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Me. Been sitting here for the last 3 hours. Please come open the door I'm cold and scared.
What color is the sky right now? |
Green and red... it's full of Christmas vibes =3
Are you the one who invented the internet? |
Yes, and all it's lovely inhabitants. Yay me!
Is ancient egypt just an ancient myth? |
Actually, it's older than you think. Pyramids where built by dinosaurs, around 200 million years BC.
How is your 1-million-subscriber Youtube channel doing? |
1 million subscribers? pffffft, that was like 3 weeks ago dude. I'm at 100 Million now.
My success is all thanks to my reaper glaceon copypasta. You know... subscribe, or else.... it comes for your soul 😈 Do you remember the great forgetting? |
Yes. It's a holiday that happens on December 32nd.
Do you remember the secret password? |
Of course! A six letter password like "secret" is pretty easy to remember to be honest.
What time is the delivery due? |
About 6 centuries from now (602 years, 7 months, 23 days and 2 hours as of this post). They haven't invented your infinite chocolate generator machine yet, but they are confident they will be able to make one by then! 😊
Doctor, WHO?! |
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I guess he's an owl. Two bars walk into a bar. What happens next? |
The two bars (the beer shop) start singing the (music) bar they've just found. But a bar is very short. So they start improvising a whole 14-minute song, including two solos.
Have you prepared your speech for tomorrow? |
There's no need. I'll just have my body double do it. I've been receiving these threats by mail, I ain't appearing in public.
Could you show me how that trick you just did works? |
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What does gravity look like? |
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Is that spider watching you sleep? |
Yes, I asked it to. I regularly find myself transformed into Alolan Ninetales after waking up, I wanna know what's causing it.
Once I do, I'm gonna try and harness it and become a Glaceon with Ninetales' beautiful tails added =3 I'll then be a Ten Tails and wield godlike powers. 😈 Have you heard about that new restaurant? |
The Lap of Luxury? Yes. Caters exclusively to pets. Turns all humans away. Seats the mammals in cardboard boxes with an option for an electric blanket. Heard really good things about their Salmon and Shrimp special. Might try sneaking in.
Which is a better disguise: Garfield, Hello Kitty, or Grumpy Cat? |
Hello Kitty. Clearly the most threatening being in existence.
Why did Santa eat the presents? |
Because he was starving to give everybody their presents.
Why? |
Revenge. Did you see the look that worker gave? Oversalted those french fries on purpose. Rendered them inedible. Justifies dumping salt into their vehicle's gasoline tank.
Have you ever written a children's book? |
No but I've bitten several. They know what they did.
What's on your bucket list for 2022? |
A red one and a blue one would be nice. I have a black one already.
What is your favourite season? |
Stargate Atlantis Season 1. Fresh new beginnings in a different place =D
Why do you keep ripping pages out of the books you read? |
To consume them for better knowledge absorption. I thought everyone knew this.
Would you like a glass of water? |
I consume all of the water from the entire earth. A glass does not suffice.
What's an amazing thing? |
Me. Appreciate me. Worship me. Now.
What's your favorite bed time story? |
When I was a little kid I liked the dutch story line of 'Jip en Janneke' haha.
Do you have any superstitions? |
No I only act on facts. Like how if I don't say 'Praise the sun' before going to bed, the sun won't rise the next day. Yes, you all got me to thank for the sun rising every single day, you better thank me!
How many cosplay costumes do you have in your closet? |
None... Cosplay? What on earth is that? ;)
Do you need glasses? |
No. Glasses need me.
What did you just plant on the roof? |
Wheat. Resembles hair when fully grown. Imagine owning the only building in your neighborhood with hair. Will make all the owners of bald homes jealous.
How did you place the ship in the bottle? |
I just left some ship food in there, came back 3 hours later and there it was!
How many stars are in the night sky? |
Around 500 billion according to google haha
do you iron your underwear? |
You mean there's non-iron underwear? 😉
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Did you nibble on the gingerbread house? |
Yes. Requires that as part of the home inspection. Tested the home's condition. Reports slightly too much cinnamon and insufficient molasses.
Bears news far worse than that, however. Violates every fire safety regulation in the books. Lacks proper ventilation too. Deems it unsuitable for gingerbread people habitation. Must condemn this house. Forces you to demolish this house at your own expense. Knows someone -ahem- who could do it cheaply. __________ What moves would you know if you were a Pokemon? |
Explosion!!! :)
If you could reincarnate in another animal, what would you choose? i have no idea how i thought of this |
In another animal? like reincarnate as a parasite or bacteria or something ? =o
Idk... horses are probably spacious 😏 a big body to take over and make my own! 😈 Could you get rid of Starlight's hairbrush for me? 😇 |
Unfortunately no, we share a common interest (a VPP) and I somewhat fear her...
Plus I heard Megan and she are in the same biker gang "The Moderators" so I fear retaliation. What is there in the center of the Earth? Quote:
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Have you seen a feather in the wind? |
I saw that birds use feathers to fly so I figured I'd just need some of them and everything would be fine. Reality is, though: you need glue too. Learnt that the hard way. :(
How many Elon Musks do you need to change a light bulb? |
Every burger in existence, every grain of pipis, every dancing baby known to mankind. To change such a ghostly luminous invention would take too much energy, even for Elon really.
What bug would smell the coolest, in your opinion? |
The stinkbug. If I accidentally fart I can blame it on the bug =D
The stinkbug is okay with it of course, it's following me around because I accidentally farted near it once! 😳 How many phones do I need to strap to my head to simulate VR ? |
One for each eye, one for each ear, one for the tongue and one for the nose.
What do you write in your private diary? |
Writes about all the best scams. Disguises them as shopping stories, charitable acts, and good fortune to prevent it ever being used as evidence. Will give you an entry from last year.
December 12, 2021 Dear Diary, Worked at the animal shelter today. Cleaned out a few cages. Scrubbed one awful one for a while to remove the gamey smell. Must not get many volunteers this time of year. Would not have been so smelly, if so. Stresses the importance of volunteering, though. Played with all the cute kitties, of course. Really loved the feather this time. Coaxed shy little Cally into accepting some pets too. Surprised the workers with gifts at the end. Gave them all dongles with a special computer security program. Seemed quite appreciative of the gifts. Hopefully protects them against malicious credit card thieves and other nasty malware. Heard stories about those thieves recently. What kind of terrible person would do that? Slipped the shelter an anonymous donation as well. Totaled $121,450. Ought to make a huge difference around there. Feels so good to help people. ______________ What are some good objects to place in this time capsule to remind people of 2021? |
A model of the Titanic, a program from Woodstock and a medical journal that proved the pandemic was finally over...
What is the best time of day? |
Why, Its obviously; Dorawillgetawaywithcoldmurder day, of course! It only happens everyday during 3:00 AM under certain 'trust me no cap' spiritual conditions, I found a list on the internet that you could follow:
1. Awaken body during hour of summoning. 2. Attach grabbing hand to a candle and light it up. 3. Draw a PERFECT circle. If it is not perfect this will not work and Boots will get you instead. 4. Finally, with a deep sigh of regret, utter the phrase "The weird man licked your mother's sandwich" 3 times. At exactly 3:666 AM you will be visited by the ghost of Peppa pig. *What subject(s) would you teach children if you became a teacher? |
Life Lessons....
... my excuse to bully them to no end 😈 Why do you have a broomstick with you? |
Is it the first time you see me with my broom? It's my main means of transportation. I only have the broomstick today because I need to go to the mechanic to change the brush.
What happened to the last Pokémon you saw? I don't have any news!😨 |
According to our records and from a few witnesses; it was last seen taking a rare candy before proceeding to enter this white vehicular device. A sketch of the scene was made by a passer by who happens to coincidentally be Leonardo DiCaprio:
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Wondering how molases is made, any idea? |
You just poor milk down a mole heap and wait for the moles to haul their ases .
How would you solve world hunger? |
Very easily. I just need to collect all the infinity stones then I'll get right on it.
How much is a can of soup in your local shop? |
There's no soup in my local shop. You gotta go on the internet and pay the hefty prices scalpers demand alongside with toilet paper. How much is that? Idk, I don't eat soup.
Is that star moving? |
Nah, you're just imagining it. And you should keep imagining it and not tell anybody for the next 3 days it will take us to get into position... I mean... the three days it takes for your fever to break!
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Have you seen the Pumpkin King lately? |
You mean it was a King?! Damn, I ate him :(
Why can't I see unicorns? |
Because you've been in a coma since July 4, 2009. Please wake up Cooler, we all miss you so much.
What's your favorite app on your phone? |
The Electric Shaver app. I no longer need a shaver as my phone now shaves my beard for me! =D
What's inside that backpack your lugging around? Such a peculiar odor... |
Leftovers. Proves so vital in Pokemon. Made perfect sense to eat half of an apple and store the rest forever. Carries it everywhere. Always stays fresh like in Pokemon too.
Helps a ton these days too. Falls ill a lot. Would be in bad shape without its constant heal. Appreciates every hitpoint. Who would win in a race: the tortoise or the hare? |
I don't believe either have licenses, so they would be stopped and arrested if they tried.
What was the last thing you drank? |
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No I can't haha
Do you have a dog? |
What can I say, my cat needed a blanket. So I bought a dog.
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What have you been working on in that garage of yours that requires making such a racket? |
I was repairing my broom, because the mechanic couldn't. He doesn't know about that technology yet.
Where were you between 5 pm and 6 pm yesterday and do you have any witnesses? |
I was driving home from work, and yes I've.
A colleague I always ride with! what is your most precious possession? |
$3 million in cash buried in an undisclosed island off the coast of the Indian Ocean. I must go. I've said too much.
What was your most recent impulse buy? |
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Ascend, to the heavens! Are you sure about that theory of yours ? |
Positive. Will see the Great Pumpkin for sure this time. Read a lot of gardening books. Set out everything pumpkins like: light, warmth, and manure.
Stole the light from the lighthouse. Bathed the pumpkin patch with light like the fifty-yard line on Superbowl Sunday. Tossed all of the junk mail from the Post Office into a huge bonfire. Resorted to a substitute on the manure, though. Confiscated the dynamite in the sewers. Printed out a stack of statements from politicians instead. Amounts to the same thing. _______________ How did you bypass the height requirement at the amusement park? |
I used my ability to hypnotize people, coupled with my ability to stare at people's souls. I saw where lied the sufferings and doubts of the guy and I helped him solve them.
I'm going to the grocery store. Do you want anything? |
The blood of my enemies. In plastic please dear~
How many fingers do you have? |
I tend to buy a lot of them at the grocery store. It's a useful replacement for the not-so-cold-anymore season. But tbh. I like soft ice cream a lot more than those pure water thingies.
How did you manage to place first in that tournament? |
I just kept looking at everyone like this :pleaplup:
I totally didn't tell my eevee army to take the other participants' families hostage or anything 😈 Do you know anything about this big floating sphere that appeared overnight? |
NO THE MOON DOESN'T EXIST IT'S A CONSPIRACY!
Do you like your new spaceship? |
Yeah it's pretty cool, but how am I supposed to go to space in this tiny toy spaceship?
Did you hear the rumor about apple pie? |
You mean THE apple pie? The one that grows on the legendary apple pie tree? Nope, never heard of it. Btw. you do not, by chance, know where it is located?
Can this really be true? |
Doubted it at first too. But, apparently scientists really did find the spaceships men and women used to come to Earth from Mars and Venus. All our current technology is reverse engineered from these spaceships! The more you know huh.....
How do you measure fun? |
I stand against the wall, mark my height with a pencil, get a tape measure, then see how tall I am 😉
What did you just call me? |
An Ash Ketchup wannabe. Understands trying to act like someone as nice as Ash. Sees nothing wrong with emulating a role model's behavior in order to improve your own. Went too far by copying the avatar and signature. Please just be a bit more yourself.
Are there any good movies coming out soon? |
Depends on if you're into superhero movies. "Superhero movie #123" is about to come out. Though, "superhero movie #212" that comes out later this year is also supposed to be good. But if you're more into darker stories then maybe "superhero movie with a dark story #87" is probably more to your liking.
Why can't I see your reflection on the water surface? |
Because I'm actually at home, not with you. Oh my god whatever that thing copying me is, please do not talk to it.
Do you want a hug? |
N-no, I'm sure waving is more than e-enough. Plus I'm totally fine and don't need any c-comfort from someone like you, b-baka...
![]() What language would you love to learn? |
The one that lets me talk to people without misunderstandings.... what do you mean such a language does not exist?
... so memes it is.... 😏 Spoiler:
Did you hear a loud noise last night, around midnight? |
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Is red better than yellow? |
I mean you have to get used to seeing the color red when you have to clean up after the princess and her shenanigans.
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What's your favorite 3 AM activity? |
Summoning the ancient demon lord... it's an activity that isn't the same at any other hour of the day.
Where did my chicken nuggets go? |
A certain SOMEONE fed them to their mogwai around midnight last night 😏
How often do you get interviewed? |
Far too often. I mean, winning the Last One To Post Wins was a huge achievement, but I don't like it when most interviews focus on this topic.
Why can't you stop breathing? |
Who on earth told you I can't???
Do you like air fresheners? |
No. They always leave a bad taste in my mouth. :(
When was the last time you were sober? |
February 12, 1992. It's been downhill from there...
What was the 400th question asked in this thread? |
Shhhh.... we don't talk about what happened in that post....
https://media0.giphy.com/media/3oKIPqZPlKW5otXIS4/giphy.gif Who you gonna call? |
The local news station. Demands an explanation. Forecasted clear nighttime skies. Saw lots of clouds, lightning, demonic entities, and marshmallow rain. How could you miss that so badly?
How do you add two fractions together? |
Realizing that I have a 1/3rd chance and a 4/3rd chance of getting the problem wrong, so i'll take a 9/5th's chance of pretending fractions don't exist. Also, not adding them in the first place means they don't exist.
What's the password to america's freedom? |
It's "money". However, it's locked behind an NFT so you don't own the password. Don't you dare copy it! D:
Can you play the piano four-handedly? |
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No, but I know someone who can:
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He does home concerts, want me to give him a ring? 😉 ______________________________ Why is your statue growling at me? ______________________________ |
It's not a statue, it's my dog, coated in a grey painting!
And he smells you stole my Dome Fossils! >:( What is your next innovative breakthrough? Quote:
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The totally original, never-before-seen G U N!
Why is there a coconut in the microwave? |
Feng shui. Learned about it from Animal Crossing. Never knew the impact that room layout had on your whole life. Missed out on so many of life's good ores, to use Animal Crossing terms. Dove right in.
Focused on two energy types here: health and helpful people. Calls for flat, brown objects for health. Invites helpful people with circular, metallic objects. Sells no round microwaves, unfortunately. Introduced the round coconut to infuse it with health. Understands your skepticism. Sounds strange to combine two things like that. Think of it like an alloy. Inherits the beneficial properties of both to make one super energy. __________________ What kind of shoes are those? |
You mean these?
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I just cast a magic spell on my feet and they function as shoes! Did you finish all your homework? |
I did! Now I can finally become what I've worked so hard towards at school! I just need a broom and a pointy hat now...
Do you ever wear odd socks? |
Do not call them "odd socks". Degrades them as some kind of banal clothing for misfits. Ugh. Deserves better.
Refers to them as "emotive footwear". Wears these catfish ones on the low days. Feels like a bottom-feeder on catfish emotive footwear days. Placed the mouth where you scrunch up your toes too. Looks like your foot eats anything it picks up. Nom nom nom. Chooses this branded drink mix emotive footwear on confident days. Stirs up feelings of kicking through brick walls and yelling "OH YEAH!" at the top of your lungs. Represents feelings of worth too. Commits part of your body to advertising. Becomes a walking billboard. Do you know how much companies pay for billboard advertising? Values that more than some worker at one of their factories. Favors the lucky rocket ship emotive footwear on adventurous days. Ventures towards unfamiliar places like new planets. Explores Maple Planet, not Maple Street. Who knows what will be there? Two coffee dispensaries or three? Cylindrical pillars of flora? Maybe a prophet of the end times? ________________ How do caterpillars become butterflies? |
They crawl into any sort of container that has butter in them. They then await death.
Death takes pity on them and transforms the near death caterpillar into some beautiful flying butter! Which is the proper name btw 😏 for some reason plebeians changed it into Butterfly.... the gall. 😤 Did you know that the bird is the word? |
I haven't heard! ;)
What time is it right now? |
It's anthropocene o'clock.
What are you doing with that bed in your backpack? |
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:59 AM. |
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