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What hurts? (Emotionally)
A feel good thread where we can support one another when feeling down.
I'm personally so frightened by all this inflation. |
Honestly broken down. Morning was bad because of being yelled at for a stupid mistake I did, and I admit it and corrected it. But I'm still being yelled at and taunted by it.
Typical isn't it, haha. You do good work all the time without question and not much for it. You slip up one time, ONE time, and they NEVER let you hear the end of it. And then, with the broken motivation, you're expected to do work willingly with a happy face. I know I'm spitting a bunch of bullshit here which doesn't even matter, but oh well, I don't care anymore. Thought I would get better as the day goes on but the scolding, taunting just DOESN'T stop. And it's not JUST these two things. You'd think I'd at least say something in my defense, but it doesn't work. It just doesn't. I'm not allowed to talk back, I'm seen as someone mentally disturbed or mad when I get even the slightest bit angry. And it's not just with family, it's with everyone. So basically, my self esteem is soo low, anyone can come up to me and insult me in any way they want and I won't be able to say anything back. Crying is not an option for boys here too. I'm just supposed to sit with a neutral face and nod and say sorry, upon saying which I get scolded too. Welp, seems like I'm expelling air out of my lungs for pretty much nothing, so I'll stop now. 😔 |
@Retek: That honestly sounds so toxic and borderline abusive. :/ Is there any way to remove yourself from the situation?
I had a breakdown last night over my dead dog and I’m still kinda processing it. I kept up a fairly strong facade for a while there but I just couldn’t maintain it anymore. Tonight I did some more grieving on top of my progressive anxiety towards a trip I’m taking soon. It won’t stop me - but that doesn’t make these overwhelming feelings of dread go away. At the same time it motivates me because I’m all the more convicted that I need to do this and confront my fears. But I’d be lying if I said my panic isn’t on the incline as the day inches closer. 4am? Awake and still tearing up, ahaaa. :’) |
I feel like I'm stuck in a hole and can't really get out. I haven't been able to drive for almost 4 years because I haven't been able to get tested for what causes me to have seizures. Mom passed away just before COVID and COVID has kinda body slammed all of us. I wasn't able to be tested because it requires me to be in the hospital for 2 weeks. Since I left my job I don't have insurance and getting state help...well I might as well jump off a cliff first. I can get money from what Mom left me but it's not like it's a monthly thing I just get it when I need it. And trying to get anything from the state is like pulling teeth. The Dr keeps yelling at me to sign up for state help like it's easy and I keep telling her it's not as easy as it seems. You always have to jump through hoops for the simplest things.
So with me not working or being able to drive I'm usually stuck at home every day. Even if I wanna go somewhere I always have to rely on someone to take me. I get tired of having to do everything on someone else's schedule. One thing I get tired of people saying is Just go for a walk and you'll feel better. No I won't. I'll feel good for that walk and then feel like shit again when I get home. Not like I can go exploring without the need of someone else. Just walk around the neighborhood looking at the samething over and over again. Telling me to go for a walk is like me telling you to break a leg and then walk it off you'll feel better. |
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It isn't abusive, unless I was getting beat up, but it's just so darn annoying I hate it. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your dog, may he/she rest in peace. I know you were trying to stay strong, but at times, it really is better to just let yourself cry when alone. I hope you feel better soon friend, and are able to get a good sleep later too. |
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Here’s some reading you can do on the matter. Please, stay safe.. |
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If you believe what you’re going through is not abusive than I politely disagree but stand with you nevertheless. Only you know your circumstances and I know you’re smart enough to come to an educated conclusion. Just know that we care about you and want to see you thrive! ♡ |
I agree that is abuse, and I suffer similar.
I'm autistic and seen as someone who can't possibly do or know anything. Whenever I talk, no one listens, or they'll go on about how I don't know anything because I'm disabled. It's hard not having a voice. I'm unlikely to change them, but I'm going to surround myself with people who value me! |
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At the moment, crippling loneliness and disassociation. It's really not too fun, not finding the things I previously found fun, fun. And I'm less active everywhere and I'm not gaming and such. But is okey, we power through <3
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Till then, slimy frog hugs await! :D |
Today I woke up over an hour earlier and spend the time thinking how I don't want to live anymore and how I don't want to get up and go to work. Right now I'm sitting at work trying to figure out how I survive this day. A day like many others before. A day like many many many more days to come.
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I struggle rn because my brain constantly goes "no one actually cares about you or what you say".
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Still dealing with nightly bouts of insomnia and sobbing. Idk why I’ve just felt so bloody emotional lately. The sleeplessness I can handle but it feels like every little thing gets under my skin.
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Hope both of you feel better soon! <3 |
Not so much a personal issue.
Never fun waking up and the top news stories are about an escalating nuclear war. I completely disconnected from the news for about a week, and it's time to do it again. I'd rather die blissfully ignorant of it. |
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Like Zeo, I'm feeling so heavy-hearted about the war... the fear-mongering is especially killing my spirits. Last night it became too much and I had to cry for an hour thinking about it at 5:00 AM. I just feel so awful on behalf of everyone suffering. So even though I ought to be happy right now, it's a bit of a struggle. :c
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Sending bear hugs! |
Wow I feel super sad reading this. Still glad to have read everyone's posts though, because I really want to say that I appreciate all of you and I hope these negative feelings can subside soon.
Am also currently thinking about the war in Ukraine and hurting emotionally. I am Russian myself, born in Russia but parents left with me when I was 7 for a better life in another country (had a few places on our list and the US ended up being where we went). If you hear me speak you would assume I was just your typical American. I am honestly so thankful not to have a Russian accent right now because I feel some people would choose to blame me if they heard it, sadly it's been happening to others. Quoting a message I read on Twitter earlier, the Russian babushka in America who makes pirozhki did not invade Ukraine. Being a Russian I am honestly feeling guilty solely because of the place where I was born, even though I know I had no choice in the matter. Obviously Ukrainians are the most innocent ones though - they are wonderful people and I cannot even begin to understand the horror they're experiencing right now. |
Oh yeah, a lot of anti Russian sentiments and it's fine for the country and Putin's actions but /not/ against the citizens and Russians abroad. An old couple running a Russian restaurant didn't start the war.
Hearing about the atrocities being committed against Ukraine and even the Russian army using young, untrained soldiers as their "cannon fodder" is just so upsetting. |
JUST SO ANNOYED.
SO SO SO MUCH. It's like I'm feeling good one moment, and my family is like, "Okay we'll just throw some random chore at him which we should be doing ourselves but make it sound like an emergency all of a sudden then scold him for not doing it IN a millisecond, and when he starts to do that chore, just throw another one at him from sideways and then taunt him for not doing that BECAUSE he was busy doing the first one, start giving him responsibility speeches and if he shows the TINIEST bit of frustration, say that he'll be nothing but a burden forever, crush his spirits by saying so and then later taunt him for being to moody and irritated and depressed. Oh and what if he's been doing our biddings since he was like, 10? Now we find another reason to taunt by saying, 'why do we HAVE to tell you what to do? You should come and do this by yourself!!'" SIGH This is my life now-a-days. Sorry for the rant. :( |
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