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Yes. Needed to gauge romantic prospects with someone. Hated to bring pain to a living plant. Acquired Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" (see: Flowery Painting in Animal Crossing) instead. Cut out petals one-by-one.
Spoiler: Was not meant to be. Proved accurate. Pinned the painting theft on them. Could not deal with a romantic partner in prison. What is a quote that you try to live by? |
Spoiler:
Why did the store close early? |
They just know when I'm around and immediately close to keep me out. Not that that works on me, mind you. But still sorry that you have to suffer because of it!
Why has this airport been under maintenance for multiple years, already? |
They thought it would be innovative if the airport had no landing strips. But after a few months, they discovered that planes couldn't release their passengers without landing, or at least not in one piece. Hence renovation works.
Why can't I use my laptop underwater? |
Simple. Any electrical signals underwater would alert Rapture and they would send Big Daddy's and their Little Sister's after you:
Spoiler:
As such, to guarantee YOUR safety, electronics such as laptops have been made to just go kaput underwater. Did you steal Zeus' lightning? |
I mean he pretty much asked for it. Why let it lie around in the open? Like, all it took me was fly to Greece, climb mt Olympus, ascend to the realm of the gods, find Zeus' palace, invade it at night when he had other things to do, get past his private guards, hide under his bed until he went to sleep, grab the thing and run as fast as I can while avoiding the masses of gods that flung their spells and stuff around, jump back down to the human reals while also avoiding any fall damage and get back to my place safely.
It's an easy task compared to the real challenges of life. Like riding a bike. Why did you drop that can of yoghurt? |
I didn't drop it it, I strategically placed it on the ground to feed all my hungry ant minions. You think it slipped out of my hands? I only wanted you to think that obviously. As you can see, it was totally on purpose *leans causally against wall and whistles*
How many cows does it take to steal a lightbulb? |
As many as it takes to evolve from cows to minotaurs. Give it a couple generations and a couple million cows. they'll eventually get there!
How often do you use your Moon-base lasers? Spoiler:
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Sometimes the meat in my plate is too hard for my knife, so I need something more powerful to cut it.
Chocolate VS a bear: who wins? |
The sentient walking chocolate wins this battle 100% of the time.
Why did the tropius tell a lie? |
Because if it hadn't everyone would have went bananas!
Wasn't there a store right here just a day ago? |
No. This was always a parking lot. It was built on a cemetery for otherworldly entities though... did you by any chance go through some kind of portal when you entered this store? or perhaps a sudden fog came one? I'd like to know as I want to go back home D=
Which reminds me.... BOO! Spoiler:
How are you doing that? It defies the laws of physics! |
Actually, physics is overrated. It's trying to explain things that basically work with magic.
Why doesn't my pillow want to let me go? |
Caught you browsing body pillows on your phone. Worries about you dropping them for one with a hot body.
Promised a lifetime together. Guaranteed it on the warranty. Wonders if it means anything to you still. What is the favorite thing that you bought this year? |
I purchased the internet. At the same time I take no responsibility for what happens on it.
Given the choice between sleeping on a bed and a floor, why would somebody pick the floor? |
The bed was created by people who considered themselves high and mighty. It also costs money. The floor on the other hand is everywhere. You don't need to pay for it. It was the og bed and doesn't consider itself above itself, like a bed does. It's true to itself so why not sleep on the floor?
Are you aware that if you are being caught again you'll end up in prison? |
I am so high above the law, the cops can't see me.
What are you doing with that box of cheese? |
It moved on it's own. I'd check the expiration date, but I need to flip it over and something might come out if I do that D=
Anyway, obviously I'm gonna sell this on ebay =D Where did you get that odd looking plant? |
I found it in a store. It was stuck between the aisles for bakery and nukes. They told me it's called "Hamburger Plant" because of the type of fruit it bears.
Can I see you tomorrow again? |
Sure. But you need a Visa, a negative molecular Covid test, and also some equipment, like a space suit, and dried food. And you have to pay your trip in space rocket.
But other than that, you're welcome. Are you a famous Youtuber? |
Well my videos are famous for disappearing if that counts.....
Why did the mod ban the Glaceon? |
The mod was a jealous leafeon who had wanted to evolve into a glaceon.
Why are you in prison? |
Mugging... I stole someone's coffee.
Can you touch your toes? |
I'll tell you when I find them. I'm not good at keeping the house clean.
Why is pink the best color? |
Actually there is a mathematical theorem that states:
Quote:
Quote:
Why can't I plug an Ethernet cable to my brain so I don't need a computer or a phone to access the internet? |
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