The PokéCommunity Forums

The PokéCommunity Forums (https://www.pokecommunity.com/index.php)
-   Fan Clubs & Groups (https://www.pokecommunity.com/forumdisplay.php?f=73)
-   -   The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club] (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=252766)

Shining Raichu October 26th, 2011 3:08 PM

To be honest I don't think I'll ever be convinced that you can become gay. I had a similar experience to QuilavaKing in that I grew up in a homophobic household. It wasn't seriously homophobic in the "gay people are abominations and must die" sense, but it was just vaguely homophobic in the "ew they have buttsex" sense and of course, when you're a kid you just take on the opinions of your parents. It was watching Will & Grace that made me realise that there was nothing wrong with being gay and really normalised the idea.

So when I was 12 and discovered I was gay, it really wasn't all that big of a deal to me. But that doesn't mean I credit Will & Grace for influencing my sexuality. Now, everybody's experience is different so I will try to keep an open mind, but there are any number of explanations for those people who realise they are gay later than most, and I'm more inclined to believe any of those than their sexuality 'changing'.

I do agree that the idea that we could 'choose' to be gay is harmful to the community in all the ways Scarf said - though the two issues are not the same thing, so I don't think that the arguments as to why we wouldn't want to believe that people can choose to be gay really apply all that well to whether we believe people can become LGBT later.

Ineffable~ October 26th, 2011 6:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6904921)
And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity.

This I think is a very important thing to regard, since technically, yes, transition is a choice (I have known a handful of people to choose not to transition--it is right for some people, not right for most, but there are still people who don't transition and are okay with it). Which is why I agree that we should regard it as "I don't care if it's a choice." I mean, I don't at all believe I ever chose to be trans or to be attracted to other women, but I don't hate myself and I don't hate my gender expression or my sexuality, so I wouldn't "opt out of" these things even if I could.

Besides, it may not be a choice to be attracted to someone of the same sex, but you do still have free will to choose whether or not you actually sleep with someone of the same sex, so it benefits everyone to stop caring whether or not it's a choice.

Astinus October 26th, 2011 9:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6903669)
So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?

I'm very fortunate that my parents openly embrace me being childfree. They've known for years (even before I did) that I would never have children. Now that I've admitted it to them, they're quite happy about it. My mother's one of those who considers my pets her "grandchildren" and my father doesn't care.

My grandmother, on the other hand, is still expecting me to get married and have children. But my grandmother is very narrow-minded in her views on people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 (Post 6904324)
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?

I think that they just don't realize it or aren't willing to accept it.

I do like what Scarf said. And since my command of English isn't the best, I'll leave it at that for now.

Melody October 26th, 2011 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6904921)
Your "flawlessly straight" caught my attention. Kinda awesome description.



Seconded. But I feel I know why some wouldn't want to believe this.

If you were "born this way" that's your own experience and it would be kind of natural to assume that others have gone through a similar experience, especially since most people you talk to, regardless of their sexuality, will tell you that they have always been how they are.

More than that though, I think it's seen as a dangerous idea by many a queer person because it's seen to give fuel to the anti-gay crowd. They (the anti-gay groups) will say that if it's a choice then people should not choose it and that choosing it makes you a pervert or whatever else they would call you.

There's an underlying assumption to the "it's not a choice" stance which, sort of, kind of, plays into the anti-gay crowd's views. When you say "I didn't have a choice!" you sound defensive, like what you are is something bad, which is unfortunate, but nothing you should be punished for.

If more people took a "So what if I did choose?" approach - regardless of whether they did or not - then that would send a stronger message. It would say: "What this is isn't something bad so it doesn't matter how someone got to be how they are." It would be more inclusive, too, because it would make it easier for someone who was curious or unsure of their sexuality to accept themselves and have others accept them if it turned out they were only just curious. And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity. To be perfectly honest, the whole "it's not a choice" thing seems very homosexual-specific and maybe not the best line for other people who are queer, but not gay.

Of course this is ~just my opinion~ so feel free to argue with me.

Therein lies the problem. People are afraid of giving the phobic ones any fuel. I for one think that it's wrong to do that, we should be educating the ignorant ones, not sugarcoating things. However it is very true that someone "Choosing" to be gay is exceedingly rare. Mostly because 9/10 times it requires you to be that way anyway and have the instinct of wanting the same gender to make one realize they're "Not straight". You have to be exceedingly open minded to achieve it, and most people are NOT that way, as evidenced in this thread. I do believe QuilavaKing became that way, and it's true he may THINK he just choose it but there might have been a predisposition there anyway which was simply denied and supressed when he was around the homophobes. People can do very amazing things when it comes to love, and this also affects love for family. He might have just never thought about being gay because his family would have had trouble accepting it. But it's still equally possible, but probably improbable, that he did choose it. And I say again, So What if he did?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6904984)
Personally, I think it would be a little more accepting. Like it would make it easier to accept people who like to cross-dress some of the time, people who might otherwise feel alienated from the heterosexual crowd and not exactly a part of the queer crowd.

And the "What if I did choose?" line is more of something I would use with someone if I really wanted to make a point. I wouldn't expect everyone to use it. It's really no different than saying "There's nothing wrong with being gay" or whatever is more comfortable for you.

It's true. I say that to make a point. My point being that we shouldn't let the homophobic people dominate things at any turn. We shouldn't give them any indication that their rude behavior affects us. It's like dealing with a bully or troll, ignore them and they eventually lay off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6905106)
To be honest I don't think I'll ever be convinced that you can become gay. I had a similar experience to QuilavaKing in that I grew up in a homophobic household. It wasn't seriously homophobic in the "gay people are abominations and must die" sense, but it was just vaguely homophobic in the "ew they have buttsex" sense and of course, when you're a kid you just take on the opinions of your parents. It was watching Will & Grace that made me realise that there was nothing wrong with being gay and really normalised the idea.

So when I was 12 and discovered I was gay, it really wasn't all that big of a deal to me. But that doesn't mean I credit Will & Grace for influencing my sexuality. Now, everybody's experience is different so I will try to keep an open mind, but there are any number of explanations for those people who realise they are gay later than most, and I'm more inclined to believe any of those than their sexuality 'changing'.

I do agree that the idea that we could 'choose' to be gay is harmful to the community in all the ways Scarf said - though the two issues are not the same thing, so I don't think that the arguments as to why we wouldn't want to believe that people can choose to be gay really apply all that well to whether we believe people can become LGBT later.

Actually they're related in one small way. My point in this is that because of the "apparent harm" that the ideal of "choosing to be" gay could have, people who actually claim to have or believe they have chosen it are treated with less acceptance. My evidence in point, being how you reacted to QuilavaKing when he said he 'Chose' it. I for one believe that even if he DIDN'T choose it and doesn't realize it yet, that it's somewhat a good sign to see from someone who is emerging as LGBT, because it signals their acceptance. I'm kind of disappointed to see that you seem so doubtful about people actually being happy about 'choosing' it, or coming to the realization that they are this way if that's indeed the case as it normally is.

Alice October 27th, 2011 1:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pachy (Post 6905482)
QuilavaKing when he said he 'Chose' it.

I didn't actually say that I chose it. I don't think very many people genuinely choose their sexuality.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reddit (Post 6905020)
That's a textbook case of being in denial of your sexuality, it makes no sense - and there is a strong credible argument that it's against the very nature of humans - for someone who is homophobic and believes they are straight to go "JK I LIKE MEN".

It wasn't a sudden change at all... in fact, I think I can explain exactly how it happened.

Up until I joined PC, I literally had zero contact with any LGBT people. I was raised in a Christian home, and genuinely believed that Gays were evil.

Once I was exposed to them for the first time, I realized... hey they're normal people just like me... but I was still fairly homophobic.

After awhile I started to think, why is it so wrong? They're just normal people, and as far as I can tell what they're doing isn't really any different. But I'm still a Christian so I can't support their lifestyle. (I remember thinking this exactly, when people were talking about joining the GSA at school.)

After graduating from high school at some point, while talking to my mom about it (she talked to me about religion all the time, to make sure I would stay Christian I guess) I decided that there was nothing wrong with it, and that we're wrong to hate gays. Whether they go to hell or not, we don't have the right to treat them badly.

Now, throughout all of this, I'm still 100% straight, and had never once thought about being gay or bi myself.

This progression just continued until I eventually found myself noticing guys here and there. And it wasn't until I met a friend online, when I was planning to go to anime expo last summer, that I truly felt something for a guy. I found myself wishing I could ask him out, but I was still straight in my mind. A couple months and a lot of confusion later, I started posting in this thread, and here I am now.


I know this was kind of long and pointless, but since no one seems to believe me, I want to explain as well as possible. Plus, I kind of feel like some of you don’t want to accept that others did choose/change because it undermines your own belief of what a sexuality is… and this may sound really weird to you, but I don't even really think there is such thing as a sexuality. It's just a label we made up to understand it better. Your sexuality is really more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy ball of... stuff, that is never set in stone, until you set it there yourself. Which is why I think all three ways of 'obtaining'(couldn't think of a better word lol) your sexuality are possibilities.


(This seriously took me like 2 hours to type by the way... and I kind of want to take out that last bit... but I can't bring myself to delete the Doctor Who reference. lol)

Kura October 27th, 2011 1:50 AM

Hey Quilava.. I'm curious. During your straight period, as you so put it.. did you actually like girls? Or were you like a "meh" towards them? ._.
Just wondering .O.;; [/randomquestion]

Alice October 27th, 2011 2:07 AM

Well, I'm actually still more or less bi now, not truly Gay, but yes, I did.

Kura October 27th, 2011 2:24 AM

:3 Ah okay~ I was curious~
.O. I don't know if you guys remember Paul (Pokejungle) but I knew him when he was still in the closet.. and back then I remember him genuinely liking girls. Now he leans towards guys.. (not sure if he's fully gay now) so I was curious about you, Quils :3 Thanks for sharing <3

Shining Raichu October 27th, 2011 5:17 AM

I personally think this would have been a perfect opportunity to come out. Not only was it an opening to the subject, but it would have also shocked them and shut them right up. It could have been a glorious moment lol.

-Jared- October 27th, 2011 6:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6905574)
I didn't actually say that I chose it. I don't think very many people genuinely choose their sexuality.


It wasn't a sudden change at all... in fact, I think I can explain exactly how it happened.

Up until I joined PC, I literally had zero contact with any LGBT people. I was raised in a Christian home, and genuinely believed that Gays were evil.

Once I was exposed to them for the first time, I realized... hey they're normal people just like me... but I was still fairly homophobic.

After awhile I started to think, why is it so wrong? They're just normal people, and as far as I can tell what they're doing isn't really any different. But I'm still a Christian so I can't support their lifestyle. (I remember thinking this exactly, when people were talking about joining the GSA at school.)

After graduating from high school at some point, while talking to my mom about it (she talked to me about religion all the time, to make sure I would stay Christian I guess) I decided that there was nothing wrong with it, and that we're wrong to hate gays. Whether they go to hell or not, we don't have the right to treat them badly.

Now, throughout all of this, I'm still 100% straight, and had never once thought about being gay or bi myself.

This progression just continued until I eventually found myself noticing guys here and there. And it wasn't until I met a friend online, when I was planning to go to anime expo last summer, that I truly felt something for a guy. I found myself wishing I could ask him out, but I was still straight in my mind. A couple months and a lot of confusion later, I started posting in this thread, and here I am now.


I know this was kind of long and pointless, but since no one seems to believe me, I want to explain as well as possible. Plus, I kind of feel like some of you don’t want to accept that others did choose/change because it undermines your own belief of what a sexuality is… and this may sound really weird to you, but I don't even really think there is such thing as a sexuality. It's just a label we made up to understand it better. Your sexuality is really more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy ball of... stuff, that is never set in stone, until you set it there yourself. Which is why I think all three ways of 'obtaining'(couldn't think of a better word lol) your sexuality are possibilities.


(This seriously took me like 2 hours to type by the way... and I kind of want to take out that last bit... but I can't bring myself to delete the Doctor Who reference. lol)

That really makes a lot of sense. I actually did kind of believe you, but I couldn't wrap my mind around how it could possibly work. But this does make sense to me. Also, epic Doctor Who Reference. xD

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6905711)
oh, something happened at school today. Let me vent.

I was considering coming out to my group of friends over the past week, and I was going to finally do it, but I didn't. The first lesson of the day was English, and we had to make a movie. I was the only person man enough to play the Crazy Pidgeon Lady, and the girls covered me in makeup. Like, tons. I don't know what it was, but I looked like a hot drag queen.

Anyways, we didn't even film, but I washed off the makeup before recess and sat at the group. Of course, they heard, and one of my close friends said, "so, are you officially gay now, Adrian?"
It was not a question, but an insult. And considering she had a secret homosexual relationship I really don't see how she can have any right to say that. I just laughed, but one of my friends was sitting next to me, and I had already came out to them. Lucky they didn't say anything, but yeah.

And during English I found out that gay men can't donate blood. My teacher was shocked, but some kid snorted and replied "Good." Luckily my teacher is an awesome open-minded individual and put him in his place. But then it made me rethink all of this, because frankly being gay and wearing makeup for a play is the equivalent to painting a bullseye on my back.

I agree with SR. xD You totally should have said "Yeah I am! Problem?" and mimicked a troll face. xD

Also, gay men can't donate blood? 0__0 But...but...;__;

Esper October 27th, 2011 9:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6905574)
Now, throughout all of this, I'm still 100% straight, and had never once thought about being gay or bi myself.

This progression just continued until I eventually found myself noticing guys here and there. And it wasn't until I met a friend online, when I was planning to go to anime expo last summer, that I truly felt something for a guy. I found myself wishing I could ask him out, but I was still straight in my mind. A couple months and a lot of confusion later, I started posting in this thread, and here I am now.


I know this was kind of long and pointless, but since no one seems to believe me, I want to explain as well as possible. Plus, I kind of feel like some of you don’t want to accept that others did choose/change because it undermines your own belief of what a sexuality is… and this may sound really weird to you, but I don't even really think there is such thing as a sexuality. It's just a label we made up to understand it better. Your sexuality is really more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy ball of... stuff, that is never set in stone, until you set it there yourself. Which is why I think all three ways of 'obtaining'(couldn't think of a better word lol) your sexuality are possibilities.


(This seriously took me like 2 hours to type by the way... and I kind of want to take out that last bit... but I can't bring myself to delete the Doctor Who reference. lol)

Glad you didn't remove the reference. And I believe you. If you say you were straight before and not now then who am I to disagree? It's your life, your experience. I don't think that if someone were "acting" straight before coming out as gay that they were necessarily acting. Some might have been, but some might not have been. I think we should respect someone's sexuality and not say "Well, you weren't really straight then. You were just confused." And even then, if someone did happen to be confused I think that can be valid, too. No need to call someone out for not being "genuine" or anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impo (Post 6905711)
oh, something happened at school today. Let me vent.

I was considering coming out to my group of friends over the past week, and I was going to finally do it, but I didn't. The first lesson of the day was English, and we had to make a movie. I was the only person man enough to play the Crazy Pidgeon Lady, and the girls covered me in makeup. Like, tons. I don't know what it was, but I looked like a hot drag queen.

Anyways, we didn't even film, but I washed off the makeup before recess and sat at the group. Of course, they heard, and one of my close friends said, "so, are you officially gay now, Adrian?"
It was not a question, but an insult. And considering she had a secret homosexual relationship I really don't see how she can have any right to say that. I just laughed, but one of my friends was sitting next to me, and I had already came out to them. Lucky they didn't say anything, but yeah.

And during English I found out that gay men can't donate blood. My teacher was shocked, but some kid snorted and replied "Good." Luckily my teacher is an awesome open-minded individual and put him in his place. But then it made me rethink all of this, because frankly being gay and wearing makeup for a play is the equivalent to painting a bullseye on my back.

It sounds like you might have a bullseye already there if people know you wore makeup. Do you think things would change if you came out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pikapal642 (Post 6905789)
Also, gay men can't donate blood? 0__0 But...but...;__;

I think, technically, in the US at least, it's only a ban on "men who have had sexual intercourse with another man." But of course I wouldn't expect the people at the blood donation tents to make that distinction since they wouldn't want to risk their jobs by collecting the ~gay~ blood even if it happened to be virgin gay blood.

Ineffable~ October 27th, 2011 9:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu (Post 6905733)
I personally think this would have been a perfect opportunity to come out. Not only was it an opening to the subject, but it would have also shocked them and shut them right up. It could have been a glorious moment lol.

I agree with this. That's actually exactly the kind of thing I would do, haha.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6905955)
But of course I wouldn't expect the people at the blood donation tents to make that distinction since they wouldn't want to risk their jobs by collecting the ~gay~ blood even if it happened to be virgin gay blood.

Yeah, that's how I ended up catching it. They need better regulations on that stuff.

TornZero October 27th, 2011 9:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarf (Post 6905955)
But of course I wouldn't expect the people at the blood donation tents to make that distinction since they wouldn't want to risk their jobs by collecting the ~gay~ blood even if it happened to be virgin gay blood.

You know you can get schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder through gay blood, too? Their blood starts talking to you and telling you to go out to pick up men and everything. Then your straight-arrow blood starts getting homophobic on the gay blood and kills it like it's a disease.

Whoops! Need another transfusion!

You know, with this logic, it's shocking they haven't come to the conclusion that a gay man's blood increases a straight woman's libido.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pikapal642 (Post 6905789)
Also, gay men can't donate blood? 0__0 But...but...;__;

As Scarf said, in the US and some other places (specifically Australia, Japan and Sweden), gay men can only donate blood if they haven't had sex with another man in at least a year. As of November 7th this year, England, Scotland and Wales will have the same restrictions.

I'll just take a nice quote from the BBC report regarding the latter 3 countries.

Quote:

The gay rights group Stonewall said the move was a "step in the right direction".

However, its chief executive Ben Summerskill said there would still be tighter controls on low-risk gay men than on high-risk heterosexuals.

"A gay man in a monogamous relationship who has only had oral sex will still automatically be unable to give blood but a heterosexual man who has had multiple partners and not worn a condom will not be questioned about his behaviour, or even then, excluded."
This doesn't exactly seem like it's going in the "right direction" here, since anyone managing blood donation appears to trust disease-ridden heterosexuals over clean homosexuals (no offense to the clean heterosexuals, of course).

Reddit October 27th, 2011 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6905574)
I didn't actually say that I chose it. I don't think very many people genuinely choose their sexuality.


It wasn't a sudden change at all... in fact, I think I can explain exactly how it happened.

Up until I joined PC, I literally had zero contact with any LGBT people. I was raised in a Christian home, and genuinely believed that Gays were evil.

Once I was exposed to them for the first time, I realized... hey they're normal people just like me... but I was still fairly homophobic.

After awhile I started to think, why is it so wrong? They're just normal people, and as far as I can tell what they're doing isn't really any different. But I'm still a Christian so I can't support their lifestyle. (I remember thinking this exactly, when people were talking about joining the GSA at school.)

After graduating from high school at some point, while talking to my mom about it (she talked to me about religion all the time, to make sure I would stay Christian I guess) I decided that there was nothing wrong with it, and that we're wrong to hate gays. Whether they go to hell or not, we don't have the right to treat them badly.

Now, throughout all of this, I'm still 100% straight, and had never once thought about being gay or bi myself.

This progression just continued until I eventually found myself noticing guys here and there. And it wasn't until I met a friend online, when I was planning to go to anime expo last summer, that I truly felt something for a guy. I found myself wishing I could ask him out, but I was still straight in my mind. A couple months and a lot of confusion later, I started posting in this thread, and here I am now.


I know this was kind of long and pointless, but since no one seems to believe me, I want to explain as well as possible. Plus, I kind of feel like some of you don’t want to accept that others did choose/change because it undermines your own belief of what a sexuality is… and this may sound really weird to you, but I don't even really think there is such thing as a sexuality. It's just a label we made up to understand it better. Your sexuality is really more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy ball of... stuff, that is never set in stone, until you set it there yourself. Which is why I think all three ways of 'obtaining'(couldn't think of a better word lol) your sexuality are possibilities.


(This seriously took me like 2 hours to type by the way... and I kind of want to take out that last bit... but I can't bring myself to delete the Doctor Who reference. lol)

Oh, okay! Sorry! I completely misunderstood you. I thought you were trying to say you completely chose to. ;o; I'm stupid sometimes.

Ineffable~ October 27th, 2011 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TornZero (Post 6905991)
You know you can get schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder through gay blood, too? Their blood starts talking to you and telling you to go out to pick up men and everything.


Yepyep, the lesbian blood they gave me did that to me too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TornZero (Post 6905991)
I'll just take a nice quote from the BBC report regarding the latter 3 countries.

Usually people are wise enough to mask the actual significance of what they're saying, but that wording was really surprisingly to the point.
"We're just coming out and saying it: it's okay for a straight guy to have sex with multiple women all over the place and possibly spread any number of diseases from a veritable myriad of possible sources; however, gay men who are not promiscuous and are in a committed relationship and would probably know by now if they had STDs . . . well, their blood is off limits."

Kura October 27th, 2011 1:49 PM

I saw this and figured I'd post it here:

http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/minor_differences2/6.png

Shining Raichu October 27th, 2011 4:06 PM

I laughed so hard at "gargantuan bucket of penises" lmao.

U.Flame October 27th, 2011 9:16 PM

My sister and I saw a funny scene in American Dad:
Snott: "Who cares what pizza we order!? Barry's just gonna eat it all anyways!"
Barry: "Stop saying factual statements at me like they're insults!"

Then my sister said "I'm going to say that whenever someone calls me gay."

TornZero October 27th, 2011 11:34 PM

I'm really happy but really depressed at the same time. T_T

Spoiler contains slightly (if not very) disturbing/creepy story.

Spoiler:
My older brother, who's really shaped up since joining the Air Force, finally came to visit before he gets deployed. He's a great guy, a gamer, respectable, etc. He's pretty much an awesome person, even in love as I've mentioned in an earlier post; he's in a pretty committed relationship right now.

The problem is that since he started planning for a military life and I was exploring my sexuality and general mental state (about 3-4 years ago), I started seeing him as more than my big brother. I'm not an incestuous person and I focus on his personality, so I don't see him sexually, but (arguably) romantically. I've ended up wishing that he'd see me as more than just his little brother at the same time. (Obviously, not as a lover, it just wouldn't feel right.) So far, this feeling's persisted and gotten somewhat worse in activity.

Ways I've found myself imagining going about making it happen involved displays of affection. For example, and this one really ate at me today since I didn't have any music to distract me, I was stuck between my brothers for over half an hour in a car (more than long enough for me to end up taking a short nap when I'm not the one driving) and kept thinking how comfy it would be to sleep against him with my head on his shoulder.


So, yeah, if you survived that, I could really use a hug, or a slap in the face right now. (I had to resist performing the latter myself in the car, though one reason was to stay awake.)

Alice October 27th, 2011 11:59 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It sounds like you look up to him quite a bit, maybe a little bit more than you should, which isn't really that surprising, considering he's your older brother.

I mean, obviously there isn't much you can do in that situation... nor should you try, but I don't think it's anything you should beat yourself up over either.

TornZero October 28th, 2011 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilavaKing (Post 6906912)
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It sounds like you look up to him quite a bit, maybe a little bit more than you should, which isn't really that surprising, considering he's your older brother.

I mean, obviously there isn't much you can do in that situation... nor should you try, but I don't think it's anything you should beat yourself up over either.

It's not that I beat myself up over how I see him (though I do try repressing it back to the "brotherly love" view), but that I have to keep myself from being able to show it how I want to without the moderate risk of losing the respect he has for me in accepting who/what I am.

Shining Raichu October 28th, 2011 4:18 AM

TornZero, nobody will judge you here. Your story wasn't creepy or disturbing whatsoever, in fact I thought it was sweet. It made me want a big brother like that lol.

I'm not exactly sure what I'd do about your problem though. I certainly wouldn't admit that you have feelings beyond the brotherly for him because he might find that weird, but I think it would take a lot for him to lose respect for you.

Melody October 28th, 2011 7:10 AM

I don't believe your experience is a unique one TornZero. I don't doubt that other people of your orientation and similar do occasionally find themselves in similar situations.

I suppose all you really can do is try to bring something to keep your mind off of it. Barring that, you could always spark up an intelligent debate-like discussion that you know can keep your mind in a mode other than falling to mush. xD

Believe it or not you have it harder because you're the younger one and you look up to him. But if you use a little creative emotional redirection you can probably avoid doing anything embarrassing. >_>

Ineffable~ October 28th, 2011 5:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TornZero (Post 6906892)
So, yeah, if you survived that, I could really use a hug, or a slap in the face right now.

-Big hugz-
My suggestion is to maybe try and show some subtle affection or admiration. Nothing too big. It's perfectly fine, I mean he's your brother and you've missed him.
I think maybe this would loosen the tension a bit.
Also what Pachi said about distracting yourself is good too.

FreakyLocz14 October 28th, 2011 9:22 PM

I have a question:

Do you think that all people who oppose all or certain LGBT rights/liberties inherently hate LGBT people?


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:20 AM.


Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter © 2002 - 2018 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2016 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.

Acknowledgements
Use of PokéCommunity Assets
vB Optimise by DragonByte Technologies Ltd © 2023.