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Sorye HK October 30th, 2005 2:52 AM

Sorry
 
I've thought about this for hours today, constantly wondering whether or not I should post this. However, I finally decided to do so, thinking it would be best to keep a promise, rather than break one.

Ok, some of you may remember the spam attack, when I first joined. I acted out the role of my "brother." The brother that wanted Daegon_Kimeron, banned from PC. It seemed fun at the time. It felt nice receiving the attention of other members, and the thought of knowing that I was doing something I wasn't supposed to, rather appealed to me. It was an act of "disobedience," (as my parents call it).

I, in real life, have this problem (yes, I think of it as a problem), of constantly feeling the need to uphold the rules. This act of disobedience, in a way, made me feel free; free from the rules that I would usually uphold, and as I've said just now, it appealed to me.

However, I eventually got away with it, and apart from the mere "appeal," that I was aiming in the beginning, I also received attention, and sympothy; an added bonus.

For a while after that, I went back to my normal self. No matter how I didn't want to do so, a part of me still felt the need to go back to the guy I was; the guy I was in real life. I soon grew attached to PC, hoping that I'd be able to do something someday to repay everything that I earned from here.

I was rather lured to the hacks/emulation forum when I first arrived. The hacks that people made intrigued me, and I was soon thinking up ideas of my very own game. I soon completed a simple hack, involving walking potatoes;; During my time there, I made a couple of friends, including fudge01, and tetsuya-san.

My later interest in rm2k3, helped me make good friends with Darmage31, and soon after when the Game-Dev came to being, guys like Krazy(Krazy_Meerkat), rm2k3kid, L.T Surge(Breakout), Leon(blizzy), and many more. I'm sorry that I couldn't remember you all.

I was happy when a PM came from Kairi, asking me if I wanted to mod the Game Dev forum, along with Darkmage. I accepted.

However, inside me still lurked the desire. I wanted to relive the brother act that I had first acted out when I first joined... And I did just so, this time through msn. I threw away the friendship that I so dearly loved.

I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused, then, and now. I'll promise right now, that it won't happen again. For sure. I've finally learnt the consequences of these actions, and I intend to pay the price.

I'm sorry to the friends I made here, that had to put up with my childish behaviour, and to those who believed in me.

Hey, Kylie-Chan, hope you have a nice birthday. Tetsuya-san, thanks for helping me out during my time here. Tyler, and Sabelye, thanks for being there when I need you guys. Leon, hope you break the Game-Dev mod curse. You'll do a great job. Avatar, I loved your charsets, and Darkmage, I loved the way you always managed to give confidence to me. To the rest of the Game-Dev members, it's been nice looking at the progress you've all been making, and thanks for just being the guys you are.

Thanks. PC's been a great place to me, and I've just been a total idiot.

Hey, if I were given the chance, I'd apologise to each and everyone of you, face to face.

Feel free to criticise me in my LJ. I'd still like PC to remain a nice place, and don't want to clutter it because of this one thread.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/eikichi_kun/

Zaikiro October 30th, 2005 5:04 AM

This was somewhat guessed before somewhere.

It's susprising, but you still are a good member of PC.

Drifblim October 30th, 2005 12:25 PM

I can sympathise. When I had an argument with a friend, I decided to take my anger out on a certain site and decided to join a group that had just ran afoul of the chief moderator. That was seven months ago. So I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that's screwed off their loyality and friendship on a forum.

Geometric-sama October 30th, 2005 10:00 PM

I feel sorry that you felt you had to do something like that, but I don't blame you for it or anything. You're still a nice person IMO. ^__^

Kylie-chan October 30th, 2005 10:19 PM

...I can't deny that this has seriously messed me up right now... but I agree with JA. You're still a good person in my opinion, and I couldn't possibly bring myself to blame you... but it feels... odd... to think that this person I thought was real wasn't... o_O

Geometric-sama October 30th, 2005 10:46 PM

After recent events, nothing really surprises me anymore XD. I had another friend tell me he wasn't real a few weeks ago.


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