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I need some advice. So, for the last 2 years I have been basically friendless, not counting the two irl friends i have that never make plans with me because they're already busy all the time whenever i ask, and not counting the many internet friends i have. i don't really know what to do. i'm an extremely awkward person, as i have social anxiety, general anxiety and depression and it's possible i might have autism (havent been evaluated yet, it's a long story).
they have events at the college that i attend, but.. a lot of them either go on when i have classes, or the ones that dont go on when i have classes do not interest me. i'm not sure what to do. they have some events at my local library but there's no one really my age that goes to those. it's also hard to find people irl with common interests of mine that are also my age and aren't weirded out by the fact that i like youtube so much (common interests are youtube especially, but also video games). i don't know what to do. i havent really hung out with anyone in.. almost 2 years, not counting the time i saw my best friend. it's lonely, and it sucks. i hate it. i vent to my boyfriend about this almost every weekend (we're long distance but plan to meet up for the first time late this month), because my sister is always going out and hanging out with friends and it makes me jealous because i stay home pretty much every weekend not counting the times i go to the book store or mall or small places nearby with my mom. i'm just..stuck. and lonely. please be considerate of my feelings when replying. thank you. |
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I can relate to this. I only have one friend I met when I was a toddler but at the age we are now, it is so hard to make plans with her because my friend has autism and she has alot of mental problems. i used to hang out with my sister and her friends alot but my sister moved to a different State to be with her husband who got a job on another State. Since you mentioned you like Youtube and video games, did you check on the internet if there are events close to your home that are about Youtube and video games? I know that some colleges have clubs. Does your college have any video games clubs you could join? if not, check out a website called Meetup. Meetup is a website for a variety of interests including hobbies, gaming, sports, etc for people to meet up when there is an event being hosted. My sister introduced me to Meetup and she also brings me along with her when she hangs out with her friends when we were still living together. Since you mentioned you also have a sister, ask your sister if you can tag along with her when she goes out to meet her friends. Ask your sister if she also knows anyone who likes Youtube, video games, and hopefully she will recommend a friend for you. |
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please be honest to me
lately i have been feeling like everyone hates me!! they give me reasons to think that. my own family hates me too. we always argue & yell at each other, it's mostly about how they have been treating me lately. and people do also. bullying me, harassing me, & etc. i have mental illnesses (I Am NOT CRAZY!!). Anyways. . .my family doesn't seem to be giving me much "emotional support" & have causing me so much stress & depression that i eat the pain away. what else can i do?! they make me think that i should. . .end it all!! (if you know what i mean?!). i can't take it anymore!! i am going to be 28 years old this year! i think that i should live on my own, instead of my mom's house (she & my dad are divorced). she won't let cause she thinks that i won't be able to live on my own. I don't know what else to do?! i want a dog cause i would be able to take care of it, plus it will help me get out of the house & do something (which they want!). No to that! It's like the same chaos with me gettiing my first job. my family forced me to get a job, so i did & loved it!. then my parents struggled to get along & all & then i became mental ill. i had to leave my job which was the "hardest thing i ever did!" now they are treating me like i need better medicines for not troublesome problems. my doctor isn't helping me either! he's not thinking about me, just how he can drug me up! and my family supports him cause he's "the doctor." i feel so alone & may run away or end it all!! i can't take this anymore!! i have basically given up! nobody "asks & thinks" like they "really" care about me anymore!! they may say it but don't seem like they do to me!! and the bullies haunt me too. i had to switch schools in high school cause of them bullying & harassing me all the time!! Until i became too afraid to even go ton school. even at my new school i got bullied!! some of them wanted to fight or beat me up! and the rude & perverted people i have come across haunt me too! I am sorry for the long story here. I don't see my therapist for awhile longer this month. i need someone to talk to.
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Anyway, I need help too. Lately, in high school, I have been developing feelings towards a guy. A crush, I don't even know him, but I find him cute, physically. I wanted to introduce myself to him, know him better, and maybe produce a relationship, but I don't know how. I have been crushed before, but never tried anything, and I would want someone to share moments together. I need some advice about relationships. |
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Starting to lose it.
So I've been in a relationship for about 8 months now and things are beginning to fall apart. Me and my girl are living together and have been for a while. My problems are that she just isn't into anything that I am and she is just really boring to me.
When we first started out the first month before we had even met she said that she would try anything with me of my interests and was open to it to play games and go out places and whatnot. Now it's like all that stuff may have been something she was initially open to before it was actually happening, but now she doesn't want anything to do with my interests. She tried playing Super Mario Kart with me one time and couldn't even get through three races. On the third race she got so frustrated and slammed the controller on the bed making my Super Nintendo fall off the dresser. I was mad, not at the fact that it fell but at the extreme display of emotions and not even really trying. All she ever does is stay on her phone looking at facebook crap, listening to boring music. She always puts me through these awful movies and wants me to sit through the whole thing, and I do because if I've started it I'll at least finish it to see if it is good. But it hardly ever is. She is never satisfied with anything and only complains about everything when her life isn't even bad. The biggest problem this girl has is making sure she gets her nails done each week. Her job isn't stressful, she works overnights at home for the same company I do taking customer service calls. Some nights she takes maybe up to four calls that are over in about 5 minutes, and some nights she doesn't even get a call and just sleeps most of the night or watches her mindless reality shows. Then sleeps again for a lot of the day. Also she spends and spends money, to the point that she has me pay for a lot of things as well because she'll make herself flat broke. I once told her that I wasn't going to watch anything else that she wanted until she tried again to play some video games or at least show some type of interest with what I was into and she says that she doesn't know how to do that and doesn't want to because she never played them before. Now I understand that, but I think I've earned her at least trying due to the countless hours of crap that she has sat me through. She is a very selfish person as well. She will cook everyday so that's something though, but beyond that she is selfish to her family and only wants to do things that she wants to. There was one time when I went into the city so I could get some save batteries changed and shop at a game store. I invited her and she said no. Then I went out to do some errands and I was still in the area and asked if she wanted to come again to the city and she wound up coming. She then hijacks the day and has us go out to eat and then go Geocaching or whatever it is called before I even got to go to the store which was the whole purpose of me going out there to begin with. She had the nerve to say "okay we did all my stuff now we can do your thing". That just got me really heated so I just went with it since I didn't want to ruin the day. She even thought I was cheating on her once and went and called an old friend of mine when I wasn't home to ask her if I was doing anything. She didn't want me seeing this girl anymore and I obliged and stopped talking to her. She went and called her talked for a couple hours and then wound up being friends with her. That got me so angry and I told her how I felt. It's like if I told her I didn't want her buying something for 1000 dollars because we couldn't afford it yet I go out and buy something for that same price right after saying that. She got her answer and figured out I wasn't doing anything and that it never even crossed my mind or my friend's. Then that same day I go to the bathroom and she checks my phone literally five minutes after we had the last conversation concerning that. It's such a disrespectful thing to do once all has been said and done with answers to everything and saying that she trusts me because I didn't do anything and realized that I wasn't lying. She is totally your typical Jersey girl and it's starting to really get to me that I can't handle this relationship because to me she is just so boring and she doesn't even try to make me happy anymore and I seem to be the only one trying to keep her happy because I love her. I've fallen into actually being unhappy being with her. Now I sit in the kitchen a lot just to get away and do my own thing playing video games and to just be by myself. I just want to find someone into the same things that I am or would at least try to understand who I am through my main source of entertainment, but this far in I realize that she isn't going to do that ever. I just wanted to vent really. If any of you guys have some advice or anything go right ahead and post. I welcome any type of view on the matter and if you have any other questions to help you help me just ask. Thanks a lot for reading guys. |
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I think a far bigger problem would be the invasion of privacy and total lack of trust when she got the idea you might be cheating. If there's anything to worry about, I think it's that. |
I am thinking of doing two years at a local community college (classes on Monday and Wendsday mornings and Thursday evenings) but thinking of starting a job at a local Halloween Shop and volunteering at a Haunt on the weekends. I am asking how I can balance it all out in the end.
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I'm gonna preface this by saying that I don't have a full insight into your feelings or your girlfriend's feelings, and any criticisms I level at either of you are not personal attacks and should be taken with a grain of salt.
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Mario Kart is... kinda difficult for people who don't play it often enough to learn its nuances. Hell, I can barely play it. I can understand why she was frustrated (hell, have you seen YouTubers play it?). Maybe consider that challenging, difficult games aren't her cup of tea and try to find games with a lower difficult curve that you can bond over. Regarding your anger about her showing emotion... why did that make you angry, exactly? Is it because you were expecting a different reaction and felt hurt that she didn't give you the one you expected? Or were you angry because she reacted negatively at all? Or some other third explanation? Quote:
Consider having a conversation with her about what she's into and talk about things you're into, and find ways to combine them instead of forcing each other to sit through something one of you doesn't enjoy. Quote:
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Have you discussed with her (amicably) about this particular situation? You say she "hijacked the day" - how did she do that? The only way she could have forced you to do something in this situation was if she forcibly moved you into the car and drove you herself where she wanted to go (if she did do that, that's a whole bigger issue to address). On some base level, you did these things with her because you wanted to be with her or wanted to do something for her. Did you communicate to her that you wanted to go to the store first? Did you have a conversation that could have compromised you both doing your activities in a productive order? Quote:
Nevertheless, you are still together. Clearly this issue is still bothering you - have you talked about it further? Have you explained to her that these actions hurt you severely? How did you explain it? If you did, how did she react, and how did you handle that reaction? Quote:
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If you truly want to stay with her, I recommend you both have a very serious sit down talk in a private area and, amicably and emphatically, discuss these bigger issues. It's clear the turmoil in your relationship stems from more serious issues than just a lack of shared hobbies, and you both need to address these and resolve them in ways that are not harmful to any one person if you want to stay together. Outside of that, I'd seriously recommend breaking up. You and her both sound miserable together, and if you can't resolve your issues, there's no reason to stay together. Some people just don't work out. Don't let it get you down. Good luck, and if you need more help, just quote me and I'll try to get back to you. |
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Bad Habits
I have a friend who recently has developed some questionable, potentially harmful habits. I just need advice on what to do.
So, one of my best friends started hanging out with this new group of people. I know them, I've met them at parties and we've all hung out before, they seem friendly. However, they've influenced my friend (let's call her Hazel) in a negative way. Hazel started smoking cigarettes whenever they're together (which is fairly frequent, the last couple of nights for sure). Not only that, but it was brought to my attention that they have all taken some hard drugs which raises my concerns. Weed, go for it. Hell, I've smoked the good greens a few times before. Other drugs, though, are scary and harmful. Never mind the damaging effects of tobacco use. I've confronted her about her habits on multiple occasions (By confronting her, I mean lightly bringing up the subject and asking her about it) and she kind of just laughs it off and tells me I'm worrying about nothing. I want to believe her but I honestly don't trust her judgement at this point. I mean, yeah, we're teenagers and this is our last summer before senior year of high school, I know that we're all going to do crazy things, we might drink and party. But, there's a point where it's dangerous. I'm just worried that if Hazel continues to associate with these people and engages in the activities that they've been engaging in, her habits will only worsen. It's especially alarming considering how many teenagers I know (or used to) who've developed addictions to certain substances and as a result have completely thrown their lives away. I don't want that to be Hazel. I know this may be a heavy subject, but what should I do? Do I have a reason to be concerned? Should I talk to her about it again? Or perhaps I need to leave it alone? Thanks in advance for your advice. I've already discussed this with some of my friends, I just wanted some outside opinions on the matter. |
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Here are some helpful links. https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/cigarettes-other-tobacco-products https://smokefree.gov/ https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/marijuana |
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