Welcome, to my story! I'm always open for character ideas, criticism, etc. For characters, if I don't use yours, don't be disappointed, or sad, or in general have a bad mood about it. It might mean that I couldn't make room for your character, or just didn't really want to use it. Criticism is always appreciated! Anyways, let's get started.
Chapter 1; The Awakening
Spoiler:
The Pokemon encased itself in its maroon orb. You've done this to me. Now it's time to pay... An orb ahead shimmered, depicting a baby Shinx. The Shinx was strange, it had a gold tuft of fur, resembling a small star, on its forehead. Here I come...
Ace silently stalked the Rattata, making sure his tail was low, and that he made no sound. He was alert. He silently stalked until he was close enough to tackle the Rattata. Now! Ace jumped and used Tackle. The Rattata hissed and shot up. The Rattata reared up and spun around Oh no you don't! Ace used Thunder Wave, there was a movement of energy through Ace's body and he released a wave of electricity. The Rattata toppled and began convulsing from the electricity. Ace used Thunder Shock, and the Rattata fainted. "That's what you get for stealing my berries." a Poochyena jumped out from the undergrowth
"Nice, Ace!"
"Oh, hey Dacs," Ace padded over to the Poochyena "what's the status on the berries?"
"I've got an Oran, Chesto, and a few Rawst berries, you?"
"This Rattata stole my berries." Ace kicked the Rattata
"Well, what'd you have before he stole them." Dacs looked reluctantly at the Rattata
"Only a few Cheri berries."
"Well, that's okay! We only have three mouths to feed, so we should be fine."
"I was going to those big shelters the humans build, they always have the best berries."
"But don't they usually have those scary Pokemon, like Herdier and Stoutland?"
"Yeah, but I've learned which shelters have which," Ace jumped up onto a log and began crossing a stream, the undergrowth was thick "Except for this one, the old humans moved out, and new ones came in, and they started moving these big things from inside the giant machine."
"Did they have any Pokemon?"
"I don't know, maybe. That's another reason I was coming to the human place."
"Well, we'll see."
Ace walked by the giant wood barrier the humans had built, and jumped up. "Wait, Ace, I can't jump that high!" Dacs complained.
"I know, I'm gathering more berries."
"Then what do I do?"
"Go down to the shelter that I was talking about earlier, in the forest. I'll get the berries."
"Which one is it? All these shelters are so tight together, and look so similar!"
"It'll be huge. The fence is huge, but you can easily get through. You'll know when you find it, because there'll be big," Ace jumped down into the area the barrier had protected "statue, you can't miss it."
"Ok, which direction is it?" Dacs asked looking around
Ace jumped up again "That way." Ace pointed down the hill with his paw.
"Thanks, I'll see you when I get back."
"Kay."
Ace jumped down the barrier into the protected area again, he looked over at the nearby bushes and observed three different varieties of berries Oran, Leppa, and Pecha berries. He began plucking the Oran berries from their vine, he finished the vine and buried the berries nearby. He plucked the other berries, buried them, and continued this process down several different shelters. Before long, Dacs came running up.
"Ace! Ace!" Ace jumped over a barrier and landed softly on the ground
"What is it?"
"There's a Pokemon there, an Eevee!"
"Ok, not interested so far."
"Dude, c'mon she's great, come meet her!"
"Wait, you already conversed with it?"
"Well, yeah! Also, it's a she."
"I guess, why not?"
Dacs led the way down the hill and through a hole in the big barrier of the shelter. "She's waiting over here."
Dacs walked into a big hedge, where there was a small entrance to a "cave" of sorts. Inside was a silvery-grey Eevee. Ace'd never seen anything like it! "Ace, this is Kyra. Kyra, this is Ace." Ace dipped his head "Hello." Kyra didn't reply, her pupils were dilated, and she stared for a few seconds. Ace leaned over to Dacs and whispered "Is uh, she okay?" Kyra shook her head quickly and explained herself "I-I'm Kyra" She dipped her head quickly.
"So, is this, your home?" Ace peeked out the bush
"Mmhmmm!"
"Oh, uh, cool," Ace studied the sky, it was a flurry of reds, oranges, and yellows "Hey, Dacs, we should be leaving soon, it's getting late, and Red'll get worried if we don't get back soon."
"Ok, then. Let's go," Dacs pushed himself past Ace "Well, we better be on our way, bye, Kyra."
"Actually, I'm coming with," Kyra jumped up past Dacs "I wanna come with you."
"Are you sure? It's not easy being a wild Pokemon." Dacs questioned
"I'm positive."
On the way back, Kyra helped with the lot of berries Ace had picked at the shelters. "You'll like Red, he's a Houndour, his paws are crimson red, that's why we call him Red in the first place." Dacs said
"What's he like?"
"He's a grump, and he doesn't usually come with us for berries."
We eventually arrived in our hollow. The moon was high. Red was already in his nest, asleep. The three dropped off the berries in the storage pile, Ace and Dacs went to their nests, and Kyra just stood in the clearing, looking for a place to sleep. Ace closed his eyes. Kyra must've chose to sleep next to Ace, because Ace felt a wave of warmth embrace his body, just before dozing off.
That was Chapter 1. Tell me what you think! If you notice any problems point them out, I'll fix 'em right up!
Lots of things have made me put off writing part 2. I got started twice, I believe, but my selfish friends called me on Skype. I'll try to get started soon, this isn't abandoned, for those of you who like the series. T.T Anyways, so far it looks like it's going good, other than the massive wait for chapter 2.
NOOOOOO!!!!! I had chapter two wrote, and ready to be uploaded, but something broke and I lost all my progress. T_T Give me a few more days, and I'll upload it.
KirbyRobot
June 21st, 2015 8:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KirbyRobot
(Post 8762988)
Welcome, to my story! I'm always open for character ideas, criticism, etc. For characters, if I don't use yours, don't be disappointed, or sad, or in general have a bad mood about it. It might mean that I couldn't make room for your character, or just didn't really want to use it. Criticism is always appreciated! Anyways, let's get started.
Chapter 1; The Awakening
Spoiler:
The Pokemon encased itself in its maroon orb. You've done this to me. Now it's time to pay... An orb ahead shimmered, depicting a baby Shinx. The Shinx was strange, it had a gold tuft of fur, resembling a small star, on its forehead. Here I come...
Ace silently stalked the Rattata, making sure his tail was low, and that he made no sound. He was alert. He silently stalked until he was close enough to tackle the Rattata. Now! Ace jumped and used Tackle. The Rattata hissed and shot up. The Rattata reared up and spun around Oh no you don't! Ace used Thunder Wave, there was a movement of energy through Ace's body and he released a wave of electricity. The Rattata toppled and began convulsing from the electricity. Ace used Thunder Shock, and the Rattata fainted. "That's what you get for stealing my berries." a Poochyena jumped out from the undergrowth
"Nice, Ace!"
"Oh, hey Dacs," Ace padded over to the Poochyena "what's the status on the berries?"
"I've got an Oran, Chesto, and a few Rawst berries, you?"
"This Rattata stole my berries." Ace kicked the Rattata
"Well, what'd you have before he stole them." Dacs looked reluctantly at the Rattata
"Only a few Cheri berries."
"Well, that's okay! We only have three mouths to feed, so we should be fine."
"I was going to those big shelters the humans build, they always have the best berries."
"But don't they usually have those scary Pokemon, like Herdier and Stoutland?"
"Yeah, but I've learned which shelters have which," Ace jumped up onto a log and began crossing a stream, the undergrowth was thick "Except for this one, the old humans moved out, and new ones came in, and they started moving these big things from inside the giant machine."
"Did they have any Pokemon?"
"I don't know, maybe. That's another reason I was coming to the human place."
"Well, we'll see."
Ace walked by the giant wood barrier the humans had built, and jumped up. "Wait, Ace, I can't jump that high!" Dacs complained.
"I know, I'm gathering more berries."
"Then what do I do?"
"Go down to the shelter that I was talking about earlier, in the forest. I'll get the berries."
"Which one is it? All these shelters are so tight together, and look so similar!"
"It'll be huge. The fence is huge, but you can easily get through. You'll know when you find it, because there'll be big," Ace jumped down into the area the barrier had protected "statue, you can't miss it."
"Ok, which direction is it?" Dacs asked looking around
Ace jumped up again "That way." Ace pointed down the hill with his paw.
"Thanks, I'll see you when I get back."
"Kay."
Ace jumped down the barrier into the protected area again, he looked over at the nearby bushes and observed three different varieties of berries Oran, Leppa, and Pecha berries. He began plucking the Oran berries from their vine, he finished the vine and buried the berries nearby. He plucked the other berries, buried them, and continued this process down several different shelters. Before long, Dacs came running up.
"Ace! Ace!" Ace jumped over a barrier and landed softly on the ground
"What is it?"
"There's a Pokemon there, an Eevee!"
"Ok, not interested so far."
"Dude, c'mon she's great, come meet her!"
"Wait, you already conversed with it?"
"Well, yeah! Also, it's a she."
"I guess, why not?"
Dacs led the way down the hill and through a hole in the big barrier of the shelter. "She's waiting over here."
Dacs walked into a big hedge, where there was a small entrance to a "cave" of sorts. Inside was a silvery-grey Eevee. Ace'd never seen anything like it! "Ace, this is Kyra. Kyra, this is Ace." Ace dipped his head "Hello." Kyra didn't reply, her pupils were dilated, and she stared for a few seconds. Ace leaned over to Dacs and whispered "Is uh, she okay?" Kyra shook her head quickly and explained herself "I-I'm Kyra" She dipped her head quickly.
"So, is this, your home?" Ace peeked out the bush
"Mmhmmm!"
"Oh, uh, cool," Ace studied the sky, it was a flurry of reds, oranges, and yellows "Hey, Dacs, we should be leaving soon, it's getting late, and Red'll get worried if we don't get back soon."
"Ok, then. Let's go," Dacs pushed himself past Ace "Well, we better be on our way, bye, Kyra."
"Actually, I'm coming with," Kyra jumped up past Dacs "I wanna come with you."
"Are you sure? It's not easy being a wild Pokemon." Dacs questioned
"I'm positive."
On the way back, Kyra helped with the lot of berries Ace had picked at the shelters. "You'll like Red, he's a Houndour, his paws are crimson red, that's why we call him Red in the first place." Dacs said
"What's he like?"
"He's a grump, and he doesn't usually come with us for berries."
We eventually arrived in our hollow. The moon was high. Red was already in his nest, asleep. The three dropped off the berries in the storage pile, Ace and Dacs went to their nests, and Kyra just stood in the clearing, looking for a place to sleep. Ace closed his eyes. Kyra must've chose to sleep next to Ace, because Ace felt a wave of warmth embrace his body, just before dozing off.
That was Chapter 1. Tell me what you think! If you notice any problems point them out, I'll fix 'em right up!
Lots of things have made me put off writing part 2. I got started twice, I believe, but my selfish friends called me on Skype. I'll try to get started soon, this isn't abandoned, for those of you who like the series. T.T Anyways, so far it looks like it's going good, other than the massive wait for chapter 2.
Just delete this post, it was an accident T_T
KirbyRobot
July 14th, 2015 11:11 PM
I sincerely apologize for the absolutely MASSIVE wait. This took me forever to get done, there were several versions of it in the past, but every single time something went wrong, or I just couldn't finish it. I thank the moderator's for not taking this down, as I really want to give this series a go. Like I said before, if you notice any problems in the story, please inform me! :D
Chapter 2: The Disappearence
Spoiler:
Something sharp scratched Ace's nose. He opened his eyes and looked up, Red was glaring down at him. "What do you want?" Ace mumbled.
"Me and Dacs are going to search for berries. We'll see you later."
"Yeah yeah, see ya."
Ace dragged himself to the berry pile and picked out an Oran berry, he chomped down on the berry and tried to stay awake, but eventually fell back asleep. Kyra had kept on moving around and it kept Ace up all night.
Ace was forced awake by a sharp prod in the side. "You guys are already back? But I just fell asleep..." Ace complained
"Aaaace..."
"Noooo..."
"Aaaace!" there was a pause "ACE!"
Ace's fur bristled and he jumped up. Kyra was standing angrily in front of him. "Oh, it's just you..." Ace sighed in relief.
"Just me!?" Kyra bristled "You fell asleep on the berry pile!"
"Sorry, but you kept me up all night, last night!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I bother the Alpha's sleep? Does the Alpha need a honeycomb to calm down?"
"Hey!" Ace chuckled "don't even."
"Don't even what?"
"I'm not afraid to electrocute you!"
"Well I'm not afraid tackle you."
Ace and Kyra butted heads and Ace's fur started getting poofy from the electricity sticking to his fur. Ace let out a small discharge and made Kyra jump. "Hey!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt the Alpha, you might wanna stay away from water for a few days, might just get ya."
"Well I didn't think you'd actually shock me!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever. You can go near water and stuff, it was only a shock. The effect should've worn off by now."
"Okay, good. I trust you," Kyra picked out a berry "hey, where did Dacs and Red go?"
"I think they went out for berries?" I don't remember I was barely awake when they told me."
"Good job paying attention."
"Well what about that scratch on your muzzle?"
Ace went cross eyed and tried to look at his muzzle "Where?"
"Riiight--" Kyra poked her paw against his muzzle "there!
Ace lost his balance and fell on his back. Kyra burst out with laughter and Ace stood up, his face hot with embarassment.
"H-Hey! That's not cool!" Ace puffed out his cheeks
"So, what are we gonna do today?"
"Well we should probably go out and get berries."
"But, what about the camp?"
"It's super hidden. We've managed to get away from pretty scary things out there by getting here through short-cuts and tricks."
"Like what?"
"Well we've gone through logs, caves, rivers, and jumped through tr--"
"I mean what have you had to get away from?"
"Oh, pretty big things."
"Like what?"
"Well we've managed to sneak away from some Garchomp, I think we've gotten away from a few packs of Houndoom, and I think our biggest feat is getting away from an angry
pride of Pyroar."
"Wow."
"Yeah, we've only ever lost one member of our camp..."
"Who was he?"
"He was a Murkrow, his name was Alajha, but he was always cool and relaxed, so we just called him Chilled."
"What happened?"
"Well... One day me and him were out looking for berries. He would usually fly up and find out where the good spots for berries were, at the time Red didn't live in camp."
Ace remembered the whole story and began telling it to her "Hey Chilled, you mind flying up? I'd like to get a few more berries before we head back to Dacs."
"Sure thing." Chilled flew up and looked around. He found a patch of berries and shot down a Dark Pulse for Ace to see.
"Thanks!"
Ace began to run over to the dark energy left by Chilled's Dark Pulse. Suddenly there was a loud noise, similar to lighting, and then he heard Chilled calling for help. Ace reared and ran towards to the calls of help.
Ace found Chilled hanging on some foliage growing in a crack in a wall of a ravine. "Chilled! I'm here, what happened!?"
"I was hit by some sort of lighting move..." Chilled's voice trailed off
"C'Mon Chilled, stay with me!"
a few moments passed, and Chilled still hadn't moved, Ace looked closely and could see he was breathing steadily, he was calming down. Suddenly Chilled jumped awake and flapped his wings upwards as hard as he could. He slowly came off the bush and was making his way up the ravine. Ace heard something behind him snap, and a bolt of electricity shot over Ace. The electricity in Ace's fur began to be pulled up, and slowly two smaller bolts merged with the larger one. Ace looked back at Chilled. Who was being electrocuted, and he was staring right into Ace's eyes. His eyes were full of dismay and they seemed to be asking "Why would you do this to me?" Ace tried telling Chilled it wasn't him that was using the electricity. The bolt disappeared in small little sparks. Ace spun around and used Thunder Bolt, but it hit nothing. Ace heard Chilled yell at him, and he fell. Ace went over to look and saw Chilled hit the river at the bottom of the ravine, black feathers floated up to the surface and floated down the river.
"Well, that's the story." Ace looked over at Kyra. Her ears were flopped down, and she was frowning, her eyes were locked on Ace. "W-what's wrong? Is there something on me?" Ace looked down at his chest.
Kyra didn't move, her eyes still locked on Ace. "Uh... Helloooooo Kyra?" Ace waved his paw in her face. Kyra realized she was staring.
"I-I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to!" Kyra was frantic and began dipping her head in.
"Yeah, whatever. Anyways, we better be going soon." Ace stretched and began for the entrance. Kyra followed quickly.
"Okay... so 6 Oran berries, 3 Cheri berries and 7 Pecha berries. We got enough to last us a few days. And our pile is already big enough to last us through winter!" Ace exclaimed happily.
"That long? Seriously!?"
"Yeah, berries usually last you a whole day. Remember that Chesto berry you ate this morning?"
"Of course I do!"
"Are you hungry at all right now?"
"Well not all th- Oh yeaah, you're right!"
Ace glanced up at the sky, it was a crimson-orange color. "We better go home soon. Dacs and Red are probably thinking we got caught by some humans if we don't get home soon." Ace said
"Awww, but I want to explore more!" Kyra moaned
"Well, if you want we can do that tomorrow."
"Aw, sweet!"
The trek home was a short one. Kyra had proved to be more agile than Dacs and Red. She could maneuver around thorn bushes and could jump higher. Ace'd found his new partner for finding berries.
Kyra and Ace arrived in the camp. The camp seemed empty, the pile of berries hadn't grown at all. Ace told Kyra that he and Dacs had done over-night berry hunts before, so he wasn't all that worried. Although. Something he missed was a red and black tuft of fur near the camp entrance.
KirbyRobot
August 17th, 2015 8:01 PM
This story has not been abandoned. I've been SUPER busy. Also, I'm gonna be busy prepping for a campout I'm having soon, I am gonna be back the 22nd but, I'm gonna be busy unpacking and straightening everything out. Delays really suck... I have plans to get the next part out whenever I can, but I don't have an ideas that aren't cliche or over done, so I'm gonna need a bit to plan. My friends keep my extremely busy. Also, I have plans for another series after this one on another forum, but the thing is, my mind keeps trailing off into development for that series. I apologize for not uploading the second part sooner.