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LGBTQ+ Alliance (◕‿◕)♡
welcome to the new LGBTQ+ ALLIANCE (°(°ω(°ω°(☆ω☆)°ω°)ω°)°) LGBTQ+ is a term used to represent the community of people of GRSM (gender, romantic and sexual minorities) all over the world. Allies are welcome to join too! In this club, you are free to: - Chit-chat - Vent (however, remember to not break PokéCommunity's rules regarding content) - Invite discussion about your own gender identity or sexual/romantic orientation - Share LGBTQ+ related news, events and resources - Spread positivity and kindness (including wholesome LGBTQ+ memes!) In this club, you are not allowed to: - Be toxic - Gatekeep (aka try to invalidate somebody's identity or "membership status in the community") - Be homo/trans/enby/a-phobic. If you hold those views, we kindly ask you to take them elsewhere. To join, simply fill in the form below and post it in this thread. You may skip any parts of the form you do not wish to disclose or don't feel are relevant. This is just for fun and for the sake of kinship - don't feel like you're forced to bare your personal stuff to us in public! Username: Pronouns: Gender: Romantic orientation: Sexual orientation: Anything you want to add / general intro! : current t o p i c (☞°ヮ°)☞ ☜(°ヮ°☜) Planning any goals to reach or wishes to hopefully come through in 2023? m e m b e r list ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )ノ confused_piplup_ Ace Trainer Slash Aisling AMP017 Aslan Bahamut Caite-chan Cosmega Cubism Doctor Eleanor Fairy Galaxy Hyzenthlay Hybrid Trainer Janp Lady Bisharp Lillipup03 MadisonSteel Megan Neb Neon Pink ninestarryskies Ninetales NipahRika NobleJanobii Nox Palamon pastelspectre _pheebee Pixel64 punishedfelix RadEmpoleon Rose Oni Roni Sandalphon Scourgekku Starseed tokki211 UmbreonsShadow Virtualpet VisionofMilotic ZeoStar |
Count me in!
Username: Fairy Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk. |
Welcome to the club, Fairy!! I shall add you when I am on a computer next.
I'll make an intro myself too, I guess. Username: Adventure (or Astronaut) Pronouns: prefer they/them, but I'm ok with he/him too Gender: a mishmash of non-binary/agender/fluid exploration. currently liking the microlabel "Genderfrithen", meaning I'm sort of fluid between weak masc and fem genders but never fully man or fully woman. I'd say non-binary unless I knew somebody would understand the microlabels though. Duskian enby, also. Romantic orientation: Biromantic, preference for men Sexual orientation: Gray ace, any more detail is only my own business imo Relationship status: yea |
Username: Cubism
Pronouns: They / Them Gender: None, agender Romantic orientation: Biromantic Sexual orientation: Bisexual, Omnisexual, w/ preference for women Relationship status: Single |
cube's hair is still single?? how
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Username: Eleanor
Pronouns: I seem to be ok with both he/his, she/her, and they/them (use this last one when in doubt, I suppose...) Gender: cisgender male, but only for now. I'm questioning my gender, but feel like I need more time before actually coming to a conclusion. Romantic orientation: Straight Sexual orientation: Asexual Relationship status: Single Here we go 😊 |
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I see gender as a way to relate to and break through the traditional sex roles a certain society has evolved with. By telling the world I'm non-binary or fluid, I reject the man/woman notion and wish to try to show the world that we don't have to categorize each other so binarily. Quote:
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Username: Caite-chan
Pronouns: She/Her Gender: Female but I won't get mad if you call me a guy as I've had it happen many of times. Romantic orientation: Straight Sexual orientation: Heterosexual Relationship status: Single I'd call myself more of an ally than anything as my best friend is gay. I'm also still trying to figure out what all the different orientations are so I kinda feel more old school and straight forward. |
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Username: Janp
Pronouns: I'm okay with he/his, she/her, they/them. This is internet afterall, so use whatever you feel like using. Gender: Non-binary, still sliding between Genderfluid and Bigender Romantic orientation: Polyromantic Sexual orientation: Gender-blind Relationship status: Taken I've been lurking in the old club for way too long, so I think I'll join this one. |
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Let's start with a straight-forward first topic!
Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event? If you are an ally - has someone come out to you? Spoiler:
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I haven't come out... yet. I'm pretty sure my mom suspects I'm bi and maybe my stepdad does too, and I'll probably tell them at some point. Totally won't tell my actual dad, though, at least not until I make sure I won't see him again lol. He isn't the kind to tolerate that kind of stuff.
Now, I've had people come out to me. My best friend from hs told me she was bisexual and another friend from hs too told me he was ace. The only reason I haven't come out to them is because I don't have any kind of contact with any of them and still thought I was straight at the time being. |
I don't think I've had anyone come out to me as they've already gotten that far by the time I knew them. I know I've had people tell me they thought I was a lesbian because I always dressed like a guy. (Can't help they have pants with POCKETS in them and shirts that don't feel like your boobs fall out if you bend over.)
Though I'm still trying to get all of these straight. It seems like there's just so many different things. |
Hi friends :D
Username: Aslan Pronouns: she/her Gender: cis female Romantic orientation: gay Sexual orientation: ^ Relationship status: single Re: Experiences with coming out (going to spoiler, am on phone and not sure if it is a big wall of text!) Spoiler:
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My impression is that, at least here, any topic related to lgbtq+ is discussed very rarely in real life, even on the news (except for the occasional Pride Month stuff or the World Congress of Families). While most of my friends seem supportive in general, I feel like there are many other people who would be at the very least skeptical of me even being nothing more than an ally. Being quite insecure myself, I've never tried bringing up this topic by my own initiative either.
I've also never met any lgbtq+ person irl, meaning that no one ever came out to me... save for one man I found myself spending some time with for my traineeship and just forgot of soon after. |
I had a cute ‘girlfriend’ in 8th grade. She was the absolutely best, inspired me to draw, got me into anime, did homework together... we talked and talked and talked on the phone constantly. She’d send me gifts of her art with rose petals in boxes and I’d buy her (albeit cheap) jewelry from a store she liked. We’d write love notes and poetry and everything you’d expect a young couple to do!
It.. didn’t take long to realize that I was feeling more than just a friendship. I was head over heels in love with this girl! But, I had noooo idea what to do with these feelings or how to talk to her about it, so I asked a mutual friend who was bisexual. And she told me to just talk to her, ask her, and worry about the details later. So I did. I told her I loved her. She said she’s been waiting for me to say something for weeks now. We kissed and held hands and were inseparable! ..Until a month later she moved away and I never heard from her again. :( |
Hi, I'm joining as an ally! :)
Username: Hyzenthlay Pronouns: She/her Gender: Female Romantic orientation: Hetero romantic Sexual orientation: Demisexual Relationship status: In a relationship I only recently discovered that "demisexual" existed—before I identified as heterosexual but that didn't feel quite fitting? I knew I was only attracted to men but never in a sexual way... more of a "he seems nice to have a relationship with" kind of way. I'm a hopeless romantic. <3 In fact, before I grew really close to Revise, I thought maybe I was asexual, because my sexuality is not a prominent part of my life at all. But things definitely changed once I got into a relationship. So demi it is! If you are an ally - has someone come out to you? Nope! In my town, people are not openly LGBTQ+ and I don't know anyone that way in real life. :o I try to be as supportive as I can so that people would at least be comfortable with coming out to me, if that ever happens! |
Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event?
Not really, but people around me, like my girlfriend or my friends, know about my stance regarding genders (video related, but please don't take it seriously). I also don't know anyone from LGBT+ community in real life and my country isn't really LGBT friendly, so that also makes it harder for me to come out. |
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Yeah there's a lot of small labels made up for people to find others that are almost just like them, to bond over shared experiences and views. It's really nice to find others who share your small microlabel :3 but not something everybody feel they need to do. When it comes to gender, for example, many are happy saying they're nonbinary and not go into detail. Quote:
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Personally I started exploring my gender a couple of years ago now, I think. I "came out" on PC by asking people to use they/them for me, and it still feels the very comfiest. As for sexuality, i'm still confused to this day. But I'm pretty sure I'm biromantic (or panromantic to be specific but idk) and i'm kind of flaunting it wherever i can online with emoji and whatnot d: Only one person irl knows I'm bi and nonbinary, unless you count PC user Went lol whom I have met irl and actually also told i was nonbinary, when he sat next to me on a train :3 and when i almost sneezed my eyes out due to being sick af iirc (pre-corona, ok!). I think a friend came out to me at a party (vague memories) as bi, and I remember that being very cool. I also had a very blatantly bisexual friend in high school and know/have known several gay/lesbian people over my life. It isn't a big deal here (to most), which feels great. |
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As for stepdad, I know he is totally okay with trans people which is a plus in the LGBTQ+ tolerant thing, but I haven't really heard him say much about his opinions on that matter. There's also my sis that I forgot mentioning before continuinglmao. She doesn't know either, and I don't even think she suspects anything. She is very tolerant and I know she will find out eventually when I finally come out even if I don't tell her lol. |
It sounds like your immediate family will support you then, if there's ever a good time to let them know who you are <3
I think my family will wholeheartedly support me being panromantic (although I'd just say "bi") but I have a suspicion that they'll think I'm delusional if I ever also tell them about my nonbinarity ): |
Username: Ninetales
Gender: Female Pronouns: She/Her Sexuality: Asexual (Primarily heteroromantic, though part of me feels more of an emotional attraction to women, despite only being physically attracted to men. It's a tad confusing, even for me.) Relationship Status: Taken! <3 Coming out was certainly an interesting experience at first. There were some that didn’t take me seriously, whilst others were immensely supportive! Regardless of what others may think, I’m confident with my sexuality and my womanhood and am very open about my asexuality, despite being in a heterosexual relationship. |
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hi
Username: Palamon Pronouns: he/him. Gender: Trans masculine. Romantic orientation: pan. Sexual orientation: same as above, lol. Relationship status: single. As for coming out, I haven't come out to anyone irl except my friend. So, I don't really have a story about it. I can't really come out to my family because they'll try to deny my identity by saying "no you're not. You're straight." So, I won't come out to many people about being trans or pan. |
Username: Sam, also I answer to sis and Milotic.
Pronouns: She/her Gender: Cis gender female Romantic orientation: Everyone is beautiful Sexual orientation:Heterosexual Relationship status: In a relationship with Dragon <3 If you are an ally - has someone come out to you? I have a cousin who I adore, she is a brilliant computer whiz, and just so calm, cool and collected. We have always gotten along. She is gay and out, currently living with a partner who makes her happy. I have asked if she is going to get married, but she wants to keep her independence. Living with the woman she loves is all she wants right now. A friend of mine from college who is a poetess and artist is also bisexual, and same-sex relationships have been a theme of some of her writings. Through volunteering at a local animal shelter I met a family who surrendered their dog because they had health problems and couldn't take care of him. I ultimately adopted him, a big beautiful great Pyrenees. His previous owners were so happy that he had found a loving home, and asked permission from the Aarf to send me photos of him as a puppy. I kept in touch, and started emailing and phoning them and eventually I began visiting so they could see their furry old friend again. This was a family of two women, and as I got to know them over the years eventually they felt comfortable coming out to me as a couple, and I was happy for them. I have both LGBTQ+ friends online who have come to out to me as well as offline. |
Username: Ace Trainer Slash
Pronouns: He, him Gender: Cis-male Romantic Orientation: ... Not straight, definitely not straight. Relationship Status: ... Probably single for a (very) long time. :D I've come out to only a few friends of mine. Most of them got weirded out when I told them I liked them/wasn't straight. Although (I think/hope) everyone's fine with me now, the one person who didn't get weirded out was very supportive of me, in which we were already in a straight relationship, she's now a very good friend of mine. |
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Sam, is it alright if I give you a biromantic flag? ;) Ace Trainer Slash, I'll put a rainbow pride flag on you unless you have some more specific label ^^ Labels aren't necessary ofc! |
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Username: Dimitri
Pronouns: She Gender: Nonbinaryish? i present as androgynous Romantic orientation: I don't really get the need for this unless one is ace Sexual orientation: Bi Relationship status: If anyone ever dates me the reincarnation of jesus will be born that same day. (I'm undateable, basically) I'm out as bi but my dads side of the family is teetering on the edge of just disowning me so I dare not come out as nb. Not because I'm Bi, they all accept that. It's because I'm too mentally ill and they don't really understand nonbinary identities. |
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I'm sorry to hear about your situation ); Yeah, even if sexual orientations in many place are becoming more accepted now, there still is huuuge stigma around anything nonbinary. Let's a new topic, shall we? Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? Spoiler:
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Oh. Yeah, I don't know if I'm gender conforming, but despite this, I believe people don't need to conform to any gender, a person should be allowed to act or take characteristics from whatever gender they want to no matter what gender they are.
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I guess I should have phrased it as "do you fit into gender stereotypes" haha. Because you are absolutely right, imo :)
I'd say I've always kind of looked like what most people think girls look like. So that'd be gender conforming expression-wise when I still didn't know I could be anything other than a girl. However, my interests had always been quite varied, in many cases "boyish", and I've made friends with girls and boys alike. Except maybe in high school when I tried really hard for a while to fit into what a Girl "should" be like. I still ponder how much is natural because of how our inner gender perception makes us act or enjoy, and how much is just taught by society. I guess there's lots of research on it somewhere. Nowadays, ofc, I'm a non-binary, semi-agender, fluid mess. I haven't changed anything about my appearance so I still look like a "typical girl" I suppose. There's nothing that's really normal for non-binary people though. |
Looks like I fit in for sure! Appearance, clothing, total incompetence around kids... only thing that deviates a bit is that most of my friends are girls, but that's about it I guess. Even then, gender and stereotypes aren't quite the same thing and don't have to be so closely related... I suppose that's something most people here can agree with but it's also something I'm rather stuck with as I keep questioning my gender.
On one hand, you can definitely still be a boy without conforming to these stereotypes and be valid anyways - that's probably what most people around here will tell you: "You like pink and dolls but don't worry, you're still a boy and that doesn't make you anything less manly." On the other, you might fit in with all the common stereotypes and still not feel right. I might tell you I don't wear dresses not because I'm a boy, but simply because my body structure doesn't allow me to (I guess that remark would be kinda fitting for people who identify as agender? But I'm not sure yet.) |
ahaha mood, me: i wear dresses because they fit my body and skinny suits do Not
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No, I do not. I dress both "female" and "male" depending on my mood or just what I'm feeling. Also I'm the bug killer of the house lmao
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Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes?
Very much so! I love my gender and I enjoy being girly and feminine. :) Pretty dresses are my favourite thing to wear and I feel 10x prettier when I put one on, like a princess, haha! In fact, despite going through a tomboyish stage at one point, I now feel gross in masculine clothing—it just hangs off me terribly (I'm quite curvy) and makes me feel dowdy, not myself at all. When I was into that, it was because other girls seemed to pull it off and look awesome lol, but it's just not for me. ^^; Although my mum is pretty strict about me dressing conservatively around here (the men can be vulgar) so nice dresses are more of a special occasion thing when going out. :( As for interests, they fall into both stereotypical female and male ones, but mostly "girly" I guess haha. As in, I love all things pink, and go out of my way to choose girly things over all else when I can. :p It just makes me happy! |
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Hmm, definitely not as a child! I used to get considered as "one of the boys" because I fit in so well with boys. I could act like them, I liked what they liked (video games, racing cars etc.) and I even looked like a boy at certain periods of my life when I had short hair and would dress like a boy. That being said as a child, I also liked stereotypical interests such as Barbie and Princess Polly and I was open to the idea of befriending girls, I just for some reason found it very hard to be friends with any girls. For a long time most of my friends were male and to this day, most if not all of my close friends online have been male in the 8 years or so I've been on PC. I'm not sure why that is the case! Later on I went to a girl's school so most of my friends are female now in-person but for a long time I definitely did feel quite disconnected from feeling like a girl. Nowadays I feel fine about it - would even say I'd fit the stereotypes of liking the idea of getting into makeup/fashion which I was not conscious of at all for a long time (but am now enjoying, even if I'm not very good at it). I also am so glad I got out of the I'm Not Like The Other Girls' phase and just started owning my interests/what I want to be like etc. without fear of changing up my image/what other people would think! Life has been much more fun since. :D
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I've always been a tomboy for most of my life. I never cared for makeup and feel like its a waste of time and money but at the same time I don't mind having someone else put it on me. I love getting my nails done but now that I'm older I'd rather have a pixie cut because again less for me to worry about. I'd rather wear boy clothes because I didn't like showing off my body much less my chest. Now that I'm older I don't care how good pants fit if they don't have decent pockets I will not buy them. I carry a wallet because its all I need so my pants better have good pockets in them.
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Username: pastelspectre
Pronouns: he/him Gender: trans male Romantic orientation: Queer/mlm Sexual orientation: I guess the same as above? Relationship status: Taken! |
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Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? Essentially, do you do things like follow any media focusing on LGBTQ+ in one way or another, or try to actively represent the community somehow, or do you rather quietly approve of there being a community but not really involving yourself much? :) notif for topic~ Spoiler:
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I'm not sure if I already posted the answer to the previous question, so just to be sure:
Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? Depends. I'm more masculine than other guys around me. I never dressed in "female" clothes, which makes me wonder how would I look in them... Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? I follow few LGBT+-themed subreddits on reddit and few accounts on Twitter, but I don't post in them myself. There isn't really a local community where I live, so I only have those communities to connect with other people. |
Username: starseed
Pronouns: She/her or he/him (mostly she/her) Gender: Demigirl/person Romantic orientation: Panromantic Sexual orientation: Asexual Relationship status: Taken I'd like to join. :D |
Hi everyone who has joined recently, welcome :D
Answering the new topic, I would say I'm fairly active in regard to keeping up with LGBT media. I follow a lot of LGBT creators even before I found out I was also part of the community - Youtube is good for this! I also enjoy and will check out LGBT media whether it's recommended to me or through my own research - TV shows, books, movies. I think seeing representation in the media was helpful for me particularly when I was younger as it made me feel less alone and also accept/be happy with who I was when I was still in that icky sort of denial or fear phase. I would say I'm passive though otherwise - its part of being quite closeted so I don't get involved in real life events or talk about LGBT topics with people outside close friends who are also in the community. Honestly everyday though I feel like it's more exhausting to stay closeted so if I ever publicly outed myself, maybe I would try to more actively engage with the real life LGBT community. |
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
I would say I'm more of an in between. I keep up with the news and will read things here and there but other than that I wouldn't say I'm THAT active. I would think that if some real shit hit the fan I'd find out from my best friend. I don't think I'm totally out of the loop though. |
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
When it comes to irl, no one knows anything even about my involvement with LGBTQ+. I usually never bring up the topic myself, because I don't really feel at ease talking about that especially around certain people, and this probably makes me look like someone who's rather ignorant on these issues - which I actually don't mind that much. Online this is slightly different, because I can get more involved, informed and show my support more openly! I still have many things to learn but I feel like I'm making progress :) I still wouldn't think of myself as very active, though. I'm just... keeping a low profile I suppose. |
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
I’d say I’m pretty active irl. I sign the petitions, donate to local charity, and join the rallies when I can. I prioritize LGBTQ+ creators, support businesses run by LGBT owners / allies, and just do my best to give to the community over all. I also very openly and unapologetically wear LGBTQ+ supporting merch and rainbow paraphernalia, but I guess that doesn’t contribute much. Online maybe not as much? I’m not involved with Twitter and other platforms or circles that are heavily invested in LGBTQ+ issues. Just a personal preference. Also actions speak louder than words, imo, even though the words are very important too! |
I don't have any friends irl so I can't really go to pride or anything. It's best to go with someone to large events or to clubs because you never know, safety first.
And my family can't stand that I'm bi and gnc. |
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There's more lgbt people online which is reassuring though. |
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
I’d say the most active support I’ve offered is voting yes to gay marriage in Australia. Multiple times actually, because I got to vote on the behalf of a few others! Otherwise there really isn’t much you can do in my small town and I’m not a fan of large gatherings/parties, so I likely wouldn’t attend a parade etc. for that reason aha. I’m more of a passive member but I’ll still do my part when I can! Like with voting. :) |
Username: Foxy
Pronouns: She/Her but don't mind They/Them Gender: Female Romantic orientation: Panromantic Sexual orientation: Pansexual Relationship status: Casually seeing someone? (It's complicated..lol) Regardless to what I talked about in "stereotypes" below, I am still struggling a tad bit with my identity. I feel like I look the way I do based on trends and fashion. But if I'm being honest with myself, I've always been attracted to Androgyne and have felt a strong pull towards being Androgynous. After cutting my hair short, it's like I'm feeling closer to being the true me. Unfortunately my wardrobe remains very girly since it's a little hard to afford some new masculine clothes. But when the time comes, I will surely feel it out. Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event? Yes, I am. Growing up with two wonderful moms helped me not to be afraid of what others think of me. I think watching my mom love another woman while growing up is what changed everything for me. I first kissed another girl when I was 16 or so. I was heavily confused for awhile, and started dating girls. I tried to explain that I was bisexual but something about it didn't fit just right. I started finding my self attracted to all genders as I got older. Love, to me, did not stop at someone's gender. I met someone else who was Pansexual(never heard the term before) and they explained to me what it meant to them and suddenly that's what clicked with me. I started openly telling anyone who asked that I was Pans around the age of 20 (am now 26). But thanks to my parents for giving me the courage to love like I do and not to worry about judgement. Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? Growing up, I was a tomboy. And when I first started becoming confused about my sexuality, I would dress more boyish. But now, I'm a very materialistic female. Probably your average "basic white girl" stereotype. So I would say, yes. lol Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? I used to attend Pride every year with either my parents or my friends. My parents like to travel to LGBTQ Conventions and work at them, so sometimes I would tag alone. Where I live now, I don't really have a big pool of IRL friends, but back home I would say about 80% of my friend group were LGBTQ and we would always be out doing stuff for the community. |
If I can get someone to agree I'll see if I can go to Pride. I'm getting out more now so hopefully I'll develop some friendships. NS has a pretty good LGBT pop.
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Username: MadisonSteel
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Gender: Trans Female Romantic orientation: Biromantic Sexual orientation: Asexual Relationship status: Single I'm out to my parents, sister, most friends at school, and a few relatives. I'm involved in some LGBT stuff like my school's club and sometimes pride. I'm not really very actively part of the community though. I'm not really out, but I also don't really hide it either. Kind of an open secret that I'm trans. |
Username: Neb
Pronouns: Any Gender: Fluid (questioning) Romantic orientation: panromantic with a preference towards girls and NB people. Sexual orientation: Pansexual Relationship status: Single Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? Despite being raised by lesbian parents, I never really knew about the community until my teen years. When I came out as pan I got some pushback at school, so I kept it to myself. Only recently have I started to walk flamboyantly. I’d like to wear dresses outside of pride events, but I’m still too afraid of harassment. To show my support I change my online persona every June. |
Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community?
Would say I’m active, I think..am pretty vocal about supporting lgbtq stuff, even on family Facebook where have some close minded family members added. Am pretty vocal about it.. online but being vocal irl is kinda scary |
This may be pretty random but... starting today, it's Ace Week! Or Asexual Awareness Week if you will. It will go on from October 25th to 31st.
That said, and given that there are a few ace people in this group also, why not discuss about this orientation a bit more? Something that I feel like asking, in particular, is... how important is it for you to come out as asexual, demisexual or graysexual? Who, in your opinion, is really worthy of learning that aspect about yourself? I've always been uncertain of this actually. I feel like my asexuality would really impact only my future partner's life and relationship with me, and... not to be the devil's advocate here, but asexuality is just not something that can be spotted, like for example two men holding their hands can be interpreted right away as them being gay. (And yes I know this is just an assumption people make and probably shouldn't, but I guess this is the kind of world we still live in today). And yet, being able to raise awareness on asexuality as a whole, being just proud of my asexuality, and in a way letting my potential partner already know what my boundaries are, seems equally enticing. I feel like this kind of thought process could be applied to some other identities or orientations too, so I'd like to hear some of your thoughts on this if you don't mind! That said, happy Ace week everybody! https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/584412632614830089.png?v=1 |
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I'm ace bi myself. As in I'll date anyone regardless of gender but I don't have any real sexual attraction. However, I won't judge anyone based on how much or how little sex they have. It's peoples personal life you know?
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How important is it for you to come out as asexual, demisexual or graysexual? Who, in your opinion, is really worthy of learning that aspect about yourself?
I'd say it's pretty important to understand this part of yourself because feeling no/minimal sexual attraction or not desiring physical intimacy are usually game-changers when it comes to relationships... so any prospective partner needs to be aware of that. I was very confused over whether I was asexual because I still felt romantic attraction. Nobody understood, that, though - it's under the surface of things. Peers have just assumed I'm a prude or something because I reject sexual advances, I don't fawn over people for their bodies, and I cannot for the life of me fathom wanting to hook up with people I hardly know. Media made me even more confused over this, because promiscuity and sexuality are so heavily focused on. Was I weird for not being that way, too...? I feel pretty excluded from others my age because of this. I haven't told anyone in real life simply because they wouldn't understand. I guess I don't need to now that I'm in a hetero relationship, anyway? My relationship with Revise formed from a long, really close friendship, and by 2019 I started having... other feelings haha. That's when I found out I'm demi! Although I didn't realise that label even existed until recently lol. Glad I found it. <3 Happy asexual awareness week! |
I've actually learned about asexuality right at the beginning of this year's pride month, and it was really all thanks to chance. Someone just posted a selection of pride related emojis and I just asked more information about one that I'd never seen before. And there it was, I spend days looking up more information about asexuality and found out it fit very well with me. I started labeling myself as asexual, still reassured by the fact that it acted as an umbrella term for many other identities as well, and I found that quite comfortable.
I realized only later that I was more leaning towards actually asexual than say, demisexual or graysexual though. Or at least, that is what I'm feeling right now! The fact that I'm still very inexperienced with any sort of relationship, both on a physical level and on a mental level, is actually still making me think that my labels could change in the future, but I'm happy where I stand for now. And if you look at the other side of things... that same inexperience is probably there because of asexuality! Some more signs that I'm asexual? Well, I've always been kind of a prude - not so much now as I used to be, but yeah. Most of that attitude was unjustified and I feel like I can safely leave it behind me, but it still lingers sometimes I suppose, especially irl. And also... I've been thinking over this for a bit but I feel like there is a disconnection between instinct and reason, so to speak. I can't quite find a meaning for some of the things I feel. And that's as far as I can go... Thank you all for your contributions during ace week and, I hope that this answers your question, Fairy! |
I only recently learnt what demisexuality was when I was chatting online with someone who was demi. I thought that that could be me, since I have only experienced attraction to one person, my best friend, with whom I've now in a relationship with for more than two years. Growing up, I never had a crush on anyone and I've never known how to answer questions about the attractiveness of others.
I've never really considered coming out as demi mainly for two reasons: 1. I'm still trying to work out if I'm really demi or hetero or somewhere in between. Even though I've never been attracted to strangers, I still find I have some preference for certain physical characteristics, though I find that personality is far more important to me. That confuses me, since I'm not sure if demi people have physical prefs or not. I also feel like I have a high libido, but no real sexual interest outside of my partner. 2. From an outside perspective, I lead a heterosexual life, so I'm not sure if I have any need to come out as demi? I also see a lot of ridicule online towards demisexuality so I'm pretty hesitant. I also feel like though it's a nice-to-know thing, it hasn't really been an important part of who I am. Sorry if this a bit of a ramble, this is like the first time I've actually discussed I could be on the ace spectrum 😅 |
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Actually, on that subject, does anyone else on the ace spectrum find they more or less only see/"ship" platonic relationships in media? Because I do! As in, others will be all "they're so gay for each other" or "X girl and X boy are the OTP", and I'm always the one who's like... why can't they just be friends? lol. I inflict my asexual side onto everything. xD Quote:
Anyway, this is the first I've heard of ridicule towards demis, so I was just wondering what kind of ridicule you've come across? I'm super new to this myself! |
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In terms of ridicule, it was just when I was really discovering what demisexuality was I'd often find people on online forums etc dismissing it as just being normal, or that people just wanna claim they're something just so that they're special, or just people joking about it, but I feel like that really dismisses what being demi is? Like I agree that it is not 'abnormal' but it definitely is different from the hetero normal view of attractiveness. |
Mind if I join?
Username: RadEmpoleon Pronouns: she/her Gender: female Romantic orientation: (idk what this means sorry) Sexual orientation: straight Relationship status: single I’m not LGBT myself but I support! Consider me an ally! Although I probably need all these different terms explained to me. |
YAY another Ally. No worries I'm on the same page as you when it comes to all the different terms.
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What is maybe an easy way to understand it is to think of asexual people. You've probably bumped into someone either online or irl who has no interest in sex or no sex drive, but is in or is interested in a relationship. Or to use a slightly more personal example, I am aromantic, but am not disinterested in sex. |
Username: Rose Oni
Pronouns: She/Her Gender: Transgender Female (I don't bring this up unless I am directly asked, otherwise I just say I'm a girl) Romantic Orientation: Bisexual, girl lean Sexual Orientation: Bisexual, girl lean Relationship Status: I have a girlfriend I am pretty simple and straight-forward when it comes to me being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. As someone who is a transwoman (been on HRT for six months, knew since I was sixteen) and bisexual, I try to stay up to date on politics and news regarding the community. Since I am trans, I feel like I have to be up to date on things politically. In response to the current topic, yes I am out to family and friends. Have lost a few friends, and most of my blood family is denying it or trying to accept it. Despite that, I am the happiest I have ever been. |
Welcome, all new members!
I'm sorry I haven't updated this in forever. I will make sure to do so tomorrow :) |
Welcome everyone!! Mind if I start a discussion?
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Feel free to start any new talks. :D I'm always looking to learn more as an Ally. :D
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All right!
As an lgbt person around the holidays, is it hard on you? Do you find yourself alone during this supposedly happy time? As for me, everyone in my family just acts like I'm straight all the time. They don't even acknowledge despite saying they are "ok with it" and it's terribly draining. If you need, PC can be your family! |
Mm, I told my closest friends I'm non-binary but I also didn't dare to request any unusual pronouns, so they all just treat me as they always have even though I think it doesn't make me entirely happy. I don't want to complicate things for them or make them think I'm bothersome to talk about or deal with though. So I accept this.
Idk when if ever I'll tell my family. |
For me, I honestly think it disappoints them. Along with my severe mental health issues, it makes me a stain on the family. (To them)
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not out to family, dunno if i'll ever be. it'll definitely be a lot for them to take in.
i also know that i can't keep putting this off and it's wrecking me. @[email protected] |
I'm really lucky in that I've always felt very supported by my close friends even if my family would not be the most supportive. A majority of my closest friends are in the community so I have never felt like I don't have anyone to turn to and they've helped me become very comfortable with who I am, even in the holidays where I am closeted @ home. That being said I already know my parents at least aren't the most accepting (downright do not approve or have the attitude of as long as they don't flaunt it) so that can be sad sometimes but I'll deal with it when I do come out if I ever try. For now I'll just enjoy the holidays w them and not think about it too hard. :')
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Not really feeling alone or sad. My girlfriend keeps me company.
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So I have more of a help me figure this out question for everyone.
If I had to describe myself I would say I'm quite old school in all of this. I grew up with He/She or Straight/Gay/Lesbian/Bi and that's pretty much it. My parents taught me well and never said anything bad about Gay/Lesbian/Bi people. My best friend is Gay and my Mom would always joke and say Oh yeah he's my favorite gay son and he always got a kick outta that. I also have a friend who came out as Non-Bionary and goes by Ash now instead of Ashley. And when I sent out cards I'm like well how do I address this and looked it up and found Mx to address it instead of Mr or Ms/Mrs. My issue I guess you could call it is I have a hard time referring people as They/Them because I hear that and think of a group of people and not a single person as you would with He/She. I also don't believe that Non-Bionary should be referred to as "It" because they're not objects. Other than PC I don't really have access to a community where I can be more active in this. I'll look at people's profiles and if they have nothing listed anywhere I just go by what the name is and go from there. Maybe I don't talk to people one on one enough or don't pay attention to the finer details enough...I'm not sure. I know I made this mistake recently and needed to be corrected which I rather you do but afterwards went back and checked their profile and couldn't find anything that stated either way and just went with what I knew. As an Ally to all I try to better myself and become better understanding of everything so any and all help would be great. :D |
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I don't think they/them/their singular is any weirder than you/you/your singular. ;) Maybe it is easier for me who isn't a native English speaker? It was confusing for us when we started learning English and found out that they use "you" for both singular and plural. But if that works, they/them singular really works too. Just gotta learn and accept it ^^ |
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NB pronouns can be a little confusing. Most of us were brought up with a binary view of the world. The media have always said he and she, and that was it, nothing in-between. That obviously doesn't reflect real life, and we now understand that gender is a spectrum just like sexuality. Lets also not forget about intersex peeps either. Language hasn't quite caught up yet... or so we think. I struggled in the past with they and them pronouns because I always viewed them as multiple, not singular, so they never really made sense to me. It turns out I was wrong and they were in use as a singular terms centuries ago, they merely fell out of fashion for a while. It also turns out that I had actually been using them in singular context all along without even realising it. Think about it this way. Say you have a male friend. He goes off to buy a latte and another friend finds you alone. "Oh, I thought you were with Carl today". You could reply with "He went to get a coffee" and that would be correct. You could also use "They went to get a coffee" and that would also be correct! "I thought you would be with Sadie today" "No, I don't see her as much as you think" Again, "No, I don't see them as much as you think" is just as correct! The delivery driver is late with your order. You turn to your friend and say "Where on earth are they?" This is correct, of course. You could use he or she, if you really wanted to, but chances are you would use they, and especially so if you weren't sure of their gender!!! I bet you have used they or them in singular context much more often than you think. You just need to reprogram your brain's way of looking at it. Thanks for being a caring ally :) |
I'll try and give you a crash course!
"She took her dog for a walk" would be "They took their dog for a walk" "He's feeling sick" would be "They're feeling sick" she/he = they her/him = their he is/she is = they're |
Username: UmbreonsShadow
Pronouns: She/Her Gender: Cis Female Romantic orientation: Hetero Sexual orientation: Asexual Relationship status: Single Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event? Sorta? Ha ha. My family all knew before I even knew the word "asexual". My whole life one of my sisters teased me and said I'd grow up to be a nun since I never felt any sexual attraction to anybody. :P When I finally found out that you could be asexual and still feel attracted to guys, then I told my mom. She was all like: Yeah, I know. And really, most of my family is LGBTQ+ anyway. :) (Two trans-sisters and a cis-bisexual sister) My dad on the other hand, he'd have a heart attack if he knew. But I haven't spoken to him in years and don't plan on changing that. ;) Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? If you look up "digital artist" and you see the people with the comfy clothes, glasses, glued to their computer screens - that's me. ;) I don't think I fit the stereotype because I'm not really into clothes, shopping, or anything. I like bugs and snakes. But I will also gush over tiny kittens. <3 Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? Passive. I try to be more active and then I end up retreating back into my introvert shell. ;P So I'm figuring myself out first and might try again. Or maybe I'll just support my trans-sisters who are very active. As an lgbt person around the holidays, is it hard on you? Do you find yourself alone during this supposedly happy time? Since my family is almost all LGBTQ+ there's not a problem there for me. Sometimes I feel lonely because I'm the only ace though. Which isn't bad. So I'm really lucky there. Language As for language, I wish we had non-gendered words. I'm okay using 'they/them' for people if they request it. And I aim to use 'they/them' for people unless they state otherwise. :) |
Username: Bahamut
Pronouns: They/them Gender: Non-binary Romantic orientation: Biromantic Sexual orientation: Asexual Relationship status: Single |
Figure I might as well join the new alliance since I was a member of the old one.
Username: NobleJanobii Pronouns: She/Her Gender: Female Romantic/Sexual orientation: Demipan Relationship status: In a relationship (our one year anniversary was Dec 31 actually) Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event? Not officially. A few folks know like my college roommates and the Student Senate at my college but they've all been sworn to secrecy because my parents wouldn't react well. Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? Uhhh I guess kinda? I moreso fall into the stereotype of the like "stem" or "butch" lesbian I guess? It's to the point my mom tries to forcibly make my wardrobe more feminine because she doesn't want me to be mistaken for a lesbian. Oops. Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? I guess I'm more passive? I'm not out to most people IRL so it's difficult for me to be active esp considering where I live. When I was still in college I was a bit more active since I'd attend Pride events and the like, and if anyone asked about it I could say it was just to support my friends or part of my work on Student Senate. But nowadays I can't really do that because my Dad isn't supportive of the LGBT+ community at all and doesn't want me associating with it if possible. I do try to watch shows with LGBT+ characters or support artists/musicians that are LGBT+ but that's about the extent of what I can do at the moment. As an lgbt person around the holidays, is it hard on you? Do you find yourself alone during this supposedly happy time? Yeah to some degree. If I'm able to hang out with my online friends it's not as bad but if my parents are home when I'm voice chatting with them I have to actively censor myself from even mentioning LGBT+ so as to not give myself away. My online friends make me feel less alone but I feel like I'm still very lonely as compared to when I was in college when my supportive roommates were always around. |
Username: lillipup03
Pronouns: he/him are probably preferred, but I’m fine with they/them too Gender: cis male Romantic orientation: heteroromantic or biromantic, but very unsure on which Sexual orientation: bisexual Relationship status: very single Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? On the internet, I’m very active, but IRL I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m vocal about being an ally, but I’m not out, so I kind of suppress some of what I’d like to say because I don’t want to accidentally out myself or make it seem to openly LGBTQ+ people that I’m taking over their space or speaking on their behalf. |
hope it's ok to join!
Username: Roni Pronouns: he/him Gender: Cis Male Romantic orientation: Heteroromantic Sexual orientation: Heterosexual Relationship status: In a relationship Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? for the most part, yes, for the neutral stereotypes like liking video games/computers/watching sports, etc. i do my best to steer clear from negative ones. Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? i'd like to say i'm vocal about being a member of this community. i enrolled in one of the most open minded universities in my country and was exposed to people of all kinds, attended pride marches, all that good stuff. pretty much everyone i know irl knows where my stance and support lies. |
Hi everyone, I thought I'd share this...
The letter P in this alphabet song is for "pride" and it shows not only the rainbow flag, but also the flags of other LGBT communities like trans, lesbian, asexual, genderfluid, and more. This made me happy because many of the communities are being represented, not just the pride flag, in a kids show no less. It's also great for showing kids that these different communities exist. (Also a bit unrelated, but the letter E is for "everyone" has people of different races, body types, and disabilities.) |
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! You are beautiful and loved.
https://i.postimg.cc/qMNZBYCK/happy-valentine-s-day-gay-pride-colors-147382-161.jpg Anyone have any special plans today for the holiday with a partner? Maybe you have a crush you're thinking about today? Or perhaps you have sent or received a special card from Luvdisc? I'd love to know what's in your heart on your mind today during the holiday celebrated love. <3 |
Well, I'm still very much single this year, once again - I've sent a whopping total of 10 luvdiscs (which is a record for me, and yet still feels like it's not enough) but other than that, I haven't done much else. All things considered, though, I feel like I'm finally understanding more about relationships and what's kept me away from them until now... yet another instance where self discovery really helps.
I may have to answer your question with another question here but... once it's finally clear that you and your crush actually love each other, what happens? What do you actually give each other that makes the relationship blossom? It may sound weird but I've never really had an answer for this, and hoped that my love interest had the answer instead! This is probably just a matter of time and personal growth though, and never before have I felt so confident that... I'll get there someday. Someday... On another note! Recently a certain friend has got me into Toradora (obviously), which is probably the first specifically romantic anime I've ever seen. That is a first step because even before this, my whole perception of romance was not very accurate... but there's more! That anime has actually reminded me of a high school friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while, but that always acted very kind to me, and that now I would like to at least talk to again! I'm not sure how to approach her now, and probably I don't even need to, but at least she's finally getting the appreciation she deserves. |
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my partner and i went to an uber fancy restaurant for the first time in our lives (also the first time we spent that much on one eat out huehue), then spent the rest of the weekend over at my place where we binged a good bunch of movies (finally got started with WandaVision, and my god is it a story <3) and ate a good bunch of happy food. our gifts to each other this year was probably one of the most memorable i've ever had, and i'm not sure anymore how to top it. not a dry eye there was for that night we exchanged it with each other. aside from that, i also received plenty of heartwarming Luvdiscs, especially yours Sam! you really know how to brighten up my day with your words <3 my heart's happy as can be with everything that's happened, and serotonin is through the roof right now! i'm so... content with life atm. this is a nice feeling. it's gonna go away eventually, but i'll enjoy it while it's here :) |
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But crush? ...maybe. And it might be my best friend. And I may have typed up a text to send her back in december and still never sent it. I hate it, because I know she doesn’t like me like that, and I genuinely want to get over her and just be friends, but I just... can’t. And as much as I don’t want to be single anymore, I don’t feel like I can commit to any other relationship when I’m so stuck on her. It wouldn’t be fair to my partner. So, what I’ll probably do is decide to tell her, then have a panic attack and fall asleep before actually saying anything... at least iCarly is on Netflix now so I have something to do lol |
I'm single, but I'm happy that others are able to find joy, especially in these times.
I've done some introspection and realized that I am, in fact, a lesbian. While I have male characters I like, I'm not attracted to men in real life at all. |
I just wanted to say I support LGBTQ+ though never did a pride day in person before in public to show support. I don't like labels really so I try not to defend myself as something. I'm an female and I don't want intimacy due to traumatic stuff happened to me and I truly bealive there's more to a relationship than intimacy. I'm straight, single and I have no friends in person or online and not desperate for them. If it happens, it happens is my motto.
Love who you are don't change for anyone be yourself always~❤ |
Username: ninestarryskies (Stars!)
Pronouns: Any! Gender: Genderfluid Romantic orientation: Panromantic/Polyamorous Sexual orientation: Grey Asexual Relationship status: Committed partnership (partner is also fine with poly) Hi! I'm on mobile or I'd answer a bunch of the questions that I saw other people answering, it's a little difficult to not lose a post while going back looking for them on my phone, sorry! I'm out to friends and old coworkers but I've got a really weird/bad relationship with my family and don't feel my stuff is any of their business at all, plus I know they'd judge and or question me and I'm not interested in that. I'm grey ace because I used to be fully sex repulsed until I had a boyfriend I was comfortable enough with to try stuff, (have some little traumatic things in the past too that made things uncomfy) and now I'm cool with lots of stuff, but I've only ever been sexually attracted to my current partner. I am most comfortable with being called pan over bi because of how the two were explained to me when I first found out about them: They told me that being bi meant that I was attracted to different genders in different ways and that being pan was essentially not minding what gender a person was at all when it came to love, and that's how I feel. I'm also full of so much love that I absolutely have more than I can share with just one person, but I'm not actively hunting for anyone to add to my current relationship at all, just open to it if the right person comes along! I'm fine with most questions, but I don't feel like it's my job to justify why I feel like I do or what my labels mean in general more than what I've already shared. I've had to drop a lot of people that didn't believe in my gender or asexuality already and I'm not afraid to keep it up! I don't bite though :> I feel I'm among like minds here. |
Username: Lady Bisharp
Pronouns: She / They Gender: Female Romantic orientation: Panromantic Sexual orientation: Asexual Relationship status: Single (still not over my last relationship) Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event? I'm out, but I almost never tell people that I'm ace and panromantic, I just tell them I'm bi because it's easier and many non-LGBT people roll their eyes when you mention "weird" terms to them. Coming out wasn't an issue at all because I live in a (somewhat?) accepting country and a few of my real-life friends had already come out as gay, bi, and trans respectively. There's definitely some people where I live who don't even believe being bi is actually a thing (or are outright -phobic), but I like to think they're a minority (they're usually older people or conservatives). Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? Tomboy? I don't think I dress masculine enough to be a butch, I've always had mixed interests and I'm not into overly masculine stuff. However, I should also say that I'm very gender non-conforming and love to experiment with my looks (I really like to look androgynous sometimes), but I'm fine with my gender. Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? Passive... there's quite a few things I don't like about the LGBT community, namely people who make their sexuality/identity their whole personality and especially people who are -phobic against any other subgroup within it (I didn't believe it at first, but I've seen quite a few LGBT folks who were also -phobic). We're supposed to support and be kind to each other no matter which flag we fall under, so the fact that people who have been oppressed themselves are totally cool with doing the same shit to others from their own community is something I find appalling and really gross. This doesn't mean I believe the LGBT community is bad at all (many of my friends are also LGBT after all), it's just that, personally I don't care about "labels" as much as other people do (though I understand why they're important), so I'd rather focus on meeting people in general regardless of what or who they are (unless they're jerks I guess, but you get my point). Whew~ that was a lot to type, haha. |
Username: Hybrid Trainer
Pronouns: They / He Gender: NB / Male (While non-binary is the closest descriptor I have for my gender I do still feel like I lean closer to the masculine side of the scale) Romantic orientation: Gay Sexual orientation: Uber Gay Relationship status: Same sex relationship of 6+ years Are you out, IRL? How did you "come out", if there was such an event? Yup, I've been fully out since I was 17, it was actually partially thanks to PC that I came out at all. Way back in the day when there was a link to clubs in the header I saw that there was an LGBT+ club, which I'm pretty sure was ran by Professor Plum but I may be misremembering, and after a while I signed up which was the first time I'd told anyone other than myself that I was gay. From there I made some friends, which supported me while I came out to some irl friends, and a year or two later I came out to my family and posted about it in the current LGBTQ+ club at the time :) Would you say you fit into typical gender stereotypes? Oh hell no. While I probably still fit into the lazy boi dress sense of wearing whatever is clean at the time I find myself doing plenty of things that counteract that. I paint my nails, wear a bit of makeup when I feel like looking pretty, discarding pretty much anything that's pushed on me because I was assigned male at birth. Are you a passive or active member of the LGBTQ+ community? I'd say I'm more of a passive member of the community atm. When I was in university I was a memeber of the LGBTQ+ society and during my early 20s I would attend prides, but personally I just don't enjoy the drinking/going out that comes paired with a lot of the queer culture where I'm from. I'd much rather just donate to the occasional fundraiser from the comfort of my home instead. |
Bill To Ban Transgender Athletes Aligned With Gender Identity
So this came across my Facebook this morning from the local news station I watch and I read the article. I'm kinda on the fence about this because I can see where they are coming from. Though on the other end you should be able to choose on your own. I know things get changed if you go through 100% like testosterone / estrogen levels. What do you all think? |
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