Never in the Wrong Time or Wrong Place
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August 12th, 2007 (12:38 PM).
First time I ever read "miosis" in a Pokemon fanfic. xD But as Steven said, you do have good word choices when describing things.
The one thing that bothers me is the random line breaks in your chapters. You place sentences alone in a new paragraph when they could have easily been combined with previous paragraphs.
There's not much else I can say. I figure that others might have a problem with Jeff starting so late, but I really don't care. As long as you finally posted this story. :p I'm going to keep reading this, of course.
Now nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody speaks my name
I'm just another blister in the mouth of shame
A bug in Ender's Game
Joined May 2006
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