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-   -   Dear Anonymous, (Roaring 20's) (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=420217)

Sirfetch’d April 16th, 2019 7:12 AM

Dear Anonymous, (Roaring 20's)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by original thread
Dear Anonymous,

This thread holds thoughts and feelings by members who can't speak out these to the people they're for. Inspired by a conversation I had with someone, the purpose of this thread is to allow members who want to get something off their chest out there and into the open without allowing the person that they're for to know that they're for them. Most of the time, it's to share our feelings -- disguised as a crush -- towards someone.

Other times, it's for something a little more serious. There are some things that we just want to put out there, but we're scared of what will happen when we do. This way, the feelings get put out there for the world, but holds the anonymity that holds back the consequence of sharing it with the person it's for.

xoxo - try to keep the "Dear Anonymous" part in tact with your message for authenticity! n__n

IMPORTANT NOTE: This thread is not for thinly veiled arguments and anyone using it to incite personal drama will be infracted. Consider the thread more the equivalent of writing a letter to someone and then burning it. Get your feelings out if you must, but try to avoid a full-on rant, to keep things constructive and somewhat serious.

fenberry April 16th, 2019 11:56 AM

Dear Anonymous,

I've only known you a few days but I think you're really cool. I'm too scared to message you because I don't think you'd want to talk to me, but if you get a chance to message me or maybe I work up the courage to message you, maybe we could talk about piano together or something like that? I really like your name and your ROM Hacks, and I'm sorry I couldn't say this to you in a message or other thread, but I've been so nervous.

pastelspectre April 16th, 2019 8:04 PM

dear anonymous,

i do not think you realize how much your words hurt me. you claim to support me but then you go and do things that display the exact opposite. your mind games are really tiring to me and i am so tired of not being good enough for you no matter what i do. i just want to do what is best for me and my mental health but i feel like i cannot do that without upsetting you and without you threatening to kick me out like you did once before. i should not be terrified of you but i am. i just pretend to be okay with you and not scared of you so you will not be upset with me. i shouldn't be scared of you.

fenberry April 20th, 2019 3:31 AM

(Sorry for a second one.)

I think I'm in love with you, but I'm kind of afraid of love. I don't want to hurt you and ruin whatever we have right now. I don't exactly know what it is. You make me happy and I think about you a ton. I don't know what to do here. I don't want to weird you out, either..

colours April 22nd, 2019 2:23 PM

da,

it's been quite a wild ride this past half year, hasn't it? the laughs, the jokes, the irritation, the frustration. we've been through a lot, we've seen people come and go... and I'm afraid I'll be one of those joining the latter.

to tell you guys the truth, I no longer feel the passion of this job like I used to. the company changed, more and more irritating people got hired on which made the whole environment that much more annoying. sure, the pay was decent provided one was putting in the work, but at what cost? it seemed as if every week when I showed up, something or another would happen. we would always be late on something, or run out of something else... it's really starting to get old at this point. it's definitely not something I'm willing to go through five days a week (which is why I'm not really interested in returning to that schedule).

for those of you that i've built a solid foundation with, you all have been amazing. certainly fun with make jokes with and whatnot. that i will never forget. alas, im just not willing to stay here any more. im not happy here anymore, and I found something that's better for me, anyway.

da2,

all I can say to you is that i hope your days will get easier from here on out. i dont know how much longer you plan on staying on, especially with all the constant bs going on. i don't envy your position in the slightest. seems like you're squeezed between a rock and a shit place, if im going to be honest. perhaps you'll stick around take the supervisor position once she quits or gets demoted or something, who knows? but i will admit that i admire your style of leadership. you don't bullshit around and you're honest. just take it easy and don't stress yourself so much. easier said than done, i know, but still worth keeping in mind regardless.

Kitty April 22nd, 2019 5:03 PM

da,

hopefully you lived a life without regrets.
we miss you.

Sami April 28th, 2019 8:23 AM

da,

I'd love to talk more to you and get to know you, but well... I tend to feel more like I'd bother you than anything else.

Social interaction... my mortal enemy.

pastelspectre April 29th, 2019 9:28 AM

dear anonymous,

i hope our chat about my plans this friday go well. i wish you would truly see how exhausted i am all the time. i constantly have dark circles under my eyes. my back hurts all the time. even doing the simplest things like taking out the trash exhaust me. even on the days i don't do much, i still feel tired. a 21 year old shouldn't feel this exhausted and this...old, for lack of better terms. college is exhausting me and i hate it. i have no friends in college and college brings me no joy.

i just wish you'd see i need a break. if i do anything more I'M going to break.

Taemin May 15th, 2019 10:35 AM

Dear Anonymous

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE A SHOWER, AND DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN ABOUT YOU WAIT FOR YOUR TOWELS TO SMELL LIKE MILDEW BEFORE YOU WASH THEM.
THAT'S NOT NORMAL TO TELL A COWORKER.
I' m c r ying
i really hope your talk with the director will solve the BO end of this problem. /sobbing noises


Dear Anonymous,

I know you wanna talk to me more, but isn't that forcing a relationship?? We don't have much in common to talk about so???

Sothis May 15th, 2019 1:24 PM

da

Stop stalking me and being a little bitch behind my back, act like a fucking adult

antemortem May 27th, 2019 10:16 AM

Dear Anonymous,

my patience is truly being tested this week, and I am vowing to remain level, focused, and hydrated to maintain my peace.

Palamon June 6th, 2019 4:46 PM

Dear Anonymous,

Saying "I'm indifferent" is not the same thing as being "rude" or "nasty." I hope I never have to work with you ever again.

Taemin June 9th, 2019 10:20 PM

Dear Anonymous,

You called me beautiful even after I came out to you with all of my LGBT troubles, and I told you because you're one of my closest friends, and since it's pride month and all. I know you said it in kind of a joking way, but it still hit me really strangely hard at the time. I've never been quite that affected by such a random flirty compliment before. lol Heck, I'm usually the one making flirty comments at people. LOL You're such a nice guy, and that's not just at surface level. You're a very person good for how you treat other people. Thank you for being so chill. 👍

Leviathan June 12th, 2019 1:14 PM

Dear A,

I want to thank you for stifling my writing muse lately. I had enjoyed the plots we were talking about for the rps that we were involved in together, but I felt that came to a screeching halt when you wanted to involve another friend of yours. You tried to set up a rp with this friend and myself, yet remained oblivious to the fact that it was only being done for selfish reasons on their part, with no mind paid to storytelling or the like.

So thanks again, A, for I feel that I now need to take a break from writing for a short while, due to how I felt treated in this case.

Taemin June 12th, 2019 6:38 PM

Dear Anonymous,

I'm so glad that we're closer as friends and that we're going through something similar at the same time. Support from groups of friends is more helpful than I thought, and I don't know how I managed to find friends that were so understanding, but I'm so thankful for all of you. Even the friends I haven't been as close with overtime. I hope I can create less of a gap with you guys, too!

Dear Anonymous,

I really don't understand you. You get upset when I have a life, and I don't feel like that's the proper way to respond to someone that you love.

Miss Wendighost June 20th, 2019 11:24 AM

Dear Anonymous,

We've known each other for a while and I would like to say a few things. First off, I'm glad to be one of the many people that you can trust to come out of the closet to. Just know that I still respect and care for you as you are. Likewise, I know that things are going rough with your parents. I hope that it isn't anything too abusive, but just know that I'll be there for you if you need me at anytime. I only wish the best for you and your life.

Best Wishes,

TheGhostHunter, your equally nerdy friend.

antemortem June 20th, 2019 6:52 PM

Dear Anonymous,

I thank you for the endless small kindnesses you've paid me, but I have to honor and be truthful to myself. And if you have to be in pain as part of the process, it is something we will both have to accept. If you really love me, you'll sacrifice the future you've imagined for both of us for what will truly make us happy.

Treecko August 18th, 2019 6:50 PM

Dear Anonymous,

I wish I could tell you that I am not interested in being your friend anymore. Hanging out with you can be very mentally and physically draining. You're so immature and can't spend two minutes without saying something and so you believe that blurting random thoughts is better than just being silent. It's so exhausting.Not to mention you're unaware of how manipulative of how you can be. Anytime I wanna talk about something serious, you mention how the conversation is making you want to kill yourself and causing you to be depressed. That is not okay. Your depression shouldn't be an excuse to not talk about something serious. You should be using your depression and anxiety to manipulate people. I'm this close to breaking our friendship. I don't care how long we've been friends, I think you need to grow up a bit and stop unknowingly control others before I really could see us being good friends again.

pastelspectre August 19th, 2019 7:30 AM

Dear Anonymous,

I'm glad we talked things out and we seem to be on better terms now. I'm feeling a little conflicted with..other family things, but I hope if I can talk to another family member about it who has gone through similar things, I will be able to figure out what I need to do. I do think we make a good team when we're not.. clawing at each others throats. I just want to be on the good side of both my parents.

Neon Pink August 20th, 2019 6:50 PM

Dear Anonymous,
I wish I had the courage to message you, but i'm really shy and stuff. Just looking at your profile, I know we'd get along like two peas in a pod. We have so much in common, but sadly, due to deep dark secrets in my heart, I can't reveal who I truly am. Maybe once I get my life together, I can muster up the courage to message you, but until I LITERALLY get my life together, I can't. I'm sorry anonymous. I really am.

Fairy August 21st, 2019 6:31 AM

Dear Anon(s),

Not that you ever would - you're too nice and understanding - but there's nothing that you could possibly say about me being unreliable and a terrible friend that I don't already know and punish myself for every single day.

Miss Wendighost August 22nd, 2019 4:35 AM

Dear Anon,

Thanks for being there when I needed it the most. You really are a life saver.

an illegible mess. August 24th, 2019 3:36 AM

dear anonymous,

all you had to do was love me.
why was it so hard for you? what did you gain from hurting me like that? years have gone by. you treat it as if nothing ever happened. but i remember. do you? it haunts me. every night i try to go to sleep it haunts me. the way you talked about me, mocked me behind my back, called me names and then lied to my face, weaseled your way into my personal accounts, read my private messages with other people. why did you do that? you lied, manipulated, controlled. pulled me along every step of the way. i can't trust anyone anymore. i have so many problems with my current relationships. why did you do that to me? it could have been so easy. so much better. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LOVE ME. i don't understand. i will never understand.

i hope you haven't forgotten me. i hope you are plagued everyday by the memories. i hope you feel horrible. i hope you always feel horrible for what you did. know that i have never forgiven you nor forgotten you. know that i have never moved on. maybe you have, but i haven't, and i hate you for it so much. why me. you could have done it to any other person. why me. i did nothing wrong. i loved you and supported you every minute. i did everything for you. WHAT DID I DO WRONG. i was innocent. I TRUSTED YOU.

i deserved so much better. i deserved compassion, honesty, sincerity and love. it wasn't hard to give. you never tried, you never bothered. you were the most cold, dishonest, uncaring person i have ever known. i never want to be like you, and i hope those you know now see your true colors and for what you are. i hope they leave sooner than i did. i hope their stories don't end up like mine. i hope they have the strength to move on. they deserve so much better than you.

and you? you deserve nothing. karma will come around. it always does.

Sami August 24th, 2019 6:04 AM

Dear Anon,

I'd like to talk more but for some reason I feel as if I always am a bother when I try.
I think you're very nice but I just shit my pants when trying to do anything other than things I normally do.
Feelings suck >:(

Noblejanobii August 24th, 2019 7:14 AM

Dear Anon 1,

I don't like how people let you get away with everything. You ask so many inappropriate questions and make so many creepy requests. It's been two years of you doing this on and off again, and I've been tired of it for a long time. I wish you would just leave me alone, like you always say you will, instead of crawling back to me a few days later like you always do.

Dear Anon 2,

I feel like I've been bothering you a lot lately. I know you don't inherently initiate conversations, but your answers have gotten shorter and less engaging over the past few weeks. I know you just got FE3H. I was hoping that'd help you out of this funk, and maybe it is and I'm just not seeing it because you're busy playing. Either way, I'm just worried about you. I hope all is well.

Miss Wendighost August 25th, 2019 9:00 AM

Dear Anon,

Did you think I was going to be like you? Did you think that I wasn't going to think things through as an adult? I'm almost 20, and yet here you are trying to act like I'm still a child. Did you think that shaming me for nothing was going to go down well? I'm sorry for not being what you wanted me to be. I'm my own person and not a clone of you.

Fairy August 25th, 2019 5:52 PM

Dear anon(s),

All I want to do is make you proud. I know that you love me unconditionally no matter what my flaws and faults are, but I still feel like I’ll never live up to the person you want me to be. The person you deserve to be proud of. It hurts so much. I often dream about what I’ll do when you die and I just don’t even see a future for myself knowing I’ve been nothing but a useless leech. I’m not anything to brag about, I’m not anyone successful.. I’m just me. And trust me, even if you wouldn’t change that for the world, I’d give up everything just for a chance to undo all of, ugh, this. I know you can’t see it but I’m gesturing to myself. I want to change all of this so you can one day have peace in knowing I’ll be okay without you. And I’m still not ready and I don’t think I ever will be.

alisaie August 25th, 2019 7:48 PM

Anon,

Glad you're gone. For the most part you were good, in fact arguably the best in some cases. But it was always me vs you and I could tell the divide. Especially since, now that you're gone the atmosphere between me and some others instantly changed. You also didn't help me when you really should've have as it was part of your job description.

Well, good luck in your future endeavors, regardless.

Treecko August 25th, 2019 9:21 PM

DA

The time we had together was one of the best moments of my life. While we just only playing around and never serious, the month of playing around was still fun. However now that it's over, now that you found a real serious relationship I've been struggling to get over you. I want to be okay with the fact that you love someone who isn't me. I want to be okay with the fact your in a serious relationship with someone that's not me. I want to be happy for you and whatever future lies with them. But I'm struggling to move on and accept that I'm not really with you and that you're with him. I wish I didn't get so annoyed at your tweets about him. I wish I didn't internally scream when I see you tweet every detail about your relationship but I do. I don't wanna be like that though. Sometimes I will wonder why you'd rather be with someone as unattractive as he is and not me and I hate myself for thinking that. Cause I know that thinking that is awful and that looks don't always matter and I don't wanna imply that I'm better looking and therefore you're better off with me, but I still do anyways. I hate that I'm like this and I don't wanna be like that. I'm sorry. I wish you two the best I really do. Maybe sometimes I wish it was me and that if I meet up with you at that bar it would be different. I know now I struggle with accepting I'm not with you but I wanna try to get to that point. I wanna to be happy and support you as a friend. And to love seeing you talk about him. I just hope I can get to that point someday. You were right I need to put myself out there. I think the first step is to make friends and then slowly find a romantic relationship and then maybe I can finally be over you completely and we can see each other as just friends again. Good luck to you buddy. Love your friend.

Sami September 1st, 2019 6:33 AM

DA

I think my entire world is about to collapse... or at least so it feels like. The past week has been worrisome to say the least. My dad's coughing has reached new levels of shit that scares the living crap out of me every day and night, my luck with trying to get financially back on track with a job is failing left right and centre and then my own personal stuff is a bit too hard to bear. Then again I haven't given up before, so why now?

CiCi September 1st, 2019 9:00 PM

Dear Anonymous,

Please stop kicking me while I'm down.

Hiroshi Sotomura September 2nd, 2019 3:08 AM

Dear anonymous,

You play some cool music but your personalities stink. The incident you implicated me in gives me PTSD to this day when I rummage through shots I took of unrelated bands.

Thanks for being a contributor to the shitty week I had two weeks ago.

Ys September 6th, 2019 9:14 AM

Dear Anonymous...
I don't really have anything against you, it's more the way other people treat you that irritates me more. Because people enable you. You have this sort of sweet/innocent/helpless front that make people feel like they need to protect you when in my own opinion you're perfectly capable of defending yourself and being strong, but the easy thing is to just play the helpless innocent. I've been there, actually. Maybe you don't realize it but you have a manipulative side to you that can be damaging to the ones on the other side. And my trust on certain people was broken and viceversa because of what you did. And yet I don't hate you because I'm not narrowminded and shallow and I see how caring and gentle you can be when you let go. I just don't know what about you is real and what is just the front you put. I want to forgive and move on, because I don't think it's doing me any good to be in the same place as you, at least for now. And I also need to give real life priority. So this is it (or should be, if my will is strong enough), at least for now.

TheBatPrince September 10th, 2019 8:23 AM

Dear old Friend,

I miss our old days of training together in Ninjutsu.

I hope to one day face off with you in the pouring rain, as we once did.

Sheep September 21st, 2019 11:42 AM

Dear A,

It’s been, what, five or so years now since you disappeared, and I still wonder how you’re doing and why you suddenly stopped coming online. I miss the times when we were young teens and talking about silly stuff at school. Hope you’re okay!

lilaë21 September 21st, 2019 1:35 PM

Dear Friend,
just wanted to let you know that I know how terrible I've been and how much I f-d it up. It's been more than two years now and even if I've long since accepted it, it still hurts. You had been always so kind and supportive for five long years, we always helped and trusted each other, and yet I could do that to you, guess in the end I wasn't that different from those other people that had hurt you so much. I miss you in my life even while I know everything's gone forever, and it's for your best. You deserved better, and hope that it's what you have now.

Miss Wendighost September 21st, 2019 7:14 PM

Dear Anon,

The main reason I'm getting a flu shot is for my own health. I know that you're concerned, but I'd rather be healthy than being sick for a week and miserable. Also, I'm an adult, so I can make these choices for myself, thank you very much.

TheGhostHunter

Taemin October 7th, 2019 8:06 PM

Dear Anonymous,

I'm really selfish, I guess. I was scared over something for months, but now it's changed and just because I was relieved I couldn't stop crying?? How weird... I'm really worried, still. I think you should do whatever you want to do, and I'm not gonna say a word otherwise. I'm just not very strong, but I will be if I have to be.

Miss Wendighost October 8th, 2019 7:02 PM

Dear Anon,

I wish I could email you. There's been a lot going on in my mind that can't wait a few weeks.

Sami October 14th, 2019 4:57 AM

Dear Anon,

im tired of life. This whole constant battle of trying to land a job and being denied one on every single attempt just kills me. Just now had a call of what probably was the closest thing to actually having a job, only for it to be denied in the very last step... luck is just one giant illusion at this point

Sektor October 15th, 2019 11:31 AM

Dear Anony,

I warned you, I told you, I swore up and down and you still continued. You lost, damages ran rampant, jobs were lost people were fired and still you continued to lay the blame on others. Well, you're on the chopping block and there is no sympathy from me, but more maniacle laughter and seeing yourself be put in the same position you yourself enjoyed placing others who had no cause to be there. Just . . . desserts.

Taemin October 16th, 2019 7:29 AM

Dear anon,

Thank you so much for letting me keep my Saturday off, THIS HASNT HAPPENED IN LIKE A YEAR OF MY LIFE. What a bro.

Dear anon,

I think I love you, and I feel guilty about it, honestly...

Dear anon,

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. I was hoping you'd stay, but admittedly I also am glad our schedules will go back to normal, hnn.

Dear anon,

Do you not care about anyone but yourself?? I really wonder sometimes.

WizardOfOdd October 19th, 2019 5:48 AM

Dear Anon,

I think my love is now a one sided one. You used to be a sunshine for me when it was hard times for me, now we not even in contact for quite awhile. I don't want it to end like this, but i don't want to continue. My heart ache more and more as i keep worrying about you, knowing full well you probably won't reciprocate it like you used to.

Dear Anon (2),

Thanks for being my best friends since high school, you're always there when i need someone. Sorry for being a bit of a prick back then. I still remember our 6 hours discord call over a game of Civilization VI while talking about all kinds of stuff. I hope i could find time to ride a train and pay you a visit, thanks brother

Mercurybro November 13th, 2019 3:27 PM

Dear Anon,

I hope the next few weeks go by fast, and we can hang out together again... life can overwhelm me, and you know how to calm me down. I just wish you wouldn't stir my pot so much. lol

Miss Wendighost November 17th, 2019 7:55 AM

Dear Anon,

I don't think I want to go with you to church for Christmas this year. It's not your fault, but it's just that the services seemed to have decreased in quality in recent years and don't really appeal to me anymore. I'm not a bad person, I just want to do something that would allow me to engage in something that I like with someone I enjoy being around, whether it be you or a friend. I hope that we can meet in the middle and compromise.

Sothis November 17th, 2019 4:49 PM

DA

You're a hypocrite and a flake and I hope that one day, you realize how you ditched all your friends for a person who was literally harassing me and feel bad about it, I hope you come to regret how you've treated me and the others and I hope you feel guilty because you need to, you need to have some conscience. You need to realize that you're spreading lies about me and blaming everything on me doesn't make you a better person and that we all see the truth.

Nah November 25th, 2019 7:36 AM

DA,

How much longer are you going to make me wait? I'm getting very fucking tired of waiting for something that you should've given me quite a while ago (and almost did, but I got screwed out of it through what was neither my fault nor yours). I've been very patient with this, but do understand that even my patience has its limits.

Sothis December 8th, 2019 7:58 AM

DA

You need to apologize to me, I don't care if you don't like me you hurt me and you put me in danger. You know this and you need to to take responsibility, you are an adult.

Neb March 13th, 2020 10:05 PM

Dear Anonymous 1,

I am terribly sorry for my past ignorance to you and others who identify the same way. In the past I used your strong opinions on a subject against you and acted morally superior. I was not. In reality I let online propaganda brainwash me into being intolerant and got offended whenever someone debated the subject in a heated manner. After becoming acquainted with people who identify similarly to you, I finally understood the struggles you all put up with every day. If I could delete all of those old posts, I would in a heartbeat. May more people become tolerant of other's differences.

From: Neb

Anonymous 2,

We have been friends for several months. I've watched movies with you, gave you feedback on your art, and talked endlessly about our shared hobbies. Back in December you deleted a message telling me you were interested romantically, but not ready yet. Had you given me the time to respond, I'd tell you it's okay and move on. I have been rejected by lots of people and rejected several back. The period of dread I typically get shortens each time. You don't need to worry about how I'll react. I'll always be supportive no matter what.

From: Neb

CiCi March 16th, 2020 12:05 AM

Dear Anonymous,

You can hate me if you want, but your PC cancel-culture lack-of-real-world-experience bs is what made me stop talking to you. You're an idiot.

Jacobtaylor April 17th, 2020 3:19 AM

I like talk to more but don't like talk in few situations.

Palamon April 19th, 2020 6:47 PM

Dear Anonymous,

Don't ever contact my sister, ever again.

Nanusmightyena April 19th, 2020 8:05 PM

Dear anonymous,
After 3 years of passive aggressive and emotional abuse from you I finally cut you off. When we first met you acted like a completely different person. But you’d cut me off the second someone else caught your eye because I wasn’t good enough. You’d come crawling back every time someone left you. Which happened 20+ times in the time span that I’ve put up with your sh*t. I’m probably gonna change my number so you officially will never be able to contact me again pretty soon. I finally realize I deserve so much better than you in my life. You’d curse me out, call me all kinds of names tell me how worthless I was to you, how you hated me and wished I was dead, you would hurt me on purpose. It would make you feel good to hurt me. I’m sorry your life was garbage but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be the person you are or treat me the way you did. All these people you dated would leave you and you’d realize how good I was to you... until someone else came along a month later and I was thrown away like trash until they dumped you. You took my kindness for weakness. My therapist told me that if I ever want to heal from the trauma I’ve experienced in my life I need to cut you off. Good riddance.

Pure Essence April 24th, 2020 12:12 AM

Dear multiple anonymouses,
You did it, I'm diagnosed with depression now... And it's not my fault, except for the first (maybe.) I never meant to insult you, you just took what I said the wrong way, and then used that to form a massive bias and get everyone you liked to bully me. I deleted one of my accounts because of you, and the only reason I don't delete the others is because I enjoy people there. If any of you try to contact me again, or even influence me again, I will report you to the sites you contact me on.
All I wanted was to have a good connection with artists, writers, and good people, not be the enemy of them.

VisionofMilotic June 16th, 2020 10:05 PM

Dear Anon,

I think you are being very immature, you and your crew tore up my mother's garden. You've broken her fountain, smashed all sorts of flowers and herbs, the window, the lights, and don't even seem sorry about it. You haven't apologized, and didn't even acknowledge that anything was wrong. We just saw all the damage ourselves after you drove off. I was only calling you to make sure you were aware of what happened, I thought that maybe you didn't know and would take responsibility for it, but you seem to be offended as if someone did something to you!

You say that you did the best you could and it's impossible not to knock things over. First, that isn't true. And Darian seems more like he just wanted to go home, was mad he was there, and didn't care where he put what. He literally appears to have just thrown piles of dirt around in his frustration, not concerned with where it landed. You're in someone else's home. I understand that mistakes happen, but you also need to treat this space with respect. I see food wrappers just thrown in the grass.

Second, we didn't ask you to do this. You volunteered. We could have got someone else, but you guys showed up with your truck and said you wanted to help. We were a little reluctant, but you insisted. I appreciate that. Just because you say you'll help put up the fence as a favor though doesn't mean that this is okay. Nobody is forcing you to be here, so if you put yourself here then you should be reliable.

I heard that you were in a bad mood, and it shows. I was honestly surprised what you texted back, trying to blame my mom for not directing you through this process. That's not true either, she was there, and showed you what was fragile. If this was overwhelming or confusing to you then you shouldn't have taken on the task, rather than venting your frustration on us now.

You say her things will grow back. No, not necessarily, they are badly damaged, and the statues and fountains and urns definitely won't be growing back. The repairs will cost us more money than we have saved. But it's about more than that, plants are also living things, she really loves and cherishes her garden, spends all of her time taking care of it, that is years worth of work, it makes her happy and because it expresses her it is honestly hurtful how you disregarded it. You would be upset if someone damaged something you had collected.You didn't even say you were sorry once.

I'm not going to even try to talk to you again any time soon until you can act more sensibly.

Neon Pink June 24th, 2020 8:38 PM

Dear Anon,

Who even are you? I mean, I saw you a few times from...don't even ask, and you're a very pretty girl. I heard what your name was a couple of times but I forgot your name. And you're voice and figure is so pretty. I went to a friend for advice and he said "Just because you think a girl is pretty doesn't mean you're sexuality attracted to her." and he's right. Eh, you're probably not even homo or bi anyway. From what i've seen the few times we've caught a glance or two, you're awesome. Don't ever stop being you. :)

Roni June 25th, 2020 3:58 AM

Dear Anon,

I literally don't know you and you literally don't know me. I saw your face featured in a glow up subreddit post and I just find you really...really...really physically attractive. Like, it's incredible to me that I've never been this infatuated by someone's outer beauty till I saw yours. None of my previous crushes could compare. Not even my girlfriend.

Can't say this anywhere else because the gf wouldn't find that too pleasing to hear. Heck even I don't. I just wanted to let this out now and let it go. You're ridiculously beautiful. End of story. Have a good life.

Harmonie June 26th, 2020 8:53 AM

Dear Anon,

I'd love to see you again. We were in wind ensemble and musical/opera pit a couple of years ago. You showed kindness to me without me even asking. Driving me to my apartment after wind ensemble and musical/opera rehearsals when it was dark. I'm embarrassed to say that I kinda developed a crush on you, and one day I awkwardly tried to flirt with you - something I hadn't done in ages.

Now that I've graduated and moved back to my home town, we are no longer seeing each other. Last December I came back into town for something I had to take care of, I was surprised to see you walking out of the gas station I pulled up into as I was leaving town. I wanted to say "Hi" and ask how you were doing, but you were already walking toward your car on the opposite side of the lot by the time I got up on the sidewalk, and I thought it would be awkward to call out to you having not seen you for a year and a half. But that was really quite a chance encounter, even though our university town is small. I wish I could have found a way to say hi.

Miss Wendighost June 28th, 2020 2:32 PM

Dear Anon,

It's been months since really talked. I remember it was sometime in March or April where I was the Elf Rouge and you were the Elf Cleric that secretly wanted to watch the world burn. It's kind of sad that the adventure fizzled out, and I would like to apologize for that. My mental health wasn't the best and I didn't want to bring all that baggage onto you. Things have improved since then, and I hope that we can possibly catch up someday.

- Cailana

Fairy August 27th, 2020 5:03 AM

Dear Anon,

thank you

- Fairy

LadyLurantis940 August 27th, 2020 1:05 PM

Dear Anonymous,

It hurt to leave a negative message here, so I rewrote it. To the many people I love: Well, love ya.

Roni August 28th, 2020 10:09 AM

DA,

I wish you hadn't been banned so quickly because I would've loved to have fun with your racist ass lmao.

User Anon 1848 September 3rd, 2020 11:53 AM

I still miss you. I know I shouldn't and I wish I didn't, but I do. <3

VisionofMilotic September 8th, 2020 7:10 AM

Dear anon,

I wish you wouldn't go to this event today where there will be hundreds if not thousands of people gathered. If it weren't a pandemic I wouldn't mind your going, but this is really an unnecessary risk to take. You're just going for something fun to do, it's not like you have to do this. I worry about you getting sick. I have tried asking you nicely, then begging, but you just keep shooing me off, and saying that I'm a worrywart, with that devil-may-care smile and laughter saying there's no chance you could get sick, and you'll have a mask. This is dangerous, and it's selfish. You're not only being carefree with your own health, but don't have the least bit of concern whether you come back infected and get me sick too, or Adrienne or Mark or anyone you care about. I wish I could just shake some sense into you.

DragonKing48 September 8th, 2020 9:57 AM

This one is gonna be different to lighten the mood lol.

Dear Anonymous, I forgot of your existence for a while. Then a random FB post brought you to my attention.

I knew then that this King would have to embark on the quest to find you, and no matter how many hours or even days it would take, I would not leave Glimwood Tangle without you.

I admit a large part of me wants to obtain your legitimate rare form Shiny, because I hunt the honor and glory that it shall bring upon my kingdom.

Someone once said "you just want the honor and glory that comes from battle, it's what drives men like you, it always has.", and that would not be incorrect in this case. I have found your Counterfeit form Shiny in a day, going on a week ago, but I will not stop and have not let up in my endless pursuit of you.

I have rotated through Dozens of Dragons by now, even started with a Drakloak that has since became a Dragapult through many battles. Sky the Trapinch I received from a close soldier has also been selected for this enduring fight.

I once began to hate you, thinking you were concealing yourself from me, but through frustration and questioning how would I ever obtain you...my mission never swayed nonetheless.

Now, I realize, my determination to track you down has been great fun, as it allowed me to catch 6 Shinies, one being a Swirlix with Modest Nature, AND Humble Mark, and last night brought 4 more in 2 or 3 hours, including 2 separate Shiny Morgrem.

So, by all means, you're alright by me, and this isn't over...far from it.

pkmin3033 September 25th, 2020 3:53 AM

*nervously revives thread because never posted here before*

DA,

I have a fair bit of respect for you, but you make me very, VERY uneasy. Don't ask me why; I don't really know either. Probably because I know I get on your nerves and I haven't decided if that bothers me yet or not.

-----

DA,

Even though we haven't spoken in over two years now - Jesus Christ, where did THAT time go? - I think about you often and I miss our conversations. We were never close but I have a lot of respect for you and I always enjoyed hearing your views...even if I didn't necessarily always agree with them. xD

-----

DA,

I have absolutely no idea what I did to be targeted by you - which is in itself is telling because I am usually acutely aware of the reasons why people don't like me - but if you could either keep it to yourself or have the courage to spread your vitriol where I'm actually going to see it, that'd be great. I mean, I don't *really* care about it much, but it's just common courtesy to tell someone that you don't like them. We can be polite about these things, can't we? I mean, I would do that for you...if we'd even exchanged two words, ever. Honestly...

-----

DA,

I enjoyed our conversation a lot and I'd really like it if we could do it again sometime; I'd like to get to know you better!
Thank god that this is anon and you probably wouldn't read it anyway because I am not good at these things sdfagahs

-----

DA,

Thank you for putting up with me for nearly four years...god knows what you see in me, because I sure as hell don't. xD;

Fairy September 25th, 2020 5:47 AM

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for putting my up with my dreadful silence for so long now. I still cherish our friendship and always will. I see you, I read your posts, and I wish the best for you everyday. One of these days I’ll change.. but you’ve probably heard that before. :(

colours September 26th, 2020 8:44 AM

da,

to be honest, even though i hate myself a lot, i was doing well being occupied in other matters as long as i wasn't thinking about my own well-being. unfortunately, depression and anxiety are back, and are making me wish now more than ever that i just dont want to live, because i'm very tired of being tired and tired of being drained. but considering that there's near zero likeable qualities about me anyway, i guess i can see why it's far easier to hate me than it is to tolerate me

ah well. i've grown used to this way of living. i wish i wasn't.

pkmin3033 October 5th, 2020 9:33 AM

DA,

Why does literally everything have to be a drama with you? Asking a reasonable question in a calm fashion does not warrant an immature and stroppy response. Please grow up. I would have thought you got all of that out of your system last week when you decided to have an excessively loud and heated argument and then threaten to kill yourself whilst I was working in the next room. Surely there's only so much drama a person can cause before they get tired of it...

--

DA,

One of these days I will work up the necessary courage to contact you directly...I'm really not very good at these things. Which is probably just as well, because nobody likes me anyway, haha. Best if I just think about it and never do it.

--

DA,

Thank you for being there for me the other day, I was an absolute wreck and it helped to have you there, as it always does. I hope I wasn't too unbearable, or at least no more unbearable than usual. I don't know...do I have degrees of unbearable? I'm sure I must, although not having degrees of unbearable wouldn't surprise me at all, because it's probably the reason nobody other than you (inexplicably) can tolerate me for longer than ten minutes at a time. The scales of who has helped whom must have tipped wildly in your favour with all the shit I've been trying and failing to deal with lately, at any rate. I'll try and do better.

--

DA,

You do realise we interact in a professional setting, right? That generally means that, regardless of the shit you have going on in your personal life, you treat people with respect and courtesy. You do NOT be a complete bitch when someone asks you for clarification, or why something hasn't been done. If you need time off to sort out your personal issues, take it, but don't take it out on us. You're damn lucky we don't interact very much, because I sure as hell wouldn't put up with it.

colours October 21st, 2020 3:08 AM

da,

i've long since buried the hatchet on my end that existed between us long ago. i can only wish you do the same, but i can see that you're too petty and caught up in making my life miserable to do that. ah well, you do you. really shows what kind of person you are at the end of the day. i'm wishing you the best. :>

VisionofMilotic November 3rd, 2020 2:21 AM

Dear anonymous,

Your doctor has told you to turn off the news, and I agree with him. You are getting way too emotional about events that are beyond your control, you won't talk about anything else. I can't steer the conversation in any other direction.

You literally lost your voice and couldn't talk from screaming into a megaphone for hours at a march. That should tell you to pull it back a bit. You want to start a debate with everyone you see, complete strangers even at the cash register. I won't say you are debating, because you are not really interested in hearing other views, and considering the pros and cons. You just seem in love with the sound of your own voice, and have to fill the space with it. You have always been high-strung, but I think the pandemic has ratcheted up your nervous energy to new levels.

Initially just thought all the texts you blew up my phone with daily were annoying, but after this weekend I am fucking afraid of you.
You know what you did when you came by the house Sunday, screaming and cussing in the yard. I think the neighbors saw you acting like this. I am so embarrassed. I called you yesterday and thought I could talk sensibly to you, and get you to come back with my car when you drove off in it, but you were irrational, it was word salad, and of course a deluge of self-pity. I tried to remain calm as you cried, and get you to do the right thing, but when you started calling people I love disrespectful names I lost all patience with you. I quicky disconnected, but I really wish I had stayed on the phone longer just to give you a piece of my mind to feast on. I have called your psychologist to try to get you under control. I blocked your phone number, and don't want to see you. Don't come by. You will be left on the porch for the dogs to bark at. We're changing the locks too.

User19sq November 14th, 2020 3:51 PM

Hey Anonymous,

I've pondered so many times over calling the police, but I ultimately can't. The more I think of it, the more I realize that the ensuing medical bills will stack up. You'd leave me to pay for them, even though you're responsible for the fracture. Maybe I just can't think straight anymore.

Maybe the fact that you won't allow me drinking water is affecting my psyche. I personally think it began to slip when you put padlocks on anything housing food. I get it, you want to constantly play the victim. That's the only reason I can think of why you're torturing me like this. Normal people would have helped me get back on my feet, lent me the tools and skills I need to get a job so that I can buy my own food with my own money and eventually leave. But you go out of your way of starving me, and the ensuing consequences become your fuel when you tell your friends about how you're "going through a lot".

While you sink away on your cellphone, you've left me in immeasurable pain. I can't even walk for more than a minute anymore. My teeth have begun to crumble. Breathing has become a commodity that I can't afford. With the water you keep locked away from me, I think it could banish my severe chest and joint pains, as well as my persistent cough. But I guess that's far too much to ask for.

Maybe I'm wrong in accusing you of using me as a crutch. Maybe you just hate me. I don't know if it was how my constant crying from being bullied made you weary of me, or your homophobia just became too much for you to handle until you decided to paint me as some unlovable freak. All I know is that the sound of your voice - whether it's blaming me for feeling the need to eat or you just crying for the first time in a decade - makes me want to lash out violently at the closest thing near me. I sometimes fantasize about smashing that plasma big-screen you got, getting that cathartic rush of undoing four-plus years' worth of your brutality. And I wouldn't feel any guilt. With all that money you have, you can just buy another one, like you've done in the past.

I'm typing this nonsense out in some forum site full of menageries because of you. You don't talk to me; you talk at me. The most help I can get is writing out a letter with the intent of it being forgotten, never to be read by anyone here. Congratulations. You've driven me insane.

I think I'll go back to complaining in another year or two. With little food and no water, I haven't the energy to spare for grievances. I wonder what part of my body you will have broken by the time I decide to come back to this lonely place.

I'm sorry you were ever born,
-Useless

Setsuna November 14th, 2020 9:40 PM

Dear Anonymous,

Please look my way sometimes. Notice me and admire me like I admire you. I know you have your reasons, but stop throwing me aside. I'm trying really hard, okay? Why won't you notice?

colours November 18th, 2020 6:11 AM

da,

i'm well aware you aren't the only one who probably hates me. i hate myself, too. i struggle to name even good qualities about myself, so there's that. perhaps i am an unlikeable person. or maybe that's just depression doing its song and dance again, this time its roots growing ever deeper in my psyche. i do wonder what my friends see in me that i'm unable to see in myself. it's gotten bad to the point where i'm stunned to receive compliments these days.

ah well, such is my life. hope you're doing well, though!

Tsutarja December 14th, 2020 5:45 PM

da,

I'm so tired of you saying shit from your perspective and then portray it as if it represents the entire family. you've made my parents upset tonight and it's your fault. don't even fucking pin this on them like it's their fault. it's your own damn insecurity that is completely fucking unnecessary and all it does is cause trouble where trouble isn't needed.

i pray that you do not feel this way about us, and i will pray that we can be one happy family at christmas time with no trouble at all and can have a great time together. but please stop it with this madness because i don't want anybody to be harmed from actions you caused that do nothing but start fires for people that do not need to be dragged into the most petty nonsense

Roni December 14th, 2020 7:22 PM

Dear Anonymous,

maybe actually come to the office like you should before you lecture me on work ethics buddy. and if you honestly think that designing an entire magazine isn't that hard, i'd love to see you try to do it, while managing 4 other projects at the same time. just because you've been in this company for 10 years, doesn't mean you get all these privileges and belittle/dismiss others. it's no wonder the company's employee turnover rate's been so high...

also your hair is awful please try another style for goodness' sake.

Setsuna December 14th, 2020 8:33 PM

Dear Anonymous,

We haven't talked for a week. But every time I try to approach I'm just so uncertain. I've got no clue what you're going through because you're so stuck on the idea of never telling anyone and it frustrates the hell out of me. We've been talking to each other but we can only keep smiling for so long before we have to talk to each other about you. We're all worried for you and you're not helping. Stop shutting us out.

Why would you say that I've helped and supported you and then turn your back to me and hide things from me? I want to yell at you and say you can't complain about feeling like shit if you're not willing to tell people why. But I won't, I'll keep my mouth shut because I care for you, and I know you get upset when I try to make you talk. I hate worrying for you when you're never going to give anything back to me.

God I miss you so much. A day doesn't go by where I don't miss you. But it kind of feels like a sin, because... at this point I may as well not know you anymore.

Nah December 16th, 2020 1:27 PM

DA,

Can you please shut the fuck up about how bad your white boomer ass has it already? You're not even bitching and moaning directly to me night after night and I'm sick of it. I really don't think you understand how good you've got it and how all your stress would just go away if you realized this. You're a year away from retirement. Your fellow neolib Joe Biden just got elected president. Coronavirus vaccines are happening. You've had a nice-paying, secure job since before I was born. You're from the generation that's arguably had it better than any other living generation in the U.S.

just stop

Roni December 16th, 2020 9:20 PM

Dear Anonymous,

just wanna wish you merry christmas, even though we're still not in speaking terms even after all these months. you still have too much pride to apologize to me and see the things you've done wrong, and i'm definitely not gonna make the first move in apologizing since, well, i've been doing that for years on end.

i understand that we just don't mesh, and that's fine. let's just stay silent room mates if that's the most peaceful we can be. honestly it really is. i've barely had to worry about you for these past months i'm actually really liking it. we're ghosts to each others' lives, completely oblivious to what's going on with each other, and i'll totally take that over being mentally abused by you on a constant basis, and having to tip-toe around you pretty much 24/7 just to not get on your bad side.

have a good holiday season, and i hope it stays this way.

RadEmpoleon December 17th, 2020 10:23 PM

Dear anonymous,

Please stop hounding me over college application things... yeah I understand my brother finished all his college application things before his senior year started. That's because he only applied to 1 school and got accepted before his senior year started. That doesn't mean that I have to finish all my college application things before my senior year started! Unlike him, I'm actually applying to more than 1 college, as you're generally supposed to. And how do you expect me to know how to write a college application essay without learning how to write one? Everything's turned in now, so stop yapping about it. And for the love of all things good, stop asking me to do all these psyducking scholarships. I understand they're important and that I should apply for some, but if you keep asking me and I keep not doing it, then maybe you should do one with me to ensure that I am at least trying to get scholarships. I'd rather you watch me do them than to keep saying it over and over, because I think we both know that hasn't been effective in the past few months.

And don't think I didn't take the hint as I was trying to write another college essay when you were saying "oh, you should say 'I like to dress up as Pokémon!' I'm kidding, they'll think you're weird."

Roni January 3rd, 2021 9:42 AM

Dear Anonymous,

happy birthday! sorry i missed it for the 3rd year in a row, i was busy with something else as per usual. and uh, sorry if i still kinda find it awkward to hang with you and your family.

honestly you and your kin have been nothing but kind and sweet to me for the last few years, and i truly do appreciate that. really i do. i may not show it well, but i assure you i'm grateful. it's just...

you're my biological father, and you were never there for me for my entire childhood and then some. you had a relationship with my mom while you already had your own family. you birthed me while you already had kids with another woman. even after all the good you've done, it still doesn't bode well with me y'know? because of you mom had to raise me by herself, and when she passed you didn't even have to guts to enter the room where we held her funeral service. at least to show yourself to us and her.

it's probably water under the bridge to you guys, but i still haven't gotten over it. the realization that i was born out of adultery stings me pretty bad to this day, and i aim to be nothing like you in that department. i've got my eyes set on one girl and one girl only. i don't know i mean, i might even have to thank you a bit for solidifying my goal to be truly loyal towards my partner? but even that's pretty weird ugh. i don't really know what to say...

i just wanna make it clear that i don't hate you. but that doesn't mean that i necessarily like you either. perhaps with more time i'll learn to move on with all this. hope you understand.

anyway, happy birthday again.

VisionofMilotic January 17th, 2021 8:19 AM

Dear anonymous,

You are a narcissist and a manipulator, and you haven't changed, despite what I have been assured of for years. You said some very inappropriate and hurtful things to me about someone who means the world to me, and it concerns other people that are friends to me who I love as if they were my own family, none of whom were present to defend themselves.

This is not the first time that you have come to me with a story about how others wronged you, how Joe Blow was your friend who betrayed you by supposedly swindling you out of money for work you did together, how John Doe cussed you out for no reason, how Jane Doe was going to marry you then ran off and left you after a month, Joe Schmo wouldn't help you when you were sick, so-and-so is a child abuser, how Jane Roe slept with half of the town by your account. Anything you say has become suspect to me. I wonder if I have joined the ranks in the long list of villains you have created because I have stopped returning your calls.

You alternate between painting yourself as the poor victim of the story or hero, always blameless whichever role you take. You greatly exaggerate, jump to conclusions, straight out lie or deliberately omit important information if there is a disagreement between you and another, and get others listening sympathetically and fighting for you. You seem to feed on the pity like a drug.

I'm not the only one who takes your tales with a grain of salt. Even Adrienne isn't taking you seriously, she saw you first hand acting like a fool, trying to stir up a conflict over her sister when she was sick, and you should have been understanding instead of trying to make everything about you. I feel bad that listening to you with blind trust made me believe the worst of Chris and Brenda, only to discover apparently it was not true at all. It was terrible rumor for you to spread about him.

Now you're relaying some gossip to me about John and Fergie from a woman I have never even met. It's hard for me to believe this of two people I admire because you say someone who I literally don't even know claims they were lovers once, over the person that I do know and trust who denies it. What bothers me the most though is that I can think of no good reason why you would share all this with me to begin with, which is what makes me distrust and resent you more than anything. This is something that whether it is true or false happened between a couple years ago when I was not present to see it, and it does not pertain to me in any way. Yet you made sure I heard all about it out of the blue when I confronted you about your own behavior towards me. What's that got to do with anything? It's just deflection.

Maybe you thought by defacing her it would get me on "your side" of the fight since you came to see her and had the outburst in my space, or maybe you just thought it would make you feel sorry for you if I thought there was some "cause" for you to be angry, and act abusively. Regardless, the only person you degraded that day was yourself. What you are doing is a tactic called triangulation, and that you would use that on me has broken any trust between us.

This is not the first time that I am the pawn you use, though you say how much you care, you hurt and humiliate me. All the bad memories of you have come back vividly. You are so repulsive to me.

I wish I had never opened up to you, but you prey on people who are in bad shape. My heart was telling me no for years, but you're persistent, you kept trying to visit me for years, and asking for my phone number, and I was tired of being gaurded, but no, I was right to be so with you. There's always some mess and drama with you. You don't give without trying to obtain something in return, even if it's just power over people.

You need help, It's not others like you claim. It's always really been you.

You realize that I'm not buying your first excuses, and think by returning the material things you took from me that we can reset and pretend none of this ever happened. No, we can't go back to the way it was, you have revealed too much of who you really are. I don't want to talk to you. Go tell your sob stories to Alicia or Malcolm instead, because I am done.

Setsuna January 22nd, 2021 11:34 PM

Dear Anonymous,

I know I'm writing this because I'm sort of heated right now. But I hope the online celeb you simp for is worth it.
I'd be the biggest hypocrite to be upset at someone for what they like but the more you talk the more about her the more I feel like I'm glad I lost interest in that kind of thing myself.

I just don't want to be second place to someone whose name you don't even know.

You say you have your reasons but it's not like I'm even able to know if you're doing anything about those reasons. Or if you care.
You're sending me mixed signals and my heart can't take it. I'm stuck between frustration and not wanting to let it out at you.

Sothis January 24th, 2021 2:19 PM

DA

I want so badly to apologize to you. I was not a good friend and I caused you a lot of stress. I hope that one day I can, and you can read it.

Mercurybro January 24th, 2021 3:25 PM

Dear Anonymous,
When you have a lot on your mind that is important to you, the hardest thing to do is to prioritize.
  • You need to focus now so that you can pay attention to other things later.
  • Follow up on the other things that were still important to you.
  • If you sacrifice your health and well-being for anything or anyone that will bring you strength, happiness, or ease of mind, rest afterwards.
  • Think with a clear head.
  • Use your whiteboard, erase the list side daily

RadEmpoleon February 17th, 2021 3:56 PM

Dear anonymous,

I know my physics grade is bad. So stop reminding me. He assigns too many alt assignments and it's hard to keep up with them. (For some context, my teacher usually assigns a new one every day or two. And an alt assignment is worth 35% of the overall grade.) Whenever I tried to work on one, I would get distracted and end up not completing it. And then after a day, it automatically goes in the grade book as a 50. So there's no point in me trying to finish it after the fact. I just don't feel motivated in this class anymore. That's my main problem. It's not that I'm struggling in the class solely because I'm not understanding the material (although that is part of the reason). I'm struggling because I can't motivate myself to do the work. And it's not just physics. I just can't motivate myself to do most of my school work anymore. It's hard to focus on school work when I'd rather be playing a game or doing something fun. I know I can't just give up on my grades because then I'll lose scholarships, but that's pretty much the only thing keeping me going...

Although I don't think my mental health is an excuse for bad grades... let me wipe my tears and think of a better excuse.

Roni February 17th, 2021 6:38 PM

DA,

thanks for the kind words, but no. i'm fairly certain i have a problem, and am not normal like y'all. i'm truly sorry for ghosting you guys, it was a low point for me and my fight or flight response for that is always to escape. i've never learned how to confront properly, especially face-to-face. it terrifies me. i'd like to get help, like you suggested. i do hope it won't be as expensive as i think it will be...

and yeah don't ever worry about any of this happening anymore within the next few months. i'm gonna talk to the boss, and i'm pushing through finally with resigning. i've found that difficult to do for some reason, but things have reached a breaking point of sorts and i need to push through with it. i cannot stay here for 2 years, it's not good for my wellbeing. weren't you thinking of resigning too? anyway, that's a topic for another day. i hope you understand.

i don't say this to you much because i find it hard to show emotion and be vulnerable to you guys (thanks to several instances in the past), but i do love you. don't forget that.

bg February 17th, 2021 8:51 PM

Dear Anonymous,

i actually don't remember the first time we've ever met. I only can remember your bright eyes, soft hair, and beautiful face. And your voice, how adorable was your voice...
And i think i will never be able to forget that. We were so close, and i opened my heart to you. What a nice mistake i made there.
I still can't believe you did that to me, and you would never understand how much i loathe you for that. I deeply trusted you, but you used me like a puppet. And you were the cruel puppeter.
But i thank you for that. You made me realize how i should change this world, a world of lies, pain and suffering. A world where people like me will never live at peace. Maybe if we never got apart, i would have never been part of a community as large as this one. What's even worse, i would have never become A mango.
We would have settled up and make our own family, as i dreamed a long time ago. But what's the worth in that? What would we do after then? Live and work until our bodies break down? No. I was never able to deal with that. I will never be able to live like that. I won't stand for that loophole of idiocy. It doesn't make sense for me.

I can feel each day how my body and mind slowly decay. I no longer remember the time we spent together, and to this day, i miss you so much. But you don't love me anymore. You chose them over me. Maybe one day we will find ourselves and solve our differences. Or maybe i'll die before that.
A friend of mine told me that, when a relationship is over, I should let the other one be. Maybe I should. You're very happy, after all. Maybe i should only dedicate to find my happiness among the mango trees. Sometimes, i even feel like A mango and the many other stupid names i've assumed are only a facade, a mask made to hide my pain from this society that despises me so much. But i don't know how much time i can remain numb. I want to scream and cry and make them, all of them, pay for what they did to me, to us - but killing doesn't solve anything. Killing will never be a solution nor a choice for me.

I often dream with a garden, or a place, you know, filled with those black flowers, and i see a monster in there. His hands and clothes are filled with blood, and he's crying blood as well. And i'm horrified, because i know i am that monster of my nightmares. The monster i would have turned into if i chose that path of hatred. Maybe i should stop reading all those sci-fi books you hated. They are only warping how i see myself.

Some time after we broke up (did we ever break up? We never were a couple) , however, I met some fantastic people in this community of monsters (or are they creatures?) that are stored in pockets, and i'm grateful to them because my life felt less heavy thanks to their advices and comments. I, at last, didn't feel alone. I can see the monster growing bigger, but that won't stop me from searching my purpose on this world; and, of course, that won't stop me from finally find the happiness i have neglected for so much time.

On the other side, days have been longer since we broke up. College is hard. I made a handful of friends there, but they don't trust me. I can see that in their eyes. Teachers are awful, you have no idea. They only serve to the money they gain. Then this quarantine crap came, and i haven't seen you anymore since then.

I believe I'll never forget you, my beloved. But letting you go is the best thing I can do for you, and i hope you will, someday, realize that was the best gift i gave to you. Maybe you will forgive me, but that's up to you.

If you ever need me you know where to find me. I'll always be in the vast beach, drowning in my thoughts. After all, the ocean is all the company i can ever afford to have, at least for now. Maybe i should visit the real Mariana Trench someday. I've heard it's deep enough for anyone to reach the bottom.

And remember, i will always love you. You're still the best partner i could've ever met. And thank you so much for trying to love me, even if it didn't last.

RadEmpoleon March 20th, 2021 5:44 AM

Dear anonymous,

Thanks for testing positive for Covid! Because of you not following basic safety measures, I have to quarantine too even though I have the capacity to follow the rules. And guess what? Not only is this the third time I've been contact traced this year, but I also have championships for winter guard next week and I can't go because of you. You wouldn't even realize (or care) how much this hurts me. Winter guard has been life-changing to me, and the best part of high school for me. We already missed championships last year because they were cancelled from Covid. Last year we had a great show, and I think this year it was even better. Now I get to disappoint my team and coach because I can't go to championships. This year was already bad enough, but this is the cherry on top. Thanks a lot dumb bitch.

You'd think that if you went to get a Covid test, you wouldn't go to school just in case it comes back positive. But I guess you or your mom who works at the school wouldn't have thought of that.

colours April 13th, 2021 5:17 PM

da,

you've really pissed me off today. so, here's the thing. i'm generally a very patient person, but there are certain things that people do that near-instantly set me off. one of those things is making me feel stupid, the other is being condescending and patronizing. and holy SHIT, are you good at both. have you forgotten that i've only been here three weeks?? or maybe it soared over your head that i've had very little training for what i do (i mean, not that it takes a whole lot to be honest, but im still not sure where most of the kitchenware goes), and yet you're acting like i'm acting incompetent on purpose.

this makes me not want to come to you and ask you anything. when we first met, you said you don't sugarcoat and blah blah blah, you "keep it real", etc. i get it. i've met personality types that are like that and i appreciate honesty and bluntness. thing is, there's a difference between being honest but respectful and just being a giant douchebag and i feel like you've taken the whole "i'm being real" to an extreme that it crosses a line. with me, at least.

just like today, i won't put up with it going forward. i will bitch at whoever i will need to bitch at if you continue to do this. yes, you're stressed. i get it. i dont envy the cooks' jobs at all, especially since you guys have to continuously prep for banquet after banquet. it's a lot. that's still no excuse to an absolute asshole if there's a misunderstanding in instructions. the appropriate thing to do would be to work out the miscommunication. but no, you decided to chide me. that, in tandem with the absolute passive aggressive body language is really grating and again, i'm not putting up with it.

if we're going to work together in the mornings, let's show each other respect. i won't settle for any less.

Arcaneum April 21st, 2021 5:06 PM

Dear Anonymous,

You bring a smile to my face when we talk every day, even if it's just a line or two. You have ALWAYS made me smile when you're around and be upset when you are not here. I think... this want is manifesting into something a bit more and I'm scared, because I want to further our relationship but the last time this happened, said person stopped talking to me. The biggest heartache is that even if you read this, not only will you not realise it applies to you, but even if you did, you most definitely don't reciprocate the same feelings and I am having a hard time accepting that.

------------------------------------------

Dear Anonymous,

The fact that you apologised for rubbing your situation in my face when you know my "situation" was actually very nice to hear. Because it has been incredibly hard as your friend to support you and sympathise with you about your issues, when they revolve around things such as being able to pay out for your new house deposit straight away, spending several thousand pounds on a new kitchen and about your incredibly well-paying job. I am so glad to hear that you have acknowledged that perhaps things aren't REALLY that bad for you. Unfortunately it's not really been a recent thing, these feelings that I've harboured and kept from you.

I've held onto these since I've been 14, so nearly 17 years. 17 years of watching you progress and achieve and suceed whilst I sacrificed EVERYTHING to make sure that you didn't enter a complete state of depression. Shielding you as the kid in school who was bullied, singled out, labelled a freak. I stood up for you, I took abuse for you and I even took literal hits because I care SO much for you. I ruined my academia because I wanted to spend more time with you because I knew you had no one but me. I ruined relationships because I made sure you were still very much a pivotal part of my life and people could not deal with that. I stood up other friends because I enjoyed spending time with you more. You flourished into this great person with an amazing job, an amazing wife, a really comfortable economic situation and I am here unsure of where I'll be living in June, no career prospects and honestly I'm just broken.

I don't know if I can deal with this anymore but I... I can't tell you all this. Not right now and I don't think I ever could, but I need to outlet it somewhere because I am imploding by the day. The more you talk to me about how excited you are to move into your new home, the more I want to tell you to shut up. Not because you're malicious or because I do not care; but the opposite. It upsets me that I am in this situation so much that the idea of sitting in that new house is enough to make me want to cry. In a selfish way, how have I, destined for so much, been reduced to this whilst you who were the complete opposite, did not?

Again it's not your fault, you're not a horrible person, I still dearly love you but I need to get this out somehow otherwise I dread to think what I would do.

Sheep April 23rd, 2021 1:13 AM

Dear A,

Still no idea where you are and why you stopped signing on like... 7 years ago now? Hopefully you're well. Last I remember you were graduating and preparing for your Masters. Hopefully it worked out well. Sometimes I randomly think about where you are and whether you have kids or something now, since we've both grown so much. I wish you didn't disappear :< One of these days I'll have the guts to actually search you on Facebook or something to see if you're around on social media, but it would be so weird to find you actively there knowing you stopped talking to us for some reason.

Taemin April 23rd, 2021 9:44 AM

Dear Anonymous,

Is it weird to wish you a happy birthday after we haven't spoken since you left work? I wonder how you're doing, especially with your situation.

Dear Anonymous,

Hmmm, I still miss you.

Starlight April 24th, 2021 7:36 AM

Dear anonymous,

You are my best friend in the whole world, and I love you more than you could possibly imagine.

We were soul mates. Whenever anything happened in our lives, good, bad, big, or small, it was each other we wanted to share it with straight away. You were the only person that knew even a fraction of what I've been through, because we told each other everything. Whenever anything happens, I still grab my phone to call you, even after all this time.

But I can't call you, or text you, or see you, or hug you. Not anymore.

I hurt you sweetheart, and I'm so very sorry. It was my job to protect you, and it was me you needed protecting from all along. I'm sorry, really, really, truly, sorry ;(

I was put in an absolutely impossible position, and was left with only one option. I actually done it for you - the alternative was just completely unthinkable - but you will never know that. All the therapists keep telling me the blame is on other people, and that I done the right thing, that I "sacrificed" myself for you. I can't begin to tell you how much I despise that term. It doesn't matter why I did it, only the fact that I hurt you. I hurt my best friend. I HURT YOU. I will never forgive myself for that.

The worst thing is that I can't even tell you any of this. Partly because it would undo everything, and put you at risk, but mainly because you ghosted me, and I can't see you, or even speak to you ever again. I can't tell you how much I love you, I can't tell you how sorry I am, I can't even say goodbye, and it's ripping my heart into tiny little pieces, every single second of every single day. I don't blame you, I always told you to cut toxic people out of your life, and you did just that.

I can't even read our old messages to remember the good times anymore. Last March my life changed forever. I didn't just think I might die, I was absolutely certain I wouldn't make it. I used what I thought were my dying words to tell my partner how much I loved her. Then I asked her to say my goodbyes, and to take my phone out of my handbag, open it with my finger, and delete our entire chat history. She understood why. I promised I would take your secrets to the grave, and I kept that promise, but I lost the last little part of you I had left in the process.

Apparently there are no words for this. Normal grief doesn't apply because you're still alive, even ambiguous grief doesn't fit because you aren't missing. Nobody has even the remotest clue how to help me. Time is all they can suggest, but I have been crying my eyes out every single day, for a year and a half, and time is not even making a dent in the pain. Not having you in my life is by far the hardest thing I have to deal with each and every day. I'm so completely lost right now, and I simply don't know what to do. I can't see any escape, just an eternity of heartache and tears.

Part of me wishes you could read this, because I so desperately want to tell you how sorry I am, but in a way, I'm kind of glad you don't know everything, because at least you have closure. It's black and white for you, I'm evil and that's that. You can move on with your life and hopefully be happy, and I want you to be happy so, so, much.

Life was something we always thought we'd face together, hand in hand, us against the world. It didn't matter what happened, or what anyone done to us, because we always had each other. Now you're going it alone, but I know you'll do fine, because you are so damn incredible.

I hope part of you still remembers the good times, and that deep, deep, down, somewhere in your heart, you know how much I love you. Maybe one day you can even think of me and smile.

Go and change the world sweetie. I love you forever <3

Arcaneum April 29th, 2021 5:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabinov (Post 10341709)
Dear Anonymous,

You bring a smile to my face when we talk every day, even if it's just a line or two. You have ALWAYS made me smile when you're around and be upset when you are not here. I think... this want is manifesting into something a bit more and I'm scared, because I want to further our relationship but the last time this happened, said person stopped talking to me. The biggest heartache is that even if you read this, not only will you not realise it applies to you, but even if you did, you most definitely don't reciprocate the same feelings and I am having a hard time accepting that.

Dear Anonymous,

You did it again... apart from this time you said something more. I'm still unsure how to process it all. Something that seemed impossible now seems more possible but... someone help I don't know what to do.

Aslan April 29th, 2021 11:51 PM

Ooh I haven't written a DA in so long... hmm..

DA,

I wonder how you've been these days? We talked so much when we were first getting to know each other that after a while, the conversation naturally ran its course and I remembered thinking that if I did think of anything new to talk about, that I would come back and recontact you. Some time after that, you decided you did not want to be on social media and deleted your accounts so I have no idea how to reach out to you now. Everyone says I missed an opportunity by not asking you out and that I should have just gone for it but I shut down and panicked at the first sign of slight mutual interest. I thought this entire time that you were just someone I wanted to be friends with but when I realised I felt more than that, I distanced myself to give myself time to think over what I was feeling and decided that I would process those feelings if it ever came to something more and you made a move to take it further. I would have said yes in retrospect if you had asked me out but I was too nervous to move anything forward myself and I regret letting our conversation drift for no reason. Hope we can reconnect again one day, I still don't know where I stand with what we are but I do know that I had a lot of fun getting to know you and would be happy to see you again. :D

DA,

In a few years, looking at this will be like a time capsule perhaps! Everything is so uncertain right now in regard to life. It's daunting and I don't know what to do. Hopefully you make the right choices and everything works out. :)

Arcaneum May 9th, 2021 2:49 PM

Dear Anonymous,

It gets harder to talk to you every day and not blurt out what I'm feeling. I think over the next few days it's going to come out, and I'm going to regret it.

mikey May 9th, 2021 4:12 PM

DA,

You used to complain that people from PC never made an effort to keep in contact with you. I don't know why, after all these years, you suddenly have stopped talking to me. I've done nothing to you to be treated this way. I have continuously checked in on you over the years, and have always enjoyed talking to you. Clearly something has happened, because you seem like a totally different person... one I honestly do not care for. If I have done something to you, or if you just don't want to be friends with me anymore, I wish you had the decency to tell me to my face instead of ignoring my messages and playing it off as a joke on Discord. Not that it matters at this point, as I have blocked you.

I don't need someone that I have always been nice to treating me like nothing.

FullMetal_Ashheart May 11th, 2021 8:43 AM

DA,

I wish I can tell you how much I miss you, but at the same time, I mostly think how much I'm better off without you in my life. And I did notice how you did try to reach out to me on my birthday several weeks ago, but I didn't know how to approach you given how many times you hurt me. Ever since you and Mom split up, I did love the times I was able to spend time with you. But, what you didn't know that even right around the time after I turned 18, you started making up excuses on why you weren't going to see me. And honestly, you had no idea how much you really hurt me when not only you said you supposedly you had cancer, which I found later on that you lied about it, and basically sent me back to live with Mom. You basically used me and lied to me. And not to mention, I had to have Mom contact you about you needing to stop using my social security number to claim me on your taxes when I haven't lived with you since 2011 and I had to start filing my own taxes when I finally gotten a job. And you have no idea how much you hurt Cameron as well. He's got to the point where he gets better when someone like our great-grandma or even Mom mentions about you. And honestly, I don't blame him at all. And truth be told, I wish I can talk to you and tell you that I am Bi, but since you're one of those people that would rather have me be with a man instead of anyone I want to be with, then there's really no reason to tell you that. Ever since Mike stepped into mine and Cameron's lives, he's been more of a father than you really ever were. But, it's like.. I want you in my life again, but at the same time, I don't want to get hurt again. Just.. give me some time and I'll reach out to you when I am in a more better state of mind.

Meganium May 18th, 2021 10:14 AM

Hi Anonymous,

A well-known friend of mine, whom I trust with all my life during my time at university, gave me the last issue of the newspaper for the semester. Apparently the editor was highly praised for what she had done throughout her time and I heard there was some...how would you say... "trash talk" about me leaving midway throughout the semester. The person who wrote the article should be ashamed.

I resigned gracefully from my position, not vanished, as the article stated. I never "left the team hanging in the middle of a meeting." I never rejected an offer to return to the newspaper team simply because my position was immediately filled. Both the faculty advisor and the majority of the staff wanted to get rid of me...simply because they never liked how I wanted to go for a legit journalistic path. They flat out rejected my idea of a digital outlook simply because we "don't have the budget for it." Yet we have the budget to pay the editor $1,000 a month.

I had the tools to succeed. All you cared about is keeping tradition, but this "tradition" is so old that it's not prevalent anymore. I moved a school newspaper to digital-only years ago and today it is still successful. Y'all just too worried about paying the editor, you greeds.

Your article about the editor's farewell was a slap in my face and y'all should be ashamed. Y'all never approached me to apologise back then but nope! Y'all wanted to go towards a different path of journalism...a path of FAILURE. If I was still running the show, I would have won awards for the team by now.

Your newspaper is a fucking joke.

Sincerely, a graduate who is doing a lot better than 95% of the college newspaper staff.


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