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Here you go... 5 cents USD. Don't spend it all at once!
I wish for another season of a TV show I like that was cancelled before its time. |
Granted, but the T.V. show is voiced and subtitled in a language you do not understand, and the quality is in black and white.
I wish I had a larger aquarium. |
granted, but it only works if you use Mountain Dew on it.
i wish my back didn't hurt whenever i bent down to pick something up. |
Granted but, everything else does.
I wish I could get a good night's sleep |
granted, but it's night time everywhere at some point thanks to timezones, so you're now sleepy every moment of your life.
i wish everyone had a bidet in their home. |
Granted but, now there's a world wide water shortage. Hope that clean bottom was worth it
I wish cleaning was as easy as the snap of the fingers |
granted, but you break a finger each time you try to snap now.
i wish i could sleep 8 hours worth in just 10 minutes of real time. |
Granted, but in the post covid apocalypse, that will only be the equivalent of 7 minutes now ;)
I wish for some pumpkin spice cheesecake to appear in my fridge |
Granted, go look. Go on. I know you're curious. It's there. It should be right behind the milk...
I wish for a new car |
Granted but the engine is entirely missing.
I wish for the infinity gauntlet |
Granted but, there are no infinity stones attached to it.
I wish I could time travel |
Granted but you lose your ability mid jump and get lost in the nothingness for all eternity, not aging and unable to die, just existing...
I wish for a puppy |
Quote:
I wish for a private jet |
Granted. Here is a rusty old carburettor, you now have several private jets.
I wish for my lawn to never need cutting |
granted, it's nothing but dead, barren soil now, and nothing will ever grow on it again...
i wish Moses in the Bible was called Shawn |
Granted but now he didn't part the red sea cause he's Shawn of the dead, see?
I wish for no more pips in fruit |
Quote:
granted, they're now in all of your pants and underwear. i wish fruits and veggies tasted like their junk food counterparts while still maintaining their healthiness. |
Granted, but now fruits and veggies are banned in some countries so junk food companies don't go into bankruptcy
I wish people used solar energy instead of oil and carbon |
granted but, all of the volcanos erupt, spewing ash and debris into the atmosphere blocking out the sun. Now we are all screwed.
I wish that my wish can't be corrupted |
Granted. Your wish for that wish not to be corrupted came true! Pity you didn't wish for something else though 😎
I wish for self cooking pizza |
Granted, but now the microwave is extinct! You can no longer heat things without the stove or the oven.
I wish I knew how to actually grill food |
granted, but now grills break every time you touch them.
i wish the next 3 posters would corrupt this wish somehow. |
...i want to post 3 times so badly but it might not go over well. So granted, but the next 3 posters get chased by jason vorhees because he didn't want the wish to get corrupted.
I wish to watch baby turtles hatch from an egg in real life |
Granted, but they hatch at the middle of a busy intersection and you're too far away to be able to do anything.
I wish I could freeze time when I sleep so I don't lose any hours of the day while always getting sufficient rest. |
that's horrible.
also granted, but freezing time opens a portal and brings a random deceased person from history back to life. (and it can be anybody). I wish baby turtles had invincibility. |
Granted. Now they're completely invincible but are born as soulless husks.
I wish for the 3DS to be re-continued... |
Granted, but they've been contaminated and holding one is lethal.
I wish I would stop getting creepy game ads. ( Spoiler:
|
Granted but, now you get bombarded by all kinds of other ads
I wish that this wish can't be corrupted and I wish that everyone could live happily ever after |
granted. thread's over guys, we can't spam here anymore.
i wish we could corrupt wishes normally again tho |
Wish granted - the thread's re-opened but... it seems your ability to disable it again has been removed???????
I really wish it wasn't 02:14 on a work night |
Granted! But now it's 02:18 on a work night ;)
I wish for no more pointless movie remakes. |
granted, all movie remakes will now have at least one person pointing at something at some point
i wish commuting anywhere was free and only took 10 seconds max |
Granted, but you lose an inch in height every time you travel!
I wish they wouldn't put chocolates I don't like in multi-box selections. |
Granted. The ones you don’t like aren’t in, but the ones you simply can’t stand are.
I wish I had more motivation to continue my Glazed comic. |
granted, but now glazed is so old that everyone started calling you grandfather!
I wish I was Captain America! and also got the shield and super-soldier serum! |
You get your wish but shortly after the US decides to rename itself. You miss that note and from here on out you're only called "Captain from a country previously known as America".
I wish I was more intelligent! |
Granted. Every second, you get smarter. Unfortunately, gaining so many facts so quickly ultimately results in your brain exploding sooner or later.
I wish I could share my plans for my Glazed comic online, and nobody will think they are spoilers. |
Granted but the plans are read by a rival creator and stolen before you can use them.
I wish I'd never heard "One" by Metallica |
Granted. You’ve never heard “One”, but you’ve heard “Two”, “Three”, and “Four”. All of them are the same as that song, but the song is played twice, thrice, and so on.
I wished I could memorise all my study notes. |
granted but you will forget them in exams, tests, etc and will remember them after they are done!
I wish I could work with chainsmokers, and c418 |
granted, you are now in an office filled with heavy cigarette-smoking individuals and 18 C4 dynamites all around.
i wish every single one of the rich would share their wealth equally with the rest of the world. |
Granted, but since every person has exactly the same amount of money, the world gets entangled into a massive guerrilla war where people fight for money. At the end money becomes useless and mankind goes into extinction because the food crops were destroyed, polluted, eaten by other animals, or filled with deadly land mines.
I wish for a cookie. |
here you go 🍪
I wish for infinite wishes |
granted. in exchange they all only have a 1/8192 chance of coming true.
i wish i always slept early so i could know what it's like to wake up at 6am fully refreshed... |
Quote:
Spoiler:
granted but you will get up when there will be 6 am at Moscow |
granted but... looks like you didn't wish for anything, so nothing happens.
I wish i had a portal gun |
granted you have a little kids portal gun
I wish I could bring back dinosaurs! |
Granted but they eat you!!!
I wish for 30+°C tomorrow |
Granted but the temperature and sun radiation keeps increasing until reaching drought-like levels. All the water around you starts boiling, including the water inside your body, so you die from suffocation and third-degree sunburns.
I wish i had a sun-powered car |
granted, but you now have a nightshift job.
i wish i had a drawing tablet right now |
Granted, but it comes without a pen
I wish my internet connection was better |
Granted. It goes so fast that it constantly loads into random pages before you react.
I wish tonights direct came out right now. |
granted, but your internet goes out as soon as it starts and will take 20 minutes to get up and running again.
i wish it weren't the weekend yet tomorrow. |
Granted, but you never have a weekend again!
I wish for movie studios to make some new movies, instead of ripping off stuff that isn't even that old. |
granted, but it's all randomly generated plots now. can't rip off something that doesn't make any sense now eh?
i wish phones didn't need charging and we could have a full battery always |
Granted but the magical phone fairy only gives those kinds of phones out to google employees.
I wish for a pokemon marvel crossover movie |
Granted but, Thanos snapped away half of the pokedex...oh wait Game Freak already did that
I wish that I was the best at everything |
granted, but it's all just surface level knowledge and skill and you can't ever really dedicate yourself to master one thing as a passion anymore.
i wish i always had perfect teeth |
Granted. You now have perfect teeth for drawing blood with, vampire Roni!
I wish I wasn't scared of heights |
Granted, but now you are stuck in a small building forever, and as a result are unable to experience the heights
I wish I could watch every MCU film for the first time again |
Granted but, your entire memory has been wiped and you have to relearn everything again
I wish that I could see the future... |
Granted, you can now only watch tv shows from Kiribati!
I wish I wasn't so lazy |
Granted but, now you're super hyper and can't sit still.
I wish that I was more efficient at getting things done |
granted, but now you have no more time or motivation to post here :c
i wish all my VPPs were shiny~ |
Granted, but they all only award negative points and can not be used for medals etc.
I wish I was depressed less often |
Granted - do I really have to corrupt this? - but now you can't feel anything 😔
I wish I could play all instruments! |
granted, but you can only manage one note on each one.
i wish everyone on PC averaged 80 posts per day. |
Granted, but now VPPs take 40,000 posts each :)
I wish I was less shy |
granted, but it's flipped the other way now and you're WAY too overconfident. people find you quite annoying lol.
i wish i was on 12% body fat right now |
Granted, but you also develop an uncontrollable craving for unhealthy food.
I wish life to be much easier. |
granted. you are now a rock. you've lost all sense of consciousness and life and just lay motionless there forever, without aim or purpose. can't get any easier than that.
i wish all my notebooks were water proof |
Granted. They are waterproof but not fireproof and the material is very sensitive to heat and burns up easily.
I wish nobody were serious. |
Granted, now the whole world is a joke
I wish the sun was always out |
Granted, now you're a vampire
I wish for a PC meetup irl :) |
Granted, but unfortunately you get an appointment that you're not allowed to miss so you can't be there.
I wish for a bottle of water! |
Granted, however all the water inside will evaporate the moment the bottle is opened.
I wish I could understand what animals say when they talk. |
granted but you can only listen to them while you are sleeping!
I wish I was captain america! |
granted, but sadly you don't get America's ass. can't have your cake and eat it too y'know?
i wish all English words only had a maximum of 5 letters per word. |
Granted, every word has a maximum of 5 letters. All those words that didn't fit are now taken as alternate meanings of shorter words. That means context now matters more than ever. Unfortunately, it has now become way more difficult to understand what people are trying to say.
I wish for a bigger place to store all my stuff. |
granted, but all your stuff individually double in size as well, so it's as if nothing ever really changed.
i wish the Earth was actually flat |
Granted. The corruption comes from the fact that the flat earthers were right, and we'll never hear the end of it.
I wish eevee had a dragon evolution |
Granted. But it is not cute!
I wish I could uncorrupt any wish I wanted! |
Granted. Wishes, however, are powered by a fourth wall. If the fourth wall is fucking destroyed, you can’t uncorrupt any more wishes, and unfortunately, guess what happened.
I wish I had more motivation to continue my Glazed comic. |
granted, but you need to be covered in donut glaze for the motivation to arrive, and it goes away if ever you wash it off.
i wish i had multiple guitars in my collection! |
Granted but, you can never play any of them
I wish the oceans were clean from pollution |
granted, all that pollution is transferred into lakes and waterfalls instead.
i wish everyone physically stops aging at 25. |
Granted, but they mental capacities decrease even faster now.
I wish for programming to be a lot less of a hassle. |
Granted but your programming skills become useless every second.
I wish that all people be relieved of their all pain and sufferings. |
Granted. Instead, the pain and suffereing goes into the earth’s crust instead, and- yeah I think we’ve seen enough destruction of the world outcomes on this thread.
I wish I could create my Glazed comic pages with my mind. |
Granted, but you can't get glaced donuts out of your mind and end up creating pages full of them.
Quote:
I wish I could grab time with my hand. |
Granted, but time is only an illusion created by human perception. What you perceive as time is really emptiness and it causes you to hallucinate.
I wish to see the resurrection of a wooly mammoth |
Granted, but it gets resurrected from within you à la Alien Chestburster style. So you do get to see it, but not for long.
I wish I had three more wishes. |
granted, but you need to speak in perfect Cantonese to have them granted without corruption.
i wish there weren't so many Squirtles in FG :p |
Granted, now we leveled up and the FG has an abundance of Wartortles
I wish to win 'Last one that posts' |
Granted, you "win" but it's only for 10 minutes. Tsutarja unlocks the thread and takes your victory, then relocks it.
I wish The Beatles had reunited before the passing of Lennon. |
Granted but, they don't sound nearly as good as before
I wish that every day was a good day |
Granted, but the definitions of good and bad switch.
I wish every pokémon was fused with a Squirtle. |
Granted but, now there's no more Squirtles in the Pokemon universe because they have all been fused with another mon
I wish for a pot of gold |
Granted, but neither the pot nor the gold can be moved from it's location.
I wish I never needed to buy new shoes. |
Granted but, all of your other clothes need to be replaced on a more regular basis
I wish money grew on trees |
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