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-   -   The Hardest Choice I’ve Ever Had To Make (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=261393)

MisterBlue92 August 29th, 2011 5:23 PM

The Hardest Choice I’ve Ever Had To Make
 
Just a short little poem about choosing your starter:
__________________

Today a new world was planted around me
When I awoke the sun shined so brighter
I was greeted with a new world’s reign
And the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make

Will you ignite a fire deep inside me?
Or will you be able to put it out?
Will you arise a forest inside me?
Or will you summon a storm to send through it?

Either way we’ll find out together
When we go discover a new world
Over the sea and through the forests
And when we climb up towards the sun.

Misheard Whisper September 2nd, 2011 4:17 AM

Nice little poem. I especially like the last line - climbing up towards the sun kind of makes me think of a plant, so I wonder if the inference is that you chose the Grass-type. In either case . . . I'd suggest giving a little more expansion to each of the ideas put forward in the second stanza. It's all a bit vague and feels a little unfulfilling. I'd elaborate more but it's past midnight, so I hope I helped with what I could salvage from this morass of a brain to splatter out across my keyboard for you.

MisterBlue92 September 2nd, 2011 9:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misheard Whisper (Post 6831005)
Nice little poem. I especially like the last line - climbing up towards the sun kind of makes me think of a plant, so I wonder if the inference is that you chose the Grass-type. In either case . . . I'd suggest giving a little more expansion to each of the ideas put forward in the second stanza. It's all a bit vague and feels a little unfulfilling. I'd elaborate more but it's past midnight, so I hope I helped with what I could salvage from this morass of a brain to splatter out across my keyboard for you.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and review my poem. The last line was actually about how fire always travels upwards, although it could work as referencing a plant growing towards or it could be taken as being about water vapor travelling up to the sky to form clouds.

You make some good points about the second stanza, to be honest with you the entire purpose of that stanza was to make a reference to the three different starter types (with "summon a storm" being a reference to Pikachu) but I'll try to put a bit more imagery in there when I rewrite this. Thank you very much for taking the time to post your thoughts :)

Misheard Whisper September 2nd, 2011 12:18 PM

I got what you were going for with the second stanza, yeah. I couldn't help but feel, though, that each of those could have done with its own stanza, as they're really the focal point of the poem and that doesn't quite come through when they're all in one little block like that.

MisterBlue92 September 2nd, 2011 3:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misheard Whisper (Post 6831614)
I got what you were going for with the second stanza, yeah. I couldn't help but feel, though, that each of those could have done with its own stanza, as they're really the focal point of the poem and that doesn't quite come through when they're all in one little block like that.

I love that idea, I think the reason why it was so short is because I plan to turn this into a song soon so I didn't want it to be too long. I'll definately get working on a seperate stanza for each starter when I sit down to change this, thanks a lot =D


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