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According to the melted clock on my table, it's about 437 minutes past the 54th day, as we're on Venus, don't you know! Dinner is on the 59th day!
Just why is the sky blue? |
Because it can't be pink. :)
Why does a Genie see when it enters its lamp? |
Can they? I never got to ask them. I just sold their lamps immediately. Maybe they have a flashlight at hand?
Is there a way to get more out of it? |
More? you want more?!
You already pulled a full basketball team, 2 cars, a lorry, a couple birds and an oil tanker out of that top hat! and you want more?! Spoiler:
Fine, fine.... have you tried pulling a top hat out of your top hat yet? Should be able to pull stuff out indefinitely if you do that! 😏 Where did you take E.T. ? |
ET had a summer job... don't worry, it will be back once EDT ends 😏
Can you hear that ticking? |
Yess...it's doom o' clock, time of the day when that evil user Ash Ketchup arises!
(JK, ILY amiga! <3) Can you hear the rumbling noise? 🤔 |
Yes.
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No, because air is not a partner. And pretending to have a partner is also not fun. Very hard to twist something that causes nothing but frustration <_<
Why did you even try to fly up to the sun? |
It was talking smack about some users of PC. Wanted to go teach that pompous ball of flame who thinks it's so dang special some humility D=
What menace have you unleashed upon us this week? 😱 |
"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Trained everyone to automatically finish a sentence that contains "don't stop" with "believing". Breaks out into song from there. Messes with their concentration until after completing the song. Remembers too little of the song to fully finish it, however. Persists like a mental virus. Cannot stop...believing.
Where did you put the keys? |
The keys are in my pocket. In my trousers. But my trousers are in a chest, hidden deep down a bank, with several guards and a laser security system.
I won't let you open that cupboard where I store the chocolate :) What did you do with my teddy bear? |
I just gave it a cute dress. It told me that it really likes wearing cute dresses. And now excuse me I have to put some knives into people. The teddy really wants to know what happens afterwards.
Can you give me the controller now? It's my turn. |
Who said that? It will be your turn after I beat the boss after the boss after the boss after this boss. :)
What did one lift say to the other? |
It was talking about how it wanted to lift people's spirits =D
Essentially, it wanted to become the lift to heaven 😱 Why did you park your scooter like that? |
Cooler shouldn't have parked in my space if they didn't want my scooter on their roof ;)
What time is the last train to Clarksville? |
From Goldenrod City, Johto to Clarksville, Tennessee, USA, the last train is at 00:45.
Who parked their scooter on my car?! Quote:
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Ash did, but we all helped the scooter get on top to make sure she was sitting on it while being parked, it was a team effort!
Have you seen my Glaceon plush? 😢 Quote:
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Or should I say have you checked what used to be your chocolate stash? 😏 |
It became a real glaceon and went on a journey with ash ketchum.
Do we live in a simulation? |
Yes. Where you expecting a different answer? I mean I looked it up. Want to guess how many floppy disks it needed? Five!
Why is everyone so sad? |
Probably a conspiracy from the industry of chocolate. They make everyone sad, so that everyone buys chocolate for comfort.
Why does time fly and I can't? |
Did you fill in the necessary paperwork? You too can have the expression used on you! Apply for your '[Insert Name Here] Flies' certificate today! Valid everywhere on Earth!
Has cooler caught every human and completed his HumanDex yet? 🤔 |
No, he's still missing one human but doesn't know where to find one. Rumor has it, that human disguised himself as an Ice Type Pokemon.
Why does it say "Road to Hell" on that sign? |
Paved the road with good intentions. Promised to fund roads a lot over the years. Never materialized. Always redirected the funds towards "something more important". Fell into disrepair.
Why is lightning rare during snowstorms, relative to rainstorms? |
Because whenever Lightning hits a living being during a snowstorm a new asgardian is born. Whereas during rainstorms it's just RIP.
How often have you been to Valhalla? |
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Have you ever pained a masterpiece? |
Yes. Needed to gauge romantic prospects with someone. Hated to bring pain to a living plant. Acquired Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" (see: Flowery Painting in Animal Crossing) instead. Cut out petals one-by-one.
Spoiler: Was not meant to be. Proved accurate. Pinned the painting theft on them. Could not deal with a romantic partner in prison. What is a quote that you try to live by? |
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Why did the store close early? |
They just know when I'm around and immediately close to keep me out. Not that that works on me, mind you. But still sorry that you have to suffer because of it!
Why has this airport been under maintenance for multiple years, already? |
They thought it would be innovative if the airport had no landing strips. But after a few months, they discovered that planes couldn't release their passengers without landing, or at least not in one piece. Hence renovation works.
Why can't I use my laptop underwater? |
Simple. Any electrical signals underwater would alert Rapture and they would send Big Daddy's and their Little Sister's after you:
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As such, to guarantee YOUR safety, electronics such as laptops have been made to just go kaput underwater. Did you steal Zeus' lightning? |
I mean he pretty much asked for it. Why let it lie around in the open? Like, all it took me was fly to Greece, climb mt Olympus, ascend to the realm of the gods, find Zeus' palace, invade it at night when he had other things to do, get past his private guards, hide under his bed until he went to sleep, grab the thing and run as fast as I can while avoiding the masses of gods that flung their spells and stuff around, jump back down to the human reals while also avoiding any fall damage and get back to my place safely.
It's an easy task compared to the real challenges of life. Like riding a bike. Why did you drop that can of yoghurt? |
I didn't drop it it, I strategically placed it on the ground to feed all my hungry ant minions. You think it slipped out of my hands? I only wanted you to think that obviously. As you can see, it was totally on purpose *leans causally against wall and whistles*
How many cows does it take to steal a lightbulb? |
As many as it takes to evolve from cows to minotaurs. Give it a couple generations and a couple million cows. they'll eventually get there!
How often do you use your Moon-base lasers? Spoiler:
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Sometimes the meat in my plate is too hard for my knife, so I need something more powerful to cut it.
Chocolate VS a bear: who wins? |
The sentient walking chocolate wins this battle 100% of the time.
Why did the tropius tell a lie? |
Because if it hadn't everyone would have went bananas!
Wasn't there a store right here just a day ago? |
No. This was always a parking lot. It was built on a cemetery for otherworldly entities though... did you by any chance go through some kind of portal when you entered this store? or perhaps a sudden fog came one? I'd like to know as I want to go back home D=
Which reminds me.... BOO! Spoiler:
How are you doing that? It defies the laws of physics! |
Actually, physics is overrated. It's trying to explain things that basically work with magic.
Why doesn't my pillow want to let me go? |
Caught you browsing body pillows on your phone. Worries about you dropping them for one with a hot body.
Promised a lifetime together. Guaranteed it on the warranty. Wonders if it means anything to you still. What is the favorite thing that you bought this year? |
I purchased the internet. At the same time I take no responsibility for what happens on it.
Given the choice between sleeping on a bed and a floor, why would somebody pick the floor? |
The bed was created by people who considered themselves high and mighty. It also costs money. The floor on the other hand is everywhere. You don't need to pay for it. It was the og bed and doesn't consider itself above itself, like a bed does. It's true to itself so why not sleep on the floor?
Are you aware that if you are being caught again you'll end up in prison? |
I am so high above the law, the cops can't see me.
What are you doing with that box of cheese? |
It moved on it's own. I'd check the expiration date, but I need to flip it over and something might come out if I do that D=
Anyway, obviously I'm gonna sell this on ebay =D Where did you get that odd looking plant? |
I found it in a store. It was stuck between the aisles for bakery and nukes. They told me it's called "Hamburger Plant" because of the type of fruit it bears.
Can I see you tomorrow again? |
Sure. But you need a Visa, a negative molecular Covid test, and also some equipment, like a space suit, and dried food. And you have to pay your trip in space rocket.
But other than that, you're welcome. Are you a famous Youtuber? |
Well my videos are famous for disappearing if that counts.....
Why did the mod ban the Glaceon? |
The mod was a jealous leafeon who had wanted to evolve into a glaceon.
Why are you in prison? |
Mugging... I stole someone's coffee.
Can you touch your toes? |
I'll tell you when I find them. I'm not good at keeping the house clean.
Why is pink the best color? |
Actually there is a mathematical theorem that states:
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Why can't I plug an Ethernet cable to my brain so I don't need a computer or a phone to access the internet? |
Your brain has antiquated hardware. I'd recommend visiting your nearest Cybermen conversion center and having yourself upgraded!
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How humble are you about your feats? |
Very. They keep me upright, but then so do most people's. No big deal.
Can you sing opera music? |
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Yes! With a spear and magic helmet. Will give you a sample.
Attachment 99208 Wonders how many people will get that reference. How do you stop the government from spying on you? |
Because then you would be able to smell colors and that's not good...
Why is there a chicken in the sink? |
Do you expect me to fill the bath for a chicken that wants to bathe? The sink will do just fine tyvm.....
Why is there a jukebox in your bedroom? Quote:
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It's my bed bug zapper.
What are you doing with that bucket? |
Response to ReKoil:
I was kidnapped by aliens. They were coming to the Earth just to retroengineer human jukeboxes. However, they couldn't quite get how they worked. Unfortunately I had uploaded my resume to a resume-library (I don't know the name in English: it's a website, typically owned by your university, where you can put your resume for employers to find you more easily). The extraterrestrials found that I had a master degree in jukeboxes, so they kidnapped me to help them. It was tough to help them. They had an automatic translator but they bought a low-cost one, it only had the main language of Earth, that is, Chinese, and I don't speak Chinese. The jukebox you saw when you broke into my house to steal my dome fossils, is a jukebox from their planet, that they offered to me to thank me for showing them how to turn it on. Now give me back my dome fossils or I call my new alien friends. EDIT: I took so much time to post that RadEmpoleon would have time to post 10 times. Response to RadEmpoleon: I want to catch a whale at the beach, before releasing it. You have only one chocolate bar. I steal two of them from you. How many are there left? Quote:
Just kidding, I didn't know the reference but Google gave me the answer. |
All the other ones I stole from you earlier =D
Not gonna give you a number so that you have to go and count your chocolate bars! =3 😉 Have you had Megan teach you how to wrestle a bear yet? Quote:
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No, Megan is too busy wrestling with lions to teach me how to wrestle bears.
Do ghosts believe in you? |
All my ghost friends are really supportive actually, I'm very lucky. Especially when it comes to poetry, they really believe in that, and they cheer me on no end :)
Can you see that? |
I saw that you hid that chocolate bar inside a smashed clock! And now give me back my glasses! D:
Do you understand the universe? |
I don't need to, I got one of these:
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=D 😉 How many Pokemon plushies can you have before it becomes too many? |
I would say that once you're able to construct a walkway from here to the Moon with them, that might be too many!
How many times a day do you brush your teeth? |
Only once, because when I start, I never stop. I'm always brushing my teeth, 24/7, 365. (And 366, when it's a leap year.)
What did you do to break the giant boulder? |
I took a bite.
How do I drive a car? |
Not with an XBox controller so give it back to me.
Why don't we have four arms? |
Because then Sheeva would come and challenge us to a fight and kill us all 1 by 1:
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Do you know how to ride a rainbow and find the pot of gold? |
When it's raining, go outside and shine a prism at the sky. You'll have made your own rainbow. Then position another 100 prisms in such a way that the rainbow refracts back around to you. boom, you're at the end of the rainbow!
Why IS the pen mightier than the sword? |
It was a gift from Q branch...
Is this the way to Amarillo? |
No, this is an armadillo.
What dessert did you bring to the pot luck? |
I brought the Sahara. It was quite some work to transport a huge portion of Africa here, though. You better appreciate it!
Can nobody understand what this person is saying? |
I have no idea what I'm saying.
Where did the unicorn who was hiding on top of the hill run off towards? |
I went home!!!
Blue mixed with Yellow x 564 - a loaf of bread leaves what? Spoiler:
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Actually this is the branch of mathematics called "abstract nonsense" and your question corresponds to a very active topic. Unfortunately the answer is not known yet...
Can I send you a Dome Fossil by email? |
Sure just borrow the image from Serebii and Bulbapedia and send me that =D
I'll than grab it off of my Laptop screen and shove it into my handheld =3 Why do you keep clasping your hands? |
I was tasked with eradicating a planet of microscopic people. You know cause I'm evil. I figured crushing their planet between my hands would be easy... turns out they're tough little blighters and they actually have tiny nuclear weapons... HELP!!!
What is your favourite song? |
I love any song that's been taken down by copyright. The more plagerism the better.
I have to attend a wedding in 20 seconds but I'm 30 seconds away from the venue, and it'll take me 40 seconds to eat my ice cream. What do I do? |
Let's consider all the options.
Why can't I beat Red? Quote:
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You seem to be using Yellow. You need to use Green if you want to cancel out Red =D
Why did you build a skate-park in your backyard? |
Tony Hawk says skate parks in the backyard build charactar, or something like that.
If you untwist this thread, what would happen to the universe? |
It would untwist and we would actually understand something instead of constantly running into contradictions. Also all the bad people would turn good and peace would come to the world.
Where is the twist? |
I recommend using this image for reference:
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What have you done?! 😱 |
I stole a free balloon.
Who started the fire? |
All I know is that we didn't start the fire ;)
Name 3 nice politicians |
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alexander the Great and Attila.
Why are you coming to our country and how long will you stay here? |
Wants to become a superhero! Heard about your vast, unsecured deposits of nuclear waste. Chose to pounce on that opportunity before some supervillain does.
Estimates about two weeks. Spends some time traveling and digging. Implied fast results via mutation. May be three weeks in the event of boring initial mutations. Refuses to be a chump like Aquaman. What is a good housewarming gift for a new neighbor? |
A gun to their head and the promise that if they don't keep quite that gun is going to do some work. Finally, a use for that stupid water gun! Their plants won't see what's coming to them! D:
Can we call it Stanley? |
Sure thing!
Your bike is now named Stanley! =3 Though I personally think it's more of a Richard, but oh well..... Why are you hiding in the shadows? nin-nin |
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@Rekoil- I am trying to become a dark type pokemon. Why does rain fall from the sky? |
That's actually the waters of Mars. It's flat you see, just like Earth, and all those oceans, lakes and rivers that are so abundant on Mars tend to flow off the edge. Since Earth is directly under Mars, we obviously get wet sometimes.
Did you see where that leaf went once it finally left the tree? |
Yeah, it got a job and an apartment, it's now living with its leaf-friend and maybe one day they're hoping they'll have children, a dog, a house and debts.
Do you remember where you left that chest with kilograms of diamonds in it? Quote:
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Oh did you want those back? I used the Diamonds to file my Unicorn's horn =o
Kinda wore all of them down, sowwy about that! Spoiler:
At least my unicorn seemed to like it =D Spoiler:
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Oh, did I accidentally put on my work clothing? Happens to me on occasion. They look very similar to my casual clothes!
Can you play me a river? |
Sure, but don't you want to play with me? There, take a controller! :)
Why was your photo on the front pages of newspapers?! Quote:
*Hides away* |
It was an article covering a certain eeveelution nut who was allowed to design a new pair of eeveelutions to be added in gen 9! My designs were outrageously good 😇
Look forward to it =D How'd you catch up with that fast moving train? Quote:
RcCooler =3 Quote:
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I'm secretly Sonic the Hedgehog.
Who is that person hiding in the dumpster? |
A wild Oscar the Grouch appeared!!!
How many horses went to the ball? |
Three:
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😉 Who did you invite over for Christmas? |
Invited the whole town. Makes it a snap to break into their houses. Knows their exact locations.
Why does watermelon candy not taste like actual watermelon? |
This is a conspiracy from the watermelon lobby. Actually watermelon is an artificial fruit, and is patented by the watermelon lobby. But Haribo and other confectioners couldn't buy the patent to grow watermelons, so they tried to copy their taste, but haven't succeeded yet.
What masterpiece shall we play today? Spoiler:
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