut them right up. It could have been a glorious moment lol.
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Also, gay men can't donate blood? 0__0 But...but...;__; |
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Whoops! Need another transfusion! You know, with this logic, it's shocking they haven't come to the conclusion that a gay man's blood increases a straight woman's libido. Quote:
I'll just take a nice quote from the BBC report regarding the latter 3 countries. Quote:
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Yepyep, the lesbian blood they gave me did that to me too. Quote:
"We're just coming out and saying it: it's okay for a straight guy to have sex with multiple women all over the place and possibly spread any number of diseases from a veritable myriad of possible sources; however, gay men who are not promiscuous and are in a committed relationship and would probably know by now if they had STDs . . . well, their blood is off limits." |
I saw this and figured I'd post it here:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/minor_differences2/6.png |
I laughed so hard at "gargantuan bucket of penises" lmao.
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My sister and I saw a funny scene in American Dad:
Snott: "Who cares what pizza we order!? Barry's just gonna eat it all anyways!" Barry: "Stop saying factual statements at me like they're insults!" Then my sister said "I'm going to say that whenever someone calls me gay." |
I'm really happy but really depressed at the same time. T_T
Spoiler contains slightly (if not very) disturbing/creepy story. Spoiler:
So, yeah, if you survived that, I could really use a hug, or a slap in the face right now. (I had to resist performing the latter myself in the car, though one reason was to stay awake.) |
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It sounds like you look up to him quite a bit, maybe a little bit more than you should, which isn't really that surprising, considering he's your older brother.
I mean, obviously there isn't much you can do in that situation... nor should you try, but I don't think it's anything you should beat yourself up over either. |
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TornZero, nobody will judge you here. Your story wasn't creepy or disturbing whatsoever, in fact I thought it was sweet. It made me want a big brother like that lol.
I'm not exactly sure what I'd do about your problem though. I certainly wouldn't admit that you have feelings beyond the brotherly for him because he might find that weird, but I think it would take a lot for him to lose respect for you. |
I don't believe your experience is a unique one TornZero. I don't doubt that other people of your orientation and similar do occasionally find themselves in similar situations.
I suppose all you really can do is try to bring something to keep your mind off of it. Barring that, you could always spark up an intelligent debate-like discussion that you know can keep your mind in a mode other than falling to mush. xD Believe it or not you have it harder because you're the younger one and you look up to him. But if you use a little creative emotional redirection you can probably avoid doing anything embarrassing. >_> |
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My suggestion is to maybe try and show some subtle affection or admiration. Nothing too big. It's perfectly fine, I mean he's your brother and you've missed him. I think maybe this would loosen the tension a bit. Also what Pachi said about distracting yourself is good too. |
I have a question:
Do you think that all people who oppose all or certain LGBT rights/liberties inherently hate LGBT people? |
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