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-   -   Dear Anonymous (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=346537)

acatfrommars December 23rd, 2015 1:20 AM

(I had been looking for this thread ever since I came back. I thought you guys had gotten rid of it, but I'm glad that was not the case).

Dear anon,

It was great to see you over the weekend! I'm glad that your famiyl is doing well, the two kids are growing quite ab it and it seems like you guys are doing well! The youngest is really little but looks a lot like you, and the older one looks a lot like his father. Besides my main family, out of everyone there you're one of my favorite one to talk to. When I'm around you I don't feel like I have anything to prove and am not judged, like a lot of the others do. I know that one day I may have a lot of money but I don't really care as much about that as you think I do, and s much as the family does which can get quite annoying. I believe that earthly possessions such as money become less significant as one gets older. Who knows though, I am still young I guess; I have a lot that I still want to do! Honestly, we are like leaves. We grow up in the spring, have the best times of our lives in the summer and then start to grow dimmer and reflect on life in the fall. Anyways, that's besides the point. I'm glad that I got to see you even though it may only be once a year; I hope that everything is going well and that you are having a good life. I will always be uncle ---, and need to try to see you and your kids a couple of times a year at least even when I get older. I would like to be a part of your kid's life and hope that you will let me because I don't want to be just another "face-valued" person like most of the family seems to be only meeting around these times of year. I believe that our generation has less tension than the ones before us even though there is such a gap in all of our years.


Dear anon,

Thanks for having coffee with me before we left to go hoem for break. I don't really want a relationship so to say, but I would like to be a good friend. I just don't believe that right now is the time in life to have a serious relationship, and I want to wait until that time. I believe that one day may be a good time, but that there is also a lot that I want to do as well. While I do think you are one of the most prettiest girls I have seen, I don't want to dissapoint or hurt you. Hope we can stay good friends, and I'll always be there for you.

Astinus December 23rd, 2015 7:04 PM

Dear Anon,

You made my day when you smiled at me the first time we saw each other today. I could have been anyone walking behind you, but you turned around, and you smiled and I smiled back. Throughout the day, we just ran into each other. Either one of us needed help from the other, or we'd just see each other and stop to talk about whatever. And the minutes just go by as we laugh together.

I still can't figure you out, though. And I'm sure you can't figure me out. So we'll just continue to act the way that we currently are until something finally changes.

--

Dear You,

We have a month to get this done, and already we're doing so well together. Let's keep up the good work, all right? Even though we don't have the Bruno Mars channel to listen to anymore.

But really, you're good at what you do, and I'm glad that we're working on this giant project together.

moon December 24th, 2015 11:27 PM

DA,
I don't know if I can.


DA2,
Learn from me! I have actually seen quite a few things, and you are not where I am yet.


DA3,
It's funny how logic can scream yes and no at the same time. I'd never want to make you feel uncomfortable though, and that's enough reason for me to never let you know. Don't worry.


DA2,
See? :)

Galho December 25th, 2015 1:45 PM

Dear Anon,

Im sorry I walked away from you. Im sorry it happened the way it did, and Im sorry for not doing anything about it. I was gonna write it was all for the best, but how the hell can I know that? I have no way whatsoever of finding a way to fix our relationship. It is obvious that your depression and your way of walking away from others pushed us away from our own selves. I was willing to help you, you weren't as willing to accept it as i hoped it would've been. I feel more and more guilty of not writing this message directly to you, but instead writing it here, where you wont even see it: Because i know that it hurts so much to even try to be able to talk to you again. I loved you so much, and i understood when you told me you couldn't submit yourself to the pain of a platonic relationship, but yet, i would've failed so hard because I'm a weakling that cannot support you. So maybe it was actually a good idea to step away, for now: It's also been a while since we've talked. I feel so weak when i just try not to talk to you again, because we both ****ed it up so hard. Yet, i feel like maybe not talking to you is the best, because of the way I could probably hurt you. I miss our conversations and I miss you as well, but for now i cannot commit myself; maybe if its only for now.

TheScarletSword December 28th, 2015 2:51 AM

Dear Anonymous,

Spoiler:

There's a lot I could say about how much I care for you. More than anybody in the world. The way you've been there for me, helping me through my darkest times. The way you would message me if I wasn't feeling well; checking in nearly every other hour that day after I felt dangerously exhausted and tired after walking down in 90F degree weather downtown for hours. Yet I know I pissed away that comfort in me. My emotional reactions to you having minor snappy moments, or perhaps that misunderstanding about your GPA that gave off the impression I was being patronizing during my usual words of encouragement. My constant nagging at you for being less talkative, staying around a community I didn't want to be around because of you, and my own naivety of lurking in your chat without a name, simply not thinking of the possibility of you taking that the wrong way. And then when I pressured and pressured you to tell me who your friend liked instead of asking him myself. It's been nearly half a year since all of this started and everything still haunts me to at least some degree every time I talk to you. Because I fear you'll never regain the comfort you had in me again. I fear you look at me the same way you look at your third ex; someone who you've generally shown to me to be uncomfortable around. I fear all of this will not only be a long-term damper on our friendship, but cause you to shut the door on us dating completely.

I'm ever so happy to see you regaining comfort in me slowly, and I write all of this keeping in mind we only just started talking again, and it takes time. But I still fear these things, because I know you're the hardheaded type. I know you're the type to not spill your guts, even when pushed except to the most trustworthy of individuals. I fear these things because I know the arguments we had and the damage dealt was significant. Actions speak louder than words, and I intend to demonstrate that. I don't know your true thoughts about me right now. I just want the days of us being two inseparable peas in a pod back. The days where you would lean your head against me or hug me; the days where we would stay on voice call during your breaks for hours while you would practice clarinet, the days where we were able to hang out more on a daily basis without hesitation or uncertainty. The days where you could confide in me anything, and I would listen to you and comfort you if need be. When I see you interacting with certain individuals you're close to, I see shades of that old interaction between us. It's not because of you having that interaction with them why I get sad, it's because we aren't at that level anymore. Perhaps you've changed more in this year than I thought, and you've simply changed how you go about certain things with everyone. And that's fine if that's the case; because deep down I know you're still the same kind nerd who would throw herself down to help others no matter what. I just can't help but feel fear about all these things, and immense regret about everything negative that happened between us this year. I hate the fact that you cried on voice call to our friend because of my stupidity. You shed tears because of something I did.

I spent these past 4 months reflecting and growing so none of this could ever happen again. I focused on myself and things I wanted to do. When you're able to love yourself, you can love someone else even more. Even if you close the door on us dating, I still want to be one of your very best friends. Because platonically, I truly, legitimately wholeheartedly love you with every single fiber of my being. And quite honestly, sometimes I question if that love hasn't already converted my romantic interest in you into romantic love. I try not to feel like that for someone until I actually date them. Getting to meet you IRL for those two days was one of the most fantastic experiences for me in a long time; regardless of how the scheduling turned out. Such strong feelings for you wouldn't exist without a reason, and that's because even after our arguments and being apart for so long, I know the true side of you. Such strong feelings sometimes overwhelm me with selfishness, but I won't ever let that overtake me again.

Perhaps I'm just an impatient little bugger; but finding ways like these to handle such feelings in the first place is part of the experience. Here's to hope that we can continue to repair all of this damage.

LordGrizz December 28th, 2015 6:16 AM

Dear Anon

Heard from a mutual friend that you're pregnant now. This should be where I say congrats but for some reason I have less than good intentions for you in my heart. You played me for years, you made me think you loved me, and when **** got rough and I couldn't cater to your expensive tastes you left me looking stupid as ****. It made me feel pathetic to know that I deserved better but clung to your memory like a nursing infant. I picked up a smoking habit, started selling drugs, and drinking until I couldn't stand. You dragged my name through the mud and made me the bad guy. People came to my house trying to fight me on the daily for the twisted lies you concocted. I almost killed one of those white knights you created with your slander. You know the saddest fact of it all though? I still loved you. No more however I'm done and though you'll never see this, I finish this **** with a deep breath and sigh of relief.

Yours no more, Brandon
P.S. That was strangely therapeutic.

seeker December 28th, 2015 8:38 AM

dear anonymous,

I'm blessed and cursed by a Midas touch. Everything and everyone around me are more than I could conceivably have dreamt of having, growing up. I was born into a World where those who were called my guardians only ever fought and gave me the bare minimum of affection. Almost everyone I ever loved at a young age walked out of my life, which is something I only blame on the consequence of living - not a criticism of myself, or even them.

You must understand that I am really myself when I meet someone first, but when we draw close my walls grow tall. My emotions became sentries with everyone I've held dear, they're not easily taken down. When I lose an ounce of trust in someone, I lose it all. Needing to be rebuilt once more.

It's not the way I wish to live, it's not something you deserve to put up with. I must learn to be a better man, to cherish without consequence. To love without judgement. To be myself without analysing any more.

I shall let the leaf in the wind land where it may, no longer shall the past dictate mine, or indeed our future.

Talon December 28th, 2015 10:58 AM

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for existing. Thank you for being there. Thank you in general. I love you but I can't be around you. You're tearing me apart with one hand and sewing me back together with the other. You don't know what you do to me, and it's best kept that way. You don't need to know how I really feel. You don't need to know that you're the greatest thing to happen to me. You don't need to know that you're also the worst thing to happen to me. You hurt me deep. Really deep. You didn't do it on purpose, it wasn't your fault. My twisted mind pulls things out of proportion. I do this too myself. I told myself that you would do this to me, I knew it from the start. It was obvious to me that we couldn't be together, but I tried anyways. You don't want relationships, I get that and I'm okay with that. You can do you, you're your own person. I just wish you knew what I go through at home with my parents. I really wish you knew. I don't think you should now, though. If you knew now that you were the only thing keeping me sane you'd laugh because now you're making insane. It's hard for me to let you go, it really is, but I have to. For my own sake, I have to. I know that in the end you're not even going to care or honestly notice that I'm gone. That's okay. I have to move on from you. You've made the happiest man alive and then torn me to shreds in a matter of hours and you don't even know you did it. You didn't even mean to. You were just telling me the truth, but I already knew the truth. So why did it hurt so much to hear it from you directly? That's a question I'll never be able to answer and hopefully will never have to. I'll never understand what you do to me, but I deep inside I love it. I love the thrill and nerves I get when I'm around you, and then when I get home and you hurt me again I love it. I just can't deal with it anymore though, I'm done. It's hard for me to let you go. It's very hard. I have to though. So, when you probably never hear from me again, just know I love you.

Bloodmoon92 December 28th, 2015 9:46 PM

DA

I'm sorry I asked about your family. I should have asked how your Christmas was and what presents you received and if you gave any cool ones.

Sir Codin December 30th, 2015 6:04 PM

Dear Anonymouses everywhere,

You wanna know what else spoils the movie for you? ACTUALLY SEEING THE DAMN MOVIE. Seriously, it's been almost two weeks now...at this point, it's your own fault.

Sydian December 30th, 2015 6:22 PM

da,

don't ****ing guilt trip me.

da,

lmfao really i'm putting a new name on my tag so no one can ever find me again :)))

Universe December 30th, 2015 8:49 PM

da,

glad to see you wearing my struggles as a stylistic choice thats cool

acatfrommars December 30th, 2015 10:10 PM

Dear anon,

I wish that we could go to California over the next break, I've never been there and it would have been really cool if we could have gone. I've never been that far out west but will definitely go there one day. Maybe we can go to Colorado or New Mexico instead? I'm about to just say screw it and camp in the Ozarks for a week. I know you'd be pissed but it's whatever.

Fairy Tale~ December 30th, 2015 11:16 PM

Dear anon.
You think you can leave us and then just barge in like your part of my life? **** you.

Flowerchild December 31st, 2015 2:59 AM

Dear Anons
I'm really sorry for how everything ended the other day. I realize that me and alcohol are not a good combination, and that I could have tried harder to keep things lighthearted and not start fights. I'm also sorry for having tried to pull the "I was drunk it's not my fault," card once it was over. I might have ruined friendships with my three best friends, and I really don't think I can make it without you guys. I doubt you want to talk to me for a while. Maybe when school starts we can repair the damage.

Circuit January 5th, 2016 11:06 AM

da
I hate you. With all my being. You are never happy with anything and yet you never make any attempt to improve or change things. You're constantly in my life and I'm sick of your pessimism. I just want to get on, and do something. I want to improve, get better, and you constantly drag me back down to the point where I'm incapable of doing anything.

da
I wish I could tell you everything going on in my head. But I'm scared that if I did, you'd turn your back on me. I love how close we are, and losing that would crush me. But I also wish I could lean on you a little more. I really need it right now, as selfish as that is.

da
I know how useless I really am. Yet you manage to remind me every day. But I guess it's true actually. I really am, I can't do anything. I stumble along unable to pick myself up and I don't know how to ask the person who could help for that help. So many negatives bleh.

noa January 5th, 2016 11:26 AM

DA,

:T
That's all.

Love,
Noa

pastelspectre January 5th, 2016 2:06 PM

Dear anonymous,
I wish you would make up your mind and just break up with her already. We both know we can't resist each other and you said yourself that your relationship was going down the gutter basically. So why don't you just leave her instead of cheating on her and flirting with me? Your girlfriend already hates me enough, don't give her more of a reason to hate me even more.

Xadvid January 6th, 2016 5:27 PM

Dear Anon,

Did you not learn from the warning from last time? You just screwed us even more by adding to our debt. Why are you so god damn ignorant? You never think things through and as a result, you're always causing so much crap for everyone and then you have the audacity to accuse him and us? He's always been looking out for us and actually providing us everything while you sit on your *** doing nothing. We deserve so much more than you. You should be grateful he decided to let you stay, even though you don't deserve any of us.

Sirfetch’d January 6th, 2016 8:23 PM

Dear anon,

Want to start over?

Sun January 7th, 2016 7:29 AM

Dear Anonymous,

You are stressing me too much lately, I don't even know what is wrong. There were at twice the occasions that I wanted to hear 'I'm sorry,' but nope, I heard nothing. I'm getting tired of all this tension you are building.

Universe January 9th, 2016 12:41 PM

Dear Anonymous,

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
Where I does not exist, nor you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets (Simplified)

Fairy Tale~ January 10th, 2016 8:32 PM

Da
Just when you gain my trust... You fuck me over. You'll never change.

Tsutarja January 11th, 2016 8:15 AM

Dear anonymous,

Thank you for not telling us as an organization that you've resigned. Now we don't know what to do.

Leviathan January 11th, 2016 4:34 PM

Dear anonymous,

It's so nice to learn that some things never change. I am glad, then, that I have a sense of humour which allows me to observe ongoing events with a laissez-faire attitude, for I would hate to think how a sensitive person would react if they swapped places with me.


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