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jjmason December 6th, 2013 3:40 PM

10 Poketheories you've never thought of
 
10 Pokétheories you´ve probably never thought of

1. Unreported cooking deaths:

In a lot of Asian cultures it is common to simply boil or steam your fish whole. In the case of Magickarp which is well known throughout the Pokéverse to be eaten, how many people do you think have been killed when trying to steam a Magickarp? Imagine dropping a Magickarp into boiling water only to watch it evolve into a very pissed off Gyarados. Perhaps this is why Gyarados are always angry?


2. Crustacean based Pokémon are living on the verge of extinction:

While it isn´t stated that any crab or lobster based Pokémon are eaten, we can assume that it is quite likely they are. Sure a few Krabby´s or Corphish here and there won´t drive them to extinction, but imagine if a butter based Pokémon emerged, it would be a frenzy. Remember after all much to the disbelief of Pokéfans everywhere, ice-cream based Pokémon have emerged in the Pokéverse.



3. It isn’t that Farfetch´d:

When know from the Pokédex data in the first generation of Pokémon that Farfetched were considered a delicacy. You would think after a while the Farfetch´d would realize that the leek that they would carry is not actually helping their situation. While this leek was changed in later generations to a stick to appease certain animal rights groups and then later to a stalk, I really think a club or baseball bat would get the message across a lot clearer. Elaborating further on this, we can assume that Farfetched are a delicacy because they are rare and vice-versa, assumedly due to over hunting. To curb this it seems logical that Farfetch´d farms would have been established, similar to how we have chicken farms. If the Farfetch´d know they are being eaten it makes you wonder why an evolution has not emerged to tilt the balance in the favor of the poor tasty Farfetch´d.


4. The Genocide of Vanillite, Vanillish and Vanilluxe

Our planet goes through fluctuations in weather patterns, assumedly as would the Pokémon world. Imagine on one particularly nasty summer, a heat wave blasts across a continent, the Vanillite, Vanillish and Vanilluxe all escape the heat by seeking refuge in human made buildings. Only they would never leave...


5. Meowth attorney at law:

In the episode: Ash versus the Champion, Alder is able to calm down a rampaging Gigalith. However immediately after he does, office Jenny states she needs to take him into custody, implying there is some sort of legal process for Pokémon accused of crimes. This is a huge opportunity for Team Rocket´s Meowth, who even though he can learn Pay Day, never seems to have any money. Meowth could become a representative of Pokémon in legal situations; after all there must be an extremely small market for Pokémon lawyers. Meowth would be the only Pokémon lawyer that could actually talk rather than relying on telepathy, though some of the newer generation Legendaries appear to speak without telepathy, but imagine what they would charge per hour!

6. Guilty or not-guilty, it´s black and white:

Though criminal groups throughout the Pokéverse seem to be rampant, crime seems to be quite low as a whole. Which brings me to two points to think about, the first is that we know some Pokémon are able to see the future, does this mean there is some sort of Minority Report style of pre-crime in the Pokéverse police departments? Also there would no longer need to be court cases to decide if someone is guilty or not, a psychic Pokémon would simply need to delve inside the accused´s mind and reveal what happened.

7. It´s all digital:

Most people know that the Pokémon universe is more advanced than our own, we seem numerous examples of this, ranging from teleportation to Pokéballs, which according to one theory creates a pocket universe in which the Pokémon is stored in, or if you subscribe to the other theory, the Pokémon in somehow miniaturized and pulled into a tiny environment, the latter is more supported as you can buy luxury balls and other similar Pokéballs which affect the Pokémon´s happiness and comfort. For me this leap in technology could have happened for two reasons, firstly Pokémon would have undoubtedly helped them progress past us, demonstrating abilities that could later help in research and technology, not to mention the physical help of building and maintaining their creations. The second could have been because it was urgently necessary. Imagine for a moment that you are building the Big Ben tower in London (now the Elizabeth Tower I believe) and suddenly one of your cogs just flies away, turning into a Klink, never to be seen again, how can you create a civilization based on this technology if you can´t control it? Do Kink work 9-5? Do they get paid overtime? If so what do they buy?

8. The sad truth:

Everyone knows that if you want a Pokémon that can be anything you want it to be, you choose and Eevee. This Pokémon is known to have strange, unstable genetics. If your genes are unstable then you yourself become unstable and eventually you could die. In a few lucky cases, Eevee has been able to stabilize its gene´s (either knowingly or not) simply by being in a particular environment or having a special piece of an environment shoved in its face. It is then able to evolve into a plethora of Pokémon. But for every one successful case, there has to be numerous unsuccessful cases. Perhaps Ditto are actually a failed form of an Eevee evolution? Though this idea flies in the face of the theory that suggests Ditto is a failed Mew clone.


9. Where are all the national animals?

Most Pokémon are based heavily on either real creatures or mythological creatures. Some are designed a certain way to reflect the culture in which they are from, I.e. Farfetch´d with the leek is quite similar to peking duck, Meowth´s gold emblem on its head and its ability to gather coins is undoubtedly intended to mimic Maneki Neko´s. But I couldn´t help but notice the lack of pandas, kiwis, lions, tigers or alpacas just to name a few. Though I will mention that Pancham has recently been introduced with the X & Y generation...it only took a decade.


10. What is Ash?

I know what you´re thinking, "what kind of a question is that?", but bear with me for a second. What do we know about Ash? We know he is from Pallet town and that his mother is still alive and living there. His father is never mentioned and we assume that Ash´s mother is his biological mother, but could very well be adopted. So where am I going with this? Think about these things, Ash never ages, he is never seriously injured or injured for more than a few moments, he is constantly seeking balance between Pokémon and humans, he is able to calm or tame nearly any Pokémon and he has saved the world on multiple occasions. I have two theories to explain this; firstly he could be an advanced Pokémon who´s duty is to keep the balance in the world and he could have an ability similar to Zoroark´s illusion abilities. He could even be a Zoroark, as they have been known to take human form, or possibly an unknown evolution of Zoroark. My second theory is that Ash is actually human; however he is in fact the physical incarnation of balance, similar to how Dialga is the incarnation/representation/keeper of time and Palka of space.


I hope you enjoyed my theories, please leave comments to let me know what you think.

JJ Mason

Sheep December 6th, 2013 3:55 PM

You have some pretty interesting ideas from what I've seen so far. But unfortunately yeah, this isn't the right place for theories; if you'd like to discuss theories regarding the Pokemon world check out Pokemon General. (= We also have Pokemon Anime for theories and discussion on the anime series so you have plenty of choices. I'd move your thread over for you but it seems to be a mix of both and I'm not quite sure how well it would fit in either board as is. But feel free to check out the above boards anytime to discuss theories! Good luck.


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