The PokéCommunity Forums

The PokéCommunity Forums (https://www.pokecommunity.com/index.php)
-   Art Studio (https://www.pokecommunity.com/forumdisplay.php?f=21)
-   -   Comic Pokemon- A world divided (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=91098)

ShadowCat13133 July 4th, 2007 6:15 PM

Pokemon- A world divided (Comic PG-15)
 
Hi, I'm new to comic's.... well I hope you like it.

#001
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/001.png
#002
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/002.png
#003
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/003.png
#004
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/004.png

I will normaly have one or two new ones a week.

[NovaPirate] July 4th, 2007 6:44 PM

Don't mix sprite generations, you know, Fr/Lg, R/S/E, MD.
Possibly a plot, that would be nice.
Work on grammar, only a couple mistakes.
Your speech bubbles look like thought bubbles with the dots leading up to it. Because not everyone in the Pokemon universe is psychic, with mind reading abilities, you might want to fix that.

Weatherman, Kiyoshi July 4th, 2007 7:09 PM

Not bad for a starter.

actually, I like how you make the unfolding plot.
But as said below, not everyone phychic, so you may want to fix the text bubble set up.

[NovaPirate] July 5th, 2007 9:54 AM

I posted above you, Achamo x]
mmK.
My fault about the plot, what I meant to say is that we could get a better introduction about the characters, you know, possibly introduce them, get some names, a little bit of background information rather than just saying hello and battling.

ShadowCat13133 July 6th, 2007 5:00 PM

Newest
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/002.png

Is this speach bubble better? I was thinking of not doing them any more because it take hour's to make them all by hand on Paint. I also have to fix the all the letter's in each sentence before putting them in the bubble.

I Plan on doing Bio's if people like it, and you right that I should had said who the redhead is. You'll learn more of him and Kathy in the next few comics. Also I'll admit I'm bad at spelling and proper gramer. If any one wants to help me with the wording PM me.

ShadowCat13133 July 9th, 2007 4:24 PM

Number 3
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/003.png

doesn't anyone like them?

[NovaPirate] July 9th, 2007 4:54 PM

More introduction, as said before.
Better graphics, and the Charizard magically changes colors. Use better grammar, and NEVER use N.J. for Nurse Joy. N.J. is a state.

For the third, once again, don't use acronyms, even for things like Land Lord.
And because it's so big it's blurry. Not good.
And TUP.
TUP is your enemy, never use TUP, use speech bubbles.
((TUP=Text Under Panel))

Red1530 July 9th, 2007 5:48 PM

I think that the story has potential if you are to develop the story line. Also I don't have any qualms over the graphics.

The dawn Witch Lucia July 10th, 2007 11:52 AM

This comic could be good. Just fix up the grammar errors, and it has enough potential to be one of the best comics this season!~

Esupio July 10th, 2007 12:15 PM

God, I remember when everybody used T.U.P and then suddenly everyone changed sides.

What Astral said, don't use Text under Panels, if you want to focus on the text instead of whats going on, then you'd probably be better of making a fan fiction with pictures.
The comic doesn't really make much sense, you haven't established any of the characters, where they are from, what they are doing, etc, also the plot is rather un clear, all I know so far is that somebody wants this other guy to spy on somebody.
I think with some work you could definitely make this comic better.

Dachampster July 11th, 2007 6:35 PM

Critic time.
Page one- Lance does not own a Charizard, and if "Char" is the nickname, it should be capitalized. "Coming" does not have an "e". And why are there too many Charizard?

Esupio July 13th, 2007 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dachampster (Post 2615008)
Critic time.
Page one- Lance does not own a Charizard, and if "Char" is the nickname, it should be capitalized. "Coming" does not have an "e". And why are there too many Charizard?

Did ShadowCat actually specify that it was Lance?

ShadowCat13133 July 18th, 2007 5:10 PM

It is lance and he does have a charizard

I got this from a Silver walkthrough

CHAMPION LANCE
--------------
Pokemon:
~ Gyarados L44
~ Charizard L46
~ Aerodactyl L46
~ Dragonite L47
~ Dragonite L47
~ Dragonite L50

And as I said before I'm doing my best with the spelling and gramer. I failed english 3 times because I couldn't remember how to spell things or get the gramer right... i even took special classes to reteach me the basics and it only helped a little. It would be nice if some one wanted to help with the gramer.

If everyone thinks I should go back to bubbles I will.
The Charizard became red because it used overheat.

ShadowCat13133 July 21st, 2007 5:43 PM

here's number 4
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a164/ShadowCat13/Comic/004.png

[NovaPirate] July 22nd, 2007 5:47 AM

It makes no sense to me. First he's working for one person, than another, and when did he get a job, how did he learn to get an interview? Who is the girl that walks him in the wrong directing to get to Devon Corp? Who is his first boss, why does his boss change entirely, name and all, and why is there an exit on the second floor?!?

Dachampster July 30th, 2007 2:15 PM

And why in the Nidoking battle, is there a shiny Charizard, but in a couple different panels in the battle is it normal?

ShadowCat13133 August 8th, 2007 6:18 PM

As I said before the Shiny Charazard used OVERHEAT......

And Lance go him the job at Devon so he can watch Kathy. I have no clue what you mean about his boss changeing?


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:00 PM.


Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter © 2002 - 2018 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2016 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.

Acknowledgements
Use of PokéCommunity Assets
vB Optimise by DragonByte Technologies Ltd © 2023.