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-   -   a good heart these days is hard to find (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=379182)

Her September 26th, 2016 12:00 AM

a good heart these days is hard to find
 
TRUE LOVE... THE LAAAAASSSTTTING KIIIINNNNDDDD

when you are interested in dating or wanting a relationship, how do you go about it? do you hunt it out or just see what happens?

gimmepie September 26th, 2016 12:01 AM

When I'm interested - which is not bloody often these days lol - I tend to seek it out because more often than not I'm only interested due to a specific person.

Sothis September 26th, 2016 12:06 AM

I tend to be rather direct and honest with them! I'll just tell them that I have a crush or something and most people take it ok. I have yet to have anyone really get angry over it.

Alex September 26th, 2016 6:52 AM

I pursue it and try to make something happen

Altaria September 26th, 2016 9:04 AM

I've been in one relationship since I was 12, sooo...but I did make it obvious I had a crush and waited for him to make a move. c: I don't have very much self confidence, so.

Esper September 26th, 2016 9:22 AM

I've never sought out a serious relationship. They've just come by accident / developed from less serious relationships.

I don't know what I'd do if I wanted to search for one. It seems like it's fraught with pain and failure from what I've seen some of my friends go through. Really, I think even if I found myself in want of a relationship I wouldn't try to seek one out because it seems that way just gets you a lot of undesirable, temporary people in your life.

Margot September 26th, 2016 10:01 AM

The best romantic situations arose for me when I wasn't actively looking for them. So I'm much more inclined to go with the flow and see where life takes me than actively try to get out there and date.

Melody September 26th, 2016 10:08 AM

I try to make my feelings known to that person somehow. Often times the simplest and most elegant way is to just talk to them and tell them. But that's only extremely necessary when I feel very strongly and no other ways have worked.

I've learned that it does no good to press them; if someone wants to accept them and make something of it; they will. If not; well they will reflect them. With less intense feelings or mild crushes it's just better if I simply let them pass, maybe express them to that person in some way and eventually as they don't respond in kind or at all I simply move on to the next person. I have plenty of love for lots of people and I surely will find someone else whom I admire or feel like showing love for.

maccrash September 26th, 2016 1:32 PM

well, two things. ONE I'm very good at having crushes on people. it happens a lot. there's a clear distinction in my mind, though, between people I'm Having A Crush On and those I'm actually romantically interested in on a more serious level. I can't really explain it. but regardless I never actively seek a thing out, I just let feelings develop without any semblance of guidance. I'm pretty sure every romantic interest I've ever had in this life has been borne out of some completely bizarre circumstance or a chance encounter or something except for, like, one. Ah, life.

HOWEVER when I feel something for someone I'll usually say it eventually because I can't actually bear the thought of not when I actually Feel A Thing. sometimes it takes awhile but the truth eventually comes out. I'm also really bad at being subtle for the most part so people usually know way before I actually say it. Checkmate.

gimmepie September 26th, 2016 3:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esper (Post 9426663)
I've never sought out a serious relationship. They've just come by accident / developed from less serious relationships.

I don't know what I'd do if I wanted to search for one. It seems like it's fraught with pain and failure from what I've seen some of my friends go through. Really, I think even if I found myself in want of a relationship I wouldn't try to seek one out because it seems that way just gets you a lot of undesirable, temporary people in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by colours (Post 9427012)
Heh. Interesting topic!

I have had some crushes, but I very rarely act on these crushes (meaning: I very rarely let people know if I have a crush on them). There's a part of me that wants to get in relationships, and then there's the part of me that feels like the single life was pretty much the life that's meant for me and trying to seek out relationships would only bring about pain and disappointment, so there's that.

It's a rather cynical viewpoint, sure, but better to let love find me than me trying to find it, is the way I see it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I shouldn't sweat it. I'm fine either way.

Cynics unite!

Somewhere_ September 26th, 2016 3:55 PM

tbh i just fail. so far I'm 0/2. nothing has gotten past 3 dates.

Usually I get the girl's snapchat, get a streak going, hang with her as a friend as much as possible, then ask her out casually and hope she is interested.

Imafroggy September 27th, 2016 6:23 AM

Here's the thing with relationships with me right now.
I'm young so I think it's okay to be a hoe. I tell girls that I'm not looking for anything serious and I'm not looking for any committments.
Also, talking and dating =/= exclusivity.
I don't really hunt for it, I kind of just meet someone new and take it from there.

User19sq September 27th, 2016 9:56 AM

I don't actively seek relationships, which is why my girlfriend-count is still in the single digits. If something happens along the way, then it happens. But I don't try to hunt for a girl every second of my daily life. XDDDDD

But if something were to happen, then I'd be committed to her (if she's truly worth it), and I expect my feelings to be returned because, well, that's how I roll

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imafroggy (Post 9427637)
I'm young so I think it's okay to be a hoe. I tell girls that I'm not looking for anything serious and I'm not looking for any committments.
Also, talking and dating =/= exclusivity.

You, sir, are not someone I could ever consider dating. XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Imafroggy September 27th, 2016 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taro Tanaka (Post 9427849)
I don't actively seek relationships, which is why my girlfriend-count is still in the single digits. If something happens along the way, then it happens. But I don't try to hunt for a girl every second of my daily life. XDDDDD

But if something were to happen, then I'd be committed to her (if she's truly worth it), and I expect my feelings to be returned because, well, that's how I roll



You, sir, are not someone I could ever consider dating. XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Well yeah, I don't date guys. but i'm not wrong when I say that talking and dating doesn't necessarily mean that you're exclusive. You have to make sure to communicate properly to see where the relationship stands and where you both stand. I'm not bothering to be in a relationship because I know i'll cheat and that's not fair for the other person.

Controversial? September 27th, 2016 11:11 AM

I don't hunt, I just kinda go with the flow. If something happens, something happens.

EDIT: Just asked a girl for coffee. Let's see what happens...

MSakuEX September 27th, 2016 7:01 PM

I don't seek relationships and haven't in the longest time, I've only been in one relationship and that was it. I don't really care. I'm super anxious and don't have much confidence when it boils down to that

dad September 27th, 2016 8:07 PM

i don't seek out guys to date, i try to just run into them naturally. however, when it comes to letting someone know i like them i can't just outright say it. i'm really afraid of rejection so i just flirt in hopes of them noticing.

gimmepie September 28th, 2016 2:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitty (Post 9428566)
they deserve better :'D

You deserve a good thwacking for that one.

Spherical Ice September 28th, 2016 8:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honey (Post 9428434)
i just flirt in hopes of them noticing.

you know this wont happen right

well, if they do notice, they'll think they're overthinking it

dad September 28th, 2016 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spherical Ice (Post 9428836)
you know this wont happen right

well, if they do notice, they'll think they're overthinking it

yeah, i've noticed how unsuccessful it's been in the past lmao. don't get me wrong, i've been in relationships, i've just never been the one to initiate them. what would you suggest that i do?

Spherical Ice September 29th, 2016 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honey (Post 9429030)
yeah, i've noticed how unsuccessful it's been in the past lmao. don't get me wrong, i've been in relationships, i've just never been the one to initiate them. what would you suggest that i do?

ime you just gotta take a leap of faith and face the possibility of rejection, the worst that happens is you boost some dudes ego. obviously far easier said than done but, yeah, being direct helps haha

User19sq September 30th, 2016 4:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imafroggy (Post 9427911)
Well yeah, I don't date guys.

...Touché.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imafroggy (Post 9427911)
but i'm not wrong when I say that talking and dating doesn't necessarily mean that you're exclusive. You have to make sure to communicate properly to see where the relationship stands and where you both stand. I'm not bothering to be in a relationship because I know i'll cheat and that's not fair for the other person.

Not that I condone cheating... but if there were a guy who could be incredibly honest with the way he operates with girls, you'd be him. XDDDDD I don't think I'm suited for your style, nor do I care to try it; but I'll admit that you have quite the valid points, and happen to be incredibly aware of them. My point is valid too, but either side is equally host for room in which error can breathe in. So I guess either way is fine, and all it depends on is whether or not those in question are fine with it. X3

Astinus September 30th, 2016 2:03 PM

The past several times that I've actually liked someone enough to try and have a romantic relationship with them, I was the one that initiated it. In recent times, though, I've decided to remove that stress from my life, and I now would rather see where things go naturally. There's a whole lot less worrying about what the other person means by what they say or how they act. This means that I can spend more of my mental energy just enjoying being in the other person's company.

Overlord Drakow September 30th, 2016 2:27 PM

In the past I've used online mediums such as this very forum hahaha in pursuing objects of desires. I haven't been in hunting mode for a while now though, so I guess I just chill. But yeah I generally prefer to try and get to know a person and assess them against some general criteria. So not the type to hit the club for pot luck.

Imafroggy September 30th, 2016 9:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taro Tanaka (Post 9431032)
...Touché.



Not that I condone cheating... but if there were a guy who could be incredibly honest with the way he operates with girls, you'd be him. XDDDDD I don't think I'm suited for your style, nor do I care to try it; but I'll admit that you have quite the valid points, and happen to be incredibly aware of them. My point is valid too, but either side is equally host for room in which error can breathe in. So I guess either way is fine, and all it depends on is whether or not those in question are fine with it. X3

I suppose. But i'm neither right or wrong.
I don't condone cheating and I think it's terrible. Which is why I wouldn't get in a relationship. :)


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