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I'm going to fight the Ender Dragon.... I've already stolen the Endermen's pearls and have ripped the rods off of Blazes... time to dive into a different dimension :coolcat:
Where did you leave the groceries? |
I left them in the 87th dimension... my bad.
What happened to my leftovers? |
I turned them into a cute bag! ^-^
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? |
42 clearly!
Who is chuck? |
I thought Chuck was the woodchuck that chucked wood?
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Zachary Levi, is Chuck duh!
Edit: sniped, but whatever... sorta works @[email protected] How many cats do you need to summon Bast ? |
Quote:
You need 9 cats to summon Bast. That is the real reason why cats are incorrectly thought to have 9 lives. True story. What time does the 3pm parade start? |
Hm. Scheduled it for 3 PM. Needs to run pre-parade checks. Includes inspecting the motors, wheels, headlights, outstanding parking tickets, driver sobriety, glove box organization, fuzzy dice, map of the route, emergency first aid kits, and fuel level. Usually takes a while.
Moves onto the band next. Cannot stand six feet apart. Spreads the band too thin otherwise. Requires proof of a Covid test. Heard about fakes. Demands thorough scrutiny. Will need their name, date of birth, phone number, date of Covid test, type of Covid test, recent contacts in the last week, vitamin D levels, a reference, job experience, mother's maiden name, two lines of credit, security code, shininess of instrument (where applicable), and a sobriety test. (How do you expect a band to play if it cannot walk straight?) Deals with the route after that. Blocks off all traffic there. Leads to a dispute with one person. Takes seven minutes to shout them down, on average. Scours the route for trash and impediments. Transitions to calling in the city to fill potholes. Dries quite slowly. Finished all the checks. Probably became hungry by now. Considers this the perfect time to launch the parade. Should be at about 6:30 PM. Goes on for 90 minutes. Breaks for dinner after that, inevitably. Scheduled a flight out of town for 7:00 PM. Ought to be able to make it to the airport in 30 minutes. Should be one state over before anyone realizes about the stolen credit card information. Perfect. ________________ Why do audiences clap to express approval? |
Because nobody is willing to part with their chocolate 😉
How often should one shower? |
Every hour, nobody wants to smell like a skuntank.
Where do poison type pokemon collect venom? |
Just like we collect Pokémon. See, venoms are the Pokémons of Pokémons. Pokémons have their Venoballs to catch venoms, they store them in their VenomCenters, and they fight with them.
What happens if I delete the System32 folder from my computer? |
The Microsoft police comes in and puts you in jail. How are they supposed to track your covid vaccine induced micro chip if you don't even have a System32 folder on your computer?
Where can I get a drink? |
I think the Ocean is a pretty good spot~
How are you today? |
This gif feels adequate:
https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/S2knFpq6Yk_6BA38lbEm59jp1XI/fit-in/2048xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2015/08/14/723/n/1922507/0a985ff24a77a29c_Q9FX0ZS/i/Ugh-young-ones.gif Could you show me your chocolate collection? 🤤 |
Only if you are okay with seeing that I left it out in the desert a while ago.
How much does a burger cost? |
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Bracelet bending pliers, a bracelet bending bar, and the metal of your choice. Recommends a nice titanium. Advises against alkali metals. Tends to explode like Victory Road Gravelers.
Have you ever met any famous people? |
Yes! In fact we're always in the same room. Unfortunately, I can't even see them. For some reason mirrors always break when I want to take a look! D:
Why do you have sand in your shoes? |
Because it's supposed to be there!!! They're sandals...
What is the best looking shiny Pokémon? |
The glorious Barfeon!
Spoiler:
Would you lend me your ear? 🤔 |
Sure. Be sure to clean it out before returning it. Imposes an extra fee otherwise. Hates dealing with all the filth people shout into it. Drop it in the mailbox within three days. Return it on time. Charges a stiff late fee.
Are you on the rewards program? Gifts you a free nose rental every ten ear rentals. ______________ What is the oldest technology you own? |
Symbiotic bacteria, providing protection from diseases (sometimes) since about 3 billion years ago!
Would you like to live foreveeeeeeer? |
I already do....
I'm older than this planet and will be what remains when this planet gets swallowed up by a Black hole or cooked by a Supernova. Wonder what type of planet and life-form I should use for the next test run? 🤔 How will you save humanity? |
By snapping half the universe out of existence. It's the only way ;)
How long is a piece of string? |
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Because one moves you around and the other is the best unit of measurement there is. They don't have anything in common.
Why do bears fly to the South Pole during Winter? |
The north pole is too crammed full of British tourists... :(
What is your favourite colour? |
This one 😙
Why are you punching the tree? |
It's an acient Scottish sports where you punch a tree and the one who punches it farthest wins. It's crazy what sports these Olympics people choose every year...
Why are you shifting the blame? |
Simply followed orders. Said to separate the darks and the whites before doing the laundry. Went to work and did just that. Suddenly spiraled into a national story about racial discrimination in the workplace and creepy telephone calls of support. Deserved none of that attention. Would have avoided the whole ordeal with a little more specificity.
Oh, right. Never finished the laundry either. _____________ What is that up in the clouds? |
It is Cthulu, High Priest of the Great Old Ones!
It wasn't supposed to rain today was it? |
One of my relatives is currently in orbit and he likes to tease me like that 😘
Spoiler:
Did you eat the last chocolate chip cookie? |
It was him - I swear.
http://content.wfmynews2.com/photo/2016/11/01/Cookie%20Monster%20USAT_1478046170218_6692962_ver1.0.JPG I can't think of a question. What should this question be? |
You asked a question right there, pal!
Is it going up or is it going down? |
Well the post count is going UP, but the posts are getting closer to the bottom so they're going DOWN. That can only mean one thing: the answer is very clearly orange.
Have you ever been lost? |
I'm just stupidly blind. I've already stood right in front of the thing I wanted to reach (multiple times) but was so spaced out that I didn't notice.
^The twist is, that this is very much the truth. ^^" You look familiar, why's that? Quote:
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Did you forget summoning me? I'm your familiar! D=
Heck, do you even remember making a pact with me? D= Spoiler:
You meanie! Who forgets their trusty companion? *runs off in an overly dramatic fashion* Why is there a giant mech parked outside your house? Quote:
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I invited my Power Ranger friends to a party tonight. It's only for people with giant mechs though.
Can you pay my taxes for this year? |
Of course!!! Just give me full access to your bank account and all your wages and savings so I can check how much you owe ;)
What colour should I paint my bedroom? |
I can't decide.
Let's go with all of them. https://i.stack.imgur.com/mvhAp.jpg Where is the nearest place that I can buy a snack? |
Actually I have to pay my fridge every time I need food. I was wondering why my apartment was so cheap...
What are the benefits of having a bath with snow? |
Completes the Snow Bath Tiktok challenge. Skyrockets your Internet credibility. Treats you better online, as a result. Leads to feelings of increased self-worth, lower stress, less anxiety, better sleep, and better overall mental health.
Warning: Reported mild to moderate cough, fever, runny nose, sore throat, and numbness in the arms, legs, and chest in some trials. Causes blurred vision, hypothermia, frostbite, and even death in severe cases. Do not take a Snow Bath while taking medication for your heart, lungs, migraines, stomach, or blood pressure. Call the Internet today. Ask them if this is the right choice. ___________ Why are penguins in the news today? |
Because they’re birthday presents, of course! We always wrap presents in newspapers!
What’s in that you’re eating? |
I don't eat. I can get everything through Photosynthesis!
Where's your place in life? |
I clicked this thinking I had a witty answer, but I'm blanking out. My place in life will be at the register demanding a refund on my memory.
If the earth was flat, what would happen if we fell off? |
We enter the Minecraft void then. ;)
Who would win in a Pokemon battle, Ash or Red? |
Ash. I always win ;)
What is the best way to cook eggs? |
Liquid Nitrogen.
Then toss them at passersby and have their anger cook them. How many napkins do you need to make a towel? |
165,413.
What's it time to do? |
Quote:
Quote:
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I can't answer that question!
Why does this happen? |
You hair's totally not cyan because a Glaceon keeps putting cyan hair dye in your shampoo, nu-uh. I don't know what you're talking about! 😙
Shoot the Sheriff or the Deputy? 😇 |
Both, I don't want witnesses!
How did Steve Jobs find the name for his company? |
It was destined. Finding the name was his job.
Why does Lance use three dragonites and not the plethora of other dragon types in the pokemon universe? |
Wanted to create a new Pokemon: Dragrio. Realized the power of the number 3 in Pokemon. Elevated Pokemon like Diglett, Magnemite, Doduo, and Exeggcute. What would happen if you combined three strong Pokemon instead of three weak ones?
Theorizes this process to be Deino, Zweilous, and Hydreigon's origins. Slowly mutated its offspring's physiology into a new species of Pokemon. Grew its own heads instead of fusing. Deemed this more evolutionarily viable than finding compatible fusions. _____ What is popular with kids these days? |
Going to the Moon is the new hip and happening for the kids.
_________________ How does one breathe? |
There's a slot in your body where you need to put money in. Doing so makes you breathe. It's the slot that says "Put money in here!" right under your nose.
What if we don't live in a society? |
That’s classified information! Do hold still while we rid you of the memory of the Matrix.
Why is it so cold out? |
To counter the current global warming, a certain amount of the population of the Earth decided to let their freezers open outside. This caused the global temperature to drop significantly.
What's your latest achievement? |
I helped make the new Flying type Eeveelution for gen 9 :coolcat:
Spoiler:
To get it you need to fly on Mega Latios/Latias and go soaring in the sky and level it up while fighting one of those birb pokemon. Too bad megas ain't coming back.... so it's unobtainable 😈 Do you know who's inside the Ball Guy costume? |
I do actually! But they would kill me if I told anyone. I will just say this... the name could be Girl not Guy...
Do you play any lotteries? |
Yes. My numbers are 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. (/reference to something).
Why does superman wear a cape? |
Since he's mostly invincible he purposely gave himself a handycap in order to flex on his haters. Airplane turbines hate this guy!
How is blue ice cream made? |
Actually it's made of Smurfs. On some planets it's made of Na'vi's.
How fast can you fill your taxes? |
Pretty fast. I mean, I only have a small waste bin.
Would you fly on a dragon if you could? |
Sadly most dragons faint from my touch alone.....
Spoiler:
How many chocolate bars would I need to win Last One To Post? 😇 |
How much do you have? I'm always willing to give loans (at a horrendously high interest rate, of course).
Is this your skiing outfit? |
Wait, where? Aren't you just insinuating... that I go skiing completely naked? :O
What's your favorite Pokémon? |
Kefka
A famous quote says "I think therefor I am". What does that mean? |
It's a misprint. It was actually uttered in reply to Descartes' sister Jeanne who had just filled a bath and asked Rene if he was ready to jump in - he replied "I stink, therefore I am!"
Are all cats are grey in the dark? |
Nah, cats glow in the dark! That's, like, basic knowledge!
Spoiler:
Where can I buy some Unobtainium ? |
From the unpawnable shop.
I'm twisted in this question, how do i escape? |
Baked a key inside a cake. Extract the key when no one is looking. Made it a carrot cake to reduce the number of people interested in it.
Go to the storage room next. Hid a hole behind a poster. Leads to a computer. Place the key onto the keyboard. Hit the key. ___________ What does this printer error message mean? |
You mean one of these?
Spoiler:
All our printers have the souls of the damned in them. This is their punishment for their misdeeds. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe and you can just ignore the message 😈 How'd your presentation go? |
They were trying to sell me! Suppose, I'm just too cute for this world... D:
Where did that light come from? |
That was a Five star wish in Genshin Impact! Qiqi specifically...
What do you think about Facebook? |
I'm pretty sure nobody would buy a Book with my Face on it, so..... I don't see the point! 😜
Did you paint that? =o |
No. Channeled the collective ability of thousands of sentient, passing ghosts. Acted as their instrument, much like a paintbrush. Created this glorious, one-on-a-kind painting of...a bee. Maybe a wasp? Declines to question precisely what or why. Clearly chose something to impart unto living. Leaves it for you to unlock. Could be yours...for a price.
(Hopes to make a mint off this, okay? Bids like crazy over things like toast and weirdly-shaped crackers. Why not "The Bee from the Afterlife"?) _________ What is something you were taught in school, but never used afterward? |
I've never been to school. I got all my knowledge from my conversations with Arceus directly. It told me a lot of useless things too, though.
What went wrong in the mind of the first person who milked a cow? |
They didn't do it for the milk. They just really wanted to milk a cow. But then someone else happened to come by and was like "Oh, look! There's stuff coming out! I wonder if we could sell it for profit". And that was the day when Lactose Intolerance was invented.
The guy then moved on to milk a lot more cows. What even is a "Moderator", anyway? |
Someone who has to rate all the modes of life. An ungrateful and time consuming job. You constantly have to move from country to country as you try out life there at varying incomes.
All the while knowing that the ones you end up liking won't be permanent D= And then you have to go publish your findings and every country nags and complains about how inaccurate it is. Is that a ban-hammer Mjöllnir that's flying at me ? 😗 |
Yeah, but it's not real. It's just loki and his trickery.
Left, Middle, Or Right. Why did you pick the middle? |
Survival instinct. Actually we were talking about walking on a thin path with lava on the left, and a lake full of piranhas on the right.
How did you get that gold medal? |
I smelted some copper and zinc and then wrote gold on it. It's funny how easy you can trick people into believing you've got a gold medal. Wanna buy one, yourself? Real gold, I swear. :)
What's your job? |
I'm a professional chocolate tester. Unfortunately it gets a bit much eating 400 bars a day, but someone's gotta do it to make sure the quality is ok for everyone else. You're welcome btw!
Can you disco dance? |
I dance on the roof of the discotheque all the time!
where nobody can see me and mock my dancing =D How are you herding all those cats?! |
It's easy when you're their leader. :3
When was the last time you played a game? |
1500 years ago, and it was called Chess I think? IDK, my memory's a little foggy now...
Do you have chocolate? I'm craving some right now! |
Yes. We enter a medieval sword duel for it.
...Honestly that sounds pretty excessive, so just take the chocolate. What's your public service announcement? |
Spoiler:
Why did you suddenly start speaking Latin? |
It's trendy.
What else is trendy? |
Breathing. Everybody does it nowadays.
What are you doing in this river? |
Washing my dishes. It's cheaper than doing it at home and it also allows me to enjoy the scenery at the same time.
Where's the demand for this supply? |
You never know who might need this supply... just wait until prices rise!
* secretly plans to brainwash people into wanting what she's selling * What's your favorite flower? |
Poppies !
Spoiler:
What's your throne made out of? |
Precious, highly sought-after materials: toilet paper and paper towel.
What should you do if two of your friends refuse to speak to each other? |
Glue them together. They will make up no matter the cost!
Can you give me the handle? |
Sure, just let me rip it off the machine first.
Here you go! What do you want a broken handle for though? 🤔 Why does your cat keep coming over to my place? |
he can't find his gameboy D:
what's your favorite genre of music? |
ASMR.
Do you own gold? |
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