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Granted. You may now go on restaurants and buy a nice raw egg in these trying times.
I wish I didn't have a cold. |
Granted, but you are now allergic to your computer.
I wish for a pizza. |
Granted, but its with anchovies, pineapple and lots and lots of.... Raisins!
this to me sounds gross, but hey, maybe you'll like it? I wish for a trip abroad. |
Granted, you start your flight before being told your plane must turn around.
I wish for non-stinky cheese |
Granted but it is not edible.
I wish I were a dragon irl. |
Granted, you are now a Komodo dragon....
I wish for a new lawnmower |
Granted, you get a hat with lawnmower blades on top. Now you only need to wear it and continuously drag on the cord to make them move.
I wish for anemones to grow on trees. |
Granted. They suck the tree dry of nutrients and then die because they can't get anymore.
The mass tree deaths create a global crisis. I wish my packages got delivered the same day I bought them. |
Granted, but they arrive all soggy and whatever is inside is broken!
I wish for another week off. |
Granted. But you get bored to death, and you start a new videogame. You enjoy it, and you decide you should stream it. You become a Twitch streamer, you become successful, and decide to quit your job. And the day after, Jeff Bezos wants to congratulate you because you become number 1 streamer in the world. Now he offers you to join Team Rocket, and you refuse, so he eventually bans you from Twitch, and you become unemployed.
So much in one week. I wish for more efficiency in my work. |
Granted, you are taken to a shady laboratory and wake up a Cyborg. You recover faster than anticipated, overpower the lab people and turn them into cyborgs too. You then pull people from the streets and nearby buildings on a daily basis to expand the CyberCooler Army, eventually converting the entire city!
The future looks bleak for normal humans. I wish for a swimming pool. |
Granted, you get a very large swimming pool, and all the related accomodation. You spend the best summer of your life, you do pool parties every other day with your friends, you become super popular.
But near your home is the embassy of Randomstan. They were hiding some diplomatic personality that the police of half of the whole world is looking for. One day, the embassy is attacked by some secret service agency, and the guy has to flee in order not to be caught. He runs accross multiple backyards, and finally ends up in yours. Unfortunately, he stumbles on an misplaced rock, and falls into your swimming pool. Unfortunately (bis), he cannot swim, and before you know it, he drowns and dies. His death is seen as a diplomatic incident, and Randomstan declares war on Netherlands. The USA and Europe join your country, while Russia and China become Randomstan's allies. World War 3 begins. All that because of a swimming pool. I wish I didn't need to change my clothes everyday. |
Granted, all your clothes are now gone.
I wish I could understand what all those scientific papers say. |
Granted. They all say "Buy a subscription on Elsevier for $999.99/month for the real paper"
I wish it weren't raining right now |
Granted, it is now dry and 58 degrees celsius. Have fun baking in the oven outside 😉
I wish for a new set of fancy clothes |
Granted. You turn into handsome squidward too.
Spoiler:
I wish for aliens to share knowledge with us |
Granted. They tell us how to make a top notch omelette and then go away.
I wish for a life time supply of candy. |
Granted, but your taste buds stop working for the rest of your life :(
I wish to have rhythm |
Granted, you now become a metronome.
I wish for a pensieve. |
Granted, the assorted magical governments obliviate you to complete catatonia though.
I wish I had a puppy. |
Here ya go:
Spoiler:
I wish I had a bottle of honey |
Granted, but it is fossilized honey and it contains trapped mosquitoes with blood of dinosaurs. You decide to found your own Cretaceous Park (because "Jurassic park" is copyrighted), with a wide variety of dinosaurs. Your park has success, and you become one of the richest human on the planet. You hang out with Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk, and sometimes you go out to party at Uncle Bill's palace. He hosted a very rich buffet with lots of expensive and tasty food from around the world. So many snacks to try! After three hours of an explosion of gustatory varieties, you try some Indian ginger sweets. It tastes spicy yet sweet. Too bad, you're allergic to ginger, and you finish the party at the hospital.
I know, when we're talking trapped mosquitoes, we're talking amber, but you can't deny it looks similar to honey. And I hate ginger sweets. I wish for a brownie. |
Granted, shame it has peanuts and you're allergic to them.
I wish I had Breath of the Wild |
Granted. Now a bear is panting near you, he is wild, and he breathes.
I wish to be a successful Twitch streamer. |
Congrats, you now have a twitch that makes your eyes blink every second whenever you're near a stream.
Such a twitchy streamer! I wish for someone to fix the gen 8 fossils |
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