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Greninja, use Water Shuriken! July 31st, 2018 5:32 AM

Mental health club
 
This club is for people with any type of mental health.
You can talk about your life and receive some support here. :)

I used to suffer from severe OCD and anxiety when I was 14 to 15. I used to have depression during when I was aged 13-15.

Rules.
1. Do not spam, please stay on topic
2. Do not bash or flame other members

Sheep July 31st, 2018 3:52 PM

hi there! I suffer from selective anxiety and definitely think this club is for me. Generally you can't tell I have anxiety, but there are certain situations that throw me into fits of stress and I'm very prone to panic under certain conditions. Anyone else have experience with anxiety? Any tips you use to get a handle on it? I know dunking your head in cold water for at least 15-20 seconds helps lower heart rate a lot when you're going through a panic attack...but luckily mine hasn't been that bad anymore (usually). =<

LadyJirachu August 1st, 2018 12:14 AM

I'm joining this club! Its a good idea

moon August 1st, 2018 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheep (Post 9908783)
hi there! I suffer from selective anxiety and definitely think this club is for me. Generally you can't tell I have anxiety, but there are certain situations that throw me into fits of stress and I'm very prone to panic under certain conditions. Anyone else have experience with anxiety? Any tips you use to get a handle on it? I know dunking your head in cold water for at least 15-20 seconds helps lower heart rate a lot when you're going through a panic attack...but luckily mine hasn't been that bad anymore (usually). =<

I'm basically the exact same... A couple of years ago I really couldn't handle my panic attacks. I really thought I would die etc. I'm also a tad bit hypochondric and that is a bad combo. I can get sick purely from worrying about getting sick, pretty much.

I found that the only thing that helped my attacks was to not be alone. As soon as it started, I called for my neighbor (classmate) to come and keep me company if I was at home, or I'd call my mom and she always picks up and understands and just talks to me cheerfully about nonsense to make me think of other things until it passes. Being alone with no proper distraction is the worst.

Nowadays I've forced myself to learn that when my heart rate quickens, a limb goes numb/prickling or starts hurting weirdly or I just can't keep feeling sad or worried, it's just my anxiety and I will beat it by enduring because I'm stronger than my anxiety.

Next time you have an attack, call me <3 I'll talk about my cats, Steven Universe and the color pink until you forget what you were worried about!

pkmin3033 August 1st, 2018 5:38 AM

I wouldn't mind being part of this, if that's OK.

Without going into too much detail, I have crippling anxiety that generally affects my ability to function properly...it's more or less shaped my identity I guess, as I've been like this since I was six years old, although it's shifted focus and intensity as I've gotten older. I have no friends, I still live at home, am stuck on benefits because I can't work enough to support myself due to my health, am severely underweight my appetite is always the first thing to go and the physical nausea utterly destroys me and it generally affects my mood...not that it excuses my general cynicism and bitterness towards life, but it's a major contributing factor. It's difficult to even want to live sometimes when every waking moment is anxiety. I could probably fit for a couple of other things, but I've never sought a diagnosis because I honestly thought I had enough to be getting on with, and knowing that I had it and couldn't change it wouldn't help...not to mention if I told my GP some of the thoughts I've had he'd probably want to put me back in therapy and I don't think I could take that. I have a great GP, but there are limits, and I definitely cross those boundaries with my thoughts sometimes.

But I think the only advice I'd offer, the one thing I've learned the hard way, is that if you're going to seek help, make sure it's the right help for you. You're an individual, not your mental health problem, and just because a prescribed method is said to work for a good portion of people does not mean it will work for you too, or that there is something else that will work better. Don't sell yourself short, and make sure you're comfortable with whatever treatment you get. Nobody should be able to force you to get better even if it's what you want and is in your best interests. You have to do things your own way. I see so many people who think they can just medication their problems away, or that therapy is the right answer...if it is, then good for you, y'know? But it doesn't always work and when it doesn't things generally feel even worse, so I guess my message is that it is OK if it doesn't work.

Speaking from painful experience there after nearly being sectioned, and subsequently forced into secondary care for four years, with fortnightly blood tests, weight checks, psychiatric assessments where I felt like I was constantly walking on a knife's edge, etc. These things do not always work. Know what isn't good for anxiety? CBT. People swear by CBT, but it can be utterly demoralising when you literally cannot do what you're being asked to. Because of CBT I was misdiagnosed with something that utterly consumed my life for four years, and is still giving me severe anxiety two and a half years later when I think about it. I was blamed for it not working, and I still kinda feel that way sometimes.

I have hypnotherapy sessions now and it's made me significantly calmer generally even if I can't resolve the problems I have yet. I couldn't work before I started it, at least, and I've gained half the weight I need to be at a healthy weight for someone of my height...although I'm on supplements because I can't get half the calories I need otherwise, and it's taken me six years to get to this point, with a lot still left to improve that isn't progressing because of the added stress of work and my general self-worth.

But I digress. I guess my point is that even if you share a diagnosis/label/whatever with people, you're still an individual and deserve to be treated as such, not a problem to be fixed with a prescribed solution. That's a stigma I've seen and experienced a lot, and one I don't think is particularly helpful when you're feeling fragile. So yeah. Don't listen to that kind of junk. Do what works for you and don't be ashamed if you can't do what should work.

Sorry for the babble. I don't generally like admitting I have a problem unless I already have a solution, and I have no solution to any of this. Honestly I may wind up deleting this, because it's unlike me to talk about myself this way. The last few weeks have been difficult and I'm emotionally drained to the point of complete apathy though, so why not. Maybe someone else could take away something positive from my experience too, which would be something.

Sheep August 1st, 2018 6:34 PM

@rika <3 I can relate soo much. Glad you're in a better place now! It'd be good for me to not be alone during attacks too, but only if it's with people I know well. And my attacks (which are thankfully more minor and don't last as long nowadays) happen when at work etc lol. While I have friends there, they're not people that know about my anxiety so it might get kinda embarrassing. I'll explain to them eventually.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dawn
Speaking from painful experience there after nearly being sectioned, and subsequently forced into secondary care for four years, with fortnightly blood tests, weight checks, psychiatric assessments where I felt like I was constantly walking on a knife's edge, etc. These things do not always work.

Completely agree...these methods are not for everyone, especially if it's to the point where you feel you're always being watched and need to act a certain way to avoid 'punishments.' I know someone who went to therapy for a while and started getting depressed at some sessions. The police ended up forcing him to a hospital thinking he'd do something drastic. Now he's got a bunch of medical bills (yay America) that they're often hounding him to pay, which he has tried to explain he can't do since he can't hold down a job because of anxiety/depression. =s Alas they don't seem to care at all. Totally the kind of thing an already depressed and stressed person would want to be worrying about.

PhoenixIgnition August 1st, 2018 9:22 PM

Thank you for this thread.

I have PDD(persistent depressive disorder, aka Dysthymia) and generalized anxiety disorder.
I live on national insurance money(not sure if that's how it's called in english but you probably get what I mean).
Currently unemployed and live in a tiny rented appartment with my cat.

I generally feel very hopeless and afraid.
I try to focus on my hobbies, but even that is hard when your mind works overtime thinking about how nothing is worth the effort and that you're not gonna amount to anything no matter how hard you try.

I know every single flaw in my depressive and anxious thought patterns, but have yet to find a way to combat them successfully.

I've been seeing a therapist for a about five years I think, and I get help from a tutor and social worker.

I long for friendships and love, and to be around people who genuinely like me and want to be around me, but I'm also deathly scared of it. It might be due to having my only best friend move out from my town when I was in 3rd grade and totally losing that relationship.

I also have a hard time letting people in because I very much hate myself. I genuinely feel it's a chore to be around me. I think i'm boring, too sad, too depressed and too tired for people to enjoy my company most of the time.

I have a very hard time making any kind of long lasting relationships.
I had one serious girlfriend for around three months but our relationship was very lifeless and sad due to both of us being in bad places mentally, and both of us having a desire that the other one will be our anchor in these tough times, while neither of us were able to do that at the time.

Greninja, use Water Shuriken! August 5th, 2018 11:36 AM

Welcome to the club everyone who has posted.

Sheep August 6th, 2018 7:58 AM

welcome all ^^

Quote:

I long for friendships and love, and to be around people who genuinely like me and want to be around me, but I'm also deathly scared of it. It might be due to having my only best friend move out from my town when I was in 3rd grade and totally losing that relationship.
There are always plenty of people out there that are accepting and will be friends with you, so don't worry. Once you meet the people who are worth it, you won't be so scared anymore. I hope things will only keep improving for you from here <3

Greninja, use Water Shuriken! August 6th, 2018 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhoenixIgnition (Post 9909366)
Thank you for this thread.

I long for friendships and love, and to be around people who genuinely like me and want to be around me, but I'm also deathly scared of it. It might be due to having my only best friend move out from my town when I was in 3rd grade and totally losing that relationship.

I hope everything goes well for you.
I will be your friend

Sheep August 13th, 2018 5:03 PM

Hope everyone has been faring okay. I've not had my anxiety triggered much lately and when I have it wasn't for long, so I'm thankful. Still working on improving some things it prevents me from doing though, like voice chatting online with friends or meeting new groups of people. The latter isn't too hard but the former...urgh. ='(

Miss Wendighost August 14th, 2018 12:14 PM

Hi there. I have ASD/Asperger's along with anxiety. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life which I think is helping, especially with me starting college soon.

moon August 15th, 2018 7:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhoenixIgnition (Post 9909366)
Thank you for this thread.

We'll all be friends in this thread. I have cats in my apartment too! Love them so much; I swear having them around has helped tone down my anxiety by a lot. I haven't gotten panic attacks in my home since I got them.

PhoenixIgnition August 15th, 2018 8:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adventure (Post 9914186)
We'll all be friends in this thread. I have cats in my apartment too! Love them so much; I swear having them around has helped tone down my anxiety by a lot. I haven't gotten panic attacks in my home since I got them.

I don't really know how to be friends with people, tbh. It's a skill I never really developed.

Cats are awesome.
Mine is an asshole, but I still love him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGhostHunter (Post 9913946)
Hi there. I have ASD/Asperger's along with anxiety. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life which I think is helping, especially with me starting college soon.

DUUUUDE! That's huge!
Good luck in college!

Ho-Oh August 30th, 2018 11:56 PM

Bump, imma join!

Anxiety here is my major but currently going through a bit of depression as well which is making life haaaard af.

For me anxiety is like... stress constantly and sometimes I can trigger these panic attacks which usually go for four hours of me feeling SICK af and don't really stop unless I drink a lot of water or sleep. Good news is it's usually at night though... which makes sense. Night as a whole kinda gives me anxiety tbh. :/

The thing that helps me the most is probably... Pokemon Go (reading) & Big Bang Theory (watching).

What about you guys? Is there like a show you guys like to watch to help?

pkmin3033 August 31st, 2018 9:28 AM

I play Warriors games when I'm stressed...they're easy to play and yield very satisfying results with minimal effort. I don't really have anything I can watch, though - I'm not interested in anime anymore, and as much as I love Grimm I don't want to binge watch it because finding another show I enjoy as much as it will be difficult.

I could really use a new one right now though, because I'm shutting down an awful lot. Things I used to enjoy hold very little pleasure for me, sleep is difficult and I am frequently waking up with crippling headaches (and I really need to stop taking painkillers; I've been taking 1-2 a day for about three years now...) and my appetite...well, I'm not looking forward to my monthly checkup on Monday.

pastelspectre August 31st, 2018 9:38 AM

hello i am gonna join if that's okay. i have major depressive disorder and have had it for as long as i can remember. for me, that's 13. it's hard to remember stuff from my childhood. i suspect i might've went through some sort of trauma or something as a child (maybe my parent's horrid relationship?) but i really honestly can't remember. it's very fuzzy. i also have general anxiety disorder and social anxiety (2 separate diagnoses) and..if it's okay to bring up, i am also a recovering self harmer. it's hard sometimes.

ive managed to get my mental illnesses under control for the most part without a therapist or medicine (ive been without these about a year or so now because of no insurance) but i do wish to see a therapist again once i get on my moms work insurance. that would be nice. i am in college though and it does get really hard sometimes but..i manage. i am also unemployed because my mental state cannot handle both work and school. i am looking to get into maybe getting some sort of disability as income?

anyways yeah that's me i guess. sorry for all this weird general info.

Sheep August 31st, 2018 5:21 PM

Quote:

Night as a whole kinda gives me anxiety tbh. :/
I understand this. It seems like that's the case for me too. =s Nothing helps me much personally, seems like once I'm feeling anxious the feeling just won't go away since my mind overly concentrates on it...I'd just need to sleep it away. I'm really happy I managed to find good over-the-counter meds that actually work for me, going to a mental health doctor is still something I don't feel ready for yet.

pkmin3033 September 1st, 2018 7:50 AM

Specialists are...hit-or-miss, I've found. They can help you organise your thoughts and make sense of things, or they make you feel much worse, depending on their chosen methodology and the rapport you build...if you build it. If they bother. I didn't seek hypnotherapy for a couple of years after I was discharged from secondary care...I didn't leave the house or speak to anyone besides my parents or my doctor for six months after that. It was that bad for me. But I have a lot of trust in my GP. So yeah, hit-and-miss I think.

Don't let the possibility of failure dissuade you if you ever feel like talking to someone else may help, but at the same time...be careful. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, and there is this tendency to be boxed in by labels, whether they fit or not.

I feel like there is too much we don't know about the mind for there to be a general methodology, honestly. Mental illness is not as simple as physical illness, and some of the books I've read - even on those more open to interpretation, like mindfulness practices - try too hard to take a one-size-fits-all approach, with very subtle but definite blame placed to you if it doesn't work for you: you're not "doing it right" or you have a reason that you DON'T want it work that you're not aware of, or something like that. It's never the fault of the practice.

Would that it were as simple as just taking some form of medication or doing some exercise to remove these things >.>

Sothis September 2nd, 2018 5:13 PM

Hey! I have a few conditions actually.
My over all condition started to deteriorate when I was just 12, from years of harsh bullying and severe neglect from my family. I've never had any friends, like at all, this is not an exaggeration.
I've had people, peers and adults, since I was a little kid, threaten me, hit me, manipulate me, humiliate me and my life has been threatened before.
Like I mean parents of kids I went to school with started hurtful rumors about my family and I. It was awful but we couldn't afford to move.

I have been bullied and abused all my life and still am being. I have PTSD and borderline personality disorder from my abuse, along with severe anxiety and depression and I'm autistic.
Even in college, actual professors kicked me from their program because they did not want an autistic student, no one did anything because they had a good reputation.
And now my step father is horrible to my mother and I, he threatens us a lot, tries to make us believe we owe him, demands money and other things from us.

I feel like I don't get a break really. Sorry if this is long.

Sheep September 6th, 2018 6:22 PM

Quote:

But I have a lot of trust in my GP.
This can make a huge difference in your mental state. I'm glad it's the case and hope you can continue seeing him/her =)

Mary that makes me so sad just to read )): So sorry this has happened to you. If you feel ok talking about it, is your mother going to deal with stepdad despite how he's behaving towards you? Definitely not a good thing for someone with mental health issues....or anyone at all.....

mikey September 14th, 2018 4:39 PM

I've struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life.

My anxiety is mostly social. I have a hard time meeting new people and building relationships because of it. It really sucks, because there are so many times where I want to be friends with certain people but my anxiety gets in the way and prevents me from striking up a convo with them. I've had panic attacks from certain social situations, such as meeting a group of new people at one time instead of like 2 which I find easier. My skin gets blotchy and red when I am really anxious, but luckily that doesn't always happen.

I've always had a profound sadness that I could never explain or find the cause of. I could be having a great day and be in a good mood, but then all of a sudden feel sad and even feel like crying. Like today for example was a pretty good day, but right now I am feeling depressed and lonely.

But yeah. Thought I would come here and join.

pastelspectre September 14th, 2018 5:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toshiro. (Post 9926016)
I've struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life.

My anxiety is mostly social. I have a hard time meeting new people and building relationships because of it. It really sucks, because there are so many times where I want to be friends with certain people but my anxiety gets in the way and prevents me from striking up a convo with them. I've had panic attacks from certain social situations, such as meeting a group of new people at one time instead of like 2 which I find easier. My skin gets blotchy and red when I am really anxious, but luckily that doesn't always happen.

I've always had a profound sadness that I could never explain or find the cause of. I could be having a great day and be in a good mood, but then all of a sudden feel sad and even feel like crying. Like today for example was a pretty good day, but right now I am feeling depressed and lonely.

But yeah. Thought I would come here and join.

can relate. i have no local friends cause of my social anxiety :/ i hope things get better for you though.

Sheep September 14th, 2018 5:30 PM

I'm sorry guys. Anxiety is really rough but it should never define us, so don't let it delude you into thinking that's all you're made up of. I'm sure you'll find more people and situations that don't make you so uncomfortable. They are always out there! It's okay to not be very social.

But yeah, it's the same for me. Part of the reason I've not met many PC members yet (despite having plenty of opportunities to) was because I get panicky and afraid. My heart rate will skyrocket and I become afraid of how they'll see me once we meet. It's silly and irrational, but alas...the brain loves to think stupid things.

mikey September 15th, 2018 4:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoshiko (Post 9926026)
can relate. i have no local friends cause of my social anxiety :/ i hope things get better for you though.

Thank you, I appreciate that and hope the same for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheep (Post 9926035)
But yeah, it's the same for me. Part of the reason I've not met many PC members yet (despite having plenty of opportunities to) was because I get panicky and afraid. My heart rate will skyrocket and I become afraid of how they'll see me once we meet. It's silly and irrational, but alas...the brain loves to think stupid things.

Same here with meeting PC members. I've had opportunities but get so nervous ;-;

Sothis September 15th, 2018 10:07 PM

I don't have friends because I have too many issues to be worth the hassle to people.
I've seriously been told that before.

VisionofMilotic September 17th, 2018 6:58 PM

Even though I do have mentall illness I had not expected to join this club, however tonight I have been afflicted with such melancholy that it has led me here. My primary issue is anxiety and I take Zoloft for that. Sometimes I feel filled with such nervous anxiety that I want to scream, even in the comfort of my home I find myself pacing aimlessly. Sometimes I dread leaving my house and find excuses not to. I'm becoming more reclusive and worried about being judged by others. My confidence is fledgling. I used to live in an apartment complex and sometimes hearing others talk in the hall would make me break in a cold sweat and freeze in place. I would not be able to cross the hallway. I just did not want to be seen.

I take failure hard and embarrass easily, and my expectation of rejection often stops me from moving forward in life, getting a job I'd really like for instance. I'm stagnant. This creates a vicious cycle of greater shame, and right now I feel hopeless.

I try to be polite and considerate to others, but at the same time intimacy and familiarity can scare me and cause me to distance myself. I'm quite shy. I can't even take a compliment well without blushing terribly.

However, tonight I am feeling more depressed than anxious, almost dead inside. I feel wasted as if my whole life has been wasted and I will never proceed past this point. I can't talk to anyone I know right now though my my inbox sits full of unreplied messages from loving friends and boyfriend. I don't even feel like talking to my family who would do anything for me. I just feel flat. I guess despair. Not upset crying just indifferent like I could go to sleep and never wake back up. I lay right now in bed listening to dark music, some Emilie Autumn, and just wallow in it. I don't even care about being happy right now. I feel so tired and lethargic in fact I often do. I just can't concentrate on anything and I let myself go. I also have issues with nightmares, and when I have a particuarly bad dream like I did last night it sometimes sets the tone for the whole day.

VisionofMilotic December 4th, 2018 6:07 AM

Its been awhile since I posted here. Things are better than they were at the time of my last post. Part of the reason for the troubles I experienced was an unhappy relationship that I wanted to escape from, but I could not say so publicly at the time. I am moving into a good place, a career I'm excited about, surrounded by amazing friends, getting closer to my dad, a new pet in the home. Its a very fun time of year right now with the holidays around. Yet, this morning has not been good, though overall my life is on a great path.

I have had trouble sleeping for awhile. Having to survive on such little sleep, and experiencing nightmares it seems every brief instant that I do sleep, has led to me feeling haunted throughout the remains of the day. I was beyond startled when I woke up before dawn. It was a paralyzing fear that has lasted for hours. I felt so stiff and awash in dread that it felt like I was having a heart attack. It was a feeling of horror that went deep into my bones. As the day goes on, I still feel fearful, but the overwhelming feeling is despair now, pain. I struggle to find the exact word, but I think it is anguish.

Not to mention I am having physical pain right now too because of the tense way I slept. My back has ached all day and night. I will probably have to reach for pills, but dread the outcome of that as well, expecting chest pain and the experience of the lining in my stomach being worn away from the higher strength ibuprofen. I had been having trouble with my chest and legs these last few weeks anyway, and am not happy to entertain some potential additional side effects. Right now I just want to not move, and simply wallow in self-pity. I don't even care about feeling happy, it is so morbid. There are things I might do that could cheer me up. Yet, I choose despair...

mikey January 3rd, 2019 7:01 PM

Had a very bad mental health day today.

Wanted to stop by here to see how everyone is doing. Hope you are all doing well and if you ever need to vent I would gladly listen!

LadyJirachu January 4th, 2019 2:48 AM

Thanks to my ocd and aspergers, i've been having a hard time starting my new white 2 game o_O; i'm not even really sure why....(but i've been trying to find ways to get past this block cuz its causing anxiety for me and ruining pokemon a bit for me now)

I'm on several meds for my synthums (have been for awhile), they seem to help me with stuff like ocd a bit (i'd probably be unable to cope at all without them).

I started taking some algea suppliment to help with my white 2 blockage issue. It does seem its working now, cuz i have huge plans on starting my new game today^^

Also, i try to do whatever i can to calm my nerves overall everyday in other ways too (eat calming foods, drink a lot of milk and tea, look at soothing pastel colors, play generally pretty relaxing types of games on the computer, computer gaming a lot in general actually seems to help me a bit, try not to go on forums too often *they can trigger anxiety in me a bit...*, color in my adult coloring books, stuff like that. trying to look at life issues of mine more optimisticly also helps me calm down more^^ *and korrina helps me with my optimism skills :3 she's been known to help me learn to worry less time to time too. its not exactly perfectly helping me, sometimes she can even be a real anxiety trigger, but i still feel a sense of real comfort knowing that she's in my life 'cuz i love her a lot and feel really attached to her and i don't think trying to change that at all would help me in the long run.*).

lillipup03 January 5th, 2019 2:57 PM

Just discovered this thread, and figured I’d join and share my story.

So growing up, my life was actually pretty good. I had friends and people to spend time with, and I didn’t live in a constant fear of not having anyone to talk to. But in seventh grade, everything changed. Things started out okay, and I became a manager for our basketball team. Even though I was physically nowhere near as good at basketball as them, they were really nice to me and everything seemed to be okay.

But that February... on a day we had off due to weather, two team members were part of a car crash. One of them didn’t make it. And even though one single event like that may not seem like something big enough to trigger a mental illness... it shook me, and I lost many skills that I had. I became unable to talk to people I didn’t know already. I lost all motivation to do anything. And it certainly didn’t help that the guy who car-pooled me and some friends to school everyday verbally harassed me, and said ridiculous things like, “No, you don’t have depression. You’re just sad.” as if he knew what was going on inside me.

So yeah, my life pretty much took a downward spiral once I was 12/13 and I still haven’t rebounded. I’m working to fight against my “demons” and keep control of my illnesses. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, astraphobia (fear of thunderstorms; this has to do with another traumatic experience) and aspergers.

Hopefully everyone is doing okay right now. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it. :smile:

Sheep January 5th, 2019 5:06 PM

I take a supplement that helps tremendously with anxiety (and apparently depression also!), which I honestly don't think I'd be able to live without. Luckily it's not something I need a prescription for and I continue to be thankful for that since I get anxiety about seeing a mental health doctor because it means I'll be admitting it's serious enough for me to need to go. :s Last time I briefly went to a psychologist I sat there in total shame feeling out of place and could hardly make eye contact with anyone. It was awful. Avoidance is an absolutely awful way to combat these things though, so I'll do my best to face my fears as time goes on.

@Eric: Time will heal your wounds. But if not, remember that this it is totally okay to feel the way you do, and you're not alone. I'm really sorry to hear about what happened. =(

starseed galaxy auticorn January 6th, 2019 12:11 PM

I suffer from extremely severe anxiety... does that count? o.o I'm pretty sure it does. Here's my story...

My name is Kimi. I'm 30 years old, and I have extremely severe anxiety. It started or worsened after I graduated high school. I found myself dealing with a lot of stress at times. I also think that bottling everything up contributed to my mental decline (My advice? Don't bottle things up!). Anyway, as it got worse and worse, I discovered that my mind was quickly going into a mode of depression. I found it so difficult to do any of the things I loved most such as writing. I often self-harmed because my emotions were far too overwhelming. Self-harming seemed like the only way for me to push away the emotional overload and bad thoughts in my mind. That, and music also seemed to make things better... but I couldn't listen to it ALL the time. Then, someone online, an ex-friend with Asperger Syndrome and bad anxiety like mine, told me about the abilify she took and how it helped her. I decided to talk to my psychiatrist (at the time) about taking it and what was happening. He put me on it, and everything has been pretty good for me so far. I still get random bouts of anxiety a lot, but it's much easier to handle with other anxiety meds.

The problem for me too, is that many health professionals have told me that my anxiety is due to my autism. I don't believe this to be true because my anxiety would be far worse without the meds I take for it. I just don't agree with them. My greatest struggle is being able to express what goes on inside my mind a lot. Even with written expression, which I'm pretty good at... as you can see, is limited on what I can explain to them. They just can't seem to understand how horribly disabling my anxiety can get for me. :c

Oh, and I also have slight social anxiety disorder. I worry a lot about what people will think if I try to talk to them. I get easily paranoid about hitting others up for a chat. Like, I just start thinking that they may not like me... or they'll ignore me or think I'm super weird or something. It probably has more to do with my autism than my general anxiety... but yeah.

So yeah... that's my story! :3

lillipup03 January 6th, 2019 4:15 PM

Welcome, and thanks for sharing!

I struggle with the same thing of being super afraid to start conversations, at some points I’m too afraid to talk to people I’ve been friends with since we were little. I’d type a text up, then delete it because I was afraid they’d think I was really weird and annoying.

starseed galaxy auticorn January 6th, 2019 7:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lillipup03 (Post 9965274)
Welcome, and thanks for sharing!

I struggle with the same thing of being super afraid to start conversations, at some points I’m too afraid to talk to people I’ve been friends with since we were little. I’d type a text up, then delete it because I was afraid they’d think I was really weird and annoying.

Yeah, I do that a lot... even if I'm good friends with the person. I'm always terrified of them judging me, despite knowing they probably won't... if that makes sense?

Fairy January 7th, 2019 4:08 PM

Welp, probably time I signed up for this.

I suffer from severe anxiety (non-social), somatic symptom disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and addiction.

Aslan January 12th, 2019 8:07 PM

Hello o/ Moderate clinical depression and severe hypochondria here - have had depression for about 3 years and hypochondria for about 7.

With depression, I experience apathy and emotional numbness more so than actual sadness. I feel a lot better when I'm socializing and around other people but when left with my thoughts, I often feel completely numb. I also tend to zone out a lot and live on autopilot if that makes sense. Depression has impacted my energy, interest and drive in life in general. It has been trial and error trying to find the most appropriate coping mechanisms, but I'm getting there. It's difficult to open up about because a lot of people see me as naturally cheerful and whilst I did feel that way years ago, its harder for me to maintain the same demeanour. Still I've become used to separating how I'm actually feeling vs. what people see me as, which is concerning. I know it shouldn't be like that and that's why I'm going to try to reorganise therapy soon, because it's difficult trying to keep a lot of my real emotions hidden.

I have had hypochondria since the 5th grade due to a life changing incident. I find that even fixating about a disease can lead to me developing psychosomatic symptoms from anxiety, which has led to a lot of trouble regarding medical tests, scares (like thinking I had appendicitis or lung disease which the doctor once suggested, had to run tests for and was a very scary incident in my life). Does not help that some tests have led to finding actual medical conditions which is good in the sense that I can get treatment, but also bad in that it plays up my anxiety in if there's something wrong with me that I haven't had diagnosed. Mental illness is exhausting and incredibly difficult to go through, but if there's one thing I can take pride in from all of this is that I'm taking it slowly and doing my best to recover. Hasn't been easy but it's getting better, slowly. :D

Sheep January 12th, 2019 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdorbzFangirl
I still get random bouts of anxiety a lot, but it's much easier to handle with other anxiety meds.

I'm really glad the medication helped. You're a bright and fun girl who deserves to feel comfortable in her own shoes and around others. You seem quite positive and understanding overall too, which will help with combating those negative moments. Keep fighting on!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairy
I suffer from severe anxiety (non-social), somatic symptom disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and addiction.

Jo, you are without a doubt one of the strongest people I know for being able to push forward and continue living life happily despite all you've been through.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aslan
It's difficult to open up about because a lot of people see me as naturally cheerful and whilst I did feel that way years ago, its harder for me to maintain the same demeanour. Still I've become used to separating how I'm actually feeling vs. what people see me as, which is concerning.

Completely understand this too. :< We're very similar. But life is so insanely unpredictable and I'm sure things will turn around for you eventually, and you're smart and sweet enough for good karma to come your way at some point, even if it does take a bit. Fight on Sophie. <3

Aslan January 13th, 2019 1:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lillipup03 (Post 9965274)
I struggle with the same thing of being super afraid to start conversations, at some points I’m too afraid to talk to people I’ve been friends with since we were little. I’d type a text up, then delete it because I was afraid they’d think I was really weird and annoying.

Edit: I just realised that I might have misread into this and that it's about social anxiety in general so I apologise for that but I'll leave in the next part since I feel like it's important to talk about!

Just wanted to add in that you're not alone on this feeling! I hid my depression for almost half a year before I told any of my friends because I was so scared that they would judge me or see me differently. I've always had the mindset that I can't burden others and that leads to me being destructively self-sacrificing in a sense - I always want to extend help but never accept any in return which frustrated one of my friends. It's so difficult to reach out but trust me when I say that if they're your real friends then they will be supportive and want to know if there's something wrong. And in the unfortunate incident they have a negative reaction then at least you know it isn't a friendship that would not have worked well in the long term. However if you feel like you're not comfortable with opening up yet then that's also completely understandable, but I hope that at least writing it out even if you don't press send is somewhat helpful - I do that sometimes and it does make me feel a little better.

As a sidenote, I've found that it's been hard finding a balance between coping with depression / anxiety alone and opening up to people. I always feel like I've overshared or talked too much which then leads to me bottling it up and not talking about it for an extended period of time. Also I find that sometimes I just can't explain what's wrong which just leads to me feeling like I'm wasting someone's time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheep (Post 9967301)
Spoiler:
I'm really glad the medication helped. You're a bright and fun girl who deserves to feel comfortable in her own shoes and around others. You seem quite positive and understanding overall too, which will help with combating those negative moments. Keep fighting on!



Jo, you are without a doubt one of the strongest people I know for being able to push forward and continue living life happily despite all you've been through.



Completely understand this too. :< We're very similar. But life is so insanely unpredictable and I'm sure things will turn around for you eventually, and you're smart and sweet enough for good karma to come your way at some point, even if it does take a bit. Fight on Sophie. <3

Janna you're one of the sweetest people I know, this made my day thank you <3 I hope you too stay strong and keep fighting, and that you overcome this because you also deserve so, so much good karma. It's never good to barricade our emotions for too long though. I strongly hope that you have people in your life you can turn to and feel confident in confiding to. If not (and this goes to anyone else here as well) then by all means go ahead and PM me and I will be happy to listen or if you prefer, just talk about whatever you want. Sending lots of love to everyone and hoping you all have a good day, if not then I'm sure there will be brighter ones in the future even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Can speak from personal experience.

Just wanted to share one last thing that I have found helpful with my anxiety - not sure if It will work or if it's an obvious thing (in which case oops) but I've found that with intrusive, anxious thoughts - it's much better to let your mind have the thought but drift rather than to obsess over the fact that you must stop thinking about it if that makes sense. For example with hypochondria I sometimes have thoughts such as 'What if I have XYZ disease they mentioned on the news?' and then the thought ends up getting stuck strongly in my head because I keep trying to tell myself 'don't think about that' which just sends me into a loop of fixating on how I haven't got the thought out of my brain yet. But what I find more helpful is instead of giving attention to the thought I just let it go on in my head and instead try to let my mind drift - if the thought pops up then I don't deliberately try to banish it rather I just like to imagine things such as clouds passing by or go about and do other things till it just goes away on it's own. Not a surefire method but one that has helped a lot for me. Sorry if I explained it poorly but thought I'd share!

pastelspectre January 13th, 2019 6:40 PM

i don't know if we are allowed to vent here but if i am not just delete this post

so lately..well not lately, but more so recently, my mom and sister have been pushing me to get a job and whatnot despite me being a full time college student and that taking a huge toll on my mental health. sure i only go two days this semester and i have a lot of free time on the weekends because i do not have a social life, but.. them sort of lowkey insulting me and feeling like they're not proud of me no matter what i do really takes a blow to my mental health.

i've told them many times that i cannot handle both a school and a job, and they almost always end up comparing me to my big sister who is going to be 25 this year because she could do many days of school and work, but i wish they would realize different people have different levels of what they are able to handle. i do help around the house and sure they might seem like small chores (taking the dog out, washing dishes, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, putting clean dishes up, etc etc) those are a lot to me since my depression sometimes gets so bad i do not want to get out of bed.

they want me to get a summer job, but i am not sure what i would do. i was thinking something under the table like dog walking or babysitting or something if possible. i do not think i could handle fast food (i get overwhelmed by too many things being thrown at me at once and i tend to break down and i often have to have things written down for me to remember it) and i am unsure of retail. but anyways. i just feel like nothing i do is good enough for them, and i just.. am at my limit. i want to save up money for when i move in with my boyfriend eventually, but i dont know if i am approved for disability yet.

i was thinking of getting some sort of job (depending on how much i get from disability if i am approved), after i finish community college so i can start saving up for moving to where my boyfriend is and getting an apartment of some sort with him. but..anyways, my point. i am just really tired of not feeling like anything i do is good enough for them. i don't know what to do. my sister often ridicules me (my little sister) because i do not act my age, but i can't help that i am emotionally stunted in some ways because of trauma and other things during my childhood.

sorry this is just a huge rant thats all over the place. if anyone takes the time to reply i appreciate it. please be considerate of my feelings when replying.

Fairy January 15th, 2019 6:49 PM

I don’t fully understand your situation hoshiko but I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to vent here with us. Expressing these fears and working through them will no doubt help you resolve these issues. Best to you and yours. <33

Also thank you, Janna. You’re an angel. xoxo

kantokraze January 16th, 2019 9:01 PM

hello, everyone! glad there's a good club like this to vent where other people understand xx

I've been diagnosed with a few things over the years, including PTSD, major depressive disorder, GAD, & POTS. (Although POTS isn't strictly a mental disorder its pretty damning to my other mental health factors..) Almost two years ago I got my service dog, Midna, and she's been such a blessing to have in my life. Although I've been through hell and back, even though it's still hard right now, I'm hopeful for the future.

We've got this !!

Miss Wendighost January 18th, 2019 8:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kantokraze (Post 9968749)
hello, everyone! glad there's a good club like this to vent where other people understand xx

I've been diagnosed with a few things over the years, including PTSD, major depressive disorder, GAD, & POTS. (Although POTS isn't strictly a mental disorder its pretty damning to my other mental health factors..) Almost two years ago I got my service dog, Midna, and she's been such a blessing to have in my life. Although I've been through hell and back, even though it's still hard right now, I'm hopeful for the future.

We've got this !!

Dang. It must be terrifiying to live with these disorders, but I'm glad that you have a Service Dog to help you with it. How has she been doing?

Fairy January 19th, 2019 3:09 AM

Puppy pics please! :D

Also Midna is a wonderful name for a service dog. You sound like a very brave soul. <3

Greninja, use Water Shuriken! January 19th, 2019 4:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lillipup03 (Post 9965274)
Welcome, and thanks for sharing!

I struggle with the same thing of being super afraid to start conversations, at some points I’m too afraid to talk to people I’ve been friends with since we were little. I’d type a text up, then delete it because I was afraid they’d think I was really weird and annoying.

I hope things get better for you! I used to be too afraid to start up conversations too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairy (Post 9965649)
Welp, probably time I signed up for this.

I suffer from severe anxiety (non-social), somatic symptom disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and addiction.

I agree with what Fairy replied to you with. Jo, you are one of the strongest people I know and one of the strongest people on Pokecommunity. You are so nice and friendly, despite all the stuff you've had to face. You are awesome and amazing, Jo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoshiko (Post 9967643)
i don't know if we are allowed to vent here but if i am not just delete this post

so lately..well not lately, but more so recently, my mom and sister have been pushing me to get a job and whatnot despite me being a full time college student and that taking a huge toll on my mental health. sure i only go two days this semester and i have a lot of free time on the weekends because i do not have a social life, but.. them sort of lowkey insulting me and feeling like they're not proud of me no matter what i do really takes a blow to my mental health.

i've told them many times that i cannot handle both a school and a job, and they almost always end up comparing me to my big sister who is going to be 25 this year because she could do many days of school and work, but i wish they would realize different people have different levels of what they are able to handle. i do help around the house and sure they might seem like small chores (taking the dog out, washing dishes, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, putting clean dishes up, etc etc) those are a lot to me since my depression sometimes gets so bad i do not want to get out of bed.

they want me to get a summer job, but i am not sure what i would do. i was thinking something under the table like dog walking or babysitting or something if possible. i do not think i could handle fast food (i get overwhelmed by too many things being thrown at me at once and i tend to break down and i often have to have things written down for me to remember it) and i am unsure of retail. but anyways. i just feel like nothing i do is good enough for them, and i just.. am at my limit. i want to save up money for when i move in with my boyfriend eventually, but i dont know if i am approved for disability yet.

i was thinking of getting some sort of job (depending on how much i get from disability if i am approved), after i finish community college so i can start saving up for moving to where my boyfriend is and getting an apartment of some sort with him. but..anyways, my point. i am just really tired of not feeling like anything i do is good enough for them. i don't know what to do. my sister often ridicules me (my little sister) because i do not act my age, but i can't help that i am emotionally stunted in some ways because of trauma and other things during my childhood.

sorry this is just a huge rant thats all over the place. if anyone takes the time to reply i appreciate it. please be considerate of my feelings when replying.

Hi! It's fine to vent here. I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to vent here with all of us. Expressing and talking about those fears will help resolve the issues. I hope everything goes well for you.

Rainbow-Starlight January 19th, 2019 8:14 PM

I am so joining this club! I have a lot to say about this topic, and I also love to write (and I have written about it loads and continue to write about it), so my posts in this thread may end up being rather long. This is a topic I’m very interested in and passionate about, as weird as that might sound.
I’ve been diagnosed with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I almost certainly (though I honestly do not know if I’ve been diagnosed with it yet; they won’t tell me) have bipolar. I have depressive and manic episodes that severely effect my life, so yeah, there’s that.

My anxiety is so bad that it was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia for years, because my OCD thoughts tend to resemble delusions (my current psychiatrist says that my OCD reached “psychotic levels”). It makes sense too, since in the past my anxiety took over my whole life and made me afraid to even have windows uncovered because I thought the people driving by my house were watching me and reporting what I did to the government. That was just one example of the types of things I used to worry about.
Thankfully, though I do still struggle a lot, I’m worlds away from where I was back in 2011-2013. I live with my parents, who are divorced (they live in separate places, but they’re close by and they still work together at my dad’s small business), and I’m a high school dropout (I tried to get help at school but they didn’t take my anxiety and depression seriously enough near the end, which, among other things, led to me simply being unable to handle going to school anymore) and have never been able to work a real job (and still can’t). I still have much less anxiety than I used to, thanks to therapy, medication, and other things.

I’ve been hospitalized in psych wards four separate times, once in 2009, once in 2012, twice in 2013. I haven’t been to the hospital since, except for some ER visits that never resulted in me being admitted again. The last time I was hospitalized, which was in summer 2013, I almost got put into an assisted living facility. No one there seemed to have any faith that I could live outside of one, and it seemed that was going to be my future. I pushed back hard against that and won and was able to go home and stay out of the hospital ever since.

The therapist I have now is amazing and I’ve been seeing him since 2011. Seriously, he’s the only therapist I want to see anymore, if I couldn’t see him, I probably wouldn’t see anyone. Almost all the other therapists I had before him were mostly awful. Seeing my therapist is literally the highlight of my week. I just wish he wasn’t so busy so that I could see him more often (I see him once a week now). I often share my writing with him, which helps him to understand better what’s going on with me and what’s happened in my past.

Right now, the medications I’m on are an antipsychotic injection and an antidepressant that is also used for anxiety. They work well and have made a night and day difference in my levels of anxiety and depression. When I miss them, those old problems start to come back more, though I am better at handling them than I used to be.

My issues first started when I was around four years old, when I was beaten by my babysitter for crying when she left me alone in her car. I struggle with issues that arose from that, including self-harm in the past, because it instilled in me an idea that I did something wrong and needed to be punished.
This is just a very basic overview of some of the major things I’ve struggled with (seriously, there is so much more I can talk about!) and I hope to share more of my thoughts and experiences in this thread.

Miss Wendighost January 20th, 2019 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainbow-Starlight (Post 9969813)
I am so joining this club! I have a lot to say about this topic, and I also love to write (and I have written about it loads and continue to write about it), so my posts in this thread may end up being rather long. This is a topic I’m very interested in and passionate about, as weird as that might sound.
I’ve been diagnosed with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I almost certainly (though I honestly do not know if I’ve been diagnosed with it yet; they won’t tell me) have bipolar. I have depressive and manic episodes that severely effect my life, so yeah, there’s that.

My anxiety is so bad that it was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia for years, because my OCD thoughts tend to resemble delusions (my current psychiatrist says that my OCD reached “psychotic levels”). It makes sense too, since in the past my anxiety took over my whole life and made me afraid to even have windows uncovered because I thought the people driving by my house were watching me and reporting what I did to the government. That was just one example of the types of things I used to worry about.
Thankfully, though I do still struggle a lot, I’m worlds away from where I was back in 2011-2013. I live with my parents, who are divorced (they live in separate places, but they’re close by and they still work together at my dad’s small business), and I’m a high school dropout (I tried to get help at school but they didn’t take my anxiety and depression seriously enough near the end, which, among other things, led to me simply being unable to handle going to school anymore) and have never been able to work a real job (and still can’t). I still have much less anxiety than I used to, thanks to therapy, medication, and other things.

I’ve been hospitalized in psych wards four separate times, once in 2009, once in 2012, twice in 2013. I haven’t been to the hospital since, except for some ER visits that never resulted in me being admitted again. The last time I was hospitalized, which was in summer 2013, I almost got put into an assisted living facility. No one there seemed to have any faith that I could live outside of one, and it seemed that was going to be my future. I pushed back hard against that and won and was able to go home and stay out of the hospital ever since.

The therapist I have now is amazing and I’ve been seeing him since 2011. Seriously, he’s the only therapist I want to see anymore, if I couldn’t see him, I probably wouldn’t see anyone. Almost all the other therapists I had before him were mostly awful. Seeing my therapist is literally the highlight of my week. I just wish he wasn’t so busy so that I could see him more often (I see him once a week now). I often share my writing with him, which helps him to understand better what’s going on with me and what’s happened in my past.

Right now, the medications I’m on are an antipsychotic injection and an antidepressant that is also used for anxiety. They work well and have made a night and day difference in my levels of anxiety and depression. When I miss them, those old problems start to come back more, though I am better at handling them than I used to be.

My issues first started when I was around four years old, when I was beaten by my babysitter for crying when she left me alone in her car. I struggle with issues that arose from that, including self-harm in the past, because it instilled in me an idea that I did something wrong and needed to be punished.
This is just a very basic overview of some of the major things I’ve struggled with (seriously, there is so much more I can talk about!) and I hope to share more of my thoughts and experiences in this thread.

That must be terrible to go through before you had gotten the medications you needed. While I had only wanted to hurt myself once when my dad had a drinking problem, I still had some serious issues after that and thus, I had started therapy which helps. On a similar note, I am relatively self-conscious about trying to fit in while being myself, which explains why I didn't join my college's Christian club (along with the fact that I couldn't fit it in with my schedule). No offense to anybody religious here.

Greninja, use Water Shuriken! January 20th, 2019 1:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainbow-Starlight (Post 9969813)
I am so joining this club! I have a lot to say about this topic, and I also love to write (and I have written about it loads and continue to write about it), so my posts in this thread may end up being rather long. This is a topic I’m very interested in and passionate about, as weird as that might sound.
I’ve been diagnosed with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I almost certainly (though I honestly do not know if I’ve been diagnosed with it yet; they won’t tell me) have bipolar. I have depressive and manic episodes that severely effect my life, so yeah, there’s that.

My anxiety is so bad that it was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia for years, because my OCD thoughts tend to resemble delusions (my current psychiatrist says that my OCD reached “psychotic levels”). It makes sense too, since in the past my anxiety took over my whole life and made me afraid to even have windows uncovered because I thought the people driving by my house were watching me and reporting what I did to the government. That was just one example of the types of things I used to worry about.
Thankfully, though I do still struggle a lot, I’m worlds away from where I was back in 2011-2013. I live with my parents, who are divorced (they live in separate places, but they’re close by and they still work together at my dad’s small business), and I’m a high school dropout (I tried to get help at school but they didn’t take my anxiety and depression seriously enough near the end, which, among other things, led to me simply being unable to handle going to school anymore) and have never been able to work a real job (and still can’t). I still have much less anxiety than I used to, thanks to therapy, medication, and other things.

I’ve been hospitalized in psych wards four separate times, once in 2009, once in 2012, twice in 2013. I haven’t been to the hospital since, except for some ER visits that never resulted in me being admitted again. The last time I was hospitalized, which was in summer 2013, I almost got put into an assisted living facility. No one there seemed to have any faith that I could live outside of one, and it seemed that was going to be my future. I pushed back hard against that and won and was able to go home and stay out of the hospital ever since.

The therapist I have now is amazing and I’ve been seeing him since 2011. Seriously, he’s the only therapist I want to see anymore, if I couldn’t see him, I probably wouldn’t see anyone. Almost all the other therapists I had before him were mostly awful. Seeing my therapist is literally the highlight of my week. I just wish he wasn’t so busy so that I could see him more often (I see him once a week now). I often share my writing with him, which helps him to understand better what’s going on with me and what’s happened in my past.

Right now, the medications I’m on are an antipsychotic injection and an antidepressant that is also used for anxiety. They work well and have made a night and day difference in my levels of anxiety and depression. When I miss them, those old problems start to come back more, though I am better at handling them than I used to be.

My issues first started when I was around four years old, when I was beaten by my babysitter for crying when she left me alone in her car. I struggle with issues that arose from that, including self-harm in the past, because it instilled in me an idea that I did something wrong and needed to be punished.
This is just a very basic overview of some of the major things I’ve struggled with (seriously, there is so much more I can talk about!) and I hope to share more of my thoughts and experiences in this thread.

Hi, it's good to see you here. (Me and her are very good friends)
Great job, Rainbow, for so articulately explaining your illness and the effects it has had on you.
Your post is great advice and support for anyone suffering from psychosis.

starseed galaxy auticorn February 24th, 2019 12:40 PM

(I'm just going to bump this because I like sharing my accomplishments and downfalls with my anxiety)

I've actually been having a lot of really good days tbh. It's refreshing to not have to deal with it day in and day out. I've spent more time being in my room since I set my xbox one up for Netflix and Hulu as well. Being in my room feels nice because I love being in front of my high turbo fan and enjoying the cool air. :3 I feel really good atm, and I'm hoping these feelings will last for a while because not dealing with chronic anxiety is an amazing feeling for me. <3

Fairy February 25th, 2019 7:49 PM

7000th post, neat.

So, I just started going to therapy after relapsing about a month ago. My new therapist (who is a wonderful lady, by the way), says she has a theory that all of my previous diagnosis's are actually symptoms of a completely different disorder. She has not given me a new diagnosis yet, so nothing is confirmed or set in stone. She's just challenging me to learn more and think more critically about my mental well being: but in combination with the anxiety, PTSD, obsessive rituals, intrusive thoughts, and disorganized / near delusional thinking, she believes I may be on the schizoaffective spectrum.

I.. don't know how to feel about it. My first instinct is to reject it because, well, f u c k n o. I know my mind and I don't think that applies to me. At the same time, what else am I going to therapy for but to learn and get better? It's a scary word, "schizoaffective", and the label is sorta throwing me for a loop. But I have faith that whatever is going on in my brain will heal with time, work, and patience.

On top of everything else, my therapist is training a therapy dog right now, and he's a little Jack Russel puppy named Ringo. So that right there makes me incredibly happy. :)

@AdorbzFangirl, I'm very glad things are looking up for you!

Decibel575 March 3rd, 2019 9:42 PM

Just discovered this place, and I would like to vent here a little. If I'm not allowed, I will delete it if need be though.
I have been diagnosed with Severe Social Anxiety and Minor Depression, although I hadn't been completely truthful about how I've been feeling to the doctor, as my mother was there and I was scared of what she would say if I spoke about it, so I'm not completely sure how true that is. I have also heard my family talking about me an autism, but I'm not exactly sure what they mean.

I would say things were fine until I was 6, I was in Prep, and it is that year when the bullying that would be a staple of my life began. My classmates where always avoiding me, running away whenever I came near. I didn't even understand why since I was never given a reason. I was always alone, just walking around the school. When other kids made fun of me, I couldn't even tell my teacher because she would think I was lying. I did eventually find a friend around a year later, and things started getting better. I had joined a soccer team that was going well, I had found people I got along with. Still had people making games out of avoiding me though.

When I was 10, we had to move away, which meant changing schools. I had just promised my friend that I would be back the next year as well, so you can imagine how annoyed I was. I couldn't even tell him since it was during the summer break when I found out. I was really upset, and I would find out later that when school came back, he asked the teacher where I was and he was told I wasn't going there anymore, to which he cried. I was still set on seeing him again, which is something I wanted to do for the next 6 years.

It was then that things started going downhill a lot. I was speaking less with people, focusing more on schoolwork, people were always saying rude things about me, I had balls thrown at me. They even made a new disease that anyone or anything that I touch is infected. So I regressed even more. Even when someone stood up for me and told the teachers, all the people who were in on it began blaming me, and said I was just using it to get things. The teachers believed them of course. My teachers were also looking down on me while I went to this school, singling me out even if other people are doing something wrong. I had a cast over my right wrist, so I couldn't write, and I was just told to figure it out. Then I find out that my principal, who was also the principal of my old school, has been telling all the teachers that I was some kind of trouble maker, leading to more targeting. I only lasted a year and a half before I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't go to school for 5 months? I think.

Then I was at a school that I would stay at for the rest of my time until college, I stood up for a younger kid while my classmate was bullying him, somehow turned into a fight. I ended up with a giant bruised face, and it was after that where my grades started going down, I couldn't understand anything the teachers were telling us. It was also during this time that I started being afraid of people, no matter who it was. Never really talked to anyone, and sat in an area away from everyone else. Teachers I liked were disappearing one after the other as well, so learning got even more difficult. Things stayed like that, with comments being made by classmates daily, for a while. I did find a new friend when I was 15, when we bonded over Pokemon, and anime, and he introduced me to a group of people who I still sort of get along with today, although they are probably only putting up with me because they feel bad. Then, I got involved with the scariest guy in the grade, he was big, around the size of the door, taller than most of the teachers, and I had heard things about him being extremely violent. I can't even remember what I did, he just started chasing me around the school, and a teacher eventually stopped it. He was told to go home, but I was leaving the office as he left the classroom with his things, and he came at me again. I couldn't get into a classroom and lock the door in time, when he grabbed me, and started choking me. I couldn't breath, and it took 3 teachers to get him off me. Other students were just there outside the classroom laughing though, which hit me a lot. The kid was expelled, as that wasn't his only assault, but other students would keep bringing it up, and acting like they didn't know what happened. I began pushing most people away after that. Then, towards the end of high-school, I see my friend that hadn't seen since I was 10. I was happy, and I began thinking that we could maybe catch up later. I spoke to him, and I realised that I was holding onto that old friendship for no reason. Of course no one would actually do that. It did sort of cut deep, and I felt like I had wasted all that time wanting to see them again. He seemed to have moved on a long time ago, and that he had just forgotten about me.

Now, we get to my first year of college, where my anxiety hit an all time high, It got to the point where I couldn't leave the house out of fear, that everyone was out there too target me. That every stranger is just watching me, judging me. I dropped out of college around a third of the year through, and the mental and physical thrashing didn't end there. My own family had always been a little tough to be around, always making fun of me as well. But once I dropped out, it went extreme. As soon as they would get home, they would start yelling at me for not doing anything with my life, and whenever they asked me to do something, and I declined, they would say things like "You literally do nothing all day, you never leave the house. The least you could do is (Whatever they would be telling me to do)". Even when I was finally diagnosed later that year, they all acted like I was faking it for attention, or over playing it. They were also always making fun of my body, so I'm also quite self conscious even now at 18. Sometimes I had thoughts of bad things, but I was too afraid to do anything. My grandmother is the one that suggested I see a Psychologist, which I was afraid of, because I didn't really want to be seen as crazy. My siblings don't even know I was seeing a psychologist, as they would probably continue on about me doing for attention.

My first time seeing the psychologist, I couldn't speak, or even look at her. At the time, my only source of comfort was my phone which I took with me everywhere, and I was moving it around in my hands and fidgeting. I went to see her 8 times last year, I think. I had also tried to go back to college, which a made it through the entire year somehow. I am doing a 13th year now, and while my anxiety has gone down a little, I still can't really talk to people, and I don't feel completely safe in public. I still have depressive episodes every so often as well, but things have been getting better. My family still hasn't though, but I have nowhere else to go so I just take it. But, I still feel like no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough, that everyone in my life sees me as a huge disappointment. My mother called me a burden a few weeks ago because I just said that my little sister could clean the dishes for once. I mean yeah, I see what she means. I am 18, and I Haven't even had a job yet, to her it's just me being lazy.

Sorry for this long post, and sorry for ranting, I just can't seem to ever get what I'm trying to say through. If this shouldn't be here then I will delete it.

LadyJirachu March 4th, 2019 12:19 AM

My crush on Korrina helps soothe my mentally ill responses to things :)

Like just yesterday she was a reason for me not to stim over an old word phobia again.

<3

Decibel575 March 4th, 2019 1:14 AM

Oh really? Is it that soothing for you? It's sort of funny how characters can do that for a person. So you're doing better than before?

LadyJirachu March 4th, 2019 1:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decibel575 (Post 9988048)
Oh really? Is it that soothing for you? It's sort of funny how characters can do that for a person. So you're doing better than before?

Yep :) Korrina really helps :D

Just looking at someone as pretty as her can be really calming for me. I just wanna run my fingers through her hair...ahhhh.....i bet its soooooo soft >////<;

Decibel575 March 4th, 2019 1:38 AM

I'm really glad to hear that. Personally, I use music to get my mind away from those types of things. Or I would think of what I was currently writing.

When I was younger though, I used to carry my Emerald game everywhere, even if I didn't have a DS at the time. Since my little child self thought of it as a friend.

May I ask what made you like her so much?

Darkmaster006 March 7th, 2019 11:24 PM

So I've never been diagnosed (I went to a therapist when I was little but that's it) but I think I'm pretty sure I have some sort of OCD and Depression, at least. Just thought I'd pass by and join, been reading all the posts, I can relate to many of them. I hope you all are doing alright, and let's keep trying our best!!

Mhm for some coping mechanisms, I usually try to focus on reading positive stories and creating characters. Usually creating characters help me understand myself better and helps me take my mind off of depressive thoughts and to channel my creativity, they work as an outlet and I get pretty attached to them.

Decibel575 March 8th, 2019 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkmaster006 (Post 9990190)
So I've never been diagnosed (I went to a therapist when I was little but that's it) but I think I'm pretty sure I have some sort of OCD and Depression, at least. Just thought I'd pass by and join, been reading all the posts, I can relate to many of them. I hope you all are doing alright, and let's keep trying our best!!

Mhm for some coping mechanisms, I usually try to focus on reading positive stories and creating characters. Usually creating characters help me understand myself better and helps me take my mind off of depressive thoughts and to channel my creativity, they work as an outlet and I get pretty attached to them.

Well, we welcome you here anyway. I've heard OCD is a huge pain to deal with, so you have my sympathy. So you create original characters? Have you written them into your own story as well?


So, yesterday I was late for class, and while waiting for the bus, I see it pull over. I get on, but am unsure if I was supposed to be on yet. I stood there stuttering, until I finally see someone else try to get on. After paying for my ticket, and me telling him my destination, he said "They allowed you into college? They must have lowered their standards then". It hurt, but I couldn't say anything.

Darkmaster006 March 8th, 2019 9:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decibel575 (Post 9990211)
Well, we welcome you here anyway. I've heard OCD is a huge pain to deal with, so you have my sympathy. So you create original characters? Have you written them into your own story as well?


So, yesterday I was late for class, and while waiting for the bus, I see it pull over. I get on, but am unsure if I was supposed to be on yet. I stood there stuttering, until I finally see someone else try to get on. After paying for my ticket, and me telling him my destination, he said "They allowed you into college? They must have lowered their standards then". It hurt, but I couldn't say anything.

Ugh, that's shitty. Usually when things like that happen I tend to just ignore it or think to myself 'guess you never made a mistake, huh? who. cares.' I tend to do... really stupid things without thinking of the consequences, but they're always pretty nimble like that so honestly when people lash out at me I'm just like "okay yeah a glass is broken so what?" I mean, I know I did a stupid thing alright? I don't need someone lashing out at me for that, and I accept what I've done, but criticising me and making me feel bad for such a stupid thing is kinda annoying. Even worse yet when they try to correlate that with whatever shit you've done before and be like 'you're always doing this doing that' which was all in the past and it's kinda harmful to bring it up. Anyways idk if it'll be helpful for you, and I haven't really explained myself much even though I've written a lot, but there it is.

Yeah, I create characters! I usually play them in roleplays or try and write stories about them. It's really fun and relaxing once you get in the mood. And it challenges you to think from other perspectives and look for stuff that you wouldn't do at all but that your characters would do. You also have to do a lot of research into personalities, quirks, body movements and whatsoever if you want to render your child faithfully. I try to give them all attention, though I have about 20 so it's pretty difficult! They serve as an outlet if you're going through a boring phase of your life and also helps me with writing and reading which I like a lot.

Decibel575 March 21st, 2019 10:43 PM

So I just found out that my best friend had moved states without my knowledge, :'D I had been waiting a while until I had done something at least notable before seeing him again. Since it was his birthday yesterday, I invited him out. I'm actually quite upset now, but also happy since he got into the university he wanted

Sheep April 7th, 2019 6:31 PM

Aww Decibel! I wish he would've let you know. >.< But alas, this stuff happens, and I hope you've been feeling better about it!

Wednesday is my last day at my job. Finally had the courage to put my resignation in last month and boy did anxiety make it hard. I needed support from my co-worker/friend to actually get the courage to go in and discuss it. Must've been so red-faced haha. But it went well! Boss was happy that I seemed to know what I wanted for my future and wished me well. Fortunately I can use them as references in the future for new jobs if ever needed.

Sadly this means the goodbye party will likely be in one of these last few days.... gggraahhh more attention I don't want, lol, but gotta push through. @[email protected]

Pinkie-Dawn April 7th, 2019 8:11 PM

I've been diagnosed with 1% Autism Spectrum since I was around 4. I suffer from OCD, avoidance in eye contact, repetitive pacing, intrusive thoughts, and maybe depression (a psychologist I visited a few years ago suspected that I have it). However, when I took that online Autism test shared by one of my Discord friends, it said that I wasn't Autistic, so I don't know if I've been living a lie this whole time.

Aslan April 7th, 2019 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decibel575 (Post 9996053)
So I just found out that my best friend had moved states without my knowledge, :'D I had been waiting a while until I had done something at least notable before seeing him again. Since it was his birthday yesterday, I invited him out. I'm actually quite upset now, but also happy since he got into the university he wanted

Oh man he should have told you he was moving beforehand :( I hope you and your friend can still find time to contact each other even if he has moved states, and find another way to celebrate his birthday at least? But that sucks to be let down like that, I hope you're feeling somewhat better now. <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheep (Post 10003454)
Aww Decibel! I wish he would've let you know. >.< But alas, this stuff happens, and I hope you've been feeling better about it!

Wednesday is my last day at my job. Finally had the courage to put my resignation in last month and boy did anxiety make it hard. I needed support from my co-worker/friend to actually get the courage to go in and discuss it. Must've been so red-faced haha. But it went well! Boss was happy that I seemed to know what I wanted for my future and wished me well. Fortunately I can use them as references in the future for new jobs if ever needed.

Sadly this means the goodbye party will likely be in one of these last few days.... gggraahhh more attention I don't want, lol, but gotta push through. @[email protected]

Aww I'm proud of you Janna :D It must have taken a lot of courage, so it's really commendable that you managed to push through the anxiety and quit. I'm really happy that it went well (and wish you luck for any future endeavours!). It must have been quite hard but at least it's over now, and behind you. And whilst a goodbye party can be stressful due to the attention, I do hope it goes smoothly for you and as anxiety-free as possible. Hopefully you can enjoy the food that is associated with goodbye parties at least, if nothing else!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinkie-Dawn (Post 10003473)
I've been diagnosed with 1% Autism Spectrum since I was around 4. I suffer from OCD, avoidance in eye contact, repetitive pacing, intrusive thoughts, and maybe depression (a psychologist I visited a few years ago suspected that I have it). However, when I took that online Autism test shared by one of my Discord friends, it said that I wasn't Autistic, so I don't know if I've been living a lie this whole time.

It's not my place to give medical advice but I feel like if you were formally diagnosed as being autistic, then that might have more credibility than an online test which may be more of a self-diagnosis tool? I'm not completely sure on this. But if you're conflicted and want to know, I feel like it could be a good idea to have another professional evaluation just to confirm perhaps! I'm really sorry to hear about all you've been through though. Intrusive thoughts are by far the most difficult thing I've experienced in overcoming, and I'm still trying to find the best way to treat them. I hope you find a way / have found ways to manage everything you are going through!

In other news, I am finally re-seeing a therapist in the upcoming break which I am really thankful for because my anxiety + depression have been killing me, anxiety in particular. Have been on the constant verge of a breakdown for a while but tried my best to just cope with it myself (which was not a good idea now that I think about it) but here's hoping I can hold it together till then :D Slightly unrelated but also going to start seeing a facial physiotherapist for a jaw problem I've had for 5/6 years (which has caused a lot of unnecessary pain / other symptoms) so hopefully that too will improve my mental health. Am excited to finally be doing something about my mental health again rather than just coping with it and hoping for the best!!

Pinkie-Dawn April 8th, 2019 7:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aslan (Post 10003505)
It's not my place to give medical advice but I feel like if you were formally diagnosed as being autistic, then that might have more credibility than an online test which may be more of a self-diagnosis tool? I'm not completely sure on this. But if you're conflicted and want to know, I feel like it could be a good idea to have another professional evaluation just to confirm perhaps!

This is the test I took to find out how Autistic I am. I scored about 10/50 from the result, which indicated that I'm not that Autistic.

Quote:

I'm really sorry to hear about all you've been through though. Intrusive thoughts are by far the most difficult thing I've experienced in overcoming, and I'm still trying to find the best way to treat them. I hope you find a way / have found ways to manage everything you are going through!
I've been partaking in a local community catalyst, which helps me cope with my mental illnesses and learn to be more independent.

VisionofMilotic April 15th, 2019 7:13 PM

Life is overall moving in a positive direction. I get by with money. My friends and family are good to me. I have a good boyfriend and healthy pets. I am in a creative period artistically. I have also some exciting events plans to look forward to. The trouble is I'm having flashbacks of an abusive ex sometimes. He can pop up in my mind when my life is at my most hopeful, he's like a little demon who just can't let me go. A dating counselor told me this is a normal reaction to trauma and part of our defense system i.e if you've been attacked by a bear while walking a trail, your mind will make you think about bears for your protection, even as you walk a peaceful outdoor trail.

I was in a relationship where I was hurt, bullied, humiliated, controlled and blackmailed. The shame of what he did to me and what I watched him to do others all comes back to me sometimes when I am alone, and it feels like a fresh wound that happened this year. I feel angry at myself that I did not stand up to him earlier. I wish I had never met him.

tigertron April 19th, 2019 1:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VisionofMilotic (Post 10006862)
Life is overall moving in a positive direction. I get by with money. My friends and family are good to me. I have a good boyfriend and healthy pets. I am in a creative period artistically. I have also some exciting events plans to look forward to. The trouble is I'm having flashbacks of an abusive ex sometimes. He can pop up in my mind when my life is at my most hopeful, he's like a little demon who just can't let me go. A dating counselor told me this is a normal reaction to trauma and part of our defense system i.e if you've been attacked by a bear while walking a trail, your mind will make you think about bears for your protection, even as you walk a peaceful outdoor trail.

I was in a relationship where I was hurt, bullied, humiliated, controlled and blackmailed. The shame of what he did to me and what I watched him to do others all comes back to me sometimes when I am alone, and it feels like a fresh wound that happened this year. I feel angry at myself that I did not stand up to him earlier. I wish I had never met him.

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you and it's something a person should never have to experience.

I'm happy to hear your life is moving in a positive direction now.

The only mental health issues I have is anxiety and a lack of confidence (not the best attributes for a paralegal) but I'm much better than I was before. I used to attend group sessions on how to manage and deal with stress and it really helps to talk about it and knowing that you're not alone helps too. Mindfulness is a good technique if anyone hasn't yet tried it. I recommend the head space app.

VisionofMilotic April 19th, 2019 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigertron (Post 10008093)
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you and it's something a person should never have to experience.

I'm happy to hear your life is moving in a positive direction now.

The only mental health issues I have is anxiety and a lack of confidence (not the best attributes for a paralegal) but I'm much better than I was before. I used to attend group sessions on how to manage and deal with stress and it really helps to talk about it and knowing that you're not alone helps too. Mindfulness is a good technique if anyone hasn't yet tried it. I recommend the head space app.


Thank you for your kind words and advice. I'm going to download that head space app! Reading about Buddhism has also been helpful to me. This of course won't be the path for everyone, but the exercises have opened my eyes personally.

I have anxiety too. In the past I did group therapy too, so we have that in common. Right now I have switched to meds.

I just wanted to say that I think you are courageous to share what you are going through, and it sounds like from what you described you are proactive. I know that you are dealing with anxiety and feeling underconfident but you are still able to be paralegal, and not everyone would be able to manage the stress levels, so I admire you.

Fairy April 20th, 2019 2:54 AM

It took a month and some extensive life changes but I finally got free from a highly abusive relationship and I’m slowly building myself up again thanks to some new meds, a great therapist, family support, and better coping skills.

I’m tentative to admit it but I think I might be doing better!

tigertron April 21st, 2019 1:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VisionofMilotic (Post 10008298)
Thank you for your kind words and advice. I'm going to download that head space app! Reading about Buddhism has also been helpful to me. This of course won't be the path for everyone, but the exercises have opened my eyes personally.

I have anxiety too. In the past I did group therapy too, so we have that in common. Right now I have switched to meds.

I just wanted to say that I think you are courageous to share what you are going through, and it sounds like from what you described you are proactive. I know that you are dealing with anxiety and feeling underconfident but you are still able to be paralegal, and not everyone would be able to manage the stress levels, so I admire you.

Thank you. It's great that we're all sharing because talking about it really does help. :)

Let me know how the mindfulness works, it might take some time to get used to it, but if it doesn't reduce your anxiety, it should make you rather sleepy. My firm offers mindfulness sessions every month and I go as often as possible; but yeah, the app is good because you can practice it in your own home or somewhere where you can be comfortable. There are some good Youtube videos too!

Fairy April 21st, 2019 3:02 AM

Oh! Mindfulness is one of the techniques my therapist is helping me understand! It didn’t work for me when I originally tried it at like.. 13 because I wasn’t too keen on listening to authority lol.. But now that I’m well into my twenties it’s much easier to remove myself from those intrusive thoughts and put myself in the “here and now” so to speak. What really helped me turn a corner was not to *think* about different things, but focus in on my five senses. Smell, touch, taste, etc. I’ve begun keeping small objects with me that help ground my sense of self when my anxiety being to take over. It’s not a cure buy any means, but it can definitely help me keep things together long enough so I don’t break down in public as much anymore. :)

Sheep April 28th, 2019 8:19 PM

That is incredibly good advice. You guys and gals are so bright!

The supplement I usually take daily I've not felt like taking in three days now. It's nice knowing you're okay enough to not need these things constantly. =) Makes me really happy about my recent life changing decisions. Clearly they were good choices and stepping away from the stress will clear up my mind and make things a bit easier going forward.

Taemin June 5th, 2019 10:46 PM

I feel like I should join, aaaah.

I have ADHD, Anxiety, and Dysthymia - which is just the fancy term for depression that can kick in intrusively out of nowhere, more or less. It sucks as a combo because depression wants to keep you down and tired, but anxiety makes me feel like if I should be doing something every second, and if I stay idle for too long I feel even worse. That is actually why I'm not as active on PC - because that's a still desktop activity for me, and part of how I tend to combat said depression nowadays is by being more active. I can have a really good day, but then a feeling just kinda hits and I feel like shit. Most of the time, though, I can pick myself up out of it also sort of easily, but it keeps coming back so it's always been annoying.

If anyone in here suffers from anxiety too, I have started taking 500mg Lavender flower pills and in general my anxiety has been lower, especially at work - so focusing is easier!

It also is said to help mood, which I've only noticed a bit, but every little bit helps.

I hope everyone in here is fairing as well as they can. <3

Fairy June 5th, 2019 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green (Post 10028847)
, If anyone in here suffers from anxiety too, I have started taking 500mg Lavender flower pills and in general my anxiety has been lower, especially at work - so focusing is easier!

It also is said to help mood, which I've only noticed a bit, but every little bit helps.

I hope everyone in here is fairing as well as they can. <3

I’m totally going to try this!

Also, my therapist gave me some great advice when it comes to anxiety that’s so far worked well for me. Actually verbally stating, out loud, ‘this is anxiety’ when anxious. It’s weird and I don’t know why but it actually is soothing.

ZeoStar June 8th, 2019 3:48 PM

I feel the most difficult part of anxiety for me is my inability to sleep. Every couple of hours I wake up restless. My medication was switched again so I hope it ends up helping with this issue, but I've resorted to catching sleep during the day time when I can.

Fairy June 19th, 2019 7:28 PM

How has everyone in the club been doing lately? Any development / changes / improvements in your mental wellbeing?

colours June 19th, 2019 7:36 PM

my depression is getting worse

but that's par for the course. not to be negative (it's not intentional) but it's something ive long since accepted

Raicheot June 21st, 2019 4:06 AM

Hi all not really a suffer of bad mental health I do have a bit of social anxiety and I usually have to psych myself up to go places especially as I got kids now and the youngest is most likely to play up and draw attention to me, but through life I have done things that have helped mostly focus around exercise as I was always into sports and the endorphins released help a lot, I started up at the gym when I was in my early teens and pumped some iron still do, that gave me confidence. I got into muay Thai and mma and you would be surprised how much that helps with confidence and you will make good friends as its a becomes tight group of people.

Take one of my daughters she suffers with really bad anxiety and while she did muay Thai she became a completely different person

My partner suffers with really bad mental heath issues many anxiety and depression and I try get her to go to the gym as much as she can and it helps her as she had been on mess for years and gave up with them as the didn't help her nor therapy, I think she got worst after therapy as it brought a lot up from her childhood that has scared her mentally

My youngest daughter is autistic and my son is now being tested for it, luckily they are not severely affected by it and should lead a normal life with a little help , we just have to do a lot of adapting and trying to avoid moments when they struggle

Fairy June 21st, 2019 4:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raicheot (Post 10035128)
Hi all not really a suffer of bad mental health I do have a bit of social anxiety and I usually have to psych myself up to go places especially as I got kids now and the youngest is most likely to play up and draw attention to me, but through life I have done things that have helped mostly focus around exercise as I was always into sports and the endorphins released help a lot, I started up at the gym when I was in my early teens and pumped some iron still do, that gave me confidence. I got into muay Thai and mma and you would be surprised how much that helps with confidence and you will make good friends as its a becomes tight group of people.

Take one of my daughters she suffers with really bad anxiety and while she did muay Thai she became a completely different person

My partner suffers with really bad mental heath issues many anxiety and depression and I try get her to go to the gym as much as she can and it helps her as she had been on mess for years and gave up with them as the didn't help her nor therapy, I think she got worst after therapy as it brought a lot up from her childhood that has scared her mentally

My youngest daughter is autistic and my son is now being tested for it, luckily they are not severely affected by it and should lead a normal life with a little help , we just have to do a lot of adapting and trying to avoid moments when they struggle

I feel this so much. When I was young I also started Karate, and kept doing it for a good 15 years. It didn't cure my anxiety (in fact, later in life it really just make it worse since my sensei was legitimately abusive and preferred hazing over teaching) but I learned lessons about what positive inner talk looks like and the benefits of endorphin release. It's kind of tough to be paralyzed with anxiety when you're literally dry heaving from physical exertion, ya know? I've personally been trying to redirect much of my anxious energy into working out and, while I'm not at a point where it's doing much, I do generally feel better about myself afterwards and that small self esteem boost feels nice.

My best to you and yours. I don't have kids but I wish yours well in their journey through Autism. <3

Raicheot June 21st, 2019 6:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairy (Post 10035130)
I feel this so much. When I was young I also started Karate, and kept doing it for a good 15 years. It didn't cure my anxiety (in fact, later in life it really just make it worse since my sensei was legitimately abusive and preferred hazing over teaching) but I learned lessons about what positive inner talk looks like and the benefits of endorphin release. It's kind of tough to be paralyzed with anxiety when you're literally dry heaving from physical exertion, ya know? I've personally been trying to redirect much of my anxious energy into working out and, while I'm not at a point where it's doing much, I do generally feel better about myself afterwards and that small self esteem boost feels nice.

My best to you and yours. I don't have kids but I wish yours well in their journey through Autism. <3


Thanks

Shame your teacher was that way could of ended out being a complete difference experience if he was more willing to help rather be abusive, martial arts should be fun if your not in it for the competitive side, how can you be relaxed if your not in a friendly environment we are humans we make mistakes

I hope you stick with the working out if it's making you feel better, just got to remember every little helps, it may not feel like much now but it's better than nothing and hopefully will grow in time

starseed galaxy auticorn June 21st, 2019 6:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raicheot (Post 10035128)
My youngest daughter is autistic and my son is now being tested for it, luckily they are not severely affected by it and should lead a normal life with a little help , we just have to do a lot of adapting and trying to avoid moments when they struggle

I'm autistic myself. I just wanted to say that sometimes struggling isn't a bad thing. It's a way of learning about them and knowing what will happen if the struggle comes up again. So, you should never fear those struggles. Think of it as a way to learn about their triggers. :3 I've learned a lot from my own struggles and what triggers my anxiety/autism. I have very bad anxiety tbh, and just about everything can be a trigger for me. I'm always working on ways to resist getting worked up over things and letting my anxiety get to me.

Anyway, I've been going back to my music space again. Not because of relapse reasons... but it just helps me in a lot of ways. Music saved me as well, so I can't imagine a life without it. ;w;

Raicheot June 22nd, 2019 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auticorn (Post 10035311)
I'm autistic myself. I just wanted to say that sometimes struggling isn't a bad thing. It's a way of learning about them and knowing what will happen if the struggle comes up again. So, you should never fear those struggles. Think of it as a way to learn about their triggers. :3 I've learned a lot from my own struggles and what triggers my anxiety/autism. I have very bad anxiety tbh, and just about everything can be a trigger for me. I'm always working on ways to resist getting worked up over things and letting my anxiety get to me.

Anyway, I've been going back to my music space again. Not because of relapse reasons... but it just helps me in a lot of ways. Music saved me as well, so I can't imagine a life without it. ;w;

When she's home we can manage her flapping and breaking down pretty well as she's gotten older, my son is a lot harder as he is still quite young and turns aggressive fast if something triggers him

How did you find school? as that is my biggest concern, my daughter is really bright but struggles quite a bit paying attention and understanding , we've been told she may not be able to go to a mainstream secondary school if she continues, but with a bit of help I think we can get her there

Also that's brill that you got music to help you,music is great and it helps so many people in so many different ways

Aslan June 22nd, 2019 5:25 PM

Can agree that exercise helps a lot! Its been something small and helpful for anxiety / depression. I've been running regularly (am training for a running event later next year) and it's remarkable how good you feel afterwards. It's hard to push yourself to get out there and start but I've always noticed that it helps to clear my mind, going for a run. I would love to take up a team sport later when I have more time but its been really good mentally.

Also I wish the best of luck to you in terms of supporting your children, Raicheot! It's great to hear your daughter is really bright and though it may be a struggle, I hope you find ways to resolve any issues with her paying attention and understanding. I could not pay attention if my life depended on it when I was much younger (and still can't to an extent as I zone out a lot). Whilst its different circumstances, I did eventually find solutions to it (through a lot of trial and error) and I don't feel as limited by it anymore. I have full faith everything will work out and hope everything goes well. :)

colours June 22nd, 2019 5:26 PM

I wish I could run regularly. Unfortunately health issues mean I can't push myself more than a certain point so I can't do more than just jog for a period of time, but I think that should be enough. ._.

Raicheot June 23rd, 2019 5:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aslan (Post 10035671)
Can agree that exercise helps a lot! Its been something small and helpful for anxiety / depression. I've been running regularly (am training for a running event later next year) and it's remarkable how good you feel afterwards. It's hard to push yourself to get out there and start but I've always noticed that it helps to clear my mind, going for a run. I would love to take up a team sport later when I have more time but its been really good mentally.

Also I wish the best of luck to you in terms of supporting your children, Raicheot! It's great to hear your daughter is really bright and though it may be a struggle, I hope you find ways to resolve any issues with her paying attention and understanding. I could not pay attention if my life depended on it when I was much younger (and still can't to an extent as I zone out a lot). Whilst its different circumstances, I did eventually find solutions to it (through a lot of trial and error) and I don't feel as limited by it anymore. I have full faith everything will work out and hope everything goes well. :)

Thanks

I agree getting out there and starting is the hardest part and I still have to motivate myself sometimes if I miss a few sessions.

Glad you found solutions and my pattern and I will to help them, like you said it will be trial and error but I think it will be OK :)

Sheep June 23rd, 2019 12:36 PM

Exercise is definitely so helpful. I really wish I could get back into it (used to go to a karate dojo three times a week and jogged for a brief period) but exhaustion from work took me away from it all, and now I don't seem to have the motivation to do it again. Probably because I'm naturally thin and seem to have high metabolism, so weight gain isn't a problem and so there's nothing to push me. Trying to at least do more stretches but gah...being demotivated is tough. I'll need to find a way to get that energy back, lol. Seems like you're a very strong person, Raicheot, and that's admirable. =)

Things have been good for me lately!! I went three whole weeks without taking anxiety supplements. Did take one yesterday since bf and I went out to his co-worker's goodbye party at a restaurant with 14 others, though I probably wouldn't really have even needed it. Those pills are just supplements and not addicting but I've never went more than two days without taking a pill for over a year. So I am sooo proud of myself. Lately I feel like I barely even need them, it's such a freeing feeling.

Fairy June 23rd, 2019 4:16 PM

I swear, smoking was the worst thing I could have possibly done for my anxiety and overall health. The stress relief I felt from nicotine PALES in comparison to the panic I felt when I got heart palpitations, lost my breath easily, felt like I was drowning whenever I laid down, and passed out from lightheadedness. It's been, gosh... so many years since I quit and still my lungs just can't keep up with my body. It's hard to pace myself when I work out because none of my muscle groups have been engaged, but my chest is on fire. I wish I had never started that filthy habit. All it did was exacerbate my anxiety - especially since I obsess over things like my cardiovascular and endocrine systems. If you have any kind of anxiety, panic disorders, or anything that triggers somatic symptoms, I beg you to never smoke. Ever.

But! Good news is I've completely cut out coffee! (Anyone who knows me, you can go ahead and pick your jaw up off the floor lmao). I've been caffeine free for about four months now and not being so aware of my own heartbeat has put me in slighter ease. By no means did it cure or solve anything for me, but it's just one less thing my compulsions can obsess over. I've transferred to caffeine free teas and it's so soothing. Definitely recommended! After a good workout it's nice to have a cup of tea and relax - my anxiety levels are usually pretty low after that. :)

starseed galaxy auticorn June 24th, 2019 1:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raicheot (Post 10035376)
When she's home we can manage her flapping and breaking down pretty well as she's gotten older, my son is a lot harder as he is still quite young and turns aggressive fast if something triggers him

How did you find school? as that is my biggest concern, my daughter is really bright but struggles quite a bit paying attention and understanding , we've been told she may not be able to go to a mainstream secondary school if she continues, but with a bit of help I think we can get her there

Also that's brill that you got music to help you,music is great and it helps so many people in so many different ways

School in the 90s was a lot harder... but it was the 90s. I wasn't diagnosed until about 12, but I was diagnosed with ADHD in the second grade. It really depends on the school system and the kind of town you live in. I also grew up in a small town, and the school was pretty shitty about dealing with disabilities. I'm only on a more mild spectrum. That's good that you're trying though! I think every child deserves at least a chance in mainstream schooling in my opinion. I also wouldn't try to stop the flapping other stims... unless they are causing damage to herself or others. Stimming is our way of expressing ourselves and how we see the world. I do a lot of my stims at home around my parents.

FYI: Before anyone jumps on me for being an "autism expert". I'm not. I already know that. I'm just going by what I've heard from fellow autistics and my own experiences.

Fairy June 24th, 2019 6:40 PM

I don't think there's any doubt that the American school systems could be doing more for underprivileged, mentally/physically challenged, and troubled/problematic youth. Teachers are ill equipped, overworked, and underpaid for what they do, even if they have a class of the world's most well adjusted students on earth. Children with autism, ADHD, emotional or cognitive-behavioral issues, and the plethora of things that impact today's youth deserve to be given specialized treatment and attention by qualified staff. End of story.

I imagine we'd have much less maladjusted, depressed, and anxious adults were schooling systems more focused on the individualized needs rather than overall test scores. Anyone from NJ knows the ol' "no child left behind" policy that basically ruined education for any grade that was subject to it.

/rant over aha

Raicheot June 24th, 2019 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auticorn (Post 10036419)
School in the 90s was a lot harder... but it was the 90s. I wasn't diagnosed until about 12, but I was diagnosed with ADHD in the second grade. It really depends on the school system and the kind of town you live in. I also grew up in a small town, and the school was pretty shitty about dealing with disabilities. I'm only on a more mild spectrum. That's good that you're trying though! I think every child deserves at least a chance in mainstream schooling in my opinion. I also wouldn't try to stop the flapping other stims... unless they are causing damage to herself or others. Stimming is our way of expressing ourselves and how we see the world. I do a lot of my stims at home around my parents.

FYI: Before anyone jumps on me for being an "autism expert". I'm not. I already know that. I'm just going by what I've heard from fellow autistics and my own experiences.

The only time I have to stop her flap/stim is if she gets a cut even the smallest of cuts as she will pick at it and keep picking at it unless we stop her and cover it up, luckily both mine are mild cases of autism and both accessed young my daughter is just about to turn 7 and my son is 3 and they are starting the process with him, I think with a little help they should be OK with everyday living but its little things like no spatial awareness and no observation of what's around her like when we are near a road she won't be aware of cars and whats around her and just walk out, hopefully we can get her out of that by the time she needs to be independent.

starseed galaxy auticorn June 25th, 2019 7:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raicheot (Post 10036580)
The only time I have to stop her flap/stim is if she gets a cut even the smallest of cuts as she will pick at it and keep picking at it unless we stop her and cover it up, luckily both mine are mild cases of autism and both accessed young my daughter is just about to turn 7 and my son is 3 and they are starting the process with him, I think with a little help they should be OK with everyday living but its little things like no spatial awareness and no observation of what's around her like when we are near a road she won't be aware of cars and whats around her and just walk out, hopefully we can get her out of that by the time she needs to be independent.

It's good to work with them as young as possible. I wasn't nearly as lucky because of a late diagnosis. It got better as I reached middle school, but that's because we moved to AZ... and the schools were somewhat better. I'm not very independent myself to be honest, but that's because every attempt I've had to learn either backfired on me or something. I was in a life skills class my second senior year... but that was nothing but a disaster. I can use a microwave, but I fear the hot stove some due to a slightly bad experience as a child. :x My hardest challenges mostly do with cooking and cleaning. ><

Raicheot June 25th, 2019 7:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auticorn (Post 10036720)
It's good to work with them as young as possible. I wasn't nearly as lucky because of a late diagnosis. It got better as I reached middle school, but that's because we moved to AZ... and the schools were somewhat better. I'm not very independent myself to be honest, but that's because every attempt I've had to learn either backfired on me or something. I was in a life skills class my second senior year... but that was nothing but a disaster. I can use a microwave, but I fear the hot stove some due to a slightly bad experience as a child. :x My hardest challenges mostly do with cooking and cleaning. ><

I'm hoping that being young they willl get the support needed, as for independence that is a long way away but still a worry and prob always will be

Fairy June 25th, 2019 1:46 PM

RIP Etika. Mental health is so, so important and my endless love to his family, friends, and fans for the loss of this young man. This is exactly why these conversations need to happen, and why early intervention is life saving.

colours June 26th, 2019 2:26 PM

My college is leaving me on my own as far as mental health stuff is concerned. The reasoning I got was "it's supposed to be short term", like I dunno... being overwhelmed with homework or something?? Apparently there isn't such thing as long-term depression to these people?

Ah well. .__. It sucks because now I'm gonna have more infrequent visits to my therapist due to now paying out of pocket instead of having it covered.

Fairy June 26th, 2019 9:45 PM

Universities are notoriously negligent of student mental health unless it could present a lawsuit for the college. You're honestly better off looking for cheaper professional help, or seeking out support groups. They can really help. :(

I.. got two emails from my abuser in the span of two days. It was just... sickeningly sweet, but laced with such malignant intent. Like poisoned honey. I had a pretty bad breakdown after the first once since he more or less gave me an ultimatum when it comes to him gate-keeping my grandmother and "if he should even tell me when she dies". Really didn't handle that well. The second email was how he somehow found out I'm selling my house and wants a cut of the buy to help support my grandmother. And I.. want to, I really do, but I know she'd never see a dime of it. It'll all go to his alcoholism. And this isn't chump change I'm walking into either! This is going to build my first home with my soon to be husband, to buy my first plot of land, and fund my wedding. I can't sacrifice that for anything.. and it's just so fucked up that he's basically saying "your dead mother would want you to give me this money".

So, yeah, moral of the day: don't look at emails from your abusers until you can do so in therapy or just avoid it all together. All it brings is shame, guilt, and grief.

Sheep June 27th, 2019 4:58 AM

RIP Etika. I hadn't known until recently who he was, but reading the stories about his situation and his last message before he took his life was heartbreaking.

I've not had time to read any posts besides Fairy's above but omg, stay strong. You don't deserve any of that, and it sickens me that some people can behave in such a way.

User Anon 1848 June 27th, 2019 6:12 AM

It sucks that your college is neglecting your mental health like that colours. Seems like an all too common problem in America. Hopefully there are some alternatives for you. Just be weary of scams like BetterHelp. They're only interested in selling customer data and they intentionally hire people who aren't doctors so they can legally get away with disclosing your information for profit. A few prominent youtubers were paid boat loads of money to shill for them. It's pretty sick how they prey on those who are already in a vulnerable state of mind.

Greninja, use Water Shuriken! June 28th, 2019 1:58 PM

Welcome to all the new members who have been posting in this club, I hope you're all doing well. :)

Firstly, it's great to see this club win June's Club Of the Month award. Thank you to everyone has who helped win this club the award. You're all awesome. :)

Sheep July 1st, 2019 11:07 AM

Yes, this is an excellent club. <3 My mental health has been pretty good still, though I do get tightness/knots in my chest area during stressful situations still. Suppose that's normal, but it seems like the only way for that to go away is for me to take a nap or wait for the boyfriend to come home. Gotta learn to manage it better myself.

Have any of you guys tried lavender for stress relief?

VisionofMilotic July 4th, 2019 7:41 PM

Since the Emotion thread is closed I will come here. I feel "troubled" if I had to describe my emotional state right now in one word. Today is Independence Day, fireworks are a tradition on this national holiday. This is very stressful to me right now though.

I am fine with a little firework show. I was even looking forward to viewing the display in my city tonight with some excitement. I spent some time watching the fireworks extravaganza outside a colosseum near my home tonight, and taking photos. While the official show is long since over, several citizens are lighting their own fireworks and firecrackers, playing loud music to celebrate, even shooting guns into the air in salute-- this is actually legal in some parts of the world unfortunately. I am having difficulty with all the random stuff people in town are doing. This started happening sporadically around 7:30 this evening. It is almost midnight and all of the jarring sounds are still going on, with no end in sight. I feel tense, I can't relax. Can't sleep through all this obviously, and can't concentrate on much from the distraction. I feel scared and depressed. I would cuddle my cat, but he's in the closet hiding from all the noise too.

Decibel575 July 4th, 2019 8:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VisionofMilotic (Post 10040900)
Since the Emotion thread is closed I will come here. I feel "troubled" if I had to describe my emotional state right now in one word. Today is Independence Day fireworks are a tradition on this national holiday, and this is very stressful to me right now.

I am fine with a little firework show. I was even looking forward to viewing the display in my city tonight with some excitement. I spent some time watching thrnfireworks extravaganza outside a colosseum near my home tonight, and taking photos. While the official show is long since over, several citizens are lighting their own fireworks and firecrackers, playing loud music to celebrate even shooting guns into the air in salute-- this is actually legal in some parts of the world unfortunately. I am having difficulty with all the random stuff people in town are doing. This started happening sporadically around 7:30 this evening. It is almost midnight and all of the jarring sounds are still going on, with no end in sight. I feel tense, I can't relax. Can't sleep through all this obviously, and can't concentrate on much from the distraction. I feel scared and depressed. I would cuddle my cat, but he's in the closet hiding from all the noise too.

First of all, you are very welcome here. And second, I'm sorry about you having to put up with so much noise. I'm not American myself, I'm from Australia. But I know how loud people can be when celebrating their country. When celebrating, they pay everyone else absolutely no mind. The best thing I can offer as any advice is to use earphones or ear plugs.. I don't think you'll be able to sleep though that, and it will probably continue until roughly 3-4 am, when they all go to sleep. Although, after midnight, you may be able to call the police about a noise complaint, if you so wish

Sheep July 7th, 2019 5:32 AM

Sam, I completely understand and would feel the same. I really don’t deal well with loud and obnoxious noises like that, and it stresses me out. Hopefully you’ve settled and feel better now that the holiday is over and people calmed down. I’m sorry that happened. :<


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