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-   -   Showcase AH45's Fakemon - Dyzammuni evolutionary line (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=395771)

Alexherobrine45 June 18th, 2017 4:16 PM

AH45's Fakemon - Dyzammuni evolutionary line
 
3 Attachment(s)
I'll probably cover an entire evolutionary line in one post just so that we aren't flooded with posts like I am on DeviantArt.

The first one:
Dysaila, the Twin Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Steel
Ability: Tag Team (May attack twice in one turn, unless one of the Tag moves or a Z-Move is used.)
Base Stats: 68 HP / 55 Attack / 65 Defense / 60 Sp.Atk. / 45 Sp.Def. / 55 Speed (Total: 343)
Height: 1'8" / 0.5m
Weight: 69.7lbs / 31.6kg

The two Dysaila are bonded together - not physically, but mentally. They keep together because if either can't sense the other with their mind, both become stricken with pain.

The second one:
Dystaiku, the Twin Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Steel
Ability: Tag Team
Base Stats: 90 HP / 72 Attack / 85 Defense / 72 Sp.Atk. / 68 Sp.Def. / 85 Speed (Total: 472)
Height: 2'11"/0.9m
Weight: 119.7lbs/54 kg

Because Dystaiku's mind is stronger than Dysaila, they can be further apart, although they still share each other's pain. That never goes away. Dystaiku battle using powerful combo attacks from both of the pair.

The third one:
Dyzammuni, the Twin Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Steel
Ability: Tag Team
Base Stats: 103 HP / 99 Attack / 110 Defense / 89 Sp.Atk. / 85 Sp.Def. / 115 Speed
Height: 4'3" / 1.3m
Weight: 155lbs / 70.3kg

While Dyzammuni can move much more freely, they still stick together as habit. The pair's power is much greater when together as well.

Extra data:
Signature moves: The six Tag moves (Tag Spin, Tag Drill, Tag Flash, Tag Torch, Tag Line, Tag Gear -- I'm not covering all that crap here)
Evolutionary line:
Dysaila --(Level 32)--> Dystaiku --(Level 64)--> Dyzammuni

EDIT: Fixed to have better drawing quality and to fit Sunfished's recommendations, which are glaring problems. I think I fixed them.

Sunfished June 20th, 2017 9:12 PM

Welcome! I'll go straight ahead to critiquing.

Concept wise, I think the idea that two entities acting as one is pretty cool, something unlike the ones we normally see such as Dugtrio and Magneton. The Tag gimmick you gave them are also fairly unique, giving them more reason to utilize their co-op system.

However, beyond the concept, your design (as in the elements making up your art, not your art itself), doesn't give off the "feeling" of a Pokemon. Since it's easier to break it down, I'll list the things I see as things to improve on:
  • The changes between all 3 stages don't seem to do much. This gives it the problem fakemon designers are usually known for, which is the "it just gets bigger" syndrome. I'd recommend making each stage look independent, while connected. This is easier if you make the first stage have less features, and then as it evolves some parts become changed while some new parts are added. This ensures that you're never just adding onto the design, or just changing it to a completely different one either.
  • Despite being part Steel-type, I can't really pinpoint anything on their designs that helps me tell they're part Steel. The only Pokemon that I believe does this is Lucario, so unless you can explain it using Lucario's logic, I think you should bring out the Steel type in the design and make it more prominent. For suggestions, you can also add the Steel-typing in later evolutions. This could be useful with the first bullet point I listed, since it's another way you can add differences to your evolution stages.
  • Considering the body shape, I think it looks sort of generic. Since they look sort of like foxes, why not play around with shapes related to foxes? Like maybe more of an animalistic set of legs, or maybe give some definition to their arms. Usually, making them look simple is fine for smaller species, such as Meowstic, but once you have a bigger design the simplicity looks fairly awkward, as if they're just a giant doll-shaped monster.
In short, try utilizing more interesting shapes. You've already have a grasp on pattern design, (which is awesome by the way!), so I hope you'll at least consider the points I have above for your next endeavor.

Alexherobrine45 June 21st, 2017 4:10 AM

I'm working on it. Normally I wouldn't do something drastic because of one opinion, but I see exactly what you're talking about and it's a major problem with the set. I guess I liked the concept and so didn't concern myself with design so much. You say these look vulpine, so I think a pointier face is in order. As well as some color swaps, the entire evolutionary line was drawn terribly because I colored them in on three different days. I'll make Dysaila less complicated, Dystaiku slightly so, and Dyzammuni maybe a little more. I felt like redoing at least Dystaiku anyway, so thanks for giving me a reason to do all three!

I'll probably have these updated by the end of the day. Though since you seem to be either are a midnight forum surfer or in Europe it may not be Wednesday, June 21 when you see it.


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