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Sarcastic Answers
Basically, what you do is give a sarcastic answer to a stupid question. Ex: Poster 1: Is the sky blue? Poster 2: No way dude, the sky is green with orange polka dots. Are oranges orange? And you keep the cycle going... Forever... Me first! Does air keep me alive? |
Nah man, it's all donut sprinkles that we gotta breathe.
Is water blue? |
No, come on, you know that it's actually a very dark clear.
Is he a human? |
Dude, common sense. Does he look human? He is totally a turtle.
Is ice made from water? |
Actually it's made from toluene, dumb****
You're alive, right? |
Nah, nah. I'm just a bit tired of being stuck underground, bro.
Is that a scarf around your neck? |
This isn't a scarf. It's a blue snake that won't get off of my neck.
Is shooting someone illegal? |
No, it's actually recommended in most places.
Is that cat eating the carpet? |
No, it's actually licking its behind.
Do you like cheese? |
Naaaaw, I like eating trash.
This is a sentence you know. |
Oh, I thought that that was a question. My bad.
Does an octopus have 8 tentacles? |
No, it only has one, Dumbo!
Why is blood red? |
Because it's always embarressed.
Is that a Piplup or CyanFlame in a Piplup suit? |
Neither! It's Piplup in a CyanFlame costume!
Why is my pillow so soft? |
What pillow? That's obviously your pet ferret.
How many fingers am I holding up? |
None... Nobody has fingers anymore... It's uncool.
What color are violets? |
Try standing on your head for 5 hours. Whatever color you see before stopping is the color they are.
Do you wear glasses? |
No, I have contacts with frames.
Is that an eye patch you're wearing? |
No!!! It's just my thing that I put over my eye like those chatot tamers over there *points at pokepirates
What is a Pokemon? |
...My mom.
Is that dog on a leash? |
Well duh!!! Who doesn't give their hotdog a leash?!
What's this? (looks at hand) |
It is not a hand, I assure you.
How do I call 911? |
That's simple. With a bathtub of course.
How am i typing this? |
You think it's the greatest invention to mankind other than cars or tonkas or robots, or parts designed to move mechanically to climb the sides of skyscrapers.
Why don't I get dates? (The fruit.) |
Because you're totally too cool for them.
Why don't everyone obey me? |
Because you're the single most powerful person on the planet.
Trespassers will trespass on this property. |
Everyone loves being controlled by a control freak who is on the verge of human domination, who doesn't know what's best for others, nor really cares, and overall gives the worst advice possible, such as telling a girl not to look at boys, and just look at girls, even though she likes the opposite gender, but is too scared to admit, because of teasing... that and just being insecure overall, and making her hate having no control over her life or her own decisions... People love being controlled, don't they?! They love feeling like no one lets them have control over their own life or their own decisions, and they like having others not respect their opinions enough to know what's right for them, especially if they know themselves.
Why do I hate my careless, controlling ex-boyfriend? As to the above post, because people just love walking on others lawns, thinking it's fun to stomp on ant hills, and get rid of the ant population, since no one, and I mean no one likes bugs or being bitten by them... |
Because he's your ex, certainly nothing to do with the careless and controlling part.
Do you have a nose? |
No. But I do have 2 holes above my mouth.
Why do I have eyes? |
So there won't be an empty space between your hair and your nose! Duh!
Why can I run? |
Because Bidoof the god of all Pokemon gave us...uuuhhhh..I mean u the ability to run!!! Lucky -.- and u were supposed to know that! It's in the pokederp bible!
Why do I have a pet rock? |
I'm sorry but he got run over by a car.
Why is there a cow on my lawn? |
He wanted your grass fortune...
What are those white things in the sky? |
They are floating pillows of course
How do I start a fire using my nose? |
You use lava as nose drops.
Why doesn't grass grow as tall as trees? |
Grass is dead Oddish half buried underground so they can't grow when they're dead
What am I made out of? |
Rainbows and crap.
If Darwin was so smart, how did he die? |
He turned into a carrot and was eaten by a computer.
How the heck do clouds fly? |
Oh, that's simple! It has an invisible jet pack on it!
Why is grass, green? |
Grass is green? You want to know why? How very very interesting.
Why you log me out, PC? |
Because it is the master race and wants to enslave you by having you log out.
How do I fly? |
Grow wings and try jumping off a cliff.
What is life's meaning? |
It is something that is good for me.
Why are some people so dumb?! |
It's called destiny! People are destined to be dumb
What is a moon? |
A big ball of white cheese in the sky.
How big is too big? |
Bigger than the biggest big bigger thing that's bigger than that big thing, which is also bigger than the other thing!
How long till the world ends? |
Fornever... Nuff said.
If I can't talk to strangers how do I make friends? |
U can't talk right? But they didn't say u could never Text Message them hehehe :D
Why do I keep failing? |
Becuase you do not do well in school.
Why is the sun yellow? |
It's too cheerful, that's why! (yellow = happy)
Why do bears like honey? |
They are secretly aliens disguised in costumes trying to get in a "Winnie the Pooh" movie. So they try to immatate Pooh!
Why didn't the world end yet?! |
Because birds are dinosaurs.
Why can't I go towards the light? |
Becuase the light leads to death.
Why does that light lead to death? |
Cause the light is actually an in censored picture, causing you to get too horrified. This then leads u to death :D
Why can't I go towards the dark? |
If you go towards darkness you will get killed.
Is there a serial leaker nearby? |
Yeah, I think there probably is one hiding around that corner. Better avoid it. :V
How do I look? |
You don't look like a mawile, that's for sure.
How did they take a picture of the first camera?. |
They make another one of the same thing and then take a picture of the first one.
Where would you like to go? |
Already went.
How come rubies are blue? |
Because the sky painted them but made them a little too dark.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? |
-13 According to researchers.
Who's the bad guy in Sonic? |
I think it was Bowser.
What is up with the adverts? |
The sky is up... and
ad verts ad = advertisment verts = green green advertisements? They usually suck. So how about that airplane food? |
Food just loves being tossed up from high altitudes, doesn't it? More of a fall, right?
Why can't anyone love me? |
Becuase nobody here knows you.
Oh, oh! Why isn't there free ice cream? |
Because it all melted and now it's just cream.
How do you paint nails? |
Easy. First I hammer them in the wall then I paint over them.
Why do people be sayin' grammar ain't important? |
Bcuaese yuor mnid can raed tihngs no mtetar waht odrer ist in
What's the meaning of life? |
It's somewhere between heaven and hell.
Why can't I pick up that quarter on the street? |
Because you need the other 3/4 to complete it.
Yoda talk backwards, why does? |
Works in mysterious ways does he.
Why is the Avengers overrated? |
Because everything great is overrated.
Why isn't everything falling off the bottom of the world? |
Because there's a bunch of monkey bars down there.
Why can't I fly? |
It's probably because you don't have green hair.
Pikachu's the best Pokemon ever, right? |
Who's Pikachu, and what in the WORLD is a Pokemon?
Where did i leave my cell phone at? |
Cell phone? I thought it was a cookie...
Who's Da Vinci? |
I think he painted the Portrait of Dr. Gatchet.
Why do some people have hair in their noses? |
To discourage anyone who dares pick their noses.
What is a pie? |
It's an Italian dish classified in the pasta category.
Why are my feet cold? |
Everyones feet always gets cold when they walk in a desert!
Why do I have hands? |
Because you ran out of feet to use.
Why do I need water? |
You don't need water to survive!
Why is everybody interested in WoW nowadays? |
Just listen to the acronym. "WoW". WOW! Get it?
Why can't we all be friends |
Becuase we need to chat about it first.
Why is Japan full of weird people? |
Because of the weird commercials on Youtube!
Can I break gravity? |
Sure, first find a tall building, then take into account the words of Morpheus: "Free your mind." I'm pretty sure that will work.
Is Michael Jackson still alive? |
There are plenty of other Michael Jacksons that are alive.
Friend's addicted to Halo. How do I get him to stop? |
Introduce him to an angel that hates his job. He'll give up his Halo for sure.
Do fish have feelings? |
They have feelings only for other fish.
Is the world really big? |
Of course not. Why else would people say "it's a small world"?
...Actually, why do some people say "it's a small world"? |
Cause those people are very logical and intelligent
Where an I? |
I think you're on Jupiter.
Why can't we breathe in space? |
Because you can't spell space with air.
Why are teddy bears soft? |
They were not supposed to be soft.
Why am I bored? |
Why are you bored? Constant stalking of course.
Why are secret documents haunting me? |
Because they are part ghost type.
Why am I always in Other trivia? |
Because you're too enigmatic for General trivia.
Is this a question? |
No, its an answer
What's the symbol at the end of this question O_o ? |
Well, it's a question mark.
Why does no one recognize my Oshawott as "top percentage"? |
Because it's not actually an Oshawott. Obviously, it's Obama.
Why are babies so damn delicious? |
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