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seeker January 6th, 2015 11:50 AM

Topics to discuss on first dates
 
YO! So a lot of us have been there, you've got a hot date coming up and you want it to be even more STEAMY, but you're not sure how to keep the mood going nice and smoothly... What kind of topics do you, PC, bring up on first dates? Does it depend on what the two of you are doing? How do you know when to stop trying and abandon ship? Throw some of your favourite date topics into the mix and woo us all, go!

Alfieri January 6th, 2015 12:03 PM

The usual stuff like what music they're into, what their major is for school, if they like anime or video games, basic interests just to give me a general idea of what they like. After a little bit, I'll start asking some personal preference questions like what they look for in a guy and such.

Shiny Bunnelby January 6th, 2015 12:37 PM

My favorite ice-breaker, ever, is exchanging the worst jokes possible. It eases tension and removes a lot of the awkwardness of meeting new people. Plus you get to laugh. Who doesn't enjoy laughing?

I've never been on a traditional first date except with my fiancé. Everyone else I ever dated, I've already known decently prior to the first date, so we just continued our hang outs away from our usual places.

With that said, my fiancé and I are, well, "unfiltered" when it comes to conversation. We shared some insane jokes and it turned to honest chats about something related.That's what made our date so successful. We just said what we had in mind and felt no obligation to try and impress one another. We learned as we went. It helped that we were both adults and off work on the same day. No need for planning or worrying about curfew. It was all spontaneous and lasted the entire day.

Being pleasantly surprised at discovering common interests first-hand is much more amazing than just talking about it.

luo xiang January 6th, 2015 12:58 PM

Lol i usually just make them laugh by being myself. Bad jokes or common interests. The one thing that has always worked for me is being honest about how i feel, and friendly. There is no one sure fire way,because people vary.

Honest January 6th, 2015 1:31 PM

I'm more spontaneous. I'll start a topic based on stuff going on around us, as well, as incorporate the modern cliche topics (major, music, etc).

Livewire January 6th, 2015 4:44 PM

I think it depends on the person and what their individual interests are, but you can bring up where they go to school, their major, any pertinent info you might have about their field of study, etc. Try and impress them by knowing something in their field, worked for me once or twice. ;D

That, and throw some witty humor in there and you should be ok, haha.

Corvus of the Black Night January 6th, 2015 5:18 PM

You could just go the Birdemic route and talk about your last job like you were in an interview.

Yukiyo Kayume January 6th, 2015 8:24 PM

it depends. I'm ridiculously shy on dates at first LOL

I'd probably say something silly like "so..........I've been playing Pokemon Alpha Sapphire lately....it's pretty fun."

lol

Shining Raichu January 6th, 2015 8:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfieri (Post 8568178)
After a little bit, I'll start sneaking in some personal preference questions like what they look for in a guy and such.

If you're asking them what they like in a guy, I think they know why you're asking lol. I don't think you're doing much effective sneaking at all :P

Sirfetch’d January 6th, 2015 8:48 PM

Not much of a dater, but I wouldn't want to talk about my boring life or hear about their day, but get to the honest part of what both of us are truly thinking about and talk about sex. (though I guess leading up with some small food chit chat would work too...)

Alfieri January 6th, 2015 8:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sodom (Post 8568928)
If you're asking them what they like in a guy, I think they know why you're asking lol. I don't think you're doing much effective sneaking at all :P

So I used the wrong verb.

Lotus the Cat January 7th, 2015 1:30 AM

If you structure your date around an activity (e.g. A movie or a visit to the zoo or something) finding things to talk about will often be easier as you have subjects to take from and a shared experience. Otherwise, you're often stuck with the clichés mentioned above and may face the deadly awkward silence if you run out of preplanned topics.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powalen (Post 8568935)
Not much of a dater, but I wouldn't want to talk about my boring life or hear about their day, but get to the honest part of what both of us are truly thinking about and talk about sex. (though I guess leading up with some small food chit chat would work too...)

I can't personally imagine jumping onto the topic of sex would be the smartest move on a first date. I'm curious, does it usually go down well?

Her January 7th, 2015 2:07 AM

would anyone be shocked if i said i've brought up jodie foster on two separate first dates

lloebet January 7th, 2015 2:10 AM

I like to know the emotional state of the person before I get into a serious relationship with them.

Her January 7th, 2015 2:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anakin Linux (Post 8569275)
I like to know the emotional state of the person before I get into a serious relationship with them.

out of curiosity, how do you go about doing this on a first date

lloebet January 7th, 2015 2:27 AM

I ask them questions that seem standard issue for a first date but that give me a good idea of how they would emotionaly react in certain situations which would tell me their emotional state and if they're even emotional at all. Questions as small as "Do you have any pets" could tell me a lot. This also happens to make them bring up a lot of stories which is great for first dates. Two birds with one stone.
That or if I can tell the person wouldn't mind much if I asked, I ask flat out: "Emotional or nah?", which is a somewhat decent conversation starter most of the time.

Corvus of the Black Night January 7th, 2015 5:43 AM

Wait, do people seriously get that close after a first date? I just sort of fall into relationships and let them develop naturally rather than dating...

seeker January 7th, 2015 8:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daigonite (Post 8569416)
Wait, do people seriously get that close after a first date? I just sort of fall into relationships and let them develop naturally rather than dating...

Some people do, I think the age old tradition of "date first marry later" is kind of gone out the window. I rarely ever date to be honest, but I do often meet people and end up getting to know them super well in the first sitting. It can happen. However in saying that there's much truth to the idea that relationships tell all.

Bellsprout January 7th, 2015 8:43 AM

After going on a lot of dates this past year I've pretty much learned that what you talk about on the first date pretty much determines whether it's right to continue or not. I went on one and the conversation was just so boring... Every time I tried to tell a story about myself he just seemed so uninterested and like just smiled weirdly and then when the story would end he just sat there kinda silently. So I'm sitting there like "UH NEW APPROACH" and I asked him questions about himself and then he lit up and went on and on. Basically the whole date was about him and like to me a first date is getting to know BOTH people so right when that ended I remained polite and offered to pay for my meal, but he insisted he pay so I def let him since I had to sit through an hour of stories about him and I made out with a delicious pasta dish and two beers for free. I also want to mention he shook my hand when we met at the restaurant.... that was just so bizarre to me.

On a good date the conversation just comes naturally. Usually we both tell stories about ourselves, talk about the things we like, what we do in our lives currently, etc. It's strange because I lose my shyness when on a date and I'm pretty close to myself so it ends up in a lot of laughing if it's the right personality.

Spiff January 7th, 2015 9:31 AM

I just ride the wave man. Having these go to questions inspires pretty generic conversations, which I'm not usually game for.

Tsutarja January 7th, 2015 9:59 AM

When I went on my first date with my ex, the first thing we talked about was our favorite high school memory. We both went to the same high school, and we were both seniors when we dated, so I thought it made sense.

Kanzler January 7th, 2015 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powalen (Post 8568935)
Not much of a dater, but I wouldn't want to talk about my boring life or hear about their day, but get to the honest part of what both of us are truly thinking about and talk about sex. (though I guess leading up with some small food chit chat would work too...)

hnnggg i'm not much of a dater either but i don't got dat sex game

Magic Christmas Lights January 10th, 2015 9:22 AM

I love dates. I talk about pretty much anything that comes to mind. Adversity, their career aspirations or current career, what they were like in college, their interests, whether or not they still party, and I kind of screen them for latent racism and sexism. Like everyone is racist/sexist to a certain extent, but I look for if they are more than average.

luo xiang January 10th, 2015 9:32 AM

xD well our future goals maybe?

Consulting Detective January 10th, 2015 9:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powalen (Post 8568935)
Not much of a dater, but I wouldn't want to talk about my boring life or hear about their day, but get to the honest part of what both of us are truly thinking about and talk about sex. (though I guess leading up with some small food chit chat would work too...)

That's very... forward. Although, I do think it is important to be genuine with what you're thinking, at least to some degree, like you said. Also, if sex is a topic that is willingly and happily brought up between the two (or more???) of you, preceded small food chitchat or not, then I do think it is an important thing to discuss ASAP and lay down boundaries/interests/consent/etc.

As for other topics... I'd say it depends on the person you're with and the location. I think movies can be kind of restricting if that's all the date is, unless you're both comfortable watching and making jokes/snarky comments/talking about what's going on during, which can be a lot of fun.

Generally, I'd assume going for common interests and showing genuine interest in what they're saying, contributing yourself, etc. Making terrible puns optional. I joke if it's me on a date they have to make puns otherwise it just won't ever work soz.

Conversation flows naturally if you're not scripting yourself, I think.

Claudaine January 11th, 2015 3:09 AM

Topics I wouldn't be game for on a first date... Sex.

As for what I would discuss... man... On my last date I had to deal with a language barrier and that was no fun at all. There was also this preconception, on his part, that I would love to give him an English lesson on our date... I didn't. But, I did find that steering the conversation towards hobbies and interests helped a little. (He only had one hobby though...)

I find that playing a board/card game on a first date in a bar/pub usually works out. You can talk about the game, let out your playful/competitive side. And from there you can talk about other games... what you liked as a child, which leads to talking about your childhood and things just escalate from there. Drinks also takes the pressure off a bit. You don't have to sit there for a whole meal, worrying about what to talk about. And if you both hate it, you can bail after the first drink!

Rogue planet January 12th, 2015 1:49 AM

Casually mention a range of different topics until your date clearly shows interest in one of them then roll with it

Pinkie-Dawn January 12th, 2015 8:12 AM

Any topic that isn't related to sex, past relationships, and your bizarre obsessions. Your job on your first date is to not show your affection so easily, for you have to have your date find out on his/her own.


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