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Sothis March 11th, 2021 2:22 PM

Turn ons?
 
Don't get too raunchy, but what are the qualities you look for in a potential relationship?

Personally, I need someone understanding. I have some hurdles in life.

Morika March 11th, 2021 2:39 PM

In a guy I look for someone who is kind, caring, respectful, polite, loyal, honest, communicates well, treats me with respect, accepts me and my past , treats me as an equal, is stable mentally, physically and an optimistic person as possible.

aurevesque March 11th, 2021 5:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leaf (Post 10309912)
In a guy I look for someone who is kind, caring, respectful, polite, loyal, honest, communicates well, treats me with respect, accepts me and my past , treats me as an equal, is stable mentally, physically and an optimistic person as possible.

It's hard to find anyone who meets just one of those qualities! But also add a good dose of humor and someone who makes me think!

Fairy March 11th, 2021 5:48 PM

I think the most important trait for me is compassion. That sort of covers the whole realm of "don't be a dick".

Sothis March 12th, 2021 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairy (Post 10310010)
I think the most important trait for me is compassion. That sort of covers the whole realm of "don't be a dick".

Oh definitely this. It could also cover understanding. Don't need someone making me feel bad all the time.

Sami March 12th, 2021 3:18 AM

Someone who can live with a fountain of memes, YGO cards and pure insanity... which is basically me.

Ivysaur March 12th, 2021 12:21 PM

It may sound weird but my main requirement is that I can count that person among my friends: that I can hold long chats with said person, that we have some similar interests and so on. I want that, if the passion ever fades out, I can still have a good friend.

(That also means that anyone I consider my friend is free to hit me up and there's a pretty good chance I'll reciprocate the attention)

Morika March 12th, 2021 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ivysaur (Post 10310965)
It may sound weird but my main requirement is that I can count that person among my friends: that I can hold long chats with said person, that we have some similar interests and so on. I want that, if the passion ever fades out, I can still have a good friend.

(That also means that anyone I consider my friend is free to hit me up and there's a pretty good chance I'll reciprocate the attention)

I also like that as well.

Spiff March 12th, 2021 2:42 PM

Active listeners pull on my heart strings.

TwilightBlade March 12th, 2021 3:48 PM

Lots of cuddles, brings me food, treats me with respect, pays attention to me when I'm talking <3 My relationship is already perfect.

Fairy March 12th, 2021 4:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spiff (Post 10311289)
Active listeners pull on my heart strings.

Omg I didn't even think of this but yeah this is huge and you really don't even realize how important it is until it's not there.

Setsuna March 12th, 2021 5:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shun (Post 10310276)
Someone who can live with a fountain of memes, YGO cards and pure insanity... which is basically me.

Just clone yourself? Easy.

Okay I'll be real, it's a little selfish of me to expect but I enjoy having a lot of attention from someone I'm into. If someone shows me they're genuinely interested whether they're a friend or a potential partner, it makes me really happy. Of course, there's such a thing as being too nosy, but if they do it in a comfortable manner it's great. If I'm choosing to be around someone I want to feel like I matter to them, it's what I try to show to other people. I send a lot of my friends art of their favourite characters or posts on social media I think they'll like so if someone ever does the same to me it feels like I'm someone they like enough to think about sometimes.
Reassurance and praise are really big for me too. My mental health is not the tippity top best shape possible so if something gets me down, it means a lot to have someone I can come to and feel okay asking "Do you actually like me?" or whatever it may be and for them to reassure me without judgment. I've been taking a lot of steps to be able to handle it all better, and friends saying they're proud of me or things like that can bring me to tears. I feel really blessed whenever it happens.
With a friend recently we had a conversation where he told me being able to keep a conversation where the other person showed they cared about the topic was big for him when deciding whether or not he'll like a person, and I've sorta realized that that's just a good thing to have in any kind of social relationship. It means a lot to show initiative in responding to what someone is saying or thinking.

Romantically the biggest thing that drew me to my boyfriend was that it felt like he could tell how I was feeling even if I didn't say anything. He'd help cheer me up before I even told him I felt sad because he could just notice that about me. I know it's the stereotypical "the girl always wants the guy to know how she's feeling" but knowing he understands the way I think and can notice the things I do when I'm not feeling good makes things feel smooth and easy for me and I don't have to worry about confrontation.
I'm a huge romantic and I love all these clichés and I'll be really affectionate and everything, and while my boyfriend is the total opposite of that, it feels really nice whenever he's told other people that that's one of the biggest things he likes about me. Even if he's the total opposite, he's aware of and accepts what I like and what I want, and he'll play into that sometimes. It's great.
Physically? I guess I like it when a guy is taller than me. I'm already kinda tall, and I like to feel short.

Sothis March 12th, 2021 7:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ivysaur (Post 10310965)
It may sound weird but my main requirement is that I can count that person among my friends: that I can hold long chats with said person, that we have some similar interests and so on. I want that, if the passion ever fades out, I can still have a good friend.

(That also means that anyone I consider my friend is free to hit me up and there's a pretty good chance I'll reciprocate the attention)

This makes total sense, especially since we're seemingly taught that you have to hate your exes and whatnot. It doesn't have to be that way.

Sami March 12th, 2021 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Setsuna (Post 10311422)
Just clone yourself? Easy.

Well no... two of me would bring not only the world to ruin and im also not into men, but also I cannot handle another me.

it would just end up in a war you see

Hybrid Trainer March 13th, 2021 4:43 AM

You guys are being too lovey dovey.
Gimme someone with pretty eyes and a nice butt and I'm yours <3

pkmin3033 March 13th, 2021 4:58 AM

Well, I've not actively looked for a relationship for years (and obviously I'm not looking at all now) but I think the main thing I need is someone willing to invest as much time and effort into our interaction as I am. This is probably another huge reason I don't have any friends; I am extremely high maintenance and require constant attention to feel valued. I'm insecure and have had one too many people I've cared about in the past completely ghost me, so I have extremely high standards for considering someone anything beyond the most casual of acquaintances. Someone who can make me feel like I actually matter to them, and not like a nusiance if I want to talk, is someone I will cherish.

I suppose patience and understanding are both requirements for this, because I regularly need to take breaks from interacting with others (which might seem like a double standard, but I tell people if I'm going away - I have never had anyone tell me they're going to be unavailable or busy for a few days) and it takes a very long time. It took about a year and a half of talking on a daily basis with my partner for me to consider the idea that she wasn't going anywhere, and six months (to the day we first met!) on top of that before feelings. I'm a lot harder to get close to than most people and I'm really not worth the time or the energy, because whilst you'll get my attention, you won't get my affection, and for most people that just doesn't seem to be good enough. So yes. Patience.

Beyond that I'm actually pretty accepting...sure, plenty of things irritate me, but I'm not the easiest person to tolerate either, and I generally don't care about people's personality quirks unless they disrespect me as an individual. I might find certain things...distasteful, but at the same time, I'm not going to tell other people how to think. Your opinions are your business; just don't expect me to buy into them as well and we'll get along fine. Mutual respect is important in any lasting interaction. It seems to be more of a trial for other people than it does for me. xD

Pokedream.su March 13th, 2021 8:41 AM

Someone who likes me back and isn't a nazi or someone with mental health problems.

I've dated enough people with mental health issues, I don't have the emotional intelligence to death with them. I want to be your partner, not your social worker.

Morika March 13th, 2021 9:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dawn (Post 10311770)
Well, I've not actively looked for a relationship for years (and obviously I'm not looking at all now) but I think the main thing I need is someone willing to invest as much time and effort into our interaction as I am. This is probably another huge reason I don't have any friends; I am extremely high maintenance and require constant attention to feel valued. I'm insecure and have had one too many people I've cared about in the past completely ghost me, so I have extremely high standards for considering someone anything beyond the most casual of acquaintances. Someone who can make me feel like I actually matter to them, and not like a nusiance if I want to talk, is someone I will cherish.

I suppose patience and understanding are both requirements for this, because I regularly need to take breaks from interacting with others (which might seem like a double standard, but I tell people if I'm going away - I have never had anyone tell me they're going to be unavailable or busy for a few days) and it takes a very long time. It took about a year and a half of talking on a daily basis with my partner for me to consider the idea that she wasn't going anywhere, and six months (to the day we first met!) on top of that before feelings. I'm a lot harder to get close to than most people and I'm really not worth the time or the energy, because whilst you'll get my attention, you won't get my affection, and for most people that just doesn't seem to be good enough. So yes. Patience.

Beyond that I'm actually pretty accepting...sure, plenty of things irritate me, but I'm not the easiest person to tolerate either, and I generally don't care about people's personality quirks unless they disrespect me as an individual. I might find certain things...distasteful, but at the same time, I'm not going to tell other people how to think. Your opinions are your business; just don't expect me to buy into them as well and we'll get along fine. Mutual respect is important in any lasting interaction. It seems to be more of a trial for other people than it does for me. xD

I liked what you said it was very honest and blunt, which I don't see really anyone do these days I've spoken too over the years tell the honest truth like that. I have high respect for you. I never look for a relationship nor friendship and right now I have no social life and not desperate to have friends or a romantic partner, if it happens , it happens is my motto. I have my doubts about both but about finding love and experiencing what love really is I doubt I'll find such a person I look for as stated above. So I made my peace being alone the rest of my life.

Yes, true you never know about love or finding a true friend so I just not worry about it, if it happens then great then if not I'm completely alright with it.

Firebolt March 14th, 2021 2:33 AM

Besides the obvious points, I especially appreciate the little acts of thoughtfulness. Having a hug or randomly finding my favourite foods when I get home from work would mean so much; she's sure to find her favourite chocolates stocked in the pantry next time I 'happen' to go grocery shopping.

VisionofMilotic March 14th, 2021 4:08 AM

Charity.

I admire a man who cares about the less fortunate, and is willing to help someone other than himself without judgement or complaint. The more he stands up for those convictions the sexier it is to me.

ZeoStar March 14th, 2021 6:17 AM

Even though I'm not into doing relationships, it fits along the lines of friendships.

I really don't like feeling pressured into doing things, especially smoking or drinking. Not only am I disinterested, but it makes it even more uncomfortable that I'm underage. If I say "no" towards something I mean it the first time. Being asked repeatedly feels like pressure and manipulation.

If somebody understands this I feel much more inclined to spend time with them.

Morika March 14th, 2021 6:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZeoStar (Post 10312237)
Even though I'm not into doing relationships, it fits along the lines of friendships.

I really don't like feeling pressured into doing things, especially smoking or drinking. Not only am I disinterested, but it makes it even more uncomfortable that I'm underage. If I say "no" towards something I mean it the first time. Being asked repeatedly feels like pressure and manipulation.

If somebody understands this I feel much more inclined to spend time with them.

I would like my partner if they didn't drink , smoke or do any other kind of illegal drugs either. I have a traumatic history on my mothers side of doing those things sadly that effected me. I don't think you have to do those things in order to be consider cool, popular or be accepted by society. You can still have a lot of fun with out doing those things. I think personally. If now I'm uncool just because I don't drink or smoke due to my age oh well so be it. This would also be part of Turn Offs for me as well.

Palamon March 14th, 2021 10:18 AM

Respect my boundaries. I have....quite a lot, so. Also, respect me and be paitent, I guess? I'm slow when it comes to jokes & won't know if something is, so don't get rude or angry with me if I didn't realize you were joking.

but /shrugs idk I don't actively seek "relationships" so.

RadEmpoleon March 14th, 2021 2:26 PM

I guess the most important thing to me is someone who's accepting of me. Even if I have a lot of personality quirks or different interests, opinions, etc., someone who can look past those instead of criticizing them is what I would like in a friendship or relationship if I ever want one.
And also respect is important to me, both respect for me and respect for others.

Sami March 16th, 2021 9:28 AM

on the other hand if you are a girl who plays Cyber Dragons I'll be all yours ez

don't know if thats a good thing though, having me... might be a bad thing even with all the memes and crusades against basic gardening tools... oops


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