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Old September 24th, 2007 (5:06 PM).
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Grovyle42(Griff8416) Grovyle42(Griff8416) is offline
No. 1 Grovyle Fan
  • Crystal Tier
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Great Green North
Gender: Male
Nature: Calm
Posts: 1,104
Originally Posted by Alter Ego View Post
Small note: how can one creature surround anyone? o.O
I meant that the shrieks were surrounding the him, not the creature XD. I should have made that clearer.

I'm planning to rewrite the earlier chapters again, now that I have a better sense of grammar and description. I plan on fixing the commas, semi colons, word repititions, descriptions, and so on.

That was a really helpful review, Alterego, I appreciate it. I'm glad you liked the parts mentioned and I'll definately take this review into consideration while rewriting/future chapters. I have somethings up my sleeve for the plot. Don't be afraid to go uncensored with your future reviews.

(PS I have a grammar beta now (Diamondpearl876) so that should help a lot). I actually plan on revamping a lot from chapter 4.

I'm happy you liked the characters, a lot of people have been commenting on them.

Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
Aw, fk. I noticed more mistakes as I was reading again. BLAH! Oh well. They're minor ones.

Anyway, I really like this chapter. I'm glad to see to added things I suggested, too.

When I was betaing (that's not even a word) this, I thought that Taillow's buddies would come in and save the day, followed by a sad good-bye. Ha. Well, I was surprised, and what you did was better and included character development, so kudos to you.

Question: Is Jeff's pokemon team going to consist entirely of boys? XD All three of them are so far, I believe, unless I'm an idiot and missed something.

I'm also interested to hear more about this Chad guy, and why Treecko/Corphish won't give their names out to Jeff. c:

Keep it up!
That Taillow rescue squadron never crossed my mind actually...hmm.

Jeff's team will consist of males for awhile but not always...I have a reason for this.

I'm glad you're intrigued for more.

Thanks for the reviews, you two.
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