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Bay September 20th, 2016 9:19 PM

I want to first apologize for mistaking Houndoom there. I went ahead and edited my reply there.

Concerning static, I thought you're probably doing that. Usually with skips I see other uses likes the asterisks (***), an underline, or some sort of other line breaker. Once more, I apologize if I went too hard on you there. I pointed out scenes I feel didn't work and how to improve on those.

Razgrey September 21st, 2016 11:54 AM

Victoria and her two guards, a Usaring and a Beartic... Marched down a hallway. It was calm, calm, too calm, was it not?
No matter.

She stopped next to a door. "Wait here, both of you."
The bears silently took positions on both sides of the door.

Victoria opened the door and entered the room, locking it as it closed.
I really should've gotten a smaller desk.

The desk was about 4 times as big as her, and the chair was only a little less than that. She hopped up and grabbed the edge of the chair, scuttling up onto it.

Then she climbed up to the desc and powered on the PC on it.
It turned on instantly.

She shoved the mouse around and opened a website, strangely titled: 'Pub297'.
It was supposed to be a simple chatroom. It wasn't popular, though.

She logged on.
Username: Red
Password: ••••••••••••


The chatroom that she entered labeled 'Strict Secrecy Enable' had one other person using it. Blue.

There is a new influx of strange shadowy pokemon coming into the regions. Do you somehow have anything to do with that?
Absolutely not. Why would you think about such silly things?
Because one of them traced me.
The shadow pokemon are being used to debilitate the police force, and you think I did any of this?
I got my eye on you, blue.
Of course you do.
Goodbye, then.
Ah ah, you forgot to say the magic phrase.
We never had this conversation.
Blue has left the chatroom.
Red has left the chatroom.


Victoria sighed. Admins of the chatroom. How special.
If the third admin was here.
She looked at the third administrator name: Green.

Razgrey September 22nd, 2016 4:31 PM

AN: I didn’t mention it earlier… Raymond and Charlie are now in Ever Grande City.
Part 9: Cursed Agent
Hide in the shadows… that was how the ghost lurked, to put fear into your enemies!
But how could you make your enemies fear you, when you are the one feeling fear? Charlie thought a little as she ran through the hallways of the station.

Two more lifeforms are detected, besides Ray and that mutt! One big one small, they’re shadow pokemon, too, aren’t they? There was a light running sound nearby.
Then the sound of someone shivering.

Charlie made her best effort to stay away from the sound. Nobody could be trusted in a dim environment. She turned and walked away, keeping her attention focused on the sound.

Why do I feel scared now? I’ve died once… fearless… reckless! I wish I never did what I did in the past, this makes me feel pressured. Too much. The shivering stopped, as the pokemon crawled through the darkness, trying not to be seen.

“C… come out, stop hiding!” Charlie said as best as she could.

The other pokemon didn’t respond, but started shivering slightly again.

(“Shadow Pokemon are powerful pokemon, but it comes at an important cost to them. Their hearts are tightly closed. They feel no sense of joy or sadness. They’re nothing but wretched drones now.”)

Who was it that told me that? Who exactly told me about them? Whatever.

“I guess you can’t learn some manners.” a confident, cocky voice echoed through the station. “Introduce yourself instead of hiding in the shadows. I can see you just fine.”

“Who’s there!?” Charlie said.

No response from what seemed to be the second person.

The smaller shadow moved. “Yaaaaah!!!” A sneasel jumped out from behind a table and ran at Charlie, preparing to claw her.

Charlie reacted by jumping through the floor, then reemerging several feet later.

The sneasel was just some kid, probably no older than 11 years. She trembled, looking at Charlie, then ran at her again.

A talon emerged from from the shadows and grabbed the sneasel kid by her arm, then swiftly threw her onto the floor.

The bird’s talon clamped onto the sneasel’s back, preparing to harshly rake her.

“Nooooo! Stopstopstop no no please!” the sneasel kid screamed and cried a little.

The bird picked up the sneasel with his talon, then hopped forward, revealing his face. He was a swellow with a fedora. “Good day.”

Charlie was a little surprised at the sudden spontaneousness of the situation. “What… who are you?”

The swellow shook his fedora a bit, then leaned his head into a wall a bit to fix its position. “My name is Mobius, and… someone told me to find you here. He said he needed your help?”

“Lemme go, lemme go!” The sneasel said.

“What about my friend?” Charlie asked.

Mobius twisted his neck a little in reluctant consideration. “I’ll uhh… come back for him.”

Charlie shook her head. “No! Just go help him right now!”

“I can’t restrain this crook and help your friend at the same time though.”

Charlie stepped forward. “Okay then.” She pulled a pair of ‘one-size-fits-all’ handcuffs and cuffed the sneasel kid to a nearby desk.

Without any further words, Mobius flew off in the direction of the sounds and fire.

There was just the sounds of fire. No fighting now. Mobius saw the houndoom, catching his breath. “I’ve seen your type before. Mainly, because you use that HORRID COLOR PURPLE!” Mobius dived for the houndoom.

The houndoom was too weak from combat to dodge, he took the full force of the attack, getting knocked down. “Argh…!”

A starmie appeared next to the houndoom in a burst of light. “Hehehe. We’ve already captured that burnt pooch. You’re too late!” He teleported both himself and the houndoom out of the station.

...but it was still raining lights outside.

Mobius growled, then ran back to where Charlie was. “Your friend was captured by the shadow pokemon.”

“How do you know about the shadow pokemon?” Charlie asked.

“Firsthand experience. Now come with me, it’s still raining lights outside. I’ll fly us outta here.”

Somewhat of a delay, but Charlie eventually uncuffed the sneasel kid, then hopped on Mobius.

“You’re coming with me, too!” Mobius picked up the sneasel and walked to a nearby window.

The sneasel kid started to flail around. “No! Let me go! I… i’m afraid of heights!”

He stepped back a little. Then rushed through the window, shattering it. And he soared through the flashing lights.

They might’ve stung a little, but soon Mobius had seemed to develop a gravitational field that was deflecting all the lights.
Mobius leaned his head down a little to check the kid.

She was covering her eyes, and was trying to curl up, probably crying like a baby too. They really were scared of heights.

Soon they burst through the rain of lights. Charlie looked back at the police station. The flashing lights raining down upon it weren’t so sinister looking anymore. In the sky, Ever Grande city looked dazzling at dusk. What nasty plot had this Mobius character planned for them, now?

He landed on the roof of a tall building. He lightly dropped the sneasel on the ground, who was either sleeping or fainted… which were both probably the same thing. He had Charlie handcuff the kid to a nearby antenna.

Charlie hopped off Mobius’ back and looked at him suspiciously. “Okay, I would like some answers. Who are you exactly and what do you want?”

Mobius sat down, leaning against one of the short barriers on the roof. “You want to know what I want? To go back to Kalos and play a nice game of Poker. But my boss says that I have to investigate the shadow pokemon too.”

“How did you find me?” Charlie asked.

“Quintangulation.”

Quintangulation? “What?”

Mobius shrugged. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand. My friend called his method that.”

Charlie relaxed a little. “Okay… who’s your friend?”

“You’ll see. Now stop asking questions, I really would like to sleep.” Mobius took his fedora and put it on his face.

Ugggh… How am I supposed to find Raymond? I have so much more questions to ask… but I guess i’ll just… sleep. Charlie closed her eyes.

And opened them in a new place. It was some tall mountain. That looks familiar. She floated up, finding the top of the mountain.

That’s the sound of someone humming. That sounds familiar too. And then, she saw some Purrloin climb up to the top of the mountain. Then laid down and took a breath. “Phew… that was hard.”

The Purrloin stood up after a few minutes and looked down at the bright cities in the distance. “Look out, world! I’m going to conquer you now! I’m going to conquer everything!” She turned around and walked into a cave, which Charlie didn’t notice earlier.

“Hey, who’re you?” A Darkrai wearing a tie came out into view. “You’re not supposed to be up here!”

“Look out, Darkrai!” The Purrloin said. “I’m going to defeat you and then take over the world with your powers!”

Darkrai shook his head. “No. I have to play a 50 out of 99 Chess match with Cresselia in 16 minutes.”

“I am going to take over the world!” The Purrloin scratched Darkrai.

Darkrai sighed, then grabbed the Purrloin and put her outside. “The world can never be conquered. The sooner you realize that, the better.” He floated back inside.

The Purrloin dusted herself off and turned to look at the city.
I know what you’re going to say next. You’re going to laugh, evilly.
Thunder effect.
“NYEH! Heheheheheheheheheh! Soon…”

The storm drew ever so closer, and soon it was right above Darkrai’s ‘castle’.
“Nyeheheheheheheheh!” A lightning bolt struck nearby.

And soon, one of them struck Charlie. That’s… that’s me!

The purrloin dropped to her knees, and fell off the mountain. But a pitch black hand grabbed her foot, and pulled her up back onto the mountain.

A minute of silence passed. The Darkrai knew that the cat was gone. “...I am sorry.”

Charlie gasped. The stormy peak was now replaced with the lights of Ever Grande city. She looked around. The sneasel kid somehow obtained a cushion and was still sleeping.

I died as a Purrloin. That explained my cat ears. When I died… a burning vengeance consumed my soul, and I possessed something so that I could keep living…

Charlie looked around for Mobius.
Mobius was talking to an Anorith a distance from Charlie, in the darkness. “Do you honestly think your plan is going to work?”

“Grey, when have you ever doubted me?”

“About all the time. From the time you were reborn from the fossil, until now. Your plans never seem to work. That idiot cat has been taken by Cipher and you think you spastic plans will save him?”

“Come on. I am Level 100 now. I know 19 moves. What more could you want?”

“The last time I knew you in Hoenn, you were Level 92, knowing 18 moves. That’s not much of a difference. Also that’s irrelevant.”

“Pffft. Grey, you always have to be like this, do you? Just go through this plan. It’s worth a shot.”

“Fine. But only because you can use your 19 moves to get us out of a pinch.”

“Oh, and one more thing. Five sableyes are coming. If they try ‘that’, then you’ll have to…” the Anorith whispered something into Mobius’ ear.

Mobius readjusted his hat. “Alright.”

“Hey…” Charlie said, getting their attention. “Who’re you?”

“Makan… the Anorith.” the Anorith said nonchalantly.

Charlie twisted her neck a little bit. “What was that plan you were talking about? And why was Makan calling you ‘Grey’?”

Mobius grinned. “I won’t be answering the latter. But as for the plan… well, you’ll see.”

Bay September 22nd, 2016 10:06 PM

The last two parts I feel are much better even though the comedy is light this time around. The scene with Victoria I think it's a nice cliffhanger over the "green" administrator and makes we wonder what's going on.

Charlie a Purrlion from another life I got taken aback there. Even though it's meant for comedic effect, trying to go against Darkrai, huh? I most likely missed some clues here, but I'm interested Darkrai's role there if they do have one (their design does kinda look like a suit now I think about it, heh).

Seems like it's been a while since the Meowstic siblings appeared, but with Moibus and Makan's appreance there I'm assuming they'll come back soon.

Razgrey September 23rd, 2016 5:41 AM

Hoenn Recording 3
Salamence: Alright, a zigzagoon literally challenged us to a One on One match yesterday, well… he challenged Slade to one, anyway.
That Zigzagoon was really powerful, but he was still no match for Slade. He used Flash, which blinded Chucky and the Zigzagoon.

Aggron: Turn the lights off!!! Help!!!

Linoone: Charles, just close your eyes for a few minutes, it’ll be fine.

Salamence: We’re like… Level 78. Well I am, anyway.

Aggron: Hey Frost is that you!?

Salamence: Frost is out buying groceries. And how are you still blinded?

Linoone: Hey, Charles!

Aggron: Whaaaaat?

Linoone: Your… your eyes are closed, you know?

Aggron: What? Oh? I can see! I’ve been cured of my blindness, guys!

Salamence: Do I have to babysit you, everyday?

Aggron: I’m not a baby, guys.

Razgrey September 27th, 2016 3:29 PM

AN: I wish someone other than Alex Bayson would write posts commenting about my fiction. I feel like I have an empty audience, despite having 500 something views.
Part 10: Undying
Forest of Makan, Dusk

(My brother hasn’t been around lately. He hasn’t been responding to my telepathic communications, either. I asked Makan about it, but he refuses to tell me about anything. Did something happen to him?)

Whisper was cooking more pancakes. Unlike Jasper she could cook food better than he could. Because girls could cook better? Oh the things that she’d do when people would say that.

*knock knock* Whisper froze the pancake in time, and then walked to the door and opened it.

Jade was standing on the porch a little nervously. “H-hey, Whisper. How’s your day?”

Whisper scratched her ear for a bit. “There was no day. I just slept and i’m about to eat breakfast. That probably applies to you too.”

“Right…” Jade said. “Anyways, have you seen Mobius around?”

Whisper shook her head. “Nope. I haven’t seen Jasper either.” She went back to cooking her pancake.

Jade fixed her hat. “Can’t you talk to him with… your telepathy or something?”

“Nope. He’s inactive.”

“Oh. Can’t you… travel through your pocket dimension?”

“You’d expect that, wouldn’t you?” Whisper flipped the pancake onto a plate, using her telekinesis to make it land correctly. “While he can intrude on other people’s privacy, i’m just better at teleportation. I can teleport further than he can, and I have better reflex when it comes to that.”

Jade sat on the only couch on the house, and started lighting a cigarette. “So what are we supposed to do, then?”

Whisper thought for a second, pouring some slightly different maple syrup on her pancake. “Let me borrow your phone, I can give him a ring.”

Jade handed Whisper her cell phone and she punched in Jasper’s phone number.

*ring! ring* The meowstic scrounged through her pockets and found Jasper’s cell phone. “Oh right… I took his cell phone when he was asleep.” She gave Jade her phone back and just relaxed on the couch, eating her pancake.

“Mobius turned his phone off, so I can’t find him either.” Jade crammed her phone into her feather coat.

Whisper didn’t seem to care, she just ate her pancake. There was a delay on the chatter, since Whisper took several seconds to swallow her food. “What a shame. By the way, the casino is going to open on 27 minutes.”

“The casino is still closed.”

“Why? That sableye attack was only about 2 days ago.”

“I don’t know. Maybe because all the clients can’t play Poker and Blackjack when about half the tables are broken!”

Whisper finished her pancake, and used her telekinesis to drop the plate into a sink. “Ugggh. What am I supposed to do today, then?”

“Let’s… just go out for a walk, or rather, a flight. I haven’t flew around for a length longer than 2 minutes for a long while.”

Whisper shrugged and followed Jade outside. She hopped on the honchkrow’s back and harshly clung on. “Don’t drop me.”

“What’s the matter, you afraid of heights?” Jade said, laughing a little.

“I’m not very comfortable flying around hundreds of feet above the ground.”

………

(Your plans never seem to work. That idiot cat has been taken by Cipher and you think your spastic plans will save him?)

Ugh… damnit. Where am I? Where are those clowns?

Jasper seemed to be lost somewhere, he couldn’t move his body.

I was just buying flowers. After talking to that weird blue lion thing with the ribbons. Why can’t I move?

Jasper opened his eyes. He was strapped to a wall, his ears seemed to be duct taped, there were wires attached to his head. He saw some random Staryu typing in commands into a console. “H… hey…?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” The Staryu said in some slightly distorted voice. “Had a great sleep, didn’t you?”

Jasper was really drowsy. “Wh… who?”

The Staryu went back to typing in commands. “Yeah. They always ask that. And I got only one answer. We’re going to turn you into a shadow pokemon.”

“Nooo…!” Jasper started to struggle against his restraints.

The Staryu would’ve laughed if he could. “There’s nothing you can do. Accept your fate, fool. Soon we’ll have every Pokemon as a shadow pokemon.”

Jasper panted a bit and stopped struggling. “Haaa… hahaha…” He smiled a bit for some odd reason, then looked at the scientist. “Why aren’t you a shadow pokemon?”

No answer. Staryu finished inputting commands. “This might hurt a lot, but that’ll be irrelevant within a minute.” He pressed a big red button on the console.

Jasper received a jolt in his head. He felt a little angry.

“Excellent,” Staryu said. “This’ll go smoothly.” He turned up a dial and held down the big red button.

More jolts. More pain.
Damnit you stupid star, i’m gonna kill you! UGH! Hurts… too… much!
The longer he felt the electricity the more pain he felt. The more he wanted to hurt someone.
Whisper, you incompetent sibling, I’m… going… to… stop… stop…

It stopped. Jasper’s eyes were closed, he was tearing up a little.

“Alright. Answer these questions. Do you have any friends?” Tekot said.

“No.”

“Good. Is there anyone that you care about?”

“No.”

“Yes, perfect. Final question. Are you willing to do anything; and everything, that we ask of you?”

“Y… No! No! No! Stop it!”

Staryu activated the button one more time.

“Nnnngh. No…! You… I-” Jasper lost all will to resist. Stop it… stop it… The pain…
He closed his eyes… and didn’t open them again.

”When he wakes up, make sure to send him to the interrogation room.”

Jasper woke up. He was in some sort of cell. Clowns, clowns, where are those clowns!? I’ll kill them, I’ll… kill….
He collapsed.

”Make him stand up, he’s awake.”

The cell door opened. His limp body was dragged out of the cell.

”Take this one to the interrogation room. He knows too much.”

He was dragged around several corridors and hallways, doors were opened… And Jasper was plopped onto a chair.

The weak, shadow meowstic slowly opened his eyes.

There was a Starmie sitting across a table with a notebook. “You will answer any question that I will give you truthfully, correct?”

“Yes.”

The Starmie(which will be referred to as ‘Tekot’) started. “What is your name?”

“Jasper Stick.”

“Are you willing… to do anything, and everything that we ask of you?”

“Yes.”
Jasper, you are so lazy, Wake up!

“If you are captured by the authorities, then what are you supposed to do?”
F… forget it. Let’s just get this over with.

“Poison… myself.”
Well aren’t you such a dear!

“Last of all, why do you obey us?”
The frying pan is on fire.

“Because… because… I…”
The look on your face when you come back home is going to be…

“ANSWER!”
I can’t lose to you. Because i’ve never lost to you!

“You’re a filthy...!” Jasper stood up of his own accord and tried attacking Tekot, but his mind was clouded by shadow influence once again.

Tekot wrote some notes down. “This is a tricky one. Maybe I should save the effort and kill him instead.”

Jasper resisted again. And he unfolded his ears. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!” He unleashed a blast of mixed psychic and shadow energy.

………

“What was that?” Whisper noticed a disturbance somewhere, along with some sound.

Jade slowed down her flight a bit. “What do you mean? I don’t hear anything but the wind.”

Whisper pointed in a seemingly random direction. “That way. In that forest.”

Jade flew in closer, keeping an eye on the wild pokemon, the ones which didn’t conform to city life which was completely fine. “Whisper, I don’t see anything.”

“Right there. Something is different about that spot.” Whisper pointed at a slightly suspicious patch of greenery.

“Alright then.” Jade slowly landed, and just noticed the dull building in front of her. “Woah. What is that.”

Whisper scratched her ear a bit. “There was some sort of extreme psychic disturbance here. Maybe it belongs to those shadow pokemon. But to find out we have to get in somehow.”

Jade’s eyes lit up. “Ooh, I got an illegal keycard scrambler on me!”

“...how?”

Jade walked up to the door(which could barely be differentiated from the wall) and pulled out a keycard, swiping it through the door’s scanner. “I just do.” It didn’t work.

Whisper shook her head slightly. “No, where did you get that?”

“Black market. You never know, huh?” Jade swiped the card some more until the door actually opened.

“You’re so unladylike.”

Jade gave a charismatic wink and walked through the doorway, stepping on some Starmie on the ground. “Woah- oh.”

“Ugggh… ha… ha.” the Starmie mumbled. His len was cracked. “You’re just in time… for the party.” He seemed to have blood on his limbs, despite being some sea star thing.

“What’re you talking about?” Whisper demanded.

The Starmie spoke in a raspy, debilitated voice, which gradually was becoming worse. “One of the shadow pokemon… *urk* ...is enraged. He’ll destroy… e-everything.”

Jade observed the corridor. Some of the lights were broken, and there were alarms blaring, with automatic voices on the loudspeaker ordering all available units to capture the rogue pokemon. There was likely to be no response.
And one Houndoom’s body on the floor, beaten to death and bloody.

The Starmie laughed hysterically. “Aha… this is just… the tip… of the ice… berg. Uuuh…” The light on his face dimmed.

Bay September 28th, 2016 4:07 PM

Okay, so I got mixed feelings over your comment on wanting readers. (spoilers because it's long).

Spoiler:
On the one hand, I totally know that feeling of how your work isn't appreciated and on numerous occasions I would post something on another site and get no feedback. Heck, there are lots of fic here with very little feedback. On the other hand, I'm kinda hurt over that comment as if you didn't appreciate my feedback. And with the way you behaved over some of my replies, some folks are probably afraid of giving you feedback if it's not filled with glowing praise. Me, even if just one person constantly replied I would be very delighted.

I'm sorry if I'm picky with some of the author's notes, but to be honest that self loathing won't get you any readers. I've stuck though your story so far because I think it's interesting and some of the comedic elements are decent. I shoud proably used better tact, but I would appreciate if you be more open minded to some of the advice I've been giving you because I took some time to help you when I could've have done something else or follow another story.

(Also you probably Put Alex Bayson as a joke and I acutally had someone else put my name like that in their story, but please Bay is just fine).


Okay, now some feedback on the latest chapter.

Quote:

Jasper opened his eyes. He was strapped to a wall, his ears seemed to be duct taped, there were wires attached to his head. He saw some random Staryu typing in commands into a console. “H… hey…?”
Part of me wonders how a Staryu can type if they don't have fingers. Perhaps they can, but real slow, heh.

Quote:

Jasper received a jolt in his head. He felt a little angry.
Since this is one of your more serious scenes, I think you could have shown how Jasper is angry instead of stating out outright. He probably growled and/or glared at Staryu for instance.

Well, this took on a much different turn than last chapter, especially with Jasper's thoughts and the interrogation. I did chuckle though at the part where Jade mentioned getting the keycard scrambler from the black market. Looking forward to what happnens next.

Razgrey September 28th, 2016 5:21 PM

Honestly, writing 'Alex Bayson' was a complete accident.

Razgrey September 29th, 2016 6:04 PM

Part 11: Next Track (Part I)
Lumiose City PokeCenter
2 Hour Ago...

Xian sat on a guest chair, sleeping. Yesterday he had to get Erin out of that fire. He remembered it like it was just a few minutes ago.
Lionel was attacked by a shadow Manectric this morning. The chief dealt with it just fine, but the Manectric managed to escape.
Raymond and Charlie are at Sinnoh, haven’t they? They’ve probably been there for several hours and Raymond still won’t answer his phone. Prick.
Sleeping in a hospital bed. (In what she calls her ‘Calm Forme’, where she has hands and her red and blue flowers are moved to the back of her cape.)

Erin was still in a coma. Sleeping, lost, but safe.
Don’t ever leave me alone again. Please.

Xian woke up slightly. Can’t sleep ever. Not without sleep medicine. His hand fumbled around, grabbing a cup of coffee. He drank some of it. Tasted more like chocolate than actual coffee, but whatever.

“Mmmh…” Erin stirred a bit.

Xian hardly reacted. He just kept drinking his coffee.

The roserade went back to sleep. Xian wanted to keep it that way. It was fine by him. Safer. Safe.
He stopped drinking his coffee, and walked to the door.

He’d just barely touched the handle. "Xi...an.”

Xian slowly put his hand down, and turned his head. “Erin?”

Erin kept her eyes closed, but she held up her right hand a bit.
Xian turned around and calmly walked over to her side, holding her hand. “Are you okay?”

”Any… thing… but.”

Xian smiled lightly. “I almost missed you.”

”Don’t. Say that.”

The pancham sighed. “Why won’t you look at me?”

Erin smiled, with some slight strain. ”I don’t want to, not until I can hug you, cry in your arms, ha… ha…”
She gave a faint cough.

“I’ll be waiting, then.” Xian let go of Erin’s hand and turned to leave.

“Xian?”

“Yes?”

Erin turned away from him, and opened her eyes a faint bit. “Can… you find my keys…?”

Xian rolled his eyes. “Maybe. Where are they?”

“Flower stall.” Erin shed a single tear from one thought.

“Right.” Xian opened the door. “Sleep tight, Erin.” He went.

Past an uninviting section of guests, into a lobby. Which didn’t smell that much better.
Outside into the cold night. Almost. The sky was still losing it’s color.

He walked. He knew important places by heart. Heart… Clueless shadow pokemon. Xian dialed up Reed’s number.

“Hello?”

There was some smoke rising from the charred house. “Did you find the Yanma?”

“Err… yeah, we did. He was dead, burnt to a crisp.”

The house was nothing more than a pile of darkened planks. “Damnit.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

Some soot and ashes covered Erin’s flower stall. “That was a shadow pokemon. If he wasn’t flying then I could’ve captured him.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure you’ll get another chance.”

Xian opened a secret compartment in the flower stall, and pulled out a ring of keys.
I’m missing something, aren’t I?

(“Her name is Mia. My mother said that she’s a long distance relative, apparently. I have to take care of her for some reason.”)

That little bird, wasn’t it? Where is it…

Xian looked around the stall, near the broken house, but he couldn’t find any trace of the bird.

Still carrying Erin’s phone, too. Dangit.

Xian sat down on a chair near the cash register(also in the secret compartment) and sighed. Can’t find the baby bird.

“Looking for something, honey bunches?”

Xian turned his head. It was Victoria, without any guards this time. “Wha?” She was had ‘Mia’ perched on her fingers. “...yes.”

Victoria calmly passed Xian ‘Mia’. “Thanks for getting rid of that bug, sweetie.”
Thanks for getting rid of that bug, sweetie.

Xian scowled. “Don’t flirt with me.” He racked his brain, because he seemed to have been reminded of something. “Anyways, I got one question to ask you.”

She stayed the same silly person as before. All the time. “Yesssss?”

“Have to been referred to, as Red?”

Victoria stopped smiling. “Who gave you that name?”
Despite that, your voice is still a little annoying.

“Oh, so it’s true, isn’t it?” Xian smiled with overconfidence.

Victoria crossed her arms. “Yes, i’ve been called Red by two people. Now tell me, who gave you that name?”

Xian shrugged a little. Because he wasn’t sure that he had a correct answer. “A shrimp.”

“Of course it was. Now i’ll be taking my leave, if you don’t mind.”

“Not so fast.” Xian stepped forward. “Why is that name important?”

A few embers surrounded Victoria. “You’ll see me later, dear. You should learn how to talk to a lady.” The flames grew intense, bigger.

“I do.”

Victoria smiled one last time. The flames enveloped her, then dissipated. Leaving nothing to follow.

----------

Back to the PokeCenter.

Xian whistled, walking over to the room Erin was in. He looked through the window as some doctor-person; a Lucario was talking to Erin.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” the doctor asked.

“Three.”

“That’s incorrect, sorry. It’s five.”

“You don’t even have five fingers.”

The Lucario looked at his hand. “Whoops.” He opened the door without noticing Xian was looking through the window. “Whoops.” He rubbed his forehead a little, because he goofed his voice a bit. “Eheh, sorry.” He walked past Xian.

“Meep.” Erin noticed the spritzee’s chirp and turned to look at Xian.

“...hey.” she smiled.

Xian grinned. “I don’t you didn’t want to see me until you were out of bed.”

“Haha… shut up.”

Xian put the spritzee on the side of the bed, and put Erin’s keys on the nearby table.
“Meep.” Honestly, i’ve forgotten the name of the bird and can’t be bothered to remember it.

“Please don’t leave me again.”

Xian held Erin’s hand. “Don’t worry. I never will.”

The silence was broken. By Erin’s phone receiving a ring.
Xian pulled it out and looked at the caller’s name. “It’s for you.”

Erin grabbed it and frowned. “Mother.” Xian just sat back in one of the chairs.

The conversation was really, indecipherable. Xian couldn’t tell what Erin was talking about, but she seemed to be adding sarcastic effect into her sentences.
“Yes, mother. She’s right here.” She’d say, annoyed.
“I am fine.
“Yes, I told you. I am fine.”
“Mother, we’ve been over this.”

There were other things that she would say, but Xian paid no attention to most of them.

“Thanks, Mother.” Erin said, irritated. She handed the phone to Xian, who put it on the nearby table next to her keys.

Xian yawned. “What was that about?”

Erin gave a short sigh. “My mom asks too many questions. Half the time she asks them again just to make sure.”

Xian leaned back in his chair. Several seconds of silence passed. The panda was daydreaming. But he let that one thought go. “So! What happened in that abandoned mansion?”

Erin spoke sadly. “I felt fear for one of the first times in my life. A butterfree attacked me, tried to kill me. She thought she killed me.”

Xian didn’t dwell on it any longer. He wanted the shadow pokemon to stop plaguing their lives.

The lucario doctor opened the door to the room. “Good day. Okay, officer...s. I got some news for you.” He flipped through the pages his clipboard. “You’ll be able to leave in about… half an hour or so.”
That’ll kill us of boredom.

They waited awhile. Hospitals were boring. They killed the mood.

...sigh.

8 minutes to go.

Ring-a-ding. Xian answered his phone. “Yeah?”

“Hey, Xian? Is Erin okay?” It was Charlie.

Xian had his eyes closed while he was talking. “Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Really? That’s great! Now listen up, this is important. You’re still in Kalos, right?”

“No, i’m in the distortion world, negotiating random crap with Giratina. Yes i’m in Kalos.”

Charlie ignored the sarcasm. “There should be a forest west of Lumiose, I was told that there’s a shadow pokemon operation happening in there, so you should shut it down!”

Xian opened his eyes. “Uhh, don’t we need clearance for that?”

“I don’t care about clearance, you have to look into it!”

“Waitwait who told you about the shadow pokemon?”

There was a little bit of a delay. “An Anorith.”

“What!?” Xian got Erin’s attention.

“Uhh… is there something wrong with that?”

Xian noticed Erin looking at him funny, and lowered his voice a bit. “An Anorith earlier, told me about some Person Of Interest for some random reason.”

“It’s a teleporting Anorith.”

That sounds really, really stupid.
“Anorith can’t teleport or use any psychic powers.”

Charlie just hung up. Just flat out hung up in the middle of a conversation.

“Who was that?” Erin asked.

“Charlie. Calling about some shadow pokemon hideout.”

“Where’s Raymond?”

“I have no idea.”

The lucario doctor knocked on the door(for once) and came into the room. “Alright then, you can probably leave now. Can you stand or do you need a wheelchair?”

Erin scowled. “I’ve been able to move freely for at least ninety hours now.” She tossed the blanket off her and got up off the bed.

“Check out at the front desk.” The doctor left the room.

----------

Cold breezes went past the two. “So…” Erin started. “What’s that Shadow Pokemon place?”

“I don’t know if you should come…” Xian said.

“I’ll be fine, Xian.” She smiled and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got my knight in shining armor to protect me.”

This won’t end badly. It can’t.
“Alright then.” He directed and walked Erin to his apartment.

Why do I do this. Why do I risk my life for everything?
Very dark. The blackness blanketed everything.
Xian had a motorcycle at the apartment's parking lot. He saw it, as he walked slowly behind Erin in thought.

“Hey...” Erin said, concerned. “Why are you slowing down?”

Xian looked at Erin uncomfortably. “I have a question.”

Erin's expression darkened, as if she knew what question was coming up. “Xian…”

“Do you still love me?”
“...”
“...?”

“...yes, Schenze.”

Bay September 30th, 2016 4:37 PM

Quote:

Xian opened a secret compartment in the flower stall, and pulled out a ring of keys.
I’m missing something, aren’t I?

(“Her name is Mia. My mother said that she’s a long distance relative, apparently. I have to take care of her for some reason.”)
I wonder if this is reference in particular to a certain Pokemon from Kalos...

Quote:

“Wha?” She was had ‘Mia’ perched on her fingers. “...yes.”
I think just "had" would do fine. another way to write the bold part could be "was holding."


Quote:

She stayed the same silly person as before. All the time. “Yesssss?”

“Have to been referred to, as Red?”

Victoria stopped smiling. “Who gave you that name?”
That part and what she did at the end of that scene she certainly changed her demeanor there.

Quote:

“That’s incorrect, sorry. It’s five.”

“You don’t even have five fingers.”
Now I think about it, I don't believe I ever paid attention how many fingers/digits each of the Pokemon have. Probably impossible to know how many all of them have though.

This is more of a laid back chapter but it's fine after the past few ones went on a more different direction than it first start. Nice to see Xian's thoughts over all this and his feelings towards Erin.

Razgrey October 5th, 2016 3:07 PM

I would've posted this earlier but I felt uninclined at the time.
But anyways im just here to say that I dont like working on the fanfic during weekends and fall break.
Because I usually write up the story during school hours. When I don't have access to Bulbapedia to get my facts straight.

Razgrey October 11th, 2016 10:15 AM

Part 11.5: Next Track (Part II)
(“But i’ll never be anything more than the flower girl.”)
("Dropped off that bird at the fire station for now.")
-----
Xian was speeding through the empty streets of the night on his motorcycle, with Erin along for the ride.

No one but a few nocturnal pokemon remained out in the streets.

Outside of town, into the forest. Filled with random idiots like Bunnelby, Dedenne, and Chespins.

He drove through the forest lazily. Avoid the trees, avoid running over wild pokemon who liked living in the tall grass, and slow the hell down.

Eventually, the forest was too dense to drive through, and Xian eventually stopped. “Looks like we’re going to have to hoof it from here.”

“I don’t mind.” Erin says, she got off the motorcycle, ignoring the fact that Xian picked it up and then crammed it into his ‘inventory’.

They walked through the forest, trying their best not to step on anything suspicious.

Eventually, then found a dark grey structure of extreme suspicion, hard to see. “Wow. They even piled leaves onto the roof.” Xian said.

He walked up to the wall and put his ear to it. No sound, likely more than two inches of cement and steel. “Guess we should find the entrance.”

They found the entrance by simply walking over to the other side of the building. It was open, with the bright light of it repelling the cloaking darkness. “What is that sound?” Erin and Xian heard sounds of thrashing and other hostilities.

He looked through the doorway.
One Starmie and a Houndoom. Dead. “Ah hell.” He backed up and covered his eyes.
What… what…?

“What's in there?” Erin walked closer to the door, then instantly walked backwards after she saw enough.

...

“I'm calling Lionel for backup.” Xian dialed Lionel up.
Knowing him, he'll be useless as ever.

“Hello?”

“Captain, we need some backup. We have found a remote structure in the forests west of Lumiose.” Xian said.

“Negative, Xian. We're currently investigating another matter at the moment, call back-” Hung up.
Don't. Just don't, you moron.

Xian put his phone any. He didn't want to hear it.

Erin scratched her head. “So what's the plan now?”

“We'll have to just do this stealthily.” Xian looked through the doorway of the complex.
He looked back at Erin. “Okay, follow me.”

Erin quickly followed Xian's movements, darting through the doorway and into a nearby room. “What is that thrashing sound I keep hearing?” She whispered.

Xian shrugged. “I don't know, but we better find it before it finds us.” The officers analyzed the room they were in.
Empty power generator, complex map, maintenance tools, probably a storage room.

“Heyhey, shh shh.” Erin saw a slight shadow coming down the hallway. She pointed at the shadow for Xian.

“How did you miss this room? It was right by the entrance.”
He slowly crept towards the doorway and waited as came closer…
That's right, keep walking.

Xian quickly grabbed the owner of the shadow: a Meowstic. She started struggling frantically, psychically grabbing tools off the shelves and throwing them everywhere.

“Hey, stop that!” A honchkrow dashed into the room and slashed Xian, causing him to let go of the meowstic.

Erin slugged the honchkrow in the face with a rose, who recoiled greatly.

The meowstic psychically grabbed Erin and threw her at Xian before he had a chance to attack with a roll dive.

“Alright, alright! Stop it before I beat you two too much!” The meowstic shouted. “Now, *huff* you are going to answer my questions, got it?”
Damnit…

No response, but that meant a yes for some reason.

“Who are you and what is the purpose of this place!?”

Uhh… what?
“We're… we were… gonna ask you that same question.” Erin said softly.

The meowstic calmed down a little. “Oh really, ...why are you here?’

Xian stood up and dusted himself off. “We are police officers of Lumiose,” he showed his badge(Erin did too). “We were just investigating this complex, which might've been related to the shadow pokemon incidents.”

“I can tell you're not lying.” The meowstic straightened her tie, for whatever reason. “I'm Whisper, and this is my friend Jade. And you're names are…?”
Schenze.

“Xian.”
“Erin.”

“Okay then.” Whisper said.

Jade hadn't said anything the whole time. “Hey Whisper, we should split up.”

Whisper turned to look at Jade. “We should not- okay fine. You two, get lost or something.”

Xian thought for a few seconds. “One thing. Do you know what that ruckus is all about?”

“It must be a rampant shadow pokemon.” Jade answered. “Try not to get in it's way.”

“I guess we should be going, then?” Erin asked.

Whisper crossed her arms. “Yeah, you do that.”
You're a little short on respectfulness.

Xian walked out of the room, and turned to see another meowstic, except this one was male and looked real mad.
Oh f-

The crazed cat started sprinting towards Xian on all fours, wanting to kill.

“Xian what're you-”

“Look out!” Xian dived out of the way, and Erin stepped back into the room.

Whisper darted out of the room, and saw the meowstic. “Jasper!?”

“What?” Jade said, not equally surprised.

Xian stood up and straightened himself. “He a friend of yours?”

Jasper fiercely raked at Whisper, who reacted by jumping and walking on the ceiling. “He’s my little brother! Don't hurt him!”

Erin just ran out of the room and dashed down the hallway.

Xian ran after her. “What're we supposed to do?” He yelled.

“Figure out what to do because I have no idea!” Erin responded.
That’s not very helpful.

Xian skidded to a stop. “Hmm…”
(“Typically, the power grid of a building is located in the basement. Use that for the purpose that you require.”)

Xian darted into a random room and tried looking at the walls for a map. Instead, there was a Staryu cowering in one of the corners of the room.

“Alright you,” Xian grabbed the Staryu. “Where’s the power unit!?”

“B-b-bottom floor! Stairs are on the right!” the Staryu quickly said, trying to avoid a beating.

Xian tossed the Staryu on the floor and ran to the stairs. After some more running around aimlessly.
He heard muffled speaking above him.
“Hey, flower girl! Don’t come any closer, we can deal with this just fine!”
“Nope no you can’t he’s shooting more shadow blasts at us!”
“Jasper wake up! Jasper! Stop trying to shoot me! Stop!”
“What am I supposed to do, then?”

It was dark, for whatever reason. But Xian found the main power unit just fine.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t figure out how to deactivate it.

He dialed up Erin. “Hey, hey Erin I found a power unit. How do I shut it down?”

“I’m in a middle of something here, this kid is throwing chairs everywhere!”

Xian growled. “Erin, I need to shut the power down to stop him, how do I work this thing!?”

“Isn’t he nocturnal, though?”

There was the sound of the phone being moved. “No, he’s not nocturnal.” Whisper had the phone now. Presumably by taking it through telekinesis. “Listen, if you’re stuck, just break it!”

“Uh- break it?”

“Burn it or something! Punch it! Destroy all the wires for all I care just do something!”
That seems sensible.

Xian put the phone down and ran up to a nearby generator. He unscrewed the lid of it and crammed a random rag he found into the gas tank.
Then, he pulled out a lighter and started trying to burn the rag.
*click, click, click*
*click, click, click, click*
Come on, come on… work damnit!

An orange light formed on the rag. Xian bolted up the stairs. What he just did was really unorthodox, but he didn’t care.

…!
……!!
………!!!!!
*BOOM*

Xian was knocked down from the building shaking suddenly. The lights flickered wildly, and then died out.

The ringing wouldn’t stop. The ringing won’t stop. The ringing stop. Stop it.
The blur in Xian’s vision corrected itself. He was a little dizzy.

Focus, foxus, foxes.
Xian shook his head. He felt a little better, and walked throughout the dark hallways.

Erin was sitting against a wall, covering her ears(if she had any).

“Erin. Erin it’s me. Are you okay?” Xian tapped Erin a few times to get her attention.

“...” Erin looked at Xian as if he seriously did something wrong. “Xian, are you crazy!?”

Xian moved back a little, because he seriously did do something wrong. Then Erin hugged him.
He kept silent, looking around. Jade was unconscious, looking like she fell forward after slipping on ice.

Jasper was also unconscious. He actually looked like a normal pokemon.

Whisper stepped forward from some dust clouds. She was unharmed, with some sort of light barrier protecting her. “H-hey. Jasper, wake up.”

“Don’t.” Xian said. He stood up and put on a pair of special shades. “He’s still a shadow pokemon.”

“Give me those.” Whisper grabbed the shadow readers off of Xian’s face and wore them. She sighed and tossed the glasses on the ground.
“Alright… let’s go home.”

Bay October 12th, 2016 4:52 PM

Quote:

Eventually, then found a dark grey structure of extreme suspicion, hard to see. “Wow. They even piled leaves onto the roof.” Xian said.
"They" I think you meant there.


Quote:

He looked through the doorway.
One Starmie and a Houndoom. Dead. “Ah hell.” He backed up and covered his eyes.
Oh, things are getting interesting now.


Quote:

“Alright, alright! Stop it before I beat you two too much!” The meowstic shouted. “Now, *huff* you are going to answer my questions, got it?”
This is more a style preference of mine, but I think you could describe the huff instead of instering it like that. So probably like this:

“Alright, alright! Stop it before I beat you two too much!” The meowstic shouted. “Now..." She let out huff before continuing. "You are going to answer my questions, got it?”

Quote:

Xian tossed the Staryu on the floor and ran to the stairs. After some more running around aimlessly.
He heard muffled speaking above him.
I think this sentence would flow better written like this:

Xian tossed the Staryu on the floor and ran to the stairs. After some more running around aimlessly, he heard muffled speaking above him.

Despite the big bang at the end there, good thing no serious harm was done on everyone. I'm going to assume what happens next is getting Jasper not be a Shadow Pokemon anymore. Should be fun.

Razgrey October 14th, 2016 8:33 AM

Part 12: Epiphany
Sinnoh: Ever Grande City
(It’s me, Mobius.)
(And Makan.)
(Sure, sure, whatever. But it’s about me.)
(Eh, and Makan.)
(Sigh…)

Calling. Xian picked up. “Yeah?”

“Hey, Xian? Is Erin okay?” Charlie asked.

Xian sounded real relaxed. “Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Really? That’s great! Now listen up, this is important. You’re still in Kalos, right?”

“No, i’m in the distortion world, negotiating random crap with Giratina. Yes i’m in Kalos.”

Charlie ignored the sarcasm. “There should be a forest west of Lumiose, I was told that there’s a shadow pokemon operation happening in there, so you should shut it down!” Makan said so, and Charlie suddenly trusts everything that these guys say!

“Uhh, don’t we need clearance for that?”

“I don’t care about clearance, you have to look into it!”

“Waitwait who told you about the shadow pokemon?”

There was a little bit of a delay, this would sound pretty stupid. “An Anorith.”

“What!?” Xian said, as if that was a major breakthrough.

“Uhh… is there something wrong with that?” Charlie asked, with the thought of there being an organization full of Anorith… that was just silly.

Xian lowered his voice a bit. “An Anorith earlier, told me about some Person Of Interest for some random reason.”

“It’s a teleporting Anorith.” Charlie said, feeling even more stupid than before.

“Anorith can’t teleport or use any psychic powers.”

“Heyhey!” Mobius, who was nearby said. “Hurry up, we’re on a tight schedule.”

Charlie frowned. “Hold on, i’m gonna finish this call with…” the phone’s screen was black, out of batteries. “...nevermind.”

“My schedule’s never tight.” Makan said casually.
You don’t even have a schedule.

Mobius sighed angrily. “Just hurry up so we can get this over with.”

Sneasel was still tied to an antenna.

“Alright, why’d you attack me?” Charlie said angrily.

The kid whimpered. “Th-they told me to. They said they w-would kill me if I didn’t do what they said!”

Charlie lowered her head a bit. “Hmm… who’s they?”

“I… I don’t know! They’re just really mean!” the kid said.

“Eh, I guess you’re not lying. If you were then i’d have to bite you.” Makan said.

Mobius rolled his eyes.
I would like to go back to sleep sometime soon.

Charlie calmed her voice. “Okay, okay then. What’s your name, by the way?”

“Sierra… ouch!” Makan had bitten her free arm and was still clinging on. “Owowowow aggggh get off get off!” She started shaking her arm with tears in her eyes, trying to throw Makan off.

“Makan, what the hell are you doing!?” Mobius said.
Now you’ve probably infected her with Toxic Poison and she’s gonna die!

Eventually, Sierra threw Makan off the roof.
Who then teleported back onto the roof. “Apologies. I thought she lied for a second.”

“Owwwwww…” Sierra was nursing her arm injury, which was also slightly bleeding. “Why does it hurt so much!?”

“I’m Level 100.”

“Makan!” Charlie said. “Do you always bite people you think are lying!?”

Makan shrugged. “Not really. Only about half the time.”

Mobius facepalmed. “This is absolutely ridiculous.”

“They’re… agh…!” Sierra started panicking and agonizing over her injury at the same time.

“They? What about they?” Mobius demanded.

Sierra looked up at a nearby shack on the roof(which had stairs to the lower floors). “They’ve found me! They’re here for me!”

Charlie looked at the stair shack. “I don’t see or hear anything.”

“Ghosts ghosts they got fifty ghosts!” Sierra was now trying to pry the antenna off so she could find a better corner to cower in.

Mobius stepped up to the stair shack and opened the door.

...nothing was there.
Hahah, very funny.

The swellow kicked with his right talon anyway, colliding with an invisible enemy. A sableye appeared as Mobius kicked it, and despite being a ghost it fell down the stairs.

“Good show.” Makan said.

“There’s still forty ghosts coming please don’t let them get me!” Sierra began saying jibber-jabber while panicking, annoying everyone.
I have a feeling that you’re exaggerating on the number here.

Charlie was a little more alert. “Hey Mobius, there’s at least fifteen of them coming up the building.”

“How do you know that?” Mobius asked.

“As ghosts can detect fear, they can also detect life and unlife signs… I think.”

Makan scurried towards the door, detecting whatever he felt like and shot a powerful solarbeam down the stairs, hitting three invisible sableye that were coming up.

“How do you know Solarbeam?” Charlie asked.

Makan acted like that was normal. “Well it takes a lot of effort-” He took the time to shoot down the stairs again with a hyper beam. “-but it involves something either called determination, hacking, or bootleg.”


Where do you even get these things?
“I-I didn’t get the last two.” Charlie said.

“Because it’s better off if you didn’t.” Makan responded.

Sierra started randomly clawing at the air in front of her. “Nooooo! Stay away from me!”

Charlie shot some razor leaves at the invisible sableye near Sierra, knocking it down. “How’d they get past us?”

Mobius nonchalantly raked another sableye in front of him. “I don’t know. Maybe they’re ghosts that went through the roof!?”

Twelve sableye materialized on the roof.
That’s not my fault.

“Wah!” Sierra started yanking at the antenna some more until Charlie took her handcuffs off. She started running around, trying to avoid everything.

Makan started to rapidly shoot moonblasts at the sableye, one-shotting all of them.

Mobius used brave bird some more because it was a cool move.

Charlie really didn’t do anything useful. She shot the sableye with some razor leaves but they weren’t very good.

“You jinxed it.” Makan said.

“I jinxed it!?” Mobius said with annoyance. “Why don’t you teleport us out of here if you care!?”

“That’s a good idea.” Makan said. He used his psychic powers to teleport everyone… to an adjacent roof.

Charlie seemed shocked despite the fact that she already knew that Makan had Solarbeam and Hyperbeam. “Wow!”

The sableye came back. In about a minute. By going through the roof.
I jinxed it, huh!?

“I’m sure you know that I meant for you to teleport us farther.” Mobius said, a little frustrated.

“Eh, we can take ‘em.” Makan said, charging his ultra power. “BLAAAAAAHHH-”
He fired an intense beam of power at the sableyes!

Correct me if i'm wrong, but I think you’re using Hyper Beam here.
Sierra, panicked, ran up to a random sableye, and punched it. It’s face got frozen in a block of ice. “Waaaaaaah!!!”

Charlie just shot several barrages of leaves at random until they stopped attacking, or until she got tired. She breathed heavily, despite being a ghost.

Mobius flew up a few feet, and grabbed one of the sableye by their head, and then started to whack the others with it.

That hyper beam is really loud. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop it.
Makan ran out of PP for his Hyper Beam. “It worked. I took them all out. MVP Anorith.”

-----

They weren’t being pursued by sableye anymore. They tossed all them off the roof because everyone knows that ghosts can’t take fall damage.
(Ahem ahem ghost that fell down the stairsss?)

Sierra, despite being given the chance to leave, stayed with the group.
Still paranoid about more ghosts coming.

Mobius spoke quietly with Makan again, while Charlie tried to calm Sierra. “Yunno, if you’ve got all these powers and you’re level 100, why don’t you just stop the shadow pokemon yourself?”

Makan had possession of more cotton candy, as if he was able to duplicate Jasper’s supply of it. “Well, it’s complicated… actually, it’s not.” Makan nibbled on some more cotton candy. “It’s not exactly my fight. I don’t belong as a hero, but a manipulator.”

“I knew you spoke some English, and what is that supposed to mean?” Mobius asked.

Makan sighed. “Do you know why I can’t evolve?”

You told me it was Arceus’ doing, but I don’t believe it for a second.
Mobius shrugged. “Because you’re level 100 and are incapable of gaining any more experience?”

“That may be half of it, but no. It was Arceus. He fused an Everstone into my carapace, so I am permanently unable to evolve. But that’s fine. I’m not a fan of standing on two legs.”

“Okay, let’s just say for a minute that Arceus actually did prevent you from evolving,” Mobius said, looking like a complete jerk while saying so. “How is that relevant?”

Makan looked at Mobius a little angrily, because it WAS true. “He’s prevented me from interfering too much with the affairs of the people. I’m too smart, I could probably change the future if I wanted.”

“What about Rayquaza? We pretty much stopped the world from drowning when we awoke him.”

“Well… that was different. He can’t sleep when Kyogre and Groudon make a fuss.”

Mobius got a little frustrated. “But you’re not a legendary.”

“I am very legendary like.” Makan said, more frustrated than Mobius. “I know 19 moves and can annihilate whatever I want. Do you know anyone else that can do that!?”
Maybe Arceus? But there’s only 18 types, so no.

“...nope.”

“Alright then.” Makan said, relaxing. “Now that we’re over this, are you ready to teleport to Kalos? I’d really like to rid us of this useless minor character that keeps screaming.”

What is up with you, still? You can’t speak English, ever?
Mobius threw off the notion of trying to translate what Makan’s gibberish. “What’s that? You’re speaking in tongues again.”

Makan spoke in a smug tone. “It’s not tongues, it’s what we call breaking the fourth-”

“Nah, nah. That’s too cryptic for me to understand.”
Whenever you talk like that, it hurts my brain.

“Fine. Alright people!” Makan interrupted the slightly awkward, but boring conversation between Charlie and Sierra. “I’m teleporting everyone to Kalos because I can! Any objections!?”

Sierra raised her hand. “But Sinnoh is my home…!”

Makan thought she would say that. “No problem, when this is all over i’ll just teleport you back to Sinnoh.”

“Okay…”

“Now then, ladies... Prepare yourselves!” Makan radiated with energy, and a bright blue light enveloped everyone on the roof. And with a quick flash of light, they all were gone.

Razgrey October 14th, 2016 8:35 AM

Hoenn Recording 4
Anorith: They call me… Makan the Anorith.

Aggron: Whoa, Makan! How did you get in here?

Anorith: I am Level 100 and am the most powerful Anorith in the world. I have psychic powers. Eh.

Gardevoir: Hey, Makan is that you?

Anorith: Yes, Frost.

Gardevoir: Okay, where have you been for the last month?

Anorith: Kalos.

Aggron: Woah what’s Kalos?

Gardevoir: Shut up Charles, anyway Makan what have Grey and Jade been doing?

Anorith: Jade owns a Casino in Kalos. Grey is also part of the casino, and has a new nickname. He calls himself Mobius.

Gardevoir: What about *static*?

Anorith: I know nothing about him.

Bay October 15th, 2016 4:23 PM

So we're going back to a bit more lighthearted. Makan is MVP for sure with all those Hyper and Solar Beams, among other things..

Quote:

They weren’t being pursued by sableye anymore. They tossed all them off the roof because everyone knows that ghosts can’t take fall damage.
(Ahem ahem ghost that fell down the stairsss?)
Noticed you joked about this a couple times this chapter. To be fair, it might depend on a Pokemon by Pokemon basis. Sableye's body probably is still solid despite being a ghost type (Alpha Sapphire actually has one pokedex entry where the crystals it eats "crystallize and rise up to the Pokémon's body surface"), and I can see pokemon like Golett fall down. Not criticizing or anything, just a random musing here.

Quote:

“Okay, let’s just say for a minute that Arceus actually did prevent you from evolving,” Mobius said, looking like a complete jerk while saying so. “How is that relevant?”
A bit picky here, but I think you could have describe a bit more how Mobius looks like a complete jerk. I thought about perhaps Mobius having a smug look or smirking, but you did it with Makan a few paragraphs later when he was about to mention breaking the fourth wall. Facial expressions are hard.

Razgrey October 18th, 2016 8:34 AM

Act III
Part 13: Blank Void
Jade took a few deep breaths, landing on the porch after another flight. “You’re both a little heavy.”

“No we’re not.” Whisper hopped off of Jade’s back.

Jade was tired from carrying Jasper’s body, but walked into the treehouse normally.

“Good day, ladies!” There was a Victini leaning against one of the walls of the treehouse.
Mobius and Makan were in the house. And some Gourgeist.

Whisper rolled her eyes, because hardly anything surprised her anymore. “Who’re you? Wait, don’t tell me. I recognize you from somewhere.”
You’re Victoria, and you decided to also be called Vic and Vicky because you think that makes you special.

“You’re Victoria,” which Victoria actually said. “-and you decided to also be called Vic and Vicky because you think that makes you special. Is that what you were gonna say?”

“That was a little rude, but eh.” Makan said.

Jade walked over to the couch and dropped Jasper on it. “Alright, Mobius. What’s going on?”

Mobius adjusted his fedora. “This’ll take awhile to explain, but you’ll just tell me you can wait.”

Mobius explained and the rest of the group chatted later. They had their affairs set. Introductions ran about the place, with the occasional argument.
Victoria had apparently located Makan and was able to group up all of the pokemon of the manipulated story, they talked about the why, how, and where.
Whisper didn’t have any interest in talking. Same as ever.

Charlie walked away, out of the treehouse out of boredom. “Xian? Erin? That you?” She jumped off the porch of the treehouse, because she didn’t have any hands.

“Hey, Charlie. Where’s Raymond?” Xian asked.

“Oh no...” Charlie got nervous. “He was captured by a shadow pokemon!”

Erin didn’t move, because she was tired from the events that transpired. “What? Who captured Raymond?”

Charlie took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “It was a Houndoom, and the police station was-”

“A houndoom!?” Xian interrupted. “We found a houndoom at that shadow lab you told us about, but… no Raymond.”

“...oh. Well, you got any suspects?” Charlie asked.

Xian thought for a moment. “Well, unfortunately they’ve all been... beaten to death. Wait a second! There was one guy I found there, but I forgot about him when we left, damnit.”

“Wellll… we were being attacked by that one crazy cat.” Erin commented.

“Who?”

Erin yawned. “He’s that Meowstic that’s sleeping.”

“So I guess we’ll have to interrogate him, then?” Charlie said.

“Nah.” Xian said, bored. “He’s just an innocent. And i’m afraid he still wouldn’t answer, because he’s still a shadow pokemon, and we have no available way to cure it as of right now.”

----------
“Hey.” Whisper said. “We’ve all had a long day, so i’d appreciate it if you’d all get lost so everyone can sleep.” She hadn’t been paying attention to any of the noise, but it was annoying her.

“What about Jasper?” Mobius asked.

Whisper crossed her arms. “I can deal with this myself.”

Mobius yawned. “Okay.” He walked out of the treehouse and took off in flight, with Jade following him.

Victoria pointed at Makan and looked at him intimidatingly. “You’re lucky that your name calling antics are approved of this time!” She disappeared in a burst of harmless flame.

Makan walked forward and looked at Whisper. “Whisper. Jasper is either going to have some very strange dreams, or some nightmares.”

“That’s not helping.” Whisper said. Makan also teleported away.

Whisper sat in a different chair, sighing.
What am I supposed to do now? My little brother, lost both his hat and his mind! What what what am I supposed to do?

She just decided to… just close her eyes for a second. Getting a little sleepy.

.........

Sis! It’s cold here, my tail is freezing up!
Oh, you’ll live.

...Huh, who said that? Where am I? I feel like i’m floating in space! Sis, where are you? Help me! Help me!
Can’t think straight… sleepy…

9 Years Ago…
“What’s this dot mean?” Jasper said. He was a short Espurr, in some classroom looking over some papers.

An Axew looked at the papers in front of Jasper. “I think that’s the multiplication sign.”

“Multififation?”

The Axew laughed. “No, silly.” He’d say. “Mul-tee-plee-cay-shun. It’s where you get one number, and make a bunch of it!”

Pffft, that’s lame.
“I can just add stuff a lot, too!” Jasper said.

The bell started ringing. “Last one out is a rotten egg, Nick!” He darted out the door, leaving the papers on the table, because none of his was his homework.

“H-hey! Wait!” Nick the Axew ran out, along with a bunch of other kids.

Jasper ran past a bunch of kids, teachers, and administrators, one of which tried telling him to stop running in the hallways.

He ran out the doors to the yard of the school. “Ha! I win!”

“Haaa… phew.” Nick walked behind Jasper a few seconds later, gasping for breath. He took a few more seconds to rest. “That’s not… fair. I didn’t know when the bell was gonna ring!”

Jasper patted Nick on the back. “That must mean i’m really smart!”

“Cheater! You used your magical powers to teleport to the finish!” Nick said.

Jasper moved back a few steps. “My magical powers aren’t good enough, watch!” He took a deep breath, and prepared to use his psychic powers…

“Hey, don’t do that!” Jasper looked up at a Gardevoir across the street. Though he could’ve sworn she sounded like a guy. “If you try that you’re gonna break something, probably yourself!”
Wow, it’s a guy in a dress!
It wasn’t really arranged like a dress, but more like a trench coat.

Nick looked at the Gardevoir too. “Hey, are you wearing a dress?”

“Alright then, i’m leaving. Don’t blame me if you blow up your house!” The Gardevoir walked away.

“What’s his problem?” Nick said.

Jasper snickered a bit to himself. “Maybe he wants to be a girl!”

A bus finally drove next to the two kids. They boarded the bus and took seats.

“I wish my sister was still in this school. I’m lonely now.” Jasper said.
Why do you keep talking about weird things, too?
Whisper had ascended to the top of her classes, and was easily able to skip two grades. She was just that smart.

“Don’t worry, i’m here for you!” Nick said.

Jasper laughed. “Haha, thanks Nick!”

They chatted each other up the entire bus ride, until they reached Lumiose City.

Nick didn’t live in Lumiose, unfortunately. So Jasper slowly left the bus as a slightly claustrophobic Mareep walked out the bus. Slowly. “Bye, Nick! See you tomorrow!”

Jasper walked to the apartment where his family lived. He waved at the Talonflame at the front desk and then walked up the stairs up to the third floor, because the elevators were out of order.

He walked up to Room 316 and knocked on it, because he didn’t have a room key. “Mommm! Daddd! I’m hommme!”

A male Meowstic wearing a tie, opened the door. “Hey Jasper, how was school today?”

“I learned a new word, it’s… Mulfitivaporat-shunnnn.” Jasper tried saying as professionally as possible.

Dad made some muffled laughter. “You mean- heheh, you mean multiplication, right?”

“Y-yeah, that’s what I meant, yeah, Dad!” Jasper took an Oran berry from a fruit basket and started eating it. “Hey, where’s Mom?”

“She’s working a little late again. It’s fine. In the meantime, how about we get started on your homework?”

The new teacher didn’t give us homework, they must be really new!
Jasper didn’t realize that there was no homework today. “Oh no! I didn’t get any homework because the new teacher forgot!”

Dad was pretty sure that Jasper didn’t have any homework. “Eh, I don’t know about that, here, i’ll just pull up the website and see if you do actually have homework.”

Someone knocked on the door. “Dad, it’s me!”

“Can you go open the door for your sister? I’m still looking for your homework.” Dad asked.

Jasper pulled the handle and tried opening the door. It didn’t work. “Hey Dad, why can’t I open the door?”

“You’re supposed to pull it, son.”

“I knew that!” Jasper pulled the door open, with a little strain. His sister, also a Meowstic walked into the apartment room. She was a little taller than Jasper, but shorter than her Dad. She seemed excited for something.

She dropped a handbag on the table. “Dad! Dad! Derek asked me to the dance!”
Why can’t I go to the dance?

Dad closed the laptop he was using and looked at Whisper. “Oh, that’s great, Whisper! You're going to have an exciting night, aren't you?”

“Who's Derek?” Jasper asked.

“He's such a dashing young man, he must think I'm cute!” Whisper said.

Dad looked at Jasper. “By the way Jasper, you don't have any homework. And you had a substitute teacher.”

Hooray! No homework today!
Jasper's vision seemed to start going blurry. “Woah… why can't I see? Dad? Sis? Anyone?”
Nobody seemed to answer.

Jasper was back in a dark place, floating in the void. Alone.

(One month later, Whisper stopped talking about this Derek character. She even talked less. The dark side of me she is today.)

Bay October 19th, 2016 6:31 PM

Some backstory with Jasper and Whisper there is cute, am curious how important this flashback is. I'm assuming the the flashback is in Jasper's POV as the majority of his thoughts are there. There's one part where Jasper asks to himself why he can't go to the dance. I think you could have written a sentence or two on his reaction towards that. Did he whine and/or pout, for instance

The end lines though, "The dark side of me she is today" I'm totally confused. Is that like supposed to be Jasper saying he's the reason Whisper is who she is today? If so, I'm assuming we'll get more flashbacks concerning that.

Razgrey October 24th, 2016 5:16 PM

Part 14: Game of Treason
Whisper opened her eyes again, Jasper was still out cold.
Damnit… this is nerve wracking.

She got up off the chair she was sitting on, and started searching through their possessions from a drawer.

Eventually, she found something. Not quite what she was looking for, but she wasn’t looking for anything in particular. It was a sketchbook, which belonged to Jasper.

She looked at the first drawing. A decent attempt at a family picture. Whisper smiled faintly.

An Axew dressed as a pirate. Must’ve been some halloween party.

A spider. From a bird's eye view? Not even a Spinarak.

She kept flipping through the pages, looking for something...

----------
Jasper still seemed to be floating in some sort of space. Still unconcious. But conscious at the same time?
Ugh. What am I thinking? Random nonsense?
“Bacon pizza!”

What? Bacon isn’t healthy.
“Arr! I’m a pirate!”

Pirates? I wish I was a pirate.
“Damnit, Schenze. Before this is all over, I WILL find you.”

Who’s Schenze?
“The shadow creeping up on you.”

What!? Who’s talking to me?
And with that, Jasper had another strange dream.

-----Schenze-----
(Note: Schenze is pronounced Shawn-zei.)
4 Years Ago...

A dimly lit room. One poisonous dragon awaited under a useless lamp, waiting.

A pancham walked out of the shadows, to the dragalge. “What is it this time, boss?”

“There’s a new job today.” The boss’ voice sounded dry, like he ate cereal made of gravel, and then washed it down with sand.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did eat such things.

“...alright.” The pancham said, expecting the boss to just continue after his last sentence.

The dragalge waited a couple of seconds after the pancham spoke to respond, for some reason. “This client isn’t providing anything other than a name, picture, and address. They want the target alive, got it?”
The boss tossed the pancham a file.

The pancham took a quick glance at the file and then put it away. “I got everything, and so should you.”

“Okay, Schenze. Go then.” With that, the pancham, or Schenze left.
Looking for one flower girl, okay then.

Through a hidden passage, Schenze was not in a hideout anymore, but an abandoned gas station. He climbed over one of the broken window frames, avoiding a few shards of glass.

He took a minute to light a cigarette. And then looked at the city near him. Lumiose was about half a mile away from the gas station.

After waiting enough minutes, Schenze tossed the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it. He then casually strolled behind the gas station to find his motorcycle.

Might be a little dusty. I gotta get out more often.
Schenze found his motorcycle, inserted the ignition keys, and set off.

The world seemed to come to a blur as he drove, muffling the revving of the motorcycle’s engine.

Until a Masquerain flew into Schenze’s face.
Gah- that wasn’t very pleasant you damn pest!
He swatted it away and continued.

----------
Jasper seemed to find himself back in the space.
Why am I having these strange dreams? I… I just want to go home!
He felt the emptiness of doubt clawing away at him.

“Don’t give up Jasper, you can’t!” A child’s voice said.

Jasper spoke, still feeling quite doubtful. “I feel like giving up though. I can’t do anything, i’m useless!”

A shaymin seemed to appear out of nowhere in front of Jasper. “Jasper, you can’t give up! You have friends waiting for you!” she said.

“Who are you?” Jasper said, now feeling some fear.

“I’m Skyla, the embodiment of compassion!” The shaymin said.

Jasper shook his head. “I… don’t feel any good. I might’ve hurt someone.”

Skyla smiled. “You can’t give up. Please, Jasper!”

“I… can’t…” Jasper started to feel dizzy. The dream randomly resumed.

----------
Schenze was in one of several apartments in Lumiose. He had taken the elevator up to the 2nd floor, and was holding some sort of electronic device in his hand.
He found the room he was looking for. Number 237.
Knock, knock. Schenze pressed his ear against the door.

He heard some really faint steps walking towards the door to open it.
3… 2…
Schenze flicked a switch on the device.

As the door opened, all the lights went off via a jammer. Schenze then punched the person who opened a door: A roserade.

But it missed, in a split second her eyes widened and then she jumped backwards.
That’s not gonna cut it, huh?
Schenze quickly advanced, doing a swing with a forward jump.

The roserade ran away into another room; with Schenze closely trailing her to see if she made any really hostile movements.

In fact she did, the roserade now was holding some sort of survival knife, but with a longer edge. “Stay back! You come any closer and I’ll cut you!”

Schenze shook his head defiantly. “Heh, sorry. But I don’t take orders from a little girl that doesn’t know how to use a knife, Erin.” He waited, anticipating an attack.

Erin lunged with the knife, but Schenze dodged and grabbed her arm. Then, he easily lifted Erin into the air, and slammed her onto the ground. “If you want to make this easier for yourself then you should just give up on trying to fight me.”

“No, you insane criminal!” Erin managed do a handstand and flip herself upright. And started running away again.
Damnit, they didn’t tell me she was fast. Grrr… I should’ve known that.

Schenze ran after Erin, as she hopped through the window and started climbing up the balcony stairs. Surprisingly, the roserade he was chasing wasn’t able to outspeed him.

Erin leaped up to the edge of the roof, and clambered up onto it.
Schenze was barely able to climb up to the roof, and wasn’t attacked during his ascent for some reason.

“What do you want from me!?”

“I don’t need anything from you. But I get paid by a client if I capture you.” Schenze lit a cigarette nonchalantly.
This is annoying… what am I thinking?

Erin pulled out a phone and looked at it. “Wh… why isn’t my phone working?”

“It’s an electronic jamming device. You should’ve figured that out when all the lights in the building powered off.” Schenze stepped forward.

Erin walked near a stair shed, her fear being obvious. Then, as a final resort, she jumped into the air, and kicked the stair shed, launching her forward in a vicious lunge attack.

Too bad, though. Schenze shoved the blade out of the way, which cut his hand and made a grazing wound under his eye. With his other hand, he swung his fist at Erin’s face.

In two seconds, Erin was lying unconscious on the ground, with the knife out of her hand, Schenze felt a little tired, but fine.

You got me a little… Man, I thought you had me for a moment.
Schenze straightened himself, ignoring the fact that both his hand and face were bleeding.
That took a little too long. This’ll get a little more complicated.

-----Erin-----
A dragalge floated over to his office, noticing a note on his desk. He picked it up and read it.

Boss,
I’ve captured the target as requested. However, I believe that this may be a slight mistake. As that doesn’t matter to you, then that’s fine. When you’re ready, send me a ‘check’. You got any other jobs, then you ask someone else for now. I’ve gotten a cut on my hand.
~Schenze

………

The roserade woke up, in some sort of cell. She was sprawled across the floor, from some random thug tossing her in, probably.
Oh no, where am I? I… i’ve been kidnapped, haven't I? Why am I here!? I haven’t done anything!

There was a pancham outside of the cell, sitting on a chair and sleeping.
Is… he holding the keyring in his left hand? In front of the cell?

Erin stood up a little, and snuck forward. Focused on the keys, in a myriad of colors like pink… and blue…
Those are plastic keys?
“Hey, you!”

“Yeah?” The Pancham instantly responded.

Erin grabbed the bars and moved a little closer to the guard. “Why am I here?”

Schenze shrugged. “I don’t know.” Then he tossed the plastic keys at a nearby key rack, which missed. “I almost had it.

“If you don’t know then why did you kidnap me!?” Erin said angrily.

Schenze looked at Erin. “Orders of the boss. We get quote; customers and that’s pretty much how I make my living.” He scratched his chin. He had a cloth crap around his right hand, but the wound under his eye wasn’t bandaged. Just covered by some fur. “Though honestly, I don’t think you’re the target that our client is looking for.”

“I’m not!”

“If you’re not then…” Schenze took a second to yawn. “...my boss is just gonna tell me to kill you.”

Erin gasped. “Wh…”

“Shh shh…” Schenze lowered his voice to a whisper. “Listen, if you actually aren’t the right person, then i’ll let you leave.”

I’m gonna die here, aren’t I?
Erin kept silent, in frustration.

“Your silence is fine.” Schenze said. He stood up and walked out of the room.

Erin hopped on the nearby bed, which was scarcely better than the floor, and slowly closed her eyes.
(The next week of my life was a blur. Waiting. There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t talk to anyone I cared about and I just slept in the cell for days.
I just had a simple ‘meal’ of just bread and water. Of course, I just threw all the bread out of the cell and survived via chlorophyll from the one patch of light in the cell... Useless. This is hell, somebody… help me.
The guard acted like a nice guy, passing me a few bits occasionally, but I… am literally... dying here.
)

1 week later…

“You needed to see me, boss?” Schenze said.

The dragalge was reading over some papers. “Yes. I just got a fax from our client from a week ago.”

Schenze sighed. “Yeah, and?” The client only gave out half the payment, as he needed to… verify something.

“His source was incorrect. He had us capture the wrong person.”

“Oh really…”

The dragalge tossed the papers on the table. “That’s right. Now go take care of the prisoner, quickly. The client has the real target and he’s willing to pay the full amount this time.”

“No problem, Shade.” Schenze said in a slightly hostile tone. He walked out of the room.

“...hmph.”

………

Erin heard steps again.
What is it this time…?

Someone whistled, then whispered. “Psst, hey. Wake up.”

“Mmmmh… is it day… or midnight?”

“It’s 6 AM. Now hurry up, my boss just ordered me to kill you.” Schenze was fumbling for some keys.

Erin opened her eyes a little, but didn’t actually move. “Yunno, at first I thought you were lying about not killing me.”

Schenze opened the door, which got Erin’s attention. “That’s not funny, now follow me.”

Erin got off her bed, a little tired, and followed Schenze a little slowly.

He opened the door of another cell, and pried a tile off the ground, revealing some sort of trapdoor. “Come on, this way.”

“Hey… I never got your name.” Erin said.

“It’s Schenze, now hurry!” Erin went through the trapdoor, followed by Schenze.

It was dark, but Schenze seemed to know his way around. He kept pushing Erin forward. “Come on, faster. There’s no rocks to trip over.”

They ran forward, reaching a dead end eventually, but finding a ladder. They climbed up, with Schenze shoving on a trapdoor on the top. “Er- it’s stuck.”

Erin didn’t say anything.
Please, just open it faster! Just let me leave!

“Damnit, I think we blocked it with rock last month.” Schenze said.

Erin tapped Schenze. “Hey… do you have my knife?”

“Yeah, here you go.”

“Where is it?”
It’s too dark.

“Here, right-” There was the sound of something landing on the wet floor.

“What was that? Did someone find us?”

“Ow… that hurt.”

“What happened? Are you okay?” Erin climbed down the ladder, stepping on Schenze’s foot for a second.
Whoop, sorry.

Schenze groaned in pain. “I fell off the ladder, just- find the knife. It’s somewhere on the ground.”

Erin found and picked up the knife, after stepping Schenze several times. “I got it.”

Schenze stood up and dusted himself off a little. “Alright, find the hinges of the trapdoor and cut them off.”

That is probably a really bad idea.
“Won’t the rock above it fall on us, though?” Erin said, climbing the ladder anyway.

“There’s no choice and we’ve got no time to think about it, do it!” Schenze yelled.

Erin located the hinges, and started cutting them with her knife. After she cut one of them off, the trapdoor buckled and started to creak dangerously.
I…

“Get back!”
Erin hopped off the ladder, and a boulder fell through the trapdoor, ignoring whether a door pushes or pulls, falling to the ground. Erin fell several feet and hit her head on the ground.
Th… that hurts! Ow... help me, help me!

“You okay?”
Not okay not okay not okay.
“No, my head…” Erin had lost all will to stand up.

Schenze growled. “Damnit…” He grabbed Erin and started to carry her up the ladder. They were soon outside, near what looked to be some sort of abandoned gas station.

Silently, Schenze found his motorbike and drove off, with Erin in tow.
This… is all a dream, isn’t it?

“Hey… why did you help me, anyway?” Erin asked.

Schenze shrugged. “...you’re too pretty to die.”

Erin made a slight chuckle. “Very funny.”

(Now that i’ve betrayed my boss, something bad could happen to me. Shade could find me and kill me, or the police will find me and indirectly kill me.)
(However it was all fine. I left Erin at the hospital, and she dealt with her business herself. I changed my identity to conceal myself, changing my name to… Xian.)
(Erin left Kalos some time later to return to her home in Sinnoh, but we met each other again by an extreme chance… as police officers.)

Bay October 25th, 2016 5:24 PM

This is a nice little flashback how Xian and Erin met. Am interested over how Erin decides to join the police force in Kalos (I think it's briefly mentioned before, but I can't remember). I'm assuming Jasper is able to "dream" other Pokemon's pasts besides his and his sister's? Guess it's not too far fetched due to him being psychic. I'm a bit confused though with Shaymin's appearance and if they'll have a role in the story later on.

Razgrey October 25th, 2016 7:25 PM

Alright, now that I feel like it, several errors in previous parts of the story are gonna get fixed.
Though it's kind of unlikely that people are going to go back and read them again.

Starting with the Barry and Dawn fight which will get replaced with an entirely different segment which will be better at filling in empty spaces.

Razgrey October 27th, 2016 4:33 PM

Part 15: A Revenge Plot to Remember
Whisper found the picture she was looking for in the sketchbook. It was an intricately drawn spider, that was on fire.
What an interesting picture. It seems so familiar, too.

She had drawn it a few times in the past, but for reasons unknown.

Taken art classes, and Jasper did too, both with flying colors.

Still, after many years of not drawing anything ever, the emblem looked easy to draw.
Somehow, I remember this being really hard to draw in the past.

Whisper left the book on the table, then she took a black marker.

...and started to draw something on Jasper's hand.

----------
Jasper cried a lot, his tears dissipating as they fell off his face. “I’m useless! Everyone knows that i’m just a useless cat!”

“No, you can’t be!” Skyla said.

“You’re useless! You’re useless! You’re useless!” Several voices chanted.

Jasper got angry now. “Don’t say that! I’m not useless you mean jerks!”

Somehow, the area started flooding. Skyla started flailing around, panicking. “I can’t swim! Help!”

“Nooo!” Jasper waddled towards Skyla and picked her up, placing her on his head. “Are you okay?”

Skyla shook all the water off of her. “Yes.” The water in the room kept rising, up to Jasper’s neck.

“I got an idea!” Jasper concentrated slightly, and soon a bubble appeared around his head.

Skyla laughed. “Yes! Great job, Jasper! You aren’t so useless after all!”

“Wait what?” Within a second, all the water in the room drained out. “Aww… i’m all wet, I hate swimming.”

The voices in the background stopped. The space was quiet again.

Skyla jumped off of Jasper’s head, popping the bubble. “Jasper, you’re dreaming. Wake up.”

“What’s a dream?” Jasper started feeling dizzy again. His vision started to get blurry.

-? Years Ago, Emerald-
-Hoenn Victory Road-
One gardevoir with a satchel and a minun were walking through the dark caves of the victory road.
“I can’t figure out where we’re going. Phineas, do you know?”

“Nope.” Phineas said. “This place is a maze, what are we supposed to do, Aliyah?”

Aliyah thought for a moment. “Hm. Okay Phineas, you go back to the PokeCenter. I’ll figure this last bit out.”

“What?” Phineas said, a little shocked. “What if a dark pokemon attacks you while you’re alone?”

Aliyah shrugged. “Well… I got Ice Beam.”

Phineas didn’t think that was enough. “What if it’s a Sharpedo?”
You worry too much.

“Then I got Thunderbolt, look Phineas, i’ll be fine. I’ll just find the PokeCenter at the end of this place and you can get Liam to fly the rest of us over here.”

Phineas nodded. “Okay, you be careful!” He threw a rope he had at the black ceiling, which pulled him up and out of the cave somehow.

Alright, I just have to find the exit and i’ll be fine.
That was fast, Aliyah found a light within the place and followed it, into a room with light falling from the ceiling of the cave. She must be close to the exit.

But there was one last obstacle in the way. Aliyah gasped when she saw who it was. “Frost!?” She recognized him by his dress configured to look like a coat.

There was another gardevoir in the middle of the room, examining a wilted rose embedded in a rock. He threw the rock down, and spoke without turning around. “I knew you’d be here.”

“How did you get here before me?” Aliyah asked.

“It’s simple, really.” Frost turned around. He looked vicious, with a dark red neckerchief. He even had a strange stripe of blue across his head, some sort of shiny spot that Aliyah never understood. But most intimidating of all, unlike Aliyah’s eyes, which were blue, Frost had dull grey eyes, showing emptiness. “I just ignored the trivialities as much as I could.”

Is that… what… you’ve been...
Aliyah felt a little sad at what she just heard. “So… you didn’t enjoy yourself? You just wanted to fight me this whole time?”

“That’s right.”

“Why?”

“Why!? Because you’ve tormented me as a child!” The fierce bark intimidated Aliyah, and she stepped back a little. “It was terrible! From that i’ve hated you my entire life.” He sighed, but kept his angered expression. “You think… that i’ll just let that go, Aliyah?”

Yes, I was mean, but… i’m different now.
Aliyah looked down a little, being reminded of that. She kept her voice down. “That was long ago, Frost. We… we were just kids.”

Frost scoffed. “Tch, Even though that is true, i’m still not letting you through today. So come at me, and let’s see what you’re made of.”

“Does this have to happen? Do we have to fight!?” Aliyah said, a little angry with Frost.
Why do you have to be this way?

Frost shrugged uncaringly. “No, we don’t have to fight. But if you want to try reaching the Elite Four, then you’ll have to go through me.”

Fine, then.
Aliyah reluctantly mumbled a few words, then, after a delay, fired a fast arc of electricity at Frost. It hit him square in the chest, knocking him down.
That was too easy.

“Close, but no cigar.” A voice came from behind. Before Aliyah could turn, Frost kicked her in the back, knocking her down.

Aliyah stood up and dusted herself off. “That was a dirty trick!”

Frost still didn’t care. “You should’ve known that i’d be playing in such a way when I used double team.” And with that, Frost projected clones of himself all around the cave. “Heheh, I can’t even tell which one of them is you.”

I’ve gotten used to this sort of tomfoolery.
Aliyah fired an ice beam at one of the clones, which didn’t do any damage, and then willed the beam to shatter. It exploded, scattering icicles everywhere in the room, ricocheting off the walls, scratching everyone slightly.

She turned to look at the last person in the room.
“This will be ridiculous.” Aliyah took her satchel off and tossed it on the ground.

Frost gave a wicked smile. “But it’s also gonna be quite fun.” He fired a Shadow Ball at Aliyah, who barely dodged it. He followed up with another one, which Aliyah didn’t anticipate.

“Agh! What is with you now, you sick psychopath?” Aliyah said angrily. She fired an arc of ‘thunder’ at Frost, who was somehow able to sidestep it.

Frost chuckled. “You better watch those thunderbolts, it’s gonna be worse for you if one of those hits me.”

Worse for me? If he gets paralyzed… then he he’ll… synchronize it. But… I can trace it too!

Aliyah straightened herself. “I think I got it now.”

“Oh really?”
No, that won't work.

“Like- this!” Aliyah tried a thunderbolt again, but then she stopped it from moving, then attempted attempted to shatter the bolt. “Ow!” She breathed heavily, as one of the sparks zapped her.

The bolt eventually exploded, scattering light sparks everywhere.

Frost was a little confused, until he was jolted himself. He was lowered to one knee, but unharmed. “Nice, you hurt yourself so you could paralyze me. But you’re paralyzed too and you’re on the verge of losing.”

“No… I’m not.” Aliyah used a Full Restore on herself.
I think… I might have this.

Frost stood up, sparks still surrounding him. “I’ll deal with you just fine. Next time try using something safer like Thunder Wave.”

He fired a shadow ball. It grazed Aliyah as she was dodging. “Don't just dodge all day, fight me!”

“Don't think I'm falling for that.” Aliyah tried firing another thunderbolt at Frost, he took it, but he didn’t seem to feel it. “What? Nothing happened!”

Frost yawned. “Something did happen. But I feel fine.” He tried standing up, but a jolt dropped him to his knee. “...mostly fine.”
How are you so powerful!? What am I supposed to do?

“Frost, you’re paralyzed, you can barely move, can you please just give up?” Aliyah asked. Frost silently glared at Aliyah angrily. She reluctantly fired an ice beam at Frost.

It failed, though. Frost quickly held up his hand to stop the ice beam in front of his face. Then he willed the ice beam to shatter, firing out icicles all around the room.

Aliyah braced herself, receiving a few scratches. “Wh… what?”

Frost stood up slowly, seeming to shrug the paralysis off. “Not quite.” He teleported out of view.

Instinctively, Aliyah turned around. But there was nobody behind her. But there was somebody behind her right now.
When she turned her face back, Frost was right in front of her. “Woah!” She stepped back, almost tripping.

He looked real angry. “No, not this time! I’m never going to lose to you again!” A furious orange color flooded his eyes, and his right hand started to emit a dark glow.
What? What is that? What are you doing!?

Aliyah was frozen with fear for some reason.

Quickly, Frost punched Aliyah in the face, knocking her down. “-Eeah!” It felt more like a slash than a punch. She covered her cheek with her hand, and it felt a little bloody.
No… stop… please.

Frost eyes widened, and all the color from his eyes were drained. He calmed down. “I…”

Aliyah coughed, and continued to breath heavily. “No, Frost. I’m… sorry.”

“None of that; any of that, made me feel any better.” Frost said.

Hurting anyone isn’t gonna make you feel better.
Frost breathed heavily, still covering her cheek. “That’s fine, i’m not in charge of your feelings.

Frost stepped forward and held out his hand. “Here.”

With a little delay, Aliyah grabbed Frost’s hand and stood up. “Thanks.”

“I guess you’re not good enough for the Hoenn League yet, then.”

“Maybe not, but there’s nothing wrong with trying.” Aliyah inspected her slightly bloody hand for a moment.

Frost turned towards the exit, making a subtle wave. “Alright, whatever makes you feel better.” With that, he left.

“Yeah… whatever makes me feel better.” Aliyah mumbled to herself. She stepped forward a few steps, still tired.
My face hurts so much… i'm out of full restores.
“Ugh…” Aliyah collapsed on the spot.

…!
…?

“Aliyah! Aliyah! Are you okay?”

Yeah, I'll live.
“Ow… my head…” Aliyah lifted her face off the ground. There was a Luvdisc in front of her.
Oh hey, Bella. I didn't think that you'd find me here.

“What happened?” Bella asked.

Frost shook her head, her vision blurry. “Frost… he was waiting for me.”

“Who's Frost?”

“He's another Gardevoir. I knew him as a child,” Aliyah felt my cheek, it had some relatively dry blood on it, but it still needed to be fixed. “...I bullied him back then, and now he came back… to get me.”

Bella was about to give a bandage when Aliyah said that, then dropped it. “How rude! You can't let him get away with that! Let's go get him!”

No no no, that's the last thing you want to do.
“No, let it go.” Aliyah said, patching up her wound.

“But…!”

I was immature. I didn't know how to actually make friends.
“It's not his fault.” Aliyah picked up her satchel and equipped it. “It's mine.”

Bay October 28th, 2016 4:16 PM

Some nitpicks under spoilers.

Spoiler:
Quote:

Frost gave a wicked smile. “But it’s also gonna be quite fun.” He fired a Shadow Ball at Aliyah, who barely dodged it. He followed up with another one, which Aliyah didn’t anticipate.
I feel this part you could follow up with one more sentence, like how the Shadow Ball hit Aliyah hard on the back and she screamed.

Quote:

Frost silently glared at Aliyah angrily.
"Angrily" is repetitive since glare is just looking at someone angrily.

Quote:

What? What is that? What are you doing!?

Aliyah was frozen with fear for some reason.
I thought this could have written better if you take out the bolded part and switch the two lines like this so we get a better idea why aliyah is scared.

"Aliyah was frozen with fear. What? What is that? What are you doing!?"

Quote:

“What happened?” Bella asked.

Frost shook her head, her vision blurry. “Frost… he was waiting for me.”

“Who's Frost?”
Aliyah you mean? Noticed you used Frost's name again a few paragraphs later.


With that out of the way, Aliyah and Frost's battle sure was intense. Me personally I think it's somewhat petty Frost kept that grudge for so long even if Aliyah's bullying was very bad back then. You don't have to forgive them, just there's a better way to deal with that kind of emotion (this is more me not agreeing with Frost's actions and not how the way your story is going).

Razgrey October 28th, 2016 6:31 PM

Aliyah you mean? Noticed you used Frost's name again a few paragraphs later.

Dangit. I should've seen that coming.
Because... One. I kept getting thrown off because of two of the same pokemon in one room(somehow) and Two, Frost is a girl in my other stories.

Anyways, I'm not good at details, unless I want to be.

Razgrey November 3rd, 2016 11:30 AM

Part 16: Cabin Fever
Looking for one Blue. Don’t get in my way. And most importantly, don’t underestimate me.

Xian was walking down a hallway. Followed by Erin and Charlie.

They had such a dramatic walk, well… except Charlie. She didn’t seem to care that much.

Xian walked up to a door and opened it. As he walked into the room, his friends lined up next to him. “Captain.”

One Suicune took his paw off his telephone. “Ah, Xian and company. I was just thinking of calling one of you over.”
Reed and Felix better be listening to this.

“No you weren’t.”

Lionel growled a bit. “Alright then, how can I help you ladies and gentlemen?”

“I’d like to ask you a few questions.” Xian said smugly. “I got a certain pokemon telling me of a person named Red. Then after that I assume that you have a codename of Blue, seeing as you both are legendary, and should be typing corresponding to your color.”

“...and?” Lionel started to look antsy.

Erin stepped forward. “Hey hey wait a second, Lionel. Where’s the backup that you keep withholding from us?”

Lionel straightened himself. “You can answer that question yourself. They’re all currently busy investigating the shadow pokemon threat.”

“Ah ah.” Xian said. “There’s a fatal flaw in your response. If they actually were investigating the shadow pokemon, then you should’ve sent them to back us up against a shadow pokemon, but instead you just barked like a moron.”

“Are you accusing me of something, sergeant!?” Lionel said angrily.

“That’s exactly what I am doing.” Xian pulled out a file. “When you weren’t looking, I bugged your computer. And I found some extremely incriminating evidence. Therefore… You are the mastermind behind the shadow pokemon attacks.”

Lionel gave an evil grin. “Damnit… that’s right, you fools. I did create the shadow pokemon. And you wanna know why? Because we’re all imperfect! We can be better than we are now! Something that none of you will ever understand!
And you fools have no authority! Nobody will ever believe you!”

Erin and Charlie laughed, and then the gourgeist stepped forward. “We recorded this entire conversation, Lionel! And not only that, but the file isn’t even evidence!”

Erin took the file from Xian, and opened it. “It’s just a catalog for flowers!”

Lionel roared. “Especially… WHEN YOU’RE DEAD!”

Suddenly, a Volcarona(who is called Felix) burst into the room. “Captain Lionel, I just got word 14 seconds ago that you did all this shadow pokemon business! You’re under arrest!” Felix fired a few needles at Lionel, who dodged.

“You know what’s also wrong with you!? You’re all weak to Flying. And you’ll all be decimated when you face me!” Lionel teleported away in a burst of icy water.

“Damnit.” Felix said. “I am weak to flying. And ground, even though i’m floating. Stupid…”

Erin crossed her arms, looking at Felix. “So much for subtle.”

“Correct me if i'm wrong, but i’m pretty sure firefighters can’t fight water.” Charlie said.

We’ll be back, you can count on that.

----------
Jasper was thinking hard.
Dream, dream, dream… what exactly is a dream.

This is your dream. You must wake up from it.

This… is MY dream.

“It’s my dream… I can do anything I want in my dream.” Jasper said. “Hey, Skyla, I-”
Nobody was near. He was just in a blank void.

I want answers.

Jasper closed his eyes tightly, and when he opened them, a Fraxure was standing in front of him. “N… Nick?”

“Yeah, it’s me! Except I can fly!” Nick started to float around the place.

“Nick, are you able to answer my questions?”

“I don’t make the rules here, Jasper. Do you know who does?”

I make the rules. This is my dream, right? I can do whatever I want!
“Nick.” Jasper said, stepping towards Nick. “Why… am I having these dreams?”

“It’s your willpower. You are resisting the nightmares of the shadow corruption by dreaming parts of the past!”

“What… what does that mean?”

“It means that you can’t dream bad dreams. They can be good dreams, or just… dreams.”

Jasper put his hands on his head. He felt a burning sensation. “I don’t… want… to keep dreaming like this…!”

Nick stopped floating around the place and landed in front of Jasper. “Then wake up, Jasper. Nobody will replace you as my best friend!”

----------
3 Years Ago…

A young meowstic walked to a house, bustling with noise, and rang the doorbell.

The door was opened, by a Fraxure. “Hey, Jas!Are you a pirate?” The Fraxure was wearing a suit and a tophat.

“Yeah, i’m a pirate this halloween!” Jasper said. He was wearing a striped shirt, a pirate hat, and an eyepatch. “So Nick, how’s the evening been?”

“Oh, it’s been real fun this evening.” he opened the door some more and stepped aside. “Come in, we got lots of soda!”

Jasper walked in the house and grabbed a can of unnamed soda off a nearby table. “It would’ve been nice to go trick-or-treating, though.”

Nick scoffed. “Psssh, you’re too old for that. If you want to eat some unhealthy junk food then you can go to the store.”

“Sue, alright then.” Jasper opened the can and drank some of the soda. He then walked around aimlessly, observing the costumes that everybody seemed to be wearing. To say the least, they were uncreative.

Jasper accidentally bumped into someone. “Whoop, sorry.” He looked at an emolga, who didn’t have a costume.
I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?

The emolga silently went back to doing his own business, and Jasper just walked by.

Like he knew the house like the back of his hand, Jasper easily walked past all the guests and to the upstairs rooms.

“BOO!”

“Wah!” Jasper fell back, a little bit close to the stairs. “That’s not funny, man!”

The prankster took off his mask of giratina off. It was a Frogadier. “Heh, you should’ve seen your face! It was the absolute best!”

“Yeah yeah whatever.” the meowstic stood up and dusted himself off. “Ready to lose again?”

The Frogadier laughed a little. “I’ve been training. Prepare to eat your words.”

“Oh jeez what have you done?” Nick walked up the stairs. “Who spilled the soda on the floor?”

Jasper looked behind him. He spilled his can of soda when he got scared and forgot about it.
Whoops.
“Oh, uhh… my bad.” Jasper picked up the soda can and repositioned it.

“You’re lucky that this isn’t close enough to drip onto the heads of the guests.” Nick walked past Jasper into a bathroom, then came out with a towel and cleaned the mess up. Then he just tossed the towel into the bathroom aimlessly. “I thought you might just walk past everyone and go upstairs again. Are you just addicted to Splatoon?”

Hm, I should go get that for myself.
Jasper shook his head with an innocent grin on his face. “No, no… we were just discussing… Flappy Fletchling.”

“Oh, so that’s what you’re addicted to, huh? Alright. Do whatever then.” Nick walked downstairs.

Jasper turned to the Frogadier. “Alright Zeddy, you’re going down for sure!”

Zeddy gave a cocky smile and pulled out his phone. “Alright, standard rules?”

“Yeah, say them to me.” Jasper said.

“Three rounds, and the total determines the winner!”

“That’s right, now start!”
Zeddy started the flight of the fletchling, he was doing real good, until his finger twitched out of anticipation, and the fletchling hit a pipe.
“Twenty-seven points. Not bad for a first attempt, huh?”
Come on. Just lose already so I can dominate you.

A little farther this time.
“Thirty-one points. I got Fifty-nine points now.”
“Fifty-eight, Zeddy.”

Not so great, but decent. Maybe.
“Damnit- Twelve!” Zeddy said, like losing was the end of the world.
Jasper pulled out his own phone. “Watch a master handle this one.”

Alright, all or nothing, let’s do this.
The fletchling started its flight. First pipe, second pipe, third- NO!
“NU! How!?”

Zeddy started laughing. “Hahaha! Have you actually been practicing?”
Shut up shut up shut up!

Jasper was now really nervous. He’d have to achieve gold twice.
“Alright… I can still do this.”

Unfortunately, there was no gold.
“Ooh, twenty points. What’s gonna happen now, you’ll suddenly get forty-eight points to beat me?”

Yunno what, I probably will.
Jasper started the third flight. Third time’s the charm, some lucky pika probably said.
One… two… four… eight.... sixteen… thirty-two…

“That’s a little better, but… I don’t think-”
“SH SH SH.” Jasper was focusing hard. Obvious way too hard, though.
Sixty-four… Eighty-three. Eighty-three, people!

“Yeah! How’d you like that!?” Jasper said triumphantly.
Zeddy looked a little pissed. “How!? Were… were you just messing up intentionally at the start?”

“Yeh.”

“Really?”

“No.” Jasper took a few semi-deep breaths. “Phew. That was stressful.”

Zeddy gave an angered motion with his hand. “I’ll beat you next time.”

“Now what should we do?” Jasper asked.

...

They didn’t think of anything immediately.
How about…
Jasper looked at Zeddy. “You wanna play Splatoon?”

Zeddy shrugged. “Eh, sure.”

“Okay, let me go get a soda first.” Jasper was about to walk down the stairs, but then he had the idea of just using his telekinesis on the soda.
Alright, last time didn’t go so well. But this time…

“Found you.” A hand grabbed and clamped one of Jasper’s ears shut. He turned around, and Whisper was standing there.

Jasper scowled. “What’re you doing here? I thought you didn’t like parties.”

“Still don’t.” Whisper let go of Jasper’s ear. “But last time you went to Nick’s you stayed until ten on a school night. That, and I assume you’ll do something extremely stupid with your psychic powers.”

Oh jeez…
“I… uhh...” Jasper rubbed the back of his head.

Whisper kept the same nonchalant look, as always. “Just go get the soda yourself.”

Jasper walked downstairs reluctantly. He grabbed another can of nameless soda and turned around.
The emolga from earlier was in front of him, with a cocky expression. “I’ve seen you before, Mr. Eyepatch, haven’t I?”

“So have I. You’re… Derek, right?” Jasper said.

“That’s right, now where do I know you from?”

Jasper didn’t like the look of him. In fact, a third of the partygoers didn’t have a costume.
You’re making me uncomfortable. Can I go now?

Derek gave his best answer. “Oh right, you have an older sister by the name of Whisper, right?”

“Yep.” Jasper didn’t make eye contact with Derek, because he seemed like a jerk for some reason. “And I also remember that you two broke up for some reason.”

Derek looked up to the second floor, and saw Whisper, who shook her head and walked away.

“I think she hates you for some reason.” Jasper said.

“I did nothing wrong.” Derek said angrily.
Seems like you’ve went from prettiest boy in school to the whiniest. Eh, I probably shouldn’t say that.

Jasper shrugged and walked up to the second floor. “Whatever, i’m just gonna go have fun now.”

(Why am I feeling like i’m burning all of a sudden? My right hand, it’s on fire??? But… it’s not on fire, but it’s still burning. This hurts. Why.)
(Somebody stop this. Stop… the pain…)


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