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-   -   "ANDANIA" idea (non-Pokemon) -Critiques very welcome!- (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=83527)

Rivvon May 2nd, 2007 6:34 PM

"ANDANIA" idea (non-Pokemon) -Critiques very welcome!-
 
I've always wanted to make a videogame, and I've had some ideas. I'll try to explain it the best I can, and critiques are certainly welcome!

--Before the game actually starts, the "prologue," if you will, the kingdom Andania was an utopia. Everything was perfect. I could go on and on about what made is so great, but that's unnecissary. There was absolutely no flaw in Andania. But one day (or night, rather) the king was murdered in his sleep by a crazed man named Wolf. Wolf took over the kingdom and turned into the exact opposite of perfect - and it stayed that way for quite some time. But one night, the brave Ylnor did the exact same thing Wolf did to the good king, and killed him in his sleep. Ylnor restored perfectness to Andania once again.--

100 years later, though, in the lushest forest of Andania, Malaway, a "myserious hooded man" (a demon from the "Other Way") goes into it and performs a strange ritual...and brings Wolf back to life!

Myr, the hero of ANDANIA, is an 11-year-old boy with only one good friend. He's helping his mother as he always does, when a menstuer (that's pronounced "monster") attacks their house! Now, a menstuer is a giant black creature, about 6-8 stories high, and have not been seen since before the times of Wolf. The menstuer grabs Myr's mother, and of course, Myr tries to save her. He uses his father's giant (very long) sword, Betty (heh heh...) but can't even scratch the menstuer as the sword is too difficult for Myr to pick up. The king's army comes and kills the menstuer, but kills Myr's mother in the process. Myr is taken to the castle to rest, as his home's been destroyed.

At the castle, the prince and his dragoman discuss the menstuer attack. They go into a weaponry and see...Wolf! They evacuate the entire castle, and Wolf looks around, and seems to have found something of interest.

Everyone was evacuated to Metz Square, the main trade centre and marketplace of Andania. Myr is standing around when andother menstuer attacks! The prince and dragoman, who are there as well, help Myr by giving him a blue sword and fighting alongside him, using their magic. Myr's friend, Ken, also happens to be there, and brought his bow and arrows. After defeating the menstuer, the prince and dragoman explain that Wolf is causing these menstuers to break loose, and that there have been reports of one in each major city around Andania.

These menstuers serve as the game's bosses, and defeating each one will give a "password" or "key" that will help them get into the castle and defeat Wolf.

That's the basic idea, later I'll put in some technical aspects, such as gameplay and maps and such. Again, please comment and even critique! I want this seem as flawless as...Andania itself! >.>

blankspace May 2nd, 2007 8:31 PM

Okay, I feel like giving a critique. ;D Allow me, blankspace, a complete novie at game-making to give one.

The story sounds interesting enough but the grammar is weak. It gets a bit confusing while I'm reading it. Another thing is that it sounds odd that a prince and his dragoman (whatever that may be) would randomly give a sword to someone they just took in. Why? Well, I think it's because I wouldn't give a sword to some kid if there could be some older, more able-bodied person around. Perhaps you can include why they gave the sword to him? Oh, and another thing, if they evacuated the castle, how did they bring along a spare sword? Did it just happen to be in their bags or something? It's just something to think about for your game.

Anyway, I can't think of anything else at the moment. If I sound mean or something, I'm not trying to get you disheartened. I just think there are some things you have to think about. :D

Rivvon May 3rd, 2007 11:49 AM

Oh, you've reminded me on how much I left out of that horribly written summary >.< Most of your questions are answered, I was just far too lazy to write everything in...

Quote:

The story sounds interesting enough but the grammar is weak. It gets a bit confusing while I'm reading it. Oh, ok. So work on the grammar? I should do that, my writing skills are very weak ^.^; Another thing is that it sounds odd that a prince and his dragoman (whatever that may be) A "guide." would randomly give a sword to someone they just took in. Why? Well, I think it's because I wouldn't give a sword to some kid if there could be some older, more able-bodied person around. Perhaps you can include why they gave the sword to him? Yup, I forgot to mention that. So sorry, my apologies! Well, eh...you are right, it makes no sense...the prince knew the boy's father, and just happened to be walking up to him to start a "friendly conversation." Myr was just lucky, I guess. ._. Oh, and another thing, if they evacuated the castle, how did they bring along a spare sword? Did it just happen to be in their bags or something? It was picked up from a nearby merchant. Stolen, if you look at it the really technical way. But it was all in self-defense! Again, I apologize for my laziness to put in the really technical/small details. It's just something to think about for your game.
Thank you, though! I had written it out as a story first so I could make sure I got all the details in, but re-writting all of it would take...a lot of time. And as you can guess, I'm quite lazy ._.; And reading through your comments made me realize many other technical points I've left out. But your comments are really appreciated! It helps make the game easier to understand and just overall better :D


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