Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts do 😊
Squirtlenator
February 22nd, 2021 3:32 PM
If you replace the 'W' with 'T' in When, Where, and What you get the answer for each question
RadEmpoleon
February 22nd, 2021 5:56 PM
Hot Belgian waffles! ... Wait, I'm alone, I can swear for real! SON OF A--
Squirtlenator
February 22nd, 2021 6:07 PM
Fire trucks are actually water trucks!
Roni
February 22nd, 2021 8:32 PM
to non Pokemon fans, from this website's name they might think we just love jabbing people with our fingers
Squirtlenator
February 23rd, 2021 9:00 AM
Refrigerators in Antarctica keep food warm? 🤔
RadEmpoleon
February 23rd, 2021 10:18 AM
There's actually a small town in Florida called Yeehaw Junction
Squirtlenator
February 23rd, 2021 11:56 AM
Did we invent or discover math? 🤔
Roni
February 24th, 2021 5:28 AM
the word "misread" can be misread as "misread".
RadEmpoleon
February 24th, 2021 5:33 AM
*pulls up to McDonalds drive thru window* Hello yes I'd like to order a McFrickin McChicken
Roni
February 24th, 2021 6:14 AM
like most people my age, i'm 22.
RadEmpoleon
February 24th, 2021 6:58 AM
Platypuses and echidnas are the only animals that can lay eggs and give milk, which makes them good sources of omelettes.
Roni
February 24th, 2021 7:08 AM
ok, just so everybody's clear, i'm putting on my glasses.
Squirtlenator
February 24th, 2021 7:46 AM
why are they called apartments if they're built together? 🤔
Roni
February 24th, 2021 7:53 AM
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
Squirtlenator
February 24th, 2021 7:56 AM
have I ever bought milk from the same cow?🤔
Roni
February 24th, 2021 8:00 AM
my fake plant died ever since i stopped pretending to water it...
Squirtlenator
February 24th, 2021 8:05 AM
who was the weird man/woman to discover milk?🤔
Roni
February 24th, 2021 8:18 AM
the first person to discover sleep must've been like
....................
"yO what the heck just happened-"
Squirtlenator
February 24th, 2021 8:40 AM
I wonder if I've eaten an egg from a chicken that I've eaten
Roni
February 25th, 2021 12:35 AM
my wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list,
but now i can't see anything on it.
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 8:04 AM
If two vegans are fighting is it considered beef?🤔
Starlight
February 25th, 2021 8:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roni
(Post 10293733)
my wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list,
Tell her I'm not for sale 😋
Is a bear with no teeth a gummy bear?
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 8:18 AM
If you didn't find one sock, you would never know you lost one
Tsutarja
February 25th, 2021 8:48 AM
Well that socks
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 9:07 AM
Is cereal soup? 🤔
Tsutarja
February 25th, 2021 9:07 AM
yes but it can't be bought at the soup store sorry
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 9:22 AM
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Tsutarja
February 25th, 2021 9:22 AM
I hate carbs, I really do
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 9:23 AM
Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
Tsutarja
February 25th, 2021 9:33 AM
Alcohol is something for tonight
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 9:36 AM
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Starlight
February 25th, 2021 12:09 PM
The difference between a hippo and a zippo, is that one of them is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Squirtlenator
February 25th, 2021 3:28 PM
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
Roni
February 25th, 2021 11:12 PM
“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.
Squirtlenator
February 26th, 2021 8:38 AM
If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...
Starlight
February 26th, 2021 6:06 PM
If money can’t buy happiness, what the heck is a Happy Meal? 🤔
Squirtlenator
February 26th, 2021 6:09 PM
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
Roni
February 26th, 2021 7:00 PM
if money is the root of all evil, why do churches ask for it?
Squirtlenator
February 26th, 2021 7:01 PM
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Starlight
February 27th, 2021 12:32 PM
Dancing Queen... Feel the beat from the tangerine
Squirtlenator
February 27th, 2021 12:33 PM
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
Starlight
February 27th, 2021 5:55 PM
I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want...
Squirtlenator
February 27th, 2021 5:59 PM
Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk.
Arcaneum
February 27th, 2021 7:06 PM
Instead of one step forward two steps back... how about just going one step to the left?
Squirtlenator
February 27th, 2021 7:23 PM
If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
Roni
February 28th, 2021 9:09 PM
"whenever you fall, i'll catch you~" - Floor
Squirtlenator
February 28th, 2021 9:10 PM
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Roni
February 28th, 2021 9:31 PM
actually i think it's when you're taking up mime classes
Squirtlenator
March 1st, 2021 10:09 AM
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Starlight
March 1st, 2021 4:03 PM
The security guard you think is watching those people tiptoeing around that shoe shop is just looking at sneakers
Squirtlenator
March 1st, 2021 4:05 PM
My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry...
Roni
March 1st, 2021 11:36 PM
the thief who stole my iPhone could face time.
Squirtlenator
March 2nd, 2021 8:29 AM
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
Roni
March 2nd, 2021 8:56 PM
i'm actually out of oneliners for now. will have to restock soon.
Starlight
March 2nd, 2021 9:35 PM
What has four wheels and flies?
Spoiler:
A garbage truck ;)
Roni
March 2nd, 2021 10:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash Ketchup
(Post 10301014)
What has four wheels and flies?
Spoiler:
A garbage truck ;)
more like my shopping cart on Black Friday
Squirtlenator
March 3rd, 2021 5:25 PM
I'm not clumsy, The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way.
Roni
March 3rd, 2021 6:57 PM
Clinton in 2016: Pokemon GO to the polls
Clinton in 2021 probably: who Among Us is going to vote?
Squirtlenator
March 3rd, 2021 7:17 PM
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
ninestarryskies
March 3rd, 2021 7:46 PM
I'm here to kick gum and chew butt, and I'm all outta gum!
Roni
March 4th, 2021 12:49 AM
you know what they say. at the end of the day,
it gets dark
ZeoStar
March 4th, 2021 2:55 AM
the moon is just a figment of the imagination
Roni
March 4th, 2021 3:32 AM
say, you're not a moon truther are you?
RadEmpoleon
March 4th, 2021 5:27 AM
.
Spoiler:
Are you sure?
Spoiler:
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game, and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Ooh (Give you up)
Ooh-ooh (Give you up)
Ooh-ooh
Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up)
Ooh-ooh
Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up)
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game, and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Roni
March 4th, 2021 5:41 AM
imagine getting Rickrolled via a text post
Squirtlenator
March 4th, 2021 7:08 AM
The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
Roni
March 4th, 2021 7:21 AM
you're saying a storm blew away 25% of your roof?
oof
Squirtlenator
March 4th, 2021 7:32 AM
I'm jealous of my parents, I'll never have a kid as cool as them.
Starlight
March 5th, 2021 6:45 PM
I got rid of my vacuum cleaner... it was just collecting dust
Squirtlenator
March 6th, 2021 6:47 AM
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
Roni
March 7th, 2021 12:54 AM
roses are red,
violets are blue,
why on Earth
would violets ever be blue
Figure
March 7th, 2021 12:58 AM
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? -Ad lib gagging sound-
Squirtlenator
March 7th, 2021 7:26 AM
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
RadEmpoleon
March 7th, 2021 12:08 PM
Why is it spelled camouflage and not ?
Squirtlenator
March 7th, 2021 3:34 PM
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
Roni
March 8th, 2021 12:53 AM
I didn't even pay to exist and I still want a refund
Squirtlenator
March 8th, 2021 7:38 AM
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. 🍪
RadEmpoleon
March 8th, 2021 4:26 PM
There are so many cheesy puns in this thread. It's a good thing we didn't write any of these on paper, because that would be tearable.
Roni
March 9th, 2021 1:33 AM
that pun just made me crumple over
RadEmpoleon
March 9th, 2021 4:43 AM
True story: I lost one shoe on a bus, but I still have the other one. It's all right, I must have left the other one on the bus.
Squirtlenator
March 9th, 2021 7:24 AM
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Roni
March 10th, 2021 2:28 AM
you have a 2 out of 7 chance of dying on a weekend
Megan
March 10th, 2021 4:40 AM
Escalators are basically just haunted stairs.
Roni
March 10th, 2021 5:35 AM
falsetto is just boneless singing
Squirtlenator
March 10th, 2021 8:30 AM
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Roni
March 10th, 2021 6:00 PM
every cigarette you smoke takes 7 minutes off your student loan debt
Squirtlenator
March 11th, 2021 7:19 AM
If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it.
Megan
March 12th, 2021 9:28 AM
At the end of the day the sun is still yellow.
Squirtlenator
March 12th, 2021 9:32 AM
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
Roni
March 15th, 2021 4:02 AM
if Dr. Pepper were a real doctor, he'd be a fizzician.
thank you thank you i take cheques
Squirtlenator
March 15th, 2021 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roni
(Post 10312903)
if Dr. Pepper were a real doctor, he'd be a fizzician.
thank you thank you i take cheques
I swear this forum needs two like buttons or something. Solid 👏
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Starlight
March 16th, 2021 12:11 AM
I don't know why, but I just find mountains hill-arious...
Squirtlenator
March 16th, 2021 6:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash Ketchup
(Post 10313764)
I don't know why, but I just find mountains hill-arious...
again, where is the second like button!
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Roni
March 16th, 2021 6:40 AM
Why do "I'm up for it" and "I'm down for it" both mean the same thing?
Squirtlenator
March 16th, 2021 6:42 AM
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Roni
March 16th, 2021 6:45 AM
the guy who came up with Walkie-Talkie should've been in charge of naming more stuff.
Squirtlenator
March 16th, 2021 6:46 AM
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
Starlight
March 16th, 2021 11:04 AM
Do golfers wear two pairs of pants in case they get a hole in one? 🤔
Squirtlenator
March 16th, 2021 11:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash Ketchup
(Post 10314554)
Do golfers wear two pairs of pants in case they get a hole in one? 🤔
dammit, where's that second like button. 👏
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.