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-   -   Poke'mon Elemental (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=68877)

Jake June 5th, 2006 2:35 PM

Poke'mon Elemental
 
Version 1: Ice
Story:A young man named jake has just started his journey. He begins in a cave of ice.He runs into a room filled with many Poke'mon, some of legend, many rare. Thats were he sees a talking Lapras.
#1 It All Begins Herehttp://i6.*.com/11t226p.png
#2 Crystal Poke'mon?http://i6.*.com/11ugol1.png
#3 Round One http://i5.*.com/11uhu0k.png


And if any one wants to help just ask. I need more sprites and ideas. I'll even take your characters.

ace675 June 5th, 2006 3:28 PM

this is great but you will need more epsoide comics to make this one great one a day will get untreatable

Jake June 6th, 2006 6:04 AM

i kno #2 is coming out in a couple minutes
so has #3

Goatman56 June 6th, 2006 7:12 AM

Alright first off, the trainer is a re-color that's not good. They're a few minor grammar mistakes, your battlefield and effects suck. Word bubbles are to big at times, also if your going to put your text to the sides put names before what they say. I mean sure it's obvious who's, who. But some people might still get confused. Overall this comic isn't to good, also to me the Lapras seems like a godmodder with the whole talking thing. Anyways I give this comic a 3/10.

Jake June 6th, 2006 7:22 AM

yea i saw were i messed up on the talking lapras grammar i spelled know wrong in #2 and the recolor took me like 10 seconds, so n e ideas how to improve it? Are u saying maybe i should make a different comic?

Houndoom1 June 6th, 2006 8:23 AM

Trey to make more panels tehn just one big one. It will make the comic more interesting.

Jake June 6th, 2006 2:33 PM

should i make a new start and make a different comic though?

[NovaPirate] June 6th, 2006 3:04 PM

New start. Same comic. Talking Lapras- Bad; Recolors- Ughh; Catching a Lparas as first poke'mon- The worst possible thing I think you can do.

Jake June 6th, 2006 3:53 PM

i dont c were i messed up on the recolors and my new comic is going 2 b called "The Characters", i dont kno y, but it will feature Jake and some special faces from the show
Tracey
Drew
Richie
Max
Ash
May
Brock
http://i6.*.com/120mmb6.png
all done me except ash, and look at brocks clothes were its orange, you will c that its the anime style,in other words, without the circle, and i added wes from colosseum

♥Naomi♥ June 6th, 2006 4:52 PM

you didnt mess up on the recor its that recolors suck in sprite comics ya need to put more work into it
now time fore some crits..

talking lapras:NO.usually talking pokemon arnt good,put what they say in (-text here-)

recolors:like i said before,get more origonal

1 big panel:NO it would be better if there are more panels and why is there a regice in water?!?!it would sink.

things to work on:ok,you should put waves to show that the pokemon are in the water.fix up the trainer OW,more panels,no talking lapras,and like he said,catching lapras as a started is kinda godmodding

Tbone2356 June 6th, 2006 6:25 PM

The Bad.....Is There Good?
 
Dont Take This Rating Offensive Take It As Info To Learn How To Make Your Comic Better....


The Bad:
-Talking Lapras Is Kind Of Poorly Introduced, Im Not Agianst Talking Pokemon Seeing As My Comic Has One But If Your Going To Have One You Need To Put More Effort Into Its Character Rather Then Acting Like Some First Battle In Generic (Annoying) Comics.
-You Need Panels...No One Screen Because Then You Cant Go From Place To Place....
-I've Seen many Many Many Many Many Generic (Trainer Journey) Comics Fail Here So Dont Get Too Generic With This
-Agian The Panels Sort Of Ruin It And Make The Comic Less Exciting...And The Speech Bubbles On The Side Just Plain Stink.
-The Hero Is A Recolor....No...No...No....Bad.
-Starting In A Cave Isnt Really A Good Intro Because We Dont Know What This Guys Backround Is, Where He's From, Or What Region This Comic's In.....And Using Icons Like That All Together With A Real Overworld Pokemon Dont Generally Mixwell And It Looks Sloppy.....
-The Sprites Have Room For Improvment....Tracey Looks Like A Transvestite....Max Looks Like An Ugly 30 Year Old Man........And Drew Is Adult Looking As Well....

The Good:
-Ughm....You Have 11 Posts! Yay!

Overall Raiting 3/10....Improve

Jake June 7th, 2006 5:48 AM

thnx, yea this is my first comic, so thank u all, ill try 2 improve, right now im trying to make sprites from guys on the show
(i like the tracy 1)

Chizzy June 7th, 2006 9:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake
And if any one wants to help just ask. I need more sprites and ideas. I'll even take your characters.



I don't think you will...Joining comics is now against the rules and has been for a little while now...

My Main comment is try not to use recolurs with paint defaults. and don't get too generic...

Jake June 7th, 2006 9:41 AM

sry,should i make a new comic and remake everything, make it totally different?

Chizzy June 7th, 2006 10:09 AM

No need...Just follow the tips of some experienced comic makers...

Jake June 7th, 2006 10:27 AM

2 late, i kind of already started, my new comic

Chizzy June 7th, 2006 10:30 AM

OK...Fair enough...hope this next comic will be great! and if you don't need this thread anymore, have it closed...

Jake June 7th, 2006 11:33 AM

well i need a mod to close this down, i think this is a start of a wonderful thing

HikozaruLover June 7th, 2006 11:46 AM

Well,I think I realy agree with Tbone,3/10.But if you make a new one,hope it gets better.

Jake June 7th, 2006 2:17 PM

well i'll try, but who nows wut it will be like

Tbone2356 June 12th, 2006 11:33 AM

Yummy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake
well i'll try, but who nows wut it will be like

I Think You Should Keep The Same Ideas But Start From Scratch.
For Example. How At My Comic I Revamped Episode 1.

If You Revamp The Comic With At Least 4+ Panels & Better Sprites It Can Be Good.

If You Need Help With Sprites Or Sumin PM Me.

But If You Do Renivate This Comic I Think You Should Start A New Thread Because This 1st Page Is Littered With Revamping And Making It new So For The New Commers Coming Here It Would Be Like...What The Heck???

Jake June 12th, 2006 11:42 AM

oops
 
2 late, ive started a whole new comic, no were close to the same idea, but i could get it to tie in to the my old idea somehow
http://i5.*.com/148fz7s.png
wut do u think?plz rateit( i hope its good)


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