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Is cereal soup? 🤔
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yes but it can't be bought at the soup store sorry
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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
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I hate carbs, I really do
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Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
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Alcohol is something for tonight
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I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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The difference between a hippo and a zippo, is that one of them is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
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Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
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“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.
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If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...
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If money can’t buy happiness, what the heck is a Happy Meal? 🤔
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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
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if money is the root of all evil, why do churches ask for it?
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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Dancing Queen... Feel the beat from the tangerine
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Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
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I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want...
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk.
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Instead of one step forward two steps back... how about just going one step to the left?
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If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
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"whenever you fall, i'll catch you~" - Floor
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I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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actually i think it's when you're taking up mime classes
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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
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