![]() |
Quote:
"Painful sounds of the screen" did you mean the beeping sounds that the monitor made? Or did you mean for 'screen' to be 'screams'? ^^ Well, that poem was really good! I can't wait for the next one. ^^ *glomps MCD* ~Kelsey |
No, the life support monitor thingy... so yes I meant screen. The old hag wasn't screaming or anything. XD
|
XDXD That's what I thought at first, just wanted to be sure. XD Nice poem, as I have said a thousand times over, but it's true! ^o^
~Kelsey |
Hi avid readers ^_^ Here is a much more darker poem by yours truly, and it's also my longest one as well. You know the rest, so enjoy ^_^
Hostage The man simply looked at the weapon He held in his right hand. Awash with Rage and anger, he thrust it into his Wrist, only to miss and stab the table. He yanked the knife out of the wood And tried again. But, again, he missed And stabbed the table for a second Time. Why could he not do it? Blood was still on his hands, as well As the rest of his body. The corpse Was stashed under the table, groaning. He gave it a kick. That should have Stopped it. For good this time. The Sirens still were still sounding at full blast. With the continuous, monotonous flashing of red and blue lights. He knew he was surrounded. If he Escaped... but escaping was out of The question. If only he could find His precious Jesebelle. Where was she? He searched through his drawers, his cupboards, the pantry, behind the Television, underneath the couch, On the bed, under the bed. Of course! He clambered under his bed to retrieve His sweet Jesebelle. He cocked her and put her to his temple. His finger reached For the trigger. But he couldn't. Again. The girl was shaking, petrified for what Might happen. Would it be tablets, or Maybe another fit of rage, or maybe he Would rape her again, and feel more and More pleasure. She lay in the closet, Blind by the gloomy darkness, stung From the rope around her wrists and Ankles. But then, footsteps approaching. The teenager screamed as the door Opened. He grabbed her and threw Her on the floor. She expected the Worst, but not what did happen. He lunged for her, but not to attack With vicious rage, but to untie her From her shackles. Once he had finished, He simply whispered to her: "Run". As she fled for her life. He too walked Almost casually to the door, gently closed it, and made his way downstairs To the flashing red and blue lights. The judge in court only gave him Fifteen years, due to the fact that He forgot to take the red and blue pills. Although it might have been no years, If he had just pulled the trigger. |
That was a long poem and that was Dark.
|
Quote:
|
You really make good poems.
|
Thankies Claire and MegaDitto. ^_^ Expect another one today as well.
|
Hi peeps and peepettes again. ^_^ Here's another long (but not so dark) poem from yours truly. Enjoy:
The Long Fight The lone warrior could somehow sense Divine forces telling him he was at least Half-way through this cesspit of fire and Brimstone. He read the tattered map, filled With gothic text and pictures of weird, but Not so wonderful, places, before continuing On through the door he had unlocked only a Few moments ago. This room felt different than the last. Instead Of fiery pools of lava and never ending caverns, There was simply a large door, and ornate decor. Whilst it felt quaint, he knew that always meant Something sinister. Still, he casually walked Towards the door. But it came to no surprise that A golden lock wrapped itself around the wood and Almost grinned at him. More midgets with their horns cocked and ready to Fire came at the lone warrior with gargantuan Force. These were nothing new, and he gave them More hell than he had when he first met them. Swords slashed, horns locked, teeth bit, feet Kicked. But, still more and more came to have at Him. Quickly, he took out a baton and waved it Into the air, sending out a magical stream of both Fire and Ice. As quickly as the beasts came, they Simply disintegrated into the earth, their spirits Rising. As luck would have it, the fire also lit the Torches, hidden at first from view, that were Placed around, the hall, and scented it With a fragrance, so soothing, that it made the Warrior feel healthier. But the golden lock snarled As it removed itself from the door, bitter in its Defeat. The lone warrior braced himself, then Walked through the wood. Silence, or so he thought, in a room more Familiar to him than the previous. The pits Of lava were back, as too were the caverns. But what was this gargantuan in the centre? The warrior jabbed it with his sword, and it Awoke with such spirit it would have scared Anyone who came near it. But not this warrior. He smirked and lept straight into battle, Pummeling it with sword-thrusting action. It moaned and groaned, but still stood strong. It too then lunged for him with scythes so Thick and powerful, that they would easily Chop the head off a stone statue. But it was Too slow, and it stabbed the fiery lava, and Shot up with burning pain. The warrior then Took out his baton, and waved it, majestically, And more fire and ice came out and thrust Themselves on the beast, eating at its life Until there was nothing left. The warrior simply Waited. When all was done, the beast collapsed And magically disappeared, revealing a piece of Pink spongy material. The Divine forces whispered: "Now onto Level 2!" |
That's interseting.You could make these poems into a book.
|
Well, they sort of are a book, each thread being a book in its own right.... OK, I'm getting carried away with my metaphors. XD But thanks for reading again ^_^
|
You're welcome I am a fan of potery.Espacilly dark.I like the dark.
|
I've been reading your poetry, and it really is great XD. So far my favourite is, the last one you posted "The Long Fight", it deals with elements of a narritive poem, but having a fan-fiction feeling to it as well, especially with the ending.
All I can say is, keep writing that poetry you have a talent for it ^^. |
I liked the twist at the end of: 'The Long Fight' :P But thankies anyways LT ^_^ There should be another one tonight if I don't get much homework
(Looks around for Kelsey.... Where are you? o.o) |
Quote:
I liked this one a lot MCD, and I liked how he named his gun Jesebelle. XDXD *glomps* Keep writing those shweet poems. ^^ ~Kelsey (PS- Sorry it took me so long to get here. XD I'll read and rate "The Long Flight" in a second. ^^) EDIT: Quote:
Anyways, first, teh spelling errors. XD "Quickly, he took out a baton and waved it Into the air, sending out a magical stream of both Fire and Ice. As quickly as the beast came..." 'Beast' should be 'beasts', seing as you are refering to multiple horned creatures attacking the warrior. "Chop the head of a stone statue..." 'Of' should be 'off'. XD But those are the only mistakes, and not to mention minor ones. ^____^ I thought it was a neat twist on how it said "Onto level Two" at the end. XD It makes it seem even more like the Legend of Zelda, one of my favorite games. <3 Awsome job yet again MCD! ^o^ ~Kelsey |
XD At the time, I was writing it when Word had put itself in Override, and its only now that I realise how to turn it off. XD I'll go back and fix those now, since I didn't have the chance to do so when I wrote it firsthand. And it's glad to have you back Kelsey ^_^
|
XD Stupid Word, the dumb thing always goes nuts on me too. @[email protected] Awsome poems, MCD, and I really wasn't gone for that long, but thanks for the welcome back. XD *glomps*
~Kelsey |
Here's another poem thingy... and this one does have a hidden message Kelsey - so watch out. ^_~ Enjoy:
The Devil's Poem The devil, he sits on my shoulder. He tells me to do terrible things. One time he told me to punch my Sister in the arm. I did it, and it Felt good. Another time, he said I should push over a group of boxes Onto the floor. Mother knew it was Me, and she gave me a smack, but It didn't hurt compared to the joy Of adrenalin running through me. The devil, he sits on my shoulder. He tells me to do terrible things. The devil also comes to me when I sleep. He says that everyone is Against me, and they must suffer. So the next morning, I put salt in the sugar bowl. Father ended up in Hospital, and I got another smack, But I didn't care. I sort of liked the Bittersweet feeling that came with the hard blow. It made me know that My message had gone through. The devil, he sits on my shoulder. He tells me to do terrible things. Then, only yesterday, the devil came To me at school, and told me to burn the classroom. I took a lighter, and Torched the flimsy wooden tables. Everyone screamed, and ran, but I Just laughed, with the devil by my side. But soon the fire spread, and ran Through the corridors and the lockers And the gymnasium and the toilets And even the Headmaster's Office. Everyone ran and screamed away from The cursed blaze. The devil, he sat on my shoulder. He told me to do terrible things. Now all the devil does is laugh in my Face, ontop of the window of my bare And white room. But I can't touch him. My hands are tied behind my back with a jacket only mad people wear. |
That poem is based on trust and beterayl.That was I will just do this.9/10
|
Whilst it is loosely based on betrayal, that's not the entire gist of it. But thankf for reading anyways ^_^
P.S. I didn't understand the last sentence... could you rephrase it please? |
I did not understand what your first word said and I put my comment into a rating.
|
Quote:
thorugh = through (^ Stupid Word. XD) OK, now as for the message...well, it seems as though the boy is possessed by the devil. The devil tells him of terrible things to do, that end up hurting the ones he loves. Then, with the school fire, the boy had gone too far. Then in the mental institute, the devil laughs at his 'underling's' misfortune, after it was the devil who told the boy to do all of those things. I think the message is somewhat of betrayl. For the devil acted as one of the boy's pals, always at his side. Until the boy was in trouble, did the devil come to his aid? Most certainly not. If that's not it, then I suspect that if you hear voices in your head don't listen to them. XDXDXD Awsome poem MCD, this one is amongst one of my faves out of your poems. ^^ ~Kelsey |
Most of what you're saying is right, although he isn't actually being possessed by the devil. The devil is simply another metaphor. The kid has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I did some research, and a lot of people who have this say that they've been affected by the devil, even though there was no need fo exorcism at the end. But, everything about betrayal and the 'devil's' fickleness is all right and stuff ^_^
|
I have no homework tonight, so I might compose 2 poems to make up for me not posting one yesterday. This first one is loosely based on the Shakespeare play of Macbeth, and if you really want to get the full meaning of it, you should read the play :P I'm sure most people'll enjoy it anyways ^_^ Enjoy:
Double, double toil and trouble Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Witches, three crouch in their pit. Frail and ancient, they do sit, Round the cauldron, candles lit For what they burn, their souls shall frit. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Round about the cauldron go In the poisoned entrails throw. Sweltered venom sleeping got, Boil it first in the charmed pot. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Silvered in the moon's eclipse, Nose of Turk and Tartars lips, Add them to a tiger's chaudron, For the ingredients of our cauldron. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Evil deeds and wrecks of sin, Crawl and writher from within, Like a cat's malicious grin. Good shall fail, and evil, win. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. |
Quote:
It gives the reader an image of witches gathered around a pitch-black cauldron, chanting the words of your poem. ^____^ It gave me a neat feeling of betrayl almost. As if the witches are concocting this mesh of spells to gain revenge, but that's just my vision of it. I saw no spelling erros either, which was very nice. Yet again, another awsome poem MCD. ^_____^ ~Kelsey |
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:02 AM. |
![]()
© 2002 - 2018 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2016 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.
Acknowledgements
Use of PokéCommunity Assets
vB Optimise by DragonByte Technologies Ltd © 2023.