![]() |
Isn't it privileged to be calling out relationshipzoning like it's equivalent to friendzoning? I don't know about the rest of you, but I think it's easier to be crushed upon than have that unrequited crush yourself.
|
Quote:
I honestly do not understand what you're trying to say here. I specifically told you how to woo women: Quote:
Quote:
If you really don't believe that there are people whining about how they are Nice Guys who keep getting "friendzoned," just do a Google search. The proof is in the pudding. I reiterate: you should act with a basic level of niceness towards everyone, regardless of whether you like them. How you treat people actually says a lot about you. I pay attention to how people treat retail employees, waitresses and other people on-the-job; how someone treats an employee says a lot about their personality. It is very telling, and is a much better indicator of whether or not the person is dating material. Quote:
I hate to say it, but based on your previous post, which you acknowledge was messed up, you are seriously not in a position to talk about what relationships were or are. I also have no idea why you're talking about Espeon or clones, it is very weird. Quote:
Quote:
First off, you should be nice because that is a basic thing all human beings should be. We do not get rewarded for showing a basic amount of human decency. Again, if someone thinks one of their best qualities is their niceness, then it signals to potential suitors that there is nothing else interesting or attractive about them. Again, see here. Of course people only act a certain way towards people they're romantically/sexually interested in, nobody's denying that. But each person, regardless of their gender, likes and is attracted to different things. Being nice to someone is generally not attractive in itself, because again, we expect everyone to be "nice" at the very least. It's a very, very low bar, and if all you are is "nice" then it doesn't set you apart from anyone else. This is why the whole rhetoric of "I'm a Nice Guy, why don't women like me?" is so ridiculous. You get people act with a basic amount of niceness to the object of their affection, and get confounded when their affection isn't returned. It's because being nice doesn't actually make you stand out or signify on its own that you're interested in someone. Ugh. Quote:
~Psychic |
Frustrating sure, but you're not the one with your hopes dashed. I don't know, I have seen people crush hard and it sucks for them when the feelings aren't returned. That's why I think it's a bit cushy when we're talking about friendzoning and relationshipzoning like they're equivalent in severity. For me, people complaining from a position of superiority that marginalizes more severe suffering = privilege.
Regarding your other points, you shouldn't construe my lack of response as agreement. You're misreading my points and I don't think it's necessary for me to quote myself and highlight all those points that you didn't address and if you did address would make your response redundant. I also think that you're really oversimplifying and diminishing the value of "niceness". When we praise someone for being nice, we're not saying that oh they're basic human levels of nice and that's awesome because they're a regular decent person. No, we're talking about someone who goes above and beyond that. I have some friends, on PC, for that matter, whose highest quality, in my opinion, is their niceness. They are patient, kind, understanding, with real commitment. When they talk, there's no judgment or attitude in what they have to say or think. That's a really nice person, and someone who shows a level of kindness that honestly isn't common. And you could use any of those, among other, words to describe them, but nice isn't off the mark at all. And being nice to someone does indeed make you stand out among everybody else. And that's because when you're nice to someone because you're interested in them, you're probably not showing them the same respect or attention that you do everybody else - you're going beyond that, you're doing favours, you're complimenting them, whatever, all of which can absolutely described as "nice"! What I'm getting from what you're saying is that being nice is just a basic human thing that everybody should have and really wouldn't distinguish a person from others when it comes to what matters in a relationship. I couldn't disagree with that more. |
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
You are using the words "superiority," "marginalizes" and "privilege" all incorrectly. What you are saying is that having a crush on someone makes you inferior, insignificant, and means you have less rights or advantages than the object of your desire. If you honestly believe that having a crush on someone is equivalent to literally being less important and having less rights than someone else, you're going to have to prove it. Quote:
Quote:
Obviously people whose niceness goes above and beyond do exist. I have friends like that too, they're great, but their positive qualities go beyond "nice," just as you described your friends as far beyond simply "nice." They also aren't nice because they want or expect something in return. Quote:
When I said in my previous post that I pay attention to how people treat employees in the service/retail industries, I don't only mean potential suitors, I mean all of my friends. I don't like to associate with people who can't show basic decency to others, and as a result, I've cultivated a stellar group of friends. When looking for a potential suitor, being as nice as my friends is a prerequisite, not a plus. I think a lot of people feel similarly, because we want more than just a Nice Guy. ~Psychic |
You said:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Being superior means being above someone in a hierarchy or a structure. If you have a crush on someone, they have power over you. So the person being crushed on is superior in that relationship and hence possesses superiority blah blah blah Marginalize means to make less significant. I believe that if you speak of two scenarios as if they were equal when they are not, then you are making the more severe scenario less significant - hence marginalizing. Like talking about First World Problems in a way that marginalizes problems of greater magnitude in the global South. Privilege is just some benefit that a group of people have over others. People who don't have unrequited crushes on others have the benefit of not having to feel suck about that crush. That's a privilege. Like how people who aren't Black or Latino or Arab these days have the benefit of not feeling wary about the police. I realize that you probably engage in some discourse that takes more circumscribed definitions of those words and limits the contexts in which they are used. I'm using those words as they mean generally but I don't think that it makes my usage of those words wrong. I think the average person will find some sense in what I am saying and wouldn't object with my usage of those terms. \ And since when did the conversation around getting friendzoned revolve around "Nice Guys"? How many "Nice Guys" do we actually know in real life? I get this feeling that it's this stereotype or caricature that just went viral a couple of years back thanks to the likes of nigahiga (who I enjoy, no disrespect to him) so I don't see why we're (and not all of us) are focusing on "Nice Guys" when the friendzone (getting placed in that mental category from which relationships do not emerge/getting pulled out of relationship possibility limbo right?) is something that can happen to anybody. The first few posts were all about how this goes both ways and how it happens to individuals, but now we're just revolving around "Nice Guys" because they're so big of a deal, right? Because loverzoning the other person is necessary to getting friendzoned? I feel like you're taking this discussion to a certain case that is stereotypical and isn't reflective of friendzoning as it occurs to most people. I don't think the OP intended this thread to be focused on "Nice Guys" who feel like they're entitled to affection, and in any case, I don't think we should unnecessarily limit this discussion to what in the big picture is a fringe case. |
Quote:
Quote:
This post does come across as something like a slightly outré rendition of 'Use Somebody' (because we need some more of those? Well, apparently), so props. Which is really something that PC needs more of. 'I've been roaming around always looking down at all I see, / Painted Mayers fill a Taillow but can't evolve, / You know that...'? Quote:
Quote:
* OK? Quote:
Quote:
I mean, I guess you could take these things up with the Catholics, but I hear May had a Skitty, so they're probably busy venerating some dead saint. Perhaps you meant sexual history, though? It's hard to find a consensus in such spheres, though, anyway, as much as it seems mostly like calling someone's analysis of a piece 'wrong' because some academic said so, while that would usually be in its favour. That said, as much as I may be 'backwards-thinking,' which I get a lot but is expected of me, and 'sexist,' which I also don't mind in itself, I only acknowledge myself to be 'wrong' sexually. Otherwise I wouldn't be disagreeing. You might get the thing where insults from others can be taken as compliments, however. Anyway, it's good that you're disturbed by something vaguely perceived in a certain section of words, this must be how Gastly feels when people enter the Tower. In matters of the heart Taillow is broken. Quote:
Quote:
Situation situation situation situation. |
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:07 PM. |
![]()
© 2002 - 2018 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2016 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.
Acknowledgements
Use of PokéCommunity Assets
vB Optimise by DragonByte Technologies Ltd © 2023.